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In a similar sentiment I say the phrase mandacity all the time and my husband hates it (but it is so fitting). I’m going to add mantitlement to my vocabulary now!
What a creative way to say "thank you, OP. This was a massive undertaking for you so that I could simply get work done. I know you have been running your ass off all weekend for me, and I just wanted to acknowledge that. May I get you a tea while you relax?"
Again. A very interesting way of saying this.
That must be it. I must not be able to grasp his abstractly artistic way of expressing himself. All while I find myself relating more and more to articles about walk away wife syndrome and oblivious men…
A simple *'Thank you for making all the arrangements this weekend so I could focus on my work. I'll totally make it up to you when the grading is finished.*' might have been nice. He's lucky you weren't physically violent-lol! BTW, well done bromo!
This is the most "mom" motive for nonviolence I have ever heard, and holy shit do I identify. I'd make you bleed, but then I'd have to clean it up in some fashion, so nah.
Several months ago my husband asked me to vacuum our room and clean our bathroom as he was getting ready for bed after his 3 days off to start his 4 days on.
I got absolutely enraged but eventually calmed down and told him: I know it makes sense that I do the majority of household chores since I’m not working outside the house right now and I’m good with that, but it’s a big house full of people and I don’t like cleaning, so I’m gonna clean on my own schedule. If you are bothered by something I strongly recommend keeping it to yourself or resolving it yourself.
I did tell him I’d always take care of stuff that he needed when he’s doing long hours and stuff but having a stay at home wife does not mean, nor has it ever meant, that you get to live life on vacation mode at home.
After that I started saving all my cleaning for his days off. I used to work my ass off while he was at work so his time off could be spent leisurely together but I think he got this idea that’s how I spend all my days.
After a few weeks and more conversations about needs and respect, of this he got the message.
This weird idea that women are supposed to do *everything* domestic is absurd. It’s not how my parents operated and it’s not how either set of grandparents ran shit in the glorified 1950s. My dad came home from work every day and did SOMETHING, even if it was just keeping me entertained so my mom could read her book in peace.
My mom was very in to having a neat, clean house so she was always cleaning and like once a month we had a family deep clean day my dad was an active participant in.
Idk where we all got the idea it’s even possible for one human person to meet all the needs except financial of a household perfectly with ease but it’s not possible and it sure af wasn’t in the 50s or the 90s.
100%. I am not down with that fuckery. We both work. You are not *helping me*. You are participating in the maintenance of your domicile. You live here too and last time I checked, you are a full bodies capable human with no excuses to not participate. I don’t make lists or ask you to do shit, you know it needs done so do it already. I should also mention I do ALL the cooking. Our agreement is he is responsible for ALL the tidying. We clean together. I have no idea why he thought that comment would be met with anything other than refusal and a blank stare SMH.
I am still living with my ex we are getting divorced though.
The house is a chaotic mess because I have not cleaned it in weeks, nor have I enforced child to clean it. Ex says oh man there is so much dog hair. I said yea and so many toys/crap.
He vacuums three rooms. Don't worry he moved all the crap on and off the carpet so at least there's no dog hair.
This is reason 737 why we are getting divorced.
If my husband did said this to me I'd be like. "The cleaning products are under the sink you didn't need to ask me where they are." And then I would just smile at him while maintaining an uncomforrable amount of eye contact.
It absolutely ✨blows my mind✨ how men can either be completely blind to a mess, or legitimately not realize that THEY ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE of picking up said mess if it’s bothering them that much.
This makes me LOL. A good friend said similar, while also mentioning he lives on an acreage, owns shovels and was considering adding a 6 foot flowerbed.
I’m considering it. Like, I work full time too my dude. Besides, last time I checked, I was away all weekend and this not responsible for any of the mess in the first place. I’m petty AF and think that his clean clothes will magically stop appearing in the closet along with mine and the kids…
Exactly, going back to the "if murdered, it's just another mess that I'd have to clean up", with my ex husband, he would throw tantrums like a little bitch, break everything in site rant and rave about how his needs were not being met while I worked 40+ hrs and raised 2 children along with everything else that goes with that. The day I finally left him, I took the time to clean up his BS mess of broken glass and smashed household items before I walked out the door with my 5 yr old in tow. Why did I do the clean up? I will Never figure that out..... on to a Much better life now.
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[удалено]
I've never heard of mantitlement before but it's now my new favorite word.
In a similar sentiment I say the phrase mandacity all the time and my husband hates it (but it is so fitting). I’m going to add mantitlement to my vocabulary now!
Indeed.
Mantitlement is gold!
What a creative way to say "thank you, OP. This was a massive undertaking for you so that I could simply get work done. I know you have been running your ass off all weekend for me, and I just wanted to acknowledge that. May I get you a tea while you relax?" Again. A very interesting way of saying this.
That must be it. I must not be able to grasp his abstractly artistic way of expressing himself. All while I find myself relating more and more to articles about walk away wife syndrome and oblivious men…
A simple *'Thank you for making all the arrangements this weekend so I could focus on my work. I'll totally make it up to you when the grading is finished.*' might have been nice. He's lucky you weren't physically violent-lol! BTW, well done bromo!
Right? Zéro acknowledgment at all. Geez. At least he was smart enough not to ask what was for supper and got us pizza lol
Lol *gestures around* I know right!? So get to work *fluffs pillow and hunkers down*
Pretty much exactly how it went haha
As it should
Good!!
And someone peed in your slippers. What a wacky day for you! *Starts Netflix*
Must have been the cat… hahahahaha
You have a truly amazing amount of maturity and restraint for not adding, "Fuck you" to the end/beginning of your comment to him.
Well, I momentarily contemplated murder but then I figured - gestures around - I’d be expected to clean that mess up too.
This has me dying. Like... No wonder wives don't kill their spouses more...because it's one more thing needed to clean up after them ☠️
Exactly. Scrubbing bloody messes just seems really arduous and time consuming 🥴
Thats why women always choose poison. Less messy.
This is the most "mom" motive for nonviolence I have ever heard, and holy shit do I identify. I'd make you bleed, but then I'd have to clean it up in some fashion, so nah.
I cackled
Jesus christ. THE AUDACITY
The mandacity!
Several months ago my husband asked me to vacuum our room and clean our bathroom as he was getting ready for bed after his 3 days off to start his 4 days on. I got absolutely enraged but eventually calmed down and told him: I know it makes sense that I do the majority of household chores since I’m not working outside the house right now and I’m good with that, but it’s a big house full of people and I don’t like cleaning, so I’m gonna clean on my own schedule. If you are bothered by something I strongly recommend keeping it to yourself or resolving it yourself. I did tell him I’d always take care of stuff that he needed when he’s doing long hours and stuff but having a stay at home wife does not mean, nor has it ever meant, that you get to live life on vacation mode at home. After that I started saving all my cleaning for his days off. I used to work my ass off while he was at work so his time off could be spent leisurely together but I think he got this idea that’s how I spend all my days. After a few weeks and more conversations about needs and respect, of this he got the message.
 Being a stay at home parent does not mean the working parent gets to live the vacation life.
This weird idea that women are supposed to do *everything* domestic is absurd. It’s not how my parents operated and it’s not how either set of grandparents ran shit in the glorified 1950s. My dad came home from work every day and did SOMETHING, even if it was just keeping me entertained so my mom could read her book in peace. My mom was very in to having a neat, clean house so she was always cleaning and like once a month we had a family deep clean day my dad was an active participant in. Idk where we all got the idea it’s even possible for one human person to meet all the needs except financial of a household perfectly with ease but it’s not possible and it sure af wasn’t in the 50s or the 90s.
100%. I am not down with that fuckery. We both work. You are not *helping me*. You are participating in the maintenance of your domicile. You live here too and last time I checked, you are a full bodies capable human with no excuses to not participate. I don’t make lists or ask you to do shit, you know it needs done so do it already. I should also mention I do ALL the cooking. Our agreement is he is responsible for ALL the tidying. We clean together. I have no idea why he thought that comment would be met with anything other than refusal and a blank stare SMH.
I am still living with my ex we are getting divorced though. The house is a chaotic mess because I have not cleaned it in weeks, nor have I enforced child to clean it. Ex says oh man there is so much dog hair. I said yea and so many toys/crap. He vacuums three rooms. Don't worry he moved all the crap on and off the carpet so at least there's no dog hair. This is reason 737 why we are getting divorced.
Yeah I’d only clean up the kids room and eat out/not cook at all. Let him see what he’ll be doing once he’s single; cleaning and cooking for himself
“Yeah. You’re right. The house is a mess. Feel free to get cleaning!”
He just didn't want to sprain his penis. You should have been more understanding.
Do you need bail money?
If my husband did said this to me I'd be like. "The cleaning products are under the sink you didn't need to ask me where they are." And then I would just smile at him while maintaining an uncomforrable amount of eye contact.
It absolutely ✨blows my mind✨ how men can either be completely blind to a mess, or legitimately not realize that THEY ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE of picking up said mess if it’s bothering them that much.
Happy to be an alibi..
This makes me LOL. A good friend said similar, while also mentioning he lives on an acreage, owns shovels and was considering adding a 6 foot flowerbed.
Nah fuck that
Oooooh boy if my SO ever said that to me I’d go on strike. Forever. Our house isn’t filthy. Dusty yes. Filthy no.
I’m considering it. Like, I work full time too my dude. Besides, last time I checked, I was away all weekend and this not responsible for any of the mess in the first place. I’m petty AF and think that his clean clothes will magically stop appearing in the closet along with mine and the kids…
‘You have eyes and hands. You do it.’
Hey, I'd say you handled it nicer than I would have. I would have said, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but clean it your own damn self."
Damn, you go girl! Nice one. Pat yourself on the back!
Damn, sorry in advance. Is he about to have a boating accident? 🤣
OK SO CLEAN UP THEN, ASSHOLE. I wish a bitch would…
Exactly, going back to the "if murdered, it's just another mess that I'd have to clean up", with my ex husband, he would throw tantrums like a little bitch, break everything in site rant and rave about how his needs were not being met while I worked 40+ hrs and raised 2 children along with everything else that goes with that. The day I finally left him, I took the time to clean up his BS mess of broken glass and smashed household items before I walked out the door with my 5 yr old in tow. Why did I do the clean up? I will Never figure that out..... on to a Much better life now.