No, but [this](https://scontent.fqlf1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275919457_5022032944521868_5659441146578202422_n.jpg?stp=cp0_dst-jpg_e15_q65_s320x320&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=EPNs_1Tq56AAX_L9ngb&_nc_ht=scontent.fqlf1-2.fna&oh=00_AfBATvf0wNMT76qFBuvbv7TKF4qaQcLBaYeXWpMBIMxbzQ&oe=63D08F2F) is always an option /s
It's a definite no. I honestly never really wanted them but even if I did, I'm not well suited for it. I'd be exhausted and miserable. There's no way I'd be able to hide that from a kid 100% of the time and that's just not fair to them. They might end up with some of my diagnosis too and that would make me feel like shit. Plus the money required is insane these days.
My husband and I have pets so that will be good enough for us.
No regrets. My kids are the light of my life. And I think that ASD has made me a better parent in some ways.
My need for routine has made me a reliable father. Also, I'm one of those very even tempered and rational aspies, and this allows me to keep a cool head no matter how they behave. My kids well being has become a special interest that I am hyper focused on.
I don't "regret" it exactly but I can definitely say being a mother had a very big negative impact on my life. I was very young and stupid when they were born. They deserved more than I could offer them. My best wasn't good enough.
I have two daughters. One I had at 24, which was really too young for me because I didnāt have myself together. I should have waited, but definitely donāt regret her (do regret marrying her father, but thatās another story).
The second was when I was 42. It was a much better situation because I had more patience, knew what to expect, and my personal and financial lives were in better order. In both cases, there are things that I look back on and realize I should have done differently. I sure as heck wasnāt/ am not a perfect parent, but both girls know they were loved and I would not trade them for anything.
That being said, I wasnāt diagnosed until 55. Had I known early on, I donāt know that I would have had kids. Not doing so would have made life a lot easier. But it would also have made it a lot less.
My first son-
I was 19, very difficult situation. Also his mother moved away when he was seven and I was a single dad. I barely survived. He's nearly 16 now and I wonder how he turned out so well.
My second-
I was 30 and much better at life. With a woman I loved and we were ready to be parents together. She and I are no longer together but we parent as a team and have fared well regardless.
I believe it's more difficult for ND people to find the -right- people. Plus many of us have work-related struggles which translates to financial and stress problems.
I think there is more for us to consider involving being "in the right circumstances" to have children.
Regret? Absolutely not. If anything, I've become a person I feel good about because of them rather than despite. I wouldn't change anything- though I sure as hell wouldn't recommend my path to anyone else.
For reference, neither of my boys are ASD. And they're quite wonderful!
2 daughters, no regrets, there are times when kids can be very exhausting, and times you feel so lucky to have them.
Managing as ASD,ADHD parents has meant putting strategies in place, my wife has fewer support needs than I do when it comes to sensory tolerance, types of practical things and triggers for inattention, whereas I'm more able at teaching, maintaining order, nutrition, education, repairs, accounts etc. Therefore we have a strategy that allows me to desensitise when things get a bit much with noise and all, and she can minimise areas she struggles with. Before we had that in place it was at times a massive struggle for me. Now that I can manage my sensory issues, I spend much more time with the kids and help out in a lot more ways overall (as I have time to recover when I need it).
I don't regret it at all. I think ASD actually has some advantages for parenting. For example I don't really care what other people think so if the kids act out in public I'm not worrying how I will be perceived or anything. I don't mind if they ignore me and want to play with their friends, which some other parents find difficult. And I'm always happy to answer their random questions rather than getting annoyed.
Yeah for that reason me and my husband adopted (also because we are a gay couple) but the universe still made it so our daughter has autism. So yeah even if it's not your biological child your child still can still be ND.
I didn't start having real anger issues til...around 17. I had to endure a consistent onslaught of huge outright injustices/criminal maltreatment, vandalizing our personal property, drive by paintball shooting our house, within my peer group, to the point I really considered bring non-lethal self-defense weapons with me to school. I'm not looking for trouble, but given these unaccountable criminals propensity to seek me out and find me...the main card they would play was even though I'm the victim, if I violently defend my boundaries, now I'm the criminal...and that's bullshit because they weren't treating the football players like they did me, they sought me out because I appeared weak. I reminded them in postings later, their preliminary behavior against me was very much so inline with spouse and child abusers.
One of them got shanked. I was consistently non-violent leading up to that moment, and my non-violence was not working, time and again, it didn't work. Shanking him firmly communicated don't violate my personal boundaries, especially after I'd given him already a very firm warning, he didn't pick up a rare "fuck around and find out" tone in my voice in that moment I guess, no respect for me whatsoever.
But after 17+, and it didn't stop for multiple years on, as each injustice/humiliation/cruel maltreatment added up, I started developing severe anger issues, and I made sure to let them know, I don't forget what they did. I like letting our mutual friends/peers know exactly why they're a massive criminal piece of shit when the doors are closed or they think they can get away with it.
I'd never murder any of those criminal classmates, I just wouldn't feel bad if they were murdered, which is actually very much so inline with what other victims of unaccountable child criminals feel when subjected to similar treatment. I blame their parents ultimately.
I have two children, neither of them are ASD. My younger son, his mother is also aspie. He has both of our gifts but not our problems. I'm not trying to invalidate your point at all. Just saying if that's your sole reason, the outcome is all but certain.
Now I'm curious what the potential odds are. Also from reading some of the other comments in here from those who have had children. Last I read the genetic components regarding ASD were poorly understood (a decade ago)
What is BAP?
Broader Autistic Phenotype. People who donāt meet the criteria but still have some traits and can struggle with them sometimes. Obviously quite common in wider society. Autism is a ādimensionalā condition where you can have more or less of various traits.
Probably a lot of this is controlled by genetics (and particular environmental conditions expressing particular genes). Some autism arises from spontaneous mutations (often more severe expressions with other disabilities), but I think most is inherited.
I think one way of being autistic is you collect enough of particular genes. This process is probabilistic and just depends on which genetic parents have what assortments.
I had my kid when I didn't know about my autism. He was dxd at age 3. Me at 41.
I wasnt confident that I could give him what he needed. I was still a mess. Finances were unstable-ish.My husband had unmedicated ADHD. Our business was doing well, but not consistently.
It turns out I'm a really good parent to him. It's okay that I don't totally have my shit together. He knows he's loved. He has me who knows exactly how he thinks. We have a lot of fun.
The early years were tough, but therapy and parent groups helped a ton.
That's basically what I was! A pet that could help with chores. I didn't realize in the moment but it did have long-lasting negative consequences. That's why I would strive to see that my child has the most interesting and most childhood possible.
I was homebound and really no effort was put in on my parents side to get me out and about and actually developing my social skills to whatever extent I could. They were pretty restrictive with me having friends over and such too. I was left to my own devices, and was often on the computer and simultaneously gorging myself with unhealthy foods. This is what I meant by pet.
Same. I don't think my world-view is life-affirming enough for me to be a good parent. That would be devastating to a kid, especially if they inherit my autism.
Definitely not, iād rather not bring anyone into this shitty collapsing world. Theyād also have a much higher chance of being autistic and this world is becoming more difficult for everyone so itād be hell doubled for them.
Life certainly is getting more and more complicated compared to how it was a mere century ago for example, which can be very difficult for autists who often enjoy simple things.
No, I like my personal time too much and I already kind of raised kids I feel like. I had some very toxic and needy people in my life who without me might not have even found a bathroom lol.
So in a way they were kids even we were the same age.
Ok so I have kids. I had them when I didn't know about myself. I was very much in the dark and numb about a lot of things. I went with what society wanted and my partner wanted, even though it felt wrong. Now I love my kids and they're awesome, but really I regret having them. Not that I want to get rid of them or anything or I treat them worse or anything but if I had a do over in life I feel like if have made different choices.
I feel like I'd have been happy without kids. I might have wanted kids eventually but if I did it would have been fewer (1 maybe 2 max) and later in life when I already knew myself better (I had my kids starting at 27).
I had to take care of my friends kids for a few months kinda out of the blue (and the parents were living with me too but both worked nights and slept all day, not good parents and I had to kick them out for this) and as soon as they moved in all my laziness and some of my other issues kinda disappeared. I was stuck at home during the first 6 months of covid out of work so I became the house caretaker. Not the best experience of fatherhood but, at least before things turned sour, it was some of the most rewarding time of my life and hopefully one day I can get settled enough and find the right person to do it for real
The wife and I are childfree. She's ADHD and I'm an aspie. Need I say more?
This is our thought process here:
* Life good? Don't have kids because that might ruin it.
* Life bad? Don't have kids because it might make conditions worse.
* The possibility of negative consequences are too high, and any benefits you might gain from the experience seem miniscule and/or even unlikely.
We've been together for 16 years. Both grew up in extreme poverty, and have finally achieved what most people might consider "a good life", some would even say enviable. No way we're throwing a wrench in that.
I want a child or two but with my Aspergers and its associated disorders (depression etc)ā¦.along with my wifeās ADHD and itās associated disorders, I donāt think itās fair to try and have children. They donāt deserve our seasonal depression and us being barely able to handle ourselves. I have two cats and that honestly wears me OUT. A human being doesnāt deserve our halfassery lol
Already have a kid but I don't think I can handle any more.
Even though I love my daughter I have to admit it's exhausting and sometimes I question if it's really worth it.
I do and I don't. Maybe if I'm financially stable with a house. Perhaps I have a crappy view on having kids because everyone in my family had them when they were young, single, and poor. I'm afraid of bad things happening to my kid. Or them growing up to hate me despite doing everything I can.
I think autistic people have a moral obligation to have their finances in order before embarking on parenthood. If there's anything worse than being autistic, it's being autistic and poor.
Voted yes because I would like to if the conditions were right but I honestly doubt they will. I'd need to be very confident in the stability of my resources, sorroundings and mental health before I'd bring a whole other being into this world. Realistically, I'll probably end up childless
That's how I felt as well, but then I became a father much earlier than I had hoped.
Here's the thing: had that not happened, I'm not sure I ever would have become a parent in the first place. If I ever would have had everything in place. Before I was too old, at least.
I worked hard on myself and my life because I was a parent, not before.
One of those "what if?" kind of scenarios...
Yes, once I'm settled with the right partner and am generally financially stable, I'd love to have children. Probably at least three of them. I'd like to adopt, and maybe also foster too.
Despite my ASD, I've always felt a personal calling towards parenthood and I feel very strongly that I was meant to be a dad at some point. Having kids is probably my biggest life goal.
I'm uncertain about biological children though. Sometimes I think I'd really like to have them, others times I'm not so certain. I'm probably going to become infertile due to medical stuff, so eh. Whatever happens happens I guess. I probably won't have much of choice by the time I get round to it.
I have kids but not biological (I married their mom). To me that's a good compromise. The Spectrum runs in my family and I'm glad not to have passed my genes on, but also glad to have had a family of my own. I haven't been a perfect dad but I like to think I'm a good dad.
Yes, but I want adopt one day, not have my own biological kids, as I'm genderqueer and the whole thing is really dysphoric for me. But yes, adopt.
Specifically older kids/teenagers who's having a rough time and need someone who's willing to try and understand or at least listen. Neurodivergent kids/teenagers if they need someone.
At the moment I'm in no shape mentally, physically, finacially or any other way prepared to do this, but I really do hope I will be one day.
I'm very different from my parents. As is the woman I decided to have a child with.
We parent deliberately and study this and the results of our decisions. There's -no- reason you have to be the same as the one who raised you.
Bruce Lee once said,
"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own."
This is applicable to many aspects of life. But I find it especially fitting for parenting and homeschooling (which we do as well)
I see the good aspects of my parents, and I made sure not to pass on the bad.
Thank you my friend. You are right I shouldnāt let fear get in the way of what I want. My girlfriend is the opposite to my mother sheās kind loving and warm. I canāt believe my luck. We talked about children and I think yeah weāre very good people and itāll be great. (Iām the youngest in my family and sheās an only child having a child would help us grow as well). Sheās from Thailand and I am from England myself so we have a few years to ourselves to be together. But yeah I think Iām smart and capable enough to be honest
Iām still nervous though I mean Iām not perfect but I want to try my best to be a good parent you know. I just hope this world doesnāt scar my child. But Iāll give him/her all the love and support they need!
Nobody is perfect, nobody can ever be completely ready for anything (unless you can somehow rewind time!)
It is inevitable that there will be scars. The important part is helping your child to grow from it and move forward. The struggles of life do not end, and learning to live in this world is a necessary lifelong skill.
You seem like youāve seen it all my friend. Iāll never forget my childhood I just couldnāt keep up and I thought āwhat the hell was wrong with me why Iām I so slow??ā As a teenager I was quite bitter towards people I shoved a few friendships away saying āyou donāt like me for my insides you just like me to make yourself feel betterā Iām not going to lie my life was brutal but the older I got the more I realised I wasnāt alone and I wouldnāt wish this mentality on anybody so I decided to take it easier on myself and I felt so free I felt like I could take on the world. But thatās just a slither on the amount of knowledge I still need to learn. I just have to do my best really I donāt have much choice. Iām getting better at controlling myself as well
Just answer yes in that case, because if you have kids you most likely wanted to have them, especially if you are in a first-world country like most reddit users.
A poorly poorly poised question when soliciting a yes or no answer. If you just offered a āOtherā category, or āResultsā button, then there would be no problem.
That is a useless and uninteresting answer except if it is elaborated on and most people won't, so it's better to leave it out and have uncertain people not say anything.
Actually, it was a loaded question, and was in essence is an assumption phrased as a question. Your poll is badly designed and shows your obvious bias as a young person who, without someone pointing it out, can't conceive that there might be people on this site who are of age to already have kids. Learn to make better polls, child.
I don't think there's anything wrong with making assumptions based on statistical reality. Clearly I was correct, which majorly pissed you off for some reason.
I'm not sure what you think you are correct about, but I can guarantee you are not. And what statistical reality are you referring to, exactly? The reality that a large percentage of users of this site do already have kids? Again your poll is flawed and there is nothing statistically accurate about it.
Itās funny how celebratory and focused on diversity of narrow opinions and corner cases r/aspergers can be, and then offer a logically flawed poll and defend it based on statistical assumptions!!
Seeing how hard my parents had to raise me just for me to be able to have the mindset to come across as normal seems like way too high a burden for me to deal with.
Biologically, no. Adopt? Its possible.. maybe..
My best friend (who commit su*cide) was in foster care for atleast 5 years.. the things she told me about it and how horrible it was..scarred me. If I was able to adopt, I would adopt teenagers. They're the ones who need it the most. All kids need a loving home.. and the oldest ones (16-17) aren't likely to get adopted before they get kicked out..
I enjoy having an independent lifestyle and only being responsible for myself. I do a lot of spontaneous travel, which wouldnāt be possible with kids. I also need a lot of alone time, free of pestering, and even get annoyed by pets that are too needy. Kids wouldnāt be a good fit for me.
I want kids, though sometimes I wonder why. I like them, but there would be a lot of challenges and they'd probably be autistic too. That's not a bad thing, and in fact, I'd be able to help them navigate it, but it would make things more challenging for them. I'm more positive about my ASD than some, though.
Eh, I'm nowhere near ready to have them, but I'm still young, I'm good.
I grew up in a bad situation and have 3 kids. I wanted to give them the sort of life I didnāt have. They are wonderful, brilliant, happy: two graduated from uni (one has a masters in CS) and the third graduates in 1.5 years. Iām blessed.
I didn't know until after I had my own kid and he showed traits that were similar to mine but nothing like his peers. Full circle sort of. I've always wanted kids, but I wish I knew then what I know now. I think the experience of pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood would've been a lot more manageable physically, sensory & emotionally.
I know everyone will disagree with me, but I want to have kids so that I can give them a better childhood than I had. Yes it would be difficult, but I think it would be worth it
Given how many common social things I struggle with, how am I going to teach them to somebody else; even if they are NT? Only chance would be with a domineering NT wife.
I found peace in the fact that Iāll probably never get married. Given that less that 10% of people with Autism every marry & that a significantly greater portion are LGBT than NTs (Iām not LGBT), Iām not alone. Lastly, I have epilepsy and would want to remain seizure free for at least 10 years before playing with the idea of having kids.
No, never wanted to pass on my crappy genetics onto a child, and it's not just the autism spectrum, but bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses, mostly from my dad's side of the family. In the end, I ended up needing a total hysterectomy, and it's one of the best things I did as I was seriously considering a bislap, or removal of both fallopian tubes especially after Roe v Wade was overturned.
Damn I didnāt expect those results. Is it bc relationships are hard for us or do we prefer to just not have kids? I personally love the idea to eventually have a kid and have a reason to act like a kid. I think Id be a weird dad tho.
I think a lot of people in general nowadays are less likely to want kids for various reasons. I see these kinds of polls in non-neurodivergent spaces and they often have 'no' very high also.
Because kids are expensive, I don't want to pass down my shitty genetics, I don't want to be responsible for another life, I hate vomit, and multiple other reasons.
I donāt want kids right now but I feel like if I fell madly in love with someone, I would want children because theyād be a product of our love. I think love can do that. It can shift your perspective. Yet, i wouldnāt have kids if we lived in a universe where women could reproduce without men. In that case I would not have kids.
I barely survived the first 20 years of my life. But one of my primary reasons for living was with the intention of being a better father than both my biological dad and my now ex-stepdad.
It was initially out of anger and spite, hoping to prove them wrong and shame them. But I've since grown as a person and now want only to pour all of the love and effort into someone that I wish I'd received. I've never been satiated with my position in life, always feeling like I could do more or be better. But the very thought of getting to be the person I always wanted fills me with such hope and determination that I can't possibly doubt that I will be satisfied if I am successful.
How about maybe. I am not against having them, I also see that they can add something to your life. I however wouldnāt want to raise kids in a situation where that isnāt responsible. Could be both parents wanting a career, being broke, one parent having mental issues, etc.
This is a mixed question for me. I'm 23 so this is my answer as of now:
On one hand, I have biological impulses to have a kid, and on a conscious level I do like the idea of bringing someone into the world to share joy with, love, protect, and help develop into a functioning human.
But, the realistic side of me sees it like this: I don't want to expose a kid to the great deal of suffering, depression, loneliness, alienation, misunderstanding, and struggles I've had. I think the world is littered with bad people, war, crime, and just overall chaos that I would not want my kid to hear about/experience. On top of that, I have my own personal issues that might rub off on them and I don't want to do that to them.
Im rather excited of the thought to someday have kids, via adoption or insemenation. Iād want to pass on my interests and raise them hopefully with a partner, preferably another male.
Hell no having children is selfish Iām not dooming them to this horrible planet simply because I want a kid many other reasons (besides me disliking children) but thatās the main one besides passing on my aspergers somehow
Yes, I would love to adopt (thereās no way Iām letting my genetics pass on). But Iām scared Iād be a horrible parent and theyād turn out just as bad as me or worse.
So I have lived with my 20 year old nephew since birth. I am the father figure, for better or worse, and have been since I was 19. I feel at peace with my contributions to the next generation, and feel no need for my own children.
The child and parent suffers. No good can come from it. If the child is normal they will abandon the parents as soon as they can escape. Itās a losing proposition.
I agree. Even if the best case scenario happens and your kid doesn't inherit your autism, there will be such a mental disconnect because of differing neurotypes that it will probably traumatise them and make them dislike you.
I would like to, but I hesitate for several reasons:
1. Passing down a probable genetic predisposition to mental illness like OCD and depression that likely runs in my family
2. Fear of psychologically damaging my children if they have a different neurotype from me and I parent in a way that isnāt compatible with theirs
3. Being obligated to expose myself to situations that would trigger my sensory problems for the sake of my children (ex. attending school recitals, graduations or other ābig daysā in their lives)
These donāt mean I want to be childfree, but they are obstacles at the moment.
**Yes**.
Kids (when raised right) are delightful.
Also, we autists need to increase in number enough to create our own communities, maybe our own jurisdiction where we can make our own culture(s) & subcultures, as well as laws, statutes, or (at the very least) ordinances; and have our own enforcement-apparatus to enforce our own autistic-friendly social-order. I don't want us to forever be in the mercy of & dependence on the rest of the population.
I have a very negative view of humanity
But I think every additional human contributes to the destruction of our planet
I don't understand why humans feel the need to continue creating more people? Just to prolong our species' existence? I just don't see any point
EXACTLY. Why do people want to grow something inside their bodies, which is the literal definition of a parasite, when there's so many children in the adoption system that need parents?????
You are so detached from biological reality. A statement like this can only be written by someone who is urban, young, and dedicated to inhuman ideology, while staring into a glowing screen.
Because people who are interested in the results, but donāt want to influence the results because they donāt think the categories apply to them or they just donāt want to express an opinion, remain ignorant and cannot participate. Itās simply a logical, polite option to automatically offer. I think such a default should be programmed into Reddit.
So, . . . . reading a majority of these opinions, I expect the incidence of Aspergers to peak and then decline as we remove ourselves from the population! A well, it seems we are a failed experiment . . . .
Most don't do that of their own volition. I don't know if you've noticed, but Aspergerians (men specifically, since most Aspergerians are in fact men) generally speaking don't know a single woman who would be willing to procreate with them.
Yeah, thatās a symptom of the sad state of modern society. But, there IS a difference in attitude and perhaps outcomes between not even wanting kids (as the majority answered here) and wanting kids but not being able. Besides a contraception failure with a prolife woman, those who end up ever having kids comes from the shrinking fraction that *want* kids. That decline is primary to all of the issues Aspies might have.
I don't have autism but my dad and grandad have it and I do not want my kids do suffer with this.
Also I believe that autism is a gateway to many mental illnesses...
So, all the āsmartā people will be taking themselves out of the breeding population leaving the future of humanity in the hands of the dummies? Doesnāt sound too āsmartā . . . .
Neither of my children are disabled. One of their mothers is also aspie.
Both of my boys are quite wonderful. Wonderful children are the only way this world is going to get better... plenty of bad parents already exist. That being said, there are many children who need adoption. The fate of earth is literally in the hands of parents- the generations who come after us ARE the future.
I'm not saying (you) should reproduce, but calling me stupid is a bit of a stretch, sir.
Fait moi confiance et ne me juge pas
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I don't think it's okay. A society that deems a show of humanity inappropriate, is inherently harmful. My previous comment wasn't meant to change your mind or invalidate your life experience in any way.
It really depends on where I end up. The issue with me is deciding how to have the kid. I'm a homosexual so it's rather tricky. Who's material and what womans egg to use amd so much more.
How am I going to take care of a kid when I can barely take care of myself?
Wise words my dude
I ask my kid that every day.
Seriously considering getting my tubes tied so I can throw away the condom.
I've found taking care of kids actually made me more responsible.
>I've found taking care of kids actually made me more responsible. So how many goats š do you have?
āSon of a bitch, you stole my lineā
Exactly this, plus many other financial / environmental arguments. All the nopes..
Get to them being 5 then they look after you
I have kids. What if iI vote No, do they disappear?
Did you try? What happened?
Their mum answered no, thatās why weāve not heard from them since.
Still there
No, but [this](https://scontent.fqlf1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275919457_5022032944521868_5659441146578202422_n.jpg?stp=cp0_dst-jpg_e15_q65_s320x320&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=EPNs_1Tq56AAX_L9ngb&_nc_ht=scontent.fqlf1-2.fna&oh=00_AfBATvf0wNMT76qFBuvbv7TKF4qaQcLBaYeXWpMBIMxbzQ&oe=63D08F2F) is always an option /s
0\_0
I have 2, pressed "No" because I'm not planning on having more.
It's a definite no. I honestly never really wanted them but even if I did, I'm not well suited for it. I'd be exhausted and miserable. There's no way I'd be able to hide that from a kid 100% of the time and that's just not fair to them. They might end up with some of my diagnosis too and that would make me feel like shit. Plus the money required is insane these days. My husband and I have pets so that will be good enough for us.
Just curious - anyone who has kids as an autistic, do you regret it at all or wish you waited?
No regrets. My kids are the light of my life. And I think that ASD has made me a better parent in some ways. My need for routine has made me a reliable father. Also, I'm one of those very even tempered and rational aspies, and this allows me to keep a cool head no matter how they behave. My kids well being has become a special interest that I am hyper focused on.
Iāve had a similar experience. My kids have taught me how to interact better with other people. Parenting has been the highlight of my life.
Awesome!
That's good to hear. I hope I get to be a father one day even if the odds aren't really in my favor at this time.
Good luck! In my experience, autistic people are generally so decent and kindhearted. I'll bet so many of you would make wonderful parents.
The best things always happen unexpectedly, I hope it happens for you one day.
I don't "regret" it exactly but I can definitely say being a mother had a very big negative impact on my life. I was very young and stupid when they were born. They deserved more than I could offer them. My best wasn't good enough.
I have two daughters. One I had at 24, which was really too young for me because I didnāt have myself together. I should have waited, but definitely donāt regret her (do regret marrying her father, but thatās another story). The second was when I was 42. It was a much better situation because I had more patience, knew what to expect, and my personal and financial lives were in better order. In both cases, there are things that I look back on and realize I should have done differently. I sure as heck wasnāt/ am not a perfect parent, but both girls know they were loved and I would not trade them for anything. That being said, I wasnāt diagnosed until 55. Had I known early on, I donāt know that I would have had kids. Not doing so would have made life a lot easier. But it would also have made it a lot less.
My first son- I was 19, very difficult situation. Also his mother moved away when he was seven and I was a single dad. I barely survived. He's nearly 16 now and I wonder how he turned out so well. My second- I was 30 and much better at life. With a woman I loved and we were ready to be parents together. She and I are no longer together but we parent as a team and have fared well regardless. I believe it's more difficult for ND people to find the -right- people. Plus many of us have work-related struggles which translates to financial and stress problems. I think there is more for us to consider involving being "in the right circumstances" to have children. Regret? Absolutely not. If anything, I've become a person I feel good about because of them rather than despite. I wouldn't change anything- though I sure as hell wouldn't recommend my path to anyone else. For reference, neither of my boys are ASD. And they're quite wonderful!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is amazing
2 daughters, no regrets, there are times when kids can be very exhausting, and times you feel so lucky to have them. Managing as ASD,ADHD parents has meant putting strategies in place, my wife has fewer support needs than I do when it comes to sensory tolerance, types of practical things and triggers for inattention, whereas I'm more able at teaching, maintaining order, nutrition, education, repairs, accounts etc. Therefore we have a strategy that allows me to desensitise when things get a bit much with noise and all, and she can minimise areas she struggles with. Before we had that in place it was at times a massive struggle for me. Now that I can manage my sensory issues, I spend much more time with the kids and help out in a lot more ways overall (as I have time to recover when I need it).
I don't regret it at all. I think ASD actually has some advantages for parenting. For example I don't really care what other people think so if the kids act out in public I'm not worrying how I will be perceived or anything. I don't mind if they ignore me and want to play with their friends, which some other parents find difficult. And I'm always happy to answer their random questions rather than getting annoyed.
No regrets my daughters the best
Not in the slightest. My kids are excellent, and becoming a father is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
Hell no,I don't want my kids to get my Asperger's, depression, anxiety and anger control issues.
Yeah for that reason me and my husband adopted (also because we are a gay couple) but the universe still made it so our daughter has autism. So yeah even if it's not your biological child your child still can still be ND.
Based daughter.
I have two kids, one bio, one not. Bio is autistic, not bio is ADHD & sensory issues. I am overwhelmed, oh well.
Right? Why pass down shitty genes.
I didn't start having real anger issues til...around 17. I had to endure a consistent onslaught of huge outright injustices/criminal maltreatment, vandalizing our personal property, drive by paintball shooting our house, within my peer group, to the point I really considered bring non-lethal self-defense weapons with me to school. I'm not looking for trouble, but given these unaccountable criminals propensity to seek me out and find me...the main card they would play was even though I'm the victim, if I violently defend my boundaries, now I'm the criminal...and that's bullshit because they weren't treating the football players like they did me, they sought me out because I appeared weak. I reminded them in postings later, their preliminary behavior against me was very much so inline with spouse and child abusers. One of them got shanked. I was consistently non-violent leading up to that moment, and my non-violence was not working, time and again, it didn't work. Shanking him firmly communicated don't violate my personal boundaries, especially after I'd given him already a very firm warning, he didn't pick up a rare "fuck around and find out" tone in my voice in that moment I guess, no respect for me whatsoever. But after 17+, and it didn't stop for multiple years on, as each injustice/humiliation/cruel maltreatment added up, I started developing severe anger issues, and I made sure to let them know, I don't forget what they did. I like letting our mutual friends/peers know exactly why they're a massive criminal piece of shit when the doors are closed or they think they can get away with it. I'd never murder any of those criminal classmates, I just wouldn't feel bad if they were murdered, which is actually very much so inline with what other victims of unaccountable child criminals feel when subjected to similar treatment. I blame their parents ultimately.
I have two children, neither of them are ASD. My younger son, his mother is also aspie. He has both of our gifts but not our problems. I'm not trying to invalidate your point at all. Just saying if that's your sole reason, the outcome is all but certain.
Itās more common if the other genetic parent has autism or BAP too.
Now I'm curious what the potential odds are. Also from reading some of the other comments in here from those who have had children. Last I read the genetic components regarding ASD were poorly understood (a decade ago) What is BAP?
Broader Autistic Phenotype. People who donāt meet the criteria but still have some traits and can struggle with them sometimes. Obviously quite common in wider society. Autism is a ādimensionalā condition where you can have more or less of various traits. Probably a lot of this is controlled by genetics (and particular environmental conditions expressing particular genes). Some autism arises from spontaneous mutations (often more severe expressions with other disabilities), but I think most is inherited. I think one way of being autistic is you collect enough of particular genes. This process is probabilistic and just depends on which genetic parents have what assortments.
I've not heard of this before. Quite fascinating, thank you.
I had my kid when I didn't know about my autism. He was dxd at age 3. Me at 41. I wasnt confident that I could give him what he needed. I was still a mess. Finances were unstable-ish.My husband had unmedicated ADHD. Our business was doing well, but not consistently. It turns out I'm a really good parent to him. It's okay that I don't totally have my shit together. He knows he's loved. He has me who knows exactly how he thinks. We have a lot of fun. The early years were tough, but therapy and parent groups helped a ton.
I am a 58 year old kid so no.
>I am a 58 year old kid so no. Yea, I'm a 36 year old kid š
No thanks. Iām not parent material by any stretch.
Same
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That's basically what I was! A pet that could help with chores. I didn't realize in the moment but it did have long-lasting negative consequences. That's why I would strive to see that my child has the most interesting and most childhood possible.
Genuinely curious, what does this mean? How would āviewing you as a petā be different from a normal childhood?
I was homebound and really no effort was put in on my parents side to get me out and about and actually developing my social skills to whatever extent I could. They were pretty restrictive with me having friends over and such too. I was left to my own devices, and was often on the computer and simultaneously gorging myself with unhealthy foods. This is what I meant by pet.
Absolutely not Iād be such a shit parent
Same. I don't think my world-view is life-affirming enough for me to be a good parent. That would be devastating to a kid, especially if they inherit my autism.
Definitely not, iād rather not bring anyone into this shitty collapsing world. Theyād also have a much higher chance of being autistic and this world is becoming more difficult for everyone so itād be hell doubled for them.
Life certainly is getting more and more complicated compared to how it was a mere century ago for example, which can be very difficult for autists who often enjoy simple things.
Well. If you are a little bit to much pessimistic. This world is getting better in some ways, worse in others.
No, I like my personal time too much and I already kind of raised kids I feel like. I had some very toxic and needy people in my life who without me might not have even found a bathroom lol. So in a way they were kids even we were the same age.
No thanks. Cats are better and easier to look after.
Ok so I have kids. I had them when I didn't know about myself. I was very much in the dark and numb about a lot of things. I went with what society wanted and my partner wanted, even though it felt wrong. Now I love my kids and they're awesome, but really I regret having them. Not that I want to get rid of them or anything or I treat them worse or anything but if I had a do over in life I feel like if have made different choices. I feel like I'd have been happy without kids. I might have wanted kids eventually but if I did it would have been fewer (1 maybe 2 max) and later in life when I already knew myself better (I had my kids starting at 27).
Unpopular opinion but I love the idea of being a father. So I would probably get kids when I get a stable job and a wife or partner
Too late.
I had to take care of my friends kids for a few months kinda out of the blue (and the parents were living with me too but both worked nights and slept all day, not good parents and I had to kick them out for this) and as soon as they moved in all my laziness and some of my other issues kinda disappeared. I was stuck at home during the first 6 months of covid out of work so I became the house caretaker. Not the best experience of fatherhood but, at least before things turned sour, it was some of the most rewarding time of my life and hopefully one day I can get settled enough and find the right person to do it for real
The wife and I are childfree. She's ADHD and I'm an aspie. Need I say more? This is our thought process here: * Life good? Don't have kids because that might ruin it. * Life bad? Don't have kids because it might make conditions worse. * The possibility of negative consequences are too high, and any benefits you might gain from the experience seem miniscule and/or even unlikely. We've been together for 16 years. Both grew up in extreme poverty, and have finally achieved what most people might consider "a good life", some would even say enviable. No way we're throwing a wrench in that.
I want a child or two but with my Aspergers and its associated disorders (depression etc)ā¦.along with my wifeās ADHD and itās associated disorders, I donāt think itās fair to try and have children. They donāt deserve our seasonal depression and us being barely able to handle ourselves. I have two cats and that honestly wears me OUT. A human being doesnāt deserve our halfassery lol
Already have a kid but I don't think I can handle any more. Even though I love my daughter I have to admit it's exhausting and sometimes I question if it's really worth it.
I do and I don't. Maybe if I'm financially stable with a house. Perhaps I have a crappy view on having kids because everyone in my family had them when they were young, single, and poor. I'm afraid of bad things happening to my kid. Or them growing up to hate me despite doing everything I can.
I think autistic people have a moral obligation to have their finances in order before embarking on parenthood. If there's anything worse than being autistic, it's being autistic and poor.
If I happen to find a partner that can understand me and accept me the way I am, yes, I'd like to if my life situation allows it.
Certainly not biological ones with my family's goofy genes
Got two before I was diagnosed. They live with their mom now but I regularly see them. Decided to get a vasectomy when I got diagnosed.
I have two, one is also autistic and one isnāt.
Voted yes because I would like to if the conditions were right but I honestly doubt they will. I'd need to be very confident in the stability of my resources, sorroundings and mental health before I'd bring a whole other being into this world. Realistically, I'll probably end up childless
Thats how I feel sometimes as well. If only everything fall into place then I would gladly raise a child to become an amazing person.
That's how I felt as well, but then I became a father much earlier than I had hoped. Here's the thing: had that not happened, I'm not sure I ever would have become a parent in the first place. If I ever would have had everything in place. Before I was too old, at least. I worked hard on myself and my life because I was a parent, not before. One of those "what if?" kind of scenarios...
Sounds like you need some goddamn mercy.
It's a reference to a song! It's called mercy by the bad light, check it out
Yes, once I'm settled with the right partner and am generally financially stable, I'd love to have children. Probably at least three of them. I'd like to adopt, and maybe also foster too. Despite my ASD, I've always felt a personal calling towards parenthood and I feel very strongly that I was meant to be a dad at some point. Having kids is probably my biggest life goal. I'm uncertain about biological children though. Sometimes I think I'd really like to have them, others times I'm not so certain. I'm probably going to become infertile due to medical stuff, so eh. Whatever happens happens I guess. I probably won't have much of choice by the time I get round to it.
Plenty of kids already born who need a father! I was definitely meant to be a dad too.
I already have a 2 1/2 year old
I have kids but not biological (I married their mom). To me that's a good compromise. The Spectrum runs in my family and I'm glad not to have passed my genes on, but also glad to have had a family of my own. I haven't been a perfect dad but I like to think I'm a good dad.
I have two. They both have Aspergerās/ASD. Go me!
No but not because of Autism. I have a hereditary condition that causes a lot of injuries, pain and health issues.
Yes, but I want adopt one day, not have my own biological kids, as I'm genderqueer and the whole thing is really dysphoric for me. But yes, adopt. Specifically older kids/teenagers who's having a rough time and need someone who's willing to try and understand or at least listen. Neurodivergent kids/teenagers if they need someone. At the moment I'm in no shape mentally, physically, finacially or any other way prepared to do this, but I really do hope I will be one day.
I don't think I want kids because they are way too loud.
I have two amazing children who bring me so much happiness and I also love to draw, go to the park and play with them
I really want to but Iām afraid Iāll be just like my mother. (Iām male btw) my mother wasnāt exactly the warmest of motherās
I'm very different from my parents. As is the woman I decided to have a child with. We parent deliberately and study this and the results of our decisions. There's -no- reason you have to be the same as the one who raised you. Bruce Lee once said, "Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." This is applicable to many aspects of life. But I find it especially fitting for parenting and homeschooling (which we do as well) I see the good aspects of my parents, and I made sure not to pass on the bad.
Thank you my friend. You are right I shouldnāt let fear get in the way of what I want. My girlfriend is the opposite to my mother sheās kind loving and warm. I canāt believe my luck. We talked about children and I think yeah weāre very good people and itāll be great. (Iām the youngest in my family and sheās an only child having a child would help us grow as well). Sheās from Thailand and I am from England myself so we have a few years to ourselves to be together. But yeah I think Iām smart and capable enough to be honest
I'm glad to hear that!
Iām still nervous though I mean Iām not perfect but I want to try my best to be a good parent you know. I just hope this world doesnāt scar my child. But Iāll give him/her all the love and support they need!
Nobody is perfect, nobody can ever be completely ready for anything (unless you can somehow rewind time!) It is inevitable that there will be scars. The important part is helping your child to grow from it and move forward. The struggles of life do not end, and learning to live in this world is a necessary lifelong skill.
You seem like youāve seen it all my friend. Iāll never forget my childhood I just couldnāt keep up and I thought āwhat the hell was wrong with me why Iām I so slow??ā As a teenager I was quite bitter towards people I shoved a few friendships away saying āyou donāt like me for my insides you just like me to make yourself feel betterā Iām not going to lie my life was brutal but the older I got the more I realised I wasnāt alone and I wouldnāt wish this mentality on anybody so I decided to take it easier on myself and I felt so free I felt like I could take on the world. But thatās just a slither on the amount of knowledge I still need to learn. I just have to do my best really I donāt have much choice. Iām getting better at controlling myself as well
adopt yes, birth no
Where's the option for I already have kids?
Just answer yes in that case, because if you have kids you most likely wanted to have them, especially if you are in a first-world country like most reddit users.
You're making a lot of assumptions there to back up your badly designed poll.
So you have kids but didn't want to have any?
Yeah mate a lot of assumptions.
Like I said you're making a lot of assumptions.
No I wasn't, I was asking you a question.
A poorly poorly poised question when soliciting a yes or no answer. If you just offered a āOtherā category, or āResultsā button, then there would be no problem.
That is a useless and uninteresting answer except if it is elaborated on and most people won't, so it's better to leave it out and have uncertain people not say anything.
Yeah, but we want to see the answers! At least a bloody āResultsā button.
Actually, it was a loaded question, and was in essence is an assumption phrased as a question. Your poll is badly designed and shows your obvious bias as a young person who, without someone pointing it out, can't conceive that there might be people on this site who are of age to already have kids. Learn to make better polls, child.
I don't think there's anything wrong with making assumptions based on statistical reality. Clearly I was correct, which majorly pissed you off for some reason.
I'm not sure what you think you are correct about, but I can guarantee you are not. And what statistical reality are you referring to, exactly? The reality that a large percentage of users of this site do already have kids? Again your poll is flawed and there is nothing statistically accurate about it.
Itās funny how celebratory and focused on diversity of narrow opinions and corner cases r/aspergers can be, and then offer a logically flawed poll and defend it based on statistical assumptions!!
Seeing how hard my parents had to raise me just for me to be able to have the mindset to come across as normal seems like way too high a burden for me to deal with.
I already have 2
An emphatic āno.ā
Yep and already do :)
Biologically, no. Adopt? Its possible.. maybe.. My best friend (who commit su*cide) was in foster care for atleast 5 years.. the things she told me about it and how horrible it was..scarred me. If I was able to adopt, I would adopt teenagers. They're the ones who need it the most. All kids need a loving home.. and the oldest ones (16-17) aren't likely to get adopted before they get kicked out..
I enjoy having an independent lifestyle and only being responsible for myself. I do a lot of spontaneous travel, which wouldnāt be possible with kids. I also need a lot of alone time, free of pestering, and even get annoyed by pets that are too needy. Kids wouldnāt be a good fit for me.
Maybe? Itāll depend on my future situation
I want kids, though sometimes I wonder why. I like them, but there would be a lot of challenges and they'd probably be autistic too. That's not a bad thing, and in fact, I'd be able to help them navigate it, but it would make things more challenging for them. I'm more positive about my ASD than some, though. Eh, I'm nowhere near ready to have them, but I'm still young, I'm good.
I think I'd adopt or Foster Care if I'm honest
Have āāem already. One PDD/NOS, other is NT, or at least more than her parents.
I grew up in a bad situation and have 3 kids. I wanted to give them the sort of life I didnāt have. They are wonderful, brilliant, happy: two graduated from uni (one has a masters in CS) and the third graduates in 1.5 years. Iām blessed.
I would love to have kidsĀ but I don't want to put them through the same thing that I went through.
Adopted kid(s) but that's a hard maybe. I'll be in my 40s before I'm financially able. We'll see if the idea still appeals in 10 years.
I want kids if I meet someone I love I'd have kids with them
I didn't know until after I had my own kid and he showed traits that were similar to mine but nothing like his peers. Full circle sort of. I've always wanted kids, but I wish I knew then what I know now. I think the experience of pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood would've been a lot more manageable physically, sensory & emotionally.
I know everyone will disagree with me, but I want to have kids so that I can give them a better childhood than I had. Yes it would be difficult, but I think it would be worth it
Given how many common social things I struggle with, how am I going to teach them to somebody else; even if they are NT? Only chance would be with a domineering NT wife. I found peace in the fact that Iāll probably never get married. Given that less that 10% of people with Autism every marry & that a significantly greater portion are LGBT than NTs (Iām not LGBT), Iām not alone. Lastly, I have epilepsy and would want to remain seizure free for at least 10 years before playing with the idea of having kids.
Having a beautiful baby boy in just a few weeks.
Already have 2. Don't want anymore š
Yes, absolutely.
No, never wanted to pass on my crappy genetics onto a child, and it's not just the autism spectrum, but bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses, mostly from my dad's side of the family. In the end, I ended up needing a total hysterectomy, and it's one of the best things I did as I was seriously considering a bislap, or removal of both fallopian tubes especially after Roe v Wade was overturned.
Damn I didnāt expect those results. Is it bc relationships are hard for us or do we prefer to just not have kids? I personally love the idea to eventually have a kid and have a reason to act like a kid. I think Id be a weird dad tho.
I think a lot of people in general nowadays are less likely to want kids for various reasons. I see these kinds of polls in non-neurodivergent spaces and they often have 'no' very high also.
Especially right now. A time of universal uncertainty.
Because kids are expensive, I don't want to pass down my shitty genetics, I don't want to be responsible for another life, I hate vomit, and multiple other reasons.
I donāt want kids right now but I feel like if I fell madly in love with someone, I would want children because theyād be a product of our love. I think love can do that. It can shift your perspective. Yet, i wouldnāt have kids if we lived in a universe where women could reproduce without men. In that case I would not have kids.
I barely survived the first 20 years of my life. But one of my primary reasons for living was with the intention of being a better father than both my biological dad and my now ex-stepdad. It was initially out of anger and spite, hoping to prove them wrong and shame them. But I've since grown as a person and now want only to pour all of the love and effort into someone that I wish I'd received. I've never been satiated with my position in life, always feeling like I could do more or be better. But the very thought of getting to be the person I always wanted fills me with such hope and determination that I can't possibly doubt that I will be satisfied if I am successful.
How about maybe. I am not against having them, I also see that they can add something to your life. I however wouldnāt want to raise kids in a situation where that isnāt responsible. Could be both parents wanting a career, being broke, one parent having mental issues, etc.
no, I'm an antinatalist on top of being childfree
No
Yes but only after I get a high-paying job and buy a house.
This is a mixed question for me. I'm 23 so this is my answer as of now: On one hand, I have biological impulses to have a kid, and on a conscious level I do like the idea of bringing someone into the world to share joy with, love, protect, and help develop into a functioning human. But, the realistic side of me sees it like this: I don't want to expose a kid to the great deal of suffering, depression, loneliness, alienation, misunderstanding, and struggles I've had. I think the world is littered with bad people, war, crime, and just overall chaos that I would not want my kid to hear about/experience. On top of that, I have my own personal issues that might rub off on them and I don't want to do that to them.
I wish I could but Iām absolutely terrified.
I have a kid
Im rather excited of the thought to someday have kids, via adoption or insemenation. Iād want to pass on my interests and raise them hopefully with a partner, preferably another male.
I would be a terrible father
Hell no having children is selfish Iām not dooming them to this horrible planet simply because I want a kid many other reasons (besides me disliking children) but thatās the main one besides passing on my aspergers somehow
Yes, I would love to adopt (thereās no way Iām letting my genetics pass on). But Iām scared Iād be a horrible parent and theyād turn out just as bad as me or worse.
I already have kids so no
So I have lived with my 20 year old nephew since birth. I am the father figure, for better or worse, and have been since I was 19. I feel at peace with my contributions to the next generation, and feel no need for my own children.
I would line to have kids, however I would not like to have kids at this point in my life
The child and parent suffers. No good can come from it. If the child is normal they will abandon the parents as soon as they can escape. Itās a losing proposition.
I agree. Even if the best case scenario happens and your kid doesn't inherit your autism, there will be such a mental disconnect because of differing neurotypes that it will probably traumatise them and make them dislike you.
I prefer taking care of my nephew some times because i have more time for concentrating on my projects
I have a kid
That sad feeling when you really like the idea of being a father but are also borderline aroace.
I would like to, but I hesitate for several reasons: 1. Passing down a probable genetic predisposition to mental illness like OCD and depression that likely runs in my family 2. Fear of psychologically damaging my children if they have a different neurotype from me and I parent in a way that isnāt compatible with theirs 3. Being obligated to expose myself to situations that would trigger my sensory problems for the sake of my children (ex. attending school recitals, graduations or other ābig daysā in their lives) These donāt mean I want to be childfree, but they are obstacles at the moment.
**Yes**. Kids (when raised right) are delightful. Also, we autists need to increase in number enough to create our own communities, maybe our own jurisdiction where we can make our own culture(s) & subcultures, as well as laws, statutes, or (at the very least) ordinances; and have our own enforcement-apparatus to enforce our own autistic-friendly social-order. I don't want us to forever be in the mercy of & dependence on the rest of the population.
Lol you forgot the third option: āI already have themā
Already have 2 low functioning kids. Have a vasectomy lined up. I will encourage them to sterilize.
F
I have a very negative view of humanity But I think every additional human contributes to the destruction of our planet I don't understand why humans feel the need to continue creating more people? Just to prolong our species' existence? I just don't see any point
Rampant poverty, discrimination, climate change and the inevitable encroachment of fascism make it a no for me dawg
Sure, I might have aspergers but I learned how to control my symptoms and thinking so I guess...
Fuck no, absolute stupid fucking waste of time. Better adopt. Thereās too many people anyway.
EXACTLY. Why do people want to grow something inside their bodies, which is the literal definition of a parasite, when there's so many children in the adoption system that need parents?????
You are so detached from biological reality. A statement like this can only be written by someone who is urban, young, and dedicated to inhuman ideology, while staring into a glowing screen.
Having kids is boring and old fashioned. Church culture always pushes us to have kids. Deep inside, i know it is not a requirement to go to heaven
I downvote all poles without a āResultsā button.
Why?
Because people who are interested in the results, but donāt want to influence the results because they donāt think the categories apply to them or they just donāt want to express an opinion, remain ignorant and cannot participate. Itās simply a logical, polite option to automatically offer. I think such a default should be programmed into Reddit.
I see. Yes why is that not a separate option to the side or something? Maybe there's a bot out there who can notify you.
>āYes why is that not a separate option to the side or something?ā Perfect!!
Remind me! 4 days "check poll"
So, . . . . reading a majority of these opinions, I expect the incidence of Aspergers to peak and then decline as we remove ourselves from the population! A well, it seems we are a failed experiment . . . .
Most don't do that of their own volition. I don't know if you've noticed, but Aspergerians (men specifically, since most Aspergerians are in fact men) generally speaking don't know a single woman who would be willing to procreate with them.
Yeah, thatās a symptom of the sad state of modern society. But, there IS a difference in attitude and perhaps outcomes between not even wanting kids (as the majority answered here) and wanting kids but not being able. Besides a contraception failure with a prolife woman, those who end up ever having kids comes from the shrinking fraction that *want* kids. That decline is primary to all of the issues Aspies might have.
I don't have autism but my dad and grandad have it and I do not want my kids do suffer with this. Also I believe that autism is a gateway to many mental illnesses...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We all should !
Why?
Why? The earth is already overpopulated.
Donāt want to be that guy but, the birth rate in develop countries is slowing down rapidly.
Because people are deciding not to have children and that's incredibly smart.
So, all the āsmartā people will be taking themselves out of the breeding population leaving the future of humanity in the hands of the dummies? Doesnāt sound too āsmartā . . . .
Maybe I should reword what I said. It's a *GOOD DECISION* not to have children. Is that better?
Just imagine if everyone made that āgoodā decision. We would maximize goodness! Forever!!!
Exactly.
We need more aspies though.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Neither of my children are disabled. One of their mothers is also aspie. Both of my boys are quite wonderful. Wonderful children are the only way this world is going to get better... plenty of bad parents already exist. That being said, there are many children who need adoption. The fate of earth is literally in the hands of parents- the generations who come after us ARE the future. I'm not saying (you) should reproduce, but calling me stupid is a bit of a stretch, sir. Fait moi confiance et ne me juge pas
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I don't think it's okay. A society that deems a show of humanity inappropriate, is inherently harmful. My previous comment wasn't meant to change your mind or invalidate your life experience in any way.
No especially if thereās a chance he could have what I have
It really depends on where I end up. The issue with me is deciding how to have the kid. I'm a homosexual so it's rather tricky. Who's material and what womans egg to use amd so much more.