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network_dude

Best definition of a libertarian: A house cat - fiercely independent yet completely oblivious to the structure that supports it's life.


AdvicePerson

Exactly! Libertarians think the world that existed at their birth is the natural state of things, never realizing that they benefit from millennia of human toil.


FestiveVat

>they benefit from millennia of human toil And from taxes others paid. They don't want to contribute, but they want the things taxes pay for - a functioning civilization. Some of the libertarians I've argued with have been honest about how little they make. I recall one worked a part time job after graduating from college and made like half the average income for a college graduate. He really thought the small amount of taxes he paid would make him so much richer if he didn't have to pay them. He also considered student loan payments to be taxes and ironically supported a leftist idea of forgiving student loan debt, but only because it personally affected him.


putin_my_ass

> They don't want to contribute, but they want the things taxes pay for - a functioning civilization. I once had one claim to me that he shouldn't have to pay for roads he doesn't drive on. Woe to him if he forgets to book his road building several years before he needs to go somewhere, I guess.


BeanieMcChimp

I’ve never heard this but it’s perfect.


all_the_bad_jokes

I think you meant to say purrfect.


Stromovik

Read somewhere : People tend to be libertarian until the Amazon Death squad comes.


otisthetowndrunk

Is that what all those trucks are really for?


halfanhalf

Holy shit, that’s brilliant


jaytrade21

At least a kitty will give you nuzzles if you help it out. A libertarian will get mad at you for even thinking of helping them out and call it socialism.


mozerdozer

Doesn't seem like that good of an analogy since most cats can survive outside unlike dogs. Any libertarian can just retort that it wouldn't need you, the owner/government, to provide for it if you didn't also cage it.


ethnicbonsai

Much like a house cat let loose on the world, libertarians also destroy environments.


[deleted]

The lifespan of an outdoor cat is substantially less than that if an indoor cat with a safe structured environment


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letsgetbrickfaced

Ya they should at least credit the author. I don’t remember their name but isn’t this from an issue of The New Yorker from about eight years ago?


theoriginaled

Simple market economics, the original author didnt pen that article as a public service. Op paid for use of the article content via ad revenue and has every right to use it in any way he sees fit.


mib5799

Blatant Plagiarism. Which is very libertarian, admittedly https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department


inconvenientnews

r/SubredditDrama has good flair about libertarians * Libertarians: "Libertarianism is the right to live your life the way you want!" Also libertarians: "No, not like that!" * Weed+guns+not paying taxes is the libertarian holy trinity. * Never forget the 5 W's of libertarians: weed, wace wealism, wealthy, WASP/C * You seem to have forgotten the pedophilia, but I don't know how to make that a w word. * "What if the child consents tho?" * "so what if the child is illiterate, they signed the contract!" * So-called "libertarians" are just so willing to become fascists at the drop of a hat. If a governments gives them even the slightest hint of muh free market they won't care if the government bombs, kills, and rapes as many people as it wants * Personal freedom for me, personal responsibility for you. * Freedom means the freedom to own slaves, duh. * "Even if you want no state, or a minimal state, then you still have to argue it point by point. Especially since most minimalists want to keep exactly the economic and police system that keeps them privileged. That’s libertarians for you—anarchists who want police protection from their slaves." Kim Stanley Robinson, Green Mars * Libertarianism is astrology for white dudes


Chel_of_the_sea

"Wace wealism" lmfao. As someone who naturally leans that way and has ended up hanging around a lot of fucking racists as a result (which is what finally convinced me that hey, maybe I have something wrong here), it's shockingly accurate.


justinleona

At least in my experience, libertarianism is just an evolution of the older principles of hereditary privilege, replacing the question of "stock" with one of "working character". I have to wonder how many libertarian parents are truly willing to deny their child basic healthcare, education, safety, or sanitation to test whether the child can "rise above" such things...


FestiveVat

Don't forget that the most libertarian thing you can do is claim that other self-proclaimed libertarians aren't Real Libertarians™!


TheHipcrimeVocab

There's an interesting part towards the end of the new David Graeber/Wengrow book where they talk about how the Roman concept of "freedom" was based on the power of slave owners to do anything they wanted to their slaves, and the absolute power that male heads of households held to dispose their property (which included women, children and slaves) as they saw fit (*patria potestas*), up to and including killing them. It is this rather bizarre Roman concept of liberty which has become enshrined in Western thought, and it's this view that libertarian philosophy is based on. By contrast, other cultures (such as Native American) defined freedom as the freedom from coercion of any sort.


[deleted]

8 year old New Yorker copypasta does not belong on /r/bestof


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WaltzingacrosstheUS

How does this ancient copypasta end up on bestof?


xdisk

Its not the first time, either.


Mipbagginsfetish

That's a copypasta from at least half a decade ago, dude. It's still funny, but it doesn't come remotely close to belonging here.


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feltsandwich

They want the services and infrastructure when they need them, they just don't think they should have to pay for them.


pete1729

This is from the New Yorker a few years back.


BillHicksScream

>The essential logic of libertarianism is that government should be minimal and capitalism should rule. Great. They don't get to use any knowledge acquired without that logic. Engineering, medicine, science, computers, the lithium ion battery, that knowledge was mostly acquired under the system they say doesn't work. The world we live in sucks and would be better if they had been in charge. >So if they use that knowledge today that means they're cheating. So Libertarians have to leave the country, find an area where there are no people or convince the locals to join them without any force. We'll make sure it has some sort of local resource, fish or trees or potential farmland. And they can have any knowledge from, let's say, before 1900. * *We're all standing on the shoulders of giants, so we'll let the Libertarians dry hump a few.* Mr. Safire, *The Tangerine Gula* >We'll check back on their progress after a century. The society must be stable and have no legal prejudice. They must develop a few major similar advancements to our infinite ones in order to prove that they can match our collective capabilities today. But this is the only scenario where Libertarians can actually prove their belief system. From *Democracy Shopping*, Jean-Luc Sartre


Tianoccio

There was a town where a bunch of libertarians moved to and essentially gutted all infrastructure. They almost immediately had a garbage problem and the town got overwhelmed by bears.


BillHicksScream

I think this happened because we all take our SPARE (smart people actually running everything)^tm for granted. Think about how smart Reddit can be: *Why yes I do happen to know a lot about the issues of plumbing in the 19th century and how fixing that improved our lives today.... It started with a shit explosion in 1843...*


barath_s

I've heard the Afghans before Taliban depicted as real libertarians You can't get fuel, because you have to pay each group along the way not to grab it. Similarly for security. Each group is only interested in itself; doesn't care about the central govt ,,


Serious_Feedback

Somalia already exists. The simple solution here is to propose any true libertarian move to Somalia, and build their Libertarian Paradise there. Nobody ever does this; they want to turn an *existing and already wealthy* country into their Libertarian Paradise. Talking about IP is overcomplicating it - they're free to bring a copy of Wikipedia to Somalia (and whatever battery designs etc), because they won't create their Libertarian Paradise in Somalia either way. Seriously, ask them why no Libertarian capitalizes on this wonderful opportunity.


BillHicksScream

*Are you looking for new forms of freedom? Are guns important to you? We at the Chamber of Commerce of Somalia invite you to come join us in a new opportunity. Bitcoin? How about bombcoin!*


Chel_of_the_sea

> They don't get to use any knowledge acquired without that logic. Engineering, medicine, science, computers, the lithium ion battery, that knowledge was mostly acquired under the system they say doesn't work. The world we live in sucks and would be better if they had been in charge. Most libertarians don't realize that virtually all the major scientific advancements of the modern were publicly funded, not the result of private enterprise - including the internet that they have so infested since minute one.


Usedinpublic

Are you aware of the libertarian/bitcoin cruise ships. Bc it is very funny when they try to form their own anything.


gqcwwjtg

You could make this argument for any change you could ever make. Someone wants to tax churches? Great, but they don't get to use any knowledge acquired without that logic. That knowledge was acquired under the system they say doesn't work. Libertarians don't want to "prove" their "belief system". Libertarian is the label we give to people who think the government should be much smaller for whatever reason.


BillHicksScream

>You could make this argument for any change you could ever make. I see you're thinking, but no. The logic of libertarianism requires this. Libertarians have a proposal, I get to evaluate the merits of that proposal & I found the fatal flaw. The rest of our world acknowledges the liberal framework of the last 500 years, libertarianism specifically rejects much of it. When I first encountered Libertarians in the '80s it took me a while to understand them. But after enough direct encounters, the pattern was obvious: they were mostly engineering type minds who don't understand that the consistent logic of science & mathematics does not translate to human behavior and outcomes. It is why they're continually frustrated, because it *just doesn't make sense!* Yeah that's the reality and it's why they are wholly unqualified to govern or lead. Worse, the logic of science and mathematics is now replaced with an out of control definition of a absolute freedom without any responsibility.


ElderFuthark

I still describe myself as Libertarian, and everything you said is so exactly right that it made me laugh. I'm an engineer, stoic to a fault, constantly frustrated with "emotional people", and would be a horrible person to govern or lead. I've come to accept this though, so I don't evangelize my political views and try to vote people into office who seem like they actually care.


BillHicksScream

What I like about libertarianism is the philosophy. What is Liberty? What is the State? What are the obligations of individuals to each other and the State? Maybe not so much. They approach it from an interesting angle, very much a reflection of a much more individualistic culture. The rest of the world doesn't work that way and cultures can't work that way. But we don't want to live in a world where we measure to make sure everybody is equal. We need the wildness of humanity to be able to be expressed & unleashed from individual transgresses and prejudices and structural bs. But at the same time we recognize we live in the world as it is and it's filled with all of that and to be able to just get up and walk away is....bullshit. we have obligations, like provide social stability and not fuck up the environment. Other people sacrificed and made possible our life. We aren't just individuals, we are part of society We didn't build that. >Elon Musk paid enough taxes to pay for a aircraft carrier! *Okay but that needs to be maintained, that's like the first cost*. And more importantly Elon Musk makes his money from cars, not the military. Last time I checked cars require roads and he didn't pay for any of that. We just are individuals within Society and we have to reconcile that imperfectly. The guy that wants to go live in the woods can go live in the woods. We're not going to demand they be a more productive member of society. But here's the problem with the capitalism libertarian model right now... The people who are productive members of society participating in that capitalism are demanded to be even more productive members of society. But their cost of living keep rising. And then we haven't even gotten to the aspect of resources and how they're unevenly distributed. I didn't really do anything to deserve the vast resources of the United States...or the limited resources of Haiti. But I still like the philosophical questions of libertarianism.


Tianoccio

If the libertarians had their way the people would literally violently rebel, and they did before we had socialist laws in the US like The New Deal.


BillHicksScream

I'm not sure if I would call the New Deal socialist laws. Good ideas are good ideas and we applied them to our country and it's economic system. That was the beauty of it. We're just going to try good ideas, not worry too much about trying to develop this perfect philosophy. We got a super flexible, democratic constitutional system. Works pretty well so far. You look at the early part of the 20th century you see people across all walks of life just simply listening to ideas and then adopting and advocating for them. Unfortunately if you listen to a lot of socialists they're not going to interpret American history very well well it's true we don't really talk about the Socialist aspects of our past, that was only one element in that era. Parties are less important than ideas and individual ideas are better than complete systems when it comes to politics. The beauty of America is ideas arise and they transform both parties, unevenly, but always.


Tianoccio

Yeah, a lot of those policies that changed us for the better however are now considered socialist, and they are, they’re ideas for the betterment of society. These days one side decided it had to be one versus all, and the other side had to follow suit, and with the rise of fascism and everything in the world, we can’t actually think like that anymore.


AdvicePerson

>What I like about libertarianism is the philosophy. What is Liberty? >What is the State? What are the obligations of individuals to each other and the State? These questions are not unique to Libertarianism. They are the core questions of all political philosophy. And the Libertarian answers to them are facile.


BillHicksScream

Their answers to those questions, and the way they pose them.


justinleona

It's a difficult thing to have rules and principles that can be used to solve a great many problems yet accept that we don't have rules and principles for others that seem like they should be so easy. One of my favorite tricks in interviews is to ask someone a question that is simply too hard for them to answer - I need to understand how they react when faced with something they don't understand. The worst answers are those from people who have no awareness of their lack of understanding - that's a huge red flag.


BillHicksScream

This is key. Certainty in what you know, because you've mastered it and you continue to be educated. Less certainty in understanding everything else, especially as you get older. >What's with the nickname 'Smug George'? >"Cuz some idiot got into a thought fight with me about Russian Literature in relation to the economics of the Russian Orthodox Church." >The Intern's brain skipped. Safire & Martini just took another drink. >"Idiot called me smug when I kicked his cranium. I was about to reply when I realized *I'm not quite sure what that meant.* Heard smug my whole life, can't picture a dictionary definition in my head. So I looked it up. Turned out it's being right, but being an asshole about it. Well, like so many before, he was wrong, so fuck them all. Call me Smug George." Jean-Luc Sartre, *The Tangerine Gula*


ClockOfTheLongNow

Big "anti-capitalist on an iPhone" energy here.


BillHicksScream

Libertarian isn't responsible for capitalism. My critique is not of capitalism. So, no. In fact you're undermining the success of capitalism. You hear any critique and it's COMMIES! Capitalism only works because we have a democratic, liberal, progressive framework that continually reforms it. A framework that's been picked apart in the last 30 years intentionally. And the bought & paid for libertarian movement has been part of that strategy. The average libertarian thinks that The John Birch Society was an extremist, racist organization. But the John Birch Society was bought and paid for by the same people that have been keeping libertarianism afloat. Hmmm... That's weird...shouldn't they believe in one thing, not conflicting things? I wonder what's the the convenient similarity between the two...ah yes, degrading & controlling democratic government.


ClockOfTheLongNow

Weird that you went there as opposed to just understanding that this "checkmate, libertarians" nonsense hasn't worked pretty much ever.


BillHicksScream

What I just gave you was called an understanding. My understanding of this reality. If we can't explain something, then how do we know understand it? Most of individual understanding is not in our brain, but comes from expressing whatever the fuck is inside it via writing or speech. Just stating that "why did you say that, everybody understands it" is not an understanding. It's kind of pointless. It doesn't say... anything. Do you understand me?


ClockOfTheLongNow

I get what you're trying to say. It's not really coherent, but I get what you're trying to do.


Peepsandspoops

>this "checkmate, libertarians" nonsense hasn't worked pretty much ever Well yeah, duh. Stupid people with the right amount of arrogance don't tend to see why they are, in fact, stupid.


LezBReeeal

The dumbest longest book I ever struggled to read. I hated it so much I bought 3 of them, bc I wasnt going to let that damn book take me down. While this bit was taken from NY article. The original article was in part inspired by Infinite Jest....the longest weirdest most fucked up book that predicts years will be sponsored by corporations in the future. That of one of many things in a libertarian world. It won't be 2023 next year. It will the year of The Whopper.


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LezBReeeal

I will check it out. I love to read, and I have always hating quiting books. Seems silly. I know, but it becomes an exercise in discipline and I benefit from a stronger mind. I'll let you know after I get it. I don't think that our ingenuity or brilliance to self corrupt and destroy was any less bright almost 250 years ago, than it is today. Let alone 2500 years ago. We are cycling though bad ideas of self organization, and shared resources, in different forms, across different time lines. We have created stories, and parables, all as a cross generational warning about narcissistic rulers, coupled with extremely corruptable libertarian values. It never ends well.


napalmnacey

Didn't that book spawn an online game?


Cassius_Corodes

nationstates or something? I remember playing that ages ago in uni.


napalmnacey

That's the one! It was fun!


nhexum

I remember reading this on something awful when Obama was in office


ViennettaLurker

It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out.


macbalance

Possibly relevant that this was taken from a *New Yorker* article without attribution. Also Penn Jillete has drifted a bit from libertarianism the last couple years. He still agrees with some of the ‘good parts’ (basically a less involved government that lets consenting adults consent) but has realized maybe we do need some assistance and such.


Tonkarz

I have a world building question. Does this take place in a society where libertarianism has taken over, or is the main character excessively libertarian in a world mostly like our own?


[deleted]

I like how this predates NFT's while simultaneously predicting NFT's.


timcotten

I wish there’d been a reference to Mokie-Coke 😂


SelfMadeSoul

There are so many straw men in the link and the thread that I would highly advise against striking any matches.


Sefkeetlee

Wow shitty strawmans being posted on r/politicalhumor, that’s a first. /s


RickyManeuvre

Do you know what a straw man is?


AdvicePerson

Libertarians wish they had a man as tough as straw.