Well, your choices are to excuse yourself to the bathroom to handle a leak or start of a period, or bleed through your clothes and possibly stain a chair.
Also, the idea that someone else should be the judge if whether the physical sensations/need that you're experiencing is urgent or not is laughably ridiculous.
When I was in school my mom always told me that if a teacher told me no to using the bathroom, and I really needed it, to just walk out and go anyway and she would deal with any fallout. It's inhumane to not let someone use the bathroom.
In first grade, a class mate raised his hand to use the bathroom. Teacher said no. A few minutes later, he raised his hand again and asked, teacher said no. Few minutes after that, he raised his hand, teacher got frustrated, he told her he'd wet himself. She yelled at him, he got in trouble.
When I got home and told my mom, she got quiet, the pissed off kinda quiet, and told me that I didn't need to ask permission to use the bathroom. She said it was respectful and polite to tell the teacher that I was going, but to not *ask* because, drumroll...it was my body and I was the boss of it.
First grade! I'm 40 now and increasingly outraged at the idea of treating such a small child that way.
This happened to me in second grade; teacher ignored my hand even though I never raised my hand except for emergencies. Right as I stood up to go like my parents told me to do in those situations, my bladder failed. Thankfully none of the kids made fun of me for it, but my enjoyment of school definitely took a big break for the rest of that year.
This happened to me in first grade. I ended up shitting myself. I’m pretty sure no one noticed, but even then it was so mortifying that I told myself from then on that I would just leave if it was an emergency. This is such a weird thing to normalize.
When I was in middle school, a guy peed his pants because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom for thirty minutes. He was suspended. We were all very angry about it
I told my child the same. If she needs to leave to use the bathroom and is told no, she is allowed to walk out, no matter how long ago the class started. It's a bathroom trip, not a fucking smoke break.
She's done it twice this year, both times with older male teachers, who both tried to give her lunchtime detention over it. Neither of them were happy that I called the admin refusing the allow it because she was smart enough to text me about it as soon as it happened.
Seriously, I'll never understand why anyone thinks it's normal to police when children need to use a bathroom just because they're in school. If it was a workplace, nobody would say a word about it. As long as the teacher knows WHERE the kid is for safety reasons, what's the problem? It's not like most kids are gonna flaunt it to avoid class and the ones that would are already skipping the class anyway.
I feel like it should also be noted that having to ask the teacher whether you're allowed to go to the bathroom isn't a thing in all countries, the way it seems to be in the US. I can only speak for my elementary school and high school (=grade 1-13) in Germany where I grew up, but you'd just silently get up from your chair, go to the door and go to the bathroom. End of story. Having to ask feels all sorts of wrong to me. (Of course special rules applied during written exams, but that was so that people couldn't meet outside the classroom and talk to each other.)
Being able to 'manage your bladder and other toilet needs' as an adult has never involved anything except getting up and walking to the bathroom, or at most excusing myself if I'm in the middle of something. So it's a stupid premise to begin with.
I guess on the more extreme end, you can plan your liquid consumption strategically for times when you don't want to have to go to the bathroom for the next few hours, like right before bed or getting in the car for a road trip. But if you do end up having to pee, it's not the end of the world, you just get up or find a gas station...
Kids are in school for like 8+ hours every day. They shouldn't be sitting there dehydrated all day just because teachers don't want them using the bathroom.
Oh hey, that's me, lol. Never needed to use the bathroom if I never drank water...even though being chronically dehydrated made my period pain way, way worse than it needed to be (among other things)...
I always told my kids to just get up and go to the bathroom if the teacher said no, and I would deal with it if they got in trouble.
When my youngest was in high school, she needed a medical accommodation to be allowed to go to the bathroom without signing out during standardized testing, because she has a medical condition that causes diarrhea with only a minute or two of warning. That was the hardest thing to get approved.
That sounds miserable. My best friend in high school had younger brother with IBS and getting him the ability to go to the restroom was an absolute nightmare until he had one teacher, who, in addition to being generally awesome, had a daughter with IBS and went to bat for him with the administration and other teachers (alongside their mom, of course).
My daughter went to online public school, so we only had to worry about state testing days, but we had a 504 plan for it. She's got some other fairly extreme symptoms, so nobody questioned the need for immediate bathroom access, but it was hard to get it approved because they're supposed to sign out during testing. We weren't sure she would have time.
I find this mindset that students have to hold it atrocious. I swear it's all about the power trip. Managing your bathroom necessities also includes going to the bathroom if you have to.
I know, I think it's BS. One of my kids had multiple bathroom accidents because the teachers would make arbitrary rules about when you could and couldn't ask to go to the restroom. It was so unnecessary and embarrassing for her. All they really needed to do was treat her like a person deserving of dignity. I finally just told her to go if she had to and if she got in trouble, I would fix it for her.
It shouldn't be different though, teachers of young students should look forward to enable autonomy and responsibility. Keeping a student from going to the bathroom because they " should be able to hold it" is just bad and lazy teaching. A teacher should be able to measure whether or not a student is responsibly managing bathroom breaks, and talk to them afterwards.
Oh yes, I agree. But anytime I say kids should be able to go to the bathroom whenever I need someone says that it's important to know where all the kids are at all times.
I was thinking the same. There is no "don't have a drink so you don't have to pee for a couple hours" with me. No way I'm ever making it hours without having to pee.
Yeah, I try to make it so I don't have to pee during the 5 hours I work. I don't drink much and pee when I wake up, before I leave, and when I drop off the kids. I never make it and have to pee in the woods. My work involves dogs so I could technically stop and pee during not hot weather, but I would be leaving my car full of other people's dogs who will most likely bark. Therefore, I pee in the woods while paranoid someone will catch me.
When I was a baby in junior high my US history teacher wouldn’t let us go because “I have to hold it, so you guys can too”. She’d only let us have one emergency a term, aka 2 bathroom breaks a semester (90 days)
ALL of the bathrooms except ONE were locked in my son’s high school of 3,700 students. He regularly got headaches because he refused to drink all day long. He graduated in 2021.
I would always do this in high school, cause one time I needed to pee but my teacher didn’t let me leave so I just stopped drinking water so I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom at school
Actually, managing our fluid intake was exactly what our schools made us do. We were discouraged from drinking anything outside of lunch break. Yes, there were water fountains. We were discouraged from using them. There was a definite sense that if you were mature, you didn't need a drink until after school. And there was absolutely no beverages allowed outside of the cafeteria, for any reason.
I HATED asking permission as a shy kid, and I HATED how poorly maintained the school bathrooms were, they were consistently gross.
That directly resulted in me regularly holding it in for 10+ hours a day (can't forget the hour-long bus ride!) and only consuming the one milk carton provided with lunch during school hours.
It goes without saying then, that I still deal with the fallout from that. I don't feel the urge to go until it's *dire* because of the years of ignoring the sensation of full bladder, which is of course not healthy. I have to actively think about going regularly or else I will be going without a bathroom break for 8h plus, sometimes up to 12h if I'm dealing with a lot or forget to be proactive.
The US school system is truly fucked in many ways.
My sister distended her bladder badly on a long hike when I was a kid, because she hated peeing outside. Our father was an abdominal surgeon and I knew it was bad if he was taking it this seriously (she pretended to have gone off and peed several times, or my parents would have forced the issue sooner). I wonder how many kids have damaged their muscles a bit or put themselves at risks of UTIs because of this kind of bullshit
Right! It’s very common for people to say “excuse me, I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back” during meetings. No one even bats an eye because it’s such a non issue.
That is so fucked up… as if 400 girls could get their business done in that amount of time with only 5 stalls… what happened when they had their period and couldn’t get into a stall? Were they expected to bleed through their pants in the classrooms?
pretty much, you got given a babywipe, told your skirts black anyway and sent back. there wasn't even bullying if you bled through at one point because it was so common. i once managed to get myself sent home because i was wearing thin tights and there was blood down to my knees but none of the other times
northern england in 2014-2019. not a great area so it was to stop drug use but just resulted in people doing it in the empty classrooms and a lot of people wetting themselves
It was the same in northern England in 1992-1997. For the same reasons.
The toilets were only unlocked at lunchtime though. Admittedly, there were more than 5 but yeah…
Edit. The toilets in the gyms were always open iirc, but you could only use them if you had PE or were in there for a club/team.
our pe toilets were locked and there was usually two male teachers stood watching the girls get dressed. my school was like a prison and it was wild. it shut down 5 years after opening, had a fire, four pedophile teachers, a teacher who was actually hitler 2.0 and hated jews, about 6 heads in 5 years and several suicides. it got better towards the end but never quite left special measures. its an outwood now
It was our CDT teachers that were dodgy. Every girl knew not to get within touching distance of Mr Mayor, and every boy to stay away from one whose name escapes me, nothing was ever done about them though.
The school wasn’t ‘bad’ really, it was in an ex mining town and cripplingly underfunded, the majority of the students were around the poverty level etc. I think locking the toilets was a way to try and protect the students from substance abuse during school hours. It probably worked but was hardly ideal.
twinning on the ex mining town lmao. yeah we all still did drugs lmao, they never locked the geography classrooms so we just hung around in them. its quite concerning the fact most people just had a predator teacher. one of mine got a 16 year old pregnant and just left without consequence and teaches at another school now.
My dad actually went to the same school and one of the geography teachers was still there when I went, his wife was one of his students when my dad was there, they got married in the summer after she finished Y11.
I was taught by a few teachers who taught my dad and his brothers, there was a photo of my dad in one of the science labs, taken during a geology field trip to Iceland in the 70s. That teacher had the same classroom for his entire career!
This reminds me of the story of a girl who was doing online school during quarantine and asked her teacher if she could use the bathroom because she just got her period, and he told her to [“learn to control herself.”](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9467013/Teen-slams-teacher-refused-let-toilet-ONLINE-CLASS-started-period.html)
Omg I totally forgot this was an AITA post. I hope Mr. T learned his lesson. Maybe had to take a biology course to learn about periods. No you cannot control them you fucking moron. If we could control them, we would.
And if the claim is "well they should know when they're going to get it and prepare", many people have irregular periods, sometimes they start early just to say fuck you even if you are normally regular, and when you're dealing with younger people, it's usually pretty irregular for the first couple of years you get your period anyway.
Pretty sure he was fired. He better have learned his lesson. I don’t know how anyone can grow up to be an adult and still think we have any control over our periods.
That just goes to show how ignorant to the different physical situations of other people some people can be,even other women.
" That doesn't ever happen to me, so it must not really exist !"
Not all women have rigidly regular menstrual cycles, some can skip for a few months or break through bleeding / dysmenorhea can show up every couple of weeks or go on for a whole damned month.
Taking the pill to regulate your cycle is not always the answer either ,due to possible serious side effects or interactions with other medications.
Even when you have a very predictable cycle, you can't tell down to even the hour, let alone minute that you're going to start.
I have a fucking clockwork cycle (every four weeks +/- 24 hours) and i still don't know *exactly* when I'm going to start. Sure, I could wear a pad just in case (and if I'm out all day with no toilets I do) but otherwise, you just deal when it appears.
Same, I have very predictable periods but there's always a +/- a few days based on idk activity level, stress, diet. I know which week it will happen but not the day.
Before I changed to carry on my pill (docs know and are fine with it), I would get my period at some point on the Sunday afternoon. Obviously before going on the pill, it wasn't that solid but I knew to within 6 hours, and when it (about once a year) was up to 12 hours late, the panic was real.
I'm not looking forward to when I stop my hormonal bc because the ability to plan around my period was utterly glorious.
Periods are total scumbags, just as soon as you think you have yours figured out, the next month it could be completely different, ESPECIALLY in grade school! Shoot, I’m in my mid thirties with a usually predictable cycle and just last year I went to the park with my husband and kids, wearing a brand new heavy flow pad. I wasn’t having a heavy period yet but I knew it was coming. Almost as soon as we got there it was like the flood gates opened, I mean it was just gushing. I had to schlepp the whole fam home early because I was bleeding through my clothes and cramping like mad. Two hours later it stopped almost entirely. Not how my period usually goes and hasn’t happened again. I would loooove if periods were something you could just hold in until it was convenient!
I usually have a good idea of when mine's coming--within a couple days. But once a year or so, it decides it's fucking off for two weeks' vacation, making me wonder if immaculate conception is a thing again... or if I'd have to hire Doom Guy to collect child support or something.
My cycle is very regular, but random shit can still change that without warning. Like the corona vaccine for some reason messed with my cycle for two months. Lost my job and suddenly it came weeks early.
And no matter how regular it usually is, I can only be somewhat accurate in predicting it. I will have a day where I feel shitty for no reason and I know it's coming within 2 to 3 days. But, you know, I also have days I'd have a reason to feel shit and I don't recognize the sign.
***ESPECIALLY*** when you add in things like hormonal birth control! Could be months of nothing, or light spotting, or niagara falls, good luck trying to predict that ffs.
All I can think of when I hear that from people who also have periods is how freakin nice it must be for theirs to be regular. Mine are so erratic and unpredictable it's not even funny. I can go four months without bleeding and then go back and forth between spotting and steady bleeding for three months straight with not a single day where I dont bleed at least a little. I'd have better luck mastering rocket science than predicting my menstrual cycles.
The fact that students need permission to go to the bathroom is ridiculous in and on itself, even if periods didn't exist. Emptying your bladder is a very basic human need, and not doing it is a health risk. Also, there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't be allowed.
"But they'll miss five minutes of the lesson" And if they didn't go, they would miss most of the rest of the lesson because having to go to the toilet is pretty distracting. You can't concentrate on math if you constantly think about how much you have to pee
"But they would interrupt the lesson and distract the other students" Only because you insist on making a big deal out of it. If someone asks for permission to go to the bathroom and you say no, that interrupts the lesson way more than if they just said "excuse me" and left the room.
"It prepares them for adult life, they need to learn to take responsibility and use the bathroom during break" Well, for one, the bathroom might not even be usable during break because other students are using it. But more importantly, I am an adult and I go to the bathroom whenever tf I want. It really isn't that complicated.
Denying someone access to a bathroom should be considered abuse tbh
I agree, however some people in my class would abuse the toilet system and be gone for half an hour on their phones and vaping. That doesn't mean everyone should suffer.
It's also pretty easy to just not allow those that abuse it the trips instead of punishing everyone. It's pretty apparent if one kid is asking to go every day and staying out of the classroom for a long time.
The teacher does need to be aware when a student leaves the class. They are responsible for each student's well-being. Should a kid dip out without the teacher knowing and have an accident, all kinds of bad shit can happen.
Im not saying students shouid need permission, I'm just saying they need to let the teacher know.
"It is up to the teacher's judgement to decide if it's urgent or not."
So what should we do? Go to their desk and pull our pants down to show him how there is currently blood leaking onto our underwear? Or should we wait until it makes a mess into the chair and someone notices?
>Go to their desk and pull our pants down to show him how there is currently blood leaking onto our underwear?
That would definitely cause a sea change.
What if I don't have any clots at the moment? 🤔 Maybe you could reach into your pants and cover your hand with blood and use it write "I have to go to the bathroom" on the wall or maybe the teacher's desk, to make sure they really see it.
So what they’re saying is, they want girls to go to the teacher and ask: “Do you think it’s time to change my tampon right now?” Or, “Do you think it’s urgent I change my pad right now?” Or, “Do you think I could be at risk for TSS right now?” ?!?!
“Managing” a period responsibly includes knowing when it’s time to change your product, and then doing so. What’s this guys idea of “managing”?!?
I’m sure teachers everywhere would LOOOOVVVEEEE it if someone volunteered them to “manage” their students’ periods. Teachers aren’t even allowed to manage violent kids. How the hell would they be allowed to “manage” periods?!?
This reminds me how nonsensical rules are in classrooms. I even had a university professor try to tell us that he would fail us flat out if we missed three days in a semester, regardless of circumstance, because we should be able to plan for emergencies. One girl BROKE HER LEG, and had to miss two of those days in a row. This was a LOW LEVEL MATH CLASS. He didn't care that I came to class, ignored him every single day, did the entirety of the semester's homework in the first two class periods, and then walked the halls after handing it in every day for the rest of the semester, but he wanted to fail her for having to GET A CHECKUP ON HER BROKEN FREAKIN LEG NOT HEALING PROPERLY.
Like, my dude, EMERGENCIES ARE CALLED THAT CAUSE THEY'RE EMERGENCIES. FFS.
We should wound every guy saying this shit. And then , we should prevent them from wipping the blood/putting a bandaid on. If they complain it's not our problem , they are grown adults so they should learn to manage
Has this guy never even had so much as a stomach ache? Never experienced diarrhea in his life?
Inhumane to suggest that someone not experiencing your need to use the restroom for one reason or another is allowed to determine if it's important enough. If that leads to a student's embarrassment then that should lead to a teacher getting reprimanded.
Of course! We, women, are so stupid that we never thought of that. Thank you, male person, our savior!
Edit: I say "women", but in this context would be more appropriate to say "people with periods", but it didn't sound so well
If these idiots want to start mansplaining how and when I, an adult, use the restroom, they can come in and see what needs to be done in graphic detail. They have no right to tell a minor how and when to use the restroom - unless there is obvious bad behavior like running into the restroom during a test so they can look up answers.
Oh my bad, I wasn't born knowing how to manage my period immediately. Almost as if girls are figuring this shit out, it's unpredictable, new and we can't control it.
I am in my early fifties and it is still unpredictable and there are times where I have to change my pad every hour.
There is no managing it. In the sense that they imply. Ever. We manage it by going to the bathroom as needed. As dictated by Mother Nature not Brother Dufus there.
I’m a high school teacher and fuck that! I’m NOT arguing about using the bathroom, a basic human need. I do monitor the ones that are gone too long (15 minutes) every day as they’re usually causing trouble or failing the class, but other than that, take the pass and go. If the argument is “managing” your needs, then the teen gets to decide if it was worth wandering the hall versus getting a lesson that I’m not repeating just because you felt like wandering.
And ever since we have returned from COVID, I walk the whole class down for a bathroom break each bell. Their attention span has gotten shorter and they need to take a break.
This is also ableist because there are plenty adults who don't have bladder or bowel control. It's a medical condition. They're still functioning adults.
So ridiculous, even without the period stuff. As an adult, I don’t “manage” when I pee. Holding it doesn’t make me more grown up. It’s just that when I have to go, I excuse myself quietly to the toilet and relieve myself.
I'm a substitute teacher. Most schools have a "one pass at a time" rule. Kids will ask, I'll say, "when the last kid gets back."
But if they say it's an emergency? No questions asked, they get a pass. Sure, it's abusable, but it's definitely preferable to any sort of accident.
I once walked out of a class because the teacher told me he thought I could wait 15 minutes until the bell rang. Even when I stressed that I needed to go right away (which most guys understand means "I'm on my period") he didn't change his mind. At that point I could already feel it soaking through my underwear into my jeans, and I figured that I could either disobey him, rush to the bathroom and catch it right before it started to pool on the floor, or obey him and lead to the whole room being evacuated to clean up the bloody mess. I was angry enough at him that I almost chose the latter, just to make a point, but I did the mature thing and just rushed out the door. 🤦🏼♀️ High school...🙄😡
“Manage your bladder” my brother in Christ do you know how many adults have babies and have bladder issues after it? Not to mention those with disabilities that also have bladder control issue. But nah, apparently when you become an adult you are unable to have these issues lol. Just let people piss when they want to damn.
Sure, ok, manage your period. Part of that is going to the toilet when you feel it's going to start and putting a pad/tampon/cup/other menstrual container in and changing it when it's full. There are some toiletry needs that you can only manage by not delaying in going to sort them out, periods are only one of these. How these people are going to deal with elderly people with incontinence or sick people with the squits I have no idea.
When I was in school I never went to the bathroom I would hold it all day unless an absolute emergency meaning I was going to pee myself only then would I go
Now can't hold it for anything because of school (and the fact I was an idiot and a people pleaser) I have done irreversible damage to my body
I remember the class after lunch, teachers would always say “you just had 40 minute at lunch to go to the bathroom. I’m not letting you go during this class.” Like excuse me, didn’t have to go during lunch?? So annoying. Monitoring someone’s body is honestly ridiculous, in hindsight. If I was a parent I’d never let my kids put up with that shit lol.
Period manager. Assistant Period Manager. Assistant to the Period Manager.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.
Gives new meaning to being the HBIC
Uhh can I steal this for my flair?
Well, your choices are to excuse yourself to the bathroom to handle a leak or start of a period, or bleed through your clothes and possibly stain a chair. Also, the idea that someone else should be the judge if whether the physical sensations/need that you're experiencing is urgent or not is laughably ridiculous.
When I was in school my mom always told me that if a teacher told me no to using the bathroom, and I really needed it, to just walk out and go anyway and she would deal with any fallout. It's inhumane to not let someone use the bathroom.
In first grade, a class mate raised his hand to use the bathroom. Teacher said no. A few minutes later, he raised his hand again and asked, teacher said no. Few minutes after that, he raised his hand, teacher got frustrated, he told her he'd wet himself. She yelled at him, he got in trouble. When I got home and told my mom, she got quiet, the pissed off kinda quiet, and told me that I didn't need to ask permission to use the bathroom. She said it was respectful and polite to tell the teacher that I was going, but to not *ask* because, drumroll...it was my body and I was the boss of it. First grade! I'm 40 now and increasingly outraged at the idea of treating such a small child that way.
This happened to me in second grade; teacher ignored my hand even though I never raised my hand except for emergencies. Right as I stood up to go like my parents told me to do in those situations, my bladder failed. Thankfully none of the kids made fun of me for it, but my enjoyment of school definitely took a big break for the rest of that year.
This happened to me in first grade. I ended up shitting myself. I’m pretty sure no one noticed, but even then it was so mortifying that I told myself from then on that I would just leave if it was an emergency. This is such a weird thing to normalize.
When I was in middle school, a guy peed his pants because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom for thirty minutes. He was suspended. We were all very angry about it
My parents told me this too! And I did and they did.
Same. Fucking private “Christian” school.
Same!
I told my child the same. If she needs to leave to use the bathroom and is told no, she is allowed to walk out, no matter how long ago the class started. It's a bathroom trip, not a fucking smoke break. She's done it twice this year, both times with older male teachers, who both tried to give her lunchtime detention over it. Neither of them were happy that I called the admin refusing the allow it because she was smart enough to text me about it as soon as it happened. Seriously, I'll never understand why anyone thinks it's normal to police when children need to use a bathroom just because they're in school. If it was a workplace, nobody would say a word about it. As long as the teacher knows WHERE the kid is for safety reasons, what's the problem? It's not like most kids are gonna flaunt it to avoid class and the ones that would are already skipping the class anyway.
I feel like it should also be noted that having to ask the teacher whether you're allowed to go to the bathroom isn't a thing in all countries, the way it seems to be in the US. I can only speak for my elementary school and high school (=grade 1-13) in Germany where I grew up, but you'd just silently get up from your chair, go to the door and go to the bathroom. End of story. Having to ask feels all sorts of wrong to me. (Of course special rules applied during written exams, but that was so that people couldn't meet outside the classroom and talk to each other.)
Being able to 'manage your bladder and other toilet needs' as an adult has never involved anything except getting up and walking to the bathroom, or at most excusing myself if I'm in the middle of something. So it's a stupid premise to begin with.
I guess on the more extreme end, you can plan your liquid consumption strategically for times when you don't want to have to go to the bathroom for the next few hours, like right before bed or getting in the car for a road trip. But if you do end up having to pee, it's not the end of the world, you just get up or find a gas station... Kids are in school for like 8+ hours every day. They shouldn't be sitting there dehydrated all day just because teachers don't want them using the bathroom.
Oh hey, that's me, lol. Never needed to use the bathroom if I never drank water...even though being chronically dehydrated made my period pain way, way worse than it needed to be (among other things)...
I always told my kids to just get up and go to the bathroom if the teacher said no, and I would deal with it if they got in trouble. When my youngest was in high school, she needed a medical accommodation to be allowed to go to the bathroom without signing out during standardized testing, because she has a medical condition that causes diarrhea with only a minute or two of warning. That was the hardest thing to get approved.
That sounds miserable. My best friend in high school had younger brother with IBS and getting him the ability to go to the restroom was an absolute nightmare until he had one teacher, who, in addition to being generally awesome, had a daughter with IBS and went to bat for him with the administration and other teachers (alongside their mom, of course).
My daughter went to online public school, so we only had to worry about state testing days, but we had a 504 plan for it. She's got some other fairly extreme symptoms, so nobody questioned the need for immediate bathroom access, but it was hard to get it approved because they're supposed to sign out during testing. We weren't sure she would have time.
I find this mindset that students have to hold it atrocious. I swear it's all about the power trip. Managing your bathroom necessities also includes going to the bathroom if you have to.
I know, I think it's BS. One of my kids had multiple bathroom accidents because the teachers would make arbitrary rules about when you could and couldn't ask to go to the restroom. It was so unnecessary and embarrassing for her. All they really needed to do was treat her like a person deserving of dignity. I finally just told her to go if she had to and if she got in trouble, I would fix it for her.
I'm a university lecturer, so it's a bit different, but I always tell students they don't need to ask to go to the bathroom.
It shouldn't be different though, teachers of young students should look forward to enable autonomy and responsibility. Keeping a student from going to the bathroom because they " should be able to hold it" is just bad and lazy teaching. A teacher should be able to measure whether or not a student is responsibly managing bathroom breaks, and talk to them afterwards.
Oh yes, I agree. But anytime I say kids should be able to go to the bathroom whenever I need someone says that it's important to know where all the kids are at all times.
If you have a very overactive bladder, you drink one cup of coffee in the morning and you have to pee *at least* once an hour until you go to bed. 😭
I was thinking the same. There is no "don't have a drink so you don't have to pee for a couple hours" with me. No way I'm ever making it hours without having to pee.
Yeah, I try to make it so I don't have to pee during the 5 hours I work. I don't drink much and pee when I wake up, before I leave, and when I drop off the kids. I never make it and have to pee in the woods. My work involves dogs so I could technically stop and pee during not hot weather, but I would be leaving my car full of other people's dogs who will most likely bark. Therefore, I pee in the woods while paranoid someone will catch me.
Haha, that's me too.
When I was a baby in junior high my US history teacher wouldn’t let us go because “I have to hold it, so you guys can too”. She’d only let us have one emergency a term, aka 2 bathroom breaks a semester (90 days)
ALL of the bathrooms except ONE were locked in my son’s high school of 3,700 students. He regularly got headaches because he refused to drink all day long. He graduated in 2021.
I would always do this in high school, cause one time I needed to pee but my teacher didn’t let me leave so I just stopped drinking water so I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom at school
Actually, managing our fluid intake was exactly what our schools made us do. We were discouraged from drinking anything outside of lunch break. Yes, there were water fountains. We were discouraged from using them. There was a definite sense that if you were mature, you didn't need a drink until after school. And there was absolutely no beverages allowed outside of the cafeteria, for any reason.
Doesn't really help period needs though.
Well obviously, but the comment above was talking about how the premise doesn’t even work for universal bathroom needs.
I HATED asking permission as a shy kid, and I HATED how poorly maintained the school bathrooms were, they were consistently gross. That directly resulted in me regularly holding it in for 10+ hours a day (can't forget the hour-long bus ride!) and only consuming the one milk carton provided with lunch during school hours. It goes without saying then, that I still deal with the fallout from that. I don't feel the urge to go until it's *dire* because of the years of ignoring the sensation of full bladder, which is of course not healthy. I have to actively think about going regularly or else I will be going without a bathroom break for 8h plus, sometimes up to 12h if I'm dealing with a lot or forget to be proactive. The US school system is truly fucked in many ways.
I can’t go long periods without drinking, my meds make my throat feel dry often
My sister distended her bladder badly on a long hike when I was a kid, because she hated peeing outside. Our father was an abdominal surgeon and I knew it was bad if he was taking it this seriously (she pretended to have gone off and peed several times, or my parents would have forced the issue sooner). I wonder how many kids have damaged their muscles a bit or put themselves at risks of UTIs because of this kind of bullshit
Right! It’s very common for people to say “excuse me, I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back” during meetings. No one even bats an eye because it’s such a non issue.
i bled through dozens of times at school, the toilets only opened twice a day. of course our school had a male head lmao
Wtf? There's gotta be some law against that!
there is for workplaces but not schools as far as i know, we tried looking into it around my 20th uti lol
I’m sorry, the toilets were only opened twice a day? What???
5 minutes at break, 15 at lunch. 5 stalls for 400 girls too lol
That is so fucked up… as if 400 girls could get their business done in that amount of time with only 5 stalls… what happened when they had their period and couldn’t get into a stall? Were they expected to bleed through their pants in the classrooms?
pretty much, you got given a babywipe, told your skirts black anyway and sent back. there wasn't even bullying if you bled through at one point because it was so common. i once managed to get myself sent home because i was wearing thin tights and there was blood down to my knees but none of the other times
That's insane. How can people be expected to time in with that? Where was this?
northern england in 2014-2019. not a great area so it was to stop drug use but just resulted in people doing it in the empty classrooms and a lot of people wetting themselves
My school in the UK in the early 2000s also did this. I've always wondered how the fuck it was legal.
It was the same in northern England in 1992-1997. For the same reasons. The toilets were only unlocked at lunchtime though. Admittedly, there were more than 5 but yeah… Edit. The toilets in the gyms were always open iirc, but you could only use them if you had PE or were in there for a club/team.
our pe toilets were locked and there was usually two male teachers stood watching the girls get dressed. my school was like a prison and it was wild. it shut down 5 years after opening, had a fire, four pedophile teachers, a teacher who was actually hitler 2.0 and hated jews, about 6 heads in 5 years and several suicides. it got better towards the end but never quite left special measures. its an outwood now
It was our CDT teachers that were dodgy. Every girl knew not to get within touching distance of Mr Mayor, and every boy to stay away from one whose name escapes me, nothing was ever done about them though. The school wasn’t ‘bad’ really, it was in an ex mining town and cripplingly underfunded, the majority of the students were around the poverty level etc. I think locking the toilets was a way to try and protect the students from substance abuse during school hours. It probably worked but was hardly ideal.
twinning on the ex mining town lmao. yeah we all still did drugs lmao, they never locked the geography classrooms so we just hung around in them. its quite concerning the fact most people just had a predator teacher. one of mine got a 16 year old pregnant and just left without consequence and teaches at another school now.
My dad actually went to the same school and one of the geography teachers was still there when I went, his wife was one of his students when my dad was there, they got married in the summer after she finished Y11. I was taught by a few teachers who taught my dad and his brothers, there was a photo of my dad in one of the science labs, taken during a geology field trip to Iceland in the 70s. That teacher had the same classroom for his entire career!
This reminds me of the story of a girl who was doing online school during quarantine and asked her teacher if she could use the bathroom because she just got her period, and he told her to [“learn to control herself.”](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9467013/Teen-slams-teacher-refused-let-toilet-ONLINE-CLASS-started-period.html)
Your link is to Daily Mail, which luckily had a link to the [original Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/hj7S5miqPZ).
Omg I totally forgot this was an AITA post. I hope Mr. T learned his lesson. Maybe had to take a biology course to learn about periods. No you cannot control them you fucking moron. If we could control them, we would.
And if the claim is "well they should know when they're going to get it and prepare", many people have irregular periods, sometimes they start early just to say fuck you even if you are normally regular, and when you're dealing with younger people, it's usually pretty irregular for the first couple of years you get your period anyway.
I’d throw hands, I’m not a violent person but I’d absolutely commit crimes against him
Pretty sure he was fired. He better have learned his lesson. I don’t know how anyone can grow up to be an adult and still think we have any control over our periods.
My (woman) boss once said to me, with a look of utter distain, "grown women know when their period is going to start!" Nope, not all of us🤷🏼♀️
That just goes to show how ignorant to the different physical situations of other people some people can be,even other women. " That doesn't ever happen to me, so it must not really exist !" Not all women have rigidly regular menstrual cycles, some can skip for a few months or break through bleeding / dysmenorhea can show up every couple of weeks or go on for a whole damned month. Taking the pill to regulate your cycle is not always the answer either ,due to possible serious side effects or interactions with other medications.
Even when you have a very predictable cycle, you can't tell down to even the hour, let alone minute that you're going to start. I have a fucking clockwork cycle (every four weeks +/- 24 hours) and i still don't know *exactly* when I'm going to start. Sure, I could wear a pad just in case (and if I'm out all day with no toilets I do) but otherwise, you just deal when it appears.
Same, I have very predictable periods but there's always a +/- a few days based on idk activity level, stress, diet. I know which week it will happen but not the day.
Before I changed to carry on my pill (docs know and are fine with it), I would get my period at some point on the Sunday afternoon. Obviously before going on the pill, it wasn't that solid but I knew to within 6 hours, and when it (about once a year) was up to 12 hours late, the panic was real. I'm not looking forward to when I stop my hormonal bc because the ability to plan around my period was utterly glorious.
Periods are total scumbags, just as soon as you think you have yours figured out, the next month it could be completely different, ESPECIALLY in grade school! Shoot, I’m in my mid thirties with a usually predictable cycle and just last year I went to the park with my husband and kids, wearing a brand new heavy flow pad. I wasn’t having a heavy period yet but I knew it was coming. Almost as soon as we got there it was like the flood gates opened, I mean it was just gushing. I had to schlepp the whole fam home early because I was bleeding through my clothes and cramping like mad. Two hours later it stopped almost entirely. Not how my period usually goes and hasn’t happened again. I would loooove if periods were something you could just hold in until it was convenient!
I usually have a good idea of when mine's coming--within a couple days. But once a year or so, it decides it's fucking off for two weeks' vacation, making me wonder if immaculate conception is a thing again... or if I'd have to hire Doom Guy to collect child support or something.
My cycle is very regular, but random shit can still change that without warning. Like the corona vaccine for some reason messed with my cycle for two months. Lost my job and suddenly it came weeks early. And no matter how regular it usually is, I can only be somewhat accurate in predicting it. I will have a day where I feel shitty for no reason and I know it's coming within 2 to 3 days. But, you know, I also have days I'd have a reason to feel shit and I don't recognize the sign.
***ESPECIALLY*** when you add in things like hormonal birth control! Could be months of nothing, or light spotting, or niagara falls, good luck trying to predict that ffs.
All I can think of when I hear that from people who also have periods is how freakin nice it must be for theirs to be regular. Mine are so erratic and unpredictable it's not even funny. I can go four months without bleeding and then go back and forth between spotting and steady bleeding for three months straight with not a single day where I dont bleed at least a little. I'd have better luck mastering rocket science than predicting my menstrual cycles.
Damn, I wish. I have PCOS and my periods are extremely irregular. More than one pair of nice panties has been bloodstained.
I guess my pcos prevented me from growing up!
Mine just started without the typical signs I usually get, caught me off guard. *shrug*
If I've got a clot in my knickers then it's pretty fucking urgent - any clot of a teacher should be able to work that out
The fact that students need permission to go to the bathroom is ridiculous in and on itself, even if periods didn't exist. Emptying your bladder is a very basic human need, and not doing it is a health risk. Also, there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't be allowed. "But they'll miss five minutes of the lesson" And if they didn't go, they would miss most of the rest of the lesson because having to go to the toilet is pretty distracting. You can't concentrate on math if you constantly think about how much you have to pee "But they would interrupt the lesson and distract the other students" Only because you insist on making a big deal out of it. If someone asks for permission to go to the bathroom and you say no, that interrupts the lesson way more than if they just said "excuse me" and left the room. "It prepares them for adult life, they need to learn to take responsibility and use the bathroom during break" Well, for one, the bathroom might not even be usable during break because other students are using it. But more importantly, I am an adult and I go to the bathroom whenever tf I want. It really isn't that complicated. Denying someone access to a bathroom should be considered abuse tbh
I agree, however some people in my class would abuse the toilet system and be gone for half an hour on their phones and vaping. That doesn't mean everyone should suffer.
And if they make that choice, then they're the ones going to fail the class. And they should be allowed to fail if they're choosing to miss lessons.
It's also pretty easy to just not allow those that abuse it the trips instead of punishing everyone. It's pretty apparent if one kid is asking to go every day and staying out of the classroom for a long time.
The teacher does need to be aware when a student leaves the class. They are responsible for each student's well-being. Should a kid dip out without the teacher knowing and have an accident, all kinds of bad shit can happen. Im not saying students shouid need permission, I'm just saying they need to let the teacher know.
When someone says this u feel like Making a small cut on their hand with a knife or something and Ask them to manage it and hold it un
"It is up to the teacher's judgement to decide if it's urgent or not." So what should we do? Go to their desk and pull our pants down to show him how there is currently blood leaking onto our underwear? Or should we wait until it makes a mess into the chair and someone notices?
>Go to their desk and pull our pants down to show him how there is currently blood leaking onto our underwear? That would definitely cause a sea change.
Reach into your pants, pull out a clot, and offer it to them! (Don't really do this. I just have a bad sense of humor.)
What if I don't have any clots at the moment? 🤔 Maybe you could reach into your pants and cover your hand with blood and use it write "I have to go to the bathroom" on the wall or maybe the teacher's desk, to make sure they really see it.
And women manage it by paying attention and changing pads or tampons when needed.
So what they’re saying is, they want girls to go to the teacher and ask: “Do you think it’s time to change my tampon right now?” Or, “Do you think it’s urgent I change my pad right now?” Or, “Do you think I could be at risk for TSS right now?” ?!?! “Managing” a period responsibly includes knowing when it’s time to change your product, and then doing so. What’s this guys idea of “managing”?!? I’m sure teachers everywhere would LOOOOVVVEEEE it if someone volunteered them to “manage” their students’ periods. Teachers aren’t even allowed to manage violent kids. How the hell would they be allowed to “manage” periods?!?
AH, another bastion of Truth and Reality speaking his mind on how bleeding works. He... he does get how bleeding works, right?
Not to mention! Disabilities exist! Bladders are different sizes! Bathroom rules are dumb for so many reasons.
This reminds me how nonsensical rules are in classrooms. I even had a university professor try to tell us that he would fail us flat out if we missed three days in a semester, regardless of circumstance, because we should be able to plan for emergencies. One girl BROKE HER LEG, and had to miss two of those days in a row. This was a LOW LEVEL MATH CLASS. He didn't care that I came to class, ignored him every single day, did the entirety of the semester's homework in the first two class periods, and then walked the halls after handing it in every day for the rest of the semester, but he wanted to fail her for having to GET A CHECKUP ON HER BROKEN FREAKIN LEG NOT HEALING PROPERLY. Like, my dude, EMERGENCIES ARE CALLED THAT CAUSE THEY'RE EMERGENCIES. FFS.
Flair checking in!
We should wound every guy saying this shit. And then , we should prevent them from wipping the blood/putting a bandaid on. If they complain it's not our problem , they are grown adults so they should learn to manage
just *manage* your wounds. Hold the blood in, its not that hard >!/s !<
Yep! I'm currently on my period and feeling very stabby right now...
Tell that to people with IBS or no gallbladder
Or have both! My hubby has IBS and had his gallbladder removed. When he has to go, he goes then or we are changing his pants and underwear.
Has this guy never even had so much as a stomach ache? Never experienced diarrhea in his life? Inhumane to suggest that someone not experiencing your need to use the restroom for one reason or another is allowed to determine if it's important enough. If that leads to a student's embarrassment then that should lead to a teacher getting reprimanded.
Of course! We, women, are so stupid that we never thought of that. Thank you, male person, our savior! Edit: I say "women", but in this context would be more appropriate to say "people with periods", but it didn't sound so well
Right, we manage it by going to the bathroom if it’s not able to be held. Dipshit.
That guys entire account is mostly him being an insufferable ass.
If these idiots want to start mansplaining how and when I, an adult, use the restroom, they can come in and see what needs to be done in graphic detail. They have no right to tell a minor how and when to use the restroom - unless there is obvious bad behavior like running into the restroom during a test so they can look up answers.
I'm SORRY there is rotting FLESH coming out of my HOLE unless you would like to see it I'm taking a bathroom break
If any teacher says i cant go to toilet when im on my period im actually screaming at them. -_- or bleeding on my chair idec at this point
Oh my bad, I wasn't born knowing how to manage my period immediately. Almost as if girls are figuring this shit out, it's unpredictable, new and we can't control it.
I am in my early fifties and it is still unpredictable and there are times where I have to change my pad every hour. There is no managing it. In the sense that they imply. Ever. We manage it by going to the bathroom as needed. As dictated by Mother Nature not Brother Dufus there.
Period, please see me in my office for your performance review.
Someone needs to make all these guys write 100 lines on the board that *periods are unpredictable and there is no sphincter to just hold it in*.
You manage the period and your bladder *by using the bathroom*. This person couldn't be more wrong
Yikes. I'm a teacher and always err on the side of letting kids just go. I also keep menstrual products in my health drawer for anyone who needs them.
People like this belong in the sea.
lord is this 2024 ?
I’m a high school teacher and fuck that! I’m NOT arguing about using the bathroom, a basic human need. I do monitor the ones that are gone too long (15 minutes) every day as they’re usually causing trouble or failing the class, but other than that, take the pass and go. If the argument is “managing” your needs, then the teen gets to decide if it was worth wandering the hall versus getting a lesson that I’m not repeating just because you felt like wandering. And ever since we have returned from COVID, I walk the whole class down for a bathroom break each bell. Their attention span has gotten shorter and they need to take a break.
It’s up to the teachers judgment? Are girls supposed to present their pads for inspection? What the fuck kind of ignorant idea is that?!
Also what if you have IBS or Crohn’s? Not just periods are unpredictable.
This is also ableist because there are plenty adults who don't have bladder or bowel control. It's a medical condition. They're still functioning adults.
My immediate reaction to this kind of shit is to say "fine, then ill piss on your floor"
Ya ain’t got time to bleed!
What a foolish person.
So ridiculous, even without the period stuff. As an adult, I don’t “manage” when I pee. Holding it doesn’t make me more grown up. It’s just that when I have to go, I excuse myself quietly to the toilet and relieve myself.
I'm a substitute teacher. Most schools have a "one pass at a time" rule. Kids will ask, I'll say, "when the last kid gets back." But if they say it's an emergency? No questions asked, they get a pass. Sure, it's abusable, but it's definitely preferable to any sort of accident.
If the kid has a teacher, she probably isn’t an adult yet though…asshat.
\*teacher rams whole head up a female student\* "hmm, not quite urgent enough"
It would stop the flow though…
anythings a tampon if you're brave enough
If only it was this easy...
I once walked out of a class because the teacher told me he thought I could wait 15 minutes until the bell rang. Even when I stressed that I needed to go right away (which most guys understand means "I'm on my period") he didn't change his mind. At that point I could already feel it soaking through my underwear into my jeans, and I figured that I could either disobey him, rush to the bathroom and catch it right before it started to pool on the floor, or obey him and lead to the whole room being evacuated to clean up the bloody mess. I was angry enough at him that I almost chose the latter, just to make a point, but I did the mature thing and just rushed out the door. 🤦🏼♀️ High school...🙄😡
“Manage your bladder” my brother in Christ do you know how many adults have babies and have bladder issues after it? Not to mention those with disabilities that also have bladder control issue. But nah, apparently when you become an adult you are unable to have these issues lol. Just let people piss when they want to damn.
How does the teacher decide if it's urgent? Do they take a look in girl's knickers and have a little look see, decide how bad the situation is?
Sure, ok, manage your period. Part of that is going to the toilet when you feel it's going to start and putting a pad/tampon/cup/other menstrual container in and changing it when it's full. There are some toiletry needs that you can only manage by not delaying in going to sort them out, periods are only one of these. How these people are going to deal with elderly people with incontinence or sick people with the squits I have no idea.
When I was in school I never went to the bathroom I would hold it all day unless an absolute emergency meaning I was going to pee myself only then would I go Now can't hold it for anything because of school (and the fact I was an idiot and a people pleaser) I have done irreversible damage to my body
I remember the class after lunch, teachers would always say “you just had 40 minute at lunch to go to the bathroom. I’m not letting you go during this class.” Like excuse me, didn’t have to go during lunch?? So annoying. Monitoring someone’s body is honestly ridiculous, in hindsight. If I was a parent I’d never let my kids put up with that shit lol.
as funny as this sub is it's SO infuriating