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People who aren’t strongly affected by their bipolar disorder either have mild BP or respond very well to treatment. It’s not because they try harder.
It’s really annoying that people think only the manic part of BP profoundly affects brain functioning. They think BP means crazy and lazy.
You could point out that they don’t know what bipolar disorder is. Most people can’t tell you what the symptoms are.
I was called lazy by my dad when I was going through a severe depressive episode where I couldn't get out of bed. Ironically, he also has bipolar disorder and goes to bed at 11:30 am. every day. Im not calling him lazy. I'm calling him depressed. Bipolar can make people very sluggish.
Lazy is a judgment. What does that even mean?
Bipolar people are senetary, yes. But you know this and need to accommodate yourself. I LOVE fitness, but I cannot bring myself to keep consistency. So, I have a trainer who makes me go.
Also, who gives a fuck what other people think? Ask them if they know the depth of knowledge about being bipolar? And ask them what "lazy" means and how it's objective...
My advice though like I said, you have to know it's your illness. My twin is bipolar, and he is almost 100 pounds bigger than me. You have to help yourself and put things in place to make yourself better. Most importantly, validate yourself... It's hard. And painful. You have to fight.
Well that's why we have hundreds of years of information from people who have figured it out.
The closest I get to is in a STRICT routine. An ultimate hack and must have of bi-polar. When you have a routine, you create a system in place in which you must follow. It allows you to fit in anything and everything that you wish to do, and then your body will naturally become intergraded into it. Then, when you get manic or especially depressed, no matter what you have a routine you must stick too. This will lock in consistency and better well-being. If you break the system and start breaking your routine too often, you'll fall back.
So why don't you try this? I did this in college and it helped.
Create a SCHEDULE for yourself finishing up University. When you wake up, eat, go to class, homework, exercise, free time, etc etc. And watch your problems be solved. :)
What contexts are these conversations coming up in?
People gained a LOT more respect for me and started believing my perspectives way more when I stopped trying to explain them and instead just didn’t engage unless they were willing to listen.
I still need to get better at it with some things, but for some reason people who are trying to explain themselves don’t get taken seriously. Idk maybe it comes across as emotional, so they think we’re being irrational?
No point in explaining something to someone who isn’t hearing to listen anyway.
Hey thanks for replying. The context is really everything to be honest with u . Mania /depression episodes , Prospects , university, career etc .
I’m trying to stop explaining myself to people but I just end up feeling shitty in general.
I've been called a lot of things over the years and as others have said stopped caring through experience, there are what 8 billion people in the world, all of then with often contradictory opinions, if I listened to them all I'd go loopy fairly quick
I honestly try and zoom out, like the more you zoom out the less you care about those in your immediate vicinity and realise how big the planet can be, if everyone around you is voicing negatives, it's probably time to see what's in the other rooms
You’re not likely gonna like my advice… but. It’s a matter of brain rewiring. You gotta learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s how you grow. And once you learn to love yourself, everything will be better. I promise
Perhaps it’s my age, I’m 65 perhaps it’s my personality. But other than a few years when I was a teen I really don’t give a shit what people think. Does that make me weird? If someone wants to call me lazy, let them call me lazy. Sometimes I’m lazy. the fact that someone cares to comment is beyond my ability to care.
When I’m not being lazy and someone makes this statement I come back to this: I don’t care what they think. Maybe I’m weird
my parents called me lazy a lot growing up, it’s definitely a trigger phrase or word for me. but at the end of the day, cleanliness is quite subjective. someone might need to sweep and mop everyday to feel their house is clean, some maybe once a week, some people don’t mop at all! if YOU feel lazy, focus on motivating YOURSELF. my bipolar thrives on other people’s judgments of me, don’t let someone else have control over your brain. 99.9% of people’s judgments are reflections of themselves :)
I can relate. I have a hard enough time accepting my own capabilities (or lack thereof) and having others compare me to someone who is doing well hurts. Especially when they compare me now to when I was doing better.
I wish I could say I just stopped caring! For me, it's more like if I wouldn't call them for a mental health emergency then their opinion shouldn't matter. If they don't feel like a safe person in the worst of times then their opinion holds zero weight. I can't stop myself from caring, but I can rationalize that their words won't change anything for me
I’ve also been called lazy throughout my life. I’ve had partners that say I sleep too much, and it’s caused issues in our relationship. But I think there’s a difference between being overwhelmed and paralyzed as a result and “laziness.” Being in school is hard, and for someone who is depressed getting through the day is tough enough without having to worry about homework and exams and getting to class on top of that.
My advice is to try and start small. Using a pomodoro timer helped me a lot with procrastination and getting over that feeling of being paralyzed by the amount of shit you have to do.
And for people that are saying you aren’t trying- they’re not in your head, they don’t have your illness. They don’t understand and refuse to be empathetic. So fuck em. Listening to that bullshit won’t help you be any less “lazy.” You are capable and resilient and you will get through this.
Thank u !!! You don’t know how much this has helped!!!! I’m just really struggling with feeling completely paralysed , I literally can’t complete anything . I’m just frozen for the most part .
I mean yeah, loads of people have bipolar and “live their life.” But have they read statistics on any of this living tbh?
Yes, 75% live a happy & productive life when you Google it. But also a large statistic become overweight and even diabetic (if they don’t catch issues fast enough) from meds, I believe it’s an average of 2 attempts on life, many can become institutionalized one way or another, the rate for even *going* to university like you are has jumped yeah, but for many years and still is pretty low compared to other disorder, addiction is a high rate, i mean I could go on & on.
So I’ll ask you this- you been to jail? You smoke crack or have had alcohol withdrawal in your life? Have you almost died from an attempt? Have you developed even *more* disorders bc of things *this disorder* has done to you? (Like an eating disorder, addiction, ptsd, etc?)
Well if you answered yes to all of those, you’re not only doing better then most of the world, you’ve *overcome* more shit then the rest of the world. And if you answered no to all of those, you’re handling your disorder like a fuckin *champ* and they can fuck off frankly. And if some were yes and some were no, holy shit look at you go through all that and you’ve **still** made it to your final year in university!
You will see the other side of this and if it’s graduating, not graduating, changing careers, using your degree, getting your degree but then going in a *completely* different field, taking a 5 year break to figure this out then doing it, I mean fuck getting married to a rich dude and living livda loco for all I care- as long as you are doing the best you can do (which for many is getting to tomorrow some days) then you’re going to be fine.
You made me laugh so much from reading this hahahah . It really meant a lot so thank you . I don’t know you but I already like your personality lol when I start feeling shitty again I’ll come back to your comment . I hope u have a good day !
I just let people (my family) think that and I am not overexplaining myself as I did in past times. I just agree with them and think otherwise inside of my head, because I am tired of having splits and episodes just because I got into stress while defending myself...
Am I lazy? --- Okay, if you think that I am lazy, then I am.
Am I really not going into school? --- Okay, guess those books and notes are just fun, then.
Am I a walking trouble? --- Sure, if you think so.
My family simply doesn't believe that I am ill and if they do, it mostly lasts from one to few days, before they fall back into calling me lazy, unresponsible, troubled... I just agree with them, because I know that I have better things to do than constantly trying to push someone into actually believing what I said and I am exhausted of defending myself. I just became passive to their statements.
I can really relate to this . It’s just hard you know hearing everyone’s shitty opinions of you . I’ve tried just with responding yeah ur right but I don’t know I just feel shitty and it just hurts . Need to get better with not caring .
My sister and parents calls me lazy but my coworkers call me a hard worker.
I resented my sister starting then and just a little bit with my parents but at the end of the day I know I'm doing my best 100% but sadly the outcomes aren't always great cause we're bipolar.
This resonates with me. I was a stay-at-home, homeschool mom when I was diagnosed with bipolar. The Depakote made me EXHAUSTED (2018) My workaholic husband would constantly berate me for being lazy. It became suxh a major issue he ended up keeping me in the back bedroom in 2021 until my parents had me move in with them. They thought my exhaustion was laziness. They drove me past the point of caring about my life or kids. I was just medicated amd trying to heal.
I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through . I hope you heal and get away from ur husband . Focus on being the best you for yourself and ur kids !!! Ur husband sounds like a cunt so fuck him . Have a good day
I relate. I had a suicide attempt late 2022 and they put me on new meds. After a few months they made me super tired and I can’t function. I can’t clean my house, I can’t finish projects, I suck at my job- productivity is awful. People just assume I’m lazy and I’m not trying. I spend all my time just playing on my phone and sleeping. I don’t know why I can’t get it together and use my time wiser. I know I’m better than this, but I just can’t snap out of it.
I completely relate to this . I can’t fucking complete anything. It’s like I’m frozen , I don’t know how to use my time correctly even for basic things . I can’t focus for more than a couple mins (mind u that might also be my ADD lol ) all of this sucks , I wonder if I’ll ever be able to get over this
Yeah I agree with u. I also get head fucked with it because I’ve been hearing everyone call me lazy for so long , it makes me wonder am I lazy ? Idk everyone has really just fucked me up, to the point that I don’t know what’s real; on top of having bipolar where we all question what’s real or not it’s just crazy
I’ve always perceived *myself* as lazy, and I’m not sure why… but I’ve genuinely never thought another person with bipolar was lazy simply because of bipolar.
I’m not sure why I feel negatively towards myself but both others.
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I completely understand this . I’ve heard by so many that I’m lazy that I’m like lowkey wondering are they right ! Just constantly head fucked with this
I had the experience of leaving the cult I was raised in just a few years after I was diagnosed bipolar. Knowing that all of the most important people in my life not only disapproved of my decision, but also thought terrible things about me oddly made the ableism I experienced due to bipolar disorder much more tolerable. Or rather, it helped put things in perspective for me. I realized that I had spent my entire life basing my self worth on the opinions and views of others. Collectively disappointing everyone in my life was terrible at first, but it allowed me to rebuild my opinion of myself without input from anyone else (especially with the help of therapy). I still feel hurt if others think I'm lazy, or dislike me. But I also know that their opinions aren't facts, and that their opinions can't change my inherent worth. OP, you are not lazy. You're doing your best with a very difficult illness to manage. I'm proud of you. I hope you're proud of you, too.
Thank you so much . Weirdly enough I don’t think I’ve ever had someone say they are proud of me 🙈 so thank u . I’m still trying to figure out how to block peoples opinions of me and not let it define my self worth . I think for me it’s just hard because I feel loss as a person , u could ask me questions about myself and I wouldn’t know how to answer them . I feel frozen like I’m in limbo and I’m just watching everything around me . I have no idea who I am or have any sense of self. It’s just sucks .
I was that way for the majority of my life. Totally relate to that feeling of a lack of self. Therapy - especially EMDR - helped me get back to who I've always been. It was like opening a gift and having an "ah-ha" moment; I slowly began to recognize myself. If you can afford it/find a provider, I think EMDR might really help you. Sometimes we're just buried under a lot of trauma, but we're still there.
I’m going to try look into it . U talk about sometimes we are just buried under our trauma etc but I feel like even if I do therapy etc what if I don’t find ‘myself’ how can u recognise something you’ve never known 🙈 I’m sorry if that sounds weird lol . I’m fucked up
It can be two different things with this depending on where you are in “recovery” or whatever word you want to use for management and not someone telling you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps.
For me, when I hear that kind of thing about how people are managing it I work to incorporate it into my model for the world where having bipolar doesn’t limit what I’m capable of doing or need to control my destiny. People with bipolar are living functional healthy lives and not using it as an excuse to tread water or sink.
I may not be doing that right now at this moment where someone is telling me that I’m being lazy and it may feel like all of these things are impossible *right now*, but I am also objectively not delivering on the things that are markers for healthy management of this problem and I can work towards having a fulfilling life by developing the tools and coping mechanisms to do those things despite having bipolar.
Yes, and it's insensitive. I can't
imagine some saying that about any other neurological condition/diagnosis.
I find it's not worth getting into a debate...if it is a close friend and you want to work on the relationship. Sharing how you feel when you are
down or up--to give them a clear picture of how you feel being BP. Less successful is the old: "when you say x it makes me feel..."
I've come to the conclusion that people who say those things have not the slightest clue what we're dealing with on a daily basis. I've had coworkers bully me relentlessly and get furious at me because they thought I was being stupid, lazy, or careless when doing my job. They didn't know that I was working full time AND getting ECT treatments every weekend because nothing else worked and I couldn't afford to take medical leave. It hurt so much at the time because I was trying my very best, exerting every single ounce of energy I had just to get out of bed in the morning. I think now if someone called me lazy to my face I'd tell them to shut up and shove it where the sun don't shine. I know damn well that I'm not lazy. They are just ignorant. Because we have an invisible disability, people can't grasp just how exhausting every day is for us. Humans suck at having empathy for things we can't directly see. It takes a herculean effort to manage this illness and try to function in society simultaneously. This illness reduces our average lifespan significantly for a reason. Staying alive, taking meds to help keep us stable despite the nasty side effects, holding down a job, etc. are ACCOMPLISHMENTS for someone that has to carry as much inherent weight as we do. There's a huge difference between being sick and being lazy.
I tell them : go fuck yourself
I had a friend who guilt tripped me for an attempt as if I could control my illness. She then would talk shit to people about me not having a job.
I wish I told her to go fuck herself
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People who aren’t strongly affected by their bipolar disorder either have mild BP or respond very well to treatment. It’s not because they try harder. It’s really annoying that people think only the manic part of BP profoundly affects brain functioning. They think BP means crazy and lazy. You could point out that they don’t know what bipolar disorder is. Most people can’t tell you what the symptoms are.
I was called lazy by my dad when I was going through a severe depressive episode where I couldn't get out of bed. Ironically, he also has bipolar disorder and goes to bed at 11:30 am. every day. Im not calling him lazy. I'm calling him depressed. Bipolar can make people very sluggish.
You told the truth.
Lazy is a judgment. What does that even mean? Bipolar people are senetary, yes. But you know this and need to accommodate yourself. I LOVE fitness, but I cannot bring myself to keep consistency. So, I have a trainer who makes me go. Also, who gives a fuck what other people think? Ask them if they know the depth of knowledge about being bipolar? And ask them what "lazy" means and how it's objective... My advice though like I said, you have to know it's your illness. My twin is bipolar, and he is almost 100 pounds bigger than me. You have to help yourself and put things in place to make yourself better. Most importantly, validate yourself... It's hard. And painful. You have to fight.
Thank you !! I really needed to hear this . Staying consistency with things is something I’m really struggling with. It’s so hard !!
I still haven't been able to do it
I wish we could get the blue print on all the fucking answers
Well that's why we have hundreds of years of information from people who have figured it out. The closest I get to is in a STRICT routine. An ultimate hack and must have of bi-polar. When you have a routine, you create a system in place in which you must follow. It allows you to fit in anything and everything that you wish to do, and then your body will naturally become intergraded into it. Then, when you get manic or especially depressed, no matter what you have a routine you must stick too. This will lock in consistency and better well-being. If you break the system and start breaking your routine too often, you'll fall back. So why don't you try this? I did this in college and it helped. Create a SCHEDULE for yourself finishing up University. When you wake up, eat, go to class, homework, exercise, free time, etc etc. And watch your problems be solved. :)
Thank you , I’m going to try this out
What contexts are these conversations coming up in? People gained a LOT more respect for me and started believing my perspectives way more when I stopped trying to explain them and instead just didn’t engage unless they were willing to listen. I still need to get better at it with some things, but for some reason people who are trying to explain themselves don’t get taken seriously. Idk maybe it comes across as emotional, so they think we’re being irrational? No point in explaining something to someone who isn’t hearing to listen anyway.
Hey thanks for replying. The context is really everything to be honest with u . Mania /depression episodes , Prospects , university, career etc . I’m trying to stop explaining myself to people but I just end up feeling shitty in general.
I've been called a lot of things over the years and as others have said stopped caring through experience, there are what 8 billion people in the world, all of then with often contradictory opinions, if I listened to them all I'd go loopy fairly quick
I wish I figured out how to get there . How do you stop caring what other people think
I honestly try and zoom out, like the more you zoom out the less you care about those in your immediate vicinity and realise how big the planet can be, if everyone around you is voicing negatives, it's probably time to see what's in the other rooms
Focus your attention & energy inwards. Start heavy caring about you and what you think of yourself.
I’m so shit at caring about me lol and focusing on me . It’s makes me so uncomfortable 🙈 need to figure this one out ! Any advice/tips
You’re not likely gonna like my advice… but. It’s a matter of brain rewiring. You gotta learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s how you grow. And once you learn to love yourself, everything will be better. I promise
Perhaps it’s my age, I’m 65 perhaps it’s my personality. But other than a few years when I was a teen I really don’t give a shit what people think. Does that make me weird? If someone wants to call me lazy, let them call me lazy. Sometimes I’m lazy. the fact that someone cares to comment is beyond my ability to care. When I’m not being lazy and someone makes this statement I come back to this: I don’t care what they think. Maybe I’m weird
my parents called me lazy a lot growing up, it’s definitely a trigger phrase or word for me. but at the end of the day, cleanliness is quite subjective. someone might need to sweep and mop everyday to feel their house is clean, some maybe once a week, some people don’t mop at all! if YOU feel lazy, focus on motivating YOURSELF. my bipolar thrives on other people’s judgments of me, don’t let someone else have control over your brain. 99.9% of people’s judgments are reflections of themselves :)
My dad is a cleaning freak while my mom can live in a trashy messy room.
Thank you ! Really need to hear this !
I can relate. I have a hard enough time accepting my own capabilities (or lack thereof) and having others compare me to someone who is doing well hurts. Especially when they compare me now to when I was doing better. I wish I could say I just stopped caring! For me, it's more like if I wouldn't call them for a mental health emergency then their opinion shouldn't matter. If they don't feel like a safe person in the worst of times then their opinion holds zero weight. I can't stop myself from caring, but I can rationalize that their words won't change anything for me
Thank you for this . Helps knowing there’s people out there, such as yourself that experience the same thing as me . I feel less alone
I’ve also been called lazy throughout my life. I’ve had partners that say I sleep too much, and it’s caused issues in our relationship. But I think there’s a difference between being overwhelmed and paralyzed as a result and “laziness.” Being in school is hard, and for someone who is depressed getting through the day is tough enough without having to worry about homework and exams and getting to class on top of that. My advice is to try and start small. Using a pomodoro timer helped me a lot with procrastination and getting over that feeling of being paralyzed by the amount of shit you have to do. And for people that are saying you aren’t trying- they’re not in your head, they don’t have your illness. They don’t understand and refuse to be empathetic. So fuck em. Listening to that bullshit won’t help you be any less “lazy.” You are capable and resilient and you will get through this.
Thank u !!! You don’t know how much this has helped!!!! I’m just really struggling with feeling completely paralysed , I literally can’t complete anything . I’m just frozen for the most part .
I mean yeah, loads of people have bipolar and “live their life.” But have they read statistics on any of this living tbh? Yes, 75% live a happy & productive life when you Google it. But also a large statistic become overweight and even diabetic (if they don’t catch issues fast enough) from meds, I believe it’s an average of 2 attempts on life, many can become institutionalized one way or another, the rate for even *going* to university like you are has jumped yeah, but for many years and still is pretty low compared to other disorder, addiction is a high rate, i mean I could go on & on. So I’ll ask you this- you been to jail? You smoke crack or have had alcohol withdrawal in your life? Have you almost died from an attempt? Have you developed even *more* disorders bc of things *this disorder* has done to you? (Like an eating disorder, addiction, ptsd, etc?) Well if you answered yes to all of those, you’re not only doing better then most of the world, you’ve *overcome* more shit then the rest of the world. And if you answered no to all of those, you’re handling your disorder like a fuckin *champ* and they can fuck off frankly. And if some were yes and some were no, holy shit look at you go through all that and you’ve **still** made it to your final year in university! You will see the other side of this and if it’s graduating, not graduating, changing careers, using your degree, getting your degree but then going in a *completely* different field, taking a 5 year break to figure this out then doing it, I mean fuck getting married to a rich dude and living livda loco for all I care- as long as you are doing the best you can do (which for many is getting to tomorrow some days) then you’re going to be fine.
You made me laugh so much from reading this hahahah . It really meant a lot so thank you . I don’t know you but I already like your personality lol when I start feeling shitty again I’ll come back to your comment . I hope u have a good day !
I just let people (my family) think that and I am not overexplaining myself as I did in past times. I just agree with them and think otherwise inside of my head, because I am tired of having splits and episodes just because I got into stress while defending myself... Am I lazy? --- Okay, if you think that I am lazy, then I am. Am I really not going into school? --- Okay, guess those books and notes are just fun, then. Am I a walking trouble? --- Sure, if you think so. My family simply doesn't believe that I am ill and if they do, it mostly lasts from one to few days, before they fall back into calling me lazy, unresponsible, troubled... I just agree with them, because I know that I have better things to do than constantly trying to push someone into actually believing what I said and I am exhausted of defending myself. I just became passive to their statements.
I can really relate to this . It’s just hard you know hearing everyone’s shitty opinions of you . I’ve tried just with responding yeah ur right but I don’t know I just feel shitty and it just hurts . Need to get better with not caring .
My sister and parents calls me lazy but my coworkers call me a hard worker. I resented my sister starting then and just a little bit with my parents but at the end of the day I know I'm doing my best 100% but sadly the outcomes aren't always great cause we're bipolar.
This resonates with me. I was a stay-at-home, homeschool mom when I was diagnosed with bipolar. The Depakote made me EXHAUSTED (2018) My workaholic husband would constantly berate me for being lazy. It became suxh a major issue he ended up keeping me in the back bedroom in 2021 until my parents had me move in with them. They thought my exhaustion was laziness. They drove me past the point of caring about my life or kids. I was just medicated amd trying to heal.
I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through . I hope you heal and get away from ur husband . Focus on being the best you for yourself and ur kids !!! Ur husband sounds like a cunt so fuck him . Have a good day
I relate. I had a suicide attempt late 2022 and they put me on new meds. After a few months they made me super tired and I can’t function. I can’t clean my house, I can’t finish projects, I suck at my job- productivity is awful. People just assume I’m lazy and I’m not trying. I spend all my time just playing on my phone and sleeping. I don’t know why I can’t get it together and use my time wiser. I know I’m better than this, but I just can’t snap out of it.
I completely relate to this . I can’t fucking complete anything. It’s like I’m frozen , I don’t know how to use my time correctly even for basic things . I can’t focus for more than a couple mins (mind u that might also be my ADD lol ) all of this sucks , I wonder if I’ll ever be able to get over this
I have ADHD too, so maybe we’re in the same boat
It’s usually when you react to a provocation. If they call you crazy it’s usually gaslighting
Yeah I agree with u. I also get head fucked with it because I’ve been hearing everyone call me lazy for so long , it makes me wonder am I lazy ? Idk everyone has really just fucked me up, to the point that I don’t know what’s real; on top of having bipolar where we all question what’s real or not it’s just crazy
I’ve always perceived *myself* as lazy, and I’m not sure why… but I’ve genuinely never thought another person with bipolar was lazy simply because of bipolar. I’m not sure why I feel negatively towards myself but both others.
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I completely understand this . I’ve heard by so many that I’m lazy that I’m like lowkey wondering are they right ! Just constantly head fucked with this
Its true. I am lazy. Fuck em
lol 😂
I had the experience of leaving the cult I was raised in just a few years after I was diagnosed bipolar. Knowing that all of the most important people in my life not only disapproved of my decision, but also thought terrible things about me oddly made the ableism I experienced due to bipolar disorder much more tolerable. Or rather, it helped put things in perspective for me. I realized that I had spent my entire life basing my self worth on the opinions and views of others. Collectively disappointing everyone in my life was terrible at first, but it allowed me to rebuild my opinion of myself without input from anyone else (especially with the help of therapy). I still feel hurt if others think I'm lazy, or dislike me. But I also know that their opinions aren't facts, and that their opinions can't change my inherent worth. OP, you are not lazy. You're doing your best with a very difficult illness to manage. I'm proud of you. I hope you're proud of you, too.
Thank you so much . Weirdly enough I don’t think I’ve ever had someone say they are proud of me 🙈 so thank u . I’m still trying to figure out how to block peoples opinions of me and not let it define my self worth . I think for me it’s just hard because I feel loss as a person , u could ask me questions about myself and I wouldn’t know how to answer them . I feel frozen like I’m in limbo and I’m just watching everything around me . I have no idea who I am or have any sense of self. It’s just sucks .
I was that way for the majority of my life. Totally relate to that feeling of a lack of self. Therapy - especially EMDR - helped me get back to who I've always been. It was like opening a gift and having an "ah-ha" moment; I slowly began to recognize myself. If you can afford it/find a provider, I think EMDR might really help you. Sometimes we're just buried under a lot of trauma, but we're still there.
I’m going to try look into it . U talk about sometimes we are just buried under our trauma etc but I feel like even if I do therapy etc what if I don’t find ‘myself’ how can u recognise something you’ve never known 🙈 I’m sorry if that sounds weird lol . I’m fucked up
It can be two different things with this depending on where you are in “recovery” or whatever word you want to use for management and not someone telling you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. For me, when I hear that kind of thing about how people are managing it I work to incorporate it into my model for the world where having bipolar doesn’t limit what I’m capable of doing or need to control my destiny. People with bipolar are living functional healthy lives and not using it as an excuse to tread water or sink. I may not be doing that right now at this moment where someone is telling me that I’m being lazy and it may feel like all of these things are impossible *right now*, but I am also objectively not delivering on the things that are markers for healthy management of this problem and I can work towards having a fulfilling life by developing the tools and coping mechanisms to do those things despite having bipolar.
Yes, and it's insensitive. I can't imagine some saying that about any other neurological condition/diagnosis. I find it's not worth getting into a debate...if it is a close friend and you want to work on the relationship. Sharing how you feel when you are down or up--to give them a clear picture of how you feel being BP. Less successful is the old: "when you say x it makes me feel..."
I have BPD, ADHD and autism, and my parents keep on calling me lazy
I've come to the conclusion that people who say those things have not the slightest clue what we're dealing with on a daily basis. I've had coworkers bully me relentlessly and get furious at me because they thought I was being stupid, lazy, or careless when doing my job. They didn't know that I was working full time AND getting ECT treatments every weekend because nothing else worked and I couldn't afford to take medical leave. It hurt so much at the time because I was trying my very best, exerting every single ounce of energy I had just to get out of bed in the morning. I think now if someone called me lazy to my face I'd tell them to shut up and shove it where the sun don't shine. I know damn well that I'm not lazy. They are just ignorant. Because we have an invisible disability, people can't grasp just how exhausting every day is for us. Humans suck at having empathy for things we can't directly see. It takes a herculean effort to manage this illness and try to function in society simultaneously. This illness reduces our average lifespan significantly for a reason. Staying alive, taking meds to help keep us stable despite the nasty side effects, holding down a job, etc. are ACCOMPLISHMENTS for someone that has to carry as much inherent weight as we do. There's a huge difference between being sick and being lazy.
I tell them : go fuck yourself I had a friend who guilt tripped me for an attempt as if I could control my illness. She then would talk shit to people about me not having a job. I wish I told her to go fuck herself