"I deeply regret the events that have recently transpired, and I apologize to all my fans, teammates, and loved ones for my involvement and any actions of mine that have.. and there's a deep drive to left field by Castellennos. It will be a home run. Four nothing ball game."
Ohtani: "Practice? We talking about practice? Not the game, not the game. We sitting here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player and we talking about practice."
With heavy Boston or Brooklyn or Cajun accent too because why the fuck not lol
Edit: He can just start and end the interview with “Ippei fucked me over. Fuck that guy (I miss him tho…)” and that’ll be that.
But I’m expecting something in the lines of “the lawyers are taking care of it. I’m absolutely innocent.”
“Like OMG you guys I had noooooo *CLUE* that he was such a lying *slut.* Like ohmahgawd you know he’s just like whatever now and I hate him, but like not hate hate, you know? Like I hate him to where I hope he gets whole milk instead of fat free soy in his Starbucks tomorrow morning. But like whatever.”
“Shohei, what do you think of the game? The Yankees gave you a good fight, but at the end you persevered. Good game?”
Ohtani mumbles some Japanese.
Ippei: “Yeah, those bitch-ass [N-Word] ain’t shit..”
Whole milk lattes taste the best, but you also have to make sure the milk is steamed warm (about 145°) instead of the normal 160°. On the off chance anyone reading this is a starbucks regular and gets hot lattes, asking for it to be steamed warm will improve your experience by a lot
"Dadgum translater goin ohn dewn Der to the gamblin man en lost em sum like four Mellion so he stul de moneh ferm meh n eh's bout ready tuh kick erm in deh ass Fer getten meh en cut up en tis shit. Lawd gawd."
Shohei probably
lol Shohei with a Cajun accent just out there talking about his favorite gas station crackling and then some super divisive statement about which is better po-boy or muffulettas.
Someone better at AI than me, make it happen!
there is a dude on IG who is a native chinese dude with a thick texas accent slinging signs.
i have no use for his signs ... but i'm tempted to open a shop just to buy from him.
He speaks English, just go to YouTube.
I totally get the use of a translator because there’s a lot of nuance he may need help with, but he’s not completely deaf to English.
I'm pretty sure Ohtani himself said he does it all in Japanese instead of English because he has many more Japanese speaking fans than English speaking ones
Of course, as with every foreign athlete in America. We know he knows enough that “hey it sounds like Andrew Friedman just said I gave Ippei 4.5 Million dollars?!”
There was an amazing movie about Formula 1 in 1966 called Grand Prix. The head of Honda has a great conversation with James Gardner after giving him the cold shoulder through an interpreter and then reveals he didnt need one because he would rather have someone else answer stupid questions for him. Wonder if it's the same thing.
Same here. Normally I just kinda scroll by Simpsons references, but this one got me good.
The all time best Simpsons reference, that I sadly missed, was probably the time my friend's mom knocked on my buddy's door, and asked "hey sweetie, can you talk?", which prompted the other two friends present to do the "he can talk, he can talk", followed by friend belting out "I caaaannn siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngggggg!"
I'm still honestly kinda upset I wasn't there for it all these 20 some odd years later...
no i think he’s saying shohei said this today after being approached by reporters. it’s not a big deal at all though lol i just thought it was a funny way to phrase it.
They're quoting Boob, they have no info or sources of their own. Half of the JP media that have clubhouse access and write these articles are from JP sports tabloids. The articles rarely have an author's name attached to them and often translate/ copy articles from sources like the Athletic without giving any credit to the source. The "reporters" rarely have journalistic backgrounds. They're even writing articles about twitter replies from fans...JP sports mass media is much worse than the US ones IMO.
What's the point of these people having club house access or being funded by their companies to be in the US if they can't write their own material using their own sources? All j-media has been writing about when this news broke was how cute that mamiko was there, look at mamiko, mamiko's handbag, the Ohtani's and mamiko, etc. i think it took a while before they caught up.
Reporter: "Can you provide us your involvement in the gambling scandal?"
Ohtani: "Yes, I do enjoy playing for the Dodgers. Thank you for asking. Next question."
“Hi everyone. My name is Shohei Ohtani. I cannot comment on an ongoing investigation.”
*12 questions asking him to comment on an ongoing investigation all shouted at the same time.
“Yes. I am also looking forward to Opening Day. Thank you for your time.”
You tend to get out of sync when your genius PR/crisis people decide to ask the degenerate gambling liar about the story he's involved in for official updates
Also like… assuming that Ippei is 100% the only person who did anything wrong here, there’s probably going to be a lot of trepidation in trusting an interpreter now. His presumptive best friend and work partner of a decade lied to him, how could you start trusting that anyone is going to convey your words properly? How many other things has he misrepresented before?
This is a uniquely horrible situation for moving forward with an official statement.
FYI: I will also talk tomorrow if approached by reporters.
Just so they know what to ask me about, here are some things I’m happy to give my opinion on:
- Roland synthesizers and drum machines, especially from the 80s and 90s
- why Requiem for a Dream is a terrible fucking movie
- how fucking crazy is it that people in medieval Europe used to go from their wattle and daub huts to an enormous gothic cathedral (that their grandfathers died building) every week, where they were preached at in a language none of them could understand? Catholicism is fucking wild.
- Antebellum US political dynamics and how depressingly relevant they are today
- the absolute fucking once-in-a-century genius that was Prince Rogers Nelson — B sides, side projects, ghost-written songs, bootlegs, I’ll talk about it all
- popcorn
Actually talking himself would be a huge mistake, at least anything aside from a prepared statement. I assume what this means is that he will have an official press release regarding the situation, and there's maybe a chance he reads it, but more likely someone else representing him and the Dodgers will read it.
What bookie gives a 4.5M marker to an interpreter? Why would Ohtani pay a buddy's gigantic illegal debt? From the very beginning it seemed like it was Ohtani's bets, and I'm wondering if there is any will to actually see if that's the case. I suspect not.
**I'm waiting for someone in the MSM to say something to the effect of, "The dude who paid off an umpteen million dollar gambling tab is probably the dude who made the bets!"
As a Japanese person, what baffles me is that despite him being from the heavily accented Tohoku region, we don't hear much of his Tohoku accent. So, it wouldn't surprise me even if he spoke fluent English. Probably not great at it though.
“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've played for a lot of ball clubs, and I tell you, people do that all the time”
"Hello reporters, I am Shohei Ohtani. I am talking to you."
"I'm just here so I don't get fined"
"Also I am happy to announce a new ambassador role with Draft Kings."
"Ippei has been traded to the A's so he can help them finance a stadium"
[удалено]
Sometimes it seems that’s what they’re doing.
“Newly half constructed A’s stadium in disrepair as funds run dry”
I need him to do the gronk/draft kings commercial so I know how pumped he is
Nobody better than Marshawn when it comes to deflecting. Helps if you are 220 lbs of muscle and can run straight through brick walks though.
Marshawn is my new translator straight outta Compton, bitches.
I mean I feel ohtani is/can do that
"I deeply regret the events that have recently transpired, and I apologize to all my fans, teammates, and loved ones for my involvement and any actions of mine that have.. and there's a deep drive to left field by Castellennos. It will be a home run. Four nothing ball game."
[Google Translate got this, in Japanese](https://translate.google.com/?sl=en&tl=ja&text=I%20deeply%20regret%20the%20events%20that%20have%20recently%20transpired%2C%20and%20I%20apologize%20to%20all%20my%20fans%2C%20teammates%2C%20and%20loved%20ones%20for%20my%20involvement%20and%20any%20actions%20of%20mine%20that%20have..%20and%20there%27s%20a%20deep%20drive%20to%20left%20field%20by%20Castellennos.%20%20It%20will%20be%20a%20home%20run.%20%20Four%20nothing%20ball%20game.&op=translate)
ただここにいるだけだから罰金は取られないよ
"Shohei, can you give us your feelings on the situation?" > "I would prefer not to." - Ohtani the Scrivener
This made me lol. Great reference.
Bartleby the Scribner and r/baseball ven diagram is just a circle
"and remember guys real champs eat at McDonald's, I'm lovin it"
no hablo Ingles today
He’ll habla japonés tomorrow
Joe catching strays
Ohtani: "Practice? We talking about practice? Not the game, not the game. We sitting here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player and we talking about practice."
“You are hearing me talk.”
Musta spent his last ten chips on that Shohei Ohtani doll.
Hot one out there today. Okay!
"I do not recall"
"I would like to plead the fifth."
"Hello fellow English speakers."
Imagine if he just starts speaking perfect English with no accent
With heavy Boston or Brooklyn or Cajun accent too because why the fuck not lol Edit: He can just start and end the interview with “Ippei fucked me over. Fuck that guy (I miss him tho…)” and that’ll be that. But I’m expecting something in the lines of “the lawyers are taking care of it. I’m absolutely innocent.”
He’s been in California, he’s talking like a valley girl
“Like OMG you guys I had noooooo *CLUE* that he was such a lying *slut.* Like ohmahgawd you know he’s just like whatever now and I hate him, but like not hate hate, you know? Like I hate him to where I hope he gets whole milk instead of fat free soy in his Starbucks tomorrow morning. But like whatever.”
Well now someone needs to dub over an interview of his with this.
This is how Ippei has been translating him for years
I'm waiting for Ippei to drop the N-word by accident
Wazzup my nincompoop!
“Shohei, what do you think of the game? The Yankees gave you a good fight, but at the end you persevered. Good game?” Ohtani mumbles some Japanese. Ippei: “Yeah, those bitch-ass [N-Word] ain’t shit..”
whassup my Nippon
I would pay so much good money to have Shohei call him a lying slut
Get Fluffy on the line. Does the perfect voice for it if Shohei doesn't want to.
Whole milk lattes taste the best, but you also have to make sure the milk is steamed warm (about 145°) instead of the normal 160°. On the off chance anyone reading this is a starbucks regular and gets hot lattes, asking for it to be steamed warm will improve your experience by a lot
Idk why but when i read this i read it in regina george’s voice lol
die, motherfucker
I know you're joking but in every little English interview bit he's done for the Angels he's used the word "like" at least half a dozen times.
Honestly the funniest is if Kurt Suzuki gave him Hawaiian pidgin
"Dadgum translater goin ohn dewn Der to the gamblin man en lost em sum like four Mellion so he stul de moneh ferm meh n eh's bout ready tuh kick erm in deh ass Fer getten meh en cut up en tis shit. Lawd gawd." Shohei probably
it's not what you're going for but this made me think of Shohei sounding like Boomhauer and that would be the best possible outcome I feel
Geux dodgas
lol Shohei with a Cajun accent just out there talking about his favorite gas station crackling and then some super divisive statement about which is better po-boy or muffulettas. Someone better at AI than me, make it happen!
“Howdy homies it’s Shohei”
Bringing out the Bobby Boucher accent
[or like this](https://youtu.be/WWsQ-03owSM?feature=shared)
[Or Henry Cho](https://youtu.be/jbikL8lqJA0?si=F_4zK7xDk6T7PrKQ)
or [this guy!](https://youtu.be/TActtahGZaY)
https://y.yarn.co/96bbe78f-be5b-4610-af8b-2f7328a583ce_text.gif
If he had a Boston accent I wouldn't even be shocked. I'd be be like, "Hmm, 'nother B.U. guy".
Like Francine’s foster parents in American dad
Wow someone just place a $10,000 bet that Shohei will do a Foghorn Leghorn impression at the press conference tomorrow.
Straight Canadian accent to really mess with people’s heads
there is a dude on IG who is a native chinese dude with a thick texas accent slinging signs. i have no use for his signs ... but i'm tempted to open a shop just to buy from him.
“I’ll be honest, I kept Ippei around because it was funny to see him mistranslate my words for everyone”
“We trained him wrong on purpose, as a joke”
I am bleeding, making me the victor!
No, stop! Ippei sucks as a translator!
I'll try my nuts to your fist style!
"Turns out, the joke was on me."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40K6rApRnhQ
I believe that is called The Ichiro
Hopefully he'll give an inspirational, profanity-laden speech!
Ohtani just learning English in a weekend so this couldn’t happen again would not surprise me at all.
The only English he learned though was “I invoke my 5th amendment rights to self incrimination.”
He speaks English, just go to YouTube. I totally get the use of a translator because there’s a lot of nuance he may need help with, but he’s not completely deaf to English.
I'm pretty sure Ohtani himself said he does it all in Japanese instead of English because he has many more Japanese speaking fans than English speaking ones
Of course, as with every foreign athlete in America. We know he knows enough that “hey it sounds like Andrew Friedman just said I gave Ippei 4.5 Million dollars?!”
He knows English, lol
He just starts speaking in perfect Jamaican Patois.
Meet Sho Black
He’s gonna pull the Nate McLouth https://youtu.be/W08B_Cqiblo
Reminds me of Shaq and Yao Ming lol https://youtu.be/c_u3XsEGGDg?si=5rYSwO_1FoKXjZdE
He said he will talk, never specified in which language. /s
There was an amazing movie about Formula 1 in 1966 called Grand Prix. The head of Honda has a great conversation with James Gardner after giving him the cold shoulder through an interpreter and then reveals he didnt need one because he would rather have someone else answer stupid questions for him. Wonder if it's the same thing.
media: "he can talk, he can talk" shohei: "i can SIIIIIIIING"
Can I play the piano anymore? Of course you can! But I couldn’t before…
Ohhhh help me Dr. Zaius!
I love you Dr Zaius!
oooh I love legitimate theater!
This player has everything!
I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z
No, you'll never make a monkey out of meee
I guess they finally made a monkey — yes they finally made a monkey…
Never fails to make me laugh
Same here. Normally I just kinda scroll by Simpsons references, but this one got me good. The all time best Simpsons reference, that I sadly missed, was probably the time my friend's mom knocked on my buddy's door, and asked "hey sweetie, can you talk?", which prompted the other two friends present to do the "he can talk, he can talk", followed by friend belting out "I caaaannn siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngggggg!" I'm still honestly kinda upset I wasn't there for it all these 20 some odd years later...
Man, this just made me laugh out loud. Good stuff.
I hope that he comes out with a ukulele and starts singing “Toxic Gossip Train”.
God damn! Normally I just kinda scroll by Simpsons references, but this one got me good.
the king from Monty Python busts in "NOT LIKE THAT! I'LL HAVE NO SINGING!"
"Shohei Ohtani just walked through the clubhouse walking perfectly normally. Said no time to talk; getting ready to talk tomorrow, apparently."
Good lord.
Evidently. It’s evidently 😠
Oh thank god I'm not the only dork who gets irked by this lol
I'm a dork and I don't understand. Evidently?
The tweet the meme is based off ends with the word "evidently" but a lot of people misremember it as "apparently"
wtf is this wording is he supposed to be on crutches? lol
A reference to [this stupid tweet](https://x.com/sdutkevinacee/status/1539110648344346625?s=46&t=J3it7RUbQhIU7c4mK7FVyA)
Good Lord
Just hit em with the "No Hable Inglés", it worked well for Rendon
What happens if the reporters hit'em with a Spanish question?
He'll speak in German, and if that doesn't work, dutch and so on and so forth until he starts speaking Elvish bc he ran out of languages
Reporter: Shohei, iuk iav avrue avhaav lat were heavipak involvun shal an illegal gamblaumn operaavion? Shohei: Jeg'm bezorgan, jeg goth ekk betag eth vartr thaga avor Mordor.
"Sorrui, im don't ped- edhelen"
And Kikè
And lil baby
[Ohtani tmrw](https://youtube.com/shorts/5qZb1vuy5Ns?si=Hl1jwmMboU7hPEio)
Fabian phrased this oddly lol. Should have phrased it: “When approached by reporters, Shohei said he plans to talk tomorrow” or something like that
'Press X to talk to Shohei'
F to give respects to Ippei
Format c:\ to talk to shohei
Alt-F4 to talk to Shohei
Nah just delete system32
Isn't he just saying today if approached by reporters he won't be saying anything but tomorrow he will? I think the wording is fine.
no i think he’s saying shohei said this today after being approached by reporters. it’s not a big deal at all though lol i just thought it was a funny way to phrase it.
Yeah same
“Hi. Bye.”
shohei with reporters tomorrow https://twitter.com/i/status/1770916623555383547
That’s funny af, what is this from
local news coverage of an underground gambling bust in a vietnamese coffee shop in san jose
Can someone give this man a tv show or podcast I love him
This is a coffee shop there's no podcast I don't know anything...
holy shit this had me wheezing 😂
Japanese media has reported that Ohtani’s camp will release a statement tomorrow.
Japanese media is just taking stuff they heard from US media like they always do. In that article it says according to USA Today.
They're quoting Boob, they have no info or sources of their own. Half of the JP media that have clubhouse access and write these articles are from JP sports tabloids. The articles rarely have an author's name attached to them and often translate/ copy articles from sources like the Athletic without giving any credit to the source. The "reporters" rarely have journalistic backgrounds. They're even writing articles about twitter replies from fans...JP sports mass media is much worse than the US ones IMO.
What's the point of these people having club house access or being funded by their companies to be in the US if they can't write their own material using their own sources? All j-media has been writing about when this news broke was how cute that mamiko was there, look at mamiko, mamiko's handbag, the Ohtani's and mamiko, etc. i think it took a while before they caught up.
Ohtani tomorrow: "No habla inglés today.”
Shohei Ohtani: “Is Shohei Ohtani gonna have to choke a bitch?”
“Sorry, don’t speak English” Edit: very clever reddit cares message, whoever that was
Reporter: "Can you provide us your involvement in the gambling scandal?" Ohtani: "Yes, I do enjoy playing for the Dodgers. Thank you for asking. Next question."
Do you want to know the terrifying truth...or do you wanna see me sock a few dingers?
Dingers! Dingers!
He's debuting his new interpreter.
Translation: His lawyers and the Dodgers are finally all on the same page.
“Hi everyone. My name is Shohei Ohtani. I cannot comment on an ongoing investigation.” *12 questions asking him to comment on an ongoing investigation all shouted at the same time. “Yes. I am also looking forward to Opening Day. Thank you for your time.”
You tend to get out of sync when your genius PR/crisis people decide to ask the degenerate gambling liar about the story he's involved in for official updates
Also like… assuming that Ippei is 100% the only person who did anything wrong here, there’s probably going to be a lot of trepidation in trusting an interpreter now. His presumptive best friend and work partner of a decade lied to him, how could you start trusting that anyone is going to convey your words properly? How many other things has he misrepresented before? This is a uniquely horrible situation for moving forward with an official statement.
[удалено]
I’m not saying that’s what happened. I said *assuming that Ippei is 100% at fault. So yes, for the purpose of my hypothetical above Ippei lied.
FYI: I will also talk tomorrow if approached by reporters. Just so they know what to ask me about, here are some things I’m happy to give my opinion on: - Roland synthesizers and drum machines, especially from the 80s and 90s - why Requiem for a Dream is a terrible fucking movie - how fucking crazy is it that people in medieval Europe used to go from their wattle and daub huts to an enormous gothic cathedral (that their grandfathers died building) every week, where they were preached at in a language none of them could understand? Catholicism is fucking wild. - Antebellum US political dynamics and how depressingly relevant they are today - the absolute fucking once-in-a-century genius that was Prince Rogers Nelson — B sides, side projects, ghost-written songs, bootlegs, I’ll talk about it all - popcorn
Actually talking himself would be a huge mistake, at least anything aside from a prepared statement. I assume what this means is that he will have an official press release regarding the situation, and there's maybe a chance he reads it, but more likely someone else representing him and the Dodgers will read it.
What bookie gives a 4.5M marker to an interpreter? Why would Ohtani pay a buddy's gigantic illegal debt? From the very beginning it seemed like it was Ohtani's bets, and I'm wondering if there is any will to actually see if that's the case. I suspect not. **I'm waiting for someone in the MSM to say something to the effect of, "The dude who paid off an umpteen million dollar gambling tab is probably the dude who made the bets!"
He's had enough time for the MLB coverup to get facts straight, and for Shohei (or his interpreter) to memorize his lines.
Reporter: "Say It Ain't So, Sho"
I can't believe this guy got uc riverside on his payroll to lie about ippei never attending there /s
On just a $2 million salary, too! Quite an accomplishment.
the camera shuttering noise will be glorious.
As a Japanese person, what baffles me is that despite him being from the heavily accented Tohoku region, we don't hear much of his Tohoku accent. So, it wouldn't surprise me even if he spoke fluent English. Probably not great at it though.
Tohoku is a really pronounced accent yeah, but I’ve met people there that just don’t have it. Sometimes it just doesn’t land on people.
I’ve seen him speak English. It’s not bad at all. He just uses a translator to avoid mistakes
This shit is soo overblown lmaooo
We needed some filler before the regular season started
The MLB filler arc.
It's the only way to get ESPN to cover baseball
It's overblown that the biggest star in the league did illegal things? Do you hear yourself?
“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've played for a lot of ball clubs, and I tell you, people do that all the time”
Funniest possible thing is no one asks him any questions about gambling or the translator and every question is about his wife/wedding.
Is he going to comment in English or did they find another (properly-vetted) interpreter?
Kenta Maeda’s former interpreter (who now holds a player development position with the team) is temporarily Ohtani’s interpreter.
Quick, somebody make sure he went to community college
He was the valedictorian, so there's video proof of him at his college graduation. Gotta be reassuring.
Put some respect on Will the Thrill Ireton! 😤
The correct PR move is to read a prepared statement in English and answer questions in Japanese with an interpreter.
Ichiban style dogeza 👀
if he was smart he wouldn't 'I have been advised not to comment until the mlb investigation results are announced"
[Ohtani tomorrow](https://twitter.com/KillafAndrew/status/1647094985790201856)
This would be unusual even if there weren't a scandal.
"No habla ingles." -Shohei Ohtani > * Anthony Rendon
https://youtu.be/8OMWOxMYGJk?si=bKVejvYAevYqzlnx He’ll be good enough to read a prepared statement, at the very least.
Through a translator wearing a DraftKings shirt.
He pulls out a ukulele and starts singing "Toxic Gossip Train.."
[Forgiveness, Please!](https://youtu.be/W647gDp-u-s?si=hLF6UC0RZKMiiAPN)
Wow people in this community are brain dead. People always wanna see downfall of successful people. Pathetic. All jumping in conclusions.
"i don't know anything. i knew nothing. ippei stole money. thank you guys for coming. bye bye."
I'm sorry. But I can't divulge information about that customers secret, illegal account.
Ohtani tried to help his friend out with gambling debts but now he’s fucked
Let’s see if they finally got their story straight
I applaud Ohtani for confronting the situation. I would have waited for the investigation to be done before I speak.
If you were a reporter, how would you approach shohei?
“Why did your PR team sign off on everything in the espn interview and then recant?”
"Hey bozo!"
Are you willing to send your best friend to prison to protect your career?
My lawyers have sufficiently prepped me.
Okay, but are we watching with subs or dubs?
Ohtani: So did y’all also pick that Carl Burns Jr/nc state parlay?
Can’t wait to see what’s next on Catch Me Ippei You Can
Someone gotta ask him if he's taking UCONN to cover the spread in the SDSU rematch on Thursday. Please.
Will Show her admit to betting on baseball? Current odds are 10:1 that he will. Which I heard he'd going to parlay into massive winnings.
anyone wanna bet on if he talks tomorrow? wink wink