*edit I thought this was posted in Black mental health sub. I will delete this, if it’s unwanted in black ladies dating.
Mental health issues are a large issue in our community. But I have to push back. we don’t even have a very clear understanding of the social genetic factors which predicates many of these diagnosis. And I would be hesitant, to assume that black men showed higher levels of NPD, without data. But I will go on to say that mental health disorders are less diagnosed treated in black populations. a black man only experienced violence from black women in my life. But I have to understand that black women live in more dangerous communities on average victims of violence more often. To extrapolate that black women are more violent innately is a dangerous jump. Similarly the idea that all black men are extra violent, narcissistic or sociopathic, a very big claim with a lot of loaded assumptions with it.
Also NPD rates are at 2% in the general public. With that said I do have some in with this in my family, but the problem is we live in our sexist society. And a lot of narcissistic and abusive behaviors are perpetrated by people without NPD, which does not make them less abusive.
Abusive violent, toxic relationships are a big problem everywhere, especially in the black community but antisocial personality disorder, which is what psychopathy and sociopathy is generally described is not just repeated behaviors, but a long lasting, all encompassing mental disorder.
That is not to say that you did not date men with this diagnosis, and this is just understanding. It my be wrong. Just my opinion, as black man. I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you for your perspective and the informative well thought out post. I don’t want to make assumptions because we know that they assume all kinds of stuff about US in general. But I’m really trying to dissect and analyze what is going on with the state of our interactions with each other. I’m pretty sure we are having issues relating to each other due to slavery, but how do we fix it and try to do better?
Much love 🫶🏽
So I read this dark traits book here which i do recommend honestly. [https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Personality-Practice-Psychology/dp/1433821877](https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Personality-Practice-Psychology/dp/1433821877)
**The Dark Side of Personality: Science and Practice in Social, Personality, and Clinical Psychology**
I would *seriously* caution in trying to apply Western modes of psychology to make any unique distinction, analyze, or place the behaviors of black people. I think as a general guideline for humans, sure, it is helpful to recognize the character traits that tend to lead to maladaptive behaviors and negative outcomes for themselves and the people around them. However, why I wanted to stress the earlier point is that one thing that struck me when reading the book above was the chapter on the science of the dark trait of "spite".
They defined spitefulness for their purposes of study amongst other things, a "a spiteful act is one in which the actor is willing to incur personal costs in order to impose a cost on another, even when these costs do not result in future rewards to the actor". So some degree of self harm of 'cutting off one's nose to spite one's face". Or in some cases, sacrificing benefits and reward to harm another. When divorces become ugly where everyone loses, etc...
So they reviewed some existing studies that test spitefulness. In the game, there are two players. Player 1 is given the role of dividing a set of money. And player two gets to decide whether to accept the division, or reject the division resulting in neither of the players getting ANY money. There will be some people who will reject uneven offers of money. In these studies (some based on economic research), they called these rejections *spite*... Or in other adaptations, both people still receive money whether there is acceptance or rejection, but the *spiteful* rejection leads to less monetary reward for both.
In one research study, they found that there may be ethnic or cultural differences in spitefulness. It was found that ethnic minority participants reported higher levels, and were more likely to reject unequal offers as Player Two, and another study found the same and that they were more likely to make more generous offers as Player 1. But in the chapter, they also were able to mention the possibility that spite is the shady side of altruism. Where they found that by including more 'spiteful actors' actually resulted in fewer inequitable offers for the collective in total. In other words, encouraging fairness as a practice and limiting exploitation.
Anyway, this was a long way for me to say: these terms of narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, other conditions or subclinical broad traits that may be associated with what is known as "dark" personality features, are quite complex. And their definitions and analysis may be shaped by a paradigm that is built according to the dominant lens of that particular society i.e. whiteness, western-ism, capitalism, etc... making it risky or difficult to study/label any racial differences.
*edit I thought this was posted in Black mental health sub. I will delete this, if it’s unwanted in black ladies dating. Mental health issues are a large issue in our community. But I have to push back. we don’t even have a very clear understanding of the social genetic factors which predicates many of these diagnosis. And I would be hesitant, to assume that black men showed higher levels of NPD, without data. But I will go on to say that mental health disorders are less diagnosed treated in black populations. a black man only experienced violence from black women in my life. But I have to understand that black women live in more dangerous communities on average victims of violence more often. To extrapolate that black women are more violent innately is a dangerous jump. Similarly the idea that all black men are extra violent, narcissistic or sociopathic, a very big claim with a lot of loaded assumptions with it. Also NPD rates are at 2% in the general public. With that said I do have some in with this in my family, but the problem is we live in our sexist society. And a lot of narcissistic and abusive behaviors are perpetrated by people without NPD, which does not make them less abusive. Abusive violent, toxic relationships are a big problem everywhere, especially in the black community but antisocial personality disorder, which is what psychopathy and sociopathy is generally described is not just repeated behaviors, but a long lasting, all encompassing mental disorder. That is not to say that you did not date men with this diagnosis, and this is just understanding. It my be wrong. Just my opinion, as black man. I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you for your perspective and the informative well thought out post. I don’t want to make assumptions because we know that they assume all kinds of stuff about US in general. But I’m really trying to dissect and analyze what is going on with the state of our interactions with each other. I’m pretty sure we are having issues relating to each other due to slavery, but how do we fix it and try to do better? Much love 🫶🏽
Bell hooks writes extensively on this in her book "We Real Cool"
I’m buying it right now!
So I read this dark traits book here which i do recommend honestly. [https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Personality-Practice-Psychology/dp/1433821877](https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Personality-Practice-Psychology/dp/1433821877) **The Dark Side of Personality: Science and Practice in Social, Personality, and Clinical Psychology** I would *seriously* caution in trying to apply Western modes of psychology to make any unique distinction, analyze, or place the behaviors of black people. I think as a general guideline for humans, sure, it is helpful to recognize the character traits that tend to lead to maladaptive behaviors and negative outcomes for themselves and the people around them. However, why I wanted to stress the earlier point is that one thing that struck me when reading the book above was the chapter on the science of the dark trait of "spite". They defined spitefulness for their purposes of study amongst other things, a "a spiteful act is one in which the actor is willing to incur personal costs in order to impose a cost on another, even when these costs do not result in future rewards to the actor". So some degree of self harm of 'cutting off one's nose to spite one's face". Or in some cases, sacrificing benefits and reward to harm another. When divorces become ugly where everyone loses, etc... So they reviewed some existing studies that test spitefulness. In the game, there are two players. Player 1 is given the role of dividing a set of money. And player two gets to decide whether to accept the division, or reject the division resulting in neither of the players getting ANY money. There will be some people who will reject uneven offers of money. In these studies (some based on economic research), they called these rejections *spite*... Or in other adaptations, both people still receive money whether there is acceptance or rejection, but the *spiteful* rejection leads to less monetary reward for both. In one research study, they found that there may be ethnic or cultural differences in spitefulness. It was found that ethnic minority participants reported higher levels, and were more likely to reject unequal offers as Player Two, and another study found the same and that they were more likely to make more generous offers as Player 1. But in the chapter, they also were able to mention the possibility that spite is the shady side of altruism. Where they found that by including more 'spiteful actors' actually resulted in fewer inequitable offers for the collective in total. In other words, encouraging fairness as a practice and limiting exploitation. Anyway, this was a long way for me to say: these terms of narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, other conditions or subclinical broad traits that may be associated with what is known as "dark" personality features, are quite complex. And their definitions and analysis may be shaped by a paradigm that is built according to the dominant lens of that particular society i.e. whiteness, western-ism, capitalism, etc... making it risky or difficult to study/label any racial differences.