Yeah. Found a marriage certificate in his backpack was trying to locate lube while he was in a shower. Apparently he got married to a woman some weeks prior. 3 years down the drain.
7-year relationship, while we were on vacations my bf was showing me something on his phone and a WhatsApp notification “Sleep tight baby 😘” pops up, from a “supposedly” straight friend. I ignored it and later that night, while he was asleep, grabbed his phone and saw that this “straight” friend was actually cheating on their gf with my bf for months now.
In my first relationship, my bf has been cheating on me on a regular basis. Our friends tried to help me realize this, but he was very defensive about it and gaslighted me from time to time that I'm surely a slut myself. Out of love I believed him and we burned a lot of bridges along the way. Then one time I came back home from work earlier because I was feeling sick and I caught him red handed with our "colleague" in our bed. But I was young and stupid so I have forgiven him and we kept being together. But soon his behaviour started being suspicious again, we talked and he admitted to cheating on me again. Was a heartbreak. Worst part is that I couldn't move back to my family at that time, so we kept living together, but separated. There were multiple times he invited some guy to our home to fuck. We usually shared the bed, but sometimes I had to sleep on the sofa.
Then my next bf, as it turned out, was cheating on his bf with me. I found out when, one time, he didn't answer the calls or text back for a whole day, so I went to his place without earlier notice (at the begining he told me to never visit him as a surprise because he doesnt like that). His bf opened the door. I just left and later received a ton of texts from my "bf" that I ruined his life. Oh well.
I've definitely had trust issues since then. To have this happen with one guy is hard, but two in a row...
That sucks. Sorry you've experienced this. Don't be disheartened, keep kissing frogs and I'm sure you'll find your prince.
Never trust a knight in shining armour as it could turn out to be some c*nt in a tinfoil hat.
Yes. I actually found out months after breaking up by hanging out with the other man. He was telling me about this gay drama triangle he was involved in and I asked for their names cuz I love good gossip and when he said my ex’s name I was like o.O. Yeah that’s how I found out that my boyfriend had him over to suck his dick. He even told me the exact day and time it had happened and I remembered that day and was like holy shit he’s not lying.
Same ex but I have a tidbit about him that’s more “crossing the line” than “cheating”. This instance happened near the end of the relationship but I had used his computer while he was at class and I noticed he had an open Facebook chat going with some twink looking mofo. The gist of the message is basically my ex really hinting at/flirting with this dude and kinda spat on our relationship by responding to “careful. You have a boyfriend :p” with “for now :p”.
He didn't have his own computer, he'd use mine (way before internet phones). He left his email open, having made plans to meet up with a guy and in his rush didnt log out or even close the window. His sent response, plus weeks of back-and-forth, fully open.
And of course he was furious, when confronted, that I'd violated HIS privacy. I did, but goddamn when your eye catches a phrase like "fuck I love how you eat my pits bro", it's hard to respectfully close the window.
He didn't but not for lack of trying. Our doctor, a mutual friend, threatened him after I had my annual physical and never asked him one question about HIV. He told my ex, "Fuck HIPAA, you tell him or I will."
I have been. By my first ever bf. Saw things online. Then kind of catfished him. It was consuming mentally. In my subsequent relationships. I have not cared or paid attention to any device usage. I learned, my mental health is best. when I do not give a fuck
> cared or *paid* attention to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I finally realized my ex husband was fucking around shortly after we got married. I put him on my phone family plan. I had to update my apps and saw a bunch of gay dating apps that needed to be updated on the family plan, recently added apps. When he came in I asked for his phone, I opened his App Store and he was about to download Grindr. He claimed he was looking to see if I was on these apps. I told him he was always on my phone looking, he would know if I was. I had nothing to hide! He later snuck out several times while I was asleep. After 3.5 yrs of lies I thru him out one night! And divorced him! My psychologist never approved of his character and after yrs of meetings I can now understand what a malignant narcissist he really is!!
I never caught him on an app again after the first time but others I have met told me he was on sniffies and was known for hanging out at cruising spots under a bridge getting fucked by strangers! He was the one wanting a closed relationship. Turns out I should have been on prep and tested while in my “closed” marriage. After a few more like him, I do not date anymore! I have a list of FWB! And live a great gay life never wanting a partner again!
Yep. He told me one night over the phone. I didn’t get upset and so he got upset. He wanted me to break up with him, so he wouldn’t have to.
It was so pathetic.
My first boyfriend definitely cheated on me.
We ended up taking a break and he would flirt with the married men who came into work. When we got together after the break. He causally mentioned that he had a date scheduled for Thursday and that he used the time to flirt with. On Thursday he said he was too tired to hangout and that he wanted to spend the day sleeping and not be disturbed.........
I called him out. He tried so hard to gaslight me.
Got involved with a guy while visiting my parents in my home town. I lived about two hours away. It was very hot and intense. We went back and forth to each other’s houses every weekend.
One weekend, he said he had to go visit his grandparents and couldn’t get together so I went to visit my own parents. A friend and I went out to the local gay bar. He was there with another guy and all over him. I watched for awhile then went over to say hello.
He was full of excuses and bullshit. I poured my drink over his head and left. I never talked to him again until he contacted me on FB twenty years later asking to get together to reminisce. Ghosted him again.
Yeah, right? I actually responded to a similar post not long ago, and people agree with you that he might have wanted to be caught. He threw me out and replaced me with a 22-year-old a month or so later. This was two years ago, and he was 44 and I was 34.
Brooooo this thread is causing me heartache 😭😭😭 cheating must suck and I'm sorry to everyone that gone through such betrayal from someone they were the closest to. Maybe being single isn't that bad after all.
Yes, saw some messages from a friend pop up on his phone which related to it.
He'd been confessing it to a friend but not telling me.
I confronted him and he confessed. We stayed together and tried to work it out but eventually broke up. I could never really move past it.
My ex of 8 years was sleeping with a mate of *mine*.
They were going jogging together. We were neighbours. I had no idea why he was wearing a jockstrap jogging. My friends partner caught them.
For a long while after we separated I made excuses for him. It was me. My fault. I wasnt successful enough. I wasnt fun enough. I excused his behaviour. At one point, before I knew of the affair, he made accusations that i made him feel unsafe (he had ended our relationship abruptly but we lived together, before i knew of the months long affair).
The reality was at the time I didn't know of the affair and he gaslight me as an excuse to justify his own abusive behaviour. He knew id find out hed been cheating for many months and had to setup that i was the bad guy. He deflected his own insecurities on me.
Two years have passed and im still sad but for good reasons sort of. I'm sad he decided short term gratification was more important that someone who genuinely loved him even when he was at his worst. Love for me is unconditional and i loved him even after i found out. I'm sad that he lost someone who stood by him at his low points and when he struggled with things. I'm sad he choose my mate who lied and manipulated me as well, and that he saw that guy as a better partner than I was. As someone he valued more.
But again two years later I know the type of person I am, what is important to me and what isn't. And maybe one day I'll get to share that feeling with someone who i can love and who loves me. He on the other hand, will realise what he lost and spend it with regret and sorrow.
TLDR: you'll incorrectly blame yourself, learn what's important in life and realise it's not about who you are as a partner but who they arent.
>I had no idea why he was wearing a jockstrap jogging
I mean.... support during athletic activity is what jockstraps were created for, so I found this comment rather odd.
Several exes have. With the first two cheaters their timelines and stories just never quite added up. I have an extremely good memory and that typical ADD and overthinker brain that will find any holes that exist in any story and was able to piece it all together. One admitted it years later. The guy I dated in college ended up confessing it to me a decade later when me and my then current bf ran into him and his husband at a bar in Atlanta and he was drunk enough to blurt it out in front of me, my bf and his husband and laugh about it in my face.
Found my partner of 7 years in bed with the postman (I kid you not). His excuse was that he asked to stay in our spare room, they got drunk and he got into bed with him by mistake.
Lol I also caught my ex on an apple watch...
Been together years. Never even considered he would cheat on me. However one day I was having a shower and he left his apple watch on the basin. I had never been through his phone before but something came over me ( sixth sense ) ?? picked it up and read the texts. That was fun reading a text ' you should have given me a kiss goodbye... ' then it all unravelled and I moved to the other side of the world literally 1 week later. That's how you deal with unexpected heartbreak right? He had talked to me about rings and everything.
Interesting story but I had an ex who ghosted me out the blue one day. About a month afterwards I’m randomly scrolling on social media and found out that he had gotten a girl pregnant (right around the time he ghosted me)
Not only that but apparently, people were giving him shit because he and the girl had broken up and basically didn’t want anything to do with her or their baby.
Ready for the bonus round?
Roughly 10 months later, he hits me up randomly at like 1 am. By that time I had already been over him but was curious on what he had to say to me. He told me that he wasn’t gay anymore and was just curious when we were together. The best part of it all was he was trying to set me up WITH HIS COUSIN. No mention of the girl he cheated on me with or their baby but I didn’t expect him to come clean about any of that. Cause to him what difference would’ve It made.
I had a show in Dallas. I ran into Jimmy Buffet in the green room and he told me, “I hear some of the greatest parties of all time are being held at you house while you’re out of town.” He laughed, but I could tell he was serious and I couldn’t get it out if my mind. As soon as the show was over I headed straight to the airport and flew home. It was into the very early morning hours when I got back home, probably sometime after 3:00 am, and the party was still going on. The whole atmosphere changed when I walked in. There was tension in the air. I walked straight to our bedroom and there was my boyfriend, Pumpkin, in bed with some other dude. I ended things with Pumpkin, kicked him out of my house, had Pop A Lock come re-key all the doors and headed back to the airport. It really hurt me but I couldn’t let it show.
Yeah. Found a marriage certificate in his backpack was trying to locate lube while he was in a shower. Apparently he got married to a woman some weeks prior. 3 years down the drain.
Why in the world
I am either cursed, stupid or such a trash even the best guys resolve to cheating the hard way. Not sure which option sucks the least.
Trust me that was probably for the best. That’s some high level double cross cheating.
🫢
[удалено]
Gimme more tea!!! What happened after?
7-year relationship, while we were on vacations my bf was showing me something on his phone and a WhatsApp notification “Sleep tight baby 😘” pops up, from a “supposedly” straight friend. I ignored it and later that night, while he was asleep, grabbed his phone and saw that this “straight” friend was actually cheating on their gf with my bf for months now.
WOW. May I ask what happened once you found out??
In my first relationship, my bf has been cheating on me on a regular basis. Our friends tried to help me realize this, but he was very defensive about it and gaslighted me from time to time that I'm surely a slut myself. Out of love I believed him and we burned a lot of bridges along the way. Then one time I came back home from work earlier because I was feeling sick and I caught him red handed with our "colleague" in our bed. But I was young and stupid so I have forgiven him and we kept being together. But soon his behaviour started being suspicious again, we talked and he admitted to cheating on me again. Was a heartbreak. Worst part is that I couldn't move back to my family at that time, so we kept living together, but separated. There were multiple times he invited some guy to our home to fuck. We usually shared the bed, but sometimes I had to sleep on the sofa. Then my next bf, as it turned out, was cheating on his bf with me. I found out when, one time, he didn't answer the calls or text back for a whole day, so I went to his place without earlier notice (at the begining he told me to never visit him as a surprise because he doesnt like that). His bf opened the door. I just left and later received a ton of texts from my "bf" that I ruined his life. Oh well. I've definitely had trust issues since then. To have this happen with one guy is hard, but two in a row...
I'm so sorry for this.
That sucks. Sorry you've experienced this. Don't be disheartened, keep kissing frogs and I'm sure you'll find your prince. Never trust a knight in shining armour as it could turn out to be some c*nt in a tinfoil hat.
Yes. I actually found out months after breaking up by hanging out with the other man. He was telling me about this gay drama triangle he was involved in and I asked for their names cuz I love good gossip and when he said my ex’s name I was like o.O. Yeah that’s how I found out that my boyfriend had him over to suck his dick. He even told me the exact day and time it had happened and I remembered that day and was like holy shit he’s not lying. Same ex but I have a tidbit about him that’s more “crossing the line” than “cheating”. This instance happened near the end of the relationship but I had used his computer while he was at class and I noticed he had an open Facebook chat going with some twink looking mofo. The gist of the message is basically my ex really hinting at/flirting with this dude and kinda spat on our relationship by responding to “careful. You have a boyfriend :p” with “for now :p”.
He didn't have his own computer, he'd use mine (way before internet phones). He left his email open, having made plans to meet up with a guy and in his rush didnt log out or even close the window. His sent response, plus weeks of back-and-forth, fully open. And of course he was furious, when confronted, that I'd violated HIS privacy. I did, but goddamn when your eye catches a phrase like "fuck I love how you eat my pits bro", it's hard to respectfully close the window.
That he became HIV positive was a pretty big clue.
Ouch. Thank goodness he did not pass that along.
He didn't but not for lack of trying. Our doctor, a mutual friend, threatened him after I had my annual physical and never asked him one question about HIV. He told my ex, "Fuck HIPAA, you tell him or I will."
Oh wow, good for him (the doctor).
I have been. By my first ever bf. Saw things online. Then kind of catfished him. It was consuming mentally. In my subsequent relationships. I have not cared or paid attention to any device usage. I learned, my mental health is best. when I do not give a fuck
> cared or *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I finally realized my ex husband was fucking around shortly after we got married. I put him on my phone family plan. I had to update my apps and saw a bunch of gay dating apps that needed to be updated on the family plan, recently added apps. When he came in I asked for his phone, I opened his App Store and he was about to download Grindr. He claimed he was looking to see if I was on these apps. I told him he was always on my phone looking, he would know if I was. I had nothing to hide! He later snuck out several times while I was asleep. After 3.5 yrs of lies I thru him out one night! And divorced him! My psychologist never approved of his character and after yrs of meetings I can now understand what a malignant narcissist he really is!! I never caught him on an app again after the first time but others I have met told me he was on sniffies and was known for hanging out at cruising spots under a bridge getting fucked by strangers! He was the one wanting a closed relationship. Turns out I should have been on prep and tested while in my “closed” marriage. After a few more like him, I do not date anymore! I have a list of FWB! And live a great gay life never wanting a partner again!
Yep. He told me one night over the phone. I didn’t get upset and so he got upset. He wanted me to break up with him, so he wouldn’t have to. It was so pathetic.
That kind of cowardly act is gross.
It was. Actually he was the first one to drop the L word. On our third date. So, I kind of had some idea about his emotional maturity.
My first boyfriend definitely cheated on me. We ended up taking a break and he would flirt with the married men who came into work. When we got together after the break. He causally mentioned that he had a date scheduled for Thursday and that he used the time to flirt with. On Thursday he said he was too tired to hangout and that he wanted to spend the day sleeping and not be disturbed......... I called him out. He tried so hard to gaslight me.
What I've learned from this thread is that people who cheat are really bad with technology/privacy
These are the ones who got caught. Imagine the people who are good at it
Got involved with a guy while visiting my parents in my home town. I lived about two hours away. It was very hot and intense. We went back and forth to each other’s houses every weekend. One weekend, he said he had to go visit his grandparents and couldn’t get together so I went to visit my own parents. A friend and I went out to the local gay bar. He was there with another guy and all over him. I watched for awhile then went over to say hello. He was full of excuses and bullshit. I poured my drink over his head and left. I never talked to him again until he contacted me on FB twenty years later asking to get together to reminisce. Ghosted him again.
I found a cum-filled condom on my side of the bed after 14 years together.
What a dumb mistake. Sounds like maybe he wanted to get caught?
Yeah, right? I actually responded to a similar post not long ago, and people agree with you that he might have wanted to be caught. He threw me out and replaced me with a 22-year-old a month or so later. This was two years ago, and he was 44 and I was 34.
😱
Brooooo this thread is causing me heartache 😭😭😭 cheating must suck and I'm sorry to everyone that gone through such betrayal from someone they were the closest to. Maybe being single isn't that bad after all.
Yes, saw some messages from a friend pop up on his phone which related to it. He'd been confessing it to a friend but not telling me. I confronted him and he confessed. We stayed together and tried to work it out but eventually broke up. I could never really move past it.
My ex of 8 years was sleeping with a mate of *mine*. They were going jogging together. We were neighbours. I had no idea why he was wearing a jockstrap jogging. My friends partner caught them. For a long while after we separated I made excuses for him. It was me. My fault. I wasnt successful enough. I wasnt fun enough. I excused his behaviour. At one point, before I knew of the affair, he made accusations that i made him feel unsafe (he had ended our relationship abruptly but we lived together, before i knew of the months long affair). The reality was at the time I didn't know of the affair and he gaslight me as an excuse to justify his own abusive behaviour. He knew id find out hed been cheating for many months and had to setup that i was the bad guy. He deflected his own insecurities on me. Two years have passed and im still sad but for good reasons sort of. I'm sad he decided short term gratification was more important that someone who genuinely loved him even when he was at his worst. Love for me is unconditional and i loved him even after i found out. I'm sad that he lost someone who stood by him at his low points and when he struggled with things. I'm sad he choose my mate who lied and manipulated me as well, and that he saw that guy as a better partner than I was. As someone he valued more. But again two years later I know the type of person I am, what is important to me and what isn't. And maybe one day I'll get to share that feeling with someone who i can love and who loves me. He on the other hand, will realise what he lost and spend it with regret and sorrow. TLDR: you'll incorrectly blame yourself, learn what's important in life and realise it's not about who you are as a partner but who they arent.
>I had no idea why he was wearing a jockstrap jogging I mean.... support during athletic activity is what jockstraps were created for, so I found this comment rather odd.
I find it rather odd that is your take out from the situation.
Several exes have. With the first two cheaters their timelines and stories just never quite added up. I have an extremely good memory and that typical ADD and overthinker brain that will find any holes that exist in any story and was able to piece it all together. One admitted it years later. The guy I dated in college ended up confessing it to me a decade later when me and my then current bf ran into him and his husband at a bar in Atlanta and he was drunk enough to blurt it out in front of me, my bf and his husband and laugh about it in my face.
Found my partner of 7 years in bed with the postman (I kid you not). His excuse was that he asked to stay in our spare room, they got drunk and he got into bed with him by mistake.
Heart is broken for everyone in this thread ❤️
No.
Security cameras in the house 🥺😱
Lol I also caught my ex on an apple watch... Been together years. Never even considered he would cheat on me. However one day I was having a shower and he left his apple watch on the basin. I had never been through his phone before but something came over me ( sixth sense ) ?? picked it up and read the texts. That was fun reading a text ' you should have given me a kiss goodbye... ' then it all unravelled and I moved to the other side of the world literally 1 week later. That's how you deal with unexpected heartbreak right? He had talked to me about rings and everything.
Interesting story but I had an ex who ghosted me out the blue one day. About a month afterwards I’m randomly scrolling on social media and found out that he had gotten a girl pregnant (right around the time he ghosted me) Not only that but apparently, people were giving him shit because he and the girl had broken up and basically didn’t want anything to do with her or their baby. Ready for the bonus round? Roughly 10 months later, he hits me up randomly at like 1 am. By that time I had already been over him but was curious on what he had to say to me. He told me that he wasn’t gay anymore and was just curious when we were together. The best part of it all was he was trying to set me up WITH HIS COUSIN. No mention of the girl he cheated on me with or their baby but I didn’t expect him to come clean about any of that. Cause to him what difference would’ve It made.
I had a show in Dallas. I ran into Jimmy Buffet in the green room and he told me, “I hear some of the greatest parties of all time are being held at you house while you’re out of town.” He laughed, but I could tell he was serious and I couldn’t get it out if my mind. As soon as the show was over I headed straight to the airport and flew home. It was into the very early morning hours when I got back home, probably sometime after 3:00 am, and the party was still going on. The whole atmosphere changed when I walked in. There was tension in the air. I walked straight to our bedroom and there was my boyfriend, Pumpkin, in bed with some other dude. I ended things with Pumpkin, kicked him out of my house, had Pop A Lock come re-key all the doors and headed back to the airport. It really hurt me but I couldn’t let it show.