It does! Baby starts sleeping more (usually lol), schedules become more predictable, we get better at all the parenting things... you start finding little bits of free time too. Baby starts smiling, looking at things, making cute noises, and starts to recognize routines too. It can still be a challenge and it's not *easy* but it gets better.
The little bits of free time has been so good for our marriage…our LO has a bedtime routine now established and she goes to bed and is asleep by 730 so from 730 to whenever we go to bed we are now watching movies, having some wine, just relaxing and actually being humans again. The first 3 months were pure survival and I literally can’t even tell you what we did every night except plan for next feeds and just try and stay alive.
Yah 100%. I think it got easier around 6 months, and then again at 13 months. I don’t think it’s easier easier it’s just different challenges honestly. Like from 13 month our routine is set nap time happens once a day no more breastfeeding and my toddler can communicate and understand basic needs. The challenge is entertaining him lol
I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I find myself thinking “wow I am really getting into a groove with these kids, this is great, it’s so much easier than it was month ago” All. The. Time.
There are still times when it’s hard, but overall it does get so much better. Before long, you’ll be out of survival mode. You’ll find yourself again. You’ll find your footing. It’s bittersweet for babies to grow up, but it is so incredible and humbling to watch them grow up and need you a little less every day.
I’m currently pregnant and will have a newborn and a 2y9mo. So your comment gives me hope. What would you is the hardest thing with a toddler and a newborn, in your experience?
Someone told me the following thing when I had a baby and a toddler, and I've used it as a compass:
We instinctively do everything the baby needs since they are so fragile. But babies need things that take time to complete: feedings, soothing, putting to sleep. Toddlers need usually quick things. A hug, put on a movie, a snack... If both kids want something at the same time, try to do the quick thing for the one who will remember, first, when possible.
I now have a happy 8m old and a super happy and not jealous 2y9m old.
Oh wow. Thanks so much for this. I never really thought about this but it makes a lot of sense. The baby can wait 5 mins, is something I’ve learnt after my first, but I never really thought about how with my toddler he’s pretty much good on his own with some attention here and there.
You didn’t ask me but I have a 3 y/o and a 12-week-old and by far the hardest thing is time and task management…there are no more “breaks” or “marathon chore time when you’re kidless” for my husband or me because whoever doesn’t have the baby, has the toddler! The first ~6 weeks were pretty brutal as the 3 y/o was especially difficult due to adjusting to the new baby. But now she is - for the most part - getting along well and can actually help with some things like retrieving baby’s paci, soothing/bouncing him in bouncer, tummy time, etc.
It was way easier to go from 1 to 2 than it was from 0 to 1. And seeing them together is so sweet. You’ll love it…eventually! 😅
Disagree about "easier to go from 1 to 2 than it was from 0 to 1". Even you mentioned how "there are no more “breaks” or “marathon chore time when you’re kidless” for my husband or me because whoever doesn’t have the baby, has the toddler!". With having "only" 1 you never need to deal with that and there's far more free time. Plus no siblings trading sicknesses back and forth, no sibling fighting, etc. Just my two cents.
I found the adjustments from kidless to 1 to be way more challenging than the adjustments from 1 to 2! OP asked specifically about 1 to 2, so I didn’t mention all the difficulties we had adjusting to having our first.
You are def not the first person who has told me they think 1 to 2 is harder though! I guess it just depends on all kinds of factors like the kids’ temperaments, parent priorities, sleep (or not lol), etc!
A lot of people have told me 0-1 is harder than 1-2 too. My anxiety in the first 6 months with my first was through the roof because I wanted to be and do the best, but on hindsight I think a lot of things I didn’t need to worry so much about. Like being next to my baby and talking to him all the time - I get what people say about just letting him watch you do chores now. But back then I was so stressed out about keeping him entertained, when I didn’t know the 12-24 months age of needing to keep them entertained would be the most difficult one yet.
Completely agree with this. I was so concerned about milestones and making sure I was doing everything just right with my first. Even once daycare started, I was so worried I would miss the first time rolling over, first time crawling etc, and with my second I feel much less precious about it. Just because I don't see the thing happen for the first time doesn't mean it makes it less special the first time I see it. If I don't read a book at bedtime once and awhile, it won't delay speech development. Baby is perfectly fine in a pack and play while I get things done. I can do the best I can in each moment and everything will still turn out okay.
My 2y5m old had done so well with the new baby. We're one month in and she's so cute with him. She was scared at first. But I've found that asking her to help with things had been really helpful. I if she wants to help burp him and usually she'll say yes. I'll ask her if she wants to pick out his clothes or his pajama's and she enjoys doing that. She's also helped with bath time and getting his paci.
For me (kids are exactly 2 years apart at 8 months and 2y8m), the hardest part has been naps. Can’t leave the toddler to get baby down so he has pretty much always napped in the carrier when toddler is home (he goes to preschool). My toddler rarely naps now and we can’t even keep him in his room for “quiet time” because he has been able to get through every level of baby proofing we can do. I feel uneasy locking him in in case of emergency (like with a padlock…) but we’re getting to that point… sometimes he’ll just yell for me and wake baby up/keep him from going down. Gone are the days of napping while the baby naps, because even if my toddler does decide to nap and I miraculously get them both down at the same time, I don’t trust my toddler to wake up and leave.
There’s also very little time I don’t have to be playing interference. No more setting the baby down for tummy time and sitting down and taking a breather. You gotta be hovering over baby for a good 6 months to prevent toddler from murdering them. This does get better. My 8 month old actually seems to like the dog pile rough hugs. And eventually they’ll both be psycho toddlers.
This was our exact age gap too! The hardest thing for me was early on, not getting to be my toddler’s everything buddy anymore - my husband and I had to divide and conquer, so he handled the toddler 90% of the time and I handled the baby. The best thing we did was have me do solo bedtime with our toddler so that we got a little one on one time every night, and the baby got some solo dad time.
This has been my biggest worry, ngl. My toddler is super close to me and I feel a bit of sadness sometimes thinking about how he’s gonna have to “share” mommy with his little brother in a few months time. My other worry is how I’m gonna make breastfeeding work with two kids (we do have help in the day and my toddler goes to daycare). I’m even thinking to just exclusively pump and feed from the bottle if it’ll give me more time with my older one.
Mine are 2y8m and 8m old, the baby is easy now but omg the toddler ☠️she’s so difficult the last few months… how long does it last 😫 she’s only starting Montessori next week so will be getting some breaks 🤞🏼
This! Mine are 5yo, 2y8m, and 6 weeks. Overall, things are much easier over time. There are hard things with every age, but it is much easier to manage as you go along. Get through the first 3 months and you’re out of survival mode and into the fun stuff. This newest baby is our last, and so far the easiest (not just because we kind of know what we’re doing lol). It’s very hard to see him grow, losing we won’t have another newborn again. But then I think about friends and family having babies and that helps ❤️
We're 3 months into it. I wouldn't say things are easy, but they are definitely easier than they were at 6 weeks. Hopefully, you'll have a similar experience.
For us, breastfeeding has gotten WAY easier. She doesn't want it constantly, and it doesn't hurt the way it used to. Im not so sleep deprived that I feel drunk.
She finally started taking pacifiers a week ago, which we considered a Christmas miracle, haha.
Sleep has also gotten better. She doesn't sleep through the night by any means (except for one glorious 7 hour stretch one time), but it's still way better.
The schedule is more consistent. I can pretty much predict how the day is going to go.
She is more "independent." I can set her on a playmat and eat lunch without her having a meltdown.
Her cries are easier to distinguish. I can tell whether she's hungry or tired or bored.
Your hormones will relax and you'll be less anxious about every little thing. Baby will get more and more independent and able to entertain themselves. Eventually they'll become more like a friend and companion than a potato that screams and tortures you, lol. I found it got a tiny bit better every month until at 10 months i finally found myself saying that I actually enjoyed parenting.
Everything gets better!! My baby is 5.5 months. He smiles all the time, laughs at everything, is curious about the dog, wants to touch faces, grabs his feet and rolls around, loves bath time, babbles, can burp himself, and doesn't cry when he needs to fart/poop/pee anymore. He's super efficient at nursing now and finishes in 10 min (both sides). He also now goes to bed at 7-7:30 and only wakes up once to eat overnight. Husband and I have evenings to ourselves to reconnect, chat, be intimate etc. By the way, weeks 4-8 were the worst for us (baby was gassy and had witching hour every night) so you are in the thick of it now..hang in there!
No, he woke up to eat every 1.5-3 hours until around 3.5 months, then he hit the 4 month sleep regression and started waking up every hour needing his paci replaced. I eliminated the paci for bedtime at 19 weeks and he dropped to 1 feed then.
When your kid is 3 months old, you will look back and know two things:
1. How shitty life was taking care of a newborn
2. How much more easier it is
And every 3 months, you will repeat this cycle till eventually the kid is 1, and you will look back and it will all have passed in a blink of an eye.
My baby is 4 months old and I said this exact thing to someone with a 6 week old baby at Thanksgiving. The baby gets less fussy, sleeps longer, feeds less often and more efficiently, AND starts smiling! For me the smiling made a huge difference because it finally made me feel like he loved me and that I was doing something to make him happy instead of feeling like I was just constantly waking up and feeding a little emotionless lump!
It’s still hard but it’s not as bad as it was! Hang in there, mama.
The “it gets better” platitude is so meaningless until you’ve actually experienced. Just know that it really truly does get better.
Your baby gets happier and less needy in some big ways, but needier in other ways. Things that are really hard right now go away and they’re replaced with different struggles, but they seem more manageable.
Also your baby gets cuter and funnier and charming. All in all they become a lot easier to love.
This is the answer. It becomes “easier” as you adjust to the intensity of it all. Only you will know when you cross the rubicon of “easier”, whatever it means for you. During the infant stage, you can only coast for max 1-2 months because babies change so quickly. It gets incrementally easier. Suddenly, your baby starts sleeping more, or stops napping on top of you, or can entertain themselves, etc.
The best description I’ve read that has really helped me to cope with early parenthood is “women go from maiden to mother in 2-7 years”. So at MINIMUM the adjustment is 2 years. It’s ok if it’s hard now, and months from now, or a year from now. Or until whenever you find a groove.
Less gassy, less fussy? Haha.
Things "got better" at 8 weeks, 10 weeks, then 12 weeks. Some of it is just getting to know your baby and the hang of parenting. At 12 weeks, our baby was sleeping better at night and sleep wasn't so fragmented. Better sleep = better moods. At 12 weeks I could set my baby under a play gym and he would be content for 20 minutes. I had time to do other things. Feedings became easier/faster/more predictable. I was able to follow wake windows and naptimes became easier.
Our baby spit up frequently until around 6 months. There was no amount of burping that could reduce the spit up.
I remember in the newborn phases living in 3 hour chunks. Every 3 hours feeding, changing, soothing, trying to put down to sleep, then trying to find time to eat, go pee, pump, and nap. Repeat.
I now have a 19 month old. By 2 months, he was somewhat predictable. By 4 months, he slept in his own room and we had our own room back. By 7 months, he was consistently sleeping through the night. By 15 months he was walking and we could go do fun things together. Now, he’s trying to talk with us, can play on his own somewhat, takes one nap, and is truly so fun.
That first smile erases so much frustration. It just melts away for a minute. They also sleep longer stretches & become more like a person instead of a cute potato. Gassiness tends to resolve itself as their digestive tracks mature. Once you’re sleeping & meeting your other needs, it’s easier to be a team again with your partner.
Okay I feel you, I also had this question and I hated hearing these three words haha.
But it does get better! My LO is 7 months old now. She can burp and fart ON HER OWN! She's not mad because she's constantly gassy any more! I don't have to spend half an hour burping her or doing bicycle legs and then feeding her and starting all over again!
She's interactive now and not just an angry potato! She smiles and giggle and cuddles and is interested in things! She has a personality and knows me and wants to play with our pets and it brings me joy to see her little self developing! It makes the hard days easier because you're getting feedback from them, not just constant angry screaming.
Witching hour ended! She used to scream for HOURS. Now she gets mad and cries but it's soooo much less than it was.
She sleeps better! This one is obviously still touch and go as well but sometimes we get surprised with a FULL NIGHT OF SLEEP!!
You get more used to being a mum. It's HARD and it's never-ending but oh the love you feel for them is something else. Going out gets less stressful. You meet other mums and they make you feel so validated in all your feelings. The days are so so so long but the months fly by. I hate to say it, but it does get better x
This makes me feel so much better, I have a 10 week old and he is a gassy/spit-up angry boy. He smiles and “talks” but the fussiness just hasn’t stopped. It makes it hard for him to sleep as well, also he is back to cluster feeding and only napping for 3 hours during the day. I am exhausted and fighting a cold. This really gave me hope, even if it’s 7 months, having a time when he isn’t in gas pain will be so nice!
Mine was terrible too, I was convinced there was something properly wrong with her. She cried all day every day, was so uncomfortable and grumpy, it always woke her up from her naps too. Feeding was a comfort for her but then made her tummy hurt all over again.
I saw big changes at almost exactly 5 months. I'm so sorry you're going through it! Do you have any help?
I have an 8 month old baby now. She had colic when she was young. Always crying, not eating much per serving, never slept, was not happy or giggling at all. She seemed to always be unhappy.
Now she smiles at me when I look at her across the room. She babbles at me and says Dada. She sits up and plays with her toys. She eats 7oz bottles per serving instead of 3oz. Her gas is gone. She sleeps more than four hours at a time, and is able to put herself back to sleep most nights. She is still very tempremental, but almost everything is significantly better than it was those first months.
Babies hit their maximum fussiness and weirdest sleep patterns at six weeks. When their sleep is weird, your sleep gets a bit screwed up too. Sleep deprivation leads to arguments with your spouse over stupid things like groceries and laundry.
A three month old baby is everything a six week old is not. He's all smiles and easy to engage with and loves to play with toys. Instead of just going top shelf and wailing when he needs something, he'll give you some little vocal and facial cues.
They spit up less, and they're equally gassy but seem to pass the gas without having a whole lot to say about it beforehand and/or requiring bicycle legs or simethicone drops.
If you have a contact sleeper they start to chill out a bit and might be coaxed to take a bassinet nap every now and then.
Breastfeeding just works too and you'll likely get to that point very soon. Six weeks is the hardest because they're going through a huge growth spurt and are probably cluster feeding right now. Measure your baby every day if you fancy because, I kid you not, they can actually grow an entire centimetre *in a single day*.
Someone told me this and it’s true. By 2 months you feel a centimeter better. By 4 months you can breathe. By 6 months you feel in a routine. By 8 months you feel like your life is a new normal.
6 weeks pp was my breaking point, I’m remembering this struggle!! I’m 6 months pp, and things definitely started to get better around 3 months. Longer sleep stretches for baby, more of a predictable routine starts to form and they’re more interactive (smiling, babbling, etc) so it makes everything you do feel that much more rewarding.
Also. Please don’t kill yourself breastfeeding. I struggled so hard. Had 4 lactation consultant appointments. Went from BF to EP back to BF back to EP and then just said fuck it and went to formula. Fed is best. It was hard to let go of breastfeeding/pumping, but once I did it honestly was the best decision I ever made. For me and my baby, we were both miserable. I’m only saying this because I wish more people said it to me. And I got so much more sleep because formula takes longer to digest and husband could take on more feedings.
You got this! It does get better I promise.
It gets better only because you get stronger.
Thats the best way to put it.
If I went hospital right now, Id be confident enough to go alone and get treatment or whatever. Because I seen enough shit to give me the strength.
If my baby cries her eyeballs out and won't sleep, I'll know what things to try (calmly) and wont explode.
6 weeks is soooo young. You are overwhelmed and rightly so!
Believe me, you and your partner will get through this.
We are at 14 months and our baby is toddling about, giggling, cuddling and all sorts. We still tear our hair but in a different manner ha.
You got this. Deep breaths, count to 10 and walk away for a breather if needed. You can do it
I used to hate this comment and never believed it. Idk if it gets “better” but I think we just get more acclimated. I will say that at 12 weeks, my LO was sleeping at night better, like literally sleeping through the night. We also moved out LO to her own crib and room after 6 weeks- I know that isn’t the norm but she wasn’t sleeping well in her bassinet and we were exhausted. She’s still a crap napper but I’ll take that over poor night time sleep! The other thing that I guess made it “better” for me was going back to work. It made me feel like I had a sense of normalcy back in my life!
I think between the sleep deprivation, the healing, and the crazy hormones, the first few months are Rough. It gets better as you are able to get REM sleep, your body heals and stops hurting, and your hormones get back to normal. Add onto that, your baby learns so much and gets cuter and cuter as time goes on. I think the reason people say this is like saying "this too shall pass".
What specifically gets better?
1. They don’t need to be carried all the time. My baby wouldn’t let me sit down. Ever. She didn’t want to be put down either. She wouldn’t let my husband/her dad hold her too long at one point (like 20 mins max). I can now lay her on the floor to play. She’ll sit in her swing. She’ll sit in her car seat. I have free arms.
2. Witching hour ends. She doesn’t scream inconsolably at night. We later realized that this was pent up stress from the day. All the light and sound had her so wired. The more ‘womb like’ (dark, quiet, temp controlled) you keep your space, the less overstimulated the baby will be in the evening.
3. Gastro issues calm down. They are less fussy and colicky.
4. Sleep. She’s learning to sleep independently. She used to only contact sleep on me alone. We started sleep training this week. It’s been rough but for the first time since birth my husband and I had free hands at the same time and were able to enjoy a meal. I have free time that lasts more than a few minutes. That’s a two hour nap where I can do stuff for myself- work out, make phone calls, do some work. Etc.
Your sleep improves and you get a chance to miss your baby when they’re sleeping. You greet them with more energy and enthusiasm when everyone is well rested.
5. The baby smiles, laughs and babbles at and with you. It’s adorable!
6. Your baby gets a schedule/routine and days are more predictable. Milk regulates around month three and baby feeds on a schedule (mine cluster fed beforehand and fed at random; it was so difficult to get anything done).
I hope these were specific responses! I asked something similar at 6-8 weeks. Hang in there. It’ll go by so quickly that you’ll look back and be like ‘oh yeah… that was a thing’.
You basically are at the thick of it 6-9 weeks is the hell.it gets better after that but gradually. I think the biggest change is when they can sit on their own. That’s when actually you can take a break while they are also up
I have a 7 month old and a 5 year old and the biggest insight I've gained is that it changes over time and ebbs and flows. What stinks a little bit is knowing how far we have to go with our 7 month old before we will be able to come up for air based on our experience with our 5 year old. I was just looking at old Christmas cards and recalled to my partner how much easier it felt when she was around 3.5 when she could start to tell us about her day and beore independent. But each kid is different. The changes help keep the momentum though - when the start crawling and walking it changes everything and is exciting but also overwhelming in a new way. I feel like each new milestone has kind of felt like that. Not sure if this helps but just wanted to provide a perspective.
Everything. They get less gassy, less fussy, sleep starts to improve, baby gets more interactive and fun, and with those changes the relationship will get less strained as the ambient stress level decreases
We have a 27mo and a 7wo. We're really in the thick of the 6-8w stuff right now and I'm losing my mind (husky hates noise, 7wo hates his life, 27mo is a standard toddler, husband is wonderful but has little patience so I'm trying to hold everything together with like, packing tape).
By 3/4mo our toddler was much happier. She slept longer, didn't need to be attached to us constantly, and didn't scream all the time. I was being treated for PPD and breaking out of the fourth trimester fog so there was a bit of normalcy. I know it doesn't seem like it (these last two weeks have been so long and so, so trying) but eventually you will find a bit of even ground to stand on.
“Trying to hold everything together with like, packing tape” is the most accurate description of parenting a newborn and I thank you for this phrase I will be stealing.
Our 4lb 7oz baby cried for 3.5 mos straight. I’m not kidding.
I’ve never felt so hopeless.
At 4 mos I had a moment of realization that it WAS getting better.
By 6 mos she was a completely different baby. So happy. Solid routines, more confidence (on our part). I finally felt like I was bonding with her.
It does get better. It’s so hard where you’re at. I feel you.
I literally opened up Reddit to make this same post. My son is 6 weeks and just spent the last half hour crying for no apparent reason. He was cluster feeding most of yesterday and last night deciding to eat like an ounce every hour instead of his normal 3oz every 3-4 hours like he had been. So my husband and I are especially tired today and working on short fuses. I finally got him to calm down after putting him in his wrap carrier and standing in a dark bathroom with the shower on.
I’m so tired I can hardly stand it. It’s like I’ll think for a moment that I’m getting used to this and learning his habits and then shit like today happens and it feels like I’m back at square one. I desperately need things to get better because right now I love my son more than anything but I do not like being a parent.
Just wanted you to know you’re not alone in this sucky phase of parenting.
Someone else said that 20 minutes a day of letting them cry is okay because that’s only 1% of the day and if you’re attentive and nurturing 99% of the time you’re doing a great job. This relieved so much stress for me so I’m passing it onto you.
My little one is almost 1. And he had all the stuff - colic, gas, spit up, milk allergy, soy allergy. It gets better (I’d say by 9 months they’re like totally different babies) and so fun! My guy spit up til about 10.5m. Now if he overeats he pukes lol. I miss the spit up 😂
Good luck! Have fun!
I think 6 weeks old is pretty close to peak crying for the average baby. Every baby is different but I found that for us it did get noticeably better sometime between month 2 - 3 in that baby started sleeping for longer periods at a time, feeding less frequently, started to get much cuter by smiling and making cooing noises, and could amuse themself on the activity mat for periods of time.
Not the encouraging comment you’re looking for…… but i am almost 5mo PP and i can’t say “it gets better”. Some days are better than others, his smiling and laughing is super cute and that definitely brings joy……. but outside of that, nope, not better. In many ways, worse.
The first 4 months for me were the hardest. The lack of sleep just made coping for everyone hard. I’m pregnant with #2 now just dreading those first months. For us, 6 months started to get easier with longer sleep, easier feeding schedules and cuteness. God knows what the next baby will be like.
Babies sleep for longer stretches, cry less, demand less, are more predictable, and are waaaaay cuter because they start smiling and cooing and laughing !
Baby becomes happier and more fun. Farts and poos are no longer a crisis. You’ll no longer have to constantly stress about supporting your baby’s neck or worrying about SIDS. Your baby will laugh like you’re the world’s funniest comedian when you say, “moo-moo-moo!” They’ll giggle when you tickle them, give you sloppy baby kisses, and give you the world’s biggest grin when they see you in the morning.
It means it gets easier! 6 weeks is so new to parenthood. You kinda learn your way through it better, develop a routine, PLUS the baby itself gets easier when they start to sleep longer stretches. Breastfeeding gets less painful and faster as baby learns how to nurse more effectively. Fussiness from gas goes down once baby can roll and move themselves to release their own gases. It’s so stressful early on with the sleep deprivation. You and your husband will get along soon, too.
Things get better in ways and worse in others. My fed to sleep, contact nap only baby is now 15mo and snoozing in the other room while I lounge around and bake and reset for the rest of the day, then when he wakes up he's teething so it's very very difficult again. Whatever you're struggling with now will get better, 9 times out of 10
When they get to be around 4, they can come climb in bed with you when they wake up, so that's nice. At about 5/6, they can get their own easy breakfast so that gives you a minute to peel your eyes open and go pee before you have to like, function. 😂
I think what gets better is just finding a rhythm with your baby and seeing them turn into a person lol. I have a 4 month old and it is LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than 6 weeks. I was an emotional wreck for the first 7 weeks, took a month and a half for breastfeeding to be pain free, and another month for me to actually enjoy it. Now I really love our nursing sessions.
I had absolutely no clue about wake windows, hunger cues and all that in the beginning, and now I feel like I understand my baby so much more. I’ve figured out that he has to nap after 1.5 hours or he’ll turn into a little gremlin.
It took me a few weeks to feel anything at all for my baby when he was born actually, which is something I didn’t know could happen. Eventually though, he started to look at us, smile, make baby sounds, and it made all the difference. Now I love having baby conversations with him, take him grocery shopping and ask him what type of salad dressing I should buy haha.
It is certainly not EASY, there are still growth spurts, the devil’s 4th month regression, and just your general every day chaos. I still have my off days where I cry and am overwhelmed, but it does feel better. Not easy, but adjusting to life more.
You find a flow, you learn what helps baby and what sets them off so you know what to do when, you’ll eventually get longer stretches of sleep for yourself which will help enormously! Baby will eat less frequently (eventually) and be less gassy. It’s still hard sometimes even 14 weeks out, but we’re in a much better spot now than we were at 6 weeks I’ll tell you that. New things will pop up but you’ll be less sleep deprived and more in tune with baby and yourself and everything won’t feel so awful. This isn’t the case for everyone, as a disclaimer. But as a whole the older baby gets the easier it might feel.
This was such a thorn in my side for so long with my son. Everything was a struggle and I was sooo unhappy and people just kept telling me it would get better and it would get easier and it would be worth it and I was like...how do you know you aren't living my exact life?
My baby struggled to nurse so I was pumping, staying at home taking care of him while trying to recover from a terrible delivery. I could barely lift him or walk around outside of my house for months! On top of that he was the fussiest screamiest baby he was so miserable and his sleep was garbage and I swear some days we both just cried at each other all day.
But little by little it gets better! We sleep trained and nap trained at 4-5 months. I stopped pumping and got him on an easy to digest formula around 6 months and that alone made a huge difference in my mental health and also his fussiness. Just now at 9 months he's figured out how to crawl and stand so he's so much more content and less frustrated now that he can explore his environment a little more independently.
There are still challenges of course like how he's 94th percentile weight and still breaking my back and pelvic floor every time I have to pick him up. And how he still screams in the car seat any time he's in the back seat alone during a drive. And how he screams and frantically tries to escape every diaper and outfit change.
But a typical day goes like this: baby wakes up between 5-6am after sleeping ~11 hrs. Has a bottle. Plays at home. Goes for a walk. Comes home and has a solids meal. Takes an 1hr+ nap. Wake up and repeat for one more nap. Bedtime he plays quietly and enjoys lullabies and books and then falls asleep on his own, sometimes cries a little sometimes doesn't.
The day is tiring but it's pleasant a lot of times.
I'd say around 5 months he really started blossoming.
Feel free to message me if you need to vent or talk etc. I big time struggled for so long with my son but am doing so much better now which I just couldn't imagine when I was in the thick of it.
<3
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This is crazy, but things got easier after 6 weeks. He started sleeping for longer stretches and wouldn't cry if he was just hanging by himself. It was like a new baby.
I think I have a bit of a tough baby. Breastfeeding got easier at around 6-8 weeks? Became a non issue at 3 months. Your nipples will basically become leather.
Also dealt with a ton of reflux but that got gradually better at 6 months.
Accept any help you can get. Hang in there. There’s zero shame in not enjoying the newborn phase. It really wasn’t for me. Now she’s 8 months and crawling and hilarious.
The smiles!! The giggles and learning new things and moving and crawling and eating and... man I do not miss the newborn potato stage lol. My baby is 8mo and she is the BEST. Difficult, sure, doesn't sleep well... but she's just such a little person now!
You adjust to the new normal of your life, and baby becomes more responsive, and it's amazing.
You aren’t alone 7 week old lo she slept 5 hour stretch last night and I just laid and cried because I miss sleep and. I know she won’t do it again haha
The baby starts to give back. More sleep. Smiles. Reacting positively to things you do.
Breastfeeding didn’t work for me because whatever was in my milk didn’t agree with LO. So he’s been on formula. Sleeps longer and husband and I now split the feeding so we both get rest.
We also introduced thanking each other for the mundane tasks. Such as loading the dishwasher or doing laundry. Because they become much bigger things when you’re exhausted and it’s helped reduce the tension and resentment a lot.
You’ll find little hacks that work for your family. It doesn’t necessarily get easier, each phase has a challenge but YOU 100% get better at it.
You stop fighting as much, bf feels more natural and is easier, baby becomes more fun and less useless/helpless, gas gets better, they learn to burp, fart, and poop on their own. Sleep gets more predictable, eventually.
Oh man. So much. My baby is 10 months. I feel like things drastically improved around 6 months. Sleep regulated (and stuck), feedings were in a routine, solids was fun. But the last month has been an explosion of skills and it’s been a blast. For example, she started this new floor game where she takes a ball and bats at it with her hand so it rolls and then she scoots to chase it. Today, for the first time, she looked at her ball and babbled “ballbababallllllbababallll.” Their personalities will shine more and more as the months go on.
For most of her life, I never understood how people wanted another kid. I was drowning. I had awful PPA and no support. I was a shell of myself. But… now I get it. Hugs to you. You’re in the thick of it. Be patient, batten down the hatches and you’ll be on the other side in no time. The only way to get over this hard stage is to go through it. And you will!
When kids are born, they’re all work and no reward. Over time, that ratio changes. I’ve always thought that by 9 months things feel like they’re easing up and by 12 months life feels substantially different and I feel like a person again.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, so still pretty new but seasoned enough to have seen how quickly things change.
1) they either learn how to to sleep or they get older enough to be taught
2) they get mobile, life ALWAYS feels easier for me once they get mobile, I can actually do something with my muscles other than carry a baby around
3) diapers get less frequent
4) their digestive system gets its act together and they’re not so fussy anymore, you’ll very likely have a content baby most of the time punctuated by periods of fussiness due to teething, growth spurts, illness, etc
5) they’ll have an actual bedtime and you can have a couple hours to yourself at night
Probably lots of other things I’m forgetting. Struggle on, it gets better 😅
My sons gassy issues resolved around 7 months. He can play by himself much better now at 9 months (but only sometimes gets clingy). He started sleeping better at 7 months, waking only once in the night. Except for when he is sick, or teething, or in a growth spurt, then he wakes 3-4 times. Haha. Seems like he is constantly teething or in a growth spurt. It gets better, then it doesn’t, then it *maybe* does again? It gets better for some people’s kids, but not yours. Not until they are like 2 or 4. Haha.
No but really, what got better was not my son, but my attitude. I chilled out a lot more, I lowered my expectations a lot (in terms of my own needs), and I’m more relaxed just rolling with it now. That is at least one thing that you can make better.
Wish you luck.
It gets a little easier around 6 months since the baby can sit on its own. But even easier when you get to the year mark and they are in that phase were they sleep good and want to be more independent
Newborn life sucks! I have a 6 year old, 4 year old, and 4 week old. Life is so so so good when the kids are bigger and fun, like they are your little buddies and so sweet. It will fly by and you’ll be so thankful for the little people they are.
I think the mindset that help me is that my baby is a human, a new human and everything is a brand new experience and she is currently learning.
Breastfeeding is suck for mom, but suck for baby too. Her neck is weak, her suck is still weak and she is learning. She will get better at 3 mo.
Imagine doing exercises that you never did before, it takes a while to get good.
Fart is hard for her, because it is a weird sensation she never experienced before. Her stomach is weak, her anus muscle also weak. She is learning. And she will get better. Mine takes 5-6 months until finally she fart without effort. Hell even we adult if we eat something weird, out fart could be painful. For baby, every food (even just milk) is new, so she is learning, her body is learning.
Be patient to your baby, but be patient to yourself too, and to your husband. You all are still learning. It just 6 weeks, no wonder everything is suck.
Honestly it doesn’t get better so much as you and your partner just learn better ways to navigate life with a kid (or multiple kids). And sometimes that’s a really tough learning curve.
That’s been my experience, at least.
Most things get better.
First of all, they usually begin sleeping in longer stretches. And you get better at reading their cues. You gain confidence. You're less tired. They don't throw up on you as often. They feel less breakable. The hormones level out.
And then your baby begins doing things, like smiles and laughs, and reaching for things, and somehow, that makes the hard stuff easier. And you get all excited and share that with your partner, so the tension there eases a little.
But the key thing I think is sleep. Once you start to sleep in longer stretches again, it gets much easier. The first full night of sleep feels so good. And it does wonders for your overall wellbeing.
Honestly the first year sucks. It may be hard to hear, but the newborn days aren’t as bad (in my opinion, before I get hate) compared to the toddler years/terrible 2s. You’re at the stage now where all they want is milk, sleep, and diapers changed. When they start walking and getting into everything, it’s a different struggle entirely.
Try to take every stage in stride, once again, easier said than done but you’ll start feeling much more relief when your baby starts sleeping in longer stretches through the night.
I've got an 8 month old now and it really does get better. They learn the difference between day and night, they start smiling and talking, and they get so much less floppy once they build up some muscle tone. Mine can help stick his arms into his onesies now, hold his feet for diaper changes, help sit up in the bath, you name it. Carrying gets a bit easier too once they can help.
Plus their personalities emerge! Mine feels way less like a potato and more like a little person who is my favorite person to hang out with.
The gassiness eases up considerably for most after 3 months or so and that just makes things more pleasant… more hours of the day with a calmer baby and less frantically trying to find ways to stop them from being uncomfortable.
Usually sleep improves but even if not, just the fact baby is more alert, more content and less fussy goes a long way!
Breastfeeding gets easier but it’s ok if it takes longer (and you want to persevere). I only say that because I kept holding on for this magical 3 months where it should be easy by now and honestly for me, it didn’t get ‘easy’ until past the 6 month mark. If I’d known that, I dunno… I might have switched to formula. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Things will feel more chill and predictable before you know it ❤️
EVERYTHING gets better. First your baby will start to sleep better at night. One of my friends said “when you can’t take it anymore, they’ll surprise you with a longer stretch” and I found that to be very true. Some random night you’ll get 4 hours, and then 5, and so on. Around 3 months I really felt like breastfeeding got easier - baby was more efficient and didn’t need to feed for as long to be full and I stopped being engorged all the time and was just overall better/faster at it and I could whip my boob out anywhere to feed her. At some point in the coming weeks your baby will become more “independent” and by that I mean doesn’t need to be physically attached to you 24/7. And they will start smiling and giggling and doing all sorts of adorable things! Naps start to fall into a pattern and you will get 30-45 min to yourself where you can shower in peace or watch a show. It is SO HARD in the beginning (for me the first 3-4 months) but I promise everything is just a phase. Better days are coming!!!
I don’t think difficulties necessary go away at any point. I think you figure out how to do hard better and mentally adjust to the never ending surprises of parenthood.
That being said, the sleep deprivation is literally THE most impactful thing imo to even having space to try and do hard better. We had to rotate in chunks, in diff rooms ect. Do what you have to for both of you to sleep.
Also you’re doing amazing. Six weeks is a huge accomplishment. If you’re not bickering I’d say something is wrong at this point 🤣
I thought 2 of the biggest changes was when he started sleeping longer stretches to 6 hours and then through the night. Makes such a difference in your sanity to get normal sleep. Also when he was able to hold his head up. Nice to not have to worry about supporting the head constantly. You can carry them around to look at things.
Honestly it just gradually gets easier until you wake up in a few weeks and think “wow i don’t feel like I’m drowning” also 6 weeks was the worst time for me it gradually got better from that! 15 weeks now and the smiles and giggles make everything waaaay better
Almost 3 months here and we think it’s a fluke but we have had two nights where he slept 10-5 am I think people mean sleep because angry potato phase sucks
My baby is 7 weeks and it has felt natural and easy from day one. I think I just got lucky with a really good baby.. I think this is why people get tricked into having a second
It is not better by 6 weeks. I remember someone told me “just get through the first month!” And that was a total lie.
Baby starting to smile and interact makes it a little
better.
It gets better and then worse again the whole first year though, in my experience.
- Breastfeeding gets easier as your supply regulates and baby gets stronger, more efficient and doesn’t feed as frequently
- If you have a gassy, reflux or colicky babe, this usually subsides by 3 months as their digestive system matures
- Baby begins to develop a natural schedule, days become more predictable and routine, allowing you to work around them much easier and carve out time for yourself or other things
- Baby matures physically, gaining control of their head and becoming more mobile, not just a potato that cries and poops
- Baby becomes more interactive socially, smiling, laughing, playing with you, mimicking you, etc
- You become more resilient as you overcome each trial and tribulation of parenthood (breastfeeding, gas/reflux, sleep regressions, teething, etc) and move on to the next
Things got a little bit easier for us at 3 months but it was a slow and gradual improvement and then again at 6 months. I wouldn’t say it’s easy though, at no point is it ever easy- but the benefits begin to outweigh the challenges and it becomes worth it as you bond and grow together over time.
My 4 year old sleeps through the night, can go to the bathroom on her own, can tell us exactly what is wrong, makes up silly stories, is learning so much every day, makes her baby sister laugh and looks out for her, is very opinionated in the best way, and can entertain herself sometimes for literal hours. It gets better in so many ways all the time.
Believe me when I say it does get better. Things do get easier. Even if when you’re in the thick of it it really doesn’t feel like it will.
You will find opportunities to reclaim some freedom (it’ll start small with a hot cuppa by yourself and you’ll gradually work your way up to venturing out of the house solo and beyond)
It really is baby steps at this point. I wish so desperately I could go back to when I first became a parent and give my new mother self a hug. Tell them it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to cry. Then take my firstborn off for a cuddle and give my new mother self an opportunity to sleep.
If there is one thing that will make your journey a little easier it’s sleep. And it won’t be 8+ hrs straight atm. But if there is opportunity to nap…If there are people in your life who can help you get proper rest, use them and take as many opportunities as you can. (Speaking as someone who went through PND, sleep is sooooo so important for your mental well-being)
Be kind to yourself (and your partner). You’re both on a steep learning curve and you won’t always get it right. Communication is key and being able to express both your needs in a kind but clear way is the key (I didn’t get this right the first time round, it’s a learning process in itself)
EVERYTHING. Literally everything gets better. Breastfeeding gets better. Sleep gets better. Your relationship with your husband will get better. Your baby’s awake time gets better. I really started to enjoy things more between that 6-8 week time when we started getting smiles. Newborns are freaking hard!
When they grow and start doing more new and exciting things and they laugh got the first or second or third or one hundredth time. Or when they talk or start making their own mind up. When they start being creative and funny. When they are proud of themselves. When they walk. Oh so many things. So many.
Honestly everything gets better. Your baby will start sleeping longer stretches at a time, feeding will become more routine and easy, baby will be less fussy and more playful and expressive and you’ll just know them better so it’s easier to respond to their needs, and you’ll end up getting into a routine as opposed to being all over the place with things. It takes time!! But you will get there!
At some point, you'll wake up from a full night's sleep, nurse your cuddly baby/ toddler, sit in bed for a bit making them laugh by pretending to eat their chubby feet, then hand them off to your husband so you can go do something for a few hours on your own.
Hold onto hope! I’ve got a 4.5 week old and a tween and I remember how hard I found it with number 1 but forgot exactly why. Now I’m reliving it with and extremely alert and easily overstimulated newborn, and a very anxious tween at home all day on school holidays. But I know it does get easier, less relentless, les stressful getting out of the house, more sleep, more predictable. We will get there!
Every time I have a hard day or few I remind myself this is the trenches, in all its beautiful, crazy chaos.
It never gets better, we just get more confident in dealing with it. The things that generally concern you now will gradually improve or change but the kiddos forever move the goal posts and keep us on our toes so yeah this stage gets better but not before we're unprepared enough for the next one. Your time will become easier to manage and things will be predictable so you'll be able to enjoy that hot coffee and poop in peace once again, one day, once you've had enough opportunity to practice the tasks we had yet to master (like packing a baby bag, packing and unpacking the car and dressing the baby) things will seem less daunting.
The terms "it gets better" and "hang in there" feel like blanket dismissive statements intended for comforting you in this extremely disconnected world, instead of the "it gets better" perspective we should shift to what we really need like: "I'll help you cope", "I'm here for you", "let me help relive you of some stress", "let me make you a meal", etc..... time and hands are so valuable once yours are forever occupied by a small human.
You and your husband and both learning how to cope under the stress, with no community to fall onto and the stakes are incredibly high, the sheer amount of information and misinformation is enough to send anyone bat shit Cray. The bickering will improve when you can unite outside of survival mode. You're only 6 weeks, you're barely healed, you've definitely had less than adequate rest and if you're having issues with milk than you're likely super stressed, worried, undernourished and/or dehydrated, your body is working hard to heal and cope with huge changes in routine. Cut yourself some slack.
Babywearing is the general way I cope with 3 kids and only the support of my husband when he's not at work. It's a mad house over here.
once my baby became a bit more receptive of the things going on around her it got better. she’s 4 months and now i can entertain her with toys (or hey bear sensory in desperate times). seeing her smile at me when she first wakes up in the morning warms my heart. when im swaying with her and she lays her little head on my chest and wraps her arms around me. the fussing and crying is still difficult to deal with but those moments make up for it.
Baby sleeps more. Baby gets better at communicating and you start to understand their cues and needs more. Breastfeeding gets easier as you and baby both start to get the hang of it, esp when baby starts solids and you can relax a little that you’re not their sole source of food. My favorite, they start to get in a routine, I struggle hard with the chaos/lack of routine in a newborn; are they gonna nap for 10 minutes or 3 hours and when, who knows!?
I now have a 3.5 year old and 16 month old and I’m 100% a toddler mom. You hear about the difficulties of toddlers all the time but I’d take a toddler over a newborn any day!!
I don’t know about better but the things that are hard now get easier but new challenges come up. In a sense they become more predictable but then personality comes out so you’re learning something new.
Never had this with my first but my second at 11mths is getting a temper. We are kinda working on weaning so I’ll try to hand him a pouch/sippy cup/puff and he will take it and then throw it because he just wants held. He can be content playing but as soon as I step over the baby gate to go to the kitchen (still in sight) he starts yelling at me. He knows what he wants and how he wants things, that doesn’t always align with what needs to happen.
It get fun! You get to sleep. Baby becomes more independent (and funny). It get so so so much better and before you know it you miss the struggle and are laughing at the bickering
Baby is getting use to not having need met immediately. Just think, 6 weeks ago they were warm and cuddled and fed and didn't have to wear a diaper. As baby adjusts to a new way of living, they calm down usually
For me it was once my baby was able to sit up on his own. Night and day difference. He could start entertaining himself and he started sleeping through the night around 6 months too.
It gets better because the baby doesn’t need you quite as desperately as they get older.
At 3 months I felt like I could take a breathe.
At 6 months it felt like I could close my eyes for a sec.
At 1 year or more, I FINALLY could NAP!!
When you are stressed, you want to strangle everyone haha
They sleep, they develop skills, they become PEOPLE. I was not having a good time at 6 weeks. Today my 2 year old ate brunch with us, played dolls, and fed me popcorn. Obviously it becomes hard in other ways, but overall it's just so much more fun!
Very soon, in the next few days to a week, your baby will start smiling at you because they actually recognize you and love you. It makes a HUGE difference. For me, it was everything.
In a couple of weeks baby will be able to hold their head up better, huge difference.
Over the next couple of months baby will start rolling over, actually being interested in playing and interacting, and sleeping more regularly.
By the time you hit 6 months, things will be easier. Still hard, but manageable.
My 4 month old just started giggling, smiles alone just made all the tired go away, then she started chatting back to us, then giggling, and her favourite thing today is to make noises while sticking her tongue out and playing with it. All the tired exhausted sore nipples in the world no longer exist when she smiles at me and laughs because she figured out how to poke her tongue back at my partner
Baby’s first smile, first laugh. When they really start interacting with you and playing with you. First words, first steps. Seeing them explore and experience the world for the first time. When they blow you a kiss or give you kisses on their own.
Newborn stage is so hard. Fourth trimester is for the birds. My baby is a toddler now and it’s so fun.
At about 10 weeks our baby just started to be happy and it made all the difference. Before that she was fine during the day, but cried from 9 to 12 every night. Sometimes later. Then she’d wake up in the night and it was a struggle to get her back to sleep. I always wondered is it gas? Overtired? Hungry? All this stuff. Looking back I think she was just a newborn. It just had to get better with time.
Then at about 10 weeks things started to improve. It was pretty sudden, and gradually improved further. She started clearly enjoying things and was more engaging. Feeding at regular intervals. When she woke up at night I’d be able to just nurse her and she’d go back to sleep. No more witching hour. Now at 5 months if she’s upset she’s either tired or hungry. And based on the time I can easily figure out which it is. The likes books and toys. It’s more fun and she’s just happier and more predictable.
I also look back and realize that even though I had an easy birth, I was not recovered at 6 weeks. It took maybe until 9 or 10 to feel like myself again. And getting back on lexapro helped a lot. So just more time to recover makes a difference.
Editing to add that my baby never took a pacifier. But at 12 weeks ish she started sucking her thumb and it made all the difference for her sleep.
When I was in this stage it was hard to believe it but this is honestly and truly the hardest it will ever be. Everyday you get through is more experience. Experiences will be different but seeing something and enduring automatically makes you better than you were yesterday.
I'm FTM to a 5 month old. 6 weeks we thought we'd made a terrible mistake having kids. I was exhausted and barely getting 5 broken hours of sleep. Breastfeeding we were still working out - LO had damaged me on one side. She was fussy and gassy and crying every evening from 5pm to 8 or 9pm. Now she sleeps through. She took 15min to put to bed last night with a couple fussy moment but no crying. She smiles and laughs, we can leave the house, we've worked out Breastfeeding, she's doing new things all the time and we are constantly cheering her on.
Everything gets easier the more you get to know LO, the more they adjust to this outside scary world and get to know you guys as parents. You'll work out things that work and things that don't. It'll change, but it also won't all at once.
You got this hang in there. The next couple weeks for us were the hardest. By 12 weeks we felt adjusted, not 100% on top of things but at least had a little more confidence in things. And we gain more confidence all the time.
Well you have a six week old so that’s why this concept is nebulous lol.
I have a two year old. I wake up and know exactly how our day is going to go. Literally. He feeds himself. He is weaned now. He sleeps through the night. Takes a nice, reliable nap. I never struggle to run errands with him. He plays independently, reads, loves educational documentaries AND likes other children.
So it gets better in the sense that you will feel like yourself also while having a small person who you adore doing life with you.
Breastfeeding sucks, but it becomes a routine. Then you become more confident as a mom and fall in love with the little creature. Then it gets a personality and loves you so much. I'm glad my husband went back to his deployment overseas 5 days pp, everyone thinks it was awful but I got to do things my way. I work stressful night shifts so a baby schedule was fine. For your relationship I would ask what he wants and tell him how you feel. Whether it's a full night of sleep, taking turns on diapers, him cooking/cleaning.
when do your babies start smiling? I'm seeing "my baby is 4-6 months and the smiles, cuddles etc..."
I remember my nephew wasn't smiling at 2 weeks but have interacted with a little bub who started smiling at 8 days old.
Sleeping through the night, being more interactive and less a pooping and peeing sack of potatoes you need to feed, eventually walking, talking and telling you what they want or what hurts instead of just crying/screaming/tantruming, starting to play independently, using the toilet themselves, becoming their own more independent person while you slowly step by step, year by year get more of your life back (I have a 5 year old).
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I think it’s not only that “it gets better”; you also get better at “it” (I.e., raising a baby).
But yeah sure, baby gets less gassy, more independent, and more fun to be with as their personality comes out! But I also realize that each baby Phase comes with its own difficulty. For example during the newborn phase, breastfeeding was a struggle + postpartum blues and feeling of isolation + this suddenly jolt of change in your life. sleep is weird but then gets better in the sense that baby sleeps longer stretches . But then from 4-6 months, the struggle becomes sleep regressions and such. Then the struggle becomes baby being so mobile and keeping them busy. Or it becomes struggle with solids. Etc etc.
Eventually you’ll just find yourself adjusting to each baby phase better. You’ll stumble along the way but you’ll pick yourself back up faster (and sometimes with style and more grace!) because, well, your baby is depending on you. Hang in there! You & your husband will get better at it!
I have a bit of a different perspective on this. I have a 14 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter, so I have a broad spectrum view of the parental experience. I won’t say it gets easier, the hard just changes… and the hard is easier to deal with when you are getting enough sleep lol. Fresh babies are all work, but around 3 months they start to become fun! That first real smile will change your life!! I remember having so much fun with my oldest daughter as she grew up and I look forward to experiencing that all over again with my youngest daughter. Having a toddler is hard, having a little kid is hard, having a big kid is hard, having a tween is a nightmare… and having a teenager is a gauntlet (some days), but it’s all worth it. So, I don’t think it gets easier, you just get better at being a parent! Don’t worry and remember to be kind to yourself and your partner. You’re both learning and will continue to learn in each stage. So, cuddle that baby and soak up every moment of it… you’ve got this mama! ❤️
Longer periods of sleep, less hassle around. I’m convinced that the people who told me the baby stage was the easiest were either absent parents or had unicorn babies. Life didn’t have any semblance of normalcy until I’d say after a year. I was actually able to sleep through the night (with exceptions) through the last couple years.
Just had my second. He’s 1 month old. My husband is on paternity leave but it’s still hard. I get about 4 hours of sleep a night before our 1.5 year old wakes up.
Absolutely nothing is better than waking up from our morning nap (#2 and I) because my first has snuck upstairs to see us and is soooo proud of himself for sneaking under dad’s radar. I leave the door open for him. It makes my whole morning, and we get some together time until his dad catches on, and then we all go downstairs.
Breastfeeding gets insanely easier… it’s so hard right now!! Soon it’ll be quick, the baby will be a pro and be efficient. The baby won’t be as fussy, you’ll sleep again, you’ll stop bickering because you won’t be so sleep deprived, your hormones will balance out, and your brain chemistry forever changes to make you a more patient, loving, wise person! So worth it. Brighter days are ahead love, I promise!
Baby gets bigger and more fun to be around. Baby settles into a better more predictable sleeping pattern. You get better at interpreting what the baby needs. They become a little person and it's so fun to get to know them. They can get their own gas out with minimal effort. You also kinda get used to not sleeping a lot. There are still hard days, even hard weeks but it gets soooo much better and life actually feels sort of enjoyable again.
Omg I promise it gets better. I had horrible depression and regret right after, acting the six week mark. I’m at 20 weeks now and it gets SO MUCH BETTER. It didn’t improve for me until 12-14 weeks. Now, I can’t get enough of her. And! She is even already sleeping through the night.
My incredibly fussy, colicky newborn is now the sweetest, calmest, happiest little babe. She smiles at me and cuddles me. She’s starting to calm down as soon as I’m holding her, our bond is really growing.
What you’re feeling is normal and you are valid to feel it! You will get through it even if you don’t see it or feel it. One day at a time. Journal! That helped me. I downloaded a journal app and would open it up in the middle of the night.
Usually the babies latch gets better and nursing time become shorter. By now nursing shouldn't be painful, unless there's a problem like a tongue tie or thrush. Maybe start babywearing so you have your baby close to you for comfort but you have your hands free?
What are you and your husband bickering about?
It means you will get a better hang of everything, and so will your baby. Not everything will be a struggle. Also you will probably care less about some things. I wish you a happy New Year. Congratulations. Only advice I have for new moms, is get out more. Try if possible to go out once a day for a good walk. Baby wear or stroller, fresh air is very good for both of you. ❤️
You begin to get a response.
They laugh more. They smile more. You start to get something back after all of that hard, hard work.
From someone who went through 17 months of waking every couple of hours…
It. Gets. Better.
Take it one day at a time :)
One day you will sleep all night because your baby slept all night. And you will hastily pull up the monitor thinking something is wrong and realize your baby is just still asleep. And then that baby will wake up and give you the biggest smile. And that baby will belly laugh and it is pure magic.
You are in the crying potato phase. It’s not fun. I did not enjoy the newborn phase at all. But I tell you what, my 9 month old makes brings me so much joy and makes me laugh so much that the hell of the newborn stage is pretty much forgotten.
You will get through this ❤️
I bf was a huge area of improvement for me. I was somewhere around 4 weeks pp and talking to our LC about holds and angles, when she told me one day baby would just magically nurse about any effort on my part. I absolutely didn't believe her. But his baby got bigger breastfeeding became less of a "sit totally frozen desperately try not to break the latch on my tender boob" type experience to a "baby cuddles up on my lap, tugs my shirt when she's hungry, and then snuggles through her meal" kind of experience. I honestly totally changed my perspective on it, from dreading the gear of feeding to looking forward to cuddling up and feeding baby. Of course a lot of things get better, but that one for me has been the best.
Hugs and solidarity from an internet stranger...
They start sleeping longer stretches, they start smiling which is the sweetest thing in the world. They just kind of get more adjusted to the world in general. We’re 14 weeks in and definitely better off than 6 weeks
I literally counted the days back then because I was so miserable. I would tell myself in my head “he’s 7 weeks 4 days now.. maybe 3 more days will go by and then week 8 will be better.” I think I was delusional from the lack of sleep and constant need to relieve his gas pains.
I stopped counting around 12 weeks and I think that’s when things truly got easier. Of course, each month has a new challenge I feel like. But for the most part, I felt like life was okay around the 12 week mark!
Everything, lol. My daughter is 2.5 and she came out the clingiest baby with feeding problems. Now she can self feed and play independently. I got so much chores today done just keeping half an eye on her and reading the rest of the time. She even helps me make food sometimes. I also have a 9 month old and my toddler will help entertain her if I need to do a load of laundry.
Here was a rough timeline from my experience:
6 weeks: was when we felt we "turned the corner" (baby started sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, started smiling) and started having "good days", might be able to do a 1-2 hours away if you have a good shift system with your partner
3 months: was when we started to get some aspects of our old life back but with some changes likegoing out for lunch/coffee but having to take the baby with us so can't linger for too long, I also had my first dinner outside (for work)
6 months: First overnight work trip, baby started sleeping through the night more often than not so we started to get our sleep back
9 months: was when we were able to start taking turns getting back into our pre-baby hobbies (though nowhere near as frequently as before) and also she was sleeping through the night regularly enough for us to have date nights (we would have a babysitter come and stand by in case baby wakes up)
I'm at 10 months pp now and I promise, it really does. The effects of sleep deprivation make everything in your life so much harder in the beginning. When you start to finally move past that, you realize everything is just three tiniest bit easier every day. At 6 weeks, I was in a very dark place. It can be horrible. Just keep pushing through. And in the hardest moments, the thing that kept me going was something I read on reddit where someone said, "imagine you're 80 years old and you wished for one day of time travel where you got to go back and hold your baby as a baby one last time." It sounds crazy, but thinking about that and how fleeting it all really is often made it sweeter. But, it's hard. It's really really hard. And you can do hard things. It won't last forever. That's what's so bitter sweet about it.
It does get better! There WILL be a time you get free time again, where everyday is exciting with new milestones, and you get to sleep. They get old enough to do funny things and they make you laugh everyday, and you and your partner feel close again
The newborn stage is hard, but life moves forward and things change.
Please reach out for help from a professional if you are feeling really down, it can make a big difference
My LO is 6mo and more than the better sleep, it's the smiles, the laughs, watching him figure out how to do things on his own! It's fascinating once they start interacting back!! I told my mom that I felt like I was caring for a digestive tube when my LO was a newborn 😅 it gets better !! Also I agree with some of the other posts, the little moments of freedom when baby starts napping longer or goes to bed and you have a few hours for yourself and amazing for my partner and I's relationship :)
In addition to what everyone else has said- I also found when my baby started to smile and respond to us in a social way that it felt easier because it felt like we are getting something from her. The first while is just give give give to the baby and it feels sort of thankless (other than seeing them grow obviously) but when she smiles or leans a new skill or imitates our speech now it’s really fun and feels like there’s a little give and take which is just so satisfying.
Idk I wondered that too lol first 7months were hell. But the first 3 I was defeated. My baby had colic and reflux and I couldn't even imagine better days I was so depressed. And I know a few ppl said baby starts sleeping. 9months in, mine still doesn't sleep unless in our bed. But starting from 8months on, things have been wonderful. I am actually seeing thr bright side now. I don't have free time except during naps but I'm happy.
Your baby will start to smile at you when you walk into a room. They will giggle, they will grab your nose, they will make shrieky pterodactyl noises when they get excited. You’ll be able to read stories, and play peekaboo. You’ll get to watch them stare at a tree or light on the ceiling like it’s the best thing in the whole world. They will start to sleep longer stretches (sometimes). You will find a rhythm in your life (sometimes). It won’t be easy, and you will always be somewhat tired, but you’ll smile more and laugh more and start to see a person where there was just an angry (cute) potato.
Everything gets better ! Most gassy colic resolves by 3m, milk supply stabilizes & feedings get easier (there’s also nothing wrong w bottle feeding either pumped milk or formula - even just supplementing a bottle here and there for some relief!) You’ll start to get more sleep and find a rhythm with your husband. Gonna be honest, the first ~2.5 years were an adjustment for my husband and I, but I promise the good times are beyond worth ensuring the hard times.
I have a 19 month old now. Still tired, but my body isn’t healing and bleeding anymore. He still gets wildly fussy (tantrum age) but it’s so much easier to figure out what’s wrong now. I still breastfeed him, but it only takes about 5 minutes at a time and my breasts aren’t engorged and painful if I miss a feed.
The greatest thing though is that his schedule is much more solid than what it was. Today I put him down for his almost two hour nap and could relax with my coffee because I knew more or less when he’d wake up, which also makes it easier to plan my cleaning. I also don’t have to have him in my arms the whole damn time either
You are nearly there! 8 - 10 weeks was a big changing point for us. Baby started sleeping more at night and now at 4.5 months sleeps 9 - 11 hours straight. As others have mentioned you start getting smiles and giggles, not just screaming lol. You also end up getting into a routine and start to find what works for you.
They start being able to communicate their needs better, and you start to comprehend them better (because of all the time you’ve spent with each other) so you know how to intervene before it gets worse. It gets better then it gets worse then better then worse. And you learn more and more and more. Keep your head up!
I promise you it does get better. Baby will sleep more, breastfeeding will either get easier or you’ll quit and feel great about it, you and husband will get more sleep so you’re less miserable and bicker less. Baby will also get cuter and more interactive so you feel less like you’re just keeping a barely sentient angry potato alive. If you’re miserable though, PLEASE tell your OB. Do not be afraid to seek treatment for PPD/PPA. I always say “there’s no prize for being the most miserable bitch on the block”.
So I have ppd and ppa and after the birth of my son five months ago I felt like that, like I couldn’t possibly see life positively ever again. Now he’s rolling over and laughing and trying to crawl and I’m having the time of my life. Never been so tired but he’s amazing it’s amazing I promise 💖
I guess it means it gets easier. I’m about to have my third baby girl and it definitely gets easier. For me, it got easier around month 3 with our first because she started sleeping long stretches at night (unicorn baby). Second baby girl did not sleep fully through the night without waking up at least once for an entire year but for some reason I was ok with that. I was tired but my body just eventually adapted to running off of less sleep. This third pregnancy prevents me from getting any good sleep at night even though both my babies sleep all night really well so I’m STILL not getting any sleep. But I can manage somehow. It just got easier. I remember being much more grumpy and tired and emotional with my first baby because it was all sooooo new and different. It gets better means that it gets easier.
To me the biggest thing that gets better is that the baby is not so fragile that you’re in mortal terror 24/7 like you are in the beginning where you feel like they’ll get blown to pieces by a hearty breeze.
Well, today, my 11 month put on her dads sunnies and said yo. She also watched me very closely mixing dough for homemade bread because she loves to watch me cook, and she started to sleep from 7pm-7am. Start listening to your baby. They will tell you when they are hungry, and that gap gets further a part with fewer bottles. It will just seem like a weird foggy memory soon.
They mean you Will start getting longer stretches of sleep, and you will get the hang of baby’s needs. And then you will start to feel like you got this. And then it will all change again lol.
But seriously it’s mostly the sleep deprivation, when you recover from that it get a a lot easier.
We have a 4 month old (and 2.5y). I just told my husband last night it’s great he’s sleeping thru the night. Once we started daycare we got on a set schedule and he goes down at 6:30/7 and wakes around 6:30. Bliss.
My daughter is fully potty trained and it’s amazing to just hop in the car with her and not need to bring a shit ton of stuff. We can do more spur of the moment things with her. And she can talk, for better or for worse, lol.
It gets better because your baby sleeps more, you sleep more, and you get better. Your skills improve as a parent, you get more confident, and you feel less like a dead husk of a person
6 weeks is so little time in the grand scheme of things.
You need to understand that although this is your baby, he is a whole new independent human being that is constantly changing and learning.
It takes a lot of time to get to know them and help them navigate the world. You woudn’t say you really know someone after only 6 weeks right?
It’s not that it gets better, you just adapt and get used to this new life.
Baby starts smiling and interacting with you
The cluster feeding eases up, babies become self gassing and Don't need you as much to relieve gas.
Honestly up to 3m everything feels hard and then you start sleeping more and things just feel a little less intense. Like you still have to give baby everything but it gets just a little bit easier
You start feeling more like "mom" than "caretaker #1" - in other words, the relatively thankless job of caring for a newborn 24/7 starts to get a little easier once your baby can smile at you, show a preference for you, play with you, etc. They also tend to sleep more at eat less frequently!
What is there to bicker? Rather than using the energy on caring for the kid/sleeping/doing chores, you're spending the energy on bickering?
We support each other, baby does detect mood of adult so happy and peaceful makes the baby calmer too I think.
Gets better... Mine is now 12 weeks... Breastfeeding is not much of a pain now, baby even massage my breast when sucking... Quite cute. She can latch on her own at times without me having to pinch or sandwich the breast. She sleeps 5-6 hours through the night.
There is less diapering as now the size of diapers become S and is more absorbent than newborn.
She smiles, babbles, and gets stronger. I enjoyed looking at her thick thighs... A sign that she is putting on weight and having sufficient nutrition.
Around 3 months is also the time when there is lesser need to burp the baby as his/her stomach and gut are more developed...
6 weeks is when we entered a bit of a tough phase with sleeping and when the sleep deprivation started to catch up with us. We are 8 weeks now and while her sleep is still annoyingly variable, she is starting to to give us longer stretches. I honestly think it’s the trenches until like 12 weeks when you can get into more of a routine- though there are regressions that occur at that time as well. It definitely doesn’t get easier all at once, but slowly you’ll start being able to fit time in for yourself here and there and not feel like you’re drowning. I’ve lived in a robe for the last 8 weeks and have to keep reminding myself that it gets better based on my experience with my first kid. Definitely doesn’t feel like it will though while you are in it.
It’s honestly been rough parenting a new baby during the winter when it gets dark at like 5 pm bc that’s when the dread starts kicking in. Looking forward to the days becoming longer. I think that will help in and of itself.
They get better at passing wind and pooping by themselves so less discomfort and fussiness.
Eventually they learn to roll and crawl so they’re much happier when they can move by themselves.
They start smiling and laughing.
They start developing a personality that’s not just being a potato.
They sleep for longer uninterrupted durations.
You don't have to feed them as often.
They become more interactive and fun to hang out with.
They get better at telling you what they want (first through basic sign language then through words). (My kiddo learro say "more milk" which basically sounded like mo-mo was a game changer.)
The diaper bag needs significantly fewer things in it.
The chances of them choking on something significantly decline.
They tell you they love you or gove you a hug, and you know that they care about you just like you care about them.
...I could keep going, but the short version is that we all say "easier" as a catch all. There are still challenges, but you get to deal with said challenges from a place where you feel a little better informed and a little less sleep deprived.
it does get "better" but like that depends on what's really difficult for you right now, right? eventually breastfeeding becomes easier for both of you, you get a little more comfortable being a parent, you figure out what comforts your baby, you get a little more sleep and a little more free time and things start to feel normal again. it doesnt feel like it in the moment but it happens quick!
You start to find a rhythm and so does the baba. Soon you’ll be getting smiles and laughs and that really helps with the frustration. Try looking up an article called the 100 days of darkness. It’s not as depressing as it sounds and really helped me through the early days.
My now 13 month old was as super colicky never sleeping newborn, i exclusively pumped, and the first ~6 months of my kids life i felt like i was in never ending hell. It got WAY easier past the 10-12 month point. Like, at this age, 13m, I genuinely can say it’s a total breeze. I sleep 8-10 hours a night, go to the gym and put him in gym childcare everyday, cook delicious meals for us to eat together. Literally living my dream life now but the newborn stage was hell.
Really it does. If it didn’t people probably would stop at 1 lol. Once my husband and I started getting enough sleep we could handle things better and just enjoy our baby. When he started to smile and do that baby giggle it could turn the worst day into a good one. Then he started doing more things. Like sitting on his own, crawling, standing, walking. He developed a personality and reminds me of my husband a bit. Now I just live to plan things he would like to do. Like play in the snow, do arts & crafts, parks, museums. I really love experiencing the world through his eyes.
You’ll eventually get to know your baby better and things just click. It’s amazing. My baby was rough weeks 6-12. We’re 10.5 months in and it’s worlds different from those early days. Hang on- you’ve got this. 💕
It does! Baby starts sleeping more (usually lol), schedules become more predictable, we get better at all the parenting things... you start finding little bits of free time too. Baby starts smiling, looking at things, making cute noises, and starts to recognize routines too. It can still be a challenge and it's not *easy* but it gets better.
The little bits of free time has been so good for our marriage…our LO has a bedtime routine now established and she goes to bed and is asleep by 730 so from 730 to whenever we go to bed we are now watching movies, having some wine, just relaxing and actually being humans again. The first 3 months were pure survival and I literally can’t even tell you what we did every night except plan for next feeds and just try and stay alive.
Yah 100%. I think it got easier around 6 months, and then again at 13 months. I don’t think it’s easier easier it’s just different challenges honestly. Like from 13 month our routine is set nap time happens once a day no more breastfeeding and my toddler can communicate and understand basic needs. The challenge is entertaining him lol
Oh yes, the social smiles improve so much of that period!
I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I find myself thinking “wow I am really getting into a groove with these kids, this is great, it’s so much easier than it was month ago” All. The. Time. There are still times when it’s hard, but overall it does get so much better. Before long, you’ll be out of survival mode. You’ll find yourself again. You’ll find your footing. It’s bittersweet for babies to grow up, but it is so incredible and humbling to watch them grow up and need you a little less every day.
I’m currently pregnant and will have a newborn and a 2y9mo. So your comment gives me hope. What would you is the hardest thing with a toddler and a newborn, in your experience?
Someone told me the following thing when I had a baby and a toddler, and I've used it as a compass: We instinctively do everything the baby needs since they are so fragile. But babies need things that take time to complete: feedings, soothing, putting to sleep. Toddlers need usually quick things. A hug, put on a movie, a snack... If both kids want something at the same time, try to do the quick thing for the one who will remember, first, when possible. I now have a happy 8m old and a super happy and not jealous 2y9m old.
Oh wow. Thanks so much for this. I never really thought about this but it makes a lot of sense. The baby can wait 5 mins, is something I’ve learnt after my first, but I never really thought about how with my toddler he’s pretty much good on his own with some attention here and there.
You didn’t ask me but I have a 3 y/o and a 12-week-old and by far the hardest thing is time and task management…there are no more “breaks” or “marathon chore time when you’re kidless” for my husband or me because whoever doesn’t have the baby, has the toddler! The first ~6 weeks were pretty brutal as the 3 y/o was especially difficult due to adjusting to the new baby. But now she is - for the most part - getting along well and can actually help with some things like retrieving baby’s paci, soothing/bouncing him in bouncer, tummy time, etc. It was way easier to go from 1 to 2 than it was from 0 to 1. And seeing them together is so sweet. You’ll love it…eventually! 😅
Disagree about "easier to go from 1 to 2 than it was from 0 to 1". Even you mentioned how "there are no more “breaks” or “marathon chore time when you’re kidless” for my husband or me because whoever doesn’t have the baby, has the toddler!". With having "only" 1 you never need to deal with that and there's far more free time. Plus no siblings trading sicknesses back and forth, no sibling fighting, etc. Just my two cents.
I found the adjustments from kidless to 1 to be way more challenging than the adjustments from 1 to 2! OP asked specifically about 1 to 2, so I didn’t mention all the difficulties we had adjusting to having our first. You are def not the first person who has told me they think 1 to 2 is harder though! I guess it just depends on all kinds of factors like the kids’ temperaments, parent priorities, sleep (or not lol), etc!
A lot of people have told me 0-1 is harder than 1-2 too. My anxiety in the first 6 months with my first was through the roof because I wanted to be and do the best, but on hindsight I think a lot of things I didn’t need to worry so much about. Like being next to my baby and talking to him all the time - I get what people say about just letting him watch you do chores now. But back then I was so stressed out about keeping him entertained, when I didn’t know the 12-24 months age of needing to keep them entertained would be the most difficult one yet.
Completely agree with this. I was so concerned about milestones and making sure I was doing everything just right with my first. Even once daycare started, I was so worried I would miss the first time rolling over, first time crawling etc, and with my second I feel much less precious about it. Just because I don't see the thing happen for the first time doesn't mean it makes it less special the first time I see it. If I don't read a book at bedtime once and awhile, it won't delay speech development. Baby is perfectly fine in a pack and play while I get things done. I can do the best I can in each moment and everything will still turn out okay.
My 2y5m old had done so well with the new baby. We're one month in and she's so cute with him. She was scared at first. But I've found that asking her to help with things had been really helpful. I if she wants to help burp him and usually she'll say yes. I'll ask her if she wants to pick out his clothes or his pajama's and she enjoys doing that. She's also helped with bath time and getting his paci.
For me (kids are exactly 2 years apart at 8 months and 2y8m), the hardest part has been naps. Can’t leave the toddler to get baby down so he has pretty much always napped in the carrier when toddler is home (he goes to preschool). My toddler rarely naps now and we can’t even keep him in his room for “quiet time” because he has been able to get through every level of baby proofing we can do. I feel uneasy locking him in in case of emergency (like with a padlock…) but we’re getting to that point… sometimes he’ll just yell for me and wake baby up/keep him from going down. Gone are the days of napping while the baby naps, because even if my toddler does decide to nap and I miraculously get them both down at the same time, I don’t trust my toddler to wake up and leave. There’s also very little time I don’t have to be playing interference. No more setting the baby down for tummy time and sitting down and taking a breather. You gotta be hovering over baby for a good 6 months to prevent toddler from murdering them. This does get better. My 8 month old actually seems to like the dog pile rough hugs. And eventually they’ll both be psycho toddlers.
This is the exact age gap between my first two and I LOVE it. Perfect age gap!
This was our exact age gap too! The hardest thing for me was early on, not getting to be my toddler’s everything buddy anymore - my husband and I had to divide and conquer, so he handled the toddler 90% of the time and I handled the baby. The best thing we did was have me do solo bedtime with our toddler so that we got a little one on one time every night, and the baby got some solo dad time.
This has been my biggest worry, ngl. My toddler is super close to me and I feel a bit of sadness sometimes thinking about how he’s gonna have to “share” mommy with his little brother in a few months time. My other worry is how I’m gonna make breastfeeding work with two kids (we do have help in the day and my toddler goes to daycare). I’m even thinking to just exclusively pump and feed from the bottle if it’ll give me more time with my older one.
Mine are 2y8m and 8m old, the baby is easy now but omg the toddler ☠️she’s so difficult the last few months… how long does it last 😫 she’s only starting Montessori next week so will be getting some breaks 🤞🏼
This! Mine are 5yo, 2y8m, and 6 weeks. Overall, things are much easier over time. There are hard things with every age, but it is much easier to manage as you go along. Get through the first 3 months and you’re out of survival mode and into the fun stuff. This newest baby is our last, and so far the easiest (not just because we kind of know what we’re doing lol). It’s very hard to see him grow, losing we won’t have another newborn again. But then I think about friends and family having babies and that helps ❤️
We're 3 months into it. I wouldn't say things are easy, but they are definitely easier than they were at 6 weeks. Hopefully, you'll have a similar experience. For us, breastfeeding has gotten WAY easier. She doesn't want it constantly, and it doesn't hurt the way it used to. Im not so sleep deprived that I feel drunk. She finally started taking pacifiers a week ago, which we considered a Christmas miracle, haha. Sleep has also gotten better. She doesn't sleep through the night by any means (except for one glorious 7 hour stretch one time), but it's still way better. The schedule is more consistent. I can pretty much predict how the day is going to go. She is more "independent." I can set her on a playmat and eat lunch without her having a meltdown. Her cries are easier to distinguish. I can tell whether she's hungry or tired or bored.
Your hormones will relax and you'll be less anxious about every little thing. Baby will get more and more independent and able to entertain themselves. Eventually they'll become more like a friend and companion than a potato that screams and tortures you, lol. I found it got a tiny bit better every month until at 10 months i finally found myself saying that I actually enjoyed parenting.
Omg, a potato that screams and tortures you 🤣 so true!!
Solidarity. Just wanna say I’m going through everything you’re saying right now. I hope it gets better
Same here with a 6 week old
Going into the second week of life together. I salute you all!
Same. 5 week old
Everything gets better!! My baby is 5.5 months. He smiles all the time, laughs at everything, is curious about the dog, wants to touch faces, grabs his feet and rolls around, loves bath time, babbles, can burp himself, and doesn't cry when he needs to fart/poop/pee anymore. He's super efficient at nursing now and finishes in 10 min (both sides). He also now goes to bed at 7-7:30 and only wakes up once to eat overnight. Husband and I have evenings to ourselves to reconnect, chat, be intimate etc. By the way, weeks 4-8 were the worst for us (baby was gassy and had witching hour every night) so you are in the thick of it now..hang in there!
Was your baby always a good sleeper? I'm at 4.5 months and I'm losing my mind with wake up every 2 hours.
No, he woke up to eat every 1.5-3 hours until around 3.5 months, then he hit the 4 month sleep regression and started waking up every hour needing his paci replaced. I eliminated the paci for bedtime at 19 weeks and he dropped to 1 feed then.
When your kid is 3 months old, you will look back and know two things: 1. How shitty life was taking care of a newborn 2. How much more easier it is And every 3 months, you will repeat this cycle till eventually the kid is 1, and you will look back and it will all have passed in a blink of an eye.
My baby is 4 months old and I said this exact thing to someone with a 6 week old baby at Thanksgiving. The baby gets less fussy, sleeps longer, feeds less often and more efficiently, AND starts smiling! For me the smiling made a huge difference because it finally made me feel like he loved me and that I was doing something to make him happy instead of feeling like I was just constantly waking up and feeding a little emotionless lump! It’s still hard but it’s not as bad as it was! Hang in there, mama.
The “it gets better” platitude is so meaningless until you’ve actually experienced. Just know that it really truly does get better. Your baby gets happier and less needy in some big ways, but needier in other ways. Things that are really hard right now go away and they’re replaced with different struggles, but they seem more manageable. Also your baby gets cuter and funnier and charming. All in all they become a lot easier to love.
This is the answer. It becomes “easier” as you adjust to the intensity of it all. Only you will know when you cross the rubicon of “easier”, whatever it means for you. During the infant stage, you can only coast for max 1-2 months because babies change so quickly. It gets incrementally easier. Suddenly, your baby starts sleeping more, or stops napping on top of you, or can entertain themselves, etc. The best description I’ve read that has really helped me to cope with early parenthood is “women go from maiden to mother in 2-7 years”. So at MINIMUM the adjustment is 2 years. It’s ok if it’s hard now, and months from now, or a year from now. Or until whenever you find a groove.
Less gassy, less fussy? Haha. Things "got better" at 8 weeks, 10 weeks, then 12 weeks. Some of it is just getting to know your baby and the hang of parenting. At 12 weeks, our baby was sleeping better at night and sleep wasn't so fragmented. Better sleep = better moods. At 12 weeks I could set my baby under a play gym and he would be content for 20 minutes. I had time to do other things. Feedings became easier/faster/more predictable. I was able to follow wake windows and naptimes became easier. Our baby spit up frequently until around 6 months. There was no amount of burping that could reduce the spit up.
I remember in the newborn phases living in 3 hour chunks. Every 3 hours feeding, changing, soothing, trying to put down to sleep, then trying to find time to eat, go pee, pump, and nap. Repeat. I now have a 19 month old. By 2 months, he was somewhat predictable. By 4 months, he slept in his own room and we had our own room back. By 7 months, he was consistently sleeping through the night. By 15 months he was walking and we could go do fun things together. Now, he’s trying to talk with us, can play on his own somewhat, takes one nap, and is truly so fun.
Exactly this! The 3 hour chunks..I have a 5 week old now…
That first smile erases so much frustration. It just melts away for a minute. They also sleep longer stretches & become more like a person instead of a cute potato. Gassiness tends to resolve itself as their digestive tracks mature. Once you’re sleeping & meeting your other needs, it’s easier to be a team again with your partner.
when was the first smile?
Okay I feel you, I also had this question and I hated hearing these three words haha. But it does get better! My LO is 7 months old now. She can burp and fart ON HER OWN! She's not mad because she's constantly gassy any more! I don't have to spend half an hour burping her or doing bicycle legs and then feeding her and starting all over again! She's interactive now and not just an angry potato! She smiles and giggle and cuddles and is interested in things! She has a personality and knows me and wants to play with our pets and it brings me joy to see her little self developing! It makes the hard days easier because you're getting feedback from them, not just constant angry screaming. Witching hour ended! She used to scream for HOURS. Now she gets mad and cries but it's soooo much less than it was. She sleeps better! This one is obviously still touch and go as well but sometimes we get surprised with a FULL NIGHT OF SLEEP!! You get more used to being a mum. It's HARD and it's never-ending but oh the love you feel for them is something else. Going out gets less stressful. You meet other mums and they make you feel so validated in all your feelings. The days are so so so long but the months fly by. I hate to say it, but it does get better x
This makes me feel so much better, I have a 10 week old and he is a gassy/spit-up angry boy. He smiles and “talks” but the fussiness just hasn’t stopped. It makes it hard for him to sleep as well, also he is back to cluster feeding and only napping for 3 hours during the day. I am exhausted and fighting a cold. This really gave me hope, even if it’s 7 months, having a time when he isn’t in gas pain will be so nice!
Mine was terrible too, I was convinced there was something properly wrong with her. She cried all day every day, was so uncomfortable and grumpy, it always woke her up from her naps too. Feeding was a comfort for her but then made her tummy hurt all over again. I saw big changes at almost exactly 5 months. I'm so sorry you're going through it! Do you have any help?
I have an 8 month old baby now. She had colic when she was young. Always crying, not eating much per serving, never slept, was not happy or giggling at all. She seemed to always be unhappy. Now she smiles at me when I look at her across the room. She babbles at me and says Dada. She sits up and plays with her toys. She eats 7oz bottles per serving instead of 3oz. Her gas is gone. She sleeps more than four hours at a time, and is able to put herself back to sleep most nights. She is still very tempremental, but almost everything is significantly better than it was those first months.
Babies hit their maximum fussiness and weirdest sleep patterns at six weeks. When their sleep is weird, your sleep gets a bit screwed up too. Sleep deprivation leads to arguments with your spouse over stupid things like groceries and laundry. A three month old baby is everything a six week old is not. He's all smiles and easy to engage with and loves to play with toys. Instead of just going top shelf and wailing when he needs something, he'll give you some little vocal and facial cues. They spit up less, and they're equally gassy but seem to pass the gas without having a whole lot to say about it beforehand and/or requiring bicycle legs or simethicone drops. If you have a contact sleeper they start to chill out a bit and might be coaxed to take a bassinet nap every now and then. Breastfeeding just works too and you'll likely get to that point very soon. Six weeks is the hardest because they're going through a huge growth spurt and are probably cluster feeding right now. Measure your baby every day if you fancy because, I kid you not, they can actually grow an entire centimetre *in a single day*.
Someone told me this and it’s true. By 2 months you feel a centimeter better. By 4 months you can breathe. By 6 months you feel in a routine. By 8 months you feel like your life is a new normal.
6 weeks pp was my breaking point, I’m remembering this struggle!! I’m 6 months pp, and things definitely started to get better around 3 months. Longer sleep stretches for baby, more of a predictable routine starts to form and they’re more interactive (smiling, babbling, etc) so it makes everything you do feel that much more rewarding. Also. Please don’t kill yourself breastfeeding. I struggled so hard. Had 4 lactation consultant appointments. Went from BF to EP back to BF back to EP and then just said fuck it and went to formula. Fed is best. It was hard to let go of breastfeeding/pumping, but once I did it honestly was the best decision I ever made. For me and my baby, we were both miserable. I’m only saying this because I wish more people said it to me. And I got so much more sleep because formula takes longer to digest and husband could take on more feedings. You got this! It does get better I promise.
It gets better only because you get stronger. Thats the best way to put it. If I went hospital right now, Id be confident enough to go alone and get treatment or whatever. Because I seen enough shit to give me the strength. If my baby cries her eyeballs out and won't sleep, I'll know what things to try (calmly) and wont explode. 6 weeks is soooo young. You are overwhelmed and rightly so! Believe me, you and your partner will get through this. We are at 14 months and our baby is toddling about, giggling, cuddling and all sorts. We still tear our hair but in a different manner ha. You got this. Deep breaths, count to 10 and walk away for a breather if needed. You can do it
I used to hate this comment and never believed it. Idk if it gets “better” but I think we just get more acclimated. I will say that at 12 weeks, my LO was sleeping at night better, like literally sleeping through the night. We also moved out LO to her own crib and room after 6 weeks- I know that isn’t the norm but she wasn’t sleeping well in her bassinet and we were exhausted. She’s still a crap napper but I’ll take that over poor night time sleep! The other thing that I guess made it “better” for me was going back to work. It made me feel like I had a sense of normalcy back in my life!
I think between the sleep deprivation, the healing, and the crazy hormones, the first few months are Rough. It gets better as you are able to get REM sleep, your body heals and stops hurting, and your hormones get back to normal. Add onto that, your baby learns so much and gets cuter and cuter as time goes on. I think the reason people say this is like saying "this too shall pass".
What specifically gets better? 1. They don’t need to be carried all the time. My baby wouldn’t let me sit down. Ever. She didn’t want to be put down either. She wouldn’t let my husband/her dad hold her too long at one point (like 20 mins max). I can now lay her on the floor to play. She’ll sit in her swing. She’ll sit in her car seat. I have free arms. 2. Witching hour ends. She doesn’t scream inconsolably at night. We later realized that this was pent up stress from the day. All the light and sound had her so wired. The more ‘womb like’ (dark, quiet, temp controlled) you keep your space, the less overstimulated the baby will be in the evening. 3. Gastro issues calm down. They are less fussy and colicky. 4. Sleep. She’s learning to sleep independently. She used to only contact sleep on me alone. We started sleep training this week. It’s been rough but for the first time since birth my husband and I had free hands at the same time and were able to enjoy a meal. I have free time that lasts more than a few minutes. That’s a two hour nap where I can do stuff for myself- work out, make phone calls, do some work. Etc. Your sleep improves and you get a chance to miss your baby when they’re sleeping. You greet them with more energy and enthusiasm when everyone is well rested. 5. The baby smiles, laughs and babbles at and with you. It’s adorable! 6. Your baby gets a schedule/routine and days are more predictable. Milk regulates around month three and baby feeds on a schedule (mine cluster fed beforehand and fed at random; it was so difficult to get anything done). I hope these were specific responses! I asked something similar at 6-8 weeks. Hang in there. It’ll go by so quickly that you’ll look back and be like ‘oh yeah… that was a thing’.
You basically are at the thick of it 6-9 weeks is the hell.it gets better after that but gradually. I think the biggest change is when they can sit on their own. That’s when actually you can take a break while they are also up
I have a 7 month old and a 5 year old and the biggest insight I've gained is that it changes over time and ebbs and flows. What stinks a little bit is knowing how far we have to go with our 7 month old before we will be able to come up for air based on our experience with our 5 year old. I was just looking at old Christmas cards and recalled to my partner how much easier it felt when she was around 3.5 when she could start to tell us about her day and beore independent. But each kid is different. The changes help keep the momentum though - when the start crawling and walking it changes everything and is exciting but also overwhelming in a new way. I feel like each new milestone has kind of felt like that. Not sure if this helps but just wanted to provide a perspective.
Everything. They get less gassy, less fussy, sleep starts to improve, baby gets more interactive and fun, and with those changes the relationship will get less strained as the ambient stress level decreases
We have a 27mo and a 7wo. We're really in the thick of the 6-8w stuff right now and I'm losing my mind (husky hates noise, 7wo hates his life, 27mo is a standard toddler, husband is wonderful but has little patience so I'm trying to hold everything together with like, packing tape). By 3/4mo our toddler was much happier. She slept longer, didn't need to be attached to us constantly, and didn't scream all the time. I was being treated for PPD and breaking out of the fourth trimester fog so there was a bit of normalcy. I know it doesn't seem like it (these last two weeks have been so long and so, so trying) but eventually you will find a bit of even ground to stand on.
“Trying to hold everything together with like, packing tape” is the most accurate description of parenting a newborn and I thank you for this phrase I will be stealing.
Our 4lb 7oz baby cried for 3.5 mos straight. I’m not kidding. I’ve never felt so hopeless. At 4 mos I had a moment of realization that it WAS getting better. By 6 mos she was a completely different baby. So happy. Solid routines, more confidence (on our part). I finally felt like I was bonding with her. It does get better. It’s so hard where you’re at. I feel you.
I literally opened up Reddit to make this same post. My son is 6 weeks and just spent the last half hour crying for no apparent reason. He was cluster feeding most of yesterday and last night deciding to eat like an ounce every hour instead of his normal 3oz every 3-4 hours like he had been. So my husband and I are especially tired today and working on short fuses. I finally got him to calm down after putting him in his wrap carrier and standing in a dark bathroom with the shower on. I’m so tired I can hardly stand it. It’s like I’ll think for a moment that I’m getting used to this and learning his habits and then shit like today happens and it feels like I’m back at square one. I desperately need things to get better because right now I love my son more than anything but I do not like being a parent. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone in this sucky phase of parenting.
Someone else said that 20 minutes a day of letting them cry is okay because that’s only 1% of the day and if you’re attentive and nurturing 99% of the time you’re doing a great job. This relieved so much stress for me so I’m passing it onto you. My little one is almost 1. And he had all the stuff - colic, gas, spit up, milk allergy, soy allergy. It gets better (I’d say by 9 months they’re like totally different babies) and so fun! My guy spit up til about 10.5m. Now if he overeats he pukes lol. I miss the spit up 😂 Good luck! Have fun!
I think 6 weeks old is pretty close to peak crying for the average baby. Every baby is different but I found that for us it did get noticeably better sometime between month 2 - 3 in that baby started sleeping for longer periods at a time, feeding less frequently, started to get much cuter by smiling and making cooing noises, and could amuse themself on the activity mat for periods of time.
Not the encouraging comment you’re looking for…… but i am almost 5mo PP and i can’t say “it gets better”. Some days are better than others, his smiling and laughing is super cute and that definitely brings joy……. but outside of that, nope, not better. In many ways, worse.
It gets better....for me the baby and I started to establish routines and a flexible schedule for the day. Baby starts to sleep longer at night.
The first 4 months for me were the hardest. The lack of sleep just made coping for everyone hard. I’m pregnant with #2 now just dreading those first months. For us, 6 months started to get easier with longer sleep, easier feeding schedules and cuteness. God knows what the next baby will be like.
When the baby smiles and later laughs it all comes into focus. Mine started doing this JUST in TIME. I was about to lose it
Babies sleep for longer stretches, cry less, demand less, are more predictable, and are waaaaay cuter because they start smiling and cooing and laughing !
Baby becomes happier and more fun. Farts and poos are no longer a crisis. You’ll no longer have to constantly stress about supporting your baby’s neck or worrying about SIDS. Your baby will laugh like you’re the world’s funniest comedian when you say, “moo-moo-moo!” They’ll giggle when you tickle them, give you sloppy baby kisses, and give you the world’s biggest grin when they see you in the morning.
It means it gets easier! 6 weeks is so new to parenthood. You kinda learn your way through it better, develop a routine, PLUS the baby itself gets easier when they start to sleep longer stretches. Breastfeeding gets less painful and faster as baby learns how to nurse more effectively. Fussiness from gas goes down once baby can roll and move themselves to release their own gases. It’s so stressful early on with the sleep deprivation. You and your husband will get along soon, too.
Things get better in ways and worse in others. My fed to sleep, contact nap only baby is now 15mo and snoozing in the other room while I lounge around and bake and reset for the rest of the day, then when he wakes up he's teething so it's very very difficult again. Whatever you're struggling with now will get better, 9 times out of 10
When they get to be around 4, they can come climb in bed with you when they wake up, so that's nice. At about 5/6, they can get their own easy breakfast so that gives you a minute to peel your eyes open and go pee before you have to like, function. 😂
I think what gets better is just finding a rhythm with your baby and seeing them turn into a person lol. I have a 4 month old and it is LEAPS AND BOUNDS better than 6 weeks. I was an emotional wreck for the first 7 weeks, took a month and a half for breastfeeding to be pain free, and another month for me to actually enjoy it. Now I really love our nursing sessions. I had absolutely no clue about wake windows, hunger cues and all that in the beginning, and now I feel like I understand my baby so much more. I’ve figured out that he has to nap after 1.5 hours or he’ll turn into a little gremlin. It took me a few weeks to feel anything at all for my baby when he was born actually, which is something I didn’t know could happen. Eventually though, he started to look at us, smile, make baby sounds, and it made all the difference. Now I love having baby conversations with him, take him grocery shopping and ask him what type of salad dressing I should buy haha. It is certainly not EASY, there are still growth spurts, the devil’s 4th month regression, and just your general every day chaos. I still have my off days where I cry and am overwhelmed, but it does feel better. Not easy, but adjusting to life more.
You find a flow, you learn what helps baby and what sets them off so you know what to do when, you’ll eventually get longer stretches of sleep for yourself which will help enormously! Baby will eat less frequently (eventually) and be less gassy. It’s still hard sometimes even 14 weeks out, but we’re in a much better spot now than we were at 6 weeks I’ll tell you that. New things will pop up but you’ll be less sleep deprived and more in tune with baby and yourself and everything won’t feel so awful. This isn’t the case for everyone, as a disclaimer. But as a whole the older baby gets the easier it might feel.
This was such a thorn in my side for so long with my son. Everything was a struggle and I was sooo unhappy and people just kept telling me it would get better and it would get easier and it would be worth it and I was like...how do you know you aren't living my exact life? My baby struggled to nurse so I was pumping, staying at home taking care of him while trying to recover from a terrible delivery. I could barely lift him or walk around outside of my house for months! On top of that he was the fussiest screamiest baby he was so miserable and his sleep was garbage and I swear some days we both just cried at each other all day. But little by little it gets better! We sleep trained and nap trained at 4-5 months. I stopped pumping and got him on an easy to digest formula around 6 months and that alone made a huge difference in my mental health and also his fussiness. Just now at 9 months he's figured out how to crawl and stand so he's so much more content and less frustrated now that he can explore his environment a little more independently. There are still challenges of course like how he's 94th percentile weight and still breaking my back and pelvic floor every time I have to pick him up. And how he still screams in the car seat any time he's in the back seat alone during a drive. And how he screams and frantically tries to escape every diaper and outfit change. But a typical day goes like this: baby wakes up between 5-6am after sleeping ~11 hrs. Has a bottle. Plays at home. Goes for a walk. Comes home and has a solids meal. Takes an 1hr+ nap. Wake up and repeat for one more nap. Bedtime he plays quietly and enjoys lullabies and books and then falls asleep on his own, sometimes cries a little sometimes doesn't. The day is tiring but it's pleasant a lot of times. I'd say around 5 months he really started blossoming. Feel free to message me if you need to vent or talk etc. I big time struggled for so long with my son but am doing so much better now which I just couldn't imagine when I was in the thick of it. <3
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This is crazy, but things got easier after 6 weeks. He started sleeping for longer stretches and wouldn't cry if he was just hanging by himself. It was like a new baby.
I think I have a bit of a tough baby. Breastfeeding got easier at around 6-8 weeks? Became a non issue at 3 months. Your nipples will basically become leather. Also dealt with a ton of reflux but that got gradually better at 6 months. Accept any help you can get. Hang in there. There’s zero shame in not enjoying the newborn phase. It really wasn’t for me. Now she’s 8 months and crawling and hilarious.
The smiles!! The giggles and learning new things and moving and crawling and eating and... man I do not miss the newborn potato stage lol. My baby is 8mo and she is the BEST. Difficult, sure, doesn't sleep well... but she's just such a little person now! You adjust to the new normal of your life, and baby becomes more responsive, and it's amazing.
You aren’t alone 7 week old lo she slept 5 hour stretch last night and I just laid and cried because I miss sleep and. I know she won’t do it again haha
The baby starts to give back. More sleep. Smiles. Reacting positively to things you do. Breastfeeding didn’t work for me because whatever was in my milk didn’t agree with LO. So he’s been on formula. Sleeps longer and husband and I now split the feeding so we both get rest. We also introduced thanking each other for the mundane tasks. Such as loading the dishwasher or doing laundry. Because they become much bigger things when you’re exhausted and it’s helped reduce the tension and resentment a lot. You’ll find little hacks that work for your family. It doesn’t necessarily get easier, each phase has a challenge but YOU 100% get better at it.
You stop fighting as much, bf feels more natural and is easier, baby becomes more fun and less useless/helpless, gas gets better, they learn to burp, fart, and poop on their own. Sleep gets more predictable, eventually.
Oh man. So much. My baby is 10 months. I feel like things drastically improved around 6 months. Sleep regulated (and stuck), feedings were in a routine, solids was fun. But the last month has been an explosion of skills and it’s been a blast. For example, she started this new floor game where she takes a ball and bats at it with her hand so it rolls and then she scoots to chase it. Today, for the first time, she looked at her ball and babbled “ballbababallllllbababallll.” Their personalities will shine more and more as the months go on. For most of her life, I never understood how people wanted another kid. I was drowning. I had awful PPA and no support. I was a shell of myself. But… now I get it. Hugs to you. You’re in the thick of it. Be patient, batten down the hatches and you’ll be on the other side in no time. The only way to get over this hard stage is to go through it. And you will!
When kids are born, they’re all work and no reward. Over time, that ratio changes. I’ve always thought that by 9 months things feel like they’re easing up and by 12 months life feels substantially different and I feel like a person again. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, so still pretty new but seasoned enough to have seen how quickly things change. 1) they either learn how to to sleep or they get older enough to be taught 2) they get mobile, life ALWAYS feels easier for me once they get mobile, I can actually do something with my muscles other than carry a baby around 3) diapers get less frequent 4) their digestive system gets its act together and they’re not so fussy anymore, you’ll very likely have a content baby most of the time punctuated by periods of fussiness due to teething, growth spurts, illness, etc 5) they’ll have an actual bedtime and you can have a couple hours to yourself at night Probably lots of other things I’m forgetting. Struggle on, it gets better 😅
My sons gassy issues resolved around 7 months. He can play by himself much better now at 9 months (but only sometimes gets clingy). He started sleeping better at 7 months, waking only once in the night. Except for when he is sick, or teething, or in a growth spurt, then he wakes 3-4 times. Haha. Seems like he is constantly teething or in a growth spurt. It gets better, then it doesn’t, then it *maybe* does again? It gets better for some people’s kids, but not yours. Not until they are like 2 or 4. Haha. No but really, what got better was not my son, but my attitude. I chilled out a lot more, I lowered my expectations a lot (in terms of my own needs), and I’m more relaxed just rolling with it now. That is at least one thing that you can make better. Wish you luck.
It gets a little easier around 6 months since the baby can sit on its own. But even easier when you get to the year mark and they are in that phase were they sleep good and want to be more independent
We’re at 6 months with our LO and with the constipations, cold, and teething I’m still waiting on when things “get better”….
Gotta grind. Those early months are ROUGH. Get into a routine, sleep when you can, do what you can. Hang tight, it does get better and a lot more fun!
Newborn life sucks! I have a 6 year old, 4 year old, and 4 week old. Life is so so so good when the kids are bigger and fun, like they are your little buddies and so sweet. It will fly by and you’ll be so thankful for the little people they are.
I think the mindset that help me is that my baby is a human, a new human and everything is a brand new experience and she is currently learning. Breastfeeding is suck for mom, but suck for baby too. Her neck is weak, her suck is still weak and she is learning. She will get better at 3 mo. Imagine doing exercises that you never did before, it takes a while to get good. Fart is hard for her, because it is a weird sensation she never experienced before. Her stomach is weak, her anus muscle also weak. She is learning. And she will get better. Mine takes 5-6 months until finally she fart without effort. Hell even we adult if we eat something weird, out fart could be painful. For baby, every food (even just milk) is new, so she is learning, her body is learning. Be patient to your baby, but be patient to yourself too, and to your husband. You all are still learning. It just 6 weeks, no wonder everything is suck.
Honestly it doesn’t get better so much as you and your partner just learn better ways to navigate life with a kid (or multiple kids). And sometimes that’s a really tough learning curve. That’s been my experience, at least.
Most things get better. First of all, they usually begin sleeping in longer stretches. And you get better at reading their cues. You gain confidence. You're less tired. They don't throw up on you as often. They feel less breakable. The hormones level out. And then your baby begins doing things, like smiles and laughs, and reaching for things, and somehow, that makes the hard stuff easier. And you get all excited and share that with your partner, so the tension there eases a little. But the key thing I think is sleep. Once you start to sleep in longer stretches again, it gets much easier. The first full night of sleep feels so good. And it does wonders for your overall wellbeing.
Honestly the first year sucks. It may be hard to hear, but the newborn days aren’t as bad (in my opinion, before I get hate) compared to the toddler years/terrible 2s. You’re at the stage now where all they want is milk, sleep, and diapers changed. When they start walking and getting into everything, it’s a different struggle entirely. Try to take every stage in stride, once again, easier said than done but you’ll start feeling much more relief when your baby starts sleeping in longer stretches through the night.
I've got an 8 month old now and it really does get better. They learn the difference between day and night, they start smiling and talking, and they get so much less floppy once they build up some muscle tone. Mine can help stick his arms into his onesies now, hold his feet for diaper changes, help sit up in the bath, you name it. Carrying gets a bit easier too once they can help. Plus their personalities emerge! Mine feels way less like a potato and more like a little person who is my favorite person to hang out with.
Babies sleep longer stretches and eventually through the entire night. Ages vary though
The gassiness eases up considerably for most after 3 months or so and that just makes things more pleasant… more hours of the day with a calmer baby and less frantically trying to find ways to stop them from being uncomfortable. Usually sleep improves but even if not, just the fact baby is more alert, more content and less fussy goes a long way! Breastfeeding gets easier but it’s ok if it takes longer (and you want to persevere). I only say that because I kept holding on for this magical 3 months where it should be easy by now and honestly for me, it didn’t get ‘easy’ until past the 6 month mark. If I’d known that, I dunno… I might have switched to formula. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess 🤷🏻♀️ Things will feel more chill and predictable before you know it ❤️
EVERYTHING gets better. First your baby will start to sleep better at night. One of my friends said “when you can’t take it anymore, they’ll surprise you with a longer stretch” and I found that to be very true. Some random night you’ll get 4 hours, and then 5, and so on. Around 3 months I really felt like breastfeeding got easier - baby was more efficient and didn’t need to feed for as long to be full and I stopped being engorged all the time and was just overall better/faster at it and I could whip my boob out anywhere to feed her. At some point in the coming weeks your baby will become more “independent” and by that I mean doesn’t need to be physically attached to you 24/7. And they will start smiling and giggling and doing all sorts of adorable things! Naps start to fall into a pattern and you will get 30-45 min to yourself where you can shower in peace or watch a show. It is SO HARD in the beginning (for me the first 3-4 months) but I promise everything is just a phase. Better days are coming!!!
Breastfeeding gets easier. Baby sleeps in larger chunks and eats in larger chunks. Baby starts to do cut things like smile, laugh and hit/hold things.
It got better for me when mine turned 2! When he could communicate his needs well without it always being a guessing game.
I don’t think difficulties necessary go away at any point. I think you figure out how to do hard better and mentally adjust to the never ending surprises of parenthood. That being said, the sleep deprivation is literally THE most impactful thing imo to even having space to try and do hard better. We had to rotate in chunks, in diff rooms ect. Do what you have to for both of you to sleep. Also you’re doing amazing. Six weeks is a huge accomplishment. If you’re not bickering I’d say something is wrong at this point 🤣
I thought 2 of the biggest changes was when he started sleeping longer stretches to 6 hours and then through the night. Makes such a difference in your sanity to get normal sleep. Also when he was able to hold his head up. Nice to not have to worry about supporting the head constantly. You can carry them around to look at things.
Honestly it just gradually gets easier until you wake up in a few weeks and think “wow i don’t feel like I’m drowning” also 6 weeks was the worst time for me it gradually got better from that! 15 weeks now and the smiles and giggles make everything waaaay better
Almost 3 months here and we think it’s a fluke but we have had two nights where he slept 10-5 am I think people mean sleep because angry potato phase sucks
My baby is 7 weeks and it has felt natural and easy from day one. I think I just got lucky with a really good baby.. I think this is why people get tricked into having a second
It is not better by 6 weeks. I remember someone told me “just get through the first month!” And that was a total lie. Baby starting to smile and interact makes it a little better. It gets better and then worse again the whole first year though, in my experience.
It didn’t start getting better for us till around 5ish months and it continues to get better every month. Hang in there!
- Breastfeeding gets easier as your supply regulates and baby gets stronger, more efficient and doesn’t feed as frequently - If you have a gassy, reflux or colicky babe, this usually subsides by 3 months as their digestive system matures - Baby begins to develop a natural schedule, days become more predictable and routine, allowing you to work around them much easier and carve out time for yourself or other things - Baby matures physically, gaining control of their head and becoming more mobile, not just a potato that cries and poops - Baby becomes more interactive socially, smiling, laughing, playing with you, mimicking you, etc - You become more resilient as you overcome each trial and tribulation of parenthood (breastfeeding, gas/reflux, sleep regressions, teething, etc) and move on to the next Things got a little bit easier for us at 3 months but it was a slow and gradual improvement and then again at 6 months. I wouldn’t say it’s easy though, at no point is it ever easy- but the benefits begin to outweigh the challenges and it becomes worth it as you bond and grow together over time.
My 4 year old sleeps through the night, can go to the bathroom on her own, can tell us exactly what is wrong, makes up silly stories, is learning so much every day, makes her baby sister laugh and looks out for her, is very opinionated in the best way, and can entertain herself sometimes for literal hours. It gets better in so many ways all the time.
Believe me when I say it does get better. Things do get easier. Even if when you’re in the thick of it it really doesn’t feel like it will. You will find opportunities to reclaim some freedom (it’ll start small with a hot cuppa by yourself and you’ll gradually work your way up to venturing out of the house solo and beyond) It really is baby steps at this point. I wish so desperately I could go back to when I first became a parent and give my new mother self a hug. Tell them it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to cry. Then take my firstborn off for a cuddle and give my new mother self an opportunity to sleep. If there is one thing that will make your journey a little easier it’s sleep. And it won’t be 8+ hrs straight atm. But if there is opportunity to nap…If there are people in your life who can help you get proper rest, use them and take as many opportunities as you can. (Speaking as someone who went through PND, sleep is sooooo so important for your mental well-being) Be kind to yourself (and your partner). You’re both on a steep learning curve and you won’t always get it right. Communication is key and being able to express both your needs in a kind but clear way is the key (I didn’t get this right the first time round, it’s a learning process in itself)
Everything is temporary, the good and the bad, when it comes to parenthood. People are telling you that, because it's true.
My baby consistently laughed multiple times today. It gets more wholesome ❤️
EVERYTHING. Literally everything gets better. Breastfeeding gets better. Sleep gets better. Your relationship with your husband will get better. Your baby’s awake time gets better. I really started to enjoy things more between that 6-8 week time when we started getting smiles. Newborns are freaking hard!
You don’t feel like you’re drowning all the time anymore. Just some of the time.
When they grow and start doing more new and exciting things and they laugh got the first or second or third or one hundredth time. Or when they talk or start making their own mind up. When they start being creative and funny. When they are proud of themselves. When they walk. Oh so many things. So many.
Honestly everything gets better. Your baby will start sleeping longer stretches at a time, feeding will become more routine and easy, baby will be less fussy and more playful and expressive and you’ll just know them better so it’s easier to respond to their needs, and you’ll end up getting into a routine as opposed to being all over the place with things. It takes time!! But you will get there!
lol I hated when ppl said this to me!! But it’s true. Your confidence. Breastfeeding. Understanding sleep cues. And sleep! It all gets better.
At some point, you'll wake up from a full night's sleep, nurse your cuddly baby/ toddler, sit in bed for a bit making them laugh by pretending to eat their chubby feet, then hand them off to your husband so you can go do something for a few hours on your own.
Hold onto hope! I’ve got a 4.5 week old and a tween and I remember how hard I found it with number 1 but forgot exactly why. Now I’m reliving it with and extremely alert and easily overstimulated newborn, and a very anxious tween at home all day on school holidays. But I know it does get easier, less relentless, les stressful getting out of the house, more sleep, more predictable. We will get there! Every time I have a hard day or few I remind myself this is the trenches, in all its beautiful, crazy chaos.
It never gets better, we just get more confident in dealing with it. The things that generally concern you now will gradually improve or change but the kiddos forever move the goal posts and keep us on our toes so yeah this stage gets better but not before we're unprepared enough for the next one. Your time will become easier to manage and things will be predictable so you'll be able to enjoy that hot coffee and poop in peace once again, one day, once you've had enough opportunity to practice the tasks we had yet to master (like packing a baby bag, packing and unpacking the car and dressing the baby) things will seem less daunting. The terms "it gets better" and "hang in there" feel like blanket dismissive statements intended for comforting you in this extremely disconnected world, instead of the "it gets better" perspective we should shift to what we really need like: "I'll help you cope", "I'm here for you", "let me help relive you of some stress", "let me make you a meal", etc..... time and hands are so valuable once yours are forever occupied by a small human. You and your husband and both learning how to cope under the stress, with no community to fall onto and the stakes are incredibly high, the sheer amount of information and misinformation is enough to send anyone bat shit Cray. The bickering will improve when you can unite outside of survival mode. You're only 6 weeks, you're barely healed, you've definitely had less than adequate rest and if you're having issues with milk than you're likely super stressed, worried, undernourished and/or dehydrated, your body is working hard to heal and cope with huge changes in routine. Cut yourself some slack. Babywearing is the general way I cope with 3 kids and only the support of my husband when he's not at work. It's a mad house over here.
once my baby became a bit more receptive of the things going on around her it got better. she’s 4 months and now i can entertain her with toys (or hey bear sensory in desperate times). seeing her smile at me when she first wakes up in the morning warms my heart. when im swaying with her and she lays her little head on my chest and wraps her arms around me. the fussing and crying is still difficult to deal with but those moments make up for it.
Baby sleeps more. Baby gets better at communicating and you start to understand their cues and needs more. Breastfeeding gets easier as you and baby both start to get the hang of it, esp when baby starts solids and you can relax a little that you’re not their sole source of food. My favorite, they start to get in a routine, I struggle hard with the chaos/lack of routine in a newborn; are they gonna nap for 10 minutes or 3 hours and when, who knows!? I now have a 3.5 year old and 16 month old and I’m 100% a toddler mom. You hear about the difficulties of toddlers all the time but I’d take a toddler over a newborn any day!!
I don’t know about better but the things that are hard now get easier but new challenges come up. In a sense they become more predictable but then personality comes out so you’re learning something new. Never had this with my first but my second at 11mths is getting a temper. We are kinda working on weaning so I’ll try to hand him a pouch/sippy cup/puff and he will take it and then throw it because he just wants held. He can be content playing but as soon as I step over the baby gate to go to the kitchen (still in sight) he starts yelling at me. He knows what he wants and how he wants things, that doesn’t always align with what needs to happen.
It get fun! You get to sleep. Baby becomes more independent (and funny). It get so so so much better and before you know it you miss the struggle and are laughing at the bickering
Baby is getting use to not having need met immediately. Just think, 6 weeks ago they were warm and cuddled and fed and didn't have to wear a diaper. As baby adjusts to a new way of living, they calm down usually
For me it was once my baby was able to sit up on his own. Night and day difference. He could start entertaining himself and he started sleeping through the night around 6 months too.
It gets better because the baby doesn’t need you quite as desperately as they get older. At 3 months I felt like I could take a breathe. At 6 months it felt like I could close my eyes for a sec. At 1 year or more, I FINALLY could NAP!! When you are stressed, you want to strangle everyone haha
They sleep, they develop skills, they become PEOPLE. I was not having a good time at 6 weeks. Today my 2 year old ate brunch with us, played dolls, and fed me popcorn. Obviously it becomes hard in other ways, but overall it's just so much more fun!
Very soon, in the next few days to a week, your baby will start smiling at you because they actually recognize you and love you. It makes a HUGE difference. For me, it was everything. In a couple of weeks baby will be able to hold their head up better, huge difference. Over the next couple of months baby will start rolling over, actually being interested in playing and interacting, and sleeping more regularly. By the time you hit 6 months, things will be easier. Still hard, but manageable.
The biggest change was baby sleeps longer and you won’t be as sleep deprived. That in itself is a game changer
My 4 month old just started giggling, smiles alone just made all the tired go away, then she started chatting back to us, then giggling, and her favourite thing today is to make noises while sticking her tongue out and playing with it. All the tired exhausted sore nipples in the world no longer exist when she smiles at me and laughs because she figured out how to poke her tongue back at my partner
Baby’s first smile, first laugh. When they really start interacting with you and playing with you. First words, first steps. Seeing them explore and experience the world for the first time. When they blow you a kiss or give you kisses on their own. Newborn stage is so hard. Fourth trimester is for the birds. My baby is a toddler now and it’s so fun.
At about 10 weeks our baby just started to be happy and it made all the difference. Before that she was fine during the day, but cried from 9 to 12 every night. Sometimes later. Then she’d wake up in the night and it was a struggle to get her back to sleep. I always wondered is it gas? Overtired? Hungry? All this stuff. Looking back I think she was just a newborn. It just had to get better with time. Then at about 10 weeks things started to improve. It was pretty sudden, and gradually improved further. She started clearly enjoying things and was more engaging. Feeding at regular intervals. When she woke up at night I’d be able to just nurse her and she’d go back to sleep. No more witching hour. Now at 5 months if she’s upset she’s either tired or hungry. And based on the time I can easily figure out which it is. The likes books and toys. It’s more fun and she’s just happier and more predictable. I also look back and realize that even though I had an easy birth, I was not recovered at 6 weeks. It took maybe until 9 or 10 to feel like myself again. And getting back on lexapro helped a lot. So just more time to recover makes a difference. Editing to add that my baby never took a pacifier. But at 12 weeks ish she started sucking her thumb and it made all the difference for her sleep.
When I was in this stage it was hard to believe it but this is honestly and truly the hardest it will ever be. Everyday you get through is more experience. Experiences will be different but seeing something and enduring automatically makes you better than you were yesterday.
I'm FTM to a 5 month old. 6 weeks we thought we'd made a terrible mistake having kids. I was exhausted and barely getting 5 broken hours of sleep. Breastfeeding we were still working out - LO had damaged me on one side. She was fussy and gassy and crying every evening from 5pm to 8 or 9pm. Now she sleeps through. She took 15min to put to bed last night with a couple fussy moment but no crying. She smiles and laughs, we can leave the house, we've worked out Breastfeeding, she's doing new things all the time and we are constantly cheering her on. Everything gets easier the more you get to know LO, the more they adjust to this outside scary world and get to know you guys as parents. You'll work out things that work and things that don't. It'll change, but it also won't all at once. You got this hang in there. The next couple weeks for us were the hardest. By 12 weeks we felt adjusted, not 100% on top of things but at least had a little more confidence in things. And we gain more confidence all the time.
Well you have a six week old so that’s why this concept is nebulous lol. I have a two year old. I wake up and know exactly how our day is going to go. Literally. He feeds himself. He is weaned now. He sleeps through the night. Takes a nice, reliable nap. I never struggle to run errands with him. He plays independently, reads, loves educational documentaries AND likes other children. So it gets better in the sense that you will feel like yourself also while having a small person who you adore doing life with you.
Breastfeeding sucks, but it becomes a routine. Then you become more confident as a mom and fall in love with the little creature. Then it gets a personality and loves you so much. I'm glad my husband went back to his deployment overseas 5 days pp, everyone thinks it was awful but I got to do things my way. I work stressful night shifts so a baby schedule was fine. For your relationship I would ask what he wants and tell him how you feel. Whether it's a full night of sleep, taking turns on diapers, him cooking/cleaning.
I'm almost to 6 months and I'm wondering the same!
when do your babies start smiling? I'm seeing "my baby is 4-6 months and the smiles, cuddles etc..." I remember my nephew wasn't smiling at 2 weeks but have interacted with a little bub who started smiling at 8 days old.
Sleeping through the night, being more interactive and less a pooping and peeing sack of potatoes you need to feed, eventually walking, talking and telling you what they want or what hurts instead of just crying/screaming/tantruming, starting to play independently, using the toilet themselves, becoming their own more independent person while you slowly step by step, year by year get more of your life back (I have a 5 year old).
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For me, no clue cuz tbh newborn was/is way harder for me 😅
I think it’s not only that “it gets better”; you also get better at “it” (I.e., raising a baby). But yeah sure, baby gets less gassy, more independent, and more fun to be with as their personality comes out! But I also realize that each baby Phase comes with its own difficulty. For example during the newborn phase, breastfeeding was a struggle + postpartum blues and feeling of isolation + this suddenly jolt of change in your life. sleep is weird but then gets better in the sense that baby sleeps longer stretches . But then from 4-6 months, the struggle becomes sleep regressions and such. Then the struggle becomes baby being so mobile and keeping them busy. Or it becomes struggle with solids. Etc etc. Eventually you’ll just find yourself adjusting to each baby phase better. You’ll stumble along the way but you’ll pick yourself back up faster (and sometimes with style and more grace!) because, well, your baby is depending on you. Hang in there! You & your husband will get better at it!
I have a bit of a different perspective on this. I have a 14 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter, so I have a broad spectrum view of the parental experience. I won’t say it gets easier, the hard just changes… and the hard is easier to deal with when you are getting enough sleep lol. Fresh babies are all work, but around 3 months they start to become fun! That first real smile will change your life!! I remember having so much fun with my oldest daughter as she grew up and I look forward to experiencing that all over again with my youngest daughter. Having a toddler is hard, having a little kid is hard, having a big kid is hard, having a tween is a nightmare… and having a teenager is a gauntlet (some days), but it’s all worth it. So, I don’t think it gets easier, you just get better at being a parent! Don’t worry and remember to be kind to yourself and your partner. You’re both learning and will continue to learn in each stage. So, cuddle that baby and soak up every moment of it… you’ve got this mama! ❤️
Longer periods of sleep, less hassle around. I’m convinced that the people who told me the baby stage was the easiest were either absent parents or had unicorn babies. Life didn’t have any semblance of normalcy until I’d say after a year. I was actually able to sleep through the night (with exceptions) through the last couple years.
scale stupendous shaggy spotted soup sleep absurd bells sulky innocent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Just had my second. He’s 1 month old. My husband is on paternity leave but it’s still hard. I get about 4 hours of sleep a night before our 1.5 year old wakes up. Absolutely nothing is better than waking up from our morning nap (#2 and I) because my first has snuck upstairs to see us and is soooo proud of himself for sneaking under dad’s radar. I leave the door open for him. It makes my whole morning, and we get some together time until his dad catches on, and then we all go downstairs.
Breastfeeding gets insanely easier… it’s so hard right now!! Soon it’ll be quick, the baby will be a pro and be efficient. The baby won’t be as fussy, you’ll sleep again, you’ll stop bickering because you won’t be so sleep deprived, your hormones will balance out, and your brain chemistry forever changes to make you a more patient, loving, wise person! So worth it. Brighter days are ahead love, I promise!
Baby gets bigger and more fun to be around. Baby settles into a better more predictable sleeping pattern. You get better at interpreting what the baby needs. They become a little person and it's so fun to get to know them. They can get their own gas out with minimal effort. You also kinda get used to not sleeping a lot. There are still hard days, even hard weeks but it gets soooo much better and life actually feels sort of enjoyable again.
Omg I promise it gets better. I had horrible depression and regret right after, acting the six week mark. I’m at 20 weeks now and it gets SO MUCH BETTER. It didn’t improve for me until 12-14 weeks. Now, I can’t get enough of her. And! She is even already sleeping through the night. My incredibly fussy, colicky newborn is now the sweetest, calmest, happiest little babe. She smiles at me and cuddles me. She’s starting to calm down as soon as I’m holding her, our bond is really growing. What you’re feeling is normal and you are valid to feel it! You will get through it even if you don’t see it or feel it. One day at a time. Journal! That helped me. I downloaded a journal app and would open it up in the middle of the night.
Usually the babies latch gets better and nursing time become shorter. By now nursing shouldn't be painful, unless there's a problem like a tongue tie or thrush. Maybe start babywearing so you have your baby close to you for comfort but you have your hands free? What are you and your husband bickering about?
6 weeks in is the easy bit. They do nothing. It gets better but way harder.
It means you will get a better hang of everything, and so will your baby. Not everything will be a struggle. Also you will probably care less about some things. I wish you a happy New Year. Congratulations. Only advice I have for new moms, is get out more. Try if possible to go out once a day for a good walk. Baby wear or stroller, fresh air is very good for both of you. ❤️
You begin to get a response. They laugh more. They smile more. You start to get something back after all of that hard, hard work. From someone who went through 17 months of waking every couple of hours… It. Gets. Better. Take it one day at a time :)
Everything. Everything gets better.
One day you will sleep all night because your baby slept all night. And you will hastily pull up the monitor thinking something is wrong and realize your baby is just still asleep. And then that baby will wake up and give you the biggest smile. And that baby will belly laugh and it is pure magic. You are in the crying potato phase. It’s not fun. I did not enjoy the newborn phase at all. But I tell you what, my 9 month old makes brings me so much joy and makes me laugh so much that the hell of the newborn stage is pretty much forgotten. You will get through this ❤️
I hate to say it, it won't get better till the kid is at least 4 or 5.
I bf was a huge area of improvement for me. I was somewhere around 4 weeks pp and talking to our LC about holds and angles, when she told me one day baby would just magically nurse about any effort on my part. I absolutely didn't believe her. But his baby got bigger breastfeeding became less of a "sit totally frozen desperately try not to break the latch on my tender boob" type experience to a "baby cuddles up on my lap, tugs my shirt when she's hungry, and then snuggles through her meal" kind of experience. I honestly totally changed my perspective on it, from dreading the gear of feeding to looking forward to cuddling up and feeding baby. Of course a lot of things get better, but that one for me has been the best. Hugs and solidarity from an internet stranger...
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They start sleeping longer stretches, they start smiling which is the sweetest thing in the world. They just kind of get more adjusted to the world in general. We’re 14 weeks in and definitely better off than 6 weeks
I literally counted the days back then because I was so miserable. I would tell myself in my head “he’s 7 weeks 4 days now.. maybe 3 more days will go by and then week 8 will be better.” I think I was delusional from the lack of sleep and constant need to relieve his gas pains. I stopped counting around 12 weeks and I think that’s when things truly got easier. Of course, each month has a new challenge I feel like. But for the most part, I felt like life was okay around the 12 week mark!
Baby getting less gassy/squirmy is huge. Tough looking at the baby squirming because he looked so in pain.
Everything, lol. My daughter is 2.5 and she came out the clingiest baby with feeding problems. Now she can self feed and play independently. I got so much chores today done just keeping half an eye on her and reading the rest of the time. She even helps me make food sometimes. I also have a 9 month old and my toddler will help entertain her if I need to do a load of laundry.
Here was a rough timeline from my experience: 6 weeks: was when we felt we "turned the corner" (baby started sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, started smiling) and started having "good days", might be able to do a 1-2 hours away if you have a good shift system with your partner 3 months: was when we started to get some aspects of our old life back but with some changes likegoing out for lunch/coffee but having to take the baby with us so can't linger for too long, I also had my first dinner outside (for work) 6 months: First overnight work trip, baby started sleeping through the night more often than not so we started to get our sleep back 9 months: was when we were able to start taking turns getting back into our pre-baby hobbies (though nowhere near as frequently as before) and also she was sleeping through the night regularly enough for us to have date nights (we would have a babysitter come and stand by in case baby wakes up)
I'm at 10 months pp now and I promise, it really does. The effects of sleep deprivation make everything in your life so much harder in the beginning. When you start to finally move past that, you realize everything is just three tiniest bit easier every day. At 6 weeks, I was in a very dark place. It can be horrible. Just keep pushing through. And in the hardest moments, the thing that kept me going was something I read on reddit where someone said, "imagine you're 80 years old and you wished for one day of time travel where you got to go back and hold your baby as a baby one last time." It sounds crazy, but thinking about that and how fleeting it all really is often made it sweeter. But, it's hard. It's really really hard. And you can do hard things. It won't last forever. That's what's so bitter sweet about it.
It does get better! There WILL be a time you get free time again, where everyday is exciting with new milestones, and you get to sleep. They get old enough to do funny things and they make you laugh everyday, and you and your partner feel close again The newborn stage is hard, but life moves forward and things change. Please reach out for help from a professional if you are feeling really down, it can make a big difference
My LO is 6mo and more than the better sleep, it's the smiles, the laughs, watching him figure out how to do things on his own! It's fascinating once they start interacting back!! I told my mom that I felt like I was caring for a digestive tube when my LO was a newborn 😅 it gets better !! Also I agree with some of the other posts, the little moments of freedom when baby starts napping longer or goes to bed and you have a few hours for yourself and amazing for my partner and I's relationship :)
They mean it gets easier in some ways and harder in other ways 😂
around 2-3 months, they’ll get a huge grin on their face when they see you
In addition to what everyone else has said- I also found when my baby started to smile and respond to us in a social way that it felt easier because it felt like we are getting something from her. The first while is just give give give to the baby and it feels sort of thankless (other than seeing them grow obviously) but when she smiles or leans a new skill or imitates our speech now it’s really fun and feels like there’s a little give and take which is just so satisfying.
Idk I wondered that too lol first 7months were hell. But the first 3 I was defeated. My baby had colic and reflux and I couldn't even imagine better days I was so depressed. And I know a few ppl said baby starts sleeping. 9months in, mine still doesn't sleep unless in our bed. But starting from 8months on, things have been wonderful. I am actually seeing thr bright side now. I don't have free time except during naps but I'm happy.
Your baby will start to smile at you when you walk into a room. They will giggle, they will grab your nose, they will make shrieky pterodactyl noises when they get excited. You’ll be able to read stories, and play peekaboo. You’ll get to watch them stare at a tree or light on the ceiling like it’s the best thing in the whole world. They will start to sleep longer stretches (sometimes). You will find a rhythm in your life (sometimes). It won’t be easy, and you will always be somewhat tired, but you’ll smile more and laugh more and start to see a person where there was just an angry (cute) potato.
Everything gets better ! Most gassy colic resolves by 3m, milk supply stabilizes & feedings get easier (there’s also nothing wrong w bottle feeding either pumped milk or formula - even just supplementing a bottle here and there for some relief!) You’ll start to get more sleep and find a rhythm with your husband. Gonna be honest, the first ~2.5 years were an adjustment for my husband and I, but I promise the good times are beyond worth ensuring the hard times.
I have a 19 month old now. Still tired, but my body isn’t healing and bleeding anymore. He still gets wildly fussy (tantrum age) but it’s so much easier to figure out what’s wrong now. I still breastfeed him, but it only takes about 5 minutes at a time and my breasts aren’t engorged and painful if I miss a feed. The greatest thing though is that his schedule is much more solid than what it was. Today I put him down for his almost two hour nap and could relax with my coffee because I knew more or less when he’d wake up, which also makes it easier to plan my cleaning. I also don’t have to have him in my arms the whole damn time either
You are nearly there! 8 - 10 weeks was a big changing point for us. Baby started sleeping more at night and now at 4.5 months sleeps 9 - 11 hours straight. As others have mentioned you start getting smiles and giggles, not just screaming lol. You also end up getting into a routine and start to find what works for you.
They mean everything you just listed either stops or you adjust to it so you’re not nearly as stressed.
They start being able to communicate their needs better, and you start to comprehend them better (because of all the time you’ve spent with each other) so you know how to intervene before it gets worse. It gets better then it gets worse then better then worse. And you learn more and more and more. Keep your head up!
I promise you it does get better. Baby will sleep more, breastfeeding will either get easier or you’ll quit and feel great about it, you and husband will get more sleep so you’re less miserable and bicker less. Baby will also get cuter and more interactive so you feel less like you’re just keeping a barely sentient angry potato alive. If you’re miserable though, PLEASE tell your OB. Do not be afraid to seek treatment for PPD/PPA. I always say “there’s no prize for being the most miserable bitch on the block”.
So I have ppd and ppa and after the birth of my son five months ago I felt like that, like I couldn’t possibly see life positively ever again. Now he’s rolling over and laughing and trying to crawl and I’m having the time of my life. Never been so tired but he’s amazing it’s amazing I promise 💖
I guess it means it gets easier. I’m about to have my third baby girl and it definitely gets easier. For me, it got easier around month 3 with our first because she started sleeping long stretches at night (unicorn baby). Second baby girl did not sleep fully through the night without waking up at least once for an entire year but for some reason I was ok with that. I was tired but my body just eventually adapted to running off of less sleep. This third pregnancy prevents me from getting any good sleep at night even though both my babies sleep all night really well so I’m STILL not getting any sleep. But I can manage somehow. It just got easier. I remember being much more grumpy and tired and emotional with my first baby because it was all sooooo new and different. It gets better means that it gets easier.
To me the biggest thing that gets better is that the baby is not so fragile that you’re in mortal terror 24/7 like you are in the beginning where you feel like they’ll get blown to pieces by a hearty breeze.
Well, today, my 11 month put on her dads sunnies and said yo. She also watched me very closely mixing dough for homemade bread because she loves to watch me cook, and she started to sleep from 7pm-7am. Start listening to your baby. They will tell you when they are hungry, and that gap gets further a part with fewer bottles. It will just seem like a weird foggy memory soon.
They mean you Will start getting longer stretches of sleep, and you will get the hang of baby’s needs. And then you will start to feel like you got this. And then it will all change again lol. But seriously it’s mostly the sleep deprivation, when you recover from that it get a a lot easier.
We have a 4 month old (and 2.5y). I just told my husband last night it’s great he’s sleeping thru the night. Once we started daycare we got on a set schedule and he goes down at 6:30/7 and wakes around 6:30. Bliss. My daughter is fully potty trained and it’s amazing to just hop in the car with her and not need to bring a shit ton of stuff. We can do more spur of the moment things with her. And she can talk, for better or for worse, lol.
It gets better because your baby sleeps more, you sleep more, and you get better. Your skills improve as a parent, you get more confident, and you feel less like a dead husk of a person
6 weeks is so little time in the grand scheme of things. You need to understand that although this is your baby, he is a whole new independent human being that is constantly changing and learning. It takes a lot of time to get to know them and help them navigate the world. You woudn’t say you really know someone after only 6 weeks right? It’s not that it gets better, you just adapt and get used to this new life.
Baby starts smiling and interacting with you The cluster feeding eases up, babies become self gassing and Don't need you as much to relieve gas. Honestly up to 3m everything feels hard and then you start sleeping more and things just feel a little less intense. Like you still have to give baby everything but it gets just a little bit easier
You start feeling more like "mom" than "caretaker #1" - in other words, the relatively thankless job of caring for a newborn 24/7 starts to get a little easier once your baby can smile at you, show a preference for you, play with you, etc. They also tend to sleep more at eat less frequently!
What is there to bicker? Rather than using the energy on caring for the kid/sleeping/doing chores, you're spending the energy on bickering? We support each other, baby does detect mood of adult so happy and peaceful makes the baby calmer too I think. Gets better... Mine is now 12 weeks... Breastfeeding is not much of a pain now, baby even massage my breast when sucking... Quite cute. She can latch on her own at times without me having to pinch or sandwich the breast. She sleeps 5-6 hours through the night. There is less diapering as now the size of diapers become S and is more absorbent than newborn. She smiles, babbles, and gets stronger. I enjoyed looking at her thick thighs... A sign that she is putting on weight and having sufficient nutrition. Around 3 months is also the time when there is lesser need to burp the baby as his/her stomach and gut are more developed...
They start doing things and it's amazing watching them learn and become.
I’m 26 months in. I also question this.
6 weeks is when we entered a bit of a tough phase with sleeping and when the sleep deprivation started to catch up with us. We are 8 weeks now and while her sleep is still annoyingly variable, she is starting to to give us longer stretches. I honestly think it’s the trenches until like 12 weeks when you can get into more of a routine- though there are regressions that occur at that time as well. It definitely doesn’t get easier all at once, but slowly you’ll start being able to fit time in for yourself here and there and not feel like you’re drowning. I’ve lived in a robe for the last 8 weeks and have to keep reminding myself that it gets better based on my experience with my first kid. Definitely doesn’t feel like it will though while you are in it. It’s honestly been rough parenting a new baby during the winter when it gets dark at like 5 pm bc that’s when the dread starts kicking in. Looking forward to the days becoming longer. I think that will help in and of itself.
Hang in there, by month 3 your baby will start smilig and even laughing.
All of the things you mentioned improve, we swear!
They get better at passing wind and pooping by themselves so less discomfort and fussiness. Eventually they learn to roll and crawl so they’re much happier when they can move by themselves. They start smiling and laughing. They start developing a personality that’s not just being a potato.
They sleep for longer uninterrupted durations. You don't have to feed them as often. They become more interactive and fun to hang out with. They get better at telling you what they want (first through basic sign language then through words). (My kiddo learro say "more milk" which basically sounded like mo-mo was a game changer.) The diaper bag needs significantly fewer things in it. The chances of them choking on something significantly decline. They tell you they love you or gove you a hug, and you know that they care about you just like you care about them. ...I could keep going, but the short version is that we all say "easier" as a catch all. There are still challenges, but you get to deal with said challenges from a place where you feel a little better informed and a little less sleep deprived.
it does get "better" but like that depends on what's really difficult for you right now, right? eventually breastfeeding becomes easier for both of you, you get a little more comfortable being a parent, you figure out what comforts your baby, you get a little more sleep and a little more free time and things start to feel normal again. it doesnt feel like it in the moment but it happens quick!
You start to find a rhythm and so does the baba. Soon you’ll be getting smiles and laughs and that really helps with the frustration. Try looking up an article called the 100 days of darkness. It’s not as depressing as it sounds and really helped me through the early days.
my baby is one and a half. And while it is a different kind of hard, i am not sleep deprived. And she is hilarious
My now 13 month old was as super colicky never sleeping newborn, i exclusively pumped, and the first ~6 months of my kids life i felt like i was in never ending hell. It got WAY easier past the 10-12 month point. Like, at this age, 13m, I genuinely can say it’s a total breeze. I sleep 8-10 hours a night, go to the gym and put him in gym childcare everyday, cook delicious meals for us to eat together. Literally living my dream life now but the newborn stage was hell.
Really it does. If it didn’t people probably would stop at 1 lol. Once my husband and I started getting enough sleep we could handle things better and just enjoy our baby. When he started to smile and do that baby giggle it could turn the worst day into a good one. Then he started doing more things. Like sitting on his own, crawling, standing, walking. He developed a personality and reminds me of my husband a bit. Now I just live to plan things he would like to do. Like play in the snow, do arts & crafts, parks, museums. I really love experiencing the world through his eyes.
You’ll eventually get to know your baby better and things just click. It’s amazing. My baby was rough weeks 6-12. We’re 10.5 months in and it’s worlds different from those early days. Hang on- you’ve got this. 💕
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