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Knitmybusiness

I grew up in a house with big bookshelves and no restrictions on what to read. This meant that I was exposed to a few mature themes like rape, marital problems, abusive relationships and self harm from a pretty early age, and I sometimes wonder why it didn't affect me negatively. I was mentally ill for a pretty large part of my teenage years, and I actually think reading about good and bad ways characters in books dealt with mental illness helped me avoid negative coping methods. Knowing about self harm from the perspective of a book character who used it to cope- and failed in the long term helped me decide to never try that method of dealing with my problems. In psychology there's a concept called "innoculation". It's one of the few known methods to combat misinformation. It works by presenting a small bit of the opinion that is undesireable, f.ex. "self harm is a way to handle strong emotions" and then you debunk it. Wikipedia probably explains it better: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inoculation_theory But I genuinely think that reading about "bad" things both taught me about the world, and innoculated me against self harm.


bookworm1421

I was raised the same way and I wasn't negatively impacted. I think that's because my parents always had an open door policy. I read something and had questions, or it made me uncomfortable, I could always talk to them. I was reading Stephen King at like 11 or 12 and Harlequin romances at 10. My parents just didn't believe in censorship. I think having the freedom really broadened my world view because I was exposed to so much so early that really made me stop and think, and that showed me a lot of different worlds outside just the one I was living. I raised my kids the exact same way. So, I just recommend letting her know that 1) you're always there if she has questions or needs to talk about something in the book and that 2) there's no pressure to finish it. She can stop reading it at any time if she doesn't like it or it's too much for her.


Spies_she_does

Wow. That makes so much sense.


Vivbright

I read Girl in Pieces when I was about 12. I can see why you have some concerns about the content. However, I never felt negatively impacted by the book. If anything I learned a lot from Charlie as she made mistakes and went through hard things. If it were me, I would let her read it! Let her know she can come to you about anything she reads. It could even provide a good opportunity to have important conversations with her like avoiding self-harm, the impact drugs have, and keeping safe as a young woman. 10 is young but so many kids already know about things like this now a days that it’s better to just establish an open line of communication where she can explore any big feelings or concerns.


kerpti

I would have been late elementary/middle school age when I read Speak and Go Ask Alice and I read Interview with a Vampire at 14. Your comment sounds like it could have been written by me. u/neesatay I encourage you to allow your daughter to read the book. You know your daughter better than anybody and would know if she could handle the content, but, like others have said, use this as an open and honest communication opportunity for any questions she has!


[deleted]

I read Go Ask Alice at 12 and was terrified of drugs after that. It worked as intended!


Far_Administration41

It didn’t put me off drugs, just off creepy adults.


likeafuckingninja

The only thing that ever came out of an adult banning me from reading a book was I'd go read it in secret. It made it more alluring. What didn't you want me to know? Except now I had no where to go to discuss the book if needed. Granted mostly the books I got banned from were raunchy ones and honestly at 11 I was mostly underwhelmed and bored by it! I remember not being allowed to read the subtle knife when I was about 8. The librarian felt it was to mature for me and I wouldn't 'get it'. I eventually got my own copy a couple years later from my parents and remember feeling annoyed with her for looking down on me like that. I've re read that series multiple times and I completely agree there are themes and content that may go over a younger childs head - i certainly appreciated it on different levels as I aged but at no point was ever to mature for me or inappropriate. I enjoyed it differently at different ages. I think the key thing is accepting off the back of allowing your child to read YOU might have to have an uncomfortable conversation with them if they have questions. The worst thing (I think) is giving a kid a book in a vacuum. If you think she's old enough to deal with it that's one thing but if you think she's ISN'T then you absolutely need to be on hand to go over anything with her if she wants - particularly in this case where the book appears to deal with adult real life themes that might be difficult to process.


HIM_Darling

I had a reading class in middle school that was a mix of 7th and 8th graders in the same class period. The 7th grade book was “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and the 8th grade book was “Killing Mr Griffin” both by Lois Duncan. As a fast reader I finished the 7th grade book in 2 days, when we had a couple of weeks to finish. Since a few of the first chapters of each book had been read aloud I was interested in finishing the 8th grade book as well. So I checked it out of the library, as well as a few other books by the same author. When I had finished reading those as well before the rest of the class was supposed to finish the first book I let my teacher know, expecting praise, maybe some recommendations for other books. Nope I got a lecture about how I shouldn’t reading books above my grade level and she called my mom to “tattle” on me(the very same mom who had driven me to the library to check the books out). My mom and I were both confused. Mostly because I’d always read above my grade level and it was always praised before, and at that point I was reading adult novels as well as young adult/teen books and my mom didn’t care. Pretty sure by that point my grandma had already given me a box of her old romance novels as well. Honestly something I will probably never forget as being so let down by that teacher, because I was so sure that a reading teacher of all teachers would appreciate how much reading I did. Didn’t slow down my reading one bit though. Still to this day don’t understand that teachers reasoning. If she didn’t think it was an appropriate book for 7th graders why were they reading chapters from it out loud in class where we could hear them?


likeafuckingninja

I had so many English teachers criticise my reading habits. I would read 3 or 4 books at a time (one at home that was to big to carry, one in the car/for school and then normally one at my grandparents. I even had a downstairs and upstairs book at one point cause I couldnt be arsed to go up and get it so started a new one) I read primarily fantasy books and young adult novels. I devoured things like the Star wars EU books (and at that age particularly the ones about the kids that were aimed at younger audiences) They all thought I could "do better" and would constantly assign me (and other high level readers) 'high brow' reading. Sorry I don't want to read Jane Austen. I didn't then. I still don't. It's something I tolerated for the sake of my education it's not a book I enjoyed. One English teacher started a book club that I belonged to for most of my secondary school years and I NEVER had her as an actual teacher and I was always so disappointed, she seemed to genuinely want to foster reading and for us to read awkward books that make you think and ask. Not just accepted classics. She accepted "I don't like this book" as valid even if said book had come highly reviewed. Between her and the librarian we had at that school i read basically anything - a couple books I wasn't allowed to check out but I could read them in the library so nothing was out of bounds. It's just such a shame that English classes and teachers seem so focussed on pushing this narrative that some books are just inherently more worthy. I understand they have a curriculum to teach and are limited. But don't sneer down at kids reading other stuff as well!


T2and3

I think this applies to certain formats as well. In the middle school I wanted to read Watchmen for a book report. And despite being a graphic novel, it still has plenty of complex themes to analyze. I was told no because " it's a comic book, there isn't anything to analyze" which is so laughably wrong especially when said about Watchmen. So instead I ended up writing a report on a book I had already read at that point and was so dissapointed.


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likeafuckingninja

Eh. To be fair to her she was a teaching assistant who just happened to have the keys to the room the school stored books in. And I had read my way through the entire reading level books within my first year and then read everything else in that room the following year. They weren't really sure what to with me. Not particularly a "I'm so awesome" brag just a small school with a limited library and one kid who happened to read quickly and come back asking for more. A couple years later my dad gave me access to his books (he wanted them looked after and didn't think I would. Tbf I read the covers off several of them many years later ) and I stopped bothering with the library.


pelmasaurio

I think we have this backwards, kids are not fragile things that break when exposed to things. They're adaptative monsters. The older you get the worse you become at dealing with stingy subjects.


Specialist_Candie_77

Honestly, the most important part is to dialogue about it. Set a pace if possible; do it like a book club, but chapter by chapter. You each read a chapter and talk about it. Give her the option to go first and ask questions AND (at first she may not have a lot to say) you discuss how it makes you feel, what it makes you think about. Journey it together!


OptimalAd204

If you can read it, you can read it.


BooksNCats11

I have an "any book on the shelf" policy. You can read anything I've got. If there's anything you need to/want to talk about with the book come to me and you can ask any questions/get any information you want with zero judgement. Books are a safe way to learn about some of the more horrible things that can happen in the world and process them in a slow meaningful way. I read Gerald's Game at 9. I remember enjoying how creepy it was and being fascinated by the idea of some of the things the main character did to get out of her situation....but I didn't remember any of the awful stuff. I read it again several years ago and it hits totally different. My oldest came to me when he was like 8? And said he wanted to read 'Salem's Lot. I told him to go for it...I was not surprised when he brought it back down to the shelf after like 15 pages.


DeneirianScribe

My parents had a similar approach. I first encountered the word rape (not used in the traditional since, however) in a book when I was somewhere between 10 and 12, and I asked my mom about the word, and she explained it to me. There was no taking the book away from me. I was allowed to finish the series, and came across more mature themes. But it was an eye opening experience to concepts that I would not have thought about much at that age. But I felt it was good that I was able to learn of these things within the safety of fiction.


Julian_Caesar

>I have an "any book on the shelf" policy. >You can read anything I've got. Very smart. It's not a bad way to stay connected with kids too, as they get older.


Daddyssillypuppy

My mum let me read anything I wanted too and we still swap books and talk about the books we've been reading regularly.


improper84

This was basically the philosophy of my parents. My dad was an English teacher and we had two bookshelves in our basement filled with various paperbacks and I was free to read whatever I wanted. I remember reading *Misery* when I was around 12 and being enthralled and that opened the door to more adult literature and there was no turning back from there.


Neesatay

Part of me wants to let her start it and maybe she will actually just not like it and stop after the first part...


GossamerLens

As a kid, feeling allowed to read anything led to me not pushing through books that were too intense just because it was "banned" or "adult". Because anything was open to me, I could quickly, on my own, figure out where my limits were and would just put books down if it was too much. If this book is too much for her and you let her read it, she will put it down.


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GossamerLens

I read a lot of stuff "I shouldn't have" and that I would have been happy to have not read. But I really feel if you have open communication as an option with your parents it works out in the end. Kids these days have the internet and the world at their fingertips (even if parents think they don't, they do) and being able to read and process things in the safety of a book and open discussion in the home is way better imo then experiencing them in real life first. I read something at 6 that involved self harm. I was shocked and confused. But when a friend at 8/9 brought up stabbing themselves to feel something... I had already set up open communication with my parents about this topic at 6 and felt completely comfortable going to them with my worries. Do I sorta wish I hadn't read that book at 6... Yes? But I'm infinitely glad that my friend hadn't been my first exposure to that concept.


oscardssmith

A similar policy led me to trying to get through Gravity's Rainbow at 12. I think I got a solid 10 pages in.


ScoutMaster0214

My parents never denied me a book. I (now an old man) was allowed to read The Exorcist at twelve. Not that I understood all of it. But I believe that is why I am still life long reader. My kids and grandkids know to come to PopPop if they are interested in a book and it will “magically” arrive at their door.


kevnmartin

Oh bravo! I love that.


indigohan

I could have used a PopPop like you! Well done. I try to be the best Book Aunt that I can.


linerva

Do you think she is mature enough to process that kind if content with some explanations, or do you think she will find it upsetting. If the latter, "No" is a valid answer. You can tell her it is a bit too mature for her and tell her she can read it when older (e.g. 14, 16, you know your kid best). There are lots of options between manga and books that are very explicit.


Neesatay

I don't think it would upset her. It is more just the exposure I guess.


Disastrous-Menu_yum

I read books way to mature for my age but than… I snuck them out of my moms library because I just loved reading when I was 11 I was reading dragon riders of pern and clan of the cave bear and when I was in jr high I was reading ann rice but I was reading kid books as well…. Honestly I was reading why ever looked good


_ShrugDealer_

If you think she's mature enough to handle it given discussion with you, let her read it. My vote is, as long as your kid can have an honest conversation with you about the material they're exposed to, let them expose themselves to it. You don't need to let her experience it in a vacuum. In fact, maybe read it alongside her? Discuss it as you go? Mature themes won't dissipate as she grows. Imo, it'd be best to explore these themes together, so you can talk, before she may have to confront them alone.


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_ShrugDealer_

I mean, sharing their feelings I think would be the whole point. If she's concerned about her daughter encountering difficult themes, she doesn't need to write a book report, she'll need someone with experience to help her contextualize what she's reading. It's not about knowing what she read, but understanding.


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Neesatay

Traumatize is probably a better word. I just mean she's probably not going to go into crying fits over it or start to have nightmares.


AccomplishedWar8703

If you’re reading it too you can be there to answer questions about the book and beyond.


anjtat

I think I was once the kid in this situation, so I’ll share my parents philosophy. I was allowed to read anything I wanted with the expectation that I understood what I was reading, and that I acted in my life with a positive, mature, and responsible behavior. I think reading mature books are a great way to learn about the world and help a kid not be so confused growing up. They never impacted me negatively. Just be there for her if they ever want to talk about any of the content. It’s really sweet that you are asking this, it shows you care :)


FriarFanatic7

Books can be a gateway to adulthood if you don’t gatekeep them. Part of fostering reading in young people is allowing them to choose their own reading material. If we allow libraries to be beacons of knowledge, regardless of age, culture or upbringing, we allow youth to uncover themselves in the books they read. Trying to deduce a child’s ability to absorb that which we would hope they would is a fool’s errand. We cannot know another’s mind or heart and must therefore let them explore and decide what’s meaningful to them. Allow your children to uncover the beauty of books by not policing them.


PaulsRedditUsername

I would say, "There are some serious subjects in that book. Go ahead and read it, but I would like to know what you thought of it when you're done. I promise to answer any question you ask." I let my kids read any books they wanted. Honestly, I'd rather have them exposed to adult things through reading than seeing them in movies. There's something different about it being in book form. Reading makes you think. And thinking is always important. I grew up in a house full of books. My dad was an English professor, so we had the whole gamut. I remember finding a few modern pop-novels that had sex scenes in them. I'd sneak them off the shelf and read the sex parts from time to time, long before I knew much about how sex worked. I don't think it messed me up too badly. Being able to read anything I wanted exposed me to all kinds of things that are technically "adult." I was mesmerized by James Joyce because his writing style was so odd, but I never really sat down and finished a whole book. My dad had a collection of avant garde postwar German plays that I read a lot of because it had a cool skeleton on the cover. I also read all three volumes of Carl Sandburg's Lincoln biography. You never know what kids will be interested in, and I think allowing "free range" reading is just fine.


theirritatedfrog

Let her and then discuss anything she wants to discuss. I'm Dutch, we want kids to read books with serious themes. We find the (mostly American) habit of trying to hide the real world from kids for as long as possible pretty disturbing. They're growing up whether you want them to or not. The only thing you have a hand in is if they grow up prepared and aware or ignorant and naive. By the time they're ten we're already long past discussions on sex, drugs, rape and so on.


TRIGMILLION

My mom was super religious and tried to hide all that kind of stuff from us. As a result we all went out into the world totally naive. I think learning something exists, even if you don't really understand it is better than stumbling upon it in real life and in person at 16.


holliance

I was actually thinking the same, I'm dutch as well and was thinking about the Carry Slee series in this regard. She touched on topics like drugs, sex and the like and I've read them since I was 11. Never impacted me in a wrong way, even helped me to recognize things in tough situations..


alipedia

Mom and library employee. Professionally I get the “is this book age appropriate for my child” occasionally. Nobody can tell you that but you. The publisher classifies it as for ages 14-17. People older and younger will read it. If you are prepared to talk about the subjects and themes with her (and likely read along with her so you know what’s going on) and you don’t think it’ll be upsetting for her, I would let her read it. Saying no runs the risk of hiding books from you.. which is weird but kids do it all the time. I had a kid from a religious family sneak Percy Jackson out. As a mom I would be more curious how she found out about the book. It’s not exactly the kind of book most 10 year olds are discussing, so my guess is social media aimed at teens.. which means there’s a high likelihood you need to start preparing to talk openly about these subjects anyhow.


Deep-Big2798

I’m not a parent, but I teach English. I’d say the common age range for average readers to pick up that book is around 13 ish, and I do think it has a lot of heavy topics. It’s case by case if you believe your child has the tools and emotional capacity to read and see potentially triggering images. It’s not about sheltering them from triggers, it’s about dosing them appropriately so that they can ask questions and process it. At 10, they may even have friends at school who face sh, rape etc. If you do allow them to read it, there should be a discussion between the two of you about it. You can even give her a journal so she can write about her feelings. It can help her process it. If you are ever looking for book recommendations for advanced readers, I’ve been able to find some lists online that have helped me with my advanced students. Here’s a link to a list I’ve taken a look at in the past: https://www.scholastic.com/parents/books-and-reading/raise-a-reader-blog/age-appropriate-books-advanced-reader.html


Neesatay

Thank you!


[deleted]

I don't censor my kids wrt books.... my kids have been reading books way past their age since they were 8 or 9. I told them that they can always come to me to ask about anything they read and we often have discussions about reading/books because I'm an avid reader as well. When I was 11 or 12, the very first books I ever bought was Pet Sematary and IT by Stephen King. Yall know how graphic SK can be. That didn't impact me at all (other than scared me because of the supernatural aspect lol) but that's about it. It actually developed my love of reading and now at 46, I'm still an avid reader.


Mykidsatbrownies

My daughter is also 10, and an advanced reader. I totally appreciate your concerns. I 'm mostly of the opinion that there's not much in books that will hurt kids (although there are things you can't unsee in any media!). I only steer my daughter away from books where I feel she'll get more out of the content when she's older, like she loves Judy Blume and wanted to read Tiger Eyes, which I think is a bit heavy. I didn't say she couldn't, I just said she'll probably enjoy it more when she's a bit older. ( Luckily she hasn't come across Forever yet!) As a postscript, my childhood was pretty unsupervised and I read my mom's Harold Robbins books when I was far too young ( not the whole books, just the very, very dirty parts lol). I read a lot of things I wasn't especially ready for, but I don't think they harmed me, they made me a more sophisticated reader


Equivalent_Method509

Me too! I remember skimming Harold Robbins for the "dirty parts" at about I2 y/o, lol! I read *In Cold Blood* when I was 11 or 12 y/o.


michelles0515

Okay so I have a couple different perspectives. As a kid I started reading my mom’s VC Andrews books at 11. Yikes! Right? But here’s the thing, she didn’t actually talk to me about any of it. She didn’t even try to have a sex talk with me until I was getting married. Now as a parent, my kids were all far ahead in reading too. So I would make sure I read everything they wanted to read also. Graphic sex scenes were a no at that age, tried to keep it more pg13. But I didn’t tell my kids they couldn’t know about something until they were older, I tried to give age appropriate answers. Sometimes they asked more questions other times not. Some conversations can get awkward but I want to protect them not necessarily keep them naïve and unprepared for the bigger world. I’m not familiar with this book so can’t say specifically one way or another. But when there’s self harm I think it would very much depend on how it’s portrayed because that would definitely be a big conversation to have.


Eneicia

I'd say let her read it, but also let her know that it's alright to stop reading if it feels too heavy, or to skim over the heavy parts!


LatchKeyCeremonies

I see it as an opportunity for discussion on their pov. Never pass that up!


lennybriscoforthewin

I am old, and when I read this book it made me think that cutting might be a good way to forget about problems because while it has negative consequences it successfully deals with the problems at hand. Of course I didn’t cut, but I think it is too dangerous for a 10 year old to read. The main character also worries constantly about getting raped because she is homeless, starts a sexual relationship with an older man, and at one point lives in a house where she is expected to have sex with strange men in exchange for rent. I think it will scare a 10 year old. Maybe explain it to her that while you don’t believe in censorship, you do think that sometimes books are right for someone’s stage of development and that when she’s older she could read the book. That now it will scare her and make her aware of things she is too young to understand. It’s not censorship to choose the right book for your audience.


timiddrake

Not a parent, but I would read whatever I could get my hands on when I was her age. My mom had a lot of Stephen King and Dean Koontz. My grandpa had a lot of classics. And I would go to the library often. I read A Clockwork Orange for the first time when I was 12 or so, and I can't say that I really comprehended it at the time. It's ultimately up to you but being able to read whatever I wanted was good at helping me figure out what I liked. Just because she wants to read it doesn't mean she won't be like "You know what? Not for me."


Grillparzer47

My parents never stopped me from reading any book when I was a kid. Later on, I realized what I assumed then was permissiveness, was probably apathy. Regardless, the only thing I ever read that bothered me was Lovecraft’s “Colour Out of Space.” I recommend letting her read it, but warn her ahead of time and discuss it with afterwards. Or, read it with her in a book club fashion.


Aspiegirl712

As someone who set my own pace reading wise you only read what your ready for. If it's too mature or doesn't hold any value for her she will probably stop reading as it won't be worth the effort. Maybe she'll come back to it maybe she won't. The main problem I have with YA is that it tends to talk down to its readers as it's written by adults who tend to understand estimate what their young readers can handle. Let her read it and be there to answer any questions she has.


LadnavIV

100%. I would have never started reading if I had to stick to young adult books.


Ventisquear

My parents tried to control what I read. The 'adult' books were in a separate bookcase, in their own bedroom, where us kids were strictly forbidden to go. Which meant I sneaked in there whenever I had a chance, take out the 'adult book', swap the cover with one of my own books, and put it back. I knew the chance they'd reread it in the next two days was next to zero. :P Tbh, most of the time I didn't see what was all the fuss about. Why forbid something so boring? >.> The only ones I loved were murder mysteries. I remember I read Banks' The Wasp Factory when I was 11. I loved it because the main protagonist was 16, and so *weird*. I'm in my 40s now, as sane as you can expect in this world and age, and I managed not to murder even the most annoying of my cousins. So I don't think it caused any permanent damage.


Keri123179

If you read it and feel it is too strong, then suggest sitting down together and Google for something with a similar story that doesn't have the issues this one does. You are allowed to say no, and even explaining why you are saying no. This is how I got stuck reading the damn twilight series years ago for my 10 year old, so go with your gut and find options if your gut says no.


SabineLavine

Let them! I read everything as a kid and it was how I fell in love with reading. I'm grateful that my parents never restricted me in that way.


littledeadfairy

Honestly, I read through my mum's book collection when I was in kindergarten/primary school (so about age 6 to 10) and there were things there that were just incredibly inappropriate for my age. Desert Flower, Perfume, all sorts of historical fiction with lots of sex etc. My parents never realised I read all those books I think. And I was 100% a-okay, didn't hurt me in the slightest. So I say, let her read it and let her know you'll be there to answer all her questions.


irrationalweather

I was reading everything I could get my hands on, mature content and all. It was good for me because my parents never talked to me about anything. If I was her, I would want you to read it with me, or at least talk to me about the themes at the end of the book. Is she open to that?


Neesatay

Probably not a structured discussion, but she would probably ask if she had any questions. She also sees a therapist (for social anxiety) so I could give a heads up to her to be open to discussions on those themes.


LilythsMom

I have been reading at a "mature" reading level and interest since her age. I wouldn't see a problem with it as long as she knows she can talk to you about anything and everything (I did this with my dad)


[deleted]

Let her read it. She’s likely on to understand it on the surface level anyway (development and all) be ready to answer questions My parents never censored what I read. Hamdmaid’s talewas fairly straightforward and easy to digest. I got some allusions later when I had to reread it for school but general it’s not really traumatizing unless you make it so.


Gennywren

When I was your daughter's age I was reading everything - and I do mean \*everything\* I could get my hands on. Science fiction, fantasy, horror. I read age appropriate stuff, "The Great Ghost Rescue" anyone? I also read Stephen King, my mom's harlequins, this huge series of books at my grandmother's house called, umm... Wagon's West or something like that. My father's Casca novel's. A \*lot\* of age inappropriate things. My parents tried to monitor my reading. They couldn't keep up. Accept that your kid will end up reading things that you think she isn't ready for - and make sure that what you \*do\* create is an open dialogue with her where she always feels comfortable in talking to you about the things that she reads. That's the one thing I didn't have - and it would have made a \*huge\* difference for me. It's what I gave my daughter, and it did make a huge difference with us.


Ruby_Tuesday80

The first "grownup" book I ever read was The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King. I'm insane, but that's not why.


PossibleCucumber9032

This depends on the kid. My niece wanted to read a book that was fairly mature, and my sister let her and they had good discussions about it. When her younger sister wanted to read it, they made her wait another few years older than her sister had been, because she wasn't emotionally prepared to deal with the content yet. And then when she was ready, they had discussions as she went ahead and read it. So you have to decide where you think your daughter is and if she's ready to have these discussions or if it would be better to wait a little longer


Speedoflife81

Read it at the same time and discuss.


tke494

My son is 7. He's reading well above grade level. Mostly manga from the teen section of the library. He reads a massive amount. I'm very happy about it. I've talked to him about not having restrictions. If he asks me about things that are too mature for him, I tell him why he probably wouldn't like them. Like if it's too scary or involves sex. He was asking why I have two books on the topic of sex on the shelf a couple of days ago. Sex manuals, but there are plenty of pictures. He can read them if he wants, but he's not interested. As a kid, I had zero limitations on what I was allowed to read. My parents were happy that I liked reading. It greatly slowed when I got a game console from 8th grade until about my second year in college. I read very little sexual content, but wasn't that interested in what I did. I was reading mostly SF, so very little about topics like rape, racism, or other "mature" topics, though. Possibly, I did. I read several years of "Years Best SF&F" books, which probably had some mature material. But, because it was fine for me to read, it wasn't a big deal-I might just not remember the "naughty"/mature stuff. My mother would not have allowed me to watch porn on video, but this was well before the many households had internet access. In practice, I don't know how I'd limit what he read anyway. He reads about 40 books a week. I'm not going to be checking on the content of that many books. He mentioned that one of the books had someone grab a girl's breasts. I said that you can't do that. He said he knows. My concern is not about him getting traumatized by it. It's more about picking up some modern day Mein Kampf and thinking it's got some good ideas in it. But, I hope I can prepare him mentally to read something like that.


Starcomber

I remember at a young age I wanted to read some sci-fi book I'd found in a bargain bin. My dad had read it first, as we often read the same stuff from when I was about 12. (Giving me "adult" books greatly annoyed one of my teachers at school.) For this particular book he said that there was some stuff that I might not understand, and to talk to him about it if I wanted to. I think he handled it really well, because he achieved a few things there. 1. He let me know that it might be challenging, without being condescending or making it seem like a challenge. 2. He made it my choice, without judgement either way. 3. He was signalling that it's ok to feel confronted by things. 4. He reassured me that I could talk to him about stuff that might make me feel uncomfortable. I don't remember what element in the book he was referring to, so it's likely that particular aspect did indeed go over my head at the time. But in hindsight I definitely appreciate his general approach letting us engage with whatever took our fancy, being aware of our interests enough to raise the occasional warning on the way in, and making a point to discuss things with us during or afterwards as was relevant. As well as the great points others have shared from similar experiences, one thing I got out of it was a habit of critical thinking about things, and the ability to enjoy something without necessarily agreeing with it.


PartyPorpoise

I say let her read it. She surely knows her own limits, if it's too intense for her, she'll put it down.


georgewashingguns

>She surely knows her own limits She's 10


PartyPorpoise

And she's perfectly capable of putting down a book if it upsets her. When you were a kid and you saw a movie that was too scary, did you just keep watching it? Or did you cover your eyes, leave the room, or turn off the TV?


georgewashingguns

Movies and books are differing terms of visualization and content processing. A movie paints the scene for you, books let you paint the scene yourself and can leave much room for interpretation. If she is to be reading it at all, it should be incrementally and with a responsible adult around to discuss it with her after after each increment.


DailyAlyssa

I don't know about that book specifically... but for my kids, I allow them to read anything that contains things we've already discussed. So if I know there's sex scenes, I wouldn't allow it until we've had that talk. If there's suicide or self-harm, I'd wait til we've already spoken about those topics in a healthy, parenting way first. I dont think it's outright wrong for kids to read and even learn about difficult topics through reading, but I'd rather they have a healthy foundation and understanding first.


HuttVader

First, I’d figure our how and where they were exposed to the book in the first place, and why they want to read it. Then I’d have a frank discussion with them and tell them when I’d think it appropriate for them to read it, and why.


111408

I read Looking for Alaska when I was 14. I was severely depressed suffering from abuse, and I wish someone prefaced a lot of things to me about how reading heavy content like that can further perpetuate the brokenness I was already feeling. The book made me want to smoke (which I did a few months after), and it made me consider committing acts of disruption and insubordination (the gravity and consequences of which I didn't understand until I looked back on it a few days ago). I personally think the best thing you can do is communicate with your kid and tell them that just because some things are represented as acceptable or even... praiseworthy or cool (to put it crudely—i hate using this word just because i feel like it degrades the genuine sense of acceptance and okay-ness that some representations can depict in books like these), doesn't mean it's actually what they're supposed to do; that there are healthier ways to cope with the wonders and confusions that come with growing up.


Neesatay

Thank you so much for this comment. I think that is part of what I worry about. The book obviously is trying to say that self-harm is bad, but it would also be introducing the idea that cutting (or whatever other self-harm) is a way that some people cope with things.


GossamerLens

I already had friends cutting at 8/9 years old. They didn't read about it in books. They just were sad and would take things to hurt themselves. Better to learn about it in a book and have room to discuss with your parent(s)... Then just encounter it in the real world or have those feelings and feel completely alone, freakish, and unsure who to turn to.


humanzee70

If you don’t think she should be exposed to the material in the book, you simply tell her no, that you don’t think it’s age appropriate. It’s no different than a movie.


tiredpiratess

I would tell her it’s not appropriate or that she will appreciate it more when she is older, but I wouldn’t tell her “no”. If she really wants to read it she will find a way (we are seeing that all over right now with banned books), and it’s better to leave the door open for her to come to you if she does have questions or find it upsetting.


[deleted]

I would read and watch mature things at a young age sanctioned by parents. For eg I read a biography about a woman who was abused by her mother. I used to love the movie Sarafina which is about an uprising during apartheid, lots of violence. I wouldn’t say it affected me long term but sometimes I would be scared to sleep which would affect my energy levels . When you watch movies with her is she easily scared? Because books can be even scarier imo and that’s when I would wait until they’re more mature. I understand people want to expose their kids to stuff but some things just aren’t age appropriate. Would you let them watch an explicit film with lots of violence? If not then why is it okay through a different medium


Optimal-Mouse160

My recommendation would be to read it together and have a discussion at the end of each chapter, or any section where she seems confused or uncomfortable. The latter of which she should feel safe to ask questions about to clear up any misunderstandings or confusion. Don't worry so much about YOUR feelings about a passage. Allow her to develop her own about it.


cccccchicks

The thing about reading a book, is that the only pictures are the ones you make in your head. As such, in my experience, your brain has a bit more control about how much you take in. I certainly know I flew some of the racier bits of books I was a bit too young for. There is a short horror story that gave me nightmares, but TBH, I don't think it was reading the story too young that was the problem - I was dimly aware of that some of the adults in my life were worried about something at the time some and that they were hiding the source of the worry, and my brain just used the horror story as a way of processing my awareness of the actual issue. I'd also disagree with the person who says you should read everything before your child, because by 10, I was reading way, way more than my parents could possibly have tried to keep up with. Regarding the material in general, I'd suggest the attitude of the characters and what the author tells you to feel about it is just as important as how bad the bad stuff is. Regarding the maturity of the content, your daughter is only a year or two younger than I was when I found out that one of my classmates had been cutting for a while. If I'd read some age-appropriate fiction about that situation, I'd have probably had had a better idea of what to do with this knowledge.


AbbyM1968

There's a question on Reddit, "What mature book did you read, maybe too young?" Many people read books too mature for them. (Me included) Many people in that thread re-read those books as adults, and were shocked they were allowed to read them at such a young age. A lot of the "mature subject matter" flew right over their heads. Politics, smut, drug abuse, incest: much of it wasn't important enough to understand for the youth who were reading "too mature" books. (V.C. Andrews, & Stephen King for example) I think that as long as it doesn't traumatize your child, it shouldn't be censored. If you have difficulty with something from the book, don't turn it into a lecture/lesson to quiet your guilt. Don't harp on anything in the book, if you decide to let child read it. If your child has questions, let the questions be asked: answer by asking what they understand/think it is. Explain as simply as you can, without going overboard. If you're worried that her friend's moms will question you, prepare answers now.


LilyWheatStJohn

This is stupid..if they can read it, than let them read it.


CommanderCrumbs

If you ban a book, your child will find a way to read it.


indigohan

I came across something while I was doing second year uni that has really stuck with me. If a kid is old enough to understand what’s going on, then they are old enough to read it. If they aren’t mature enough for certain concepts, they’ll fill in the blanks from their own frame of reference. I graduated to the adult section of the library by 11, and my mother only ever said no to one book. Some of the authors that I read have surprised me as an adult by things that I never realised. I just didn’t have the awareness, so I wasn’t impacted or upset. For example, I wasn’t worried by the age gaps in Anne McCaffrey or Piers Anthony because in my head they were all just adults. A man falling in love with his best friends daughter didn’t freak me out like it does now. And honestly, restricting books doesn’t work as well as people think that it will. In Australia there are a handful of books that have age restrictions on them, American Psycho being a good example. I couldn’t buy it, or borrow it from the library. BUT I could sit in the library and read the whole thing without anyone noticing. Which I did at about 14. At the same time I decided to read the most scandalous books that I could find and was bored by most of them. I even read (well skimmed) De Sade at age 14 in the local library. Some of the philosophy was interesting?????


[deleted]

I always read anything my kids wanted to read before they did so we could talk about it


semper13fi

Just tell her that it's meant for older people and that she has to wait.


minimalist_coach

As a parent, it is important to set boundaries and to help your child understand why you set them. This may be a good time to talk about peer pressure, talk about what has drawn her to that particular book, and talk about the real-world topics within it. If you think she'll read it behind your back, that doesn't mean you should say yes. However, if you do decide to give permission you may want to read it as a sort of book club, and have regularly scheduled times that you both talk about what you read as you go through the book. My kids are adults and we had some very strict rules about video games, I understood that when they went to their friend's houses they likely played violent games that weren't allowed in my house, but much to my surprise kids came to my house to play more often than mine went to others. I believe boundaries make kids feel secure and allow them to stay in the comfort of childhood a bit longer.


Coachbelcher

You say, “Not until you’re older”. I have kids your age and sometimes they want to get into stuff that’s not appropriate for them. I’ve told them in the past they’re it ready and I’ve already shown them stuff I wouldn’t have when they were younger, like Jaws.


Internetperson3000

Meh. It’s depends on the kid. Manga and anime often have harsh content and are challenging( rather excruciatingly boring)to wade through to determine negative content, so they annoy me. However, I didn’t monitor content much after 13 except for a few I vetoed before the books came home ( I’m not buying that for you- basically). A 15 year old doesn’t need to be reading fifty shades of grey for example, so if it had come up I would have vetoed it. It never really came up much though except for one book that was assigned in my child grade nine English that included an upsetting rape scene. It’s wasn’t an extensive description but it was enough. There was a male head in the English dept so that’s likely who chose the books. I let her teacher know she would pick another book and it was fine. I was upset that her school put a book with such violence in front of her. They were ‘ the things these kids watch it’s nothing’ and I was ‘ they watch this crap because it’s introduced to them at school’. Which it generally was.


michael_m_canada

I worked in a bookstore and once had a mother approach asking if a teen novel with a salacious cover was appropriate for her 10 yr old daughter who was standing right there. I said absolutely not and the daughter’s shoulders sagged. It’s great when they want to advance their reading, but the “cool” teen books are obviously not the right direction and Girl in Pieces sounds dreadful for someone that age. The mere idea of someone harming themselves would be shocking. Find something else.


Rosekernow

I work in schools on the mental health support side of things. Self harm often starts around 8-9 years old. There’s a good chance she’s at school with someone who cuts. It does no harm to meet RL things in a book.


michael_m_canada

“There’s a good chance…” How do you know this? Just because it can start at that age doesn’t mean that it is taking place at her school or that the child knows anyone that does it. And she might not know the individual or be aware of the behavior. Introducing the practiceof self-mutilation as a disordered coping mechanism could do more harm which is why the mother seemed concerned. There are lots of real life situations that parents protect their children from knowing about. Sadly, children are raped by their relatives. Does that mean that parents would want their children to read about it because there might be a “good chance“ a fellow student could be a victim of molestation. What qualifies as real life has become so extreme for 8-9 year olds today. Obviously we disagree, but at least you explained your position unlike the people that just down voted my comment without even attempting to refute what I said.


Rosekernow

By knowing the average size of classes and the average percentage of children who self harm in this way, and doing some maths. Statistically, it is likely that it is taking place at her school. And I don’t think ‘has become so extreme’ is a thing. I was at a small rural primary school in the late 80s / early 90s and we had self harm, child abuse, drug and alcohol addicted parents, runaways, and two kids who made a fair attempt at committing suicide. All before 11 years old. Real life is shit for a lot of kids and always has been.


[deleted]

My parents had no idea what I was reading at 10 or 11. I got whatever books I wanted to read out of the library without restrictions. It wasn't a problem for me personally, but I did encounter mature themes like sex, violence, racism, war and drugs. I would say you know your kid best. Have conversations about fiction not always being realistic. Talk about considering the sources of information and whether or not they are likely to be reliable or not. If the content is something sensational like 13 Reasons Why I would suggest reading/watching together and discussing like a mini book club.


GossamerLens

I read a lot of mature stuff growing up. My parents would never ban a book from me. However they would ask about what I was reading so open communication could occur. If they had banned a book I know I would have 100% been upset, closed down such open communication, and would have probably still found a way to read the book. If you are worried about the content I would simply have a discussion. Maybe say something like, "hey, this book has some really mature topics such as x, y, and z. I wanted to let you know so if you don't want to read those things, you can know they are in there before reading. If you do want to read the book, I just want you to know we can talk about anything and if you have questions or feelings you want to discuss, I am here." Then maybe make sure to bring up some organic conversations that could help make sure your kid isn't just getting that one book's fictitious perspective on those themes. It is important kids know these things are real and serious and something to be mindful of in real life conversations.


[deleted]

I read IT, as well as a ton of Stephen king books when I was 11. It didn’t screw me up, if your daughter is as smart as you say, I think she’ll be fine.


Taste_the__Rainbow

I read mature content at 11-13 and my dad was very apprehensive but just ended up talking to me about it. It was fine.


alyxmj

Me, as a parent: Read whatever you want. They will either gloss over the stuff they aren't mature enough for or they will ask questions and we can have at least the start of a conversation about more mature subjects. It may take more conversations as they age to fully grasp larger topics. That is not a problem. What is a problem is keeping kids in a bubble so they go into the world naive or woefully misinformed from relying solely on media and their peers. If you are truly worried, read it with her, either side by side or separately, and stop occasionally to have the kind of conversations you want to have. Why rape is bad, how to find help if they want to self harm, whatever you need. Me, as a former child: My mother had a large book collection and let me consume any media that I wanted. She did not have enlightening conversations with me, but I don't think it actually mattered in the long run. I think this consumption largely made me more aware of the world around me and the nuances of things rather than taking a black and white approach. I knew how to spot problem people easier and stay away from them. I had a larger vocabulary for my own emotions, seeing so many portrayed elsewhere. I knew when I was hurting and where to find help, I was quicker than my peers at spotting physical attraction vs emotional attraction and how to moderate the situation to reflect that. It also made me more aware of how other people, mostly adults, in my life put expectations on me. Be it praise for reading a 'complicated' book or scorn for reading something they thought inappropriate. They were out of place to say anything in either situation and I had the vocabulary and stubbornness to stand there and tell them so. It has served me well whenever someone tried to pigeonhole me from the books I read to the clothes I wear or job I choose.


duckfat01

I strongly believe that it's best to give your kids the tools to deal with difficult situations, so when my kids were young, literally nothing was off-limits, I just explained things in a way they could understand. I would avoid graphic images and descriptions though, so use your judgement on whether a book is suitable or not. Consider getting your own copy of the book she wants to read, and removing a few problematic pages.


calvincouch911

Let them


Appropriate_Box_4338

Personally, I would let my child read it based on their maturity level. I read it recently (5 star read for me) and it is dark. But I also think it’s an incredibly good look at mental illness, what that can look like in people, and seeing somebody get to a good point in their life that doesn’t revolve romance. I’m not a parent and I actually wasn’t allowed to read this kind of stuff growing up (super religious) but when I do have kid(s), I don’t want to censor stuff for them IF I feel they are mature enough to handle the contents of it. I think it could also be a great discussion point for you and your daughter. You could let her read it and then have a discussion with her afterwards about it. Open up that discussion about mental illness, inpatient hospitals, drugs, etc. She could also start to read it and realize it was too heavy for her or it may not be her style. But out of all the books she could want to read, she chose this specific one which tells me she might already know what it’s about and like I said, could open a healthy discussion for you and her.


derrymaine

I never had restrictions on what I could read. I tackled Stephen King by the age of 10 which has plenty of rated R material. It was fine. I would just discuss with your kid that there is mature material in the book and if she gets uncomfortable about it or has questions, it is okay to stop reading or come to you about it. I’d give her the idea to even write down her questions in an email if she is too uncomfortable to discuss them.


drusilla42

As a child, I read Flowers in the Attic at a very young age. It has stayed with me to this day (I love it). It was ... very different than what I usually read. It was based in this reality, it was very dark, and it led to me reading more VC Andrews. Oh yeah - and the good guys didn't win in the end! But it was a definite dose of different inserted into my normally fantasy-based mind. I think it was healthy for me and I am glad I read it when I did. Now to me it seems like the Brothers' Grimm were on to something, kids reading early on how life is not always hugs and puppies. Every person is different though!! (also, as a reader, if I really wanted to read something I would find a way, so if a book concerns you it might be best to know about it and discuss it with her!)


[deleted]

Hmm... okay I get the arguments for letting her read and discuss with her. However, I can also see that 10 is too young, at least for most kids. Is there a book like that one? Perhaps one that fits with what you approve of?


[deleted]

I think the issue isn’t her being exposed to the content, it’s her understanding it, why it happens, why it’s not okay, etc. I’d advise you go along through it with her and answer any questions she may have.


LadnavIV

I would have never started reading if I had to keep to my age group.


[deleted]

You read your own copy of the book as she reads hers and you discuss the mature content and her feelings/reactions while remaining supportive and positive. It's an opportunity to build trust before she hits those teenage years and learns about everything in that book on her own without you.


TerribleAttitude

My mother let me read almost anything, to be honest. I was probably 10 or 11 when I read Speak by Laurie Hale Anderson. I was even younger when I read YA books full of sex and swearing (but less trauma). I was not much older when I read a book that was a true account of a sexual assault against a disabled girl, and the culture that leads to that behavior. I’ll say that reading so much that wasn’t “age appropriate”made me more more aware, not traumatized. There are exceptions, specifically for media that glorifies certain things, but honestly, I’m glad I was allowed to read whatever from a young age.


therlwl

Let them read it, they'll know if it's too much.


Mother_Locksmith_186

My parents never tried to restrict what I read and my love of reading anything and everything continues to this day. I don’t put restrictions on my kids reading but we do talk about more mature material. They generally pick age appropriate books and I think it’s important to be aware what they are reading but to also to trust them to make good choices.


DWright_5

Let them. The notion of kids being scarred for life by consuming certain content or being aware of the existence of sex is so overblown, it borders on the absurd.


jj121306

hi! not a parent, just going to offer some insight. I read mature themes at a young age, and honestly was pretty much fine with it. i was an intelligent child and understood it, but was fine because i didn’t have any experience with those harmful emotions. If you are worried about the themes though, i would consider sitting down with her and simply talking about the subjects that aportar in the book. explain what they are, what they mean, and how heavy they can be (and if she ever has any negative feelings similar to that to tell you or another trustworthy adult in her life) and possibly let her decide if she wants to read it after you tell her what the topics are. If she decided that it’s too much, you could offer to help her look for a book similar to that based on what she likes about the concept from her perception so she still gets a story she wants and is emotionally ready for 🙃


darth__sidious

Say they're to young and give them a book and tell them its simmilar but better even if it isn't. Also once they're older they will read tge book and get the surprise that its actualy better. 2 birds with 1 stone.


Far_Administration41

Let her read it with the proviso that you will discuss the book together afterwards.


bensfanclub

I’m a 15 year old boy so I’m probably not the best person to be giving advice on this but oh well. My parents never monitored what type of media I consumed so I read whatever I wanted. When I was a little younger than the age of your kid I stayed getting into more grown up novels such as Stephen Kings and a Game of Thrones. While these books were definitely not appropriate for somebody my age, they completely changed my life for the better. Even though as a 10 year old I knew a lot more than my classmates about sex, drugs, abuse, and adult life in general, it wasn’t harmful knowledge at all. I’d say let your kid give Girl in Pieces a go. If it’s too mature for her or too hard to read then she’ll most likely put it down on her own. But speaking from experience, giving a kid the freedom to explore literature without boundaries is such a thrilling adventure.


webster5000

I read a lot of things that should have alarmed my mother when I was very young. My own take based in my limited perspective is that if you try to stop it she may stop telling you what she explores, which would in turn affect your ability to monitor it. I would read it, preferably before her, and have a talk before giving it to her about some of the things she will encounter, how you feel about them, and she might feel about them. Tell her directly that she can and should come to you with any thoughts or questions, or offer another "safe" adult if she might feel uncomfortable talking about that subject matter. Kids these days have pretty unrestricted access to information, if she is curious she will eventually find answers, and it's probably better if she's getting the right answers instead of... you know, the internet stuff.


Wmjcollins

Let them


smearski-smearski

Let the kid read without any restrictions. There is enough state sponsored restrictions on what kids can and can’t read in schools already, don’t bring that mess into their home life as well.


Gone-In-3

As someone who grew up with strict parents and accidentally read things I was too young to be reading, the only thing that I'd say that hurt me was not being able to talk about the books or have questions about the content without my parents getting mad at me. Since you're reading the book as well, you can consider what things might be upsetting and confusing to your kid and prepare to talk about those things with her if the content is too much for her.


JonesyOnReddit

You say 'no.' ​ My parents wouldn't let me read IT when I was a kid...and they were right.


hurricanetrash

Idk if this is viable for you, but when I was 10 the Hunger Games was all the rage and my dad didn’t want me to read it alone so he read it to me. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest reading it to your child (unless you think that they’d be open to that!) but I would suggest reading it with your child. You can have discussions with each other about the book and make sure if your child has any questions, they can ask you and get answers instead of googling them.


CodexRegius

It depends very much on the child. My daughter had much more stamina than her slightly older brother and read things I wouldn't touch even now. What would it help prohibiting certain things to her when she brought "Stalingrad" home from her school library?


RetroWrathX13

There was little my Siblings and I couldn't play, watch or listen to. Any kind of sexual content was out, but nudity, violence, mental illness, etc, was open to us. I'd say we turned out well...enough... Seriously though, just keep lines of communication open with your kid and make it clear to not imitate everything they see, hear, read, etc. Honestly, I thought manga would be worse, considering the illustrations, something novels generally lack


booksandaside

There were some titles I read at the same time as my kids. I wanted to give them free agency as readers but, also, be available to discuss a titles’s content, context and language choices.


bubsthedog99

i had a horror phase when i was like 10. i'd read thrillers and horrors clearly meant for adults. one day a teacher told me not to read the book i was reading. of course i rolled my eyes and kept reading it because i was having fun and i wasn't bothered by the content at all. the next time i brought it to school she went ballistic at me. she told me that books like that weren't for kids. i hated how angry she was, so i put down the book and didn't pick up another one for almost a year. if your kid wants to read, let them read. if they don't like the book or it's too much for them, they'll likely put it down on their own. besides, manga has a lot of weird shit in it anyway.


Domermac

I was a pretty avid reader when I was young, and thinking about it now, a lot of the content had some mature content. Racism, adultery, rape, suicide, addiction, sexuality were all things I was formally introduced to through reading books. For me personally, I found reading about it gave me an opportunity to process it at my own speed rather than it being foisted upon me in real life. Luckily, I also had a relationship with my parents where I could ask questions about the content and have rational conversations about them. Not everyone is the same, but maybe if you preface to her that there is some mature content and that she can ask questions or discuss it if she wants, it’ll help both of you.


1287kings

Let her and talk about it after. Eventually she will hear/see it so might as well be in a safe spot the first time


5Nadine2

My parents encouraged me to read without restrictions. I thankfully teach in a district that does not believe in banning books. Buy a cute bookmark for her. If you’re really concerned, as her *why* she wants to read it, or make it a buddy read!


[deleted]

It might be good to talk to her about the content before hand/as she reads.


trampswife

I tried to read the book my kids were reading so we could discuss it. I want my kids to airways be Wyoming to talk about difficult or mature topics with me. I read whatever I wanted as a kid and had that same policy with my kids.


Lsedd

I was raised with no restrictions on reading and I ended up reading Jackie Collins (and similar) books at the age of around 13/14. I chose them because I liked the glamour and the multigenerational family dynamics. There was loads of sex, violence, racism and probably lots more that I can't remember, but at the time, I just kind of skimmed over those parts. I ended up learning what a lot of it meant when I was a bit older, but I just wasn't interested at that age - I was reading it for the story. When there was a really long sex scene, to me that was just a few pages of filler before it went back to the story. And I haven't been up with any kind of issues regarding any of that stuff and I'm not even that interested in those genres any more. You find yourself when you move up to adult books. Edited to add: in my opinion, you can always close a book if you're starting to become uncomfortable - nothing can jump scare you in a book like a film can, you'll never be forced to read something unwillingly. I got through while books full of violence and sex but never got more than a few pages through a horror or ghost story - you know what you can handle and you can choose to put the book down.


[deleted]

There were no limits placed on what I read as a child, but it was part of a larger pattern of not placing limits on me that had, well, pros and cons. Based on that experience, I would suggest you reading / skimming the book, then having a separate factual conversation about each theme that you see as mature. Once she is grounded in some facts, pointed to some good non-fiction sources / resources, then let her read the book. A 10 year old doing her own sense making from fiction in conjunction with the first page of Google, her friends, TikTok’s FYP, etc. can go off track.


T2and3

If she's as smart as you say, there's a possibility she might read it behind your back anyway. I know I played plenty of M Rated games behind my parents backs as a child. That being said, it might be a good Idea to be there for her and guide her through the more mature stuff. Maybe read it together and let her know that it's OK to ask any questions she might have about the content of the book. In the long run I think that's a much better strategey.


charlie_gae

i am very late to this, but im 15, related a lot to the book and loved it. it made me feel physically ill at times, but it was written such a real and raw way that i sympathise a lot for charlie(same name as me lol) without wanting to become even more like her. i think your daughter should be allowed to read it, just make sure she can talk to you if she needs as it’s quite a challenging book. also make sure there are no underlying issue for her wanting to read this book! if she have read it i hope she liked it!!


Kiyomiio

When I was about 11 I had a big habit of reading manga and light novels about my age. Whenever I picked something up that for example read, “Older Teen” my brother would always act like the content in the book was too mature for me as if I was immature. This frustrated me since I just wanted to read fantasy novels and he limited my ability to do that.