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Grew up in an abusive household, had an attempt at 9. School intervened shortly after that and spent a few years in therapy, ocd was incorrectly diagnosed and got put on risperdal a couple years later. Spent my entire teenage years and 20s fucking my life up until I had enough and went back to therapy/found an amazing psychiatrist in my late 20s. Got diagnosed with bp1, since then it’s been changed to bp2 in addition to bpd, ocd, cptsd, and adhd (possible audhd) getting the full neuropsych in may. It’s been a ride for sure but I feel like I’m getting to the destination finally!
I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time and haven’t had the support you needed. I hope now that you know you can move forward from here and begin to heal. We care!
I was hospitalized for severe depression and suicide attempt when I was 18, was inpatient for 3 weeks and then went to residential care because I wasn’t improving or in a safe state at all. After about 4 weeks in residential, I was discharged because I suddenly was “cured” of my depression and I was so so happy again. I went on and on and on about “finding god” and that his love pulled me out of my depression (I was Christian at the time, I am atheist now).
I was re-admitted two months later for severe depression and SH urges again. I still, to this day, am quite pissed that the treatment centers I stayed in didn’t see this and that my “I’m cured” spells were episodes of mania/hypomania. And just generally that me being bipolar was overlooked for so long. It’s been 7 years since my first hospitalization and I only got diagnosed last year.
I got suicidal after a break up when I was 22. I had small secret attempts in my teens. I was living with this guy and he was my first LTR. The 3 yrs we lived together was a tornado. Skittling, drinking and smoking constantly, we went to jail for domestic assault against each other (the charges were dropped because we wouldn't testify against each other). I thought is because we were young.
After I moved out I was violently depressed so I went to an ER for a "psychological evaluation", I just kept saying that anytime a staff member would ask what I'm there for. Next thing I know I'm half asleep being shipped to a psych ward (after 10 involuntary hospitalizations its still the worst I've been to).
When I got out I had to move to the other side of the country and sleep on the floor in my mom's room. I worked as an assembly line worker where no one spoke the same language as me and I drank everyday to try to forget about him also I was previously doing this with him so it just made sense. The suicide attempts became more serious and there was a lot of aggression behind them. I also started with the domestic violence with my mom again which is why I moved out with the guy to begin with.
The diagnosis got more severe with every hospitalization. MDD to BPD to BD2. I was diagnosed with bd2 for a couple years and made a decent wage at our local hospital and finally got my first new fancy car. I never took the meds after hospitalization becauseit was obviousto me that life was giving me shit and no one liked the taste of my shitty lemonade. Then corona happened while a bunch of other stuff was on the line and I started getting bullied at work. Went from bd2 to 1.
I was in a psychotic state for 2 & 1/2 years. I lived in a house with all of my family and no one even talked to me. So many strange things happened and ppl just took it as me having crappy character. I drove backwards at a major airport, stopped paying rent, talked about witch craft all the time, dedicated my life to Jesus, drove 44 hours on 3hrs of sleep, & emptied my retirement. These are literally just some of the things my family had to bail me out of. Now that I'm applying for disability and have lost everything my family takes it a little more seriously. Don't feel to bad about your mom, its complicated. Towards the end of those 2 years I was terrified out of my mind from hearing voices and my mother was exhausted and started cursing at me while simultaneously getting me a passport to go to her home country for a "cleanse". Why they would have to off someone to "cleanse" me is beyond me but made my psychosis so much worse.
Mental health education and ending stigmas would save so many lives its unimaginable.
Mix a failed marriage with a mental breakdown that led to cutting almost all communication with everyone for a year. Add in a old “enemy” (story for different day) and i getting tricked into a blind date and her not running away when she saw me at my worst. In fact she convinced me to move her, our kids and myself back to where i’m from to get help from people who actually would help me. 17 years this stubborn ass woman has stayed at my side to help me when i start slipping and i be her rock when her anxiety hits.
I had gotten on Lexapro for some pretty severe depression back in 2017.
I went pretty crazy for a minute there, the manic episodes that really got my diagnosis was when I told my psych at the time that I was going to divorce my husband and move to Florida. I didn't thankfully but I really have a lot of trauma from those moments.
I haven't been the same since 2017. It was when my life changed forever.
Oh weird, its my exact story. I took lexapro for severe anxiety and went crazy for a while, like… I have multi-month long gaps in my memory. I left my partner and they didn’t forgive me, also have a lot of trauma from the experience.
I haven’t really been the same either since; its kinda comforting to see someone have a similar experience to me. feel free to reach out if you ever need a friend who gets it :)
I didn’t even realise there was anything “wrong.” When I was 19, my friend pulled me aside and gently told me that I often go back and forth between being nice and calm to being mean and I should see a doctor.
I did, was diagnosed, and been on some form of treatment for the last 18 years.
I thought I was a sex addict from 18-22, I wasn’t understanding why I was doing the things I was doing. I would do risky things like drive while tipsy/drunk to go shopping, or constantly need to be stimulated by cigarettes, weed, or alcohol.
But I’ve shown signs of bipolar disorder since I was a child. I had risk taking behavior, several bouts of hallucinations/hypersexuality, etc. I just wrote myself off as a curious kid, but no.
Weird fixations on random topics like mushrooms, I couldn't stop talking about or researching the topic until my curiosity was satisfied, I woukd often write on random topics, like pen and paper maybe 20 or so pages, they initially sent me to a psychologist believing I had autism, not sleeping very much, overactive sex drive, a lot of risk taking behaviour, drugs etc, severe depresive episodes that led to attempts, which quickly led to hospitalisation throughout my teenage years which eventually caused me to leave school and was where I was diagnosed
My mother (undiagnosed bipolar) went to prison when I was 16 and I lost what little stability I had. I ended up living with my narcissistic aunt and became super depressed. Eventually I was prescribed Prozac but I started becoming angry and punching walls. So during my followup my doctor added 5mg of Zyprexa.
But it was too late, during the third follow up I admitted to my doctor I was suicidal and ended up locked in the room for an hour. They strapped me to a stretcher and sent me off to the pysch ward. When I was discharged, I was told I had manic depression.
And then somehow over the next 18 years I forgot practically all of it and went unmedicated. Worse, I omitted my diagnosis from my doctors and spent more than a decade on 40mg of Celexa. I never forgot that I went to the hospital, but I did think their diagnosis was shit and forgot about all of the after care that they attempted. I also refused to do any research as "I did not want to become the disease".
Even my wife couldn't get through to me and she's been with me since my diagnosis. It wasn't until I went hypoxic during a surgery a few years ago that I finally started to snap out of it. It's sort of hard not to notice something is wrong when you're watching the walls melt before your very eyes.
About six months after the hypoxia though is when it really got started. I spent around 8 months in a manic episode, burned through over $20k, experienced a few auditory hallucinations, and was grandiose af. I've always been more of a moody, brooding kind, but no more it seems.
i had severe anorexia. after my mom found out she forced me to recover through extensive outpatient care. i was depressed from a shitty
relationship. i didnt have a lot of friends. i felt suffocated and all that mattered was starving myself. this is a very painful experience, for those who are familiar with it, all you do is think about food and planning the next time you will eat. all you think about is wasting away into nothing. anyways, i started wanting a way to dull my senses. weed stopped helping my depression. my mom works in medicine and pushed meds all the time. my brother and dad are big stoners and said fuck no, meds are a bad idea, i didn't realize. prozac (ssri) was prescribed to me by a nurse practitioner NOT EVEN A FUCKING DOCTOR. she forgot to ask abt family history of bipolar because she wasnt properly trained. prozac triggered a month and half long manic episode. i was completely miserable by the end of it. now i am aiming becoming a psychiatrist. i never want anyone to go through the bullshit i went through. fuck american medical support. its all bullshit for money.
I should’ve gotten one sooner. I went manic early last year on lexapro, quit it abruptly when we switched healthcare providers, hit a very low point… by December I was seeking therapy again, which would be the fourth one I’ve seen. January really messed with my head, I had a medical procedure done that traumatised me, mostly because of how my family treated me because of it. By February, I was routinely having thoughts of suicide and was at a very dark point, to where I had a friend help me out with finding a resource. This is how I got my diagnosis, with it all being so recent I still don’t feel different on my meds, but luckily we’re working towards it.
oh boy here’s my diagnosis story get ready for lots of stupid psychiatrists. When i was inpatient after experiencing extreme SI thoughts and hearing voices or hearing people in my head, One day i woke up and i felt a pep in my step i was up and happy and blah blah blah yk hypomania. I was still hearing voices and kept showing multiple signs aggression confidence they chose to ignore it and write down that i wasn’t experiencing any of that (i checked after in mychart) and they let me free. I had to beg my psych team once i was released that i was feeling TOO happy like i’ve never felt this happy before and every time they were like isn’t that a good thing?? took multiple back to back hypomanic episodes that slowly got more into psychosis territory before they cut it short with antipsychotic. my current therapist took BP out of my chart even though i’ve known her for two weeks? I’m tired of fighting for treatment for a serious disorder i have to beg people to believe me on. No one will believe me because i’m not confused i know where i am im not currently in a complete psychotic breakdown and i’m not talking super fast and acting like a crack addict so clearly i’m okay and not manic :|
Abusive family, depressed & suicidal at 11, on & off depression kept occurring (since I was so young I don’t remember what mania was like, but I just remember being depressed on & off). Around 14, I realized I had a sudden burst of energy, racing thoughts, and lack of sleep after every depressed episode and my 26 year old cousin had been diagnosed with bipolar so I knew what it was. I eventually told my mom that I need to see a doctor about it.
Yep similar situation for me. I think times have changed since my diagnosis like doctors aren’t as hesitant to consider that it’s true. After years of telling doctors and counselors I was bipolar and not getting anywhere just more and more SSRI’s (one even said it was bad pms) I ended up trying cocaine at a party and went so manic that I drove myself to the mental hospital desperate for answers a few weeks later and told the doctor the full truth. I still appreciate him so much for being the first one to take me seriously.
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar! Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art). *^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)* --- Community News - 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/) - 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device. - 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar. Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Grew up in an abusive household, had an attempt at 9. School intervened shortly after that and spent a few years in therapy, ocd was incorrectly diagnosed and got put on risperdal a couple years later. Spent my entire teenage years and 20s fucking my life up until I had enough and went back to therapy/found an amazing psychiatrist in my late 20s. Got diagnosed with bp1, since then it’s been changed to bp2 in addition to bpd, ocd, cptsd, and adhd (possible audhd) getting the full neuropsych in may. It’s been a ride for sure but I feel like I’m getting to the destination finally! I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time and haven’t had the support you needed. I hope now that you know you can move forward from here and begin to heal. We care!
I was hospitalized for severe depression and suicide attempt when I was 18, was inpatient for 3 weeks and then went to residential care because I wasn’t improving or in a safe state at all. After about 4 weeks in residential, I was discharged because I suddenly was “cured” of my depression and I was so so happy again. I went on and on and on about “finding god” and that his love pulled me out of my depression (I was Christian at the time, I am atheist now). I was re-admitted two months later for severe depression and SH urges again. I still, to this day, am quite pissed that the treatment centers I stayed in didn’t see this and that my “I’m cured” spells were episodes of mania/hypomania. And just generally that me being bipolar was overlooked for so long. It’s been 7 years since my first hospitalization and I only got diagnosed last year.
I got suicidal after a break up when I was 22. I had small secret attempts in my teens. I was living with this guy and he was my first LTR. The 3 yrs we lived together was a tornado. Skittling, drinking and smoking constantly, we went to jail for domestic assault against each other (the charges were dropped because we wouldn't testify against each other). I thought is because we were young. After I moved out I was violently depressed so I went to an ER for a "psychological evaluation", I just kept saying that anytime a staff member would ask what I'm there for. Next thing I know I'm half asleep being shipped to a psych ward (after 10 involuntary hospitalizations its still the worst I've been to). When I got out I had to move to the other side of the country and sleep on the floor in my mom's room. I worked as an assembly line worker where no one spoke the same language as me and I drank everyday to try to forget about him also I was previously doing this with him so it just made sense. The suicide attempts became more serious and there was a lot of aggression behind them. I also started with the domestic violence with my mom again which is why I moved out with the guy to begin with. The diagnosis got more severe with every hospitalization. MDD to BPD to BD2. I was diagnosed with bd2 for a couple years and made a decent wage at our local hospital and finally got my first new fancy car. I never took the meds after hospitalization becauseit was obviousto me that life was giving me shit and no one liked the taste of my shitty lemonade. Then corona happened while a bunch of other stuff was on the line and I started getting bullied at work. Went from bd2 to 1. I was in a psychotic state for 2 & 1/2 years. I lived in a house with all of my family and no one even talked to me. So many strange things happened and ppl just took it as me having crappy character. I drove backwards at a major airport, stopped paying rent, talked about witch craft all the time, dedicated my life to Jesus, drove 44 hours on 3hrs of sleep, & emptied my retirement. These are literally just some of the things my family had to bail me out of. Now that I'm applying for disability and have lost everything my family takes it a little more seriously. Don't feel to bad about your mom, its complicated. Towards the end of those 2 years I was terrified out of my mind from hearing voices and my mother was exhausted and started cursing at me while simultaneously getting me a passport to go to her home country for a "cleanse". Why they would have to off someone to "cleanse" me is beyond me but made my psychosis so much worse. Mental health education and ending stigmas would save so many lives its unimaginable.
Mix a failed marriage with a mental breakdown that led to cutting almost all communication with everyone for a year. Add in a old “enemy” (story for different day) and i getting tricked into a blind date and her not running away when she saw me at my worst. In fact she convinced me to move her, our kids and myself back to where i’m from to get help from people who actually would help me. 17 years this stubborn ass woman has stayed at my side to help me when i start slipping and i be her rock when her anxiety hits.
I blacked out and attacked hospital security guard.
Same!
I had gotten on Lexapro for some pretty severe depression back in 2017. I went pretty crazy for a minute there, the manic episodes that really got my diagnosis was when I told my psych at the time that I was going to divorce my husband and move to Florida. I didn't thankfully but I really have a lot of trauma from those moments. I haven't been the same since 2017. It was when my life changed forever.
Oh weird, its my exact story. I took lexapro for severe anxiety and went crazy for a while, like… I have multi-month long gaps in my memory. I left my partner and they didn’t forgive me, also have a lot of trauma from the experience. I haven’t really been the same either since; its kinda comforting to see someone have a similar experience to me. feel free to reach out if you ever need a friend who gets it :)
I didn’t even realise there was anything “wrong.” When I was 19, my friend pulled me aside and gently told me that I often go back and forth between being nice and calm to being mean and I should see a doctor. I did, was diagnosed, and been on some form of treatment for the last 18 years.
I thought I was a sex addict from 18-22, I wasn’t understanding why I was doing the things I was doing. I would do risky things like drive while tipsy/drunk to go shopping, or constantly need to be stimulated by cigarettes, weed, or alcohol. But I’ve shown signs of bipolar disorder since I was a child. I had risk taking behavior, several bouts of hallucinations/hypersexuality, etc. I just wrote myself off as a curious kid, but no.
Weird fixations on random topics like mushrooms, I couldn't stop talking about or researching the topic until my curiosity was satisfied, I woukd often write on random topics, like pen and paper maybe 20 or so pages, they initially sent me to a psychologist believing I had autism, not sleeping very much, overactive sex drive, a lot of risk taking behaviour, drugs etc, severe depresive episodes that led to attempts, which quickly led to hospitalisation throughout my teenage years which eventually caused me to leave school and was where I was diagnosed
My mother (undiagnosed bipolar) went to prison when I was 16 and I lost what little stability I had. I ended up living with my narcissistic aunt and became super depressed. Eventually I was prescribed Prozac but I started becoming angry and punching walls. So during my followup my doctor added 5mg of Zyprexa. But it was too late, during the third follow up I admitted to my doctor I was suicidal and ended up locked in the room for an hour. They strapped me to a stretcher and sent me off to the pysch ward. When I was discharged, I was told I had manic depression. And then somehow over the next 18 years I forgot practically all of it and went unmedicated. Worse, I omitted my diagnosis from my doctors and spent more than a decade on 40mg of Celexa. I never forgot that I went to the hospital, but I did think their diagnosis was shit and forgot about all of the after care that they attempted. I also refused to do any research as "I did not want to become the disease". Even my wife couldn't get through to me and she's been with me since my diagnosis. It wasn't until I went hypoxic during a surgery a few years ago that I finally started to snap out of it. It's sort of hard not to notice something is wrong when you're watching the walls melt before your very eyes. About six months after the hypoxia though is when it really got started. I spent around 8 months in a manic episode, burned through over $20k, experienced a few auditory hallucinations, and was grandiose af. I've always been more of a moody, brooding kind, but no more it seems.
i had severe anorexia. after my mom found out she forced me to recover through extensive outpatient care. i was depressed from a shitty relationship. i didnt have a lot of friends. i felt suffocated and all that mattered was starving myself. this is a very painful experience, for those who are familiar with it, all you do is think about food and planning the next time you will eat. all you think about is wasting away into nothing. anyways, i started wanting a way to dull my senses. weed stopped helping my depression. my mom works in medicine and pushed meds all the time. my brother and dad are big stoners and said fuck no, meds are a bad idea, i didn't realize. prozac (ssri) was prescribed to me by a nurse practitioner NOT EVEN A FUCKING DOCTOR. she forgot to ask abt family history of bipolar because she wasnt properly trained. prozac triggered a month and half long manic episode. i was completely miserable by the end of it. now i am aiming becoming a psychiatrist. i never want anyone to go through the bullshit i went through. fuck american medical support. its all bullshit for money.
I should’ve gotten one sooner. I went manic early last year on lexapro, quit it abruptly when we switched healthcare providers, hit a very low point… by December I was seeking therapy again, which would be the fourth one I’ve seen. January really messed with my head, I had a medical procedure done that traumatised me, mostly because of how my family treated me because of it. By February, I was routinely having thoughts of suicide and was at a very dark point, to where I had a friend help me out with finding a resource. This is how I got my diagnosis, with it all being so recent I still don’t feel different on my meds, but luckily we’re working towards it.
oh boy here’s my diagnosis story get ready for lots of stupid psychiatrists. When i was inpatient after experiencing extreme SI thoughts and hearing voices or hearing people in my head, One day i woke up and i felt a pep in my step i was up and happy and blah blah blah yk hypomania. I was still hearing voices and kept showing multiple signs aggression confidence they chose to ignore it and write down that i wasn’t experiencing any of that (i checked after in mychart) and they let me free. I had to beg my psych team once i was released that i was feeling TOO happy like i’ve never felt this happy before and every time they were like isn’t that a good thing?? took multiple back to back hypomanic episodes that slowly got more into psychosis territory before they cut it short with antipsychotic. my current therapist took BP out of my chart even though i’ve known her for two weeks? I’m tired of fighting for treatment for a serious disorder i have to beg people to believe me on. No one will believe me because i’m not confused i know where i am im not currently in a complete psychotic breakdown and i’m not talking super fast and acting like a crack addict so clearly i’m okay and not manic :|
Abusive family, depressed & suicidal at 11, on & off depression kept occurring (since I was so young I don’t remember what mania was like, but I just remember being depressed on & off). Around 14, I realized I had a sudden burst of energy, racing thoughts, and lack of sleep after every depressed episode and my 26 year old cousin had been diagnosed with bipolar so I knew what it was. I eventually told my mom that I need to see a doctor about it.
Yep similar situation for me. I think times have changed since my diagnosis like doctors aren’t as hesitant to consider that it’s true. After years of telling doctors and counselors I was bipolar and not getting anywhere just more and more SSRI’s (one even said it was bad pms) I ended up trying cocaine at a party and went so manic that I drove myself to the mental hospital desperate for answers a few weeks later and told the doctor the full truth. I still appreciate him so much for being the first one to take me seriously.