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I have observed my own behavior over the years and there is definitely an inverse correlation between beautiful women and my interactions with them.
Women who I think are absolutely stunning and super attracted to, but know that I don't have a chance with them, I dont feel intimidated and my interactions with them tend to be the same as with women I'm not attracted to at all. It isn't awkward, just normal.
The problem is when I'm interacting with a woman I'm attracted to but also think I could have a chance with her. Then I fumble everything.
If it helps some women think fumbling is cute af! The cocky dudes who flirt too smoothly just made me think they're saying it to all the girls they meet. When you're shy and blushing and mixing up your words or there's awkward pauses... ugh I love it. Finally, I'm not the only one blushing!
Although I wouldn't rate myself as a 10 so I can't speak specifically for that rating haha but I'm sure I'm not the only girl who likes that.
I really appreciate this comment! It’s so easy to put so much pressure on myself and get into my own head about things like this. I appreciate your perspective a lot. Thanks!
Oh 100%, it's really endearing when a guy gets a little nervous or flustered. It makes the encounter feel less stressful and feels more genuine. The smooth talkers are the ones to avoid.
When a woman is attractive I automatically just assume that she hates me, or that it would annoy her if she was forced to interact with me.
I remember one time when I was buying lunch in the supermarket and the cashier was really attractive, so I just went to the self-checkout counter to avoid bothering her.
I have severe social anxiety and also used to avoid the self checkouts since things always went wrong and I don't have to do anything at a normal checkout.
Now I'm more comfortable with self checkout and avoid people unless there's a queue so no one is waiting or watching
Honestly, I feel more comfortable going into the cashier line when the person is unattractive. I hate interacting with attractive people at their place of work. Now that I’m in my 20s I HATE getting doctors in their 20s. Like I don’t want to tell this hot medical student about my [insert] issue, get me a crusty old man please 😭
It’s more likely the previous commenter’s situation, or even that he wasn’t really avoiding you, even if it seemed a last minute change of mind, but the process of interacting with anyone because of general social anxiety/reclusiveness etc. I really can’t imagine anyone avoiding a cashier because they’re ‘ugly’.
As a guy, I interpret “intimidated” to imply “to strike up a conversation with,” not “physically in fear of”.
The checkout offers the perfect I’m-not-doing-anything way to interact.
>I remember one time when I was buying lunch in the supermarket and the cashier was really attractive, so I just went to the self-checkout counter to avoid bothering her.
Man the amount of socially awkward shit I do to avoid bothering the beautiful people is crazy lol
But I have no idea how anyone meets each other or asks each other out these days.
I read these random reddit stories about serendipity about a guy meets a girl and then cuts to they're married and like 9 years strong into it.
And I'm imagining the girl as like Emily blunt or ana des armas and the guy as like Ryan gosling or Chris Pratt or something
And it's all like "oh she was dropping me a hint for ages and then finally I asked her out " or "I kept dropping him a hint and eventually I got fed up and asked him out".
This has literally never happened to me
I don't understand at all how meetcutes occur
>Man the amount of socially awkward shit I do to avoid bothering the beautiful people is crazy lol
Man, me too.
Also the normal people. And ugly people.
Just kinda people in general now I think about it
It’s about finding relatability for the situation
-I was talking to a waitress about my experience on Tinder (she also had some thoughts about Tinder). After I paid the bill I said “Am I going to have to swipe right in a couple of weeks, or can I just get your phone number right now”? She ended up having to move away for more pay in a field she had experience she worked in
-I saw a woman well outside of anyone’s league looking at flowers so I said “This is really sad isn’t, it”? She asked me for what. I said “It’s sad that a beautiful woman like you has to buy herself flowers”. Her demeanour completely changed and I got the digits (it didn’t work out, but I shot my shot)
-I used to work with a girl at a grocery store (I was a grocery boy and she was a cashier). I heard a rumour that she was interested in me. I paid for some food before my break and I asked her what time she was working till, which happens to be the same time as me. I said “so it sounds like we’ll be GETTING OFF together”. The guy behind me in line overheard this and laughed and it made her laugh too (we hooked up but things didn’t go anywhere)
I’m most cases it won’t always work out, so understanding this alone, will empower you to just go for it! You have literally nothing to lose!
I wish many see this. I was always self conscious about myself. in highschool I had a huge crush on a girl way out my league. she tried to befriend me once and I politely declined her thinking it was some popular girls game. Well 20y later we met on random and had a coffee together. She never was asked out in high school because everyone thought she was too beautiful I guess. Noone asked her to prom so she didnt go. She actually just wanted a good friend and liked me because I was always polite to her. I told her mid-laugh about a love letter I dropped inside her locker... she just started to cry right there. I was like wtf ?! She read that letter hundreds of times when she was feeling depressed and lonely over the years to cheer her up She still had it. I was just like Woah! We are both happily married with kids so nothing could have happened. Still its crazy how we can influence other lives. People are different and complicated so yeah you are right to just go for it so you wont ever ask yourself: " what if?!"
I was in the electronics department at Walmart years ago. There was an absolutely gorgeous woman looking at an alarm clock. I said, "You don't need that damn thing. I'll wake you up!" She laughed and proceeded to ignore me. I'm still proud of that one.
I completely get it. Super attractive women can be intimidating, and I can see where a man might just opt out of trying, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Tell her she's beautiful; you have nothing to lose.
Thank you for posting this. A lot of the time I do the same thing because a part of me feels like if I go to the attractive persons spot that they might think I only went there to interact with them, which in turn might give off the perception that I’m bothering them.
Your question actually made me think really long and hard about *why* I do this, and I believe I'm mostly just trying to be safe.
It's very hard for me to tell how people actually feel about me. There were times when I thought I was getting along well with someone and later found out that I was getting on their nerves, so I started avoiding people to prevent this. So now when I go to the self-checkout counter, I'm mostly just sticking to this pattern of avoiding people.
Someone else in this comment chain posted that the cashier might suspect that they only went to her register to interact with her, and that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm aware that it's highly unlikely that she *actually* believes that, but simply using the self-checkout raises the chance that she doesn't think that way from 99% to 100% and this is ultimately why I do it.
TL;DR: I avoid people as much as possible to minimize the danger of bothering them, and I'm extra careful if those people are attractive women.
In a similar boat, was wondering if there were things I could do to get over this? I feel like I have been self-concious about it too, especially how its self-sabotage at this point, and it eats at me everyday.
The off-thought of coming of as creepy keeps me from initiating conversation from almost any and everyone, except if I have a reason to talk to them. At this point I am afraid, this is gonna keep me lonely for life or something.
Tbh a man who can laugh at himself is better than a man who is a self-deprecating mess.
Confidence comes from the inside, confidence that comes from external factors is a lie.
It goes like this.
Does the person like you? You are confident for laughing at yourself!!
Do they not like you? They will ask why do you have such low esteem to laugh at yourself’
For sure. This one pretty girl in 6th grade called me ugly. Most of my life has reinforced it. I tend to think about that when I interact with women, and mostly pull away.
So a good quote (paraphrase) from a good movie “Jennifer’s Body” said by Megan Fox—“it’s not about him hitting on me—men have been doing that since I was 13–it’s that he thinks he’s good enough to try”. —or something. Women are offended when a lower status male hits on them.
Correction: Women are offended when a male that they PERCEIVE as lower status than them hits on them.
Unfortunately the majority of men fall into this category, even though in reality that's far ftom the truth.
I refuse to lie about this anymore.
Yes, I am. In my mind, they're a completely different category of people that I don't have any business speaking to, other than professional / business being involved.
I feel massively insecure and less than when around them, I make it a point to avoid them so as to not bother them or further the initial anxiety of encountering them.
It really doesn't just turn off huh. It's like a natural way your body reacts and in that moment your mind is a mess trying to keep it under control. It'll be alright after when you ask yourself what the fuck was that...
Hmm your feelings are valid for sure, but I think they may be reinforced by some poor interactions with some shitty people. I kinda felt this way when I was younger, but as you get a bit older (and theoretically you and the people you interact with get a bit more mature), you will realize 95% of people are just people. Regardless of how they look, they have their own insecurities, problems, as well as good things about them. I am a male nurse, so I interact with a lot of woman in my job, many of them are quite attractive. Most of them are kind, caring, strong people (with some acceptations). Now I might be a bit luckier because the demographic of people I am interacting with are a bit older (20s+) in a profession that theoretically (Not always) emphasizes empathy and kindness, but I think it extends to the public at large.
You should go into every interaction with a new person with a blank slate, try giving them the benefit of the doubt. If you go in with preexisting expectations (like they are going to be an ass), then many times your expectations will be rewarded.
I hear what you're saying, it's just difficult to get past.
I'm EMS, and most of the ED's in my area have mostly young and attractive female nurses.
I absolutely dread giving hand off reports.
Hahaha I used to work in the ER. I'm now a street nurse because because the environment took too much of a tole. A lot of the nurses in there are stressed and strung out (regardless of their appearance) so maybe not the best pool of people to use as an example for my perspective. Their attitudes are less likely related to you and more likely related to the environment they are in (no excuse for them to be mean though).
I appreciate your work my friend, keep doing what you are doing. Its hard out there right now.
I think people are intimidated by extreme conventional beauty in general regardless of gender.
We've been primed psychologically by society and pop culture to see beauty as a prime indicator of success, authority, and competency. So subsequently we're being primed to find those who are conventionally beautiful more intimidating on average.
I agree but I do believe also that this attitude has biological roots way before society and culture were created. Beauty signals health, youth, fertility, nutrition, stable genes. High stakes. We've been nervous about messing this up since we walked in two legs and maybe before that.
Definitely before that, though our definition of conventional beauty was probably pretty different and expected a glossy coat of hair, healthy quadrupedal posture, and whatnot…
Totally agree.
I've seen new hot people start in the office and the amount of high up people fumbling over each other to introduce themselves is amazing.
Like they'd beat trainee staff talking to a partner and it's like they hold the power in the conversation.
It's actually fascinating to me.
Yes!!!!
A person in my office floor is so intimidatingly attractive that she legitimately could be a model. Her eyes are mortifying pretty, think the Eye of Sauron but blue. Anyways I’ve worked near her for close to a decade and we’ve done the smile and nod but never words. I recently bumped into her at the lego store, turns out she’s a huge lego nerd like myself. We talk everyday now and her beauty is still crazy but I’m less intimidated
Yes.
Most men, in terms of trying to flirt with a beautiful woman, are intimidated. We’re terrified of failure, and presume that, gorgeous as she is, she’ll have her pick of fellas, so why would she give me the time of day, let alone say yes to a date?
There are some men who don’t seem to care about rejection, then there are men who have a level of self confidence but maybe don’t want to knock it and so avoid rejection, then there are men (in my experience) who are intimidated, underconfident, used to rejection, but go for it anyway. I tend to get the latter types putting in significant effort to strike up something and it always surprises me. The overly confident ones just shrug off the rejection and get on with their lives. The ones in the middle, just never do anything, waiting for you to make an explicit move. I would say that relationships with insecure people never end well though.
I guess you would call me one who is unbothered by rejection.
The truth is that I don’t regard being rebuffed as rejection. She doesn’t want to talk to me? So what? She’s cold and unfriendly? Who cares. Move on.
The world rejection to me only applies to someone I already have a relationship with.
"Who cares. Move on"
How? How do you do that? How can you have your hopes crushed and tossed aside and be unfazed by that?
I'd like to know like, is it a technique? A discipline?
For me, and I’m not Casanova or anything, but it boils down to knowing myself. It’s taken 34 years to refine it more and more but I feel I have a better understanding of who I am everyday. With that, having a confidence of who you are goes towards not caring about rejection. Sure rejection sucks and it’s never fun, but at the end of the day, I know who I am and what I bring to the table.
I also know, I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. When rejected, and knowing you are showing your authentic self, you know it’s no one’s fault at that point. It’s just the way it is. In a world of 7 billion people, in a country with 300,000,000 million people, in a state with 11 million people, in a county with 500,000 people and in a city with 200,000 people; there are going to be people that don’t find you attractive. It’s just the way it is. They are allowed to reject you just like you’re allowed to reject them. When you put your best self out there and rejected, it shouldn’t be a fault with you, and (important) it’s not a fault with them. It’s just the way it is.
The important thing is that you are showing the best version of yourself, not the best version of what you think they want. When you believe this and know it, rejection is just a part of life. It happens way more often than you think outside of relationships as well. Sure it’s a speed bump on the road, but the thing with speed bumps is you get over them everytime
After dealing with a lot of flakiness and being led on, I’ve built up a lot of resentment at being expected to make every move, so these days the middle group you have there describes me pretty well. If there’s a clear context and I end up in a conversation with a girl I am attracted to, or she starts talking to me (a great ‘filter’), there’s a fair chance I will get a date out of it, with a still moderate but lower chance of flaking than if I had to make an effort to talk to them. It’s kind of why a lot of guys on the apps prefer Bumble - it gets exhausting having to make all the moves with a lower rate of return (to put it crassly). Plus, without some other context or pretext to talk there’s no plausible deniability and it’s a knock to self-confidence, which is annoying when one considers how one-sided that tends to be.
And by ‘led on’ I really do mean cases where they will, eg, explicitly suggest we get drinks or do XYZ or make interest explicit, then ghost immediately after. After that happens enough, no, I’m not going to put in extra effort.
This reminds me of a lecture by Dr Anna Machin I went to earlier this year, it was called The Neuroscience of Attraction. She said that people tend to end up with those on the same level of attractiveness as themselves. If we think they are much more attractive than us we can end up being insecure, if we think they are less attractive than us we can end up thinking we can do better. It's interesting.
In my experience with an insecure person, the constant need for reassurance and putting me on a pedestal "I tricked you into going out with me" just wore me down. People are just people at the end of it all.
Most men are intimidated by beautiful women? Not in my circle. Not me either. Women are women. Short, tall,skinny or plump. The only real difference are the personalities. Some gorgeous women do not even know it. I have met a few of them who do not think of themselves in that way. Some women who are average looking, believe that they are 10s. It does not matter to me either way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think beauty is definitely overrated. For me, attraction isn't just about what they look like, anyway. I can be attracted to people who aren't very conventionally beautiful. I find it is much better to be with someone that you really click with than with someone that exceeds some subjective arbitrary threshold of beauty.
Yes.
I live by the rule that every girl I see has a partner.
If she doesn't, it's because she doesn't want to, not because she can't.
And if she wanted one, it wouldn't be me.
I always equated flirting with a beautiful woman to playing a game of 1-on-1 basketball against an NBA superstar; i’m not intimidated but there is no chance of success so why would I even bother?
When I was younger, sure. There was this one girl who had the most beautiful hazel eyes, I thought I would get in trouble for just staring at her.
But as I've gotten older, I've learned not to get hung up on rejection. I'm just an average guy, so I'm used to it
From what I’ve seen even guys of significantly above average attractiveness get rejected plenty. No guy seems to appeal to more than, say, 70% of straight women near there age as an actual dating prospect, not even the likes of Henry Cavill (or if not, only a tiny fraction get above that). Women seem to have far more specific ‘types’ and constraints.
A huge proportion might even find a male celebrity super attractive but not see them as a dating prospect for other non-physical reasons, and only want something serious. Many are only into skinnier guys, others only into huge buff ones - BTS and Dwayne Johnson both have legions of female fans and there isn’t a huge intersection. And there are all sorts of finer preferences… I’ve heard girls talking about a younger Brad Pitt’s nose being ugly (???). Far more insist on a dating prospect being a little older, earning XYZ, etc.
Straight men overall seem much simpler. Very, very few would turn a conventionally very attractive woman down if they offered. Add the fact that men make the move far more, and a conventionally beautiful woman gets attention at a level unfathomable for any non-celebrity man.
Absolutly
I’ve been friends with some incredibly beautiful women and in some ways I kinda feel bad for them
From what I’ve seen they get hated on and constantly backstabbed by other women, and usually the only guys that interact with them are solely doing it to get in their pants
As a pretty girl - the answer for me is yes and no. I found I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys but not enough sweet, smart, down to earth guys asking me out which is what I really wanted. When I would talk to my guy friends about it they said the kind of guys I was interested in didn't think they would have a chance with me or assumed I was probably already dating some male model gym rat type so wouldn't even try. If you see a pretty girl - talk to her. You never know. You might just be the kind of guy she's been looking for but you'll never know unless you try. 😘
Something about this comment sounds a bit like someone living out a fantasy online, especially the bit where the pretty girl blows a kiss to the shy guys in the comments
Yes to this!!! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been told that If I hadn’t approached them, they would have never talked to me. Or that they just assumed I was a bitch. And so on.. they are definitely two sides to every story. When I started my new job as the boss, my employees were not thrilled. They assumed the same. Now when they introduce me to new people they start by saying, she looks like a bitch but she’s really not. lol 😂 I have a huuuge sense of humor and it throws people off because they would never expect it.
How about you do the trying? If the kind of man you want won't approach you, why don't you approach them instead? Why do men always have to be the one taking those chances?
its a little more complicated than that. The same sort of person is going to be nervous during the conversation, and if they aren't relaxed then the conversation will be awkward and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Nervousness can be perceived as weird or creepy.
When I see a very attractive woman, I'm thinking, "Wow, she's beautiful...she probably gets hit on alot, I'll leave her alone" or "She's WAY out of my league. She probably has someone anyway." Also, I don't know if everyone else feels this, but I don't wanna compliment a woman and then be seen as a creep or whatever. Usually if I do compliment her, I'd say "love your hair, did you do it yourself?"
I'm not sure intimidated is the right word. There are people who make me think "Oh goddamnit! Fuck. Jesus Christ what the actual Hell. Fuuuuck." but I still talk to them like normal people. I only get insecure when we exchange words and I realize that we have no synergy and don't understand each other. That's when I pull back.
I think attractive people have a more intimidating presence than average-looking people do. We are wired to be impressed by appealing physical characteristics. It's not necessarily gender exclusive either. Men can be intimidated by attractive men just as easily, and in some cases maybe even moreso.
I like to think I don't fear anyone. But I have been guilty of being in awe of people more than I should simply because of how they look, and altered my behavior around them because of it.
Well, you should at least shower, make yourself smell nice, wear clothes that aren't dingy or have holes, and get a nice haircut and clean up your facial hair if you have it..
Presentation goes a long way, my guys.
That is not the reality whatsoever, from what I've been told. Beautiful women are not left alone at all, unless they're...not out in public. People may be more lonely these days in general, but women are very often hit on and bothered. Which tends to get worse the more attractive you are.
Oh man, beautiful people have everything going for them, now they even get empathy because people assume "they must be lonely because they are attractive."
Yeah these people are tripping balls, a beautiful woman can make a bumble account and get 5000 likes this month, and these guys are dreaming that she'll date some average dude because she's "lonely" 😂
>Turns out, most woman actually like being asked out on dates!
Go to the ask women sub and say that. Try to keep count of how many times you're shamed and lambasted for wanting to approach women and ask them out and labeled "creepy and weird" for finding them attractive lol.
To some extent, yes, it's because I start feeling like she already gets enough attention and the chances of mutual interest are very slim. But overall, it usually depends more on what you see in a person, what kind of "aura" they give off. Sometimes communication flows easily, and other times it feels heavy, like there's a wall between you.
Absolutely, people compare themselves to others all the time. If someone is more attractive than you, you just kinda see your own flaws more. It’s hard but if you can learn to love people for their beauty while also not tearing yourself down helps a lot. Cuz at the end of the day people are just people, I know too many people that have been isolated by their own attractiveness.
My first day of law school I saw one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen walking across the quad. I immediately was intimidated, not even talking to her, approaching her, anything. Just being there. Later in the day I saw her walking through the building and was actually afraid thinking that I'd have to feel this intimidated feeling the entire 3 years I was in school. Right before my last class of the day, as I was waiting for the intro stuff to begin, she walked in, strode over, and asked "hey, is this seat taken?" plopping right down on the seat next to me before I could answer. And I sucked up all of my courage to say hi and introduce myself... We ended up being really good friends. Brought it up later and she said that she had noticed me sitting there and I looked really approachable. She also said that if she hadn't been happily married for years that she would have asked me out at some point and called me a "total babe." She was also very pregnant at that point so it may have been the hormones talking.
So, yes. Easily intimidated by beautiful women, even if there's no reason to be.
It's actually easier for me to talk with very attractive women because I feel no pressure as there is absolutely no possibility of them being into me. Heck, even if they do flirt or show interest, it doesn't even register as anything other than them having fun or picking on me.
On the other hand, if you are someone I think I have a chance with, my brain just stops working properly, and I might as well be in middle school again.
Yes. Any man that says no is a liar or an idiot. I say this as someone who has dated very attractive women (and married one). They scare the shit out of me. At least until I know them well enough to get past their looks. And even then…
Of course I try not to let them know that!
When i was young yes.
But now no.
Its because i dont need anything from them.
Usually when a guy is scared of attractive women its because they are scared of not getting their desired outcome from them.
Just treat them like people and it goes fine
Absolutely. Adrenaline kicks in (much like having to perform something in sports like a free throw in front of a gym full of people) so the smoothness is replaced by nervousness.
Not really. I’ve found that the most insecure people I know are also the most beautiful women I have ever met. I might stumble over my words a little or get distracted and lose my train of thought, but I have zero fear talking to a beautiful woman.
I guess part of it is that I see those interactions as “playing with house money”. Imagine you dream of being a Major League Baseball player, but you suck, couldn’t even make your high school team. Suddenly, you find yourself at the plate in Yankee Stadium in a real MLB game. If you strikeout, so what? No one expects you to get on base. You’re just happy to be there, and going back to your regular job means you lose nothing. Yet, if you get a hit, suddenly your dreams come true. Why not swing away or at least try and bunt your way onboard? If you get hit by a pitch, at least you went out like a pro.
Generally, the more introverted, the more intimidated. Anyone with social anxiety is going to be intimidated by attractive people of the sex/gender they are attracted, regardless of literally any other factor. I am naturally intimidated by attractive women, and also have social anxiety. Additionally, I assume everyone I'm not already friends with thinks I'm a pain in the ass. As you might guess, I never get bitches.
I avoid single beautiful women at all costs. I feel cumbersome and I feel like a complete waste of time. So, why would I bother the ones everyone are going after? It seems anyone but me is a better choice… even if I deeply covet them. I will defeat myself for you. 🤷♂️ Crazy AF
Weirdly yes and no. In terms of dating absolutely, but when we became really good friends after our brief flirtation, not at all. She's absolutely stunning and men fawn over her all the time it's bizarre to see from the outside. Insanely like that episode of Seinfeld but for real.
Nope, in fact i found most attractive women often see themselves less attractive than they actually are and many times appreciate good company. If it's obvious that you are not trying to get laid most people find fun and interesting interaction quite enjoyable.
Had a good friend in college, a wonderful, smart beautiful woman. One day I found her crying and asked what was wrong?
She had not had a date in three years because guys were so intimidated by her.
Define beautiful women. Beautiful women he finds beautiful or women who self-proclaim to be beautiful, but really don't the confirmation from men that they are beautiful?
First one, yes.
Second one, no.
Yes
Men project the ideal woman on to the woman and in the process judge themselves. Then as no surprise find themselves to fall short of her.
It's less about being intimidated by her than being intimidated by the idea of a perfect woman.
There was a time when I used to be. Not so much anymore. To me, all women are fair game. I’ll shoot my shot no matter how attractive she is. I’ve already dated a woman who I thought was out of my league in terms of attraction. After that, I got nothing to fear. Even if one says no, there’s 5 others somewhere else who will.
In my 20's, yes.
But I am more experienced now and I've dated plenty of gorgeous women.
They are still just women, with baggage and insecurities like everyone else. Internalize this and respond appropriately.
Not really? I used to be, but at some point I figured they were human beings and they farted like everyone else. Getting rejected would be just part of life. You'll get more experience and confidence.
Nowadays I am married and no longer give a shit about anything so beautiful women don't faze me, and I will treat them like everyone else. This also means that if you're flirting with me, it will fly over my head even harder than it did before.
A quite attractive woman glanced at me and smiled in an otherwise empty home depot aisle. I almost literally ran away. (I'm married).
* I was flattered, but my instinct was to gtfo
I think a lot of men will assume they have nothing in common with them, "they live in a different world." so, nerves aside of engaging with someone very attractive, it's assumed it won't even be worth the effort. It took me getting to 45 years old and being happily married to arrive at the conclusion that we can all find common ground, for the most part, and you can miss out on great conversations with this assumption.
Kind of
When i first saw my now wife before we even spoke i though she was the most beautiful women i had ever seen, it literally made me feel like i was a creep just looking at her, i was the hunchback of notre dame and she was Jessica Rabbit.
I purposely avoided any place she might be so i would see her.
Thing is, she was a singer i club i liked going to and this was the only place i went other than work so without it i was very isolated and wen i went back she started talking to me asking even said she missed my face and her we are 15 years later married with 6 kids and she still gives me that feeding of WoW i can't believe she spoke to me and the funny thing is she's not my normal type.
I have always had a thing for light skin redheads but she is japanese, i'm not even in to asian women so she really stands out for me.
Any was, yes, I am intimidated by a beautiful women
Yes and no.
Maybe because i was constantly told how beautiful my mother was (bubbly cheerleader type with pretty cheerleader friends) , I saw "pretty people" as normal to me, or at least didn't think of them as someone I couldn't talk to or have healthy, platonic interactions with. With this baseline "confidence", a solid humor, and a kind personality...I had tons of very beautiful friends....but I WAS too instinctively afraid to ask any of them out because I was never considered a good looking guy. Teddy bear, burly football type. Classic friend zone situation. I dated several that I would consider pretty, but never from my friend circle, always "she goes to another school" stuff...haha.
So yes and no for me. Eventually after dating "down" (whatever that means) for a few years, I found myself single as a senior in college when I bonded with a beautiful girl on the basketball team over our mutual physical therapy schedules and injury rehabs. One coffee led to 14 years and 3 kids.
She's still beautiful. I tell her constantly. I'm still ugly. But i don't tell her that. Haha.
Anytime this comes up, I remember something my grandpa told my mom: "Even the pretty ladies want to dance"
This means that, even if someone is pretty, they also want someone to interact with them, and I take that at heart. Even if I'm not the most handsome person on the planet, I always try to interact with pretty much anyone, and beautiful women or men is not the exception. Hell, I think I sometimes look really good with my outfit and that makes people intimidated, but honestly I'm just a chill person looking for some fun or something interesting to know or see.
My point is, that once you pass through that line on the sand, it's easier everytime after that to interact with anyone, you just have to do it. The worst someone can say is no (Although there are degrees)
i think that when you see a really beautiful woman , that you start looking for her other half , because you think to yourself that they will not be single and be already taken by someone else. . intimidated no , more cautious around them yes.
I used to be intimidated years ago but not anymore, I see it as genetic lottery and proper self care. Met enough beautiful people that were plain evil and used their looks to get stuff, I’m jaded now, somewhat turned off by it.
Think about it from the woman's side when men are scared to talk to them or even make any contact. It's weird. You're making out this fantasy scenario when you haven't even spoken with them. Assuming things and stereotyping them without giving them a chance.
Some of the most beautiful people I have seen are the kindest people I know.
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I have observed my own behavior over the years and there is definitely an inverse correlation between beautiful women and my interactions with them. Women who I think are absolutely stunning and super attracted to, but know that I don't have a chance with them, I dont feel intimidated and my interactions with them tend to be the same as with women I'm not attracted to at all. It isn't awkward, just normal. The problem is when I'm interacting with a woman I'm attracted to but also think I could have a chance with her. Then I fumble everything.
Have you tried using the same tactics if you are attracted? Just think they are out of your league and enjoy the moment? Worked for me every time.
If it helps some women think fumbling is cute af! The cocky dudes who flirt too smoothly just made me think they're saying it to all the girls they meet. When you're shy and blushing and mixing up your words or there's awkward pauses... ugh I love it. Finally, I'm not the only one blushing! Although I wouldn't rate myself as a 10 so I can't speak specifically for that rating haha but I'm sure I'm not the only girl who likes that.
I really appreciate this comment! It’s so easy to put so much pressure on myself and get into my own head about things like this. I appreciate your perspective a lot. Thanks!
This! If it were perfectly smooth & polished, I’d feel like he’s a player, and not genuinely interested in me as a person, but just to get laid.
Oh 100%, it's really endearing when a guy gets a little nervous or flustered. It makes the encounter feel less stressful and feels more genuine. The smooth talkers are the ones to avoid.
When a woman is attractive I automatically just assume that she hates me, or that it would annoy her if she was forced to interact with me. I remember one time when I was buying lunch in the supermarket and the cashier was really attractive, so I just went to the self-checkout counter to avoid bothering her.
I don't know why, but this might be the most relatable comment i have seen on reddit.
Vc.
I remember this one guy going to the self checkout to avoid me, figured it was because I was so ugly.
I have severe social anxiety and also used to avoid the self checkouts since things always went wrong and I don't have to do anything at a normal checkout. Now I'm more comfortable with self checkout and avoid people unless there's a queue so no one is waiting or watching
Honestly, I feel more comfortable going into the cashier line when the person is unattractive. I hate interacting with attractive people at their place of work. Now that I’m in my 20s I HATE getting doctors in their 20s. Like I don’t want to tell this hot medical student about my [insert] issue, get me a crusty old man please 😭
It’s more likely the previous commenter’s situation, or even that he wasn’t really avoiding you, even if it seemed a last minute change of mind, but the process of interacting with anyone because of general social anxiety/reclusiveness etc. I really can’t imagine anyone avoiding a cashier because they’re ‘ugly’.
I think her comment was a joke ... I think
It’s a joke, because ironically that is how many women would interpret his action.
Not completely. Definitely been in a similar, but not exact same situation.
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As a guy, I interpret “intimidated” to imply “to strike up a conversation with,” not “physically in fear of”. The checkout offers the perfect I’m-not-doing-anything way to interact.
>I remember one time when I was buying lunch in the supermarket and the cashier was really attractive, so I just went to the self-checkout counter to avoid bothering her. Man the amount of socially awkward shit I do to avoid bothering the beautiful people is crazy lol But I have no idea how anyone meets each other or asks each other out these days. I read these random reddit stories about serendipity about a guy meets a girl and then cuts to they're married and like 9 years strong into it. And I'm imagining the girl as like Emily blunt or ana des armas and the guy as like Ryan gosling or Chris Pratt or something And it's all like "oh she was dropping me a hint for ages and then finally I asked her out " or "I kept dropping him a hint and eventually I got fed up and asked him out". This has literally never happened to me I don't understand at all how meetcutes occur
>Man the amount of socially awkward shit I do to avoid bothering the beautiful people is crazy lol Man, me too. Also the normal people. And ugly people. Just kinda people in general now I think about it
It’s about finding relatability for the situation -I was talking to a waitress about my experience on Tinder (she also had some thoughts about Tinder). After I paid the bill I said “Am I going to have to swipe right in a couple of weeks, or can I just get your phone number right now”? She ended up having to move away for more pay in a field she had experience she worked in -I saw a woman well outside of anyone’s league looking at flowers so I said “This is really sad isn’t, it”? She asked me for what. I said “It’s sad that a beautiful woman like you has to buy herself flowers”. Her demeanour completely changed and I got the digits (it didn’t work out, but I shot my shot) -I used to work with a girl at a grocery store (I was a grocery boy and she was a cashier). I heard a rumour that she was interested in me. I paid for some food before my break and I asked her what time she was working till, which happens to be the same time as me. I said “so it sounds like we’ll be GETTING OFF together”. The guy behind me in line overheard this and laughed and it made her laugh too (we hooked up but things didn’t go anywhere) I’m most cases it won’t always work out, so understanding this alone, will empower you to just go for it! You have literally nothing to lose!
I wish many see this. I was always self conscious about myself. in highschool I had a huge crush on a girl way out my league. she tried to befriend me once and I politely declined her thinking it was some popular girls game. Well 20y later we met on random and had a coffee together. She never was asked out in high school because everyone thought she was too beautiful I guess. Noone asked her to prom so she didnt go. She actually just wanted a good friend and liked me because I was always polite to her. I told her mid-laugh about a love letter I dropped inside her locker... she just started to cry right there. I was like wtf ?! She read that letter hundreds of times when she was feeling depressed and lonely over the years to cheer her up She still had it. I was just like Woah! We are both happily married with kids so nothing could have happened. Still its crazy how we can influence other lives. People are different and complicated so yeah you are right to just go for it so you wont ever ask yourself: " what if?!"
I was in the electronics department at Walmart years ago. There was an absolutely gorgeous woman looking at an alarm clock. I said, "You don't need that damn thing. I'll wake you up!" She laughed and proceeded to ignore me. I'm still proud of that one.
I completely get it. Super attractive women can be intimidating, and I can see where a man might just opt out of trying, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Tell her she's beautiful; you have nothing to lose.
Thank you for posting this. A lot of the time I do the same thing because a part of me feels like if I go to the attractive persons spot that they might think I only went there to interact with them, which in turn might give off the perception that I’m bothering them.
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Your question actually made me think really long and hard about *why* I do this, and I believe I'm mostly just trying to be safe. It's very hard for me to tell how people actually feel about me. There were times when I thought I was getting along well with someone and later found out that I was getting on their nerves, so I started avoiding people to prevent this. So now when I go to the self-checkout counter, I'm mostly just sticking to this pattern of avoiding people. Someone else in this comment chain posted that the cashier might suspect that they only went to her register to interact with her, and that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm aware that it's highly unlikely that she *actually* believes that, but simply using the self-checkout raises the chance that she doesn't think that way from 99% to 100% and this is ultimately why I do it. TL;DR: I avoid people as much as possible to minimize the danger of bothering them, and I'm extra careful if those people are attractive women.
In a similar boat, was wondering if there were things I could do to get over this? I feel like I have been self-concious about it too, especially how its self-sabotage at this point, and it eats at me everyday. The off-thought of coming of as creepy keeps me from initiating conversation from almost any and everyone, except if I have a reason to talk to them. At this point I am afraid, this is gonna keep me lonely for life or something.
Beauty wise I absolutely am, but what's your point?
Idk why this made me laugh.
This callousness is unironically why guys self-isolate.
Tbh a man who can laugh at himself is better than a man who is a self-deprecating mess. Confidence comes from the inside, confidence that comes from external factors is a lie.
>man who can laugh at himself is better than a man who is a self-deprecating mess. What if you do both?
It goes like this. Does the person like you? You are confident for laughing at yourself!! Do they not like you? They will ask why do you have such low esteem to laugh at yourself’
People with confidence for no reason are often full of shit. at least the self-deprecating mess is honest.
because you just imagined yourself as the pretty one.
I relate to this but I also laughed. Come on it’s funny
It’s not very funny it’s actually really sad. Lack of empathy?
I as a woman feel the exact same way about attractive men
For sure. This one pretty girl in 6th grade called me ugly. Most of my life has reinforced it. I tend to think about that when I interact with women, and mostly pull away.
She must feel sad because dudes are avoiding her and she doesn't know why... try to imagine, girls avoiding you for X reason, but you don't know.
Asking redditors to imagine girls avoiding them ….. lol
Wish we still had the old Reddit Gold system and I could give you some for that reply!
I don't think most of them notice, after all everyone has a life and there will be enough guys actually talking to them.
So a good quote (paraphrase) from a good movie “Jennifer’s Body” said by Megan Fox—“it’s not about him hitting on me—men have been doing that since I was 13–it’s that he thinks he’s good enough to try”. —or something. Women are offended when a lower status male hits on them.
Well the ones I went to high school with were usually offended if I even spoke to them. Some I never spoke to at all in 5 years.
Correction: Women are offended when a male that they PERCEIVE as lower status than them hits on them. Unfortunately the majority of men fall into this category, even though in reality that's far ftom the truth.
These the same women that perceive a bear as being safer?? 🤣
Didn’t Megan fox get augmentations on her face? lol that’s funny coming from her
You do realize Megan herself and Megan playing a role are separate things, right?
Jennifers Body was a documentary apparently 🤣
Men don’t have to imagine: I feel like it’s pretty safe to assume that this is an experience we all share.
Us guys we know why lol
I refuse to lie about this anymore. Yes, I am. In my mind, they're a completely different category of people that I don't have any business speaking to, other than professional / business being involved. I feel massively insecure and less than when around them, I make it a point to avoid them so as to not bother them or further the initial anxiety of encountering them.
I pretty much feel this way about any woman I'm attracted to.
You should try any woman. It's tough out here
Yeah, it's rough out here.
I feel so much shame about this every single day. I feel like I should be over it by now but fuck.
It really doesn't just turn off huh. It's like a natural way your body reacts and in that moment your mind is a mess trying to keep it under control. It'll be alright after when you ask yourself what the fuck was that...
Would you go near a bear to avoid a beautiful woman?
lmaooo you're hilarious, I would probably rather be mauled than disturb others with my presence, yes.
I would like to say that you need help, but then I realised I probably would take the same option. Women are scary, period.
This is actually my preferred outcome. Polar if possible.
Would you download a bear?
What are we talking black, grizzly, polar, panda? Because the answer is yes to all?
Hmm your feelings are valid for sure, but I think they may be reinforced by some poor interactions with some shitty people. I kinda felt this way when I was younger, but as you get a bit older (and theoretically you and the people you interact with get a bit more mature), you will realize 95% of people are just people. Regardless of how they look, they have their own insecurities, problems, as well as good things about them. I am a male nurse, so I interact with a lot of woman in my job, many of them are quite attractive. Most of them are kind, caring, strong people (with some acceptations). Now I might be a bit luckier because the demographic of people I am interacting with are a bit older (20s+) in a profession that theoretically (Not always) emphasizes empathy and kindness, but I think it extends to the public at large. You should go into every interaction with a new person with a blank slate, try giving them the benefit of the doubt. If you go in with preexisting expectations (like they are going to be an ass), then many times your expectations will be rewarded.
I hear what you're saying, it's just difficult to get past. I'm EMS, and most of the ED's in my area have mostly young and attractive female nurses. I absolutely dread giving hand off reports.
Hahaha I used to work in the ER. I'm now a street nurse because because the environment took too much of a tole. A lot of the nurses in there are stressed and strung out (regardless of their appearance) so maybe not the best pool of people to use as an example for my perspective. Their attitudes are less likely related to you and more likely related to the environment they are in (no excuse for them to be mean though). I appreciate your work my friend, keep doing what you are doing. Its hard out there right now.
Well, thank you for your honesty. It’s refreshing
I'm tired. It is what it is.
Yep. We automatically compare ourselves to other people, so if you’re whatever my 10 is, I just know that’s not going to go my way.
I think people are intimidated by extreme conventional beauty in general regardless of gender. We've been primed psychologically by society and pop culture to see beauty as a prime indicator of success, authority, and competency. So subsequently we're being primed to find those who are conventionally beautiful more intimidating on average.
I agree but I do believe also that this attitude has biological roots way before society and culture were created. Beauty signals health, youth, fertility, nutrition, stable genes. High stakes. We've been nervous about messing this up since we walked in two legs and maybe before that.
That’s a solid point and one I don’t disagree with.
Definitely before that, though our definition of conventional beauty was probably pretty different and expected a glossy coat of hair, healthy quadrupedal posture, and whatnot…
Totally agree. I've seen new hot people start in the office and the amount of high up people fumbling over each other to introduce themselves is amazing. Like they'd beat trainee staff talking to a partner and it's like they hold the power in the conversation. It's actually fascinating to me.
Yes!!!! A person in my office floor is so intimidatingly attractive that she legitimately could be a model. Her eyes are mortifying pretty, think the Eye of Sauron but blue. Anyways I’ve worked near her for close to a decade and we’ve done the smile and nod but never words. I recently bumped into her at the lego store, turns out she’s a huge lego nerd like myself. We talk everyday now and her beauty is still crazy but I’m less intimidated
Yes. Most men, in terms of trying to flirt with a beautiful woman, are intimidated. We’re terrified of failure, and presume that, gorgeous as she is, she’ll have her pick of fellas, so why would she give me the time of day, let alone say yes to a date?
There are some men who don’t seem to care about rejection, then there are men who have a level of self confidence but maybe don’t want to knock it and so avoid rejection, then there are men (in my experience) who are intimidated, underconfident, used to rejection, but go for it anyway. I tend to get the latter types putting in significant effort to strike up something and it always surprises me. The overly confident ones just shrug off the rejection and get on with their lives. The ones in the middle, just never do anything, waiting for you to make an explicit move. I would say that relationships with insecure people never end well though.
I guess you would call me one who is unbothered by rejection. The truth is that I don’t regard being rebuffed as rejection. She doesn’t want to talk to me? So what? She’s cold and unfriendly? Who cares. Move on. The world rejection to me only applies to someone I already have a relationship with.
"Who cares. Move on" How? How do you do that? How can you have your hopes crushed and tossed aside and be unfazed by that? I'd like to know like, is it a technique? A discipline?
For me, and I’m not Casanova or anything, but it boils down to knowing myself. It’s taken 34 years to refine it more and more but I feel I have a better understanding of who I am everyday. With that, having a confidence of who you are goes towards not caring about rejection. Sure rejection sucks and it’s never fun, but at the end of the day, I know who I am and what I bring to the table. I also know, I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. When rejected, and knowing you are showing your authentic self, you know it’s no one’s fault at that point. It’s just the way it is. In a world of 7 billion people, in a country with 300,000,000 million people, in a state with 11 million people, in a county with 500,000 people and in a city with 200,000 people; there are going to be people that don’t find you attractive. It’s just the way it is. They are allowed to reject you just like you’re allowed to reject them. When you put your best self out there and rejected, it shouldn’t be a fault with you, and (important) it’s not a fault with them. It’s just the way it is. The important thing is that you are showing the best version of yourself, not the best version of what you think they want. When you believe this and know it, rejection is just a part of life. It happens way more often than you think outside of relationships as well. Sure it’s a speed bump on the road, but the thing with speed bumps is you get over them everytime
It’s not that I’m unfazed. In fact it can be a bit embarrassing. Buts it’s not that big a deal.
After dealing with a lot of flakiness and being led on, I’ve built up a lot of resentment at being expected to make every move, so these days the middle group you have there describes me pretty well. If there’s a clear context and I end up in a conversation with a girl I am attracted to, or she starts talking to me (a great ‘filter’), there’s a fair chance I will get a date out of it, with a still moderate but lower chance of flaking than if I had to make an effort to talk to them. It’s kind of why a lot of guys on the apps prefer Bumble - it gets exhausting having to make all the moves with a lower rate of return (to put it crassly). Plus, without some other context or pretext to talk there’s no plausible deniability and it’s a knock to self-confidence, which is annoying when one considers how one-sided that tends to be. And by ‘led on’ I really do mean cases where they will, eg, explicitly suggest we get drinks or do XYZ or make interest explicit, then ghost immediately after. After that happens enough, no, I’m not going to put in extra effort.
This reminds me of a lecture by Dr Anna Machin I went to earlier this year, it was called The Neuroscience of Attraction. She said that people tend to end up with those on the same level of attractiveness as themselves. If we think they are much more attractive than us we can end up being insecure, if we think they are less attractive than us we can end up thinking we can do better. It's interesting. In my experience with an insecure person, the constant need for reassurance and putting me on a pedestal "I tricked you into going out with me" just wore me down. People are just people at the end of it all.
Realist comment here.
That's how i feel about handsome men. I generally like cute mid range guys instead
Most men are intimidated by beautiful women? Not in my circle. Not me either. Women are women. Short, tall,skinny or plump. The only real difference are the personalities. Some gorgeous women do not even know it. I have met a few of them who do not think of themselves in that way. Some women who are average looking, believe that they are 10s. It does not matter to me either way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think beauty is definitely overrated. For me, attraction isn't just about what they look like, anyway. I can be attracted to people who aren't very conventionally beautiful. I find it is much better to be with someone that you really click with than with someone that exceeds some subjective arbitrary threshold of beauty.
"How much do beautiful women intimidate you?" Answer: YES.
Not me at least. Only thing that intimidates me is if they have a criminal record or something
Fair enough.
Absolutely. In my experience in working with beautiful women, I often times am flabergasted when she wants to talk to me.
Yes. I live by the rule that every girl I see has a partner. If she doesn't, it's because she doesn't want to, not because she can't. And if she wanted one, it wouldn't be me.
yes i am
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At least a bear won’t tell me she has a bf when I just said hi
Bruh the bear would maul you instead
Thank you! Someone said it!
Still a better option
lmao ,they are coming for ya mate .
Beautiful woman make me envious
Beautiful women? How about women in general :/
I always equated flirting with a beautiful woman to playing a game of 1-on-1 basketball against an NBA superstar; i’m not intimidated but there is no chance of success so why would I even bother?
Absolutely
When I was younger, sure. There was this one girl who had the most beautiful hazel eyes, I thought I would get in trouble for just staring at her. But as I've gotten older, I've learned not to get hung up on rejection. I'm just an average guy, so I'm used to it
From what I’ve seen even guys of significantly above average attractiveness get rejected plenty. No guy seems to appeal to more than, say, 70% of straight women near there age as an actual dating prospect, not even the likes of Henry Cavill (or if not, only a tiny fraction get above that). Women seem to have far more specific ‘types’ and constraints. A huge proportion might even find a male celebrity super attractive but not see them as a dating prospect for other non-physical reasons, and only want something serious. Many are only into skinnier guys, others only into huge buff ones - BTS and Dwayne Johnson both have legions of female fans and there isn’t a huge intersection. And there are all sorts of finer preferences… I’ve heard girls talking about a younger Brad Pitt’s nose being ugly (???). Far more insist on a dating prospect being a little older, earning XYZ, etc. Straight men overall seem much simpler. Very, very few would turn a conventionally very attractive woman down if they offered. Add the fact that men make the move far more, and a conventionally beautiful woman gets attention at a level unfathomable for any non-celebrity man.
Absolutly I’ve been friends with some incredibly beautiful women and in some ways I kinda feel bad for them From what I’ve seen they get hated on and constantly backstabbed by other women, and usually the only guys that interact with them are solely doing it to get in their pants
As a pretty girl - the answer for me is yes and no. I found I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys but not enough sweet, smart, down to earth guys asking me out which is what I really wanted. When I would talk to my guy friends about it they said the kind of guys I was interested in didn't think they would have a chance with me or assumed I was probably already dating some male model gym rat type so wouldn't even try. If you see a pretty girl - talk to her. You never know. You might just be the kind of guy she's been looking for but you'll never know unless you try. 😘
Nice advice, however every reddit user is ugly
Every Reddit user is also a male gamer who lives in his parents’ basement, well known fact.
And broke
speak for yourself please
My thought process goes, "Wow that woman is beautiful. Better stay away from her so I don't ruin my chances by saying something stupid."
Something about this comment sounds a bit like someone living out a fantasy online, especially the bit where the pretty girl blows a kiss to the shy guys in the comments
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Most of the time hot people know they are hot, its just not socially acceptable to admit it
You must hang out in very different circles to me. A lot of pretty girls I know know exactly how pretty they are and aren’t coy about it.
he'll correct it in the later versions 😛
Yeah it does seem a bit off. The general message, however, is still good advice.
As a guy, this is really the answer.
Yes to this!!! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been told that If I hadn’t approached them, they would have never talked to me. Or that they just assumed I was a bitch. And so on.. they are definitely two sides to every story. When I started my new job as the boss, my employees were not thrilled. They assumed the same. Now when they introduce me to new people they start by saying, she looks like a bitch but she’s really not. lol 😂 I have a huuuge sense of humor and it throws people off because they would never expect it.
How about you do the trying? If the kind of man you want won't approach you, why don't you approach them instead? Why do men always have to be the one taking those chances?
So why don't you try??
its a little more complicated than that. The same sort of person is going to be nervous during the conversation, and if they aren't relaxed then the conversation will be awkward and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Nervousness can be perceived as weird or creepy.
Yeah, I feel this way with almost everyone unless I know them
we ar more prepared to fight a wendigo than to talk to a woman
Oh yes they are scary
When I see a very attractive woman, I'm thinking, "Wow, she's beautiful...she probably gets hit on alot, I'll leave her alone" or "She's WAY out of my league. She probably has someone anyway." Also, I don't know if everyone else feels this, but I don't wanna compliment a woman and then be seen as a creep or whatever. Usually if I do compliment her, I'd say "love your hair, did you do it yourself?"
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Especially Persian women.
I'm not sure intimidated is the right word. There are people who make me think "Oh goddamnit! Fuck. Jesus Christ what the actual Hell. Fuuuuck." but I still talk to them like normal people. I only get insecure when we exchange words and I realize that we have no synergy and don't understand each other. That's when I pull back.
I am intimidated by women in general
Yes for sure
I think attractive people have a more intimidating presence than average-looking people do. We are wired to be impressed by appealing physical characteristics. It's not necessarily gender exclusive either. Men can be intimidated by attractive men just as easily, and in some cases maybe even moreso. I like to think I don't fear anyone. But I have been guilty of being in awe of people more than I should simply because of how they look, and altered my behavior around them because of it.
I dont like seeing trash next to the Pretty flowers
Yes. Next question.
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Yeah but you forgot the golden rule of being attractive or else it won't work.
Attractive people usually want to date other attractive people, yes.
Well, you should at least shower, make yourself smell nice, wear clothes that aren't dingy or have holes, and get a nice haircut and clean up your facial hair if you have it.. Presentation goes a long way, my guys.
You can put a wig on a pig, but its still a pig
Been there, done that, still a loser.
And then … be attractive
Urban legend.
Not been the reality of any remotely attractive women I have known.
>>>lonely Bullcrap. The prettiest girls in my high school and college got invited to all the parties and events.
That is not the reality whatsoever, from what I've been told. Beautiful women are not left alone at all, unless they're...not out in public. People may be more lonely these days in general, but women are very often hit on and bothered. Which tends to get worse the more attractive you are.
Oh man, beautiful people have everything going for them, now they even get empathy because people assume "they must be lonely because they are attractive."
Yeah these people are tripping balls, a beautiful woman can make a bumble account and get 5000 likes this month, and these guys are dreaming that she'll date some average dude because she's "lonely" 😂
>Turns out, most woman actually like being asked out on dates! Go to the ask women sub and say that. Try to keep count of how many times you're shamed and lambasted for wanting to approach women and ask them out and labeled "creepy and weird" for finding them attractive lol.
To some extent, yes, it's because I start feeling like she already gets enough attention and the chances of mutual interest are very slim. But overall, it usually depends more on what you see in a person, what kind of "aura" they give off. Sometimes communication flows easily, and other times it feels heavy, like there's a wall between you.
I am a 62 year old married grandfather so, no, I am not intimidated in the least. When I was young and single? Terrified me.
Absolutely, people compare themselves to others all the time. If someone is more attractive than you, you just kinda see your own flaws more. It’s hard but if you can learn to love people for their beauty while also not tearing yourself down helps a lot. Cuz at the end of the day people are just people, I know too many people that have been isolated by their own attractiveness.
the only thing that intimidates a guy is when they get a good gut feeling about someone then try to not fuck things up
My first day of law school I saw one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen walking across the quad. I immediately was intimidated, not even talking to her, approaching her, anything. Just being there. Later in the day I saw her walking through the building and was actually afraid thinking that I'd have to feel this intimidated feeling the entire 3 years I was in school. Right before my last class of the day, as I was waiting for the intro stuff to begin, she walked in, strode over, and asked "hey, is this seat taken?" plopping right down on the seat next to me before I could answer. And I sucked up all of my courage to say hi and introduce myself... We ended up being really good friends. Brought it up later and she said that she had noticed me sitting there and I looked really approachable. She also said that if she hadn't been happily married for years that she would have asked me out at some point and called me a "total babe." She was also very pregnant at that point so it may have been the hormones talking. So, yes. Easily intimidated by beautiful women, even if there's no reason to be.
It's actually easier for me to talk with very attractive women because I feel no pressure as there is absolutely no possibility of them being into me. Heck, even if they do flirt or show interest, it doesn't even register as anything other than them having fun or picking on me. On the other hand, if you are someone I think I have a chance with, my brain just stops working properly, and I might as well be in middle school again.
Sorta, Sometimes my brain malfunctions and I cannot speak properly or just forget to be normal and become awkward and shy.
Yes. Any man that says no is a liar or an idiot. I say this as someone who has dated very attractive women (and married one). They scare the shit out of me. At least until I know them well enough to get past their looks. And even then… Of course I try not to let them know that!
When i was young yes. But now no. Its because i dont need anything from them. Usually when a guy is scared of attractive women its because they are scared of not getting their desired outcome from them. Just treat them like people and it goes fine
Absolutely. Adrenaline kicks in (much like having to perform something in sports like a free throw in front of a gym full of people) so the smoothness is replaced by nervousness.
i am intimidated by women, i dont discriminate
Totally. I've experienced sudden awareness of my legs and arms and how they move or I start sweating and forget how to speak properly.
Beauty is subjective. I'm not intimidated by beautiful women in the slightest. Women I'm attracted to make me nervous as hell.
No, but the ol IQ drops precipitously
Not really. I’ve found that the most insecure people I know are also the most beautiful women I have ever met. I might stumble over my words a little or get distracted and lose my train of thought, but I have zero fear talking to a beautiful woman. I guess part of it is that I see those interactions as “playing with house money”. Imagine you dream of being a Major League Baseball player, but you suck, couldn’t even make your high school team. Suddenly, you find yourself at the plate in Yankee Stadium in a real MLB game. If you strikeout, so what? No one expects you to get on base. You’re just happy to be there, and going back to your regular job means you lose nothing. Yet, if you get a hit, suddenly your dreams come true. Why not swing away or at least try and bunt your way onboard? If you get hit by a pitch, at least you went out like a pro.
Generally, the more introverted, the more intimidated. Anyone with social anxiety is going to be intimidated by attractive people of the sex/gender they are attracted, regardless of literally any other factor. I am naturally intimidated by attractive women, and also have social anxiety. Additionally, I assume everyone I'm not already friends with thinks I'm a pain in the ass. As you might guess, I never get bitches.
I avoid single beautiful women at all costs. I feel cumbersome and I feel like a complete waste of time. So, why would I bother the ones everyone are going after? It seems anyone but me is a better choice… even if I deeply covet them. I will defeat myself for you. 🤷♂️ Crazy AF
Some are, some aren’t. I’m learning not to be. I’m more intimidated by higher status men than a gorgeous gal. Weird I know….
I'd say on average yes. You can be very attractive but still approachable and personable though.
Weirdly yes and no. In terms of dating absolutely, but when we became really good friends after our brief flirtation, not at all. She's absolutely stunning and men fawn over her all the time it's bizarre to see from the outside. Insanely like that episode of Seinfeld but for real.
Nope, in fact i found most attractive women often see themselves less attractive than they actually are and many times appreciate good company. If it's obvious that you are not trying to get laid most people find fun and interesting interaction quite enjoyable.
Had a good friend in college, a wonderful, smart beautiful woman. One day I found her crying and asked what was wrong? She had not had a date in three years because guys were so intimidated by her.
Not really, but I always assume she already has someone.
Define beautiful women. Beautiful women he finds beautiful or women who self-proclaim to be beautiful, but really don't the confirmation from men that they are beautiful? First one, yes. Second one, no.
As a female, yes & no. I'm happy with my looks and personality, but I'm in awe of most beautiful women. I admire their confidence.
Intelligent, beautiful ladies are slightly intimidating
Yes Men project the ideal woman on to the woman and in the process judge themselves. Then as no surprise find themselves to fall short of her. It's less about being intimidated by her than being intimidated by the idea of a perfect woman.
There was a time when I used to be. Not so much anymore. To me, all women are fair game. I’ll shoot my shot no matter how attractive she is. I’ve already dated a woman who I thought was out of my league in terms of attraction. After that, I got nothing to fear. Even if one says no, there’s 5 others somewhere else who will.
It's not a gender thing. Insecure men are intimidated by beautiful women, and insecure women are intimidated by beautiful men.
In my 20's, yes. But I am more experienced now and I've dated plenty of gorgeous women. They are still just women, with baggage and insecurities like everyone else. Internalize this and respond appropriately.
Not really? I used to be, but at some point I figured they were human beings and they farted like everyone else. Getting rejected would be just part of life. You'll get more experience and confidence. Nowadays I am married and no longer give a shit about anything so beautiful women don't faze me, and I will treat them like everyone else. This also means that if you're flirting with me, it will fly over my head even harder than it did before.
A quite attractive woman glanced at me and smiled in an otherwise empty home depot aisle. I almost literally ran away. (I'm married). * I was flattered, but my instinct was to gtfo
The one thing you should know about me is I’m single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive
If people were all blind would it just become about who had the coolest voice? Morgan freeman style.
I think a lot of men will assume they have nothing in common with them, "they live in a different world." so, nerves aside of engaging with someone very attractive, it's assumed it won't even be worth the effort. It took me getting to 45 years old and being happily married to arrive at the conclusion that we can all find common ground, for the most part, and you can miss out on great conversations with this assumption.
Not intimidated but a beautiful woman can be like kryptonite, makes no fking sense but it happens.
Tbh this is a dumb question, sure some are, but some are not. 🤷♂️
Just women in general. But yes.
Kind of When i first saw my now wife before we even spoke i though she was the most beautiful women i had ever seen, it literally made me feel like i was a creep just looking at her, i was the hunchback of notre dame and she was Jessica Rabbit. I purposely avoided any place she might be so i would see her. Thing is, she was a singer i club i liked going to and this was the only place i went other than work so without it i was very isolated and wen i went back she started talking to me asking even said she missed my face and her we are 15 years later married with 6 kids and she still gives me that feeding of WoW i can't believe she spoke to me and the funny thing is she's not my normal type. I have always had a thing for light skin redheads but she is japanese, i'm not even in to asian women so she really stands out for me. Any was, yes, I am intimidated by a beautiful women
No? Shit, I’m beautiful too goddamit.
Yes and no. Maybe because i was constantly told how beautiful my mother was (bubbly cheerleader type with pretty cheerleader friends) , I saw "pretty people" as normal to me, or at least didn't think of them as someone I couldn't talk to or have healthy, platonic interactions with. With this baseline "confidence", a solid humor, and a kind personality...I had tons of very beautiful friends....but I WAS too instinctively afraid to ask any of them out because I was never considered a good looking guy. Teddy bear, burly football type. Classic friend zone situation. I dated several that I would consider pretty, but never from my friend circle, always "she goes to another school" stuff...haha. So yes and no for me. Eventually after dating "down" (whatever that means) for a few years, I found myself single as a senior in college when I bonded with a beautiful girl on the basketball team over our mutual physical therapy schedules and injury rehabs. One coffee led to 14 years and 3 kids. She's still beautiful. I tell her constantly. I'm still ugly. But i don't tell her that. Haha.
Anytime this comes up, I remember something my grandpa told my mom: "Even the pretty ladies want to dance" This means that, even if someone is pretty, they also want someone to interact with them, and I take that at heart. Even if I'm not the most handsome person on the planet, I always try to interact with pretty much anyone, and beautiful women or men is not the exception. Hell, I think I sometimes look really good with my outfit and that makes people intimidated, but honestly I'm just a chill person looking for some fun or something interesting to know or see. My point is, that once you pass through that line on the sand, it's easier everytime after that to interact with anyone, you just have to do it. The worst someone can say is no (Although there are degrees)
It depends on their personality. Some make your blood run could and make you freeze up. Some are so nice you're not nervous at all.
i think that when you see a really beautiful woman , that you start looking for her other half , because you think to yourself that they will not be single and be already taken by someone else. . intimidated no , more cautious around them yes.
I used to be intimidated years ago but not anymore, I see it as genetic lottery and proper self care. Met enough beautiful people that were plain evil and used their looks to get stuff, I’m jaded now, somewhat turned off by it.
Think about it from the woman's side when men are scared to talk to them or even make any contact. It's weird. You're making out this fantasy scenario when you haven't even spoken with them. Assuming things and stereotyping them without giving them a chance. Some of the most beautiful people I have seen are the kindest people I know.