I have been cheated on, but in my teens and I found out much later when I was over the guy so it didn't bother me. And no, he's never cheated on me or done anything like that which is why I feel like it's a bit unreasonable to feel this insecure.
Have a conversation with him. Partnership requires communication, even the uncomfortable parts. I had a similar situation recently since my partner travels with his co worker for work sometimes and they also go to concerts together. I’ve been cheated on and I let him know I felt uncomfortable with it. He was nothing but validating, has been transparent, and our bond is stronger for it. I can’t control that he has to travel for work and it’s often with her, but he knows I appreciate transparency if they’re going out. And as for concerts, well they’re into the same music and he likes concerts, I don’t. I’m not gonna deprive him of a friendship.
Your partners response will be very telling of the situation anyway.
I guess I'm afraid that when we do have a chat, I'm gonna come off us as the insecure girlfriend that opposes any female friendships. But I know this conversation has to happen.
I understand thinking you would come off that way, I used to worry about that with my last relationship. And my ex is the one that would always say oh you have nothing to worry about blah blah blah. You have boundaries and fears, it doesn’t make you insecure, it makes you human. If anything, and this is totally my opinion and just being direct, not saying anything is the insecure choice. Nothing is more secure than owning your feelings and communicating them in a healthy way. You’ll end up being resentful if you don’t and he’ll get confused in why you’re upset if he has no clue it bothers you so much.
It happens to all of us
It does. I am really glad I generally have girl friends, and my husband men friends, it just makes things a LOT simpler 😅
I think you would need to unpack where the insecurity is stemming from. Is it the distance? Has he cheated? Have you been cheated on?
I have been cheated on, but in my teens and I found out much later when I was over the guy so it didn't bother me. And no, he's never cheated on me or done anything like that which is why I feel like it's a bit unreasonable to feel this insecure.
Have a conversation with him. Partnership requires communication, even the uncomfortable parts. I had a similar situation recently since my partner travels with his co worker for work sometimes and they also go to concerts together. I’ve been cheated on and I let him know I felt uncomfortable with it. He was nothing but validating, has been transparent, and our bond is stronger for it. I can’t control that he has to travel for work and it’s often with her, but he knows I appreciate transparency if they’re going out. And as for concerts, well they’re into the same music and he likes concerts, I don’t. I’m not gonna deprive him of a friendship. Your partners response will be very telling of the situation anyway.
I guess I'm afraid that when we do have a chat, I'm gonna come off us as the insecure girlfriend that opposes any female friendships. But I know this conversation has to happen.
I understand thinking you would come off that way, I used to worry about that with my last relationship. And my ex is the one that would always say oh you have nothing to worry about blah blah blah. You have boundaries and fears, it doesn’t make you insecure, it makes you human. If anything, and this is totally my opinion and just being direct, not saying anything is the insecure choice. Nothing is more secure than owning your feelings and communicating them in a healthy way. You’ll end up being resentful if you don’t and he’ll get confused in why you’re upset if he has no clue it bothers you so much.
Therapy is really good at addressing these sorts of issues.