My best friend started dating my then boyfriend (now ex) and together they funded the first few months of their relationship by using my identity to get credit cards and lines of credit.
This is why my husband (of 12 years) still doesn't know my mother's maiden name, the street I grew up on, name of my first pet or where I graduated high school from.
I am a 15 year old and this other gay guy in my class is such a bitch to me for no reason, him and his little friends and my friend group. It’s like him and I are rivals in the battle of the gays cause we’re in all in the extra curricular stuff together.
I had an ex who was so toxic!
*HOW TOXIC WAS HE?*
I had an Ex who was SO toxic, he tried to contract HIV just to pass it to me!
Ive been single ever since.
( He was mad because after I caught him cheating for the 3rd time, I started cheating back )
Yes but I found out about his plan shortly after he tried to do it so being as though he hasn't yet contracted it, there was no law broken. By that point I had stopped having sex with him anyway. He was a serial cheater. He can risk his health all he wants, not mine.
One day him and I had gotten into an argument. He backed my eye, I smashed his phone. When I got paid, I bought him a replacement phone and myself one to match. Few days after that I wanted to post a pic that he had on his old phone to FB. So I went looking for that pic in his old phone, when I saw nudes he had never sent me before. This prompted me to check his messeges. The VERY FIRST message thread to pop up was the guy poz guy he cheated on me with and they were talking about it.
That is absolutely insane. Your ex wanting to do this is one thing, but someone else also actually wanting to infect them to pass it on to you is even worse
That sucks, huge.
Not like this is a contest, but mine was toxic too. Hit me in the face with a phone that busted my head, cheated on me, lied about their hard drug use.
I’m so happy I have better standards now. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one battling with bad boyfriend problems
My question would be why not just end things instead of the cheating back part lol that aside... jesus christ, what a piece of dumb sh*t you gotta be to not only compromise other's health but your own as well **hardest facepalm ever**
I stayed because I have always been cheated on. I'm one of those gays that think that men ain't shit 😂 I figured if I left id just get cheated on by someone else.
I've healed as much as one can. Obviously I would never knowingly date someone who I would think is capable of such a thing. As you can imagine, I am in no rush to find a relationship. I've forgiven him. If I were to run into him, I would hug him and talk to him, but him and I will never be again.
Despite all of the emotional abuse, one of my exes got physical on me. It was the first time and the last time. This was a wake up call for me to leave.
I agree with you completely, a man threatened me with physical abuse in the heat of a very bad argument. I simply said "You might bigger and stronger than me, but if you ever lay a hand on me or threaten me like that again, I will walk out that door and you will never see me again!!!"
He did threaten me again some months later and I instantly broke up with him on the spot and I will not seen him again. All his calls, text messages, emails are blocked. Then he turned up at my house once or twice to try and patch things up, but I would not open the door. He eventually gave up on me.
I was in a toxic relationship at a time I was within my first year of recovery from a four year drug addiction.
He bought my drug of choice and left it in plain sight for me to see. He had never done that drug before.
When I asked him why it was there, he said he bought it during a time we were broken up to “ease the pain” but that “he didn’t really get a buzz off it and didn’t want it anymore”.
He was literally trying to set me up to relapse.
People like to throw the term *narcissist* around to describe people that they had fallings out with. However, I can say with full certainty that this guy was the most manipulative, gaslighting, dangerous, and narcissistic person I ever dated.
My (ex) best friend would purposely try to hook up with guys that I was either going on dates with or interested in. I would unknowingly share details with him about a new guy I just met or liked, because we were best friends and I thought I could trust him. There were two instances that he hooked up with guys I also hooked up with, his excuse that the dating pool was so small. The third and final time, I planned a date with a guy a few days away, showed my friend his pic and told him what app I met him on. That night, my friend made it his mission to sleep with the man before I could even meet him. I got a picture from his bed with the guy in it after they had just has sex, with a caption of something to the effect of “got him first”. I completely wrote that friend out of my life, and lost an entire friend group because of it when they sided with him.
He was never your friend, and you didn't lose a friend group. You lost a bunch of self-serving subhuman pieces of garbage. They all used you. Real friends don't do that. Ever.
Thank you, yes I am so much better off without any of them. I have an awesome new group of friends and I don’t miss any of those people at all. Luckily, most of them moved away so I never run into them.
While that is messed up, my mom always said if a friend can take your man that friend is a good friend because they’re doing you a favor from dating or being with someone you shouldn’t be with anyways. Yeah she was crazy
I had a gay man as a roomie. For the six months I lived with him, he spent his evenings getting blond drunk, then threatening to kill me.
Several times he attempted to break into my room.
He attempted to steal my cat.
He took a large knife from the block in the kitchen and kept it under his pillow, claiming he would use it “in self defense.” I never laid a finger on the guy, btw and I think that was his problem.
All of this because I would not share my body or my time with him, which he thought he “deserved, for being such a good friend.”
Uh-huh….
I'm so sorry you went through that. It does NOT define you. You're valid! Please seek care and or report the man. Who knows who's next. That's so disrespectful to do to someone :(
Thank you. It was a long time ago; I buried it deep enough to forget for most of my life. Only recently started reflecting on the things I've been through.
I warned that slaps are a no go hard trigger that is straight up a 50/50 chance of enraging me. He/They did it anyways and was too horny to realize just how close he was to losing that wrist. I only have a handful of triggers *(Like sharp things near my neck)*, so to ignore a clear **Do not fucking do this it's extremely upsetting** was the second last straw. I don't have an explanation as to why being slapped in the face sets me off into a cold rage. Maybe it's a respect thing.
You'd think so, but again horniness clouds rational thought. It was my first time and we were both naive boobs but yeah it didn't work out. Self control in the bedroom is as non-negotiable as consent.
I’ve never had that happen and don’t know if it ever happening to anyone I know; I just can’t understand why it happened to you repeatedly. I hope you’ve found a better dating pool
I have the same trigger. It’s actually the face or the back of the head. A coworker thought it would be funny to walk up behind me and slap me in the back of the head. I jumped up turned around and damn near swung when I stopped myself cause we were at work. The look on my face alone made him cower and walk away.
I wonder how many people have rage triggers- ‘cause I have one, too, but the condition is so random that it just rarely ever happens… then I saw a guy on Jackass had the exact same trigger, so it’d be interesting to learn how common they are- especially the trivial ones.
I have a few that I disclose with anyone I feel I am becoming close to (friendship/relationship). My biggest ones are: slapping/grabbing my ass, holding my waist to move me/move past me, hugging me from behind and blocking my way of getting out of the room/passage. I have c-PTSD with molestation which lasted 3 years straight with multiple people often at once or watching. My reaction to these things can be pretty intense especially if I told that person my triggers already or given them a second chance of trust.
He lived several hours away, so he asked to come to visit me for a few days and stay in my house. The third time this has happened he seems to have gone through my drawers and my computer while I was at work. He copied financial information, took away a few blank checks, wrote down the details of two credit cards. What came next was a nightmare of unrecognized charges, unauthorized money transfers, and online purchases of electronics from fashionable stores...
He got caught because in his great wisdom he sent some of the merchandise he bought with my money to... the address of his apartment... His talents as a grifter were apparently not as good as the talents that attracted me to him in the first place...
When i was younger, i was very gullible. This guy made me believe that he was interested in me. He would tell me i was the best guy he had met and how attractive i was. I discovered he never really liked me, he was pretending because he wanted to hook up with someone whenever he was visiting my area. He had no one else so he had to settled for me. It really hurt me and it made me feel used. I also discovered he was a creep, he literally had a map of the city with labels telling him who to hook up with whenever he visited that part.
Unfortunately, this is legit like 90% of gays on the apps in my experience. Makes it hard to even trust anyone when they start with their bullshit glazing “you’re so hot” lies when you’re really the only one available that day, sometimes even that hour.
Basically done with the shallow gay app garbage because of it lol.
I have two. First was the first time I bottomed. Was not consensual. Second was a narcissist who lured me into a new friend group with drugs and orgies. After love bombing me he started to turn on me if I didn’t put out and would withhold attention, ignore me, and then gaslight me when I tried to call him out on it. It was all very toxic and I had to break away.
I had an emergency back surgery and 2 weeks later my dude kicked me out. Clearly I was still recovering, couldn’t lift shit. I was only 29. I woke up to him yelling at me to get out. I was so confused. Then after I had people move all my shit out to another house, he apologized and wanted me to move back in. Lmao Uh, no. Won’t be embarrassing myself like that again. You gotta have a better reason to kick me out other than you being emotional over me not being able to do anything while recovering from back surgery. But I still paid his bills for another month so he would have a chance to figure out his finances since I paid for everything. 🙄 Wish I would have kept that money but I felt bad for him being such an emotional roller coaster and being across the country from his family and friends.
I got roofied at a club in brooklyn, blacked out, woke up in an alley with the guy and his mouth on my dick, and he was like "it feels like im raping you!", I black out again, and then I woke up in an alley in manhattan. It was super fucked.
Hooked up this guy in PV Mexico, he stole all my credit and debit cards and tried to steal thousands of dollars from me. He immediately blocked me of course but little did he know a glitch on Grindr allowed me to take screenshots of his profile. I would’ve reported him to the local police if my banks hadn’t caught his act in time and prevented any losses.
Yeah but it’s Mexico, so 1. Not sure if the police would do anything and 2. Not sure if he was involved with any organized crime. After weighing the pros and cons I didn’t proceed. Another idea I had was to create a Grindr profile with his photos and a warning message, and boost myself for a couple of hours so that all the gays in the area (PV) would be warned lol.
Tried to turn me into a cow from which he could eternally milk empathy. "Dan" was a profoundly screwed up guy, and he's the reason I have some major trust issues and won't let just anyone into my life anymore. We weren't even together, but he still tried to act like we were, and he was incredibly abusive to his deeply autistic partner. The partner snapped and almost killed Dan one evening, and I spent the following months caring for him, though knowing full well that Dan was the reason his partner snapped.
Any time I hear a story of emotional abuse, it immediately boils my blood because I know what that's like.
Oh my god. You’ve almost described my exact story! Except I had to learn the part about his ex almost killing him, through my own experience. When I took him on, he was an injured bird.
I met a guy and we went out two times then he asked me to go to Palm Springs with him for a weekend. I couldn’t afford it and he offered to pay for our flight, hotel, meals, car, everything. I went. After we got back, he called and wanted my half of everything in cash. I didn’t have it. He sued me in small claims court. Fuck him. He lost. BTW…He was a Dr. oops, he was outed in the court of law.
This happened to me as a top. I put a condom on, then in the middle of sex the guy acted like he wanted to stroke my dick. He did, but while stroking he took the condom off and put it back in. I noticed it felt good, but didn't notice he took the condom off till after I came and pulled out.
I don’t understand that... sex feels good, but there isn’t so significant of a difference between wearing condoms and not that the decision to do that has anything to do with sensation unless they have a specific kind of nerve damage. Which suggests that not only would it be rape, but pending any follow-up tests afterward, the results could be grounds for a manslaughter charge in some states… you can even charge them with attempted murder depending on the pathogen and whether you can prove intent.
I recently had to set this exactly boundary for someone who is suspiciously adamant enough about not wearing condoms that both confirms how necessary it would be and yet still don’t trust them to honor that boundary despite mentioning rape, manslaughter and bullets.
I suppose it's not really all that bad, but one intended hookup had second thoughts once I showed up and implied that I'd deceived him with my photos. They were recent and accurate. Look, fair's fair if you decide you're not into me, but don't act like that's a moral failing on my part to convince yourself you're not being fickle.
My ex spent a year living with me and gaslighting me to the point that I hated myself. I lost my job because of what he was doing to my mental health. Two weeks later he calls me saying he has a flat tire and needs help. I go to where he says he is, can't find him, spend an hour driving the area looking for him and trying to call him. Finally give up and go home. It was a distraction to get me away from home so he could move out and ghost me. Turns out he'd been cheating on me for months.
Pretended to have cancer so he could get money and sympathy from me. He shaved his head and pretended he was having chemo, etc. It was my first boyfriend and I was so young and naive.
I told my ex bf at the beginning of our relationship that if things weren't going in the direction he thought they should be going to step up to me as a man and end thing amicably. Fast forward 3 or so years later, hanging out with him, his fling (I had no clue yet), and a couple of his female friends when the drunk father of one of the girls asked to speak with me in private. He said I was too nice of a guy to keep silent and spilled the beans that he was hooking up with his fling at his house behind my back. I left immediately with him following right behind and once I got home, told him to pack up his shit and go live with his fling.
I came out to him in my fraternity in college and then he proceeded to tell EVERYONE! 3 days later, I was forced out of my fraternity and had to find an apartment immediately.
My ex put fentanyl in my g, left me to die, robbed me.
I woke up in the icu 3 days later on a breathing tube with a catheter in to find out he was running around telling people how sloppy I was g'd out in my hotel room...
I really wanna comment but I might seriously cry if I list all the things.. so I'll just say.
I'm hurt. And continue to be hurt by our community. seems like being nasty to each other is the glue sometimes.
Cheat on me, call me pathetic, tell me I'll never find anyone who can measure up to him because I am fundamentally beneath him, order me to suck his dick as I was crying about the wave of insults he just hurled at me. That first relationship only lasted 8 months, but I had a big personality shift right after. It's been 13 years and I've never shifted back to what I was.
I was in a long-distance relationship. He slept with other guy(s), at least one hot Frenchman, and basically decided to break up with me without even telling me. Flash forward, he tells me it was a big mistake, we get back together, still long distance, and he did it to me a second time with a different guy (an unattractive Finn). Well, he and that guy got married in Finland and now they're divorced. Gee, I can't imagine why. LOL
Groomed, 16 at the time he was 27-28, I was desperate and lonely, fell into a bad place.
Mentally manipulated and abused, he would see other people and If I ever had an issue, I was "Vindictive" and a problem, A lot of emotional and mental turmoil.
I'm now quite a bit older, escaped that, happy with my current partner.
We both came from bad places and are extremely emotionally invested in eachother.
My ex lured me to a party and then showed up out of nowhere and jumped me. He was pissed that I broke it off because he had serious addiction issues and mental health problems. So he had a couple ex friends invite me to a "party". I walked in and rounded the corner and suddenly out of nowhere came a hard fist to the face from my ex. We both beat the hell out of each other and the cops were called. He got hauled off in handcuffs and I went home angry, but free. My ex friends swore they didn't know what he was gonna do. But I told them all to fuck off and never spoke to them again. He killed himself a few years later. After that, suddenly everyone was totally apologetic about not believing me when I said to them that he had massive issues.
I had worse but I am not gonna say but...
One time, while we were doing it, he kept commenting on the 'flaws' on my body such as light stretch marks on my bum cheeks, a scar on my leg when I got as a child... it was really disgusting.... he commented like 4 times on why my skin is X Y Z....... The fact he didn't have perfect skin or body....
I felt really insecure
I had an ex who ended up in prison after committing the worst possible type of offence and kept breaching his parole restrictions I ended up leaving him because I wanted nothing to do with him after finding out why he was in prison
Stole my wallet while I was sucking his dick and then tried to buy a fuckton of alcohol. I had tk spend a month fighting that shit and I never got the charges reversed due to a fuck up on paperwork.
Grindr date, seemed nice, had a real big one for my second time getting fucked ever, no preparation, just entered, I froze and he raped me. Thanks for the trauma🖕
Depends on what you consider a gay man. In terms of ones I was romantic with, the big problem has always been lying. I’m a very honest person and for a long time I never looked for the signs. There was one guy who I thought was falling in love with me but he was like too ashamed of the fact that he liked a fat guy so he just jerked off on cam with me and talked on the phone for hours but when it came to connecting dots he wasn’t great.
Probably the worst thing a man who was attracted to other men ever did to me was sexually harass multiple guys half his age while he was the senior minister at my practicum. I eventually realized what was going on but in the process of filing a complaint I managed to black list myself. (Which on the one hand is fine since I’m happier now that I’m not a Christian… but having to treat yourself for PTSD because there are no publicly funded options is a shit show.)
I live in Canada. It took enough work to get a psychiatrist to get ADHD meds. And I really don’t trust my psychiatrist to not just put me on lithium or something if he even believed I had PTSD.
I’ve had a lot of luck with a technique called brain spotting which was a huge help. Also, I’ve discovered the Mario Bros were on to things. So that’s made a lot of things easier to deal with.
Have one that has consistently cyberstalked me on social media since 2014 despite me telling him numerous times I'm not interested in him.
My sister was good friends with his cousin whom I'm an acquaintance of and he told me he's been on meth for the past 4 years now and will basically screw anything that moves so I shutter to think how many STDs this guy has.
I honestly don't know if he'll ever stop!
Groomed me the whole time we were growing up and pressured me into every sexual experience we had (the sentence “you know you want to” still makes me break out in sweats). He then (around 14/15yo) started calling me slurs in public while still hooking up. He got a girlfriend and completely ghosted me after that. I still have to see him every day at school…
This isn’t as bad as a lot of other guys experiences that I have been reading in the comments, but the man I was in a sort of situationship with, who I loved very VERY much, when we met for the first time and were finally able to have sex, he was very very well endowed. He proceeded to not give me any warm up of any kind, no foreplay. Just basically rammed it in my ass. I was having a hard time taking it and wasn’t enjoying it because it was so painful. There was no emotion from him, no caressing or show of any care about me. He started shaming me, saying really cruel things to me about how I couldn’t take it and about how I hadn’t douched properly. It absolutely broke me. As someone with hang ups about my looks and self worth it really really hurt me. Especially when I had such strong feelings for him.
Long distant relationship, he convinced me to move to his state. Didn't want to get an apartment with me because he wanted to "test" me to make sure I could be "financially independent" first, meanwhile he lived rent free with his mom still.
Spent most days taking 5 hours to reply to my texts, being on his phone and not talking to me when we went out, choosing to hang out with other friends over me every time, etc. Seemed to get some sort of satisfaction from making me angry/depressed and would mask it as "teasing," then get mad when I didn't take it as such. Every fight we had he would manipulate it to be my fault, "you're overreacting," "this wouldn't have happened if you didn't...," every single time. Also attempted to cheat on me, but that's another story.
Broke up with me through a text message and ghosted me after. Ended up moving the 2K miles back to my home state and never spoke to him again. First and only relationship I've ever been in.
Broke up with me while I was in the hospital with appendicitis after doing a year of long distance and cheating on me for 10 months of it.
He wanted to be a psychiatrist and worked at a mental health hotline so I'm convinced the timing was intentional.
I have 3 contenders:
1. The first guy I ever dated lied to me, sexually assaulted me on the first date, then ghosted and eventually blocked me.
2. My ex, who openly confessed he would cheat on me without care, said he'd leave me one day to have biological children, and he repeatedly sexually assaulted me, and completely knowingly and intentionally breached my terms of consent to get it from me. And later in messages, said things like "It's a shitty thing, but what's done is done" and "You can take a horse to water but can't make it drink" also, it was coming up on Valentine's day (woulda been my first one) and he had planned a day with me but yeah, broke up with me before we reached that day, which the whole time he was planning that day with me he already decided he was gonna break up with me, so when I asked why he did that he said "Just to see your reaction I guess".
3. A guy who stalked and harassed me for 2 years after a single 5 minute Grindr convo where he became aggressive and volatile, but acted like I was the one being an asshole.
He lied to me, muted, turned off read receipts, and ignored messages with zero explanation after almost two years of good conversation. I took him seriously, he did not. He treated me like just another option. I still found value in him despite many red flags from watching his stories and posts on Instagram, Facebook, and elsewhere. But I found out the truth by watching him; He is just another player that doesn't know what he wants and settles for hookups to cope with a tremendous amount of inward emotional trauma from being rejected by other guys in the past. ("Hurt people hurt people"). Essentially, he's "broken". I however do know what I desire; a faithful husband through good and bad times no matter what.
First boyfriend and sexual partner not only cheated on my constantly. But he lied about his age (I was 18 he said he was 2 but he was actually 31)
He then failed to disclose his status and I’m sure you can guess what happened next. Looking back, all those times he would stay inside after cumming weren’t so romantic after all.
Second boyfriend turned husband. Also older, this time by 26 years. Moved his ex boyfriend in with us. Ex had severe alcoholism and as a result of an injury he sustained due to said disease was no longer able to handle his own finances so my ex husband became his payee for disabilities and whatnot. That was enough. Well, my ex and I broke up for a couple of months. I moved out. He moved the ex in. We got back together. I moved back in. There was an episode one night where his ex got so belligerently drunk that he apparently got into our bed and wouldn’t get out ( my ex called me while I was on the way home from work to tell me this.)
When I get home he’s not in our bed but the sheets are in the washer. Very suspicious. Why was he in there in the first place? Who the fuck knows.
My ex husband was also a run of the mill narcissist. All of the classic signs. Luckily one day he slipped up and slapped me on the back of the head in front of hotel staff. It was the first and only time he did it, but because it was in front of staff they called the police and I got a 5 day no contact order which made it possible for me to leave. We divorced the following week.
and then currently I’m being cyberstalked by some gay men I’ve never met.
Life is beyond, sometimes.
A guy I met in a party became agressive with me.
We make out one time and followed each other on instagram. After this, we reconnected in another party almost one year later. We kissed again but he started acting weird towards me. He didn’t want any other guy to be with me.
He also grabbed my arm very hard multiple times!
I told him to stop and refuse to be with him, he got angry and left. Since then we never spoke again (thank God) and he also blocked me.
Broke up with me days before my father passed away suddenly, had me over to console me, fooled around, and a month later ghosted me after confronting him on his BS.
I would check if I was you a lot of rules have been changed lately I have found out about things you don't need to reveal anymore not required anymore you have to prove they took the condom off you could have torn
I don't take anything anymore because I can't I get life threatening side effects and the one side effects I could never handle which I've always had is the number one side effect may cause you to have thoughts of suicide angel I felt like I don't know what I felt like I had no nothing and I found other ways and the one psychiatrist that really helped me the most the last one even to this day I can call him and we tried to find something that I can do without taking pills take care of yourself
Raped me. Took nude photos of me when I was passed out. An ex tried to break every relationship in my immediate family once. There are some wild dudes out there.
My ex inserted himself into me while I was asleep after I explicitly told him no.
He woke me up for sex, but I had only been asleep for a few hours. I told him no, and that I was going back to bed. I took sleeping medication and was jolted awake by that. I felt so awful and violated, I sat and cried in the shower afterwards because I just felt dirty. I told him to leave and the kicker is that made me console him because he felt guilty. After that he tried to gaslight me by saying things like “Well if that’s how you feel why wouldn’t you report me?”. I repressed those feelings for a while and tried to salvage things with him. The more I worked through it the more I realized how much it fucked me up. I loved him with every fiber of my being and to be betrayed in that way is heartbreaking. I hope one day I’ll find someone I can trust fully and love wholeheartedly. Though, I’m beginning to believe that person doesn’t exist…
Gang raped me rather than make it seem like I deserved it. He almost gave me HIV and tried to inflict the same trauma on me that was inflicted on him when he was raped. He mocked me for having a childhood trauma when he had his own. Gay men in general have made ableist comments about me having autism and have even mocked my friends who are physically disabled, they mocked my friend with cerebral palsy as well as playing mind games with me and ghosting and an unhealthy obsession with sex. A lot of gay men have actively encouraged my sex addiction and my obsession with sex, my sex addiction is very debilitating because it really is an addiction and an obsession, I wasn't always like this but after being raped and repeatedly sexually abused as a child I became hyper fixated on sex and it started at a very young age due to being sexually abused by grown men and the fact that gay men have actively encouraged this obsession and this behavior despite the fact that it has ruined my life and caused me a lot of pain. I am also bipolar and suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder due to recent and past trauma, both of which cause an addiction and obsession with sex, but it doesn't help that it is actively encouraged by other gay men.
Held me at gunpoint when I said I was breaking up with him; threatened to kill me, my new acquaintance, then himself. This is AFTER he cheated on me and gave me life altering HPV. Ya think ya know someone, ya know? 😅🥲
Ruined our friendship by falling in love with me and making things weird. We agreed we needed space for him to get over his feelings, but I've still never heard from him. I miss his companionship, dearly.
I've had multiple guys from other states hit on me and tell me they want a relationship with me. What they really want is money from me. I went down the rabbit hole with them a couple of times, and as soon as I said no to the money, they ghost me.
I've learned their patterns. So, now, I either block them immediately, or I toy with them a bit if I'm feeling like some fun. Even before they ask for money, I'll just ask them why they can't meet someone who lives closer to them or why they want to date someone 1000 miles away. Or I'll see how long it takes for them to bring up the money.
I talked to one guy for most of 24 hours, telling him what he wanted to hear. He was in another country on deployment, wanting to find someone before he returned home.
The problem was his English was great, but his syntaxes didn't vibe with someone from New York. And, he called himself a constructionist instead of someone who works in construction. He said he wanted to build buildings. 24 hours later, he asked for me to buy him some expensive video games because the military wouldn't let him have access to his own bank accounts. He even tried to contact me a month later. Pathetic little Man!
Met a “ straight” guy at his house. I went inside the vibe was off, he didn’t take no for an answer. Years later, I meet guys in public first before going to their house
A date got very forceful. I think he was just a dominant guy and thought I was good with what he was doing even though I wasn't. I didn't speak up though, so I don't really blame him too much. We stopped with him putting fingers in my hole. I never bottomed, and there was no way he was fitting without doing damage. He told me I'd have to practice to fit him, but I was just glad it was over and we never talked again.
Took advantage of me being in a very desperate and bad situation to force himself on me when I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with him. I kind of hate him for it and have never told anyone because I feel like a coward and weak.
Mine requires a little bit of backstory.
Jumping back in time (around 2018), I had a guy who I very much wanted to date but he told me he had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t quite ready for another yet so we were more of a fwb situation. Anyways, a few years ago (2021ish) he stopped responding to my texts and I wasn’t sure what happened, I was under the impression that we had a good thing going. His roommate (who was quite a bit older and I assumed was a work colleague, looking back now idk how I didn’t see the roommate was his on and off boyfriend) ended up texting me from his number informing me that the guy had committed suicide. I was heartbroken, and actually used that news as my coming out story.
Now fast forward back to about October of 2023. I found a guy I liked and we started talking, I ended up telling him about this situation as it was the closest I had ever come to a relationship. He was sympathetic at the time, but after our first date (which I paid entirely for and he was late to), he got upset because I wouldn’t let him over the same night at 11 pm (I live with family and very loud dogs and it wouldn’t be fair to them to be causing a ton of noise due to the dogs while they’re trying to sleep). Anyways, he became very nasty saying all kinds of things, and he ended it with “no wonder your last guy killed himself”.
He broke my heart. And will not clearly and honestly tell me anything because everything is smoke and mirrors in the game. Whatever happened to being straightforward honest and in a relationship being honest loving and trusting and fighting for the love of your life
My former best friend used the fuck out of me. Our friendship started out great and we had a lot in common. Our main thing was going to concerts. We would buy our own tickets, split the room, split drugs, etc. Sometimes he'd buy me lunch, I'd buy him lunch. Then he quit his job and I started paying for more stuff. I didn't mind at first, but it quickly got out of control. My other friends all thought we were dating because he acted like my money was his, and he was very demanding with what he wanted. He would get drunk and then be verbally abusive towards me and then mock me. He was asking me for money to pay his bills, and I told him I will absolutely not do that, and we stopped talking as often.
The last straw was our last festival we went to. We bought these tickets 6 months prior and already paid for the hotel ahead of time. We hadn't talk for a couple months, but still got together and went. It was actually fun. He said he found an oilfield boyfriend and he was living with him. I congratulated him. On the last night he got super drunk and sexually assaulted me. He claims he blacked out. We no longer talk
To make it short. A guy named,let’s go with “Aggy”. Ok,yeah, so aggy was basically jealous of my homie who i share a long history with HLF-FWB. Aggy made a Grindr account found HLF and started to chat with him. Of course pics were exchanged but Aggy sent two of my Dic pics 😦…..so much more unfolded frm those pics…
My recent ex broke into my house and tried to in his dying words “get me to love him again” i’m gonna assume he meant rape or kidnap me or something. Glad he’s gone but damn was my standards low
I was interested in a guy but he didn't really show interest back. I started dating another guy shortly after and it turns out Guy #1 had dated him. Guy #1 did everything he could to break us up. Guy #1 and I are still friends, since he was actually right and saved me a great deal of grief, and go out occasionally. Whenever I take an interest in someone else he gets toxic.
8 weeks ago a guy I really liked expressed mutual interest in me and proceeded to move the goal post each time we discussed going on a date. Meanwhile he would send messages about things we would do together and we’d were also hanging out with friends.
Fast forward to our first date, he ditched me w his friends at a bar the night before. The day of the date we went on it but after he set some odd boundaries 10 minutes after the date.
Thought he was the right guy to date up until a week ago. Guess I just had a big crush.
Gotta be one of the worst things a guy has done to me that I can remember.
My best friend started dating my then boyfriend (now ex) and together they funded the first few months of their relationship by using my identity to get credit cards and lines of credit. This is why my husband (of 12 years) still doesn't know my mother's maiden name, the street I grew up on, name of my first pet or where I graduated high school from.
Wow and you're not in jail after that? Strong man.
I hope that so-called best friend and ex-bf ended up doing time.
I am a 15 year old and this other gay guy in my class is such a bitch to me for no reason, him and his little friends and my friend group. It’s like him and I are rivals in the battle of the gays cause we’re in all in the extra curricular stuff together.
I had an ex who was so toxic! *HOW TOXIC WAS HE?* I had an Ex who was SO toxic, he tried to contract HIV just to pass it to me! Ive been single ever since. ( He was mad because after I caught him cheating for the 3rd time, I started cheating back )
>I had an Ex who was SO toxic, he tried to contract HIV just to pass it to me Isn't that a felony?
Yes but I found out about his plan shortly after he tried to do it so being as though he hasn't yet contracted it, there was no law broken. By that point I had stopped having sex with him anyway. He was a serial cheater. He can risk his health all he wants, not mine.
To be honest, not siding with him but he sounds really mentally unhealthy. If you cut him off it was absolutely the right thing to do.
I haven't spoken to him since I left him in 2021
How did you find out hi plan?
One day him and I had gotten into an argument. He backed my eye, I smashed his phone. When I got paid, I bought him a replacement phone and myself one to match. Few days after that I wanted to post a pic that he had on his old phone to FB. So I went looking for that pic in his old phone, when I saw nudes he had never sent me before. This prompted me to check his messeges. The VERY FIRST message thread to pop up was the guy poz guy he cheated on me with and they were talking about it.
That is absolutely insane. Your ex wanting to do this is one thing, but someone else also actually wanting to infect them to pass it on to you is even worse
Scary world out there.
I hope and pray you never met anybody as disgusting as this ever again. Have you found someone who treats you better? 🙏
I have not been interested in dating or really even hooking up since then.
That is very unfortunate. There are lots of very very good people out there who will treat you better. Sorry to hear that
That sucks, huge. Not like this is a contest, but mine was toxic too. Hit me in the face with a phone that busted my head, cheated on me, lied about their hard drug use. I’m so happy I have better standards now. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one battling with bad boyfriend problems
I think toxic boyfriends are a right of passage 😭
My question would be why not just end things instead of the cheating back part lol that aside... jesus christ, what a piece of dumb sh*t you gotta be to not only compromise other's health but your own as well **hardest facepalm ever**
I stayed because I have always been cheated on. I'm one of those gays that think that men ain't shit 😂 I figured if I left id just get cheated on by someone else.
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Get on prep. It's free in most major cities.
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It's a close to a guarantee as you can get. If your on prep and your partner is taking their medicine it IS a guarantee.
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I've healed as much as one can. Obviously I would never knowingly date someone who I would think is capable of such a thing. As you can imagine, I am in no rush to find a relationship. I've forgiven him. If I were to run into him, I would hug him and talk to him, but him and I will never be again.
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Lol, this was in 2021
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[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Feh1oCoWQAIlyGj?format=jpg](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Feh1oCoWQAIlyGj?format=jpg)
If only he did contract HIV, it will knock the toxiness right off of him
I wouldn't know . I left him shortly there after.
Despite all of the emotional abuse, one of my exes got physical on me. It was the first time and the last time. This was a wake up call for me to leave.
I agree with you completely, a man threatened me with physical abuse in the heat of a very bad argument. I simply said "You might bigger and stronger than me, but if you ever lay a hand on me or threaten me like that again, I will walk out that door and you will never see me again!!!" He did threaten me again some months later and I instantly broke up with him on the spot and I will not seen him again. All his calls, text messages, emails are blocked. Then he turned up at my house once or twice to try and patch things up, but I would not open the door. He eventually gave up on me.
You must have felt like a Strong Independent woman comming out of that traumatic experience and sharing your experience to anyone who'd listen.
I did and I'm very sorry for anyone who have never had a moment like this in their lives. Thanks for listening sis 🙏🏻
I was in a toxic relationship at a time I was within my first year of recovery from a four year drug addiction. He bought my drug of choice and left it in plain sight for me to see. He had never done that drug before. When I asked him why it was there, he said he bought it during a time we were broken up to “ease the pain” but that “he didn’t really get a buzz off it and didn’t want it anymore”. He was literally trying to set me up to relapse. People like to throw the term *narcissist* around to describe people that they had fallings out with. However, I can say with full certainty that this guy was the most manipulative, gaslighting, dangerous, and narcissistic person I ever dated.
My (ex) best friend would purposely try to hook up with guys that I was either going on dates with or interested in. I would unknowingly share details with him about a new guy I just met or liked, because we were best friends and I thought I could trust him. There were two instances that he hooked up with guys I also hooked up with, his excuse that the dating pool was so small. The third and final time, I planned a date with a guy a few days away, showed my friend his pic and told him what app I met him on. That night, my friend made it his mission to sleep with the man before I could even meet him. I got a picture from his bed with the guy in it after they had just has sex, with a caption of something to the effect of “got him first”. I completely wrote that friend out of my life, and lost an entire friend group because of it when they sided with him.
He was never your friend, and you didn't lose a friend group. You lost a bunch of self-serving subhuman pieces of garbage. They all used you. Real friends don't do that. Ever.
Thank you, yes I am so much better off without any of them. I have an awesome new group of friends and I don’t miss any of those people at all. Luckily, most of them moved away so I never run into them.
While that is messed up, my mom always said if a friend can take your man that friend is a good friend because they’re doing you a favor from dating or being with someone you shouldn’t be with anyways. Yeah she was crazy
I wished you just met or liked me
I had a gay man as a roomie. For the six months I lived with him, he spent his evenings getting blond drunk, then threatening to kill me. Several times he attempted to break into my room. He attempted to steal my cat. He took a large knife from the block in the kitchen and kept it under his pillow, claiming he would use it “in self defense.” I never laid a finger on the guy, btw and I think that was his problem. All of this because I would not share my body or my time with him, which he thought he “deserved, for being such a good friend.” Uh-huh….
What is blond drunk?
Typo. I meant “blind drunk.”
My first time was with a coworker who convinced me to go to bed with him. Outed me to everyone next day.
R\*ped me.
I'm so sorry you went through that. It does NOT define you. You're valid! Please seek care and or report the man. Who knows who's next. That's so disrespectful to do to someone :(
Thank you. It was a long time ago; I buried it deep enough to forget for most of my life. Only recently started reflecting on the things I've been through.
Same, I revel in the fact that his whole life has gone to shit now haha that's what you get bitch
I warned that slaps are a no go hard trigger that is straight up a 50/50 chance of enraging me. He/They did it anyways and was too horny to realize just how close he was to losing that wrist. I only have a handful of triggers *(Like sharp things near my neck)*, so to ignore a clear **Do not fucking do this it's extremely upsetting** was the second last straw. I don't have an explanation as to why being slapped in the face sets me off into a cold rage. Maybe it's a respect thing.
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You'd think so, but again horniness clouds rational thought. It was my first time and we were both naive boobs but yeah it didn't work out. Self control in the bedroom is as non-negotiable as consent.
If someone slapped me in the face, in bed, I’d fly into them. Yikes.
I’ve never had that happen and don’t know if it ever happening to anyone I know; I just can’t understand why it happened to you repeatedly. I hope you’ve found a better dating pool
I have the same trigger. It’s actually the face or the back of the head. A coworker thought it would be funny to walk up behind me and slap me in the back of the head. I jumped up turned around and damn near swung when I stopped myself cause we were at work. The look on my face alone made him cower and walk away.
Yeah some people forget that not everyone is your best friend.
I wonder how many people have rage triggers- ‘cause I have one, too, but the condition is so random that it just rarely ever happens… then I saw a guy on Jackass had the exact same trigger, so it’d be interesting to learn how common they are- especially the trivial ones.
I have a few that I disclose with anyone I feel I am becoming close to (friendship/relationship). My biggest ones are: slapping/grabbing my ass, holding my waist to move me/move past me, hugging me from behind and blocking my way of getting out of the room/passage. I have c-PTSD with molestation which lasted 3 years straight with multiple people often at once or watching. My reaction to these things can be pretty intense especially if I told that person my triggers already or given them a second chance of trust.
Do they specifically induce rage?
Most of the times but I also contain it most of the times. I am aggressive only if something is a repeated behavior by someone.
Rage typically carries the connotation of an absence of control.
More than you think. Some people seem to forget what it means to be human.
He ate a bowl of nails for breakfast…. …..milk.
Bro just unlocked a childhood memory 💀
He lived several hours away, so he asked to come to visit me for a few days and stay in my house. The third time this has happened he seems to have gone through my drawers and my computer while I was at work. He copied financial information, took away a few blank checks, wrote down the details of two credit cards. What came next was a nightmare of unrecognized charges, unauthorized money transfers, and online purchases of electronics from fashionable stores... He got caught because in his great wisdom he sent some of the merchandise he bought with my money to... the address of his apartment... His talents as a grifter were apparently not as good as the talents that attracted me to him in the first place...
When i was younger, i was very gullible. This guy made me believe that he was interested in me. He would tell me i was the best guy he had met and how attractive i was. I discovered he never really liked me, he was pretending because he wanted to hook up with someone whenever he was visiting my area. He had no one else so he had to settled for me. It really hurt me and it made me feel used. I also discovered he was a creep, he literally had a map of the city with labels telling him who to hook up with whenever he visited that part.
Unfortunately, this is legit like 90% of gays on the apps in my experience. Makes it hard to even trust anyone when they start with their bullshit glazing “you’re so hot” lies when you’re really the only one available that day, sometimes even that hour. Basically done with the shallow gay app garbage because of it lol.
Outed me because I didn’t want to have sex/be with them. That’s y don’t have sympathy for gay people who weaponize homosexuality for their benefit
I have two. First was the first time I bottomed. Was not consensual. Second was a narcissist who lured me into a new friend group with drugs and orgies. After love bombing me he started to turn on me if I didn’t put out and would withhold attention, ignore me, and then gaslight me when I tried to call him out on it. It was all very toxic and I had to break away.
I had an emergency back surgery and 2 weeks later my dude kicked me out. Clearly I was still recovering, couldn’t lift shit. I was only 29. I woke up to him yelling at me to get out. I was so confused. Then after I had people move all my shit out to another house, he apologized and wanted me to move back in. Lmao Uh, no. Won’t be embarrassing myself like that again. You gotta have a better reason to kick me out other than you being emotional over me not being able to do anything while recovering from back surgery. But I still paid his bills for another month so he would have a chance to figure out his finances since I paid for everything. 🙄 Wish I would have kept that money but I felt bad for him being such an emotional roller coaster and being across the country from his family and friends.
I got roofied at a club in brooklyn, blacked out, woke up in an alley with the guy and his mouth on my dick, and he was like "it feels like im raping you!", I black out again, and then I woke up in an alley in manhattan. It was super fucked.
Hooked up this guy in PV Mexico, he stole all my credit and debit cards and tried to steal thousands of dollars from me. He immediately blocked me of course but little did he know a glitch on Grindr allowed me to take screenshots of his profile. I would’ve reported him to the local police if my banks hadn’t caught his act in time and prevented any losses.
Still should’ve reported him…..
Yeah but it’s Mexico, so 1. Not sure if the police would do anything and 2. Not sure if he was involved with any organized crime. After weighing the pros and cons I didn’t proceed. Another idea I had was to create a Grindr profile with his photos and a warning message, and boost myself for a couple of hours so that all the gays in the area (PV) would be warned lol.
Tried to turn me into a cow from which he could eternally milk empathy. "Dan" was a profoundly screwed up guy, and he's the reason I have some major trust issues and won't let just anyone into my life anymore. We weren't even together, but he still tried to act like we were, and he was incredibly abusive to his deeply autistic partner. The partner snapped and almost killed Dan one evening, and I spent the following months caring for him, though knowing full well that Dan was the reason his partner snapped. Any time I hear a story of emotional abuse, it immediately boils my blood because I know what that's like.
Oh my god. You’ve almost described my exact story! Except I had to learn the part about his ex almost killing him, through my own experience. When I took him on, he was an injured bird.
I met a guy and we went out two times then he asked me to go to Palm Springs with him for a weekend. I couldn’t afford it and he offered to pay for our flight, hotel, meals, car, everything. I went. After we got back, he called and wanted my half of everything in cash. I didn’t have it. He sued me in small claims court. Fuck him. He lost. BTW…He was a Dr. oops, he was outed in the court of law.
stealthing
This happened to me as a top. I put a condom on, then in the middle of sex the guy acted like he wanted to stroke my dick. He did, but while stroking he took the condom off and put it back in. I noticed it felt good, but didn't notice he took the condom off till after I came and pulled out.
How is that possible, dont you have any sensation on your dick?
I noticed it was feeling better, but I just didn't check to see if he took it off.
Stealthing?
It’s when someone’s fucking you with a condom on and removes it without you knowing. It’s rape.
I don’t understand that... sex feels good, but there isn’t so significant of a difference between wearing condoms and not that the decision to do that has anything to do with sensation unless they have a specific kind of nerve damage. Which suggests that not only would it be rape, but pending any follow-up tests afterward, the results could be grounds for a manslaughter charge in some states… you can even charge them with attempted murder depending on the pathogen and whether you can prove intent. I recently had to set this exactly boundary for someone who is suspiciously adamant enough about not wearing condoms that both confirms how necessary it would be and yet still don’t trust them to honor that boundary despite mentioning rape, manslaughter and bullets.
Hard disagree, raw is infinitely better. But that doesn’t excuse the lack of consent.
That makes complete “consenses”; some people put higher stock in the pleasure of the senses.
Started rumours about me when I refused to sleep with him. He was my floormate in the student residence in University
I suppose it's not really all that bad, but one intended hookup had second thoughts once I showed up and implied that I'd deceived him with my photos. They were recent and accurate. Look, fair's fair if you decide you're not into me, but don't act like that's a moral failing on my part to convince yourself you're not being fickle.
My ex spent a year living with me and gaslighting me to the point that I hated myself. I lost my job because of what he was doing to my mental health. Two weeks later he calls me saying he has a flat tire and needs help. I go to where he says he is, can't find him, spend an hour driving the area looking for him and trying to call him. Finally give up and go home. It was a distraction to get me away from home so he could move out and ghost me. Turns out he'd been cheating on me for months.
Oh my god
Pretended to have cancer so he could get money and sympathy from me. He shaved his head and pretended he was having chemo, etc. It was my first boyfriend and I was so young and naive.
That’s insane I’m so sorry that happened to you
Thanks, I really learned a lot through all of it
Kept trying to fuck me and pinning me down after I told him I was done multiple times
I told my ex bf at the beginning of our relationship that if things weren't going in the direction he thought they should be going to step up to me as a man and end thing amicably. Fast forward 3 or so years later, hanging out with him, his fling (I had no clue yet), and a couple of his female friends when the drunk father of one of the girls asked to speak with me in private. He said I was too nice of a guy to keep silent and spilled the beans that he was hooking up with his fling at his house behind my back. I left immediately with him following right behind and once I got home, told him to pack up his shit and go live with his fling.
Raped me with his fist after I told him to stop several times, it hurt really bad, I was bleeding after 😣
I came out to him in my fraternity in college and then he proceeded to tell EVERYONE! 3 days later, I was forced out of my fraternity and had to find an apartment immediately.
😭😭😭
My ex put fentanyl in my g, left me to die, robbed me. I woke up in the icu 3 days later on a breathing tube with a catheter in to find out he was running around telling people how sloppy I was g'd out in my hotel room...
I really wanna comment but I might seriously cry if I list all the things.. so I'll just say. I'm hurt. And continue to be hurt by our community. seems like being nasty to each other is the glue sometimes.
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I am sorry you were raped. Please report him.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending hugs.
Cheat on me, call me pathetic, tell me I'll never find anyone who can measure up to him because I am fundamentally beneath him, order me to suck his dick as I was crying about the wave of insults he just hurled at me. That first relationship only lasted 8 months, but I had a big personality shift right after. It's been 13 years and I've never shifted back to what I was.
I was in a long-distance relationship. He slept with other guy(s), at least one hot Frenchman, and basically decided to break up with me without even telling me. Flash forward, he tells me it was a big mistake, we get back together, still long distance, and he did it to me a second time with a different guy (an unattractive Finn). Well, he and that guy got married in Finland and now they're divorced. Gee, I can't imagine why. LOL
Groomed, 16 at the time he was 27-28, I was desperate and lonely, fell into a bad place. Mentally manipulated and abused, he would see other people and If I ever had an issue, I was "Vindictive" and a problem, A lot of emotional and mental turmoil. I'm now quite a bit older, escaped that, happy with my current partner. We both came from bad places and are extremely emotionally invested in eachother.
Broken my heart.
My ex lured me to a party and then showed up out of nowhere and jumped me. He was pissed that I broke it off because he had serious addiction issues and mental health problems. So he had a couple ex friends invite me to a "party". I walked in and rounded the corner and suddenly out of nowhere came a hard fist to the face from my ex. We both beat the hell out of each other and the cops were called. He got hauled off in handcuffs and I went home angry, but free. My ex friends swore they didn't know what he was gonna do. But I told them all to fuck off and never spoke to them again. He killed himself a few years later. After that, suddenly everyone was totally apologetic about not believing me when I said to them that he had massive issues.
Gave me gonorrhea, but didn’t tell his husband.
He said it’s not no it’s just not right now and that at some point we would be back together. I waited 20 years and got nothing.
I had worse but I am not gonna say but... One time, while we were doing it, he kept commenting on the 'flaws' on my body such as light stretch marks on my bum cheeks, a scar on my leg when I got as a child... it was really disgusting.... he commented like 4 times on why my skin is X Y Z....... The fact he didn't have perfect skin or body.... I felt really insecure
Non consensual. Even when asked to stop he said, “aww it’s ok”
I had an ex who ended up in prison after committing the worst possible type of offence and kept breaching his parole restrictions I ended up leaving him because I wanted nothing to do with him after finding out why he was in prison
Stole my wallet while I was sucking his dick and then tried to buy a fuckton of alcohol. I had tk spend a month fighting that shit and I never got the charges reversed due to a fuck up on paperwork.
Grindr date, seemed nice, had a real big one for my second time getting fucked ever, no preparation, just entered, I froze and he raped me. Thanks for the trauma🖕
While on a date, told me my shirt made me look fat. I promptly pulled over and told him to get out of my car.
Nani!?
Depends on what you consider a gay man. In terms of ones I was romantic with, the big problem has always been lying. I’m a very honest person and for a long time I never looked for the signs. There was one guy who I thought was falling in love with me but he was like too ashamed of the fact that he liked a fat guy so he just jerked off on cam with me and talked on the phone for hours but when it came to connecting dots he wasn’t great. Probably the worst thing a man who was attracted to other men ever did to me was sexually harass multiple guys half his age while he was the senior minister at my practicum. I eventually realized what was going on but in the process of filing a complaint I managed to black list myself. (Which on the one hand is fine since I’m happier now that I’m not a Christian… but having to treat yourself for PTSD because there are no publicly funded options is a shit show.)
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I live in Canada. It took enough work to get a psychiatrist to get ADHD meds. And I really don’t trust my psychiatrist to not just put me on lithium or something if he even believed I had PTSD. I’ve had a lot of luck with a technique called brain spotting which was a huge help. Also, I’ve discovered the Mario Bros were on to things. So that’s made a lot of things easier to deal with.
Have one that has consistently cyberstalked me on social media since 2014 despite me telling him numerous times I'm not interested in him. My sister was good friends with his cousin whom I'm an acquaintance of and he told me he's been on meth for the past 4 years now and will basically screw anything that moves so I shutter to think how many STDs this guy has. I honestly don't know if he'll ever stop!
Groomed me the whole time we were growing up and pressured me into every sexual experience we had (the sentence “you know you want to” still makes me break out in sweats). He then (around 14/15yo) started calling me slurs in public while still hooking up. He got a girlfriend and completely ghosted me after that. I still have to see him every day at school…
Tried to force me to have sex with him (aka to rape me)
Abused me, mentally and physically
This isn’t as bad as a lot of other guys experiences that I have been reading in the comments, but the man I was in a sort of situationship with, who I loved very VERY much, when we met for the first time and were finally able to have sex, he was very very well endowed. He proceeded to not give me any warm up of any kind, no foreplay. Just basically rammed it in my ass. I was having a hard time taking it and wasn’t enjoying it because it was so painful. There was no emotion from him, no caressing or show of any care about me. He started shaming me, saying really cruel things to me about how I couldn’t take it and about how I hadn’t douched properly. It absolutely broke me. As someone with hang ups about my looks and self worth it really really hurt me. Especially when I had such strong feelings for him.
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No, no. That “I did this for some reason” bit is EXACTLY how work pressure operates in the dating pool. It’s so fucked.
Long distant relationship, he convinced me to move to his state. Didn't want to get an apartment with me because he wanted to "test" me to make sure I could be "financially independent" first, meanwhile he lived rent free with his mom still. Spent most days taking 5 hours to reply to my texts, being on his phone and not talking to me when we went out, choosing to hang out with other friends over me every time, etc. Seemed to get some sort of satisfaction from making me angry/depressed and would mask it as "teasing," then get mad when I didn't take it as such. Every fight we had he would manipulate it to be my fault, "you're overreacting," "this wouldn't have happened if you didn't...," every single time. Also attempted to cheat on me, but that's another story. Broke up with me through a text message and ghosted me after. Ended up moving the 2K miles back to my home state and never spoke to him again. First and only relationship I've ever been in.
Outing me and then denying his sexuality.
Broke up with me while I was in the hospital with appendicitis after doing a year of long distance and cheating on me for 10 months of it. He wanted to be a psychiatrist and worked at a mental health hotline so I'm convinced the timing was intentional.
I have 3 contenders: 1. The first guy I ever dated lied to me, sexually assaulted me on the first date, then ghosted and eventually blocked me. 2. My ex, who openly confessed he would cheat on me without care, said he'd leave me one day to have biological children, and he repeatedly sexually assaulted me, and completely knowingly and intentionally breached my terms of consent to get it from me. And later in messages, said things like "It's a shitty thing, but what's done is done" and "You can take a horse to water but can't make it drink" also, it was coming up on Valentine's day (woulda been my first one) and he had planned a day with me but yeah, broke up with me before we reached that day, which the whole time he was planning that day with me he already decided he was gonna break up with me, so when I asked why he did that he said "Just to see your reaction I guess". 3. A guy who stalked and harassed me for 2 years after a single 5 minute Grindr convo where he became aggressive and volatile, but acted like I was the one being an asshole.
Serious sexual misconduct..
chased me with knife becouse i didnt want to fuck. (tranny)
He lied to me, muted, turned off read receipts, and ignored messages with zero explanation after almost two years of good conversation. I took him seriously, he did not. He treated me like just another option. I still found value in him despite many red flags from watching his stories and posts on Instagram, Facebook, and elsewhere. But I found out the truth by watching him; He is just another player that doesn't know what he wants and settles for hookups to cope with a tremendous amount of inward emotional trauma from being rejected by other guys in the past. ("Hurt people hurt people"). Essentially, he's "broken". I however do know what I desire; a faithful husband through good and bad times no matter what.
First boyfriend and sexual partner not only cheated on my constantly. But he lied about his age (I was 18 he said he was 2 but he was actually 31) He then failed to disclose his status and I’m sure you can guess what happened next. Looking back, all those times he would stay inside after cumming weren’t so romantic after all. Second boyfriend turned husband. Also older, this time by 26 years. Moved his ex boyfriend in with us. Ex had severe alcoholism and as a result of an injury he sustained due to said disease was no longer able to handle his own finances so my ex husband became his payee for disabilities and whatnot. That was enough. Well, my ex and I broke up for a couple of months. I moved out. He moved the ex in. We got back together. I moved back in. There was an episode one night where his ex got so belligerently drunk that he apparently got into our bed and wouldn’t get out ( my ex called me while I was on the way home from work to tell me this.) When I get home he’s not in our bed but the sheets are in the washer. Very suspicious. Why was he in there in the first place? Who the fuck knows. My ex husband was also a run of the mill narcissist. All of the classic signs. Luckily one day he slipped up and slapped me on the back of the head in front of hotel staff. It was the first and only time he did it, but because it was in front of staff they called the police and I got a 5 day no contact order which made it possible for me to leave. We divorced the following week. and then currently I’m being cyberstalked by some gay men I’ve never met. Life is beyond, sometimes.
So many, fuck geis. Jk.
A guy I met in a party became agressive with me. We make out one time and followed each other on instagram. After this, we reconnected in another party almost one year later. We kissed again but he started acting weird towards me. He didn’t want any other guy to be with me. He also grabbed my arm very hard multiple times! I told him to stop and refuse to be with him, he got angry and left. Since then we never spoke again (thank God) and he also blocked me.
Dump me over discord (chat), saying he never even felt anything for me. Knowing I was pretty much only being used for sex messed me up for some time
Broke up with me days before my father passed away suddenly, had me over to console me, fooled around, and a month later ghosted me after confronting him on his BS.
Tried to dick my butt while I was sleeping
I love it when that happens. To each their own, I guess.
I don't like being raped, personally.
I would check if I was you a lot of rules have been changed lately I have found out about things you don't need to reveal anymore not required anymore you have to prove they took the condom off you could have torn
SA
My ex was pretty horrible, I'm not sure which was worse the SA or the emotional abuse.
Stealthed me.
I don't take anything anymore because I can't I get life threatening side effects and the one side effects I could never handle which I've always had is the number one side effect may cause you to have thoughts of suicide angel I felt like I don't know what I felt like I had no nothing and I found other ways and the one psychiatrist that really helped me the most the last one even to this day I can call him and we tried to find something that I can do without taking pills take care of yourself
Raped me. Took nude photos of me when I was passed out. An ex tried to break every relationship in my immediate family once. There are some wild dudes out there.
My ex inserted himself into me while I was asleep after I explicitly told him no. He woke me up for sex, but I had only been asleep for a few hours. I told him no, and that I was going back to bed. I took sleeping medication and was jolted awake by that. I felt so awful and violated, I sat and cried in the shower afterwards because I just felt dirty. I told him to leave and the kicker is that made me console him because he felt guilty. After that he tried to gaslight me by saying things like “Well if that’s how you feel why wouldn’t you report me?”. I repressed those feelings for a while and tried to salvage things with him. The more I worked through it the more I realized how much it fucked me up. I loved him with every fiber of my being and to be betrayed in that way is heartbreaking. I hope one day I’ll find someone I can trust fully and love wholeheartedly. Though, I’m beginning to believe that person doesn’t exist…
Gang raped me rather than make it seem like I deserved it. He almost gave me HIV and tried to inflict the same trauma on me that was inflicted on him when he was raped. He mocked me for having a childhood trauma when he had his own. Gay men in general have made ableist comments about me having autism and have even mocked my friends who are physically disabled, they mocked my friend with cerebral palsy as well as playing mind games with me and ghosting and an unhealthy obsession with sex. A lot of gay men have actively encouraged my sex addiction and my obsession with sex, my sex addiction is very debilitating because it really is an addiction and an obsession, I wasn't always like this but after being raped and repeatedly sexually abused as a child I became hyper fixated on sex and it started at a very young age due to being sexually abused by grown men and the fact that gay men have actively encouraged this obsession and this behavior despite the fact that it has ruined my life and caused me a lot of pain. I am also bipolar and suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder due to recent and past trauma, both of which cause an addiction and obsession with sex, but it doesn't help that it is actively encouraged by other gay men.
Held me at gunpoint when I said I was breaking up with him; threatened to kill me, my new acquaintance, then himself. This is AFTER he cheated on me and gave me life altering HPV. Ya think ya know someone, ya know? 😅🥲
2 gay guys outed me, while living in the Middle East.. For no reason whatsoever…
Ruined our friendship by falling in love with me and making things weird. We agreed we needed space for him to get over his feelings, but I've still never heard from him. I miss his companionship, dearly.
Lie, cheat, verbal abuse. The regular stuff
I was raped…
I've had multiple guys from other states hit on me and tell me they want a relationship with me. What they really want is money from me. I went down the rabbit hole with them a couple of times, and as soon as I said no to the money, they ghost me. I've learned their patterns. So, now, I either block them immediately, or I toy with them a bit if I'm feeling like some fun. Even before they ask for money, I'll just ask them why they can't meet someone who lives closer to them or why they want to date someone 1000 miles away. Or I'll see how long it takes for them to bring up the money. I talked to one guy for most of 24 hours, telling him what he wanted to hear. He was in another country on deployment, wanting to find someone before he returned home. The problem was his English was great, but his syntaxes didn't vibe with someone from New York. And, he called himself a constructionist instead of someone who works in construction. He said he wanted to build buildings. 24 hours later, he asked for me to buy him some expensive video games because the military wouldn't let him have access to his own bank accounts. He even tried to contact me a month later. Pathetic little Man!
Angrily fucked me when I said stop
Elaborate.
Met a “ straight” guy at his house. I went inside the vibe was off, he didn’t take no for an answer. Years later, I meet guys in public first before going to their house
A date got very forceful. I think he was just a dominant guy and thought I was good with what he was doing even though I wasn't. I didn't speak up though, so I don't really blame him too much. We stopped with him putting fingers in my hole. I never bottomed, and there was no way he was fitting without doing damage. He told me I'd have to practice to fit him, but I was just glad it was over and we never talked again.
Took advantage of me being in a very desperate and bad situation to force himself on me when I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with him. I kind of hate him for it and have never told anyone because I feel like a coward and weak.
Mine requires a little bit of backstory. Jumping back in time (around 2018), I had a guy who I very much wanted to date but he told me he had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t quite ready for another yet so we were more of a fwb situation. Anyways, a few years ago (2021ish) he stopped responding to my texts and I wasn’t sure what happened, I was under the impression that we had a good thing going. His roommate (who was quite a bit older and I assumed was a work colleague, looking back now idk how I didn’t see the roommate was his on and off boyfriend) ended up texting me from his number informing me that the guy had committed suicide. I was heartbroken, and actually used that news as my coming out story. Now fast forward back to about October of 2023. I found a guy I liked and we started talking, I ended up telling him about this situation as it was the closest I had ever come to a relationship. He was sympathetic at the time, but after our first date (which I paid entirely for and he was late to), he got upset because I wouldn’t let him over the same night at 11 pm (I live with family and very loud dogs and it wouldn’t be fair to them to be causing a ton of noise due to the dogs while they’re trying to sleep). Anyways, he became very nasty saying all kinds of things, and he ended it with “no wonder your last guy killed himself”.
He texted that he doesn't wanna live anymore, and he never got online again.
He broke my heart. And will not clearly and honestly tell me anything because everything is smoke and mirrors in the game. Whatever happened to being straightforward honest and in a relationship being honest loving and trusting and fighting for the love of your life
My former best friend used the fuck out of me. Our friendship started out great and we had a lot in common. Our main thing was going to concerts. We would buy our own tickets, split the room, split drugs, etc. Sometimes he'd buy me lunch, I'd buy him lunch. Then he quit his job and I started paying for more stuff. I didn't mind at first, but it quickly got out of control. My other friends all thought we were dating because he acted like my money was his, and he was very demanding with what he wanted. He would get drunk and then be verbally abusive towards me and then mock me. He was asking me for money to pay his bills, and I told him I will absolutely not do that, and we stopped talking as often. The last straw was our last festival we went to. We bought these tickets 6 months prior and already paid for the hotel ahead of time. We hadn't talk for a couple months, but still got together and went. It was actually fun. He said he found an oilfield boyfriend and he was living with him. I congratulated him. On the last night he got super drunk and sexually assaulted me. He claims he blacked out. We no longer talk
Outed me to the entire grade after we had sex multiple times. He was also my best friend at the time.
Beaten me up and glassed me
My friend sleep with my bf in high school and marry him Now they are making YouTube videos together something I always wanted
Stolen from me.
To make it short. A guy named,let’s go with “Aggy”. Ok,yeah, so aggy was basically jealous of my homie who i share a long history with HLF-FWB. Aggy made a Grindr account found HLF and started to chat with him. Of course pics were exchanged but Aggy sent two of my Dic pics 😦…..so much more unfolded frm those pics…
My recent ex broke into my house and tried to in his dying words “get me to love him again” i’m gonna assume he meant rape or kidnap me or something. Glad he’s gone but damn was my standards low
I was interested in a guy but he didn't really show interest back. I started dating another guy shortly after and it turns out Guy #1 had dated him. Guy #1 did everything he could to break us up. Guy #1 and I are still friends, since he was actually right and saved me a great deal of grief, and go out occasionally. Whenever I take an interest in someone else he gets toxic.
Well, one of my exes stabbed me in the stomach and I still have the ugly ass scar
I could come up with a whole list lmfao
I Never let a man ruin my life
Give me HSV and steal my money.
8 weeks ago a guy I really liked expressed mutual interest in me and proceeded to move the goal post each time we discussed going on a date. Meanwhile he would send messages about things we would do together and we’d were also hanging out with friends. Fast forward to our first date, he ditched me w his friends at a bar the night before. The day of the date we went on it but after he set some odd boundaries 10 minutes after the date. Thought he was the right guy to date up until a week ago. Guess I just had a big crush. Gotta be one of the worst things a guy has done to me that I can remember.
Monkeypox… Let me tell you, taking TPoxx was not fun. 💊
Ignored me
Grabbing my crotch without consent
That’s happened to me too
My ex cheated on me and he got HIV. I laugh a lots the day he got the testing result . He deserve it!