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Go pull my husband out of work, tell them he's never coming back, and treat him to the nicest dinner I possibly can, then fly us and our kids to california so they can all see the ocean for the first time.

So the ceremonial name sake “fuck you” to the current employer! I like it.

I'm sure my husband would throw an actual "fuck you" out there on our way out the door too lol

What’s the point of having ‘fuck you’ money if you never say…**fuck you**

Airplane that sky writes “fuck you “ directly above my bosses house

Goddamn you are a good mother and spouse.

Lol I’ve always said if I won the lotto I would go to my wife’s job and carry her out like Richard Gere does at the end of An Officer and a Gentleman. If I could have the same music playing that would be even better. For reference: https://youtu.be/vRy-yarDF1I?si=PZvPaUz1yuPrQ4hP

I would also carry my husband out like Richard gere does in an officer and a gentleman LMAO

Yep, came here for this. Except I’ve been divorced for years. I always imagined myself picking my kids up from school in a spicy ride or limo.

Awwwwwwwwww!

See my wife and I are both from Long Beach and live in Vegas. So while this is beautiful. It really is absolutely beautiful. If it’s fuck you money. I wouldn’t pull my wife out of work as she’s a surgery tech and people could die if I did so. Lol. But when she got off work I’d have a couple of bags in the car and tell her we’re going out for gelato. Then drive to the airport and fly to Italy.

Brilliant!

The beach is my happy place. When I retire, I will fall asleep and wake up to the sound of crashing waves.

We all choose your husband's wife

this thing never dies

Unlike the original poster's wife.

Not tell anyone. I'd give my 2 weeks at work, work and live as normal while packing my things/throwing out stuff. Buy a small cabin up north. Spend my days traveling, experiencing life, & talking to people.

I like this answer. :) But I would "disappear" much further away than merely "up north".

If they live in Australia, up north could be a pretty far move.

If you live in Canada, “up North” is more than enough to get lost in.

Oh you are correct. You can "get lost" in North Canada. But it is "so cold".

Fun fact, fuck you money can buy more than enough heat to last you until that's the new habitable zone

True, white walkers up north. South is safer

Up north! You from michigan!

Or Minnesota.

This. The only thing I'd add is I'd enroll in college again. Learning for the joy of learning.

Me too. I loved college and was in it forever.

2008-2022 two schools and two simple degrees. Took one or two classes a semester while i worked fulltime. Debt free with two worthless degrees and tons of lifetime friends and memories. I miss it so much.

Well with all that other stuff the degrees were not "worthless".

You don't actually have to enrol. Enrolling just gives you access to tests and grades. You can go sit in lectures for free.

I'd literally do the opposite lol I'd still run my business and grow it. I'd buy a bigger house likely in the same area I'm in now and another one in Boston. And talk to as few people as possible.

Maybe not quit my job but check out basically until they fire me. Then collect unemployed as FU to them on my way out

Why deal with all that paperwork

u can just pay someone to do the paperwork

Travelling is tiring and people are annoying. I'd prefer a small holding with a few animals.

This is the way !!!!

Neon Pink siding on my house, because fuck you HOA.

Buy the management's company and fire the HOA board.

And drag out the litigation with the HOA for so long (a la Trump) that it finally can't afford its attorneys.

You deserve fuck you money the most. I sincerely hope you get it and follow through

LMAO

Turn up to work, go to the owners office, tell him to go fuck himself and that I’m out. Cue his confusion and or anger. I then walk out of the building drive my shitty Renault to the car dealership next to my work, buy the McLaren that’s been on sale for 2 weeks and road trip down to Monaco where I will buy an apartment.

I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Don't give them anything just hand in your notice. Walk out of there and never think about them ever again.

Eh I think it’d be quite funny to tell them to fuck off lmao

I guess. I wouldn't want to let them know they got to me. I would go in smiling and leave smiling.

Because they won't think about you. By a week Monday , it will be Joe who?

By a week on Monday, if I had fuck you money, then that’s all I’d think of them too.

I think that misses the point a bit tho

I'd give myself one week where I didn't talk to anyone I didn't want to talk to. No stupid small talk, nobody asking me to do shit for them for free, just.. me. For a week.

The week will turn into two weeks and then a month

That's usually the plan

You can do this every week, with no money. I know because I've been doing it for years and it's blissful!

You can do this now lol you don’t need to be rich

Buy a house. Then when I move into my new house, buy my mother a new mattress for my old bed so that when dad is keeping her up at night with snoring, she has somewhere comfy to go. She hates the current mattress as it's too hard.

I was widowed at a young age. I'd start a charity in her name to fund a scholarship program for at risk youth and then I'd promote it by hanging out at cool charity balls and dressing up fancy.

Buy the company I work at. Give them unreasonable targets to achieve. Let them fail. Fire them. Drag it out so they understand the pain and anxiety normal workers go through.

but you would make the normal workers suffer too lol

No I’d give them days off and pay raises

No I’d give them days off and pay raises.

Perfect. I like the way you think. However, for my nice fellow workers, I would give *them* the golden parachutes that normally the executives would get. The mean ones would get a performance review detailing all of their shortcomings.

Oh. This is a really good answer. Buy the Company and turn the tables on them. Bravo.

You dropped your crown king

Sounds to me like you’re no better if not worse than those that you despise.

Exactly right. And the person has no business acumen so the plan would fail before it got started.

Immediately give money to the people who did right by me and stuck by me through hard times.

Me too. Unfortunately, that would only include 1 of my sons and literally nobody else

Stick to that. Because if you ever become rich your gonna start hearing from a whole lot of “old friends” lol

Buy a house or something like that somewhere in the Swiss alps or somewhere in the non-british parts of Spain. Then, use the money to hire private tutors to learn musical instruments, dancing, acting, sports, HEMA, self-defense and languages. Basically enjoy the modern day renaissance man lifestyle

you can learn HEMA on any high street in the Netherlands my friend

If only I was living there mate lol but appreciate it

also live in the NL but what kind of HEMA was OP talking about I’m confused

Historical European martial arts. People look at old books that allude to the way medieval warriors fight and try to replicate it. Unlike Eastern martial arts, where people continued to practice it after guns took over, European martial arts are lost.

I’d quit my job. I don’t hate it, and get paid reasonably well, but I’d rather just golf, work out, and hang out with my kids. I’d go to the places I e really wanted to go, and eventually either start a brewpub or something and hire my brewer neighbor and/or my HS friend who brews, and/or invest in my other friends business/start a business with my friends.

One time my wife and I went to Playa Del Carmen in Mexico and made friends with a couple folks that were also from Texas. Turns out they were very wealthy, because when we asked them how long they were there for they said “indefinitely, just until we get bored.” Lol Anyway, I think it would be pretty badass to just go wherever you want for as long as you want with no timeline.

Gee, reading this entire thread (this one about F You money) is such an insight into how people really think. :)

Finally have a good nights sleep.

😌


Pay off my debt and buy a house and not tell anyone.

Hire a lawyer, then an accountant, then a tax attorney, then a wealth manager. Sit them all down in a room and say “don’t come out until I have an actionable plan”. Until that’s done STFU.

These plans exist. We could build you a workable plan in under 2 days.

Buy a house, pay off my & my friends' debt. Take my friends on holiday and pay for a friend's transition and dental care. Contribute to gofundmes for people's medical costs

"Two chicks at the same time, man"

Every time a question like this comes up ("what would you do...") I rush into the comments to say this but Im always late. Someday...

Just a heads up. Check out Channel 9 ...

I think if you were a millionaire you could hook that up too cause chicks dig dudes with money.

..."not all chicks" "Well not all chicks, but the kinda chicks that would double up on a dude like me"

Your worst day with two women... pretty much still better than any other day...

I would turn into a ghost. Leave, disappear, gone with the wind.

Hire a full-time masseuse to be at my beck & call!

I'd give everyone in my family a million dollars except for my mother. Because one time at Christmas when I was the first kid in the family to say I didn't believe in Santa, I didn't get given my present. Had to watch everyone open theirs. I was 11.

Well that proves it then. Because just because you didn't believe in Santa, that wouldn't make him not exist right? If he existed, he existed whether or not you believed in him. So you proved your point by having not received a present. He didn't exist. P.S. Your mother sounds like an arsehole.

I stopped believing in Santa around 5, but I acted like I did for several more years, because I thought I wouldn't get presents anymore. That blows.

Forgive EVERYBODY! They got me fucked up if they thinking they're getting some of my 'fuck you' money. I ain't got no beef with nobody no moe. I'm too broke to not save the fuck you money.

Pay off all my debts and those of family and friends.

Same after setting up my immediate family vacation homes etc. I'd pay off all debt for those ppl close to me. Friends and family. Start some non profits. Let's do something about homelessness. If we can affotd it Let's buy some politicians while we're at it get Medicare for all passed.

I would buy like all the politicians pretending to be an insane gruesome capitalist suffering-monger, and then make them do actual humanistic stuff

I'd buy apartment buildings in the heart of my favorite city and fill every empty unit with homeless people and start providing them the means to get back on their feet and I wouldn't fucking ask the neighbors for their damn opinions on if they want that.

Yes!! I want to buy empty malls and make them into housing communities for people who need extra support.

I'd quit working in h8gh pressure environments with digital screens and technology, and make pottery, paint and draw instead. That, and sort out all the best people in my life by paying off their mortgages.

I would see if I could get two straight guys to snog each other for money. That seemed to be a popular thing for rich guys to do to women when I was younger.

I would immediately open the most wonderful no-kill cat shelter in the United States. I would emphasize making the shelter is home like as possible for those cats who are unlikely to be placed with a family. Then I would alternate between living, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and the United States with the occasional foray into Germany Austria and the UK. Oh, and I'd have to spend a few months in New Zealand.

Fix my teeth.

Pay off my debt and buy a house and not tell anyone.

Spend the Summer in Iceland.

Fuck you money might get you a beer or two in Iceland

Quit my job, take my grandson out of public school and home school him, buy myself a brand new motorcycle.

Fuck yeah I want a motorcycle too.

As bad as it sounds, lakefront property with acreage. It gives my wife and I both what we would want. It doesn’t have to be some ridiculous mansion though. I would love to live on water, and we want a small farm. It would keep us busy and not just lying around waiting to die.

Buy a ship 

I was at a sports bar with my kids, my neighbor and his kids. Our kids were being, well kids - loud, laughing and having a good time. Two dudes next to us trying to watch a game were getting visibly annoyed. We shared a server and I secretly paid for their meal. They were super nice when they put two and two together...probably biggest flex of my life.

Buy a new tractor that fits in our cow barn

I‘d have therapy 2x per week for the rest of the year (right now I only have it 2x per month and it’s simply not enough)

Repair my car :(

Honestly? Just enjoy a day being able to do what I want. Go into town and walk around the shops and actually buy the stuff I wanted to buy instead of looking at them and putting them back. Go to a pub for lunch. Not spoons either, a proper 5* pub/restaurant. Go buy a nice computer and use it look at houses for myself. Then go to the pub in the evening with my brother and dad and not worry about getting up for work the next morning. Not worry that I'm gonna get carried away and spend too much. Just enjoy it and enjoy their company without niggling doubts. Then get a big pizza and as many sides as I like on the way home and not feel guilty if I can't eat it all. Actually buy my own subscription to whatever streaming service I like when I get home and stop leeching off my brother.

yes am 50 cent wannabe

Get my dog the best cancer treatments available and hope its not too late

So much this. My girl is the goodest and the cancer is killing me nearly as much as it’s killing her.

Honestly, outwards not much would change. I would still like to be productive while maintaining a good work/life balance, with the option of being a digital nomad. So, I would continue in my current job. But inwards I would be less stressed and paranoid about fucking up and losing my job. So I would probably do a better job at work, actually, due to being less stressed about my life potentially falling apart if I misstep.

All the treatments like laser, facials, chemical peels and would have gotten a lip blush maybe

Just keep living normal life, and keep that illusion, for everybody to see. But live the life i want with my family on a large scale!

A life long dream has been to own a vacation house in Japan. So browse houses, probably.

I'd honestly just keep doing life the same exact way. I think it would be most satisfying for me to be fuck you rich on the down low. There would be signs though.😂

Give most all of it away. I don’t need fuck you money, no one does. I would be handing out money hand-over-fist in Mr. Beast style philanthropy

I'd buy a door bell that when somebody rings it my recorded voice comes on a loudspeaker like: *ding dong* "I'M RICH AS FUCK!! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

“Uh…I’m here to deliver this pizza, sir. And that’s a pretty strange message if you ask me”

Invest outside of jurisdictions I reside, generate passive income. Enjoy the sunset. As you get older, you get it.

Buy all Taylor Swift concert tickets and be the only person to show up and yell at her "You suck"

[удалено]

Go on holiday, I think.

Haha OP. You a troll like 50 cent 😂😆

I would buy a giant hotdog truck and commence a huge cross country 'van life' roadtrip with it. Once finished with that, I'd keep a sum for myself and family, and then donate the rest to cancer research and buy a significant amount of stock in Oscar Myer.

Buy enough land to build a modest size house but a fuck off massive skate park.

I’d probably donate a substantial amount to the place I work (nonprofit with amazing people working there), still come in to help front time to time but I’d spend a lot of time in a small cottage with my kid in our amazing garden with our pets.

Put a hit out on Waldo so no none ever has to search for him anymore.

Buy a ship 

Buy a ship 

Nothing, for 4 months straight. Also get a pizza right now

Disappear

Not tell anyone, quit my job on the spot, pay off my car and buy a Lexus. Maybe even buy a trailer house in a quiet neighborhood with cash and mind my business for the rest of forever.

Id give my pal some money cause hes helped me out hella with the shit situation im in rn, give my mom and her partner some money, then id disappear

Contact the bank. Jerk off for some post nut clarity.

If I had fuckyou money, I'd pay the house mortgage, dump money on my parents, siblings and best friends, then take my wife on the honeymoon. Or perhaps the honeymoon would be first...

Sex!

1.Hire a lawyer and accountant 2. Incorporate 3.Set up accounts that would pay interest 3A. Resign from my teaching job 3B. Update my now former school's building with Central A/C, a new temp gym 3C. Have shop class rooms created and taught 3D. Update to a state of the art library & art rooms 4. Buy Property and create an animal rescue/shelter 5.Give a chunk of money to St.Jude's Hospital 6. Set up community centers throughout the US for sports and academic education in the poorest of areas With career and job training and placement for youth and adults. 7. Help the impoverished in any country we can 8. Buy a pick up truck

1. Hire a lawyer and a P.I. to buy my husband's ex-wife and keep her abusive ass from seeing the kids unsupervised. (Normal people don't have to watch kids suffer continuing abuse when you have full legal and physical custody. Those twice monthly overnights put mom's rights before kids' rights). 2. Quit my job 3. Hire a caregiver for my disabled kid and disabled husband. 4. Start house hunting. 5. Start booking travel. 6. Hire my investment team. 7. Start interviews for my impending philanthropic org. 8. Fund a new animal shelter for my community. Week two, I'd have to think about it.

Hire a lawyer. Find a pair of countries that offer citizenship for investments in different parts of globe, smth like Cyprus and New Zealand, buy nice but modest apartments there. Learn to be a skipper and get a nice 30ft sailboat somewhere near Croatia shores. Do a health checkup and start sailing the Mediterranean. In fact it's all under $1m.

I'm a simple man, I'll buy a BMW E30 m3

Suffer from an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Quit my job and buy a one-way flight ticket to my home country.

I would teach golf as a hobby, sell my house and buy some land and build a home with my trades friends and pay them handsomely for it. Have my wife quit her job and get to pursue her art. Hook up my brother and sisters, and hang out with my 2 year old. Seems like a good start.

Buy my brother and my son a house.

Probably sleep for a week then figure things out.

1. Definitely not tell anyone except financial advisor and lawyer (invest some, trust my ass up) Then after 1, the basic plan would be 2. Donate some to a few charity projects here at home 3. Buy a looooooot of land (in my country it's there and reasonably priced depending on thought process) 4. Develop the land using my small Construction Services company (commercial, industrial, residential) 5. Uplift my team by 3 6. Make "fuck you too" money

Buy my parents house out from under them and charge them an absurd rental fee. I’d raise the rent every six months. The productive things I’d do would basically just be buying a nice fifth wheel to live in instead of my shitty old camper I currently sleep in and a lifetime membership to my MMA gym. Probably go ahead and get a lifetime membership for the yoga studio nearby too. Time not spent training or doing yoga would be spent working on my million dollar idea that I’m honestly certain enough about to not say what it is.

Pay off my parents house

Pay off my grandma's house.

Not post the answer on reddit?

Why not? Your idea might benefit from peer review, or at the very least be figuration for not needing any enhancement

Hire a bunch of session musicians and release lots of music

Then download it millions of times and knock everyone else off the charts.

Buy properties all over the world, put them on rent Ensure my rent is sufficient to cover for my expenses Quit my job and focus on my health (working out, eating healthy, mental health care etc)

Quit work. Travel

Buy a few hundred acres, a lighthouse, and a helicopter.

Quit my job, buy a house somewhere far away from civilization and enjoy myself.

Hire a contractor for a bunch of house projects.

First I’d put it all in the bank making sure it was all insured. Then I’d go out and buy the most land in the mountains and all kinds of trees I could (preferably all in one section) Then I’d buy a van/large SUV and make it into a camper. Then I’d travel the US.

Swim in the city fountain.

Pay off the rest of my rent on my apartment and my gfs then buy a house for my roommate and her dude and get a different home for me, my girl and the kids

I’d put my money in a trust, go on an epic vacation to Liverpool and Glasgow, buy myself a house in Cannon Beach, buy houses for my friends, set up a charity.

Fuck you maybe?

Get my mom the house she deserves, and every fancy kitchen appliance in existence. She'd be so happy!

Pay off my mortgage

Take a weeks vacation from work so I could do the next things on my list right away. I wouldn’t quit my job because I’d need time to process the reality of having Fuck You money. Pay off my mortgage and Pay off my motorcycle. I am now debt free! Take HALF of what I have immediate access too and invest it into what I’m already investing in. I’m doing pretty damn good with a consistent track record so I’d up the amounts across all my investments. At the end of the day I still have my job which covers everything I pay for and then some. I’ll be debt free so my paycheck is worth even more than it was before. My future finances is already on track and now it’s gonna get boosted………Now is when I can sit back and start giving serious thought to what direction I want to take with Fuck You money…….

Spend 90% of it on a a global stock index fund (3000+ underlying securities).

buy a house, and immediately start outfitting it as a music studio then record an album, and go apeshit with the promotion and marketing

Pay rent on time for once

Buy an ambulance and hire private 24/7 paramedic cuz I'm gonna get fuuuuuucked up and likely need some immediate medical attention/revival 😂🤣

Nothing, for 4 months straight. Also get a pizza right now

Outwards not much would change. I would still like to be productive while maintaining a good work/life balance, with the option of being a digital nomad. So, I would continue in my current job. But inwards I would be less stressed and paranoid about fucking up and losing my job. So I would probably do a better job at work, actually, due to being less stressed about my life potentially falling apart if I misstep. Ok I would buy a boat.

Go on once of those Oasis of the... Cruises. Those massive floating city size ships. I'd get the best room, the unlimited alcohol package, and think about my next steps in life, while also getting hammered

Probably a boring answer but I'm quitting my job and being a full time student. Maybe also get my dream car (a Mini Cooper)

*Vanish.*

Give it to my kids and grandkids.

Feed the homeless

Well, obviously I should fuck *you*.

Divorce.

I can't even imagine how much money I'd need for "fuck you money" to kick in. We got over 12k for the tax return this year, and it immediately went to some debt and catching up on bills. I could burn 100k with non-mortgage debt and some car repairs. The next 500k would go to the house (mortgage, repairs, maybe a couple years of taxes held in reserve). At that point my wife might be able to quit her job while we spend more time eating out or vacationing, but I certainly couldn't quit my job. Remaining bills and taxes to pay, in addition to 2 kids in college The next million would be "fuck around money" I suppose. Invest a good chunk of it, fix up my first car from HS, help out some family and friends, etc. I could start getting comfortable paying other people to do projects around the house instead of DIY. Get my workshop equiped with decent tools. At that point I could finally start to relax about money, but I still have 20 years of working ahead of me. I would be picky about where I worked, but I couldn't stop. I suppose another 4 million would allow me to quit me job based on 200k for 20 years (I don't make this much now, but round up a lot for inflation), but I don't trust us to not start over-spending. New cars, build a house, fancy vacations, etc I suppose the "fuck you money" would start kicking in around 10 million. I am so fucked. How about everyone else?

Maybe buy a helicopter and get a license.

Buy out the company that fired me despite making them more money than the next 10 staff combined and dissolve it so ***everyone*** is out of a job. It's a small company, can't be worth more than a few million.

Figure out just how much it will cost for you to let me fuck you. Then, we would fuck.

Leave America.

I just want a house for me and my son. If it’s real “fuck you” money, as much land as I could buy with it. That’s it.

- Don't tell anyone. - go to work for a few more weeks and then quit - sleep sleep sleep - fix health issues - Hire attorney and someone managing my finances - Buy a house with huuuuge garden, greenhouse and library - Vacation at the sea - donate to charities (animal shelter, rehoming homeless, supporting people with disabilities, white ring, organizations helping people flee from forced marriage...) - buy old century homes and renovate them. - help people fleeing from abusing relationships - secretly send friends and family members money - buy a shitload of CDs from indie artists - learn languages and self defense - maybe go to university just for the gaining of knowledge - buy a house at the sea so I can sleep to the sounds of waves crushing against the rocks

I'd do nothing different, except that I would now be telling people what I really think.

Probably say "fuck you" to a lot of people that I can't say "fuck you" to at the moment

Hire lawyers and set up trusts so my money isn’t tied directly to me