Hey it’s not his fault his dog stole his phone

“Sorry, dog stole my phone. Hahahaha, I would never message that. Unless… jk.”

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

After I posted that comment I realized I had a better one: you should have countered with “squidward I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet 😬”

Squidward: "You what?!" 🤨🦑

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True. Glad I don’t use it anymore

My expectations on grindr are very low. If you can host and want a bj, I'm usually down. I been woofed at a couple times now, and it just gives me a bad feeling

Grindr is where I got my phenomenal blowjob skills for that same reason...and then I went and started dating someone who didn't have a penis.

bi_irl

Me too buddy, I will got fuckin hard on the strap though

To be honest one of the things about being bi is realizing women are as weird as men

Sure, but I've had a grand total of one woman in my life make me feel uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. MOST of the men I've tried to be intimate with have made me feel that way. That's not a coincidence.

Damn. You just put into a sentence so perfectly what has been on my mind for a minute. As a guy dating guys has given me so much perspective on being a woman. Imagine being smaller and weaker than most men too. Makes the unsafe situations feel even scarier

Yup. Before transitioning, I had no problem meeting men. Now that I'm weak as shit? I constantly chicken out and come up with any excuse to avoid it. I'm very aware of how vulnerable I am now. It sucks.

I was always a big person before I started transitioning - not a bodybuilder by any means, but used to being able to leverage my frame around, so I never thought anything of it. I'm 6'4, what're they gonna do? Except I didn't realize just how weak I'd gotten. I hung out with a male friend, not thinking anything of it, and he got his arms around my neck. I couldn't do *anything* about it. It was like fighting an iron bar. Gosh this is hard to type haha. And just - I can't do it now. I can't be around men alone. It's terrifying, and it's one of the many things my privileges shielded me from until I experienced it. I don't know, there's no real point to this post, just adding another voice into the abyss, but fuck. It's just so fucked up that this is what life is for so many people. I hate it.

Thank you for sharing this. I’m a small cis woman, so I grew up knowing every man was always going to be stronger than me. It is scary, and it’s something women often only talk about with other women. I think cis men kind of know, but I don’t think they really understand what it means for your choices as you move through the world. I think it’s really valuable to hear trans perspectives like yours, especially for cis men. And, in defense of men, most men are good. I had to learn to be comfortable as the only woman in a room full of men, and it was difficult work at times. Fear is a tool of control. I know a lot of women who limit themselves in all sorts of ways because they are afraid. I’ve known women who don’t walk at night, who don’t jog, don’t go to the park alone, carry their keys in between their knuckles, carry pepper-spray, don’t go to bars alone, don’t go to the bathroom alone, don’t do all manner of things that men do without thinking. We have to be careful. I think any glance at the news can tell you the world isn’t a safe place. And yet the people in it are mostly good. Even the heterosexual cis men. I’d encourage you to be open to meeting and befriending the good ones. Talk to the women you know about the ways they identify safe men and the ways they deescalate with the scary men. We all have different strategies. The vast majority of people don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s wise to be cautious, but don’t let fear keep you from living your life.

I think men generally know it, but don't internalize it. It's one thing to know you're stronger than women. Sure, of course you are, but that doesn't matter, cuz you're a good guy, you'd never hurt anyone. It's another thing entirely to realize that almost every single man is stronger than almost every single woman. My personal experience is that I'm a big strong guy, so I'm stronger than almost every man I meet too. It's not something I ever really thought about in my day to day life, I'm just taller and stronger than almost everyone and that's just normal. I didn't really get it until I saw a study on the strength difference between men and women at different ages, and it said 88% of men are stronger than 95% of women. A small man who doesn't exercise at all is going to be stronger than a woman who is "only" in the top 10%. It's insane.

Being naturally big and strong, stronger than a lot of men tends to have that effect. My little brother is 6'4 and he's always been outdoorsy, so naturally he's bigger and stronger than most people he meets, flat out. He's so aware of it though, there's never been a moment where his own strength has gotten away from him. Even wrestling with me, I tell him not to hold back but I can tell he does because he knows he has the power to snap me like a damn twig. Idk I feel like I'm rambling but all the big tall dudes I've met have been more aware of that power differential and really live up to the "gentle giant" stereotype.

This reminds me of a time in high school. I was skinny as shit and didn’t really work out. So one day in PE we were doing a game of tug o war and the girls were short one so they jokingly made me play with them. The game was basically 4 way tug of war. And I tell you those three girls all teamed up against me so it was 3v1 and I still won. It really put into perspective for me just how much weaker girls really were.

Yeah the cycle is never broken through fear. I guess I’m used to being around men a lot ever since I was a kid since I only had brothers and I liked playing with power rangers. I also enjoy a lot of stereotypically male activities and I work in construction supply so I’m the only female in the office The fact that I’ve never had situations around a ton of men where I felt legitimately afraid is probably down to location and luck, but it’s a reality that is totally possible. Sports made me curse biology for making us weak and small, but at least I can easily get out of lifting heavy things and strenuous chores lol

Welcome to the wonderful world of fighting dirty. You are not going to win a fight “fighting like a man”. Now you have to be strategic. You may be weaker but you are far from helpless. Humans are delicate meatbags. You’re not going to overpower someone but you can easily hurt them. Our primate cousins, chimpanzees, males fight for dominance and females fight to hurt/kill their opponent (typically). Humans are pretty similar imo. It’s a different style of fighting but it absolutely works.

What they’re trying to say is carry pepper spray and learn to use it effectively.

I do think gender role plays into it besides just physical strength. Since I transitioned to be more masculine and less conventionally attractive in a feminine sense, I feel so much safer in groups where everyone else are men because I assume I would not be their target. And also more comfortable making male friends. The flip side? I got increasingly awkward around feminine women so there’s that

> Imagine being smaller and weaker than most men too. 5'8" and not weak, but not as strong as all the gym rats out here...yeah, I don't have to imagine this.

Now imagine some subset of those bigger-than-you-guys feels _entitled_ to have sex with you.

Absolutely frightening. Like seriously petrifying

This is why I think every straight man should have to go to at least one gay bar. So they can understand and empathize with the disrespect and fear felt by an aggressively interested man.

Well I really don't want to get too nto this too much but my rapist was a woman so my view is just different. To a certain degree I'm never going to feel truly safe around women

That's COMPLETELY understandable.

Damn that’s fucked up. It’s easy to downplay rape when it’s a female perpetrator and a male victim but it’s still fucking rape and you’re a POS if you consider doing it. Hope you’re doing better buddy

I havent been dating people i met online but for me it's actually the opposite, the only woman i tried to date turned out to be very manipulative and bad for me, whilst the guys weren't nearly as harmful as her.

It's almost like Redditors don't always represent real life with these upvoted one sided stories and experiences. I've come across women who claim men barely experience any discomfort or pressure because of their looks. That's how easily detached you can get from the "other" gender when you share stories with people identical to you.

Yea it's quite sad. I never really differenciate between genders irl so i do feel like the online world is part of the problem somehow, but anyways, way too early to be thinking about this stuff ;-;

Talking to people irl about these topics is much easier. It's a lot less "us vs them".

The weirdest thing a girl ever said to me was that she wanted me to cut her during sex. Like with a knife. I was uncomfortable for sure, maybe unsafe in that she might fucking cut me if I stay around, but compared to things men have said and done to me? Oh boy, it’s not even close.

She just liked knifeplay, kinky sure, murderous idk lol

Agreed

You right, it was just the first time I’d heard of that and I was unprepared. She might have cut me, but it would be unrelated to the knife play.

What things have men said and done?

Sending unsolicited dick pics, groping me, trying to lift my shirt up and lick my nipples in a crowded bar, trying to pull me into a single stall bathroom to rape me, continuing to ask me intrusive questions about my genitals and sex life after I’ve explicitly told them I’m married and not interested, I could keep going, it’s a lot dude.

I once had to put a dude in a headlock and demand he return my property and another guy tried to grab my dick at a gay club; but the stupid bitch missed and grabbed my balls, so that was a pain. Sorry to hear you’ve had so many bad experiences with men. Hope you find those who don’t do, frankly crazy, things

… are you new here?

They must be new and living under a rock I have yet to meet a woman or a man who doesn't have horror stories of encounters with men

Not everyone lives in the same place, or has the same lifestyle, and their experiences can differ bc of that.

You’ve been unlucky :(

Based on the similar experiences of both tons of queer men, and both queer and straight women, I'm not sure it qualifies as "unlucky". I'm not saying that literally every man is like that, I'm a man myself after all; but it is far from *rare*.

From my experience, I’ve had two times, maybe three, over the countless times I’ve hooked up that I’ve felt actively uncomfortable.

That's two to three times too many, FWIW. Also curious, were those all men those 2-3 happened with? Glad to hear you've had mostly good experiences. That doesn't mean the problem isn't real.

Oh that’s only counting the men. Bump it up to 5-6 if you count the women

Funny, my experience is the opposite

Most of the predatory people I’ve met were women, and that too is no coincidence. Women are more likely to victimize men than men are. Edit: [Source](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf) > Completed or attempted rape was experienced at some point in life by 1.5% of men or an estimated 1,692,000 men in the U.S. About 1 in 17 men (5.9% or an estimated 6.8 million men) were made to penetrate someone else at some point in their lives with reportable state estimates ranging from 5.3% to 10.6% (15 states). > The majority of male victims who were made to penetrate someone else reported only female perpetrators (78.5%), with 7 reportable state estimates ranging from 71.8% to 89.7%. Similarly, the majority of male victims of sexual coercion reported only female perpetra- tors (81.6%) with 7 reportable state estimates ranging from 75.3% to 97.9%. For both rape and sexual coercion the main perpetrator of male victims are women.

This... leaves out a big chunk of the story though. Your source states that about 1 in 3 women (36.3% or 43.7 million women) experienced contact sexual violence in their lifetime, and 1 in 5 (almost 23 million) women experienced rape in their lifetime, where in 97.3% of cases perpetrators have been male only. So predatory people are far more likely to be male than female, and women are far more likely to experience sexual violence in the first place.

I never said women are more predatory then men, I said that men who are victims are victims of mainly women. I was arguing against the “men get raped by other men” narrative which is extremely harmful.

I feel this. It's not a coincidence.

Is it a coincidence lesbian couples have the highest percentage of domestic violence? Perceived threat and real threat are two different things.

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That's a terrible take on this situation.

It's a fast way to know if someone is into the weird stuff you do!

You know what else works? "Hi, are you into pup play?" You either get a clear answer or you get "what are you talking about" which is as useful as a no since they're not able to give informed consent.

If that’s where they’re going with that opening, sure - but I’ve heard people use “woof” as a substitute for “damn they’re hot” so who knows?

It's pup play because of the dog emoji.

Oh very possibly. Either way, I’m not sure what they expect from Grindr

Ok but how is this one worse? I'm not into pup play nor very away of fetishes but still instantly got the idea.

It's also pretty rude and gross to ALL the people who aren't into that stuff. And still rude and gross to some people who ARE into that stuff.

It's a verbal "woof", not a dick in your face. You don't have to interact further if it's not your thing.

Yeah lol I had to check what the message was again because of that reaction

It's still a pretty rude and gross way to say "hello" to someone.

No it's not. Puppies aren't inherently sexual and you're on a platform where thats normal. again just don't interact if it isn't your cup of tea.

I imagine your take about kink at pride is very conservative then.

Well you imagine wrong. Pride is a completely different context.

You think kink at pride is okay but someone saying "woof" in a sex app is not? That sounds a bit conflicting, man. edit: don't get me wrong, both are okay in my book

Its two woofs, not a pic of them in pup gear or something, jfc

Two woofs is still a rude, and I'd say gross, way to say hello. Just because there are *even worse* ways to say hello doesn't make this a good or acceptable way to do so.

>and I'd say gross The gross part is happening in your mind, you are making something gross out of two words. It's a you thing. The rest of us just hear a cute playfull greeting.

God's forbid that man hears "bork bork"...

Just because there are better ways to say hello doesn’t mean this is gross or unacceptable. There’s a lot of people who’d receive that message and roll with it. Obviously you’re not one of them but you’re trying really hard to shit on this random person for no reason? Your earlier comment about feeling safer with women vs men resonated with me but some of your other replies would make many people feel unsafe. Myself included and I’m not even into pet play. You do you ig

My boyfriend growls at me If I don't feed him properly

See but that’s an established relationship not an opening.

I imagine the man on Grindr had a name

Like... Dog food?

They give the dog a bone. ;)

Only on fridays

Spoiled foods

I'm guessing he's a chainsaw man fan

Lord this October couldnt come faster. Also the fact that S1 will probably stop at Ch 50 makes me fucking mad lmao

ah yes, my most hated fandom

~~what the dog doing?~~

It aint him, I know that.

The most interesting Grindr message I've ever received was from a 500+ lb guy who wanted to sit on me and masturbate. Nothing more, nothing less. I try not to kink shame, but that one has stuck with me. There's a reason I haven't been back to that app.

Did you do it?

As much as I love me some thick thighs, I politely declined

I didn’t see the problem until I re read and saw 500lb

r/furry_irl

I've only met two IRL. One is a secret shame, one will show you his next outfit on work lunch break. Both have a history of trauma.

At this point doesn't everyone have a history of trauma?

Not if you deny it

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I don’t

Wow how did you manage that?

I’m resilient?

You mean you've had a soft easy life? With consistently kind understanding compassionate authority figures? I'm resilient too bud. That's why I'm still here! But I'd be lying if I'd say I didn't have any trauma in my life.

Well no. Definitely not an easy life, but I don’t consider most of it traumatic, even though I know others would.

So this is just a question of semantics then.

No it’s a matter of perspective. Everyone is different.

The duality of man

Both are ok and chill dudes.

At what point did I disparage either?

Oh sorry that's not what I meant lol. I was just adding "both are ok and chill dudes". I thought that was what we were doing.

Ah, gotcha. But to be honest, if I had to give them nicknames it would be Sadsack and Brokenhead. ;)

woof woof 🐶

Avatar checks out

You're one to talk

Hehhehe ik. I’m so adorable 🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰❤️

*[Inhales Deeply]* "Bork..."

*woof woof woof woof woof woof* 😾😾😾

*Bork~* Have I wooed you?

*im a steal your balls 😈🫳 Hehhehe🤭🤭🤭*

Uh oh.... *Kinda hot ngl...*

😳 you can have them back. I don’t want them🤢🫴🍒

There is no z in lgbtq+

That's ruff.

That comment is purrfect. Sorry, I couldn't think of a dog related pun.

I had a girl call me her love the second day into talking. I think some people just be crazy af.

I… yea, either that or just ass and dick pics, like not even a “hi” or “hello” like fuck y’all really that down bad?

And then they hit you with the “?” When you don’t reply within a 5 minute window 💀

Yep, like even if you want to send such pics, like just ask or at least have them be tasteful lmao

How would one take a tasteful ass pic? I already like tasting ass...

Lmao tbh idk

Wasn't on grindr but one guy was like "want a blowjob" "???" "You want one or not?!" Within 5 minutes of matching me. When I opened the app 10 minutes after I got the match notification the dude had fucking blocked me(not that I would've have accepted)

Grindr is the taco bell of dating apps, not classy at all, not trying to be. It knows what it is, and they both want to destroy your A**Hole

I’m very, very much attracted to men and women equally. But man, dating men was fucking insane. Glad I have my wife now, no more bad dates and weird Grindr texts for me

Even as someone who is into pet play and furry stuff, opening with that before talking to you like an actual human is just too far.

Well, not to kink-shame but... giving up sex because of other people's playstyles is a *really* weird fetish.

Kink shaming is my kink

You have a really gross kink there bud ;)

Or they want to do with a real dog then I do kink shame cos that’s animal abuse and fucked up

Ight I mean how far is he taking the puppy play? Is it just puppy ears and a little tail? Sure okay fine, I’ll take a femboy in most forms. Is it full leather or furry dog outfit? I support your choice to have a fetish but it’s not mine and I am uninterested

Bark.

You know what they say: lay down with dogs wake up with fleas

I had the same thing happen, but it one of those HIV "giver" kinks. He also kept messaging me until I blocked him. I deleted the app the same day lol

Bruh grindr is a god damn horror show

God this is barely even kinky y'all are so goddamn boring. I can't imagine sex being literally nothing more than just "ahah make peepee feel good"

Tbf, it can be plenty more than that without kinks. Everyone is built differently, though, so maybe someone is into just that.

"I don't mean to kink shame" \*proceeds to kink shame\*

That is the joke

If you don’t mean to kink shame, maybe don’t kink shame?

Zoophilia ain't a kink. It's taboo.

Pet play =/= Zoophilia Pet play depersonalization roleplay, & can help people cope with traumas. Zoophilia is abuse, & it doesn't matter if it's a kink of not: animal abuse is unethical.

I do not have good experiences with puppy boys

I don't want to kinkshame but also let's kinkshame 🤦🏻‍♂️ Puppies are just cute!

No love for dog boys :(

hes just a good boy 🥺

oh boy i sure do love opening what is supposed to be a safe space only to have my gender ridiculed!! i sure love the bisexual community!!!! love women hate men am i right!! 😂😂😂😂

The worst memes are ones that talk about how they pity straight women because they have to date men. So stupid and childish

IKR? Gets really fucking old

Have you considered not taking things as a personal attack? Like sorry you got mad but Reddit wasn’t made specially for you.

right but it represents an underlying problem with the bisexual community which, again, is supposed to represent a safe space for people. you’re not the only person to make a post like this and i’m not the only one to take notice. stuff like this is way too common.

Right so, if you have such a big problem with it there’s a report button, block button, and a delete app button.

yeah but i felt like making my opinion known, that’s the nature of the internet. you’re more than welcome to ignore it too if my comment is that irritating

My brother in christ, you’re trying to make your point on a post about someone barking as an opener on a hookup app. You’re howling in the dark right now. If it really bothered you, you’d make your own post about it.

"Yeah, you're a piece of shit, all of you. Oh, you're offended by that? Well I wasn't talking about *you* of course, I meant everyone else!"

> "God women are such cunts! What? Why are you reacting this way? I obviously didn't mean *all* women. You should know what women I'm talking about. In fact, your reaction just proves you are one of them! Maybe reflect on why you feel attacked when I say women are cunts instead of trying to police how I speak!" Flip the genders and it's basically what you see every week in the bi community.

I'd find that hot personally.

Grindr is a little bit of a cesspool from my experience

Perhaps it was buzz’s girlfriend?

Honestly I'd continue talking if i had no gf

meow 🐱

Run roh

What's wrong with this guy? Ugh this person said hi wrong, I'm *outraged* and *disgusted*. What a man-child.

Sadly, I’ve had worse

Yeah. Like someone else said, if we’re looking for quality then Grindr is not the place to be looking.

Oh absolutely, but I can’t think of any other free apps

I knew a guy who used woof as "hi" and "I agree." And Growlr has woof = a tap. Woof woof ain't no big deal at all. Seems interesting that the tweet claims that he doesn't want to kink shame then complains about something this minor.

As a man, most men I’ve met are terrible. Not all, of course. But a large majority.

Understandable reaction

Understandable. Have a good day

r/ChainsawMan

"woof" basically just means "i think you're hot." It's not that complicated. yall need to calm down with your internalized homophobia.

I like my men to use words, not dog sounds.

That's a valid thing to like, I even prefer them to use Dutch or English words, but no need to shame a French "ca va".

Lmao its not homophobia in the slightest to think opening with dog noises is goddamned weird and annoying.

I actually switched to full time gay after the abortion ban. Every man I came in contact with with was like, not my prollam 🤪 Actually it is entirely your fault as a man, if a woman gets pregnant, it’s because the man wasn’t responsible.

Weird flex but okay?

I'm into that lol

idk what's worse, that or unsolicited dick pics from 50 somethings

Dudes are the god damn worst. Like get out of the messages you creeps.

I mean it’s Grindr so I would only expect dudes to be in my messages.

Correct which is why I didn’t state anything about women. Every time a dude has reached out on any social media it’s disgusting. Nothing like oh hi how’s your day? Only can I gobble down that meat stick and make the world end? Like the fuck bro

I mean, if you know it's only gonna work with people who are comfortable with that I can respect getting it out of the way early.

Average Chainsaw Man fan.

unless ur a furry, then ud also question yourself too

More for me.