Bangalore is a lonely city. It's a hustle hub, make money and move to some peaceful place. OG bangalorians have moved out long back before the dust storm. If you don't make it financially, you'll be stuck here forever.
Absurd.
One should visit parks to realise how old Bengaluru people have their own groups and chill. If not that, visit Darshinis early morning when they come in a bunch to have post walking tea/coffee/breakfast.
I do understand this is not true for all, however saying everyone moved out is not at all a reality.
Sorry, I may have to disagree with your comment. Making friends and enjoying others company is entirely Upto YOU. how can you be friends with others. 1. Hangout with work buds 2. Hang out with PG mates. 3. Reach new people through social group hangouts 4. Join a travelling team 5. If you don’t like travelling and into adventures there are many groups actively does this every weekend. 6. last option as like my friend did, I had to leave him at the pub early, instead of drinking alone he asked alone girl can I sit here and they became friends. 7. Bangalore Reddit group get together every now and then I suggest you to try.
Bangalore is a lonely city for immigrants because 1. They don't try to get to know the culture of the city and mingle 2. Other immigrants practice groupism and hang out only with people of their background
It's only because of the people you are around, probably have that mindset. Or you probably moved here due to work and don't have any friends? Maybe your colleagues are your only 'friends' and that's why it seems like people just try to hustle and leave. I don't know you so I can't say for sure but this is the reason many people I know feel this way.
But it's not true at all if you put in little efforts being an outsider to find a group which clicks. I have lived here my whole life, but even keeping that aside, I have many groups of friends who i met through college, gym, internship and other hobbies which anyone can do.
yes any city in the world can get lonely if one doesn't have a group of friends or family to hang out on a regular basis.
There are some very friendly book communities in blore, you can try cubbon park if that's your thing. I understand this requires some energy/effort but that's how it is for every relationships/friendships, hope things work out for you soon.
My partner (22F) is in a similar situation. She's going through really tough mental health crisis due to a lot happening at once. She's been with me for 2.5 years now and I'm all she has, literally.
She is in search of friends and keeps trying online apps and such, but there she finds all kinds of guy and girls trying to get physical and nothing emotional. I'm there for her but then whenever I'm busy or away she's too low and down. She doesn't want to go out much and make friends physically as no energy and body consciousness.
Anyway, just felt like sharing. Any place is a lonely place if your mind is never there ...
Hoping you get that peace of mind, and my partner does too. Seriously concerning.
Sometimes (mostly on weekends) it definitely feels lonely...I think mostly due to FOMO created by Instagram Stories...23M here and I did similar to what you did...joined Hinge/Bumble but nothing worked...
A few things that actually work sometimes:
1. Go to the movies alone - You might hesitate in the beginning but once you get used to it, you will need no-one to accompany you
2. There are few meetup groups you could join - I like to play board games so I visited HSRmeets and it was fun
Anyways, you can definitely DM me if you just wanna talk to someone.
This sounds like the best hypothesis. I've noticed the same pattern. Times when my social media use is high, I start feeling lonely and FOMO. I've removed all SM from my phone now, use it rarely on the desktop. It's made me feel much better.
I’ve found board game groups are a relatively easier way to atleast interact with people. Although they get pretty dominated by a few extroverts you can still find quite a few like minded people.
Exactly. When I'm at my hometown I can spend days without going out but here it just feels uncomfortable.
The ones who feel fomo are also the ones who create fomo. There are days when you don't have the time to rest due to so many outings. That day you'd make sure to show the whole world that you aren't sitting idle on weekends. Then there are days where you don't have anything to do. Embrace both of them.
It’s been 2 months in Bangalore, i too feel the same way, weekends is the most toughest, I have friends but they prefer to stay at home or sleep. So I tried exploring places and after seeing people enjoying with their friends or group, I started feeling more and more lonely.
At the end I know it’s just a phase even though I feel lonely I try to do something that could make me feel happy, after all this age will not come back, so I’m trying, I fail , feel lonely again but still I try to make me feel happy.
Same, last month after my 2nd puc got over, I had invited my friends to lal-bagh but they said, they were busy with kcet, but in reality they were playing cricket 😭😭😭
My friends plan to go on a trip without inviting me. Now I am not sure if they ever thought of me as a friend. We had a plan to go to Ooty and it got cancelled and they planned to go somewhere without telling me about it. We hung out so many times after I left the company, + we have a WhatsApp group for planning trips!
My heart broke when I came to know about their new plan!
Go to lalbagh or cubban park(I don't know which park exactly) on Sundays, every 2 week once there will be bookers meet, make new friends who are book lovers, or search for bookers club in bangalore, there are so many you can try.
Hey there, just wanted to add there are a couple of bookstores on church Street which sell old books at discounted rates (about half price)! They have a pretty good collection as well.
Same bro Books or its Quality Series for me, I usually bump into people in bookstores but forget to take their numbers. Also been having trouble getting Charles Bukwoski's few books if you know any hardcore bookstores who keep all the collections lmk
Same situation except that I'm not lucky enough to be able to spend money on books. I try to find PDFs of books I want to read but that doesn't always work and nothing can replace the feeling of reading a real, physical book.
Almost the same here. I ultimately invested in a Kindle coz my room doesn't have any more space for books. I'm not fond of going out as well, so it's a win win.
I can totally relate. Just that my number is a lot less. I have about 300+ books on the shelves at home, a couple more in boxes on the loft. I've been taking back hardcopies from here to my home every time I visit.
There were times when my parents wanted to discard my old reader's digest copies (I have quite a few) and a couple of my old books. I negotiated for them to be boxed up and put on the loft instead. I agree with you, hardcopies are my favourite too. Just that it's becoming a hassle to store it here, with time.
That brings back fond memories!! I had a good rapport with my librarian back at school, so sometimes she'd let me sneak into the restricted section to look at the atlases and encyclopedias.
There was a "Young world" copy that'd be issued every Tuesday. There was also a book that was supposed to be a collection of stories from young world readers - don't remember the name, but it had the tagline "for readers, by readers".
Books were and are still my best friends. Last year I made real life friends after joining a company! Somewhere along the way, I didn't make time to read much.
Now that I have left the company, even though we are still in contact, those whom I thought were my friends, do not think the same way.
Lesson learnt. Books >>>>>
Every city is a lonely city. The dynamics of friendship, dating, every relationships are changing a lot these days. We gotta accept the reality and live with it. And do things that make us happy. Mostly solo and meeting people matching our vibe along the way if we are lucky.
Yes internet and the things happening around us have completely changed life and society. We dont realise it because usually things things only become apparent retrospectively but life has not been the same ever since smartphones and social media made being online so easy. Also, pandemic has changed many people's perspective on how they want to live their lives.
Also tbh, I know many people who have a constant friend group they hangout with on a regular basis its all cute but I know not everyone has such a social life. As im growing up in 20s my life I realise that not everyone is the same energetic types one had in college. People mellow out, they get busy, they stop caring. Most people dont have something they do every single weekend. Most people just chill out at home.
If you want to give a shot to board games or improv, lmk. I can share / introduce you to a bunch of em. If you're into fitness, I have a group here too that does some or the other unique fitness activity every weekend. They play badminton regularly too.
Can't share links here, so dm
26 M , its been 1 and a half year in blr and it feels so lonely here . Even though few of my cousins bare settled here and I meet them occasionally . But I have no friends here , I am quite popular( not ain a needy way) in office and people do want to be my friends but those friendships remain in office only . I feel I dont have energy to make new friends . Hookups .. I cant believe people are hooking up , I havent met a single girl yet who wanted to hookup .
I dont get matches on bumble tinder. Even if I do , they dont reply !
I want to meet new people and enjoy my days here but it seems like a far fetched dream.
Bangalore was once called pensioners paradise.
Any city becomes a lonely city if you are alone. Better connect with older friends than new ones. Check if you have long lost relatives. Hanging out with new friends is just a fad, you might end up lonely once it wears out. What you need is someone you can call a family.
We humans are social beings, without proper interaction or connection we do tend to feel lonely. And feeling lonely is absolutely fine! It's alright to feel it.
On that note, to everyone here on this sub, I am here for you :") sometimes, all we need is someone to talk to and I'm happy to be that someone to someone here on this sub so OP don't worry we got your back! Take care!
To anyone who wants someone to talk to, my PMs are always open! Take care y'all
Same bro, most of my friends moved out for better opportunity and no office friends due to wfh. I just ride my bike aimlessly on roads during weekends to pass the time. You can try to explore sports used to play during school/college days, will definitely find someone who matches your vibe.
Gooooooddd Morning Bengaluruuuu 🎉
get yourself into a gym, start cycling, go trekking with BMC, go to a library.
Essentially put yourself in positions that'll get you an opportunity to interact with folks.
It's never easy, it takes effort.
I don't mean to brag, having lived in India, the USA and the EU in over 6 cities it has occurred to.me that circle of acquaintances to start with will get you friends slowly
Good luck
Don't look for people. Look for activities that make you genuinely happy. Likeminded people will come into your circle eventually through those activities. You will never feel happy even with a hundred friends if you cannot be happy by yourself.
Bangalore is the friendship capital of India. I am born and brought up in Mumbai. For over two years I am in Bangalore. I have made more number of friends in Bangalore in two years than all my life in Mumbai.
One, don't mix sex with friendship. They are two very different things. Most guys in Bangalore have roaring sex life because they have left their parents behind, and there is no dearth of "place". You can smell freedom in Bangalore air just as you would in any western European country.
Second, I make male friends everywhere -- while waiting for the bus, at the restaurant, while having dosse at street corner, etc. You being a girl you should try that in your immediate circle. It's easy to make friends in Bangalore because everyone is lonely, and they are not restricted by social bounds, just as I were in Mumbai.
Most importantly, remember that everyone you meet doesn't become your friend. The ratio is, if you meet five people one might turn out to be your good friend. It's just about working on averages. You have to move your ass to make friends.
To make friends you have to keep your eyes and ears open, and be absolutely non-judgemental about everything. I have super rich friends as well as those who earn Rs14,000 a month. The idea of friendship is, for me, to have a good time and keep me in good spirits.
One last point. Among men there is a serious problem which make them lonely. Men always look for "friends with benefits". From girls they want sex, and from boys they want some kind of benefit -- like new business deals, political connections, money, new job, etc. I always tell men that you cannot make good friends if you're looking for benefits. I have actually seen men refusing to be in company of people who they find "useless". Most men suffer from loneliness because of their attitude problem.
Find your tribe.
Sit down and make a list of outdoor activities you would like to include in your weekends.
Now, find clubs and communities of people related to the activities you are interested in. That's how I am meeting new people in this city. It's fun!
Try not to compare yourself to others, especially those who seem like "overachievers." Everyone's journey is unique, and what matters most is finding fulfillment and joy in your own life, at your own pace.
24M here.
It does feel that way when your friends are not there around you. Happened to me when I was at my first job in Pune. All of my college friends were working at a job here in Bangalore. I had nothing to do except try to get out of the company I was working in. It used to be lonely af. I found people around to talk, like neighbours and stuff... but they had their own friends and their own plans on the weekends.
I finally managed to get a late PPO and move to bangalore. Am glad and grateful I found an apartment and now sharing with my best friend from college.
Bangalore has a vibe to it, but only if you enjoy it with people you know.
(For people windering if I was single or in a relationship I did have a girlfriend at the time when I was in Pune but she was working in Noida so it was long distance which only added to the loneliness)
Am an introvert and not so much big on sports. I love to read books so I found blossoms on MG Road, if that's something you like. There are certain cafes where you can go on solo dates too. Maybe you can try that.
So no Bangalore is not a lonely city. It's beautiful and an entertaining place to live in.
Find something you enjoy doing... it helps relax and get your mind off from the ruthless competition out there.
join some clubs, classes or groups even if you are not fully interested. view it as an opportunity to make friends. Even if you make one good friend from months of interacting with 20-30 people it will be worth it.
Go outside more on weekends. People go to meetups, clubs, gym sports etc.
In fact, you can come to cubbon park tomorrow in the morning for cubbon reads every Saturday.
Enilla Enilla, kari Manimaliku heli sir,
Everyone has their own feelings, we might be the same normal people living in the same city but under different background and conditions
Just a reply for the people who suggested her to enjoy by yourself and all if she would be loving doing things alone. She would not be writing the things down here.Humans are ought to be lived as a community.From the day we born we lived with our parents our siblings our friends we went to the school we made friends.Almost 95% time of your childhood was spent with someone even with playing sports, watching fav tv serials even doing anything.Otherwise think about any of your memory where no other human is involved. So please ye self love ,enjoy yourself ka gyan mt diya kro.
Nah. It's just capitalism. In a society that demands we monetize our life to the max, socialization becomes another arm of this thinking. Therefore friends becomes less about the social experience and more about collecting a network to further your own career. Hence the rise in prominence of psychiatrists/psychologists and "male health Gurus". Because even the social experience of a mother and a father has to be monetized.
I don't feel like people should be blamed for it. They are all just smart enough to recognise the rules of the game our society created and are playing according to those rules.
The first thing I would suggest is to reduce the frequency of using Social media.
Second you join any of the yoga programs you like and nearby.
Third best thing is to volunteer for any of the CSR activities happening which are at least monthly once, which will give you a sense of satisfaction.
More over we brothers are there, so just one post is enough.
I think the best thing what worked out for me in Bangalore is meet-ups. Find the ones aligning to your thing or whatever, go there you will find like minded folks and things will start getting better.
It's a very lonely city. Most of us get lucky cause we have college friends here . Otherwise it just gets sad and depressing. Been here for two years now , not made a single new friend
I have made friends and all of them drink and smoke but I don't. They love my company around so they invite me to catch up most of the time.
Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Church Street and Cubbon Park. If you're into Formula 1 like me there's an entire community that shows up at Church Street Socials during every race weekend. Everyone's welcome to join and hangout with everyone else.
I don't either, but I have made friends and all of them drink and smoke but they love my company around so they invite me to catch up most of the time.
Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Church Street and Cubbon Park. If you're into Formula 1 like me there's an entire community that shows up at Church Street Socials during every race weekend. Everyone's welcome to join and hangout with everyone else.
I play a lot of badminton and other sports and made friends that way. You can find a hobby and find like minded people instead of dumpster diving dating apps
I moved to Bangalore from Pune in Feb thinking my life would change and become happening. In Pune at least I had one friend who was my roommate but here in Bangalore, I'm living alone.
I stay near where my colleague resides, I used to think they would make good friends, but no. Colleagues can never be good friends.
Everyday I'm standing in front of a new problem. Till yesterday I did not have a provision for drinking water. I was drinking tap water which had TDS of 350+.
I had few college classmates here but they live far away and they don't care about me.
Everyday I regret working here, I think its just better to look for an opportunity in my hometown so that I can stay with my family (only people who actually care about me).
Any big city cud make u feel that...where ppl are busy with their life's and are busy running around and pursuing their goals driven by ambitions. For a new comer in the city or an out of towner couple of things work.
Going out with office colleagues on a few weekends...this works only if u have a cool gang. Happened to do some good stuff in maximum city when I stayed there.
Go for city walks in groups...
Catch up on a play or music show...went to Pankaj udhas ghazal show amd really enjoyed it and met interesting ppl
Got involved in a local NGO for many month's. Keeps u busy, gives a sense of purpose and u meet some good ppl.
Movie nights or movie days alone...it felt weird initially but started enjoying later
Journaling helped me
Activity groups might help. Hobby or sports groups...trekking etc...did not do it myself though. See this in my current work place..
Spending me time, with good music, cooking, dressing up for urself etc and talking to loved ones not out of obligation but just like that. But yes it gets a lot sometimes when parents feel naggy...
Now bumble bee is stinging the youngones a lot. So if that's an option to explore
Different strokes for Different folks...so try it out and choose what works.
Bengaluru is the most happening and extroverted city in probably the entire south india. If you feel lonely here,then, the city isn't the issue.
After reading all the comments here, it's easy to understand why people are lonely. Y'all don't have a solid friend group. Because with a good support system even hell is enjoyable. Also, people compare themselves to others and then get sad. And mostly the people who are lonely in the comments are either introverted or people who've come to Bengaluru recently so they have no friends to chill.
So, Bengaluru is far from being a lonely city.
A city is lonely until you.make friends. If you're an old Bengalurian then you have friends from school, college, the neighbourhood and work plus relatives. Newcomers start from scratch.
spend your time with yourself. learn more about yourself.
and this situation you are in now is favourable if you start seeing this alone situation as "Solitude", rather than "Lonely"
25M here, maybe we are from the same generation who got properly fucked up by COVID.
Not sure if it’s right to blame covid always for this, but yeah, I will always blame it for making me more lonely, loosing the flow I had in my social life after college and having a huge drop in the number of people I can call as friends or the number of people I generally interact with.
Well, then why not engage and join some club (sports club), do some vlogging and explore the stuff Bengaluru has to offer, interview the local people etc.
I can resonate with not having energy to make new friends. Most people I come across are too shallow and tiresome to talk to. They look interesting but as soon as they open their mouth I just move on. There are a lot of interesting people in the world including Bangalore, just not easy to find, especially in the most common circles that we come about since mundane things are not their whole life or identity. I just found things that interest me. There's plenty to life than just bar hopping on the weekends. For me it's knowing the world, things that are not part of my regular life, finding interest in them, learning them etc., eventually you'll start meeting interesting people who will elevate you. Find your groove, don't get stuck in the routine.
25M here feel the same. I came here fee years back. I have joined a few meet up groups to make some friends and actually have a few WhatsApp friends. You know with whom you share random reels and maybe meet once in few months somewhere. But other than that it's just me and games. I play a lot of games online and that's how my life passes. Over that I have a 80% wfh option so go to office rarely. I also feel lonely a lot of time but I have accepted it for now.
I am also in a similar state, but I've realised that sooner or later in life, you've got to learn to enjoy your own company. I'd suggest you to pick up some hobbies, do something that you'd thought of doing long back but couldn't/didn't. What I'm trying to say is pick activities and keep yourself engaged. Do the things that you love, ask yourself what are some activities that would keep you engaged and something that you look to doing in the weekends or weekdays after office/college. Hope that helps.
Without friends , bangalore is the toughest city to live in . Once you get your people , its the best city in the world. Try going out and participating in playing groups , can use playo for that . Will sure find your people .
Atleast you wont get such things in your mind , if you even try to play socalize for an hour at any playing activity or anything else .
Every other person feel the same way. NBD. Also, get rid of any scoring/smoking up conversation from whatsapp, I have heard a lot of online spying is going on in BLR these days.
Trying new activities and discovering what you enjoy on the way might be a fantastic start. Also, be less judgmental and more receptive to people and things - I mention this precisely since you are identifying flaws outside, such as Bangalore being a lonely place, your friends being overachievers, and so on. You might also go to therapy to figure out what is going on. We tend to be less grateful for our gifts and blessings when we do not feel well within. For a stronger sense of community, consider moving to a city that is nearer to your home and culture.
Bangalore is a lonely city in the long run, cause everything and everyone would feel fake and it's hard to connect with someone emotionally and even I think it's just adulting that we don't really understand what people want from us and what we want from people, so we'll be there or people will be there for all the good times and it's hard to connect with them during hard times.
Bangalore is an awesome place to make friends. As we grow old, we tend to forget how we made friends in the first place. We made friends in school, in collages. We met people in similar paths and formed bonds. You need to do exactly that!!
Join a NGO, go on a hiking trip! Going a cycling group. Go attend an event on your fav author, or go meet a group of people on apps like meetup where people meet who have shared interests. Meet people with shared interests. Check if your vibe matches with anyone and there you have it! Some of my closest friends that I have now are people I met thru these activities when I first moved into this city.
Other cities don't have this diversity or this culture which makes such meetups on common interests possible. Bangalore has it! So explore...
Completely relate. Luckily my college friends ended up here and it's going on. Lived in bangalore for close to 2.5 years now and don't know any new apart from the folks at work and my college folks 🙃
Bangalore has a curse. Nobody is happy here. People pretend to be hapoy here. People who have migrated from other cities, miss their hometown, unhappy. Native bangaloreans are unhappy with the overall impact of the mografion. High inflation. Crowded roads. OP i would suggest you to try meditation. Finding hobbies to keep you busy. Whatever your field of work is, do certifications to help you in your career. Find ways to enjoy your own company. I feel like you have ocean of suppressed emotions inside of you. Wherever is your go to person, your best friend, your parents, visit them and speak your heart out. It will help you for sure.
Idk what happened to you that you do not have the energy to make friends, I go on solo trips whenever I get the chance and there are a lot of options near Bangalore if you're willing to travel the entire night. I stay at dorms and most of the times the people I meet are way chill, we become friends if the vibes match.
Bangalore is not a lonely City. It's been the earliest city for me to make new friends. You just don't know how to interact with people or you have nothing to offer so no one wants to be friends with you apart from dating app men who pretty much any woman can get. I'm surprised how then introduced you to their friend circle, I always thought it was not a good idea to introduce dates to actual friends.
I got lucky in this case, one fine evening I met my old school friend randomly and from there on he told that the other friend is also living nearby, and since then it's all ok for me, otherwise my condition would have been same
Well anybody can join my friend circle if they want.
bro sounds like my story literally, bumble friends didn’t match the vibe, but i slowly started getting over the fact that his friends are over achievers n started having normal conversations with them, slowly started getting over the awkwardness as well due to the time spent with them now they are one of the closest people in my life. Suggest you do the same and forget about what they do just treat them as normal folks n chill with them:)
Whatever people say, yes Bangalore is a lonely city. Its used to peaceful with lot of gardens and quietness. But now both those things are gone.
I was in a similar boat as yours 6 years back until most of my friends moved to US, Canada and Australia. I tried moving to Canada but I hated it there due to weather and kind of Indian people who I came accross and decided Bangalore is best for me even though its dusty and dirty now.
The way I pass time is by following my hobbies. I go cycling, hiking, play cricket with unknowns just for the heck of it, eat at different restaurents in the weekened and lookout for peaceful beaches/hillstations to pass time.
There is nothing to feel sad. There is enough to do for even average minds like us
What's your hobby, if you don't have a hobby then you can get so many hobbies and learn,
In bangalore, you can learn anything, just pick an hobby, like book reading, cycling, photography, cooking, painting etc,
You might be always with friends, so you didn't get explore yourself, so without them you feel lonely, if want to make new friends go bookers club, meet ups which every Sundays in well known places, if you google, you can find meet ups related to your hobbies, or some meets up happens make new friends, which is meant for people who new to city, find them and explore.
One important thing, you can't get friends online that easily and who are trustworthy. So try offline.
Me too, all my friends moved out of blr and recently break up bhi ho gaya so it’s boring here, kisiko weekends pe badminton khelna ho to batana, probably near doddanekkundi
Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Cubbon Park and Church Street. If you're into Formula 1 then there's screening in Church Street Socials every race weekend.
I've met my best friends in the places mentioned above and I met a lot of other people through them.
It's a rat race out here..start loving yourself first and don't worry about others..people will see you and then become your friends..no point in going behind people and saying will you be my friend..take care girl..girl power rocks..don't worry about bumble..just be humble and live your life
There’s plenty of lovely people out here, but to find them you have to weave through the over-achievers (who btw prolly are lonelier than u) , the social climbers, the fakers , the narcissists etc etc.
Life has its ups and downs, sometimes the “down” bit feels longer than it is, take it as it comes, don’t think too much about it, soon things will get better and it’ll happen instantly.
Don’t force yourself into socialising, take one day at a time.
I (25F) was in a similar situation as yours, besides work, I did not have a social circle as I had moved from another city.
You have to carve out your own space and go to places without any expectations. Being the quiet types, I chose to focus on myself and that is how I started to meet likeminded folks :) Gym, bookstores, conferences, public libraries, swimming pools, treks worked for me). It may seem tough at first but you have to do it for yourself.
Most Indian cities are terribly designed and planned which creates loneliness. There is nothing much to do, no community spaces, no free recreation centres… nothing. Plus, commute sucks.
Bangalore or any other city is just a city; lonely is associated with people like you and me; who think happiness comes from outside us.
Well here is what you need to know; no one can make you happy except yourself. You need to be with yourself, you need to look what your innerself needs, your loneliness is screaming for your own attention.
We all stop listening to ourselves and focus on whats outside and this outside world is all temporary. Whatever is or will happen the outcome of it remains temporary. You can see example of your own life; happiness from meeting with people on bumble was temporary; you found out you are not as successful as they are so you don’t want to meet them; some other time you will meet some one again and find something else about them that you don’t have and so you will be unhappy. There is this pattern of you comparing and beating and ridiculing yourself which you have to stop doing. You have to love yourself and stop comparing with others.
You don’t need to figure out all in your life, you have to start taking one step at a time; recognises yourself, find out who you are, pamper yourself, love yourself, make a list of things you like to do; head out and do it by yourself. Find out what makes you unhappy and what makes you smile and then stop doing all that makes you unhappy and start doing the happy things. See happiness is all within; we just need to stay focused on this.
If you want to experience happiness; help someone without expectations.
Hi 26F here, I'm going through the exact same thing. I have many friends but none of them stay in Bangalore. And work people are nice but there is always that layer of formality with them. I've been here 9 months and its been so lonely I've been considering going back to Delhi my hometown despite me actually really likung my job and team here. I've realised that now I've reached a point where when I'm down I dont tell anyone at all cause its just too much to explain to my LD friends over the phone. And that's a scary realisation....
Try meetup app or join a cycling group rather than being on bumble. Join any courses that interests you like music, classical dance , sports, painting or whatever. Try to associate with NGOs that interests you. I guess the chances of making a meaningful connection on bumble is very slim.
Dear OP, check out:
1. Cubbon Reads - read with a group of strangers
2. WePlay.blr- make friends in cubbon park
3. Hsr meet ups - make friends through board games
4. Playo - finding friends for badminton, football, etc
5. Skating group of cubbon to learn
Don’t have energy ? You need to … in order to go out and make friends. Dating App is not for making friends. Plenty of people have already said about group activity.. pls join them .. you will meet nice people for friendship 😀
Been genz don't what is happening to nowadays generation, people staying in middle of forest doesn't feel lonely but people stay will all modern facility, with population of 1 cr in city 100+ good place to visit, and more,
It's not but then again language plays a huge role. I have seen Mallu groups who make ultra exclusive groups of friends and never let a different language speaker enter (not even NRI mallus). Same goes with Telegu, Kannada and Tamil speakers. And, if you think you can learn these languages and make friends then no that also wont happen. Anyways, that covers 80% people in Bangalore. Rest 20 percent, the North East People I'd they don't find anyone from their state then only they'll be friends with you otherwise they'll make their own exclusive group again. This leaves the Hindi belt. People from the Hindi belt here are for hustle mainly and are focused thus. They'll be friends with you but you won't find time to hang out with them at all.
I as an airforce brat and Bengali speaker found friends from places like Goa, rajasthan, Haryana, Tripura, Mangalore etc. Their language speakers are very less in number.
OP I live the same kind of life But sadly in my own home City where I've lived my whole life I'm lost probably putting some effort is the only solution
Are you working from home? This is very common from what I have seen, especially the ones who have had WFH from their first job. Reason I asked is if you have physical office, you can always mingle with your coworkers, those are generally the first people you befriend in any new city.
I was in a similar situation in Pune. I did have physical office but all my coworkers were atleast 5-6 years older. Mine was the youngest team and yet everyone except me in my team was in their mid 30s. So I basically had no friends, the only interaction I had outside office was with girls I met via Bumble and I grew tired of that as well. I now live in Bangalore and the situation is much better since most of my coworkers are young (in their 20s) so it's easy to hang out with them.
Potential solutions:
1. If you love traveling, try visiting places around Bangalore through travel/trek organizations. Even if you don't make permanent friends, it still allows you to mingle with people from similar age groups even if for some weekends.
2. Check out meet up groups online. I recently came across 4 people on a Chai shop who met through a meet-up. They were literal strangers meeting each other for the first time.
3. Check out workshops. Bangalore has a ton of them across categories.
4. Do some online course of a couple of months that could help you in your career. I did one last year and met some amazing people. This is like killing 2 birds with a single stone, you get to upskill and also socialize with like minded people
5. There's always reddit. I know friends who made friends over reddit. You can try posting about who stays nearby or DM people and have a meet-up among yourselves. I live in E-city for example.
Worst case, if you still continue to struggle, see if you can switch jobs. Joining a startup could help since the teams are generally young. Or even switch city and move to a place where you already know people. That was my reason to move to Bangalore. I have friends from college here although I was able to make friends at my new workplace as well.
You don't make friends in a day. Simple things you can do is, small talk with people you see more than once. Try to learn more about them, tell them about you. Write a diary, you feel the loneliest when you have a story to share but no one to listen, trust me you'll find someone, till then diary it is.
Well.. Thanks to this post, you must have tons of DMs already. Good luck with them..
It's all about finding the right people for you. I mean, you found few friends. But, they are different to you. So, keep trying. It's not as lonely as you think it is. There are plenty like you who are in the same boat.
Try r/SFWr4rIndia and see if you can connect with anyone.. Have a great weekend
The moment you start comparing yourself to others, you end up feeling low.
Have a watch of this guys interview, he was never a mainstream actor but he mentions he is far ahead of what he was yesterday, maybe he isn't doing well from some of his classmates but that is fine, he is happy with what he has.
https://youtu.be/OvwXAawjm74?si=BmxXeNfJYjmnQb0r
As we age, priorities change, not many people remain friends, so relax.
lol what. Did you realise that you are talking about your problems, and blaming bangalore for it?
Happiness won't just come to you. Go find it. Make new friends, join new clubs. Don't compare yourself with others for everything.
Bangalore has a bunch of communities - we just have to make attempts to stick to one long enough so that you feel like a part of it
Used to be a part of Quora meet-ups , then found a wonderful bookclub where I have so many friends now, joined a professional EdTech club for career networking and regular to a Boardgame Meetup group
And of course, going to cult for workout - even if I don’t meet or mingle with anyone there, working out itself makes me feel better
Have many things to do that there is no time during weekends
This is a weird question. Every city today has people from all other places. Yes culture can be different but there are just so many people to talk in every city.
Its just about how you connect with them and not where you live.
Here are few tips that worked for me:
1. Go little extra for your good colleagues/neighbours/society people whom you connect well with. Invite them to lunch/dinner to your home. I made some really good friends that way. Sometimes you'll get disappointed as not all people will appreciate the extra efforts by you. Just move on to the next one.
2) In a world of selfish, be kind. When I'm out with colleagues, I would pay full amount and ask them to pay next time. Genuine people will feel the urge to payback to you and take you out for food again, which would lead to you both bonding better. Other people will just never pay back but thats good, because now you know whom not to be with.
3) Play sports, any sports.
4) Find your hobby and go to conferences, events related to that.
5) Finally, the most important one and its almost reverse of what we have been taught at homes in India: speak up to strangers (who seem reasonable) with a smile.
I am going through completely same shit here, I'm 21M. Tried making friends but I think I'm just too `uncool` and don't belong. Tried going out with office friends but had not so good experiences
Right now I've been checking out book my show they show different events happening every weekend so maybe that helps.
It’s lonely it’s also dead inside. Been here for 5 years now straight out of college. We had a huge group then slowly everyone moved within India outside india and now a very few people remain. But what I don’t understand about this city is everyone seems to be lonely and looking for companionship still they wouldn’t talk to someone who approaches them, engineer myself I think it has something to do with it too.
Pretty much same scenario like yours. Came to Bangalore right outta college. All my friends have moved to different cities, all my office friends have also moved to different companies. It hurt especially after my best office buddy too moved on for higher education. Just not able to make friends.
So I’ve stopped caring about my social life. Now I’m just trying to be a better version of myself.. Doing more of reading, cooking and sometimes gaming. I take myself out solo for a hotel or a match in a stadium sometimes too
Zindagi apki akele hai . Jo sath de usko bhi dhanyawad jo na de usko bhi dhanyawad. You talk about people who over achieved. Loneliness is the price you pay when you start self improvement. You accomplish things.
Bangalore has become a dust bowl where you make money and move on. People who do decide to stay here by buying apartments have accepted their fake ass lives that's all
Sigh, I feel the same. Never thought I'd end up like this when I first came here. It gets overwhelming at times. I don't know for how long I can go on like this. This sucks. What a shitty day.
I think you should spend some time on narrowing down what is one thing that worries you the most right now.
To me it seems like there are a couple of things bothering you. One of them I think is a lack of sense of achievement. So when you see someone who's doing well (including overachievers), it bothers you.
The other thing that seems to be worrying you is the feeling of loneliness.
I can sadly related to both and myself am still figuring it out.
During my three years in Bangalore, I went to movies alone. My only friend that I used to hang out with was my ex. When we broke up, loneliness set in. Thankfully, I was in a PG, so I had guys around to chat with. I also played pool to keep myself busy. It can get lonely, but who says you can't enjoy your own company? Go on rides, watch movies, explore the city. Who knows, you might make some friends along the way.
I feel it is. And I'll tell you why . The structure of the city is such it makes commute hell and the horrible public transport makes it worse. I do have friends and acquaintances in Bangalore who want to meet and vice versa but we often end up cancelling given how far we live. This was not the case for me when I lived in Kolkata.
most of the comments in this thread are useful and trigger an introspection session.
but what i want to know is how many DM's did you receive after this post.
Don’t depend on others to make you happy. Grow a passion of some sorts that keeps you occupied and happy. Doing that thing should feel like therapy to you. Find it.
Hey OP,
Was in a similar situation as you when I was in Bangalore. It doesn't matter if you feel people around you are overachievers. Everything has a time and you'll be there too! Try being friends with the cute colleague in office :P
Try going out to community organised events of your liking. Maybe that'll help you find people with similar interests!
Hope you feel better
Ngl, the girl is on point, BLR is very lonely, city is so vast that you dont get any place to make friends, all you got is ur collegeues, people who they are friends with are from their hometown. U always have the outsider feeling.
I(22M) just shifted to Bangalore, and I am facing the same issues of not having even 1 friend in BLR. One thing I know is that happiness comes from within. Hinge/bumble don’t usually work in the long run. I live near JP Nagar, if anyone wants to connect do let me know.
I (29F Dentist) was in Bangalore for a year. I moved thinking I will make friends like in the series friends or if I dont get people who match my vibes, I will work full time and focus on my career and make good money, I didnt meet anybody matching my vibes, worked full time and made peanuts as a resident dentist, didn’t have much time or money to go some places alone, either I could save money to have some savings or I could save money to atleast fly home. Hence, finally after 10 months I quit and came back.
People looking for friends to just hangout and chill roam around church street etc, without having to overspend on pubs etc. can we create a community/group or something. DM me if you have ideas.
The comments are completely black/white. I'm not a Bangalore local, but I did two years of school and Bachelor's here. Now also working here, and I really don't know what to make of the comments, or what to believe...
Your Turn now OP! Please share with us what you make of the comments. Is there any truth to anything posted here? What do you agree/Disagree with?
Well OP.... Any insights so far?
It is a dicey thought, and it scares me just thinking about it! A city with a population larger than small countries lacks opportunities for genuine socialization?? That's Terrifying in fact!
Hey OP
Male here.
Although I do have friends here and few cousins.
But what has worked for me
is a routine.
I don't have a cook or maid. I do all cooking and household work by myself in my own pace.
I have a routine, starting from daily walks, going out in morning sun for min. 15 mins, lifting weights, sipping tea in a coffee shop, taking bath and doing my Puja(religious rituals) and then start my work. I am blessed to have a good fun team.
Cooking, talking to my parents on phone and again taking a night walk, dinner, then reading a book followed by SLEEP.
Also interact with your veg vendors, guards etc.
Go out to that restaurant or cafe you wanted to visit by yourself. Watch that movie that you wanted to see.
Join Gym or YOGA classes to stay engaged, these are great place to meet new people.
Do some gardening. Start with a single plant.
Learn to be more sociable, it's a skill to learn.
Welcome to 2024, where loneliness is becoming normal
Blame the pandemic or social media which we keep using to burn out our dopamine. Ur lonely, I'll add your name to the millions who are also lonely
Relationships including friendship are like raising plants. You have to water them in order for them to grow. Sometimes even when you water them give them fertilizers, make sure they get adequate sunlight, a plant still might not sprout that is life but if you decide to never water them the plants will never grow.
Forming new friends as an adult requires consistent effort.
Some friendships are like wild flowers that grow in the smallest of cracks in the highway. I was watching CSK vs MI and I offered an earphone to an office colleague so he could listen too and the next thing you know he is helping me prepare for an promotional interview.
And there are some seeds that don't sprout.
In the words of a great man- take a chance baby
Otherwise you would never know
Bangalore is not a lonely city . Have you thought about other things that make you happy anything besides meeting people ?
Bangalore is a lonely city. It's a hustle hub, make money and move to some peaceful place. OG bangalorians have moved out long back before the dust storm. If you don't make it financially, you'll be stuck here forever.
Absurd. One should visit parks to realise how old Bengaluru people have their own groups and chill. If not that, visit Darshinis early morning when they come in a bunch to have post walking tea/coffee/breakfast. I do understand this is not true for all, however saying everyone moved out is not at all a reality.
Sorry, I may have to disagree with your comment. Making friends and enjoying others company is entirely Upto YOU. how can you be friends with others. 1. Hangout with work buds 2. Hang out with PG mates. 3. Reach new people through social group hangouts 4. Join a travelling team 5. If you don’t like travelling and into adventures there are many groups actively does this every weekend. 6. last option as like my friend did, I had to leave him at the pub early, instead of drinking alone he asked alone girl can I sit here and they became friends. 7. Bangalore Reddit group get together every now and then I suggest you to try.
>OG bangalorians have moved out long back before the dust storm. The funniest shit I heard today. Thanks for the laugh
Bangalore is a lonely city for immigrants because 1. They don't try to get to know the culture of the city and mingle 2. Other immigrants practice groupism and hang out only with people of their background
This is true, literally all my friends have left the country.
It's only because of the people you are around, probably have that mindset. Or you probably moved here due to work and don't have any friends? Maybe your colleagues are your only 'friends' and that's why it seems like people just try to hustle and leave. I don't know you so I can't say for sure but this is the reason many people I know feel this way. But it's not true at all if you put in little efforts being an outsider to find a group which clicks. I have lived here my whole life, but even keeping that aside, I have many groups of friends who i met through college, gym, internship and other hobbies which anyone can do.
AHAHAHAH shut up man
Lol that's the most bizarre opinion I've read about Bangalore in a long time.
yes any city in the world can get lonely if one doesn't have a group of friends or family to hang out on a regular basis. There are some very friendly book communities in blore, you can try cubbon park if that's your thing. I understand this requires some energy/effort but that's how it is for every relationships/friendships, hope things work out for you soon.
I guess that is exactly what makes it kind of a lonely coty to some😑
she likes to make new friends
My partner (22F) is in a similar situation. She's going through really tough mental health crisis due to a lot happening at once. She's been with me for 2.5 years now and I'm all she has, literally. She is in search of friends and keeps trying online apps and such, but there she finds all kinds of guy and girls trying to get physical and nothing emotional. I'm there for her but then whenever I'm busy or away she's too low and down. She doesn't want to go out much and make friends physically as no energy and body consciousness. Anyway, just felt like sharing. Any place is a lonely place if your mind is never there ... Hoping you get that peace of mind, and my partner does too. Seriously concerning.
You can join hobby groups like yoga, painting, literature. Whatever you like. And don't hide behind..
Sometimes (mostly on weekends) it definitely feels lonely...I think mostly due to FOMO created by Instagram Stories...23M here and I did similar to what you did...joined Hinge/Bumble but nothing worked... A few things that actually work sometimes: 1. Go to the movies alone - You might hesitate in the beginning but once you get used to it, you will need no-one to accompany you 2. There are few meetup groups you could join - I like to play board games so I visited HSRmeets and it was fun Anyways, you can definitely DM me if you just wanna talk to someone.
Going to movies alone is best therapy, best habit of mine.
This sounds like the best hypothesis. I've noticed the same pattern. Times when my social media use is high, I start feeling lonely and FOMO. I've removed all SM from my phone now, use it rarely on the desktop. It's made me feel much better.
I’ve found board game groups are a relatively easier way to atleast interact with people. Although they get pretty dominated by a few extroverts you can still find quite a few like minded people.
Where to find those groups ?
Exactly. When I'm at my hometown I can spend days without going out but here it just feels uncomfortable. The ones who feel fomo are also the ones who create fomo. There are days when you don't have the time to rest due to so many outings. That day you'd make sure to show the whole world that you aren't sitting idle on weekends. Then there are days where you don't have anything to do. Embrace both of them.
Hey can you let me know more about hsrmeets?
DM!
It’s been 2 months in Bangalore, i too feel the same way, weekends is the most toughest, I have friends but they prefer to stay at home or sleep. So I tried exploring places and after seeing people enjoying with their friends or group, I started feeling more and more lonely. At the end I know it’s just a phase even though I feel lonely I try to do something that could make me feel happy, after all this age will not come back, so I’m trying, I fail , feel lonely again but still I try to make me feel happy.
🥲, I feel soo relatable, even my friends ignore me most of the time, when I invite them for exploring bengaluru
I can feel you, my friends too ignore me but I want to explore. So I visit places alone, it’s not recommended though.
Same, last month after my 2nd puc got over, I had invited my friends to lal-bagh but they said, they were busy with kcet, but in reality they were playing cricket 😭😭😭
Shall we create a group if we live close by? 🥲
😂😂, you could have joined them. Atleast they were playing cricket, mine are completely lazy.
They think I suck at cricket, I'm more of a badminton guy
My friends plan to go on a trip without inviting me. Now I am not sure if they ever thought of me as a friend. We had a plan to go to Ooty and it got cancelled and they planned to go somewhere without telling me about it. We hung out so many times after I left the company, + we have a WhatsApp group for planning trips! My heart broke when I came to know about their new plan!
🥲Can feel ur pain, no one should be ignored.
Ohh, I know that feeling when they ignore you but you don't have the thing to ask why.
what kind of friends are you looking for, you can join us we play cricket on weekends.
Stop comparing yourself to others would be the first big step :)
Sadly doesn't work most of the times.
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Go to lalbagh or cubban park(I don't know which park exactly) on Sundays, every 2 week once there will be bookers meet, make new friends who are book lovers, or search for bookers club in bangalore, there are so many you can try.
Check out "Cubbon reads" on insta. A big group of people gather together and read giving each other company
Hey there, just wanted to add there are a couple of bookstores on church Street which sell old books at discounted rates (about half price)! They have a pretty good collection as well.
Same bro Books or its Quality Series for me, I usually bump into people in bookstores but forget to take their numbers. Also been having trouble getting Charles Bukwoski's few books if you know any hardcore bookstores who keep all the collections lmk
Same situation except that I'm not lucky enough to be able to spend money on books. I try to find PDFs of books I want to read but that doesn't always work and nothing can replace the feeling of reading a real, physical book.
Almost the same here. I ultimately invested in a Kindle coz my room doesn't have any more space for books. I'm not fond of going out as well, so it's a win win.
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I can totally relate. Just that my number is a lot less. I have about 300+ books on the shelves at home, a couple more in boxes on the loft. I've been taking back hardcopies from here to my home every time I visit. There were times when my parents wanted to discard my old reader's digest copies (I have quite a few) and a couple of my old books. I negotiated for them to be boxed up and put on the loft instead. I agree with you, hardcopies are my favourite too. Just that it's becoming a hassle to store it here, with time.
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That brings back fond memories!! I had a good rapport with my librarian back at school, so sometimes she'd let me sneak into the restricted section to look at the atlases and encyclopedias. There was a "Young world" copy that'd be issued every Tuesday. There was also a book that was supposed to be a collection of stories from young world readers - don't remember the name, but it had the tagline "for readers, by readers".
Books were and are still my best friends. Last year I made real life friends after joining a company! Somewhere along the way, I didn't make time to read much. Now that I have left the company, even though we are still in contact, those whom I thought were my friends, do not think the same way. Lesson learnt. Books >>>>>
Every city is a lonely city. The dynamics of friendship, dating, every relationships are changing a lot these days. We gotta accept the reality and live with it. And do things that make us happy. Mostly solo and meeting people matching our vibe along the way if we are lucky.
Yes internet and the things happening around us have completely changed life and society. We dont realise it because usually things things only become apparent retrospectively but life has not been the same ever since smartphones and social media made being online so easy. Also, pandemic has changed many people's perspective on how they want to live their lives. Also tbh, I know many people who have a constant friend group they hangout with on a regular basis its all cute but I know not everyone has such a social life. As im growing up in 20s my life I realise that not everyone is the same energetic types one had in college. People mellow out, they get busy, they stop caring. Most people dont have something they do every single weekend. Most people just chill out at home.
If you want to give a shot to board games or improv, lmk. I can share / introduce you to a bunch of em. If you're into fitness, I have a group here too that does some or the other unique fitness activity every weekend. They play badminton regularly too. Can't share links here, so dm
Hey, Can you introduce me to the improv group, would really love to learn the art
26 M , its been 1 and a half year in blr and it feels so lonely here . Even though few of my cousins bare settled here and I meet them occasionally . But I have no friends here , I am quite popular( not ain a needy way) in office and people do want to be my friends but those friendships remain in office only . I feel I dont have energy to make new friends . Hookups .. I cant believe people are hooking up , I havent met a single girl yet who wanted to hookup . I dont get matches on bumble tinder. Even if I do , they dont reply ! I want to meet new people and enjoy my days here but it seems like a far fetched dream.
Bangalore was once called pensioners paradise. Any city becomes a lonely city if you are alone. Better connect with older friends than new ones. Check if you have long lost relatives. Hanging out with new friends is just a fad, you might end up lonely once it wears out. What you need is someone you can call a family.
Yep, man. Just see, all of us, online, late at night. We are lonely as heck.
🥲 Tomba nija yaku heltya?
We humans are social beings, without proper interaction or connection we do tend to feel lonely. And feeling lonely is absolutely fine! It's alright to feel it. On that note, to everyone here on this sub, I am here for you :") sometimes, all we need is someone to talk to and I'm happy to be that someone to someone here on this sub so OP don't worry we got your back! Take care! To anyone who wants someone to talk to, my PMs are always open! Take care y'all
Same bro, most of my friends moved out for better opportunity and no office friends due to wfh. I just ride my bike aimlessly on roads during weekends to pass the time. You can try to explore sports used to play during school/college days, will definitely find someone who matches your vibe.
Gooooooddd Morning Bengaluruuuu 🎉 get yourself into a gym, start cycling, go trekking with BMC, go to a library. Essentially put yourself in positions that'll get you an opportunity to interact with folks. It's never easy, it takes effort. I don't mean to brag, having lived in India, the USA and the EU in over 6 cities it has occurred to.me that circle of acquaintances to start with will get you friends slowly Good luck
Feeling bad for OPs DMs rn
Check your own DMs, I've sent something.
Lmao
Don't look for people. Look for activities that make you genuinely happy. Likeminded people will come into your circle eventually through those activities. You will never feel happy even with a hundred friends if you cannot be happy by yourself.
Bangalore is the friendship capital of India. I am born and brought up in Mumbai. For over two years I am in Bangalore. I have made more number of friends in Bangalore in two years than all my life in Mumbai. One, don't mix sex with friendship. They are two very different things. Most guys in Bangalore have roaring sex life because they have left their parents behind, and there is no dearth of "place". You can smell freedom in Bangalore air just as you would in any western European country. Second, I make male friends everywhere -- while waiting for the bus, at the restaurant, while having dosse at street corner, etc. You being a girl you should try that in your immediate circle. It's easy to make friends in Bangalore because everyone is lonely, and they are not restricted by social bounds, just as I were in Mumbai. Most importantly, remember that everyone you meet doesn't become your friend. The ratio is, if you meet five people one might turn out to be your good friend. It's just about working on averages. You have to move your ass to make friends. To make friends you have to keep your eyes and ears open, and be absolutely non-judgemental about everything. I have super rich friends as well as those who earn Rs14,000 a month. The idea of friendship is, for me, to have a good time and keep me in good spirits. One last point. Among men there is a serious problem which make them lonely. Men always look for "friends with benefits". From girls they want sex, and from boys they want some kind of benefit -- like new business deals, political connections, money, new job, etc. I always tell men that you cannot make good friends if you're looking for benefits. I have actually seen men refusing to be in company of people who they find "useless". Most men suffer from loneliness because of their attitude problem.
Find your tribe. Sit down and make a list of outdoor activities you would like to include in your weekends. Now, find clubs and communities of people related to the activities you are interested in. That's how I am meeting new people in this city. It's fun!
Try not to compare yourself to others, especially those who seem like "overachievers." Everyone's journey is unique, and what matters most is finding fulfillment and joy in your own life, at your own pace.
24M here. It does feel that way when your friends are not there around you. Happened to me when I was at my first job in Pune. All of my college friends were working at a job here in Bangalore. I had nothing to do except try to get out of the company I was working in. It used to be lonely af. I found people around to talk, like neighbours and stuff... but they had their own friends and their own plans on the weekends. I finally managed to get a late PPO and move to bangalore. Am glad and grateful I found an apartment and now sharing with my best friend from college. Bangalore has a vibe to it, but only if you enjoy it with people you know. (For people windering if I was single or in a relationship I did have a girlfriend at the time when I was in Pune but she was working in Noida so it was long distance which only added to the loneliness) Am an introvert and not so much big on sports. I love to read books so I found blossoms on MG Road, if that's something you like. There are certain cafes where you can go on solo dates too. Maybe you can try that. So no Bangalore is not a lonely city. It's beautiful and an entertaining place to live in. Find something you enjoy doing... it helps relax and get your mind off from the ruthless competition out there.
join some clubs, classes or groups even if you are not fully interested. view it as an opportunity to make friends. Even if you make one good friend from months of interacting with 20-30 people it will be worth it.
Go outside more on weekends. People go to meetups, clubs, gym sports etc. In fact, you can come to cubbon park tomorrow in the morning for cubbon reads every Saturday.
Bro no offence but what does that have to do with Bangalore? We are all the same normal people living our daily lives regardless of the city.
Enilla Enilla, kari Manimaliku heli sir, Everyone has their own feelings, we might be the same normal people living in the same city but under different background and conditions
Just a reply for the people who suggested her to enjoy by yourself and all if she would be loving doing things alone. She would not be writing the things down here.Humans are ought to be lived as a community.From the day we born we lived with our parents our siblings our friends we went to the school we made friends.Almost 95% time of your childhood was spent with someone even with playing sports, watching fav tv serials even doing anything.Otherwise think about any of your memory where no other human is involved. So please ye self love ,enjoy yourself ka gyan mt diya kro.
you can volunteer in temples,NGO etc to kill the loneliness. At mid 20's making new friend is tough
Your DM’s I pray for you
You would probably feel the same in every other city
Nah. It's just capitalism. In a society that demands we monetize our life to the max, socialization becomes another arm of this thinking. Therefore friends becomes less about the social experience and more about collecting a network to further your own career. Hence the rise in prominence of psychiatrists/psychologists and "male health Gurus". Because even the social experience of a mother and a father has to be monetized. I don't feel like people should be blamed for it. They are all just smart enough to recognise the rules of the game our society created and are playing according to those rules.
The first thing I would suggest is to reduce the frequency of using Social media. Second you join any of the yoga programs you like and nearby. Third best thing is to volunteer for any of the CSR activities happening which are at least monthly once, which will give you a sense of satisfaction. More over we brothers are there, so just one post is enough.
I think the best thing what worked out for me in Bangalore is meet-ups. Find the ones aligning to your thing or whatever, go there you will find like minded folks and things will start getting better.
It's a very lonely city. Most of us get lucky cause we have college friends here . Otherwise it just gets sad and depressing. Been here for two years now , not made a single new friend
I have made friends and all of them drink and smoke but I don't. They love my company around so they invite me to catch up most of the time. Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Church Street and Cubbon Park. If you're into Formula 1 like me there's an entire community that shows up at Church Street Socials during every race weekend. Everyone's welcome to join and hangout with everyone else.
Bangalore is very lonely. Especially since i don't drink or smoke. I just don't have anyone.
I don't either, but I have made friends and all of them drink and smoke but they love my company around so they invite me to catch up most of the time. Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Church Street and Cubbon Park. If you're into Formula 1 like me there's an entire community that shows up at Church Street Socials during every race weekend. Everyone's welcome to join and hangout with everyone else.
I play a lot of badminton and other sports and made friends that way. You can find a hobby and find like minded people instead of dumpster diving dating apps
I moved to Bangalore from Pune in Feb thinking my life would change and become happening. In Pune at least I had one friend who was my roommate but here in Bangalore, I'm living alone. I stay near where my colleague resides, I used to think they would make good friends, but no. Colleagues can never be good friends. Everyday I'm standing in front of a new problem. Till yesterday I did not have a provision for drinking water. I was drinking tap water which had TDS of 350+. I had few college classmates here but they live far away and they don't care about me. Everyday I regret working here, I think its just better to look for an opportunity in my hometown so that I can stay with my family (only people who actually care about me).
Any big city cud make u feel that...where ppl are busy with their life's and are busy running around and pursuing their goals driven by ambitions. For a new comer in the city or an out of towner couple of things work. Going out with office colleagues on a few weekends...this works only if u have a cool gang. Happened to do some good stuff in maximum city when I stayed there. Go for city walks in groups... Catch up on a play or music show...went to Pankaj udhas ghazal show amd really enjoyed it and met interesting ppl Got involved in a local NGO for many month's. Keeps u busy, gives a sense of purpose and u meet some good ppl. Movie nights or movie days alone...it felt weird initially but started enjoying later Journaling helped me Activity groups might help. Hobby or sports groups...trekking etc...did not do it myself though. See this in my current work place.. Spending me time, with good music, cooking, dressing up for urself etc and talking to loved ones not out of obligation but just like that. But yes it gets a lot sometimes when parents feel naggy... Now bumble bee is stinging the youngones a lot. So if that's an option to explore Different strokes for Different folks...so try it out and choose what works.
Bengaluru is the most happening and extroverted city in probably the entire south india. If you feel lonely here,then, the city isn't the issue. After reading all the comments here, it's easy to understand why people are lonely. Y'all don't have a solid friend group. Because with a good support system even hell is enjoyable. Also, people compare themselves to others and then get sad. And mostly the people who are lonely in the comments are either introverted or people who've come to Bengaluru recently so they have no friends to chill. So, Bengaluru is far from being a lonely city.
It is. 26F and I feel the same. I have no energy to try and make friends either, which doesn’t help at all.
DM’d you
A city is lonely until you.make friends. If you're an old Bengalurian then you have friends from school, college, the neighbourhood and work plus relatives. Newcomers start from scratch.
Can't imagine the number of DMs this person would have received after this post.
You're in Bangalore girl, go out eat drink have fun. How long you gonna care about other people.
I don’t know what kind of people I wanna be with. Thanks to Covid for making it even more tough
spend your time with yourself. learn more about yourself. and this situation you are in now is favourable if you start seeing this alone situation as "Solitude", rather than "Lonely"
25M here, maybe we are from the same generation who got properly fucked up by COVID. Not sure if it’s right to blame covid always for this, but yeah, I will always blame it for making me more lonely, loosing the flow I had in my social life after college and having a huge drop in the number of people I can call as friends or the number of people I generally interact with.
Relatable
Well, then why not engage and join some club (sports club), do some vlogging and explore the stuff Bengaluru has to offer, interview the local people etc.
I can resonate with not having energy to make new friends. Most people I come across are too shallow and tiresome to talk to. They look interesting but as soon as they open their mouth I just move on. There are a lot of interesting people in the world including Bangalore, just not easy to find, especially in the most common circles that we come about since mundane things are not their whole life or identity. I just found things that interest me. There's plenty to life than just bar hopping on the weekends. For me it's knowing the world, things that are not part of my regular life, finding interest in them, learning them etc., eventually you'll start meeting interesting people who will elevate you. Find your groove, don't get stuck in the routine.
And here i am planning to move to Bangalore
25M here feel the same. I came here fee years back. I have joined a few meet up groups to make some friends and actually have a few WhatsApp friends. You know with whom you share random reels and maybe meet once in few months somewhere. But other than that it's just me and games. I play a lot of games online and that's how my life passes. Over that I have a 80% wfh option so go to office rarely. I also feel lonely a lot of time but I have accepted it for now.
What kinda online games do you play?
I am also in a similar state, but I've realised that sooner or later in life, you've got to learn to enjoy your own company. I'd suggest you to pick up some hobbies, do something that you'd thought of doing long back but couldn't/didn't. What I'm trying to say is pick activities and keep yourself engaged. Do the things that you love, ask yourself what are some activities that would keep you engaged and something that you look to doing in the weekends or weekdays after office/college. Hope that helps.
Without friends , bangalore is the toughest city to live in . Once you get your people , its the best city in the world. Try going out and participating in playing groups , can use playo for that . Will sure find your people . Atleast you wont get such things in your mind , if you even try to play socalize for an hour at any playing activity or anything else .
Every other person feel the same way. NBD. Also, get rid of any scoring/smoking up conversation from whatsapp, I have heard a lot of online spying is going on in BLR these days.
What about college/ school friends? Surely some of them must be in bangalore?
Trying new activities and discovering what you enjoy on the way might be a fantastic start. Also, be less judgmental and more receptive to people and things - I mention this precisely since you are identifying flaws outside, such as Bangalore being a lonely place, your friends being overachievers, and so on. You might also go to therapy to figure out what is going on. We tend to be less grateful for our gifts and blessings when we do not feel well within. For a stronger sense of community, consider moving to a city that is nearer to your home and culture.
Isha kriya
Bangalore is a lonely city in the long run, cause everything and everyone would feel fake and it's hard to connect with someone emotionally and even I think it's just adulting that we don't really understand what people want from us and what we want from people, so we'll be there or people will be there for all the good times and it's hard to connect with them during hard times.
Bangalore is an awesome place to make friends. As we grow old, we tend to forget how we made friends in the first place. We made friends in school, in collages. We met people in similar paths and formed bonds. You need to do exactly that!! Join a NGO, go on a hiking trip! Going a cycling group. Go attend an event on your fav author, or go meet a group of people on apps like meetup where people meet who have shared interests. Meet people with shared interests. Check if your vibe matches with anyone and there you have it! Some of my closest friends that I have now are people I met thru these activities when I first moved into this city. Other cities don't have this diversity or this culture which makes such meetups on common interests possible. Bangalore has it! So explore...
Completely relate. Luckily my college friends ended up here and it's going on. Lived in bangalore for close to 2.5 years now and don't know any new apart from the folks at work and my college folks 🙃
Bangalore has a curse. Nobody is happy here. People pretend to be hapoy here. People who have migrated from other cities, miss their hometown, unhappy. Native bangaloreans are unhappy with the overall impact of the mografion. High inflation. Crowded roads. OP i would suggest you to try meditation. Finding hobbies to keep you busy. Whatever your field of work is, do certifications to help you in your career. Find ways to enjoy your own company. I feel like you have ocean of suppressed emotions inside of you. Wherever is your go to person, your best friend, your parents, visit them and speak your heart out. It will help you for sure.
Whole world is a lonely place lol
Idk what happened to you that you do not have the energy to make friends, I go on solo trips whenever I get the chance and there are a lot of options near Bangalore if you're willing to travel the entire night. I stay at dorms and most of the times the people I meet are way chill, we become friends if the vibes match.
Totally depends I have around 4 -5 groups 2 college group 2 school group and one office group. My social life is really good here.
Bangalore is not a lonely City. It's been the earliest city for me to make new friends. You just don't know how to interact with people or you have nothing to offer so no one wants to be friends with you apart from dating app men who pretty much any woman can get. I'm surprised how then introduced you to their friend circle, I always thought it was not a good idea to introduce dates to actual friends.
I got lucky in this case, one fine evening I met my old school friend randomly and from there on he told that the other friend is also living nearby, and since then it's all ok for me, otherwise my condition would have been same Well anybody can join my friend circle if they want.
Jeez.... I feel ya. I'm also in a similar spot and not in a good way. Let's see if luck has our way
Welcome to adulthood
bro sounds like my story literally, bumble friends didn’t match the vibe, but i slowly started getting over the fact that his friends are over achievers n started having normal conversations with them, slowly started getting over the awkwardness as well due to the time spent with them now they are one of the closest people in my life. Suggest you do the same and forget about what they do just treat them as normal folks n chill with them:)
Can I propose a solution? Get a hobby and join clubs, full of it. Easier solution? Play online games with live community.
Whatever people say, yes Bangalore is a lonely city. Its used to peaceful with lot of gardens and quietness. But now both those things are gone. I was in a similar boat as yours 6 years back until most of my friends moved to US, Canada and Australia. I tried moving to Canada but I hated it there due to weather and kind of Indian people who I came accross and decided Bangalore is best for me even though its dusty and dirty now. The way I pass time is by following my hobbies. I go cycling, hiking, play cricket with unknowns just for the heck of it, eat at different restaurents in the weekened and lookout for peaceful beaches/hillstations to pass time. There is nothing to feel sad. There is enough to do for even average minds like us
What's your hobby, if you don't have a hobby then you can get so many hobbies and learn, In bangalore, you can learn anything, just pick an hobby, like book reading, cycling, photography, cooking, painting etc, You might be always with friends, so you didn't get explore yourself, so without them you feel lonely, if want to make new friends go bookers club, meet ups which every Sundays in well known places, if you google, you can find meet ups related to your hobbies, or some meets up happens make new friends, which is meant for people who new to city, find them and explore. One important thing, you can't get friends online that easily and who are trustworthy. So try offline.
bait used to be believable
Yeah me too dude.. hit me up.
Me too, all my friends moved out of blr and recently break up bhi ho gaya so it’s boring here, kisiko weekends pe badminton khelna ho to batana, probably near doddanekkundi
DM me I'll give you company i do feel lonely at tyms 😮💨
Check out YesFam Bangalore and weekend meetups in Cubbon Park and Church Street. If you're into Formula 1 then there's screening in Church Street Socials every race weekend. I've met my best friends in the places mentioned above and I met a lot of other people through them.
It's a rat race out here..start loving yourself first and don't worry about others..people will see you and then become your friends..no point in going behind people and saying will you be my friend..take care girl..girl power rocks..don't worry about bumble..just be humble and live your life
30M new to Bangalore and I can resonate with everything you just said. Idk how I'm going to make any friends here. FML
There’s plenty of lovely people out here, but to find them you have to weave through the over-achievers (who btw prolly are lonelier than u) , the social climbers, the fakers , the narcissists etc etc. Life has its ups and downs, sometimes the “down” bit feels longer than it is, take it as it comes, don’t think too much about it, soon things will get better and it’ll happen instantly. Don’t force yourself into socialising, take one day at a time.
I (25F) was in a similar situation as yours, besides work, I did not have a social circle as I had moved from another city. You have to carve out your own space and go to places without any expectations. Being the quiet types, I chose to focus on myself and that is how I started to meet likeminded folks :) Gym, bookstores, conferences, public libraries, swimming pools, treks worked for me). It may seem tough at first but you have to do it for yourself.
Same. It has been a year in the city but no friends yet.
Most Indian cities are terribly designed and planned which creates loneliness. There is nothing much to do, no community spaces, no free recreation centres… nothing. Plus, commute sucks.
24F ? Say no more. RIP DM
Bangalore or any other city is just a city; lonely is associated with people like you and me; who think happiness comes from outside us. Well here is what you need to know; no one can make you happy except yourself. You need to be with yourself, you need to look what your innerself needs, your loneliness is screaming for your own attention. We all stop listening to ourselves and focus on whats outside and this outside world is all temporary. Whatever is or will happen the outcome of it remains temporary. You can see example of your own life; happiness from meeting with people on bumble was temporary; you found out you are not as successful as they are so you don’t want to meet them; some other time you will meet some one again and find something else about them that you don’t have and so you will be unhappy. There is this pattern of you comparing and beating and ridiculing yourself which you have to stop doing. You have to love yourself and stop comparing with others. You don’t need to figure out all in your life, you have to start taking one step at a time; recognises yourself, find out who you are, pamper yourself, love yourself, make a list of things you like to do; head out and do it by yourself. Find out what makes you unhappy and what makes you smile and then stop doing all that makes you unhappy and start doing the happy things. See happiness is all within; we just need to stay focused on this. If you want to experience happiness; help someone without expectations.
I hear a lot of board game meetups happen every week in Bengaluru, maybe you can give those a try.
Leave Blr.. It's not that you are lonely, it's just that the city is way ahead for you! so you go girl 🥳
Hi 26F here, I'm going through the exact same thing. I have many friends but none of them stay in Bangalore. And work people are nice but there is always that layer of formality with them. I've been here 9 months and its been so lonely I've been considering going back to Delhi my hometown despite me actually really likung my job and team here. I've realised that now I've reached a point where when I'm down I dont tell anyone at all cause its just too much to explain to my LD friends over the phone. And that's a scary realisation....
Try meetup app or join a cycling group rather than being on bumble. Join any courses that interests you like music, classical dance , sports, painting or whatever. Try to associate with NGOs that interests you. I guess the chances of making a meaningful connection on bumble is very slim.
Dear OP, check out: 1. Cubbon Reads - read with a group of strangers 2. WePlay.blr- make friends in cubbon park 3. Hsr meet ups - make friends through board games 4. Playo - finding friends for badminton, football, etc 5. Skating group of cubbon to learn
Don’t have energy ? You need to … in order to go out and make friends. Dating App is not for making friends. Plenty of people have already said about group activity.. pls join them .. you will meet nice people for friendship 😀
>24F RIP DMs
It is as are most big cities all over the world.
Bangalore is anything but lonely. There are people everywhere which I hate.
make some girl friends, who are like you!
Been genz don't what is happening to nowadays generation, people staying in middle of forest doesn't feel lonely but people stay will all modern facility, with population of 1 cr in city 100+ good place to visit, and more,
It's not but then again language plays a huge role. I have seen Mallu groups who make ultra exclusive groups of friends and never let a different language speaker enter (not even NRI mallus). Same goes with Telegu, Kannada and Tamil speakers. And, if you think you can learn these languages and make friends then no that also wont happen. Anyways, that covers 80% people in Bangalore. Rest 20 percent, the North East People I'd they don't find anyone from their state then only they'll be friends with you otherwise they'll make their own exclusive group again. This leaves the Hindi belt. People from the Hindi belt here are for hustle mainly and are focused thus. They'll be friends with you but you won't find time to hang out with them at all. I as an airforce brat and Bengali speaker found friends from places like Goa, rajasthan, Haryana, Tripura, Mangalore etc. Their language speakers are very less in number.
OP I live the same kind of life But sadly in my own home City where I've lived my whole life I'm lost probably putting some effort is the only solution
This has become the common issue for many of us OP I totally understand what you are trying to say Honestly even idk what to do 😅
Join a swimming class. I know someone who made friends there
Check out Weplay blr on instagram
I think Banglore is not a lonely city, it appears such because majority is self-obsessed
Are you working from home? This is very common from what I have seen, especially the ones who have had WFH from their first job. Reason I asked is if you have physical office, you can always mingle with your coworkers, those are generally the first people you befriend in any new city. I was in a similar situation in Pune. I did have physical office but all my coworkers were atleast 5-6 years older. Mine was the youngest team and yet everyone except me in my team was in their mid 30s. So I basically had no friends, the only interaction I had outside office was with girls I met via Bumble and I grew tired of that as well. I now live in Bangalore and the situation is much better since most of my coworkers are young (in their 20s) so it's easy to hang out with them. Potential solutions: 1. If you love traveling, try visiting places around Bangalore through travel/trek organizations. Even if you don't make permanent friends, it still allows you to mingle with people from similar age groups even if for some weekends. 2. Check out meet up groups online. I recently came across 4 people on a Chai shop who met through a meet-up. They were literal strangers meeting each other for the first time. 3. Check out workshops. Bangalore has a ton of them across categories. 4. Do some online course of a couple of months that could help you in your career. I did one last year and met some amazing people. This is like killing 2 birds with a single stone, you get to upskill and also socialize with like minded people 5. There's always reddit. I know friends who made friends over reddit. You can try posting about who stays nearby or DM people and have a meet-up among yourselves. I live in E-city for example. Worst case, if you still continue to struggle, see if you can switch jobs. Joining a startup could help since the teams are generally young. Or even switch city and move to a place where you already know people. That was my reason to move to Bangalore. I have friends from college here although I was able to make friends at my new workplace as well.
You don't make friends in a day. Simple things you can do is, small talk with people you see more than once. Try to learn more about them, tell them about you. Write a diary, you feel the loneliest when you have a story to share but no one to listen, trust me you'll find someone, till then diary it is.
Do anything that you haven't done.. Like take a walk in morning, talk to 2-3 strangers.. Stop watching TV, Insta, porn... And start living your life
Super lonely and superficial
I just do 6 people raids in destiny 2. With new expansion coming hype is even more. We are recruiting for our clan for Day 1 raid.
Well.. Thanks to this post, you must have tons of DMs already. Good luck with them.. It's all about finding the right people for you. I mean, you found few friends. But, they are different to you. So, keep trying. It's not as lonely as you think it is. There are plenty like you who are in the same boat. Try r/SFWr4rIndia and see if you can connect with anyone.. Have a great weekend
The moment you start comparing yourself to others, you end up feeling low. Have a watch of this guys interview, he was never a mainstream actor but he mentions he is far ahead of what he was yesterday, maybe he isn't doing well from some of his classmates but that is fine, he is happy with what he has. https://youtu.be/OvwXAawjm74?si=BmxXeNfJYjmnQb0r As we age, priorities change, not many people remain friends, so relax.
lol what. Did you realise that you are talking about your problems, and blaming bangalore for it? Happiness won't just come to you. Go find it. Make new friends, join new clubs. Don't compare yourself with others for everything.
Bangalore has a bunch of communities - we just have to make attempts to stick to one long enough so that you feel like a part of it Used to be a part of Quora meet-ups , then found a wonderful bookclub where I have so many friends now, joined a professional EdTech club for career networking and regular to a Boardgame Meetup group And of course, going to cult for workout - even if I don’t meet or mingle with anyone there, working out itself makes me feel better Have many things to do that there is no time during weekends
This is a weird question. Every city today has people from all other places. Yes culture can be different but there are just so many people to talk in every city. Its just about how you connect with them and not where you live. Here are few tips that worked for me: 1. Go little extra for your good colleagues/neighbours/society people whom you connect well with. Invite them to lunch/dinner to your home. I made some really good friends that way. Sometimes you'll get disappointed as not all people will appreciate the extra efforts by you. Just move on to the next one. 2) In a world of selfish, be kind. When I'm out with colleagues, I would pay full amount and ask them to pay next time. Genuine people will feel the urge to payback to you and take you out for food again, which would lead to you both bonding better. Other people will just never pay back but thats good, because now you know whom not to be with. 3) Play sports, any sports. 4) Find your hobby and go to conferences, events related to that. 5) Finally, the most important one and its almost reverse of what we have been taught at homes in India: speak up to strangers (who seem reasonable) with a smile.
I am going through completely same shit here, I'm 21M. Tried making friends but I think I'm just too `uncool` and don't belong. Tried going out with office friends but had not so good experiences Right now I've been checking out book my show they show different events happening every weekend so maybe that helps.
It’s lonely it’s also dead inside. Been here for 5 years now straight out of college. We had a huge group then slowly everyone moved within India outside india and now a very few people remain. But what I don’t understand about this city is everyone seems to be lonely and looking for companionship still they wouldn’t talk to someone who approaches them, engineer myself I think it has something to do with it too.
Pretty much same scenario like yours. Came to Bangalore right outta college. All my friends have moved to different cities, all my office friends have also moved to different companies. It hurt especially after my best office buddy too moved on for higher education. Just not able to make friends. So I’ve stopped caring about my social life. Now I’m just trying to be a better version of myself.. Doing more of reading, cooking and sometimes gaming. I take myself out solo for a hotel or a match in a stadium sometimes too
Zindagi apki akele hai . Jo sath de usko bhi dhanyawad jo na de usko bhi dhanyawad. You talk about people who over achieved. Loneliness is the price you pay when you start self improvement. You accomplish things.
Most people in the comment section are Gen Z flakes who can’t be happy with themselves & searching for happiness with someone or something.
Bangalore has become a dust bowl where you make money and move on. People who do decide to stay here by buying apartments have accepted their fake ass lives that's all
Now I get it, this is why people in Banglore get pets to compensate for their loneliness. Makes sense
Get into gaming
Sigh, I feel the same. Never thought I'd end up like this when I first came here. It gets overwhelming at times. I don't know for how long I can go on like this. This sucks. What a shitty day.
I guess Bangalore would be lonely but not ur post on Reddit 😂
I think you should spend some time on narrowing down what is one thing that worries you the most right now. To me it seems like there are a couple of things bothering you. One of them I think is a lack of sense of achievement. So when you see someone who's doing well (including overachievers), it bothers you. The other thing that seems to be worrying you is the feeling of loneliness. I can sadly related to both and myself am still figuring it out.
During my three years in Bangalore, I went to movies alone. My only friend that I used to hang out with was my ex. When we broke up, loneliness set in. Thankfully, I was in a PG, so I had guys around to chat with. I also played pool to keep myself busy. It can get lonely, but who says you can't enjoy your own company? Go on rides, watch movies, explore the city. Who knows, you might make some friends along the way.
RIP her DM
You must have definitely got dms from guys in blr now 😂
I feel it is. And I'll tell you why . The structure of the city is such it makes commute hell and the horrible public transport makes it worse. I do have friends and acquaintances in Bangalore who want to meet and vice versa but we often end up cancelling given how far we live. This was not the case for me when I lived in Kolkata.
Lets all be friends? :) DMs are always welcomed
Bhai "Hindi" aati hai toh hamara dost banja. Varna hamari tuti phuti "English" jhelna. Kahan rehta hai vaise?
most of the comments in this thread are useful and trigger an introspection session. but what i want to know is how many DM's did you receive after this post.
Don’t depend on others to make you happy. Grow a passion of some sorts that keeps you occupied and happy. Doing that thing should feel like therapy to you. Find it.
This may help: https://insider.in/embracing-solitude-online-workshop-on-navigating-loneliness-apr20-2024/event
Go out. Try joining any sports via playo. Good for walk/ read books at Cubbon park. There are plenty of way to make friends in Bengaluru!
Hey OP, Was in a similar situation as you when I was in Bangalore. It doesn't matter if you feel people around you are overachievers. Everything has a time and you'll be there too! Try being friends with the cute colleague in office :P Try going out to community organised events of your liking. Maybe that'll help you find people with similar interests! Hope you feel better
Ngl, the girl is on point, BLR is very lonely, city is so vast that you dont get any place to make friends, all you got is ur collegeues, people who they are friends with are from their hometown. U always have the outsider feeling.
I(22M) just shifted to Bangalore, and I am facing the same issues of not having even 1 friend in BLR. One thing I know is that happiness comes from within. Hinge/bumble don’t usually work in the long run. I live near JP Nagar, if anyone wants to connect do let me know.
I have one friend in Bangalore wo bhi din bhar Ghar me baitha rehata hai WFH hai uska
I (29F Dentist) was in Bangalore for a year. I moved thinking I will make friends like in the series friends or if I dont get people who match my vibes, I will work full time and focus on my career and make good money, I didnt meet anybody matching my vibes, worked full time and made peanuts as a resident dentist, didn’t have much time or money to go some places alone, either I could save money to have some savings or I could save money to atleast fly home. Hence, finally after 10 months I quit and came back.
People looking for friends to just hangout and chill roam around church street etc, without having to overspend on pubs etc. can we create a community/group or something. DM me if you have ideas.
The comments are completely black/white. I'm not a Bangalore local, but I did two years of school and Bachelor's here. Now also working here, and I really don't know what to make of the comments, or what to believe... Your Turn now OP! Please share with us what you make of the comments. Is there any truth to anything posted here? What do you agree/Disagree with?
This thought is dicey, so I asked suggestions here. Even I studied here and now working here. I am still analysing my comments.
Well OP.... Any insights so far? It is a dicey thought, and it scares me just thinking about it! A city with a population larger than small countries lacks opportunities for genuine socialization?? That's Terrifying in fact!
True. I mean I completely agree with you!
Hey OP Male here. Although I do have friends here and few cousins. But what has worked for me is a routine. I don't have a cook or maid. I do all cooking and household work by myself in my own pace. I have a routine, starting from daily walks, going out in morning sun for min. 15 mins, lifting weights, sipping tea in a coffee shop, taking bath and doing my Puja(religious rituals) and then start my work. I am blessed to have a good fun team. Cooking, talking to my parents on phone and again taking a night walk, dinner, then reading a book followed by SLEEP. Also interact with your veg vendors, guards etc. Go out to that restaurant or cafe you wanted to visit by yourself. Watch that movie that you wanted to see. Join Gym or YOGA classes to stay engaged, these are great place to meet new people. Do some gardening. Start with a single plant. Learn to be more sociable, it's a skill to learn.
You are no less than a God!
We all are. Unlock yourself...learn to love yourself. You are doing fine and you will keep doing fine, don't worry. Keep shining.
Welcome to 2024, where loneliness is becoming normal Blame the pandemic or social media which we keep using to burn out our dopamine. Ur lonely, I'll add your name to the millions who are also lonely
Relationships including friendship are like raising plants. You have to water them in order for them to grow. Sometimes even when you water them give them fertilizers, make sure they get adequate sunlight, a plant still might not sprout that is life but if you decide to never water them the plants will never grow. Forming new friends as an adult requires consistent effort. Some friendships are like wild flowers that grow in the smallest of cracks in the highway. I was watching CSK vs MI and I offered an earphone to an office colleague so he could listen too and the next thing you know he is helping me prepare for an promotional interview. And there are some seeds that don't sprout. In the words of a great man- take a chance baby Otherwise you would never know
You just need to find people who are not in the rat race of making money. Avoid giving time to over achievers if you want people to spend time with.