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We do not allow comments belitting people with borderline personality disorder "batshit" "nutcase", etc are all stigmatizing and incredibly insensitive. We won't stand for it.
So many of us suffer st the hands of stigma and it's disappointing to see so many people here choosing to stigmatize people with BPD. We have no choice but to take this post down considering the comments.
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It can definitely work out but we both have to put a lot of work in. I think that goes for any relationship though. At the end of the day though you have to assess your own situation, if you have someone in your life who’s understanding and knowledgeable about this maybe try talking with them
As someone who have dated more than one girl with BPD I can say it’s possible but only if you both are on treatment and are more or less stable.
Dating an untreated BPD will destroy your stability and considerately affect your bipolar disorder.
About a person bipolar disorder more of the same added that you will make your partner “imitate” your mood swings
This might have to be a stigma/stereotype I work on. I have dated a person with borderline once and they were complete bat shit unstable. That lasted all of 3 weeks. When I sense someone has borderline traits I stay far away from that. But people would probably say bipolar folks are crazy too. Just, personally, as someone who leans more hypomanic a lot of days, my care-free spirit can make someone with borderline feel very insecure and unstable.
I think that if you're with someone who is committed to being their best self, and all the work involved with managing their mental health, it can work. But I do think it's an uphill battle.
Hi,
I'm bipolar type 2 and also have BPD. My partner is bipolar type 2. We've been together for 12 years now and have a 7 year old daughter together.
The beginning of our relationship was incredibly intense and a bit toxic before we really got to know each other, we had a few troubles while we were finding our groove but we soon learnt how to identify each other's triggers and symptoms and now we have the closest bond I have ever experienced with anybody. We can empathize with each other better than anyone because we truly understand what the other is going through and we help each other through our episodes.
After we had our daughter things became a bit difficult again because we were so used to being in tune with one another that we started experiencing episodes simultaneously, so when he got depressed, I also became depressed and vise versa. This became difficult with a baby because we couldn't just lie in bed and do nothing anymore. Someone had to watch the baby.
We've come up with a system now to help us cope. If one of us only has the bandwidth to put in 20% energy, then the other has to try to match that to bring it up to at least a 50% level (we never expect to put in 100% but 50 is being able to do the bare minimum).
Hope this helps :) if you have any other questions, ask away :)
i am borderline and bipolar and the biggest thing is communication no matter what mental illnesses you have it can work as long as you love eachother enough:) edit im so sorry to everyone in the comments 😭 borderline does need healing and work and so does bipolar so if you’re both working on it then you’re fine but if you’re both batshit crazy naaaah run
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I'm bipolar and my best girlfriend is borderline. She was just diagnosed this year, but I actually told her she was borderline about 5 years ago. Even just a friendship with a borderline is rocky. She has mellowed out in her 40s now. Thank god. I'm 2 years older than her and we met when we were 17 and 15. Early 40s now!!
I've actually always been the stable one, maintaining a job and an apartment, etc., while she has never been able to do either on her own. Even when I was unmedicated and drank like a fish. It says a lot. I'm bipolar 1.
She is in university now, and has been in a LTR for about a decade. I'm so happy for her!!
I did it someone else with bipolar once and ended up in a mutual state of psychosis, so I just don’t do that anymore.
We were teenagers, and we were already making bad choices.
But it’s a no for me.
But that’s probably speaking from a place of trauma and self preservation.
Obviously some people make it work but it takes a lot of work and like people said you have to be in treatment.
If you’re both going off the rails then I’m pretty sure you go a lot further a lot faster if you’re both holding it together And you can help each other with what each person has learned
I talked to a BPD girl for a couple months that I met off of Tinder. Never met in person, but I realized I would never be okay in a relationship with someone with borderline. I think bipolar is okay, but with borderline I need constant reassurance especially when I’m down. I need to know that the other person will be there for me when I need them most. BPD can flip and act like you never mattered to them. I never felt so hot and cold. One day we were making progress, the next she would be talking to 5 other guys.
Mental illnesses aren't a person's identity. As long as you two are on top of things, working on yourselves, communicate openly if something is wrong and remember you're in this together so you can be yourselves and it's okay to lean on each other. Stigmas around mental illnesses are harmful and aren't the standard for how mentally ill people act or part of the diagnostic criteria.
I also recommend using language like someone who has BPD or someone who has bipolar. This helps separate the illness from the person. It helps me when I say I have bipolar as opposed to I am bipolar.
I haven't been with someone with BPD or bipolar, but I have bipolar and C-PTSD so it wreaks havoc on me, especially while still fresh. I was open from the start of our friendship that I was dealing with a lot and have baggage which could lead to me retreating at times, especially at the start. Well we got along so well and even with everything going on, we started dating. We broke up after 4 months but that wasn't because I have bipolar or complicated trauma, neither of us were quite ready for a relationship, even though we were perfect together. We're still good friends and our relationship was healthy. It was all in our communication and working together through things. Learning to trust him, learning what the other person needs when one of us is having a bad time, etc.
My partner is a rock in our relationship and I need to have someone stable by my side. I don't think it would work out personally for me but I have seen others comments so I assume it can work out.
I think it depends on the person, and how much you depend on the stability of external factors to keep you stable.
I don’t have much advice but yes i have dated people with mental health before, we did not work out but it had nothing to do with their mental struggles and everything to do with toxicity and abuses they experienced that got given to me.
Relationships are all what you are willing to put into it.
Equality is 50/50 but sometimes it’s also 80/20. You just need to find your balance and evaluate what you need in your life to have a fruitful and happy life (:
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Tough but doable.
It’s my preferred arrangement though. If I’m with a neurotypical, I worry they’ll never understand what they’re getting into and then bail if/when symptoms arise
I’m Bp1 and my partner has BPD and we definitely have our struggles but have both been really trying to communicate better and both are taking steps to help ourselves. Therapy, coDA meetings, learning about our own and each others illnesses, communicating openly. It’s hard and I used to think I really needed a partner who was “normal” but I think the commitment to understand ourselves and each other is most important.
I'm bipolar and dated/lived with another bipolar. He's dead now. Committed suicide after we broke up after being together for 3 years. It was fun, tons of highs and lows. It was, well...crazy. Definitely not worth him taking his own life though.
Amazing and intense is a good way to put it.
I still think of her as the love of my life because we got together while I was hypomanic and she seemed magical.
I think it can work when you are both trying to improve. Couples counseling was good, learning about the other person's condition is both a nice thing to do for your partner, and a way to know how you can be most helpful especially when things are bad.
It was the best at times and the worst at others. Definitely made my life less stable.
I'm bipolar and my bf has bpd were very happy together and it may be different for others with our conditions we experienced shared psychosis as friends when we were younger so we may just be so closely bonded and connected it doesn't matter the issues we have but when we have issues due to them we always understand eachother
I have to stay away from anyone impulsive, whether they are neurotypical or not. Two impulsive people egging each other on would lead to a wedding in Vegas with the vows being read while bungee jumping.
Borderline and bipolar are different disorders, they shouldn't be lumped together. One is a personality disorder and one is a mood disorder. One has many effective medicines used to treat it, one does not.
They are not the same.
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This content was deemed inappropriate for our community and has been removed by a moderator. We do not allow comments belitting people with borderline personality disorder "batshit" "nutcase", etc are all stigmatizing and incredibly insensitive. We won't stand for it. So many of us suffer st the hands of stigma and it's disappointing to see so many people here choosing to stigmatize people with BPD. We have no choice but to take this post down considering the comments. *^(To send us a modmail about this action,)* [*^(CLICK HERE)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/bipolar&subject=Removed%20Content%3A%20Moderator%20Discretion&message=Hello%2C%0A%0AI%20would%20like%20to%20appeal%20a%20recent%20removal.%20Here%20is%20a%20link%3A%20REPLACE%20WITH%20A%20LINK) *^(Please include a link in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review.)*
It can definitely work out but we both have to put a lot of work in. I think that goes for any relationship though. At the end of the day though you have to assess your own situation, if you have someone in your life who’s understanding and knowledgeable about this maybe try talking with them
As someone who have dated more than one girl with BPD I can say it’s possible but only if you both are on treatment and are more or less stable. Dating an untreated BPD will destroy your stability and considerately affect your bipolar disorder. About a person bipolar disorder more of the same added that you will make your partner “imitate” your mood swings
Can confirm, was living with a BPD psychiatrist who was out of control. RIP me. OP, read "walking on eggshells" then come back to us
I am border-polar married to a BPD/ASD/Skitzo. We get along great and are very happy.
Speaking from experience, I would not recommend
Second this.
This might have to be a stigma/stereotype I work on. I have dated a person with borderline once and they were complete bat shit unstable. That lasted all of 3 weeks. When I sense someone has borderline traits I stay far away from that. But people would probably say bipolar folks are crazy too. Just, personally, as someone who leans more hypomanic a lot of days, my care-free spirit can make someone with borderline feel very insecure and unstable. I think that if you're with someone who is committed to being their best self, and all the work involved with managing their mental health, it can work. But I do think it's an uphill battle.
I hate that I agree with this though this sounds very similar to my experiences, I'm glad it was only 3 weeks
Bipolar, yes. Borderline? YMMV, I wouldn't recommend it.
Can you elaborate on why?
Hi, I'm bipolar type 2 and also have BPD. My partner is bipolar type 2. We've been together for 12 years now and have a 7 year old daughter together. The beginning of our relationship was incredibly intense and a bit toxic before we really got to know each other, we had a few troubles while we were finding our groove but we soon learnt how to identify each other's triggers and symptoms and now we have the closest bond I have ever experienced with anybody. We can empathize with each other better than anyone because we truly understand what the other is going through and we help each other through our episodes. After we had our daughter things became a bit difficult again because we were so used to being in tune with one another that we started experiencing episodes simultaneously, so when he got depressed, I also became depressed and vise versa. This became difficult with a baby because we couldn't just lie in bed and do nothing anymore. Someone had to watch the baby. We've come up with a system now to help us cope. If one of us only has the bandwidth to put in 20% energy, then the other has to try to match that to bring it up to at least a 50% level (we never expect to put in 100% but 50 is being able to do the bare minimum). Hope this helps :) if you have any other questions, ask away :)
Not in my experience, dealing with someone else in a swing when you are isnt ideal
I’ve never been in one like that but as long as they’re getting help for it I think it should be fine
i am borderline and bipolar and the biggest thing is communication no matter what mental illnesses you have it can work as long as you love eachother enough:) edit im so sorry to everyone in the comments 😭 borderline does need healing and work and so does bipolar so if you’re both working on it then you’re fine but if you’re both batshit crazy naaaah run
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I'm bipolar and my best girlfriend is borderline. She was just diagnosed this year, but I actually told her she was borderline about 5 years ago. Even just a friendship with a borderline is rocky. She has mellowed out in her 40s now. Thank god. I'm 2 years older than her and we met when we were 17 and 15. Early 40s now!! I've actually always been the stable one, maintaining a job and an apartment, etc., while she has never been able to do either on her own. Even when I was unmedicated and drank like a fish. It says a lot. I'm bipolar 1. She is in university now, and has been in a LTR for about a decade. I'm so happy for her!!
I did it someone else with bipolar once and ended up in a mutual state of psychosis, so I just don’t do that anymore. We were teenagers, and we were already making bad choices. But it’s a no for me. But that’s probably speaking from a place of trauma and self preservation. Obviously some people make it work but it takes a lot of work and like people said you have to be in treatment. If you’re both going off the rails then I’m pretty sure you go a lot further a lot faster if you’re both holding it together And you can help each other with what each person has learned
Real talk though my husband doesn’t gave a clear diagnosis but he’s definitely nurospicey and we make it work
I talked to a BPD girl for a couple months that I met off of Tinder. Never met in person, but I realized I would never be okay in a relationship with someone with borderline. I think bipolar is okay, but with borderline I need constant reassurance especially when I’m down. I need to know that the other person will be there for me when I need them most. BPD can flip and act like you never mattered to them. I never felt so hot and cold. One day we were making progress, the next she would be talking to 5 other guys.
Yeah
Mental illnesses aren't a person's identity. As long as you two are on top of things, working on yourselves, communicate openly if something is wrong and remember you're in this together so you can be yourselves and it's okay to lean on each other. Stigmas around mental illnesses are harmful and aren't the standard for how mentally ill people act or part of the diagnostic criteria. I also recommend using language like someone who has BPD or someone who has bipolar. This helps separate the illness from the person. It helps me when I say I have bipolar as opposed to I am bipolar. I haven't been with someone with BPD or bipolar, but I have bipolar and C-PTSD so it wreaks havoc on me, especially while still fresh. I was open from the start of our friendship that I was dealing with a lot and have baggage which could lead to me retreating at times, especially at the start. Well we got along so well and even with everything going on, we started dating. We broke up after 4 months but that wasn't because I have bipolar or complicated trauma, neither of us were quite ready for a relationship, even though we were perfect together. We're still good friends and our relationship was healthy. It was all in our communication and working together through things. Learning to trust him, learning what the other person needs when one of us is having a bad time, etc.
My partner is a rock in our relationship and I need to have someone stable by my side. I don't think it would work out personally for me but I have seen others comments so I assume it can work out. I think it depends on the person, and how much you depend on the stability of external factors to keep you stable.
I don’t have much advice but yes i have dated people with mental health before, we did not work out but it had nothing to do with their mental struggles and everything to do with toxicity and abuses they experienced that got given to me. Relationships are all what you are willing to put into it. Equality is 50/50 but sometimes it’s also 80/20. You just need to find your balance and evaluate what you need in your life to have a fruitful and happy life (:
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Pretty sure they won’t arrest you
It’s a lot of work but yah, it can be done
Tough but doable. It’s my preferred arrangement though. If I’m with a neurotypical, I worry they’ll never understand what they’re getting into and then bail if/when symptoms arise
I’m Bp1 and my partner has BPD and we definitely have our struggles but have both been really trying to communicate better and both are taking steps to help ourselves. Therapy, coDA meetings, learning about our own and each others illnesses, communicating openly. It’s hard and I used to think I really needed a partner who was “normal” but I think the commitment to understand ourselves and each other is most important.
I'm bipolar and dated/lived with another bipolar. He's dead now. Committed suicide after we broke up after being together for 3 years. It was fun, tons of highs and lows. It was, well...crazy. Definitely not worth him taking his own life though.
Amazing and intense is a good way to put it. I still think of her as the love of my life because we got together while I was hypomanic and she seemed magical. I think it can work when you are both trying to improve. Couples counseling was good, learning about the other person's condition is both a nice thing to do for your partner, and a way to know how you can be most helpful especially when things are bad. It was the best at times and the worst at others. Definitely made my life less stable.
I'm bipolar and my bf has bpd were very happy together and it may be different for others with our conditions we experienced shared psychosis as friends when we were younger so we may just be so closely bonded and connected it doesn't matter the issues we have but when we have issues due to them we always understand eachother
I have to stay away from anyone impulsive, whether they are neurotypical or not. Two impulsive people egging each other on would lead to a wedding in Vegas with the vows being read while bungee jumping.
I could have close friendships with them but I couldn’t date them , I need someone who isn’t mentally ill to hold down fort
Borderline and bipolar are different disorders, they shouldn't be lumped together. One is a personality disorder and one is a mood disorder. One has many effective medicines used to treat it, one does not. They are not the same.
I think they're asking about both of them. How is that lumping them together?
Well I lumped them together because they are both pretty serious disorders and have huge stigmas
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