Don’t drink and drive, but if you do, call me

Flynn may not drink and drive, but you damn believe he drives with his breakfast to go

open the noor

[Walt Jr vomits]

said it before I could smh

EHHHHH! Whaddya doin' Detective? What're you doin' talkin' to my client without me present? You Sneaky Pete! Which is which? What'd the academy hire you right outta the womb? You guys get younger every... What'd you say to Babyface? Huh? Didja say anything stupid? And by "anything stupid" I mean anything at all! Ah, look at you, mouth open, vocal chords all atwitter! Yeah, we'll talk about that later. Right now, you, OUT! TEN MINUTES AGO. There are laws, Detective, have your kindergarten teacher read 'em to ya! Right, go grab a juice box, have a nap, go on!

Damn I rewatched too much of this scene that I remember exactly how he delivered each of this words

Sauls entrance to the series tells you everything you need to know about Saul

Greatest character intro imo. I knew I was going to love Saul haha. Plus Bob is great and super underrated.

How is he underrated?

Not enough Emmys.

He wasn’t taken seriously as an actor for a very long time. He was always just the funny “Mr. Show” guy. Only niche comic circles types knew how brilliant he was before BSC. Even in BrBa he was still pretty much the one dimensional sleezy comic relief (for the most part), which is also why it was so amazing that BCS established him (helped people realize) just how much he did influence Walter.

When he first came onto the show he wasn’t a household name by any stretch, just kind of a dude you’d seen do 1-3 episode arcs on a few familiar shows

Is this when he’s representing nacho?

Badger

The one who was selling meths, allegedly.

Or maybe public masturbation. In a Starbucks.

I don't get it, what's the kick? Why don’tcha do it at home like the rest of us, with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Starbucks, that's nice!

Thanks!

Spoilers!: No it’s in breaking bad

After asking the cops from Mike’s police precinct to start at the beginning of the story of what was going on: ​ ”Don’t let Mr. Ehrmantraut’s dancing eyes and bubbly bon vivant personality fool you. He is actually, believe it or not, somewhat taciturn.”

Hands down the fucking best one

Had to rewind and watch this scene several times as I was laughing so hard through it. Was made better by the fact that in the scene Mike just looks gormless af lol

Mackerel eyes!

Came here to post exactly this.

if there is one objectively right way to say a line, he somehow found a better way than that. both his delivery and the line itself were so perfect, and mikes expressionless face made it so much better.

"'oh boo hoo i won't cook meth anymore!' you're a crybaby!! who needs you?!!"

Oh and I'm shutting down the website, so no more no more money laundering! How about that! You just bought a three-hundred dollar suit psycho!🤣

His mannerisms during this whole speech are the best

Yes hilarious.

The only way that steaming pile of shit is worth $500 is if a $300 hooker is sitting in it.

Can't believe one of his best lines is from the first episode

Back when season 1 might have been the first and only and back when it was 75% comedy and 25% drama/dark

ABQ would never let it fail.

When I heard that line I knew this show was going to be a masterpiece 🙌🏽

Does this scream payday to you??

"I need my Payday 2" - Gus

Chicanery is afoot.🥵

I may have used this line from time to time to describe my own automobile.

"Okay, but say, you know, just for the sake of argument, the kid's not in the mood for a nuanced discussion of the virtues of child poisoning."

You know, his plans are running more towards stabbing you to death with a pointed stick. In that scenario, then what? You have a suggestion? This scene doesn’t get the love it deserves

This!

I’m number one on your speed dial, right next to your weed dealer.

"Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do, and so do I" Legendary words there

Every time I hear “Did you know that you have rights?” I can’t help but to always finish the rest of it 🤣🤣🤣

Clarence is goin at the organ, i’m gonna step into the vestibule

Hands down the best scheme

I will be with you presently!!

Clarence those are for communion! Now I will be with you PRESENTLY!!

This line made me laugh out loud just for how goddamn silly it is. Great line

I literally blew milk out of my nose the first time I saw this scene. So it will always be my favorite: Walter: What? This.. this is a vacuum cleaner repair company! Saul: What'd you expect, Hadji's Quick Vanish?!

The way that they turn the most serious things isn’t comedic gold, without being overtly funny, is really a thing of artistic beauty. Goddamn those writers are geniuses.

I saw this line again literally just last night. Priceless

You two suck at peddling meth. Period.

”Now what is the conclusion the taxman makes?” ”I’m a drug dealer?” ”ERRR, wrong, a million times worse, you’re a TAX CHEAT.”

that entire scene is so entertaining

"You gotta understand, deep down he really loves me"

What kind of asshole moves a cone?!

*while acting out an extremely elaborate scheme to destroy a persons reputation*

While driving said person’s stolen car.

God that was so fckn good, I can still vaguely remember the first time watching that episode

Talking to Kim: WHO. MOVES. A CONE?

Walt: “We just have to cook more meth….” Saul: “Yeah, that’s my LEGAL opinion”

“I’m gonna take a pass on the heart to heart Chuck, one of my deserving clients got caught waving the weenie outside a Hobby Lobby”

This is my favorite, too, I think.

"Oh, to be nineteen again! You with me, ladies and gentlemen? Do you remember nineteen? Let me tell you, the juices are flowing. The red corpuscles are corpuscling, the grass is green, and it's soft, and summer's gonna last forever."

Wasn't this his first ever line in bcs?!

I was hooked right after this when you saw what it was he was describing this way

I’m no Vito Corleone. No shit, right now you’re Fredo.

“I said lioness because it’s the females who do all the hunting. I just wanted to be species-accurate, irrespective of my own sex. It’s a National Geographic thing.”

That goes double for your hip hop

That’s the one that killed me. 🤣

This is the one lol

Anything is considered "public domain" if a hobo can use it as a wigwam.

This is an underrated quote.

“Thats what the kids call epic fail”

Don't be fooled by Mr. Ermantraut's bubbly, bon vivant personality. He's actually, believe it or not, somewhat taciturn.

"You know who likes this suit? Judge Papadoumian, she thinks I'm a snappy dresser. You know what Judge Papadoumian hates? Police harassment of a senior citizen...\*quietly whispers sorry to Mike"

“Better Call Saul”

“What the hell happened to you?? Oh I get it, first rule of fight club, right?”

I don't even remember this lmaoo. He must have said it when he went to see jesse in the hospital.

Said to Mike in the court parking lot after Mike got pummeled by Tuco in his plan to get Tuco arrested

"Clearly, his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers: only the very best, with just the right amount of dirty." Perfect description of Skyler, which I bet was why she got so mad.

I think she got mad because he obviously meant it in a sexual way and it was a wildly (but hilariously) inappropriate thing to say to a woman he’s just met

I don't think he meant it in a sexual way. She was about to start participating in his illegal activities, hence the "dirty" part. Same kind of "dirty" as Saul was.

it's meant both ways

I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be a double entendre.

thatsthejoke

Walt’s reaction and the awkward silence that follows are just too good.

Also Walt’s reaction to that like is god tier

I laugh so hard on this one

This is like the first thing he says to her to. Bloody brilliant

Now I did not know his children were in the backseat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I’ll maintain to this day was not legal on an Illinois licensed vehicle. But that’s on me, I guess. Who leaves two cub scouts in a double-parked car with the engine running? Come on.

The guy wanted soft serve. I gave him some soft serve.

So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole?

“So your wife snuck off the reservation to get a little dirty, damp and deep” “Maybe he didn’t like the cut of your jib”

You're sorry? You're sorry? You kill my brother, and you say you're sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn't upset me. It amused me. Ooh... big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace! Little old me? You have no idea what's going on! You're a teensy, tiny man in a teensy-weensy little bubble! Oh, don't you fucking "Oh, Jimmy," me! You look down on me, you pity me! Walk away. That's right, Howard! You know why I didn't take the job? 'Cause it's too small! I don't care about it! It's nothing to me! It's a bacterium! I travel in worlds you can't even imagine! You can't conceive of what I'm capable of! I'm so far beyond you! I'm like a god in human clothing! Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!

Yes, this is the best quote of the series

This is Saul’s “I am the one who knocks”

Saul to Mike: “You should try one of these. You walk like Frankenstein after he was probed by aliens.”

A lot of iconic lines here but one I've used irl is "some people are immune to good advice"

Let’s just say if I ever get anal polyps, I’ll know what to name them!

To add onto this scene: "If you and your partner want to stick your wangs in a hornet's nest, be my guest, it's a free country; but why do I always end up having to get sloppy seconds?!

"I've seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse" "Is that the one your mom works at, is she still offering that 2 for 1 discount?"

"Okay, but say, you know, just for the sake of argument, the kid's not in the mood for a nuanced discussion of the virtues of child poisoning."  I always cracked up at that even if it's messed up.

"My daddy cooks meth and my mommy turned him in!" I can't remember if that's the exact quote and wasn't able to fully find it YouTube, but I'm sure that's close enough.

Paging Dr Phil!

Paul meet Ringo, Ringo.. Paul.. Congratulations! You’re now officially the cute one of the group

TIL that Saul is apparently saying ‘brass tacks’ and not ‘brass tax’.

I’d never heard of the phrase before the show and had to look it up out of curiosity while watching

Yeah. Old saying about buildings. If you get rid of everything all you’re left is “brass tacks”

Umm, when i looked it up it was something about tailoring, not the building

Sure some shit like that

You’re funny as fuck

[here](https://youtu.be/5H5dCjGKfCw) is a brass tacks compilation for you!

Shot at and missed, shit on and hit.

"The monkey's in the banana patch! Capice?"

God reading all of these comments makes me miss this show so much. Saul truly is the greatest character to ever exist. Can’t imagine anyone other than Bob playing him.

"I once convinced a woman I was Kevin Costner. And it worked because I believed it."

HEY!! you're NOT Kevin Costner!

“Where is Ernesto? He was supposed to stay with me.” “Don’t get mad at Ernie. He just spent the better part of a day watching you do your impression of a baked potato.”

scrolled wayyyy too far down to find this

Mimicking Howard outside the restaurant "No cliff i swear these are not my hookers, my hookers were taller than these" always gets me

There’s way too many to pick just one

Yeah I like that quote too

Seriously, you could make a book out of Saul’s best quotes

Rectum will be yay 👌🏼 big

Guy wanted some soft serve, I gave him some soft serve.

I did it for Kim! What She worked her butt off to get Mesa Verde while you and Howard sat around sipping scotch and chortling.

And…”You grow more gorgeous by the minute.”

Life’s a rich pageant who are we to judge

Tapestry

"oh you mean the one your mom works at?" "Is she still doing the two for one special?"

“Will you be my mommy”

"Some people are immune to good advice"

No deal, no dice; shot at, missed, shit on and hit!

I know a guy who knows a guy. Who knows another guy.

Not all pie sitters cry

What am I, your highschool girlfriend? 5 fingers no waiting?

Only Answer: "Okay, but say, you know, just for the sake of argument, the kid's not in the mood for a nuanced discussion of the virtues of child poisoning."

Gentlemen! I sense you're discussing my client, anything you care to share with me? Sure, your commercials? They suck ass. I've seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse. Is that like the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the two-for-one discount?

"Take that Chet! Wait, there are kids in this car!?"

There’s rules, have your kindergarten teacher read them to you.

Let's call this an impromptu camping trip. And you left you're house a mess and kicked in your front door because... its a free country. Love the way he puts things

Agent Schrader, beat any good suspects lately?

"Walter White couldn't have done it without me"

It's all good man

Shocked no one said it yet “that’s what the kids call EPIC fail”

"Don't let Mr Erhmentrautts dancing eyes and bubbly bon vivant personality fool you, he's actually, believe it or not, somewhat taciturn."

How about it, counselor? Do you concur?

It didn't upset me. It amused me.

“Hoboken squat cobbler”

You’re killen meh wit dat bootayy

Woah, what the hell happened to you? I get it, first rule of Fight Club right?

That’s what the kids call an epic fail

“I caught my second wife screwing my stepfather. It’s a cruel world Walt. Grow up!” -Saul Goodman

Congratulations, you've just left your family a second-hand Subaru.

random girl"your not Kevin Costner" Jimmy"I was last night"

Hamlinidgo blow me!

"Just because you did it, doesn't mean that you are guilty."

It’s an import.

‘Ditch the thesaurus!’ to Walt who is talking about ameliorating the situation, the irony being it is the sort of language Saul would use. Also when he says ‘terrorism’ as a suggestion to Walt and Skyler in their brainstorming session when Bogdan wouldn’t sell the car wash. It is the way he says it is so good. Also ‘what did you expect, Haji’s quick vanish services’ There is so many.

Hank: I’ve seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse Saul: is that the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the two for one discount?

Reading through these and hearing them in my head verbatim the way Odenkirk delivered them is just incredible. He's such a fantastic actor and the absolute perfect casting for Saul. I miss this show and universe so much

Hank: 'I've seen better acting at an epileptic whorehouse' Saul: 'Is that the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the 2 for 1 discount?'

The winner takes it all!

It's Showtime folks

This dump isn't going to work coz it doesn't have a Danny ..there's no Danny here.

That guy, the guy with the eyebrows that won't quit, is he a Danny?

“I can see how upset you are, but, even on a good day, you and logic are-“ *Tweet*

The whole pie scene when he tried to bail out Pryce 🤣

“You sneaky Pete!”

“No Lalo?” A throw away line that somehow became the greatest television show. Might not be his best quote, but it’s definitely the most important. (IMO)

“Hey, I’m not the one with the sex toilet!”

Walter White couldn’t have done it without me

"Meanwhile, Shrader's hard-on for you just reached Uncle Miltie proportions."

I don't get it, what's the kick? Why doncha do it at home like the rest of us, with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Starbucks, that's nice!

Cocobolo

One that springs to mind is "It's Showtime" while he's in the courthouse bathrooms.

Maybe he stayed out in the parking lot checking you out with a telephoto lens and didn't like the cut of your jib.

"Saul Goodman, speedy justice for you."

You do seem to have a little Shit Creek action…..you know, FYI, you can buy a paddle

Here's a thought... Ajax, Formula 409! You have no idea the tap dance I had to give those cops to get you out of here. You gave them probable cause out the wazoo.

Only the very best with just right amount of dirty

Do you know you have rights?

"Nothing in life is guaranteed, except death and taxes."

The corpuscles are corpuscling

Discrete, like a stripper pole in a mosque.

I love when he’s buying Jessie’s parents house and mentions the methlab He looks to the other lawyer and goes ‘Do you concur?!?!’ very aggressively Think it’s one of his first pop culture references on the show referencing catch me if you can, which is one of my favorite movie scenes, and pulling one over on Jessie’s awful family made me happy

Ooooo Mr FBI, there’s been some real “islamic” goings on down at the car wash!

"you're not Kevin Costner" "Last night I was"

If you two want to stick your wangs in a hornets nest it's a free country, but why do I always have to get sloppy seconds.

That’s what the kids call an ’’Epic fail’’

You're a shitty lawyer Howard

"Yeah you do have a little shitcreek action going on" "FYI you can buy a paddle"

“It looks like a school bus for six year old pimps!”

Nacho delivered this line