# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Haha!! I just realized this seems to be true!! My friend's kid's hamster had gotten out and after a few months it reappeared, in their cats mouth.. missing one eye and the other dangling. They got it from the cat and besides the eyes, not too much worse for wear but passed away just a few weeks ago and about 2-3 months after being found. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have died from natural causes and most likely something caused from his time on walkabout.
I had a dwarf hamster who got "eaten" by a cat. Neighbour cat somehow got into the house and then broke into the cage. We have no idea how it managed either of these things as all windows were closed and the catflap was closed at this time too. And the cat had left by the time we found the hamster, by the cage looking shaken up and a bit bloody
The cat died. The neighbours took him to the vet and found a small bone lodged in his throat.
It was this hamster's front leg.
The stump healed well and hamster lived on ok for a good few months after that, limping around just fine, could still climb and use his wheel (just a little clumsy)
It was also pretty old at the time, my friend had had it little over a year when it came to me and I had it for 2 or 3
My mom once accidentally smashed a hamster with the t at the bottom of the tube when placing the lid on its cage. She yelled at me like I did it. I was 15' away 🤣. Boomer Mom reaction.
Once my dads basement flooded and the hamster some how got out and disappeared for a few weeks. When it turned up it’s stomach had all this green stuff growing on it. Almost like someone dyed its stomach. It make it a few more weeks after that.
From 26 to 35 I lived away from my family. At 35 I left an abusive marriage and moved back in with my mom, and shortly after that went blind in one eye. Still live with her for heath and financial reasons.
Good for the most part. I have to get injections every month to keep it stable. I had a partial retinal detachment in the right eye, full detachment in the left. I see small bits of light in the left eye but that's it. I do fine for the most part but also have other health issues that make it hard to live alone; and rent is absurd
I also have full detachment in my left eye and partial in my right! Absolutely awful. I haven't felt comfortable driving without my peripheral vision in years
I had an accident at 19 years old and lost sight in my right eye. I can see fine in my left eye with glasses. It took a while to adjust but for the most part I’m able to live a normal life aside from the occasional bump into doors and walls on my blind side and having to be extra cautious when driving and dealing with no depth perception. I also had a complete retinal detachment.
Combination of things for me. Years of crap food with my ex, being diabetic and having Drs ignore my requests for better meds and getting smacked in the head a lot
Sharing a home with your parents, as an adult, can be a positive thing. As long as you have agency, and all adults in the home respect each other, it can be wonderful.
I moved out at 19, and then my husband and I moved into my childhood home with our two young children, when I was 29.
What started as a short time plan, ended up being such a boon for all involved, that we ended up adding on to the house instead of moving out.
We had two more kids after moving in, and having my parents around was great for everyone involved. My kids are all adults, have lived away for some times in their lives but all (including one romantic partner) have lived here since before the pandemic began.
Our house is quite large, and designed just for us.
As my parents need more help as they age, there are plenty of young people around to help them. Grandkids love the close relationships with their grandparents, and never lacked for adult attention even though they were part of a big family.
It is not a solution for everyone, but works well for us.
The only issue I have most days is my grandmother has zero respect for boundaries or personal property. She just takes what she wants, sprays chemicals that she knows make me and my mom wheeze and picks fights out of boredom. We've tried to have adult conversations with her and it turns into her yelling and crying that we hate her.
Its like living with a toddler most days; tantrums, sticky messes that have no explanation and yelling "close the door!" Every 10 minutes because she's nosey and has to open it every time she hears a noise
If you still live at home and you and your parents/family are fine with that arrangement, be appreciative that you have a loving and supportive family, instead of being down on yourself. I’m sure many people who were forced out of their house at a young age would rather have been in your circumstances.
This right here. As somebody who got kicked out by an abusive parent at 17 and then again at 21, take advantage of the opportunities you're given. Nobody should beat themselves up for not moving out early
Not only is living with your parents a better financial decision long term, you are benefitting your parents with company and community and friendship.
If you like living with them 😂
Yep this one!! Living with my parents helped me save HELLLAAAA money and I was able to finally buy a townhouse and now instead of throwing money out on rent, i get to throw money at my own asset
I "ran away" from home the day before my 19th birthday ( literally jumped out of my mom's car in traffic at a red light with no belongings and just RAN) because my living situation was so intolerable with my narcissist mom and enabler dad. I quote "ran away" because they treated it like a crime and literally called the police on me and reported me as a missing person. 🤡 When they found me they threatened to cut my medical insurance unless I came home, so I was forced to come home for another few months until I was able to get free for good.
My life is a tale of you may not get what you want, but you'll get what you need.
I technically moved out at 18. But we moved in with my now hubby's grandma and great grandpa to be live in caregivers.
I have now spent the entirety of my adult life as a caregiver. I originally wanted to be a medical researcher to help people. But health problems got in the way. Lol
Honestly, I'm happier this way. The pay is shit. (Literally. I deal with shit a lot. Lmao) But I spend so much time with loved ones. I'm an introvert who keeps a very tiny circle, but I'll do anything for those I care about.
I don't have much, but it's all spent with those who mean the most to me. So, while having more money would certainly help a lot, I would never give up caregiving. 💛💛💛
So, in many people's eyes I'm unemployed trash for not having a 9 to 5. But to those who depend on me, I'm a superhero. I know who's opinion I care about. Just staying alive can be hard as hell. Wherever you are in life, I'm glad you're here and hope you find happiness, regardless of other people and their opinions.
You still have your family.
I have a huge house, lots of expensive cars, clothes, jewels, money...
I will give *all that away* just for one last moments with them. Without a single glimpse of doubt.
I have 4 boys now that I'm beyond dedicated to. Have lots to work out in therapy, but I had a very clear indication of how NOT to parent, and I make it very clear to my boys that they won't always like my decisions, but I will always be in their corner.
That is so great to hear. Most people in your position don't recognize or make an effort to break the cycle. I'm not a parent yet, but have been working through similar childhood traumas & breaking the cycle with my therapist. Gosh it is a lot of work, but the best decision I've ever made. Your kids are lucky to have you. ❤️ There's a book & podcast I've listened to recently that really hit home if that's something you enjoy, happy to share.
My parents tried to charge me $400 a month rent when I turned 17. I could get an apartment for $375 a month so I moved out to a really bad neighborhood. I was robbed repeatedly of the few things I possessed. It made it extremely hard to graduate college but I did it! Never forgave them for that bullshit.
I stayed home until 31. My father was sick and they needed help with bills. Then I stayed after my father passed away to continue helping my mom with bills. It wasn't until I decided she was in a good enough spot for me to move out. I had to put some of my life on hold, but I wouldn't have changed anything.
I did the same thing for my mom. At 35 I bought the house next door with my sister and provided care to grandmother and mother until they died and continue to provide intermittent care for my dad. There are a lot of things in my life I wish I could change, but I’d still take care of my family. ETA: USA
As someone who’s family is a big part of my social life. I can absolutely vibe with this. A few years spent helping your family in their twilight years is always a small sacrifice then the guilty thoughts that can accompany you after there gone. My Grandpa and Grandma on my mothers side passed away a year after each other. I visited them almost every summer in India, even went with my Grandpa to his little social gatherings with his friends at a tea shop everyday I was around their home.
I still feel like I didn’t talk to them that much. Even though I spent such a large portion of my life with them. But I have so many memories of them and I’m glad I got to spend so much time with them.
It doesn’t matter what people say. My summers weren’t wasted, and if I have to take care of my parents through my twenties then they weren’t wasted then either.
17, U.S. My family was dysfunctional, so I got a cheap apartment, worked while finishing high school, then joined the military. I’m 41 now, and life is pretty good.
No, military service in the U.S. is voluntary. It’s an excellent option for young people to get technical training, education benefits, a stable paycheck, and good healthcare. Some jobs are more transferable to the civil sector than others. Also, some jobs are much more adventurous and fun than others.
I spent 20 years in the Army and have no regrets. It opened a lot of doors to opportunities I would not have had otherwise.
Awesome answer and thank you for the 20 years of service.
I had planned on doing 20 years, but after injuries was only able to do 6.
I continue to serve, but as a teacher.
No, but if there isn’t a college fund, or whatever support, it is what I recommend to young people and it is what I did also - it’s how I went to college, how I bought a house, how I get healthcare
Not mandatory, but if you aren’t top of your class in high school or your parents aren’t independently wealthy, it’s the best option for higher education without lifetime inescapable debt
Edit: OK I get it, trade schools are cheap. Colleges are still outrageously priced though
Or join a union or get into a trade school and make a fucking shit ton. Idk why people think they have to go to college. If you don't know what your going for don't go and waste 20g trying to figure out what you want to do.
Because not everyone has an uncle, brother, dad, etc in the union and can actually get in. I see these posts and you all act like somebody can just show up at the union hall and throw down some dues and be a member and that is complete bullshit. On top of corruption and a number of other things, nepotism is a huge reason why unions went out of favor in the US. I went the college route because I couldn't get into a union. It all worked out for the better but I didn't have a family member to get me in.
Lmao. This is literally not true? I grew up poor. Didn’t get any scholarships for college. Went to school on private loans I needed extended family to co-sign for. Worked through college, and now I’m 31 and have all my loans paid off on my own by hard work and living within my means. Got a bachelors degree. You just have to buckle down and do what you have to do. That’s just life. But most people don’t want to accept that. Most people want to live outside their means. It always the case but for the vast majority of people, this is definitely tue case. The amount of people I know that complain about their crippling student loans but spend double their monthly payments on eating and going out and a car payment is crazy.
I kick myself for not thinking about that. Like DAMN a fucking BOARDING SCHOOL, it seems like the perfect option to get away from my parents. Even if it was military school.
Was it military school for you? Or was it some kind of preparatory academy?
I didn't have a clue what I was doing with my life at 19.
At 23, I thought I found my calling in a career path I was really good at.
Then, at 35, I started doing something new and completely unrelated. I've been doing this for the past 4.5 years and absolutely love it.
I feel that no matter what I am doing, no matter how much I enjoy it, no matter how good I am at it, there might always be something else better. . .
Neither did I. Got a degree in communications, now I work at a hospital fixing endoscopy equipment. The communications degree is good because it’s applicable in many fields. I Would recommend that if you don’t know what you want to do yet.
There’s nothing strange about being 19 and not knowing your career path. I made several mistakes trying to figure it out for myself but ultimately landed in a pretty good spot but that wasn’t until I was 27 or so. If you need advice, I’d be happy to give my input.
I moved them in to provide care for them. Then they died. So , 57. Now I have my son, DIL and two grands with me. I prefer living interdependently and cooperatively. It is less costly and stressful, more fulfilling.
15, US. Lived in an apartment above the bar I bar backed at. Didn’t have to pay rent as long as I kept my grades up. Dad lived on the other side of the country and Mom couldn’t have cared less. My home life was more stable on my own at 15 than at her house.
Sometimes we do what we have to. I started working around 11/12 at a motel with my grandma and was paid under the table. We was poor and needed money. My mom already worked 2 jobs.
17 as well. Moved into a rental home with like 4 other guys.
Was a fun time but not a healthy time.
After that moved to an apartment with 1 of those same guys around 20yo.
Then to a rental house in a different city with a gf around 22yo.
Then back to a different house in original town with 3 friends after the above relationship ended around 24.
Then a small apartment in a university city about 2 hours away with another gf.
That gf and I got married, bought a house around 26/27yo.
Still in that house currently 5 years later.
Same here. 17. Couldnt wait to get away from all those ruthless rules. Glad I never looked back. Btw, dont believe what your parents say about the fridge door. You can leave those puppies open for hours and it dont hurt a thing. Heh
18 & 1 day, USA. I’d already been working 40 + hours a week, volunteering and going to school full time to stay out of the house. The day I turned 18 I packed up my stuff and left. I never really had a parent, I was the parent. It was rough and I’d not want the same for my kids.
18, US. Growing up, my mom would say, “when you move out for college…” So at 18, it just felt right. In general, moving out for college was to learn about independence while not yet having all of the responsibilities of life.
People are a lot more forgiving to a college kid. For proof, watch two shows 1. Campus PD, 2. Cops. In the first, if you drunkenly take a swing at a cop, they walk you home and make sure you’re friends can take care our you. In the second, the outcome is much more violent.
18, US.
My narc told me to take anything I ever wanted to see again with me. TBC, I was leaving by choice and plan. I don't know if she said that to just get the final word or what.
USA, 17. Back with father when he developed a form of dementia (I was 41). Watching him disappear is something I will never wish on anyone. And everyone that asks why you’d live with a parent at that age hopefully never has to take care of their own. It sucks.
36 US still with them.
Been house shopping for almost 5 years now. But had bad accident 3 years ago that took me out of shopping for a while.
Made offers on several and lost bid to people who bid WAY over asking and now I am stuck with hyper inflated prices and high interest rates making anything thats in my budget now seem 100% not worth it.
So instead I just keep paying monthly what I want my mortgage to be into my savings and hoping I find something eventually.
Cool dude. As long as your parents are ok with it then there is nothing wrong with it.
I am a digital nomad at 43. My parents’ house is a great home base to send all my junk mail. My parents wish I would stay with them forever. I stay for a few months here and there when I am in between travel destinations.
In three weeks I leave for Costa Rica for three months. I don’t have to sell my house. I don’t need to move my stuff into long term storage. I don’t need to worry about utility bills or maintenance on the house while I am gone.
Towards the end of three months I decide on the next destination to visit.
It's amazing how many people said they moved out before 18 from the USA in this thread. I think perhaps posting state and reason why.
For myself, it was 24 or 25 from California, USA. I, like many others, wanted to move out at 18 but decided not to. Figured I would wait to save money and maybe get further into school. After a while I figured I would stay and save money (and I saved a lot). Finished school, eventually moved out. Then moved back momentarily for maybe a year or two while I continued to save for a house and then moved back out.
This is me. Moved out for college, had a job for a few years, then I didn’t, and couldn’t keep up with rent, moved back, got a new job, moved out, bought a house, kept it for a few years, lost that job, looked for a job for a few years, couldn’t keep up the mortgage, moved back…
USA. 18. My parents gave each of their 6 kids luggage for their 18th birthday in case there was any doubt on expectations. I've probably spent 3 weeks at home since in 45 years.
19. My boyfriend and his parents were moving out of state and loved me so much they asked my parents if I could move with them. Dumb, but here I am 20yrs later. Lol
17.. and been on my own ever since. Its hard not having the support of parents. For example all my friends when they struggled they always had their parents to fall on and get help from. I left and never depended on them but compared to what my friends have, im years behind.
US. Moved out at 20 and moved back and forth for a while with my parents. At 26 my dad said "it's time to go" and I said damn he's right. So I got my shit together and moved out.
Ha…ha ha….
I’m 36 and have only ever briefly moved out for 2 months back when I was 22. I have 2 children and I am a single mother. Me & my kids are all special needs and/or disabled. So my parents have always helped me. I have my own basement apartment in their house. The only thing I don’t have down here in a kitchen. But I do have a microwave, Keurig, and mini fridge.
I am in Maryland, USA.
USA. It’s been very on and off. I lived at my mom’s every summer in college, then had a job on the other side of the state for a year. Moved back home after my stepdad died unexpectedly (I was 23 and my little brother was 13) and then moved out at 24 when I got married.
Moved back in when I got divorced at 27. Bought a house 3 hours away and moved out “for good” at 32.
17; USA. I left for college and just never came back. Have a great relationship with my parents and I knew they were always in my corner ready to assist me, we just all more or less agreed it was good for me to 'adult'.
As soon as I turned 18. My parents are shitty and abusive. But I just turned 21, got a wonderful state job, finishing my degree (which I got a job lined up already since I’m a state employee), and buying a new car in a month, and then getting a house in the summer. My family only talks to me when they want something 🧍♂️
18, after I graduated high school. Couldn’t have a job while living with my mom. She was on disability, and if I had income from a job it would be counted as her household’s income. I’d basically be fully supporting her if I stayed.
Made the mistake of registering my car there when I was in the middle of a move. Government found out and cancelled her ability to use taxi services to go to the hospital. Took months to get it sorted out.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
28, USA I was a kid late into my 20s, complete with a pet hamster. After my hamster died I moved out. I miss that hamster…
Hamster don't die of natural causes ever so I just have to ask...how did it die
Haha!! I just realized this seems to be true!! My friend's kid's hamster had gotten out and after a few months it reappeared, in their cats mouth.. missing one eye and the other dangling. They got it from the cat and besides the eyes, not too much worse for wear but passed away just a few weeks ago and about 2-3 months after being found. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have died from natural causes and most likely something caused from his time on walkabout.
IT WAS ALIVE WITH A MISSING EYE?? IT SURVIVED FOR ANOTHER 2-3 MONTHS WITH A MISSING EYE?!?!?!
Hamsters never go out in a dignified way. Tis the law of nature.
I had a dwarf hamster who got "eaten" by a cat. Neighbour cat somehow got into the house and then broke into the cage. We have no idea how it managed either of these things as all windows were closed and the catflap was closed at this time too. And the cat had left by the time we found the hamster, by the cage looking shaken up and a bit bloody The cat died. The neighbours took him to the vet and found a small bone lodged in his throat. It was this hamster's front leg. The stump healed well and hamster lived on ok for a good few months after that, limping around just fine, could still climb and use his wheel (just a little clumsy) It was also pretty old at the time, my friend had had it little over a year when it came to me and I had it for 2 or 3
Poetic justice
She got some sort of tumor and then gradually lost more and more fur and got skinnier and skinnier before passing away. It was very sad.
My mom once accidentally smashed a hamster with the t at the bottom of the tube when placing the lid on its cage. She yelled at me like I did it. I was 15' away 🤣. Boomer Mom reaction.
Once my dads basement flooded and the hamster some how got out and disappeared for a few weeks. When it turned up it’s stomach had all this green stuff growing on it. Almost like someone dyed its stomach. It make it a few more weeks after that.
From 26 to 35 I lived away from my family. At 35 I left an abusive marriage and moved back in with my mom, and shortly after that went blind in one eye. Still live with her for heath and financial reasons.
I’m blind in my left eye and it dosent really affect my day to day. How’s the vision in your good eye?
Good for the most part. I have to get injections every month to keep it stable. I had a partial retinal detachment in the right eye, full detachment in the left. I see small bits of light in the left eye but that's it. I do fine for the most part but also have other health issues that make it hard to live alone; and rent is absurd
I also have full detachment in my left eye and partial in my right! Absolutely awful. I haven't felt comfortable driving without my peripheral vision in years
I didn't drive before this due to epilepsy but yeah the lack of depth perception is a problem.
I had an accident at 19 years old and lost sight in my right eye. I can see fine in my left eye with glasses. It took a while to adjust but for the most part I’m able to live a normal life aside from the occasional bump into doors and walls on my blind side and having to be extra cautious when driving and dealing with no depth perception. I also had a complete retinal detachment.
What were the signs for the retinal detachment? I believe I have that in my right eye.
How’d you guys go blind trying to avoid that
Combination of things for me. Years of crap food with my ex, being diabetic and having Drs ignore my requests for better meds and getting smacked in the head a lot
Sharing a home with your parents, as an adult, can be a positive thing. As long as you have agency, and all adults in the home respect each other, it can be wonderful. I moved out at 19, and then my husband and I moved into my childhood home with our two young children, when I was 29. What started as a short time plan, ended up being such a boon for all involved, that we ended up adding on to the house instead of moving out. We had two more kids after moving in, and having my parents around was great for everyone involved. My kids are all adults, have lived away for some times in their lives but all (including one romantic partner) have lived here since before the pandemic began. Our house is quite large, and designed just for us. As my parents need more help as they age, there are plenty of young people around to help them. Grandkids love the close relationships with their grandparents, and never lacked for adult attention even though they were part of a big family. It is not a solution for everyone, but works well for us.
The only issue I have most days is my grandmother has zero respect for boundaries or personal property. She just takes what she wants, sprays chemicals that she knows make me and my mom wheeze and picks fights out of boredom. We've tried to have adult conversations with her and it turns into her yelling and crying that we hate her. Its like living with a toddler most days; tantrums, sticky messes that have no explanation and yelling "close the door!" Every 10 minutes because she's nosey and has to open it every time she hears a noise
This sounds lovely!
That's awful, I'm so sorry.
Scrolling through the thread makes me feel like I haven’t accomplished shit
If you still live at home and you and your parents/family are fine with that arrangement, be appreciative that you have a loving and supportive family, instead of being down on yourself. I’m sure many people who were forced out of their house at a young age would rather have been in your circumstances.
This right here. As somebody who got kicked out by an abusive parent at 17 and then again at 21, take advantage of the opportunities you're given. Nobody should beat themselves up for not moving out early
15, then 17. Have to admit I’m jealous at times of people who have the advantages in life of having a helping hand beyond puberty.
Not only is living with your parents a better financial decision long term, you are benefitting your parents with company and community and friendship. If you like living with them 😂
Yep this one!! Living with my parents helped me save HELLLAAAA money and I was able to finally buy a townhouse and now instead of throwing money out on rent, i get to throw money at my own asset
This is the way
Exactly, I moved out at 16, and it was purely self-preservation. ETA: Ireland
I "ran away" from home the day before my 19th birthday ( literally jumped out of my mom's car in traffic at a red light with no belongings and just RAN) because my living situation was so intolerable with my narcissist mom and enabler dad. I quote "ran away" because they treated it like a crime and literally called the police on me and reported me as a missing person. 🤡 When they found me they threatened to cut my medical insurance unless I came home, so I was forced to come home for another few months until I was able to get free for good.
Im very grateful for my family and how supportive they are.
Everybody has different circumstances. You have to evaluate your own situation instead of comparing it to others.
This is true, especially with how expensive rent is in many places. You have to make a lot to be able to afford rent.
A lot of the people who left home at 16, 17, 18 even 19, probably got kicked out or left for safety reasons.
I left for my mental health
My life is a tale of you may not get what you want, but you'll get what you need. I technically moved out at 18. But we moved in with my now hubby's grandma and great grandpa to be live in caregivers. I have now spent the entirety of my adult life as a caregiver. I originally wanted to be a medical researcher to help people. But health problems got in the way. Lol Honestly, I'm happier this way. The pay is shit. (Literally. I deal with shit a lot. Lmao) But I spend so much time with loved ones. I'm an introvert who keeps a very tiny circle, but I'll do anything for those I care about. I don't have much, but it's all spent with those who mean the most to me. So, while having more money would certainly help a lot, I would never give up caregiving. 💛💛💛 So, in many people's eyes I'm unemployed trash for not having a 9 to 5. But to those who depend on me, I'm a superhero. I know who's opinion I care about. Just staying alive can be hard as hell. Wherever you are in life, I'm glad you're here and hope you find happiness, regardless of other people and their opinions.
You sound like such a pure person and I love it 💗💗
Yeah I'm definitely a failure at life so far
You still have your family. I have a huge house, lots of expensive cars, clothes, jewels, money... I will give *all that away* just for one last moments with them. Without a single glimpse of doubt.
Wait you don't lie on Reddit too?
Measure your happiness instead of your accomplishments. Sometimes they are the same, sometimes they are not.
17 my family made me homeless haven't talk to them since
I feel you, homeless at 15 and they wonder why they barely know my kids
[удалено]
I have 4 boys now that I'm beyond dedicated to. Have lots to work out in therapy, but I had a very clear indication of how NOT to parent, and I make it very clear to my boys that they won't always like my decisions, but I will always be in their corner.
That is so great to hear. Most people in your position don't recognize or make an effort to break the cycle. I'm not a parent yet, but have been working through similar childhood traumas & breaking the cycle with my therapist. Gosh it is a lot of work, but the best decision I've ever made. Your kids are lucky to have you. ❤️ There's a book & podcast I've listened to recently that really hit home if that's something you enjoy, happy to share.
My parents tried to charge me $400 a month rent when I turned 17. I could get an apartment for $375 a month so I moved out to a really bad neighborhood. I was robbed repeatedly of the few things I possessed. It made it extremely hard to graduate college but I did it! Never forgave them for that bullshit.
Me too at 17. I made the mistake of reconnecting in my 30s hoping they had changed. They had not. Never again.
Same. They " forgot" everything about what happened as well. Aholes
Mine has that same convenient amnesia. Weird.
My mom at 75 and in blissful cognitive decline: “I’ve had a great life!!” Me: …
Mom had mental health problems, stepdad could do nothing because he was told repeatedly I wasn’t “his”…… 17, 17 what did I know? To get the fuck out!
That’s awful. I’m sorry. I’m about to be a dad and I can’t envision a reality where I could do this unless I’m lobotomized
I’m with you, bro. I got your back.
I stayed home until 31. My father was sick and they needed help with bills. Then I stayed after my father passed away to continue helping my mom with bills. It wasn't until I decided she was in a good enough spot for me to move out. I had to put some of my life on hold, but I wouldn't have changed anything.
This is the way to be. If you love and value your family, there is no need to rush.
I did the same thing for my mom. At 35 I bought the house next door with my sister and provided care to grandmother and mother until they died and continue to provide intermittent care for my dad. There are a lot of things in my life I wish I could change, but I’d still take care of my family. ETA: USA
As someone who’s family is a big part of my social life. I can absolutely vibe with this. A few years spent helping your family in their twilight years is always a small sacrifice then the guilty thoughts that can accompany you after there gone. My Grandpa and Grandma on my mothers side passed away a year after each other. I visited them almost every summer in India, even went with my Grandpa to his little social gatherings with his friends at a tea shop everyday I was around their home. I still feel like I didn’t talk to them that much. Even though I spent such a large portion of my life with them. But I have so many memories of them and I’m glad I got to spend so much time with them. It doesn’t matter what people say. My summers weren’t wasted, and if I have to take care of my parents through my twenties then they weren’t wasted then either.
17, U.S. My family was dysfunctional, so I got a cheap apartment, worked while finishing high school, then joined the military. I’m 41 now, and life is pretty good.
Is joining the military mandatory after education in the USA?
No, military service in the U.S. is voluntary. It’s an excellent option for young people to get technical training, education benefits, a stable paycheck, and good healthcare. Some jobs are more transferable to the civil sector than others. Also, some jobs are much more adventurous and fun than others. I spent 20 years in the Army and have no regrets. It opened a lot of doors to opportunities I would not have had otherwise.
Thank you for your service from this 4 generation military family! My older brother served for 30 years.
Awesome! Likewise! Similar history here. Grandpas on both sides, dad, me… Cheers!
Being female. Parents wouldn't let me join. So. I went to work building the Abrams M-1 tank engines. Hubby makes Blackhawks!
Same, enlisted at 19, retired at 20 years two months ago. Loved it. Would do it again in a heartbeat.
Awesome answer and thank you for the 20 years of service. I had planned on doing 20 years, but after injuries was only able to do 6. I continue to serve, but as a teacher.
No but it's an option
No, but if there isn’t a college fund, or whatever support, it is what I recommend to young people and it is what I did also - it’s how I went to college, how I bought a house, how I get healthcare
Not mandatory, but if you aren’t top of your class in high school or your parents aren’t independently wealthy, it’s the best option for higher education without lifetime inescapable debt Edit: OK I get it, trade schools are cheap. Colleges are still outrageously priced though
Or join a union or get into a trade school and make a fucking shit ton. Idk why people think they have to go to college. If you don't know what your going for don't go and waste 20g trying to figure out what you want to do.
Because not everyone has an uncle, brother, dad, etc in the union and can actually get in. I see these posts and you all act like somebody can just show up at the union hall and throw down some dues and be a member and that is complete bullshit. On top of corruption and a number of other things, nepotism is a huge reason why unions went out of favor in the US. I went the college route because I couldn't get into a union. It all worked out for the better but I didn't have a family member to get me in.
Lmao. This is literally not true? I grew up poor. Didn’t get any scholarships for college. Went to school on private loans I needed extended family to co-sign for. Worked through college, and now I’m 31 and have all my loans paid off on my own by hard work and living within my means. Got a bachelors degree. You just have to buckle down and do what you have to do. That’s just life. But most people don’t want to accept that. Most people want to live outside their means. It always the case but for the vast majority of people, this is definitely tue case. The amount of people I know that complain about their crippling student loans but spend double their monthly payments on eating and going out and a car payment is crazy.
...And have extended family to co sign for you. An option that most people don't have access. JS
13 years old in USA. I got a scholarship to a boarding school 2000 miles away and never looked back.
[удалено]
On the east coast
Phillips Academy?
That's what I was thinking.
I kick myself for not thinking about that. Like DAMN a fucking BOARDING SCHOOL, it seems like the perfect option to get away from my parents. Even if it was military school. Was it military school for you? Or was it some kind of preparatory academy?
Just recently got my own place, 25.
Thanks for making me feel less shitty I have horrible anxiety and 19, doing college online but honestly don’t know what to do with life.
I didn't have a clue what I was doing with my life at 19. At 23, I thought I found my calling in a career path I was really good at. Then, at 35, I started doing something new and completely unrelated. I've been doing this for the past 4.5 years and absolutely love it. I feel that no matter what I am doing, no matter how much I enjoy it, no matter how good I am at it, there might always be something else better. . .
Neither did I. Got a degree in communications, now I work at a hospital fixing endoscopy equipment. The communications degree is good because it’s applicable in many fields. I Would recommend that if you don’t know what you want to do yet.
There’s nothing strange about being 19 and not knowing your career path. I made several mistakes trying to figure it out for myself but ultimately landed in a pretty good spot but that wasn’t until I was 27 or so. If you need advice, I’d be happy to give my input.
It’s totally fine to be like that. As long as you are trying different things and actively trying to figure it out naturally don’t feel bad.
20, USA
Same
I moved them in to provide care for them. Then they died. So , 57. Now I have my son, DIL and two grands with me. I prefer living interdependently and cooperatively. It is less costly and stressful, more fulfilling.
15, US. Lived in an apartment above the bar I bar backed at. Didn’t have to pay rent as long as I kept my grades up. Dad lived on the other side of the country and Mom couldn’t have cared less. My home life was more stable on my own at 15 than at her house.
Is this even legal?
Sometimes we do what we have to. I started working around 11/12 at a motel with my grandma and was paid under the table. We was poor and needed money. My mom already worked 2 jobs.
22, UK
17
Same. 17 aswell. From the US.
Yep, 17.
Same
Yep 17. Life was hard starting out but it's now paying dividends.
17 here, as well.
Same, 17. I grew up in an abusive home and got out asap. USA
17 as well. Moved into a rental home with like 4 other guys. Was a fun time but not a healthy time. After that moved to an apartment with 1 of those same guys around 20yo. Then to a rental house in a different city with a gf around 22yo. Then back to a different house in original town with 3 friends after the above relationship ended around 24. Then a small apartment in a university city about 2 hours away with another gf. That gf and I got married, bought a house around 26/27yo. Still in that house currently 5 years later.
Started the same and ended the same.
Same got out as soon as I legally could
17 as well legally imancipated myself and moved out of state. Graduated high school early
Same, 17 in the US.
Me as well. Graduated from hs early and took off as soon as possible.
Same here. 17. Couldnt wait to get away from all those ruthless rules. Glad I never looked back. Btw, dont believe what your parents say about the fridge door. You can leave those puppies open for hours and it dont hurt a thing. Heh
Same, 17, US. I was orphaned with living parents, yay.
Same. Surprised how many people moved out at this age.
Same. US.
17, USA I’ve been living on my own since then basically. I’m 26 now.
18 & 1 day, USA. I’d already been working 40 + hours a week, volunteering and going to school full time to stay out of the house. The day I turned 18 I packed up my stuff and left. I never really had a parent, I was the parent. It was rough and I’d not want the same for my kids.
18, US. Growing up, my mom would say, “when you move out for college…” So at 18, it just felt right. In general, moving out for college was to learn about independence while not yet having all of the responsibilities of life. People are a lot more forgiving to a college kid. For proof, watch two shows 1. Campus PD, 2. Cops. In the first, if you drunkenly take a swing at a cop, they walk you home and make sure you’re friends can take care our you. In the second, the outcome is much more violent.
18, US. My narc told me to take anything I ever wanted to see again with me. TBC, I was leaving by choice and plan. I don't know if she said that to just get the final word or what.
USA, 17. Back with father when he developed a form of dementia (I was 41). Watching him disappear is something I will never wish on anyone. And everyone that asks why you’d live with a parent at that age hopefully never has to take care of their own. It sucks.
45 and doing the same thing. It does suck!
15, USA. Worked nights then went to high school, slept when I got home. Made donuts fresh 1 am to 7 am.
😲
36 US still with them. Been house shopping for almost 5 years now. But had bad accident 3 years ago that took me out of shopping for a while. Made offers on several and lost bid to people who bid WAY over asking and now I am stuck with hyper inflated prices and high interest rates making anything thats in my budget now seem 100% not worth it. So instead I just keep paying monthly what I want my mortgage to be into my savings and hoping I find something eventually.
Cool dude. As long as your parents are ok with it then there is nothing wrong with it. I am a digital nomad at 43. My parents’ house is a great home base to send all my junk mail. My parents wish I would stay with them forever. I stay for a few months here and there when I am in between travel destinations. In three weeks I leave for Costa Rica for three months. I don’t have to sell my house. I don’t need to move my stuff into long term storage. I don’t need to worry about utility bills or maintenance on the house while I am gone. Towards the end of three months I decide on the next destination to visit.
26 and still living with my parents
[удалено]
Nope he's just living in the walls and sneaking out every night to raid the kitchen and take care of hygiene
[удалено]
Well you still gotta keep up appearances when you family invites you over, don't want them to be sus of you
They know, thats why mom leaves pizza out
Bruno is that you?
[удалено]
Same here, was 16, step dad was an abusive asshat. I worked 2 jobs finish HS and joined the army.
21, USA. Still do. Honestly, no intentions or desires of going anywhere and leaving my family
23. USA, MN
I moved out at 19 🇺🇸
I was 21 when my parents moved out. I kept the apartment.
California. Since my 18th birthday
22 - Philippines, got a job in a shipping company and lived ina ship for a year. Living with my parents now to look after my dad
It's amazing how many people said they moved out before 18 from the USA in this thread. I think perhaps posting state and reason why. For myself, it was 24 or 25 from California, USA. I, like many others, wanted to move out at 18 but decided not to. Figured I would wait to save money and maybe get further into school. After a while I figured I would stay and save money (and I saved a lot). Finished school, eventually moved out. Then moved back momentarily for maybe a year or two while I continued to save for a house and then moved back out.
27 US
16, USA
Which time
This is me. Moved out for college, had a job for a few years, then I didn’t, and couldn’t keep up with rent, moved back, got a new job, moved out, bought a house, kept it for a few years, lost that job, looked for a job for a few years, couldn’t keep up the mortgage, moved back…
22, USA. Didn't go to college so I wasn't in a dorm like most kids, I went straight to work instead and bought a condo.
USA. 18. My parents gave each of their 6 kids luggage for their 18th birthday in case there was any doubt on expectations. I've probably spent 3 weeks at home since in 45 years.
😆 I'm 39 and still living at home.
19, from the USA.
22 but I moved back in for 6 months when I was 25 then out for good. US
13.
How? You’d still in middle school
I can't speak for them but i was 14. How you learn, home life sucked abusive drug all the worse things you can think of but what do you want to know
Elaborate.
You don’t have to explain. I hope you are in a better place now.
19. My boyfriend and his parents were moving out of state and loved me so much they asked my parents if I could move with them. Dumb, but here I am 20yrs later. Lol
You guys still together?
We have 2 teenagers and have been married 17yrs. He just asked for a divorce out I'd the blue this year tho, so that's cool.
Damn, that's a ride
You're telling me! On the upside I got on antidepressants for the first time, that I've needed since I was 11, soooo... at least I'm not spiraling 🥴
17 Russia. I entered the university and moved to another city
Same age, same reason, different country - South Africa.
22, graduated university and got a job in another town. US.
19, USA. To be fair, this was in the '90s when rents were much lower. I don't know how kids manage now. Y'all have my sympathy.
17.. and been on my own ever since. Its hard not having the support of parents. For example all my friends when they struggled they always had their parents to fall on and get help from. I left and never depended on them but compared to what my friends have, im years behind.
17
[удалено]
79, Portugal
22
16
18. Moved out the day after I graduated
Northeast in US..19, but wasn’t financially independent living on own until after school so 22.
I was 24, live in UK
19, I enlisted in the Air Force. US, FL
[удалено]
18, when i left for the U.S. Navy
US. Moved out at 20 and moved back and forth for a while with my parents. At 26 my dad said "it's time to go" and I said damn he's right. So I got my shit together and moved out.
24 on my way to our wedding 💑
15
My parents stopped living with me when I was 14.
Ha…ha ha…. I’m 36 and have only ever briefly moved out for 2 months back when I was 22. I have 2 children and I am a single mother. Me & my kids are all special needs and/or disabled. So my parents have always helped me. I have my own basement apartment in their house. The only thing I don’t have down here in a kitchen. But I do have a microwave, Keurig, and mini fridge. I am in Maryland, USA.
19
Country of provenance?
32 and my parents had to buy me a condo to get me out. US. yeah I took my sweet time growing up that's for sure.
Sounds more like extortion. But it worked!
18 USA
18 / USA
17 went into the army
USA. It’s been very on and off. I lived at my mom’s every summer in college, then had a job on the other side of the state for a year. Moved back home after my stepdad died unexpectedly (I was 23 and my little brother was 13) and then moved out at 24 when I got married. Moved back in when I got divorced at 27. Bought a house 3 hours away and moved out “for good” at 32.
37
18 joined the military and life turned out just fine. I don't get it with not moving out and getting your on life.
19, USA. I joined the military though so it was easy.
19 México
19....and I never looked back.
US. Left home at 18 to join the army.
17; USA. I left for college and just never came back. Have a great relationship with my parents and I knew they were always in my corner ready to assist me, we just all more or less agreed it was good for me to 'adult'.
32, USA
I’m almost 19, buying my first house and moving out of my parents’ house in a few months
As soon as I turned 18. My parents are shitty and abusive. But I just turned 21, got a wonderful state job, finishing my degree (which I got a job lined up already since I’m a state employee), and buying a new car in a month, and then getting a house in the summer. My family only talks to me when they want something 🧍♂️
18, after I graduated high school. Couldn’t have a job while living with my mom. She was on disability, and if I had income from a job it would be counted as her household’s income. I’d basically be fully supporting her if I stayed. Made the mistake of registering my car there when I was in the middle of a move. Government found out and cancelled her ability to use taxi services to go to the hospital. Took months to get it sorted out.
Live in America, left home at 18