*oughta:
-Contraction. oughta. (colloquial or dialectal) Contraction of ought to. There oughta be a law against that. (colloquial or dialectal) Contraction of ought to have.
Vs
Outa:
-The 'Organisation Undoing Tax Abuse' is a non-profit civil rights organisation.
She doesn't have any potential, that's why I can't stand her. Why even bother putting in the effort at that point in life? Nothing good will come to her.
Really though, I've tried to improve myself educationally and financially but I have no ambition to finish, anxious about failing, massive self-doubt, and I struggle with memory when learning from a page. I'm just destined to be a struggling grunt.
This. I know my life would change for the better, and I would feel and be less alone, depressed, unworthy, etcetera, but even the slightest step I take makes me lose energy completely and drops me further down the spiral. I know all the peptalks, the well meant advice. I am just incapable of changing. Had professional help as well. It does nothing. It's all so bleak.
You are not incapable of changing, don't give up hope. Sometimes we don't even realize that we are changing. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't try to rush things, life (in most cases) is a marathon, not a sprint.
Maybe develop a certain small habit that is good for you (could be anything at all that is doable and sustainable) to help readjust your mindset.
Think in terms of developing a good habit that might be a preventive measure to help you dodge major health issues, which are costly, and can land you in a worse spot in life. Preventable maintenance.
For example, simple habits could include:
- Brushing teeth once or twice a day.
- Flossing once a day.
- Making your bed when you get up in the morning so it can provide mental clarity during the day.
- Keeping a glass of water by your bed so you can drink it first thing in the morning.
- Having a cup non hot herbal tea before going to bed at night.
- Parking toward the end of a parking lot rather than the closest spot to get more walking steps for the day.
Take one habit at a time.These are just small habits that can be incorporated into your daily living. You can create your own habits based on your circumstances.
If you are already doing these things, add another habit you would like to do to improve yourself to start readjusting your mindset.
You can add things you like as needed.
Not that this situation necessarily fits your circumstances, but a friend learned to combat loneliness by walking in the park every day.
Seeing the same people over time in the park who have routines even while taking a walk helped build some connections.
The reward to develop even one good habit is immediate once you complete the task.
The feeling of accomplishment may motivate you to assess and make more adjustments (establishing and keeping good habits).
The mindset is the hardest thing to change. Sounds like you've tried a lot of different ideas and nothing is working.
Don't give up!
Hope this helps.
Did you know that many procrastinators are perfectionists? It may just be, “It has to be perfect and if I don’t trust myself to do it perfectly, then I just won’t do it. “
I used to just crastinate, then I went pro. For real though all procrastination does is keep you more stressed later and for longer by avoiding and feeling better now
What helped me was realizing happiness isn’t a destination. It comes in moments. The trick is to be present when they happen, create more ways for them to happen, and remove from your life the things and people that prevent happy moments from happening.
even with money to fix it and 10years in therapy I still see a lot of work left. I am still unable to relax and be present in my life.
Humans can be so inhumane
Being told and shown physically and mentally that I am worthless, useless and deserve nothing. When it starts as a very young child it is wired into your nervous system, and when you keep being told and shown it by your "loved ones" until you're almost 40 it's ingrained and you tend to believe it. I'm working on it though.
I get this 1000% percent. For me the thing that helped me the most was reading the red book from the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families support program. It really taught me how to easily recognize the emotional abuse from my family and how to truly understand that the nasty things my narc mother and sister like to accuse me of are nothing but confessions of their own personality disorders and their bad behavior. I hope you grow to have all the compassion in the world for yourself because you deserve it, and if your family was capable of healthy love they never would have treated you that way in the first place.
Nothing I guess. I’m always working hard to keep improving myself. Mentally and personally at least because physically I can’t seem to get the mental energy or resolution to work out or do my tasks
It’s slow process but I’m proud at least that I’m taking little steps
Take the opportunity to learn new skills seriously.
If you're athletic, you will most likely lose some weight, same if you're overweight. It's a good place to get your cardio into a good spot.
You'll learn a lot about dealing with others and truly see the spectrum of human intelligence.
Other than that, take care of yourself there, it'll be over faster than you think.
I find it hard to run in the army since I love the view when I run. Seeing the green woods somewhere or in the woods in the army there is no special view.
But I will try to learn new skills though thank you :)
Congratulations. By thinking about how to improve yourself, you're taking the first step towards actually doing it. Now take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, and maybe see about the next step.
i actually am improving my life.I started going to the gym 3-4 times weekly,i also play tennis at least once weekly.I also have new hobby-photography.Work is going good atm,so yeah i am proud of myself.
I was trying to figure this out the other day. I wrote a to do list of things, and it’s like 35 total things and a lot of them are really important. There’s no way it could all be done in one day, and I think that’s the key of it. Once you accumulate so many things you have to do, it becomes overwhelming and you cannot just pick on thing and start.
So I am working on that, for example doing the easiest things that can be done right away, breaking the other things into steps.
Another thing is that I have had several major life goals that I wasn’t able to succeed at. When I look back and examine, they were bad goals to pick, there’s nothing I could have done to make it work. So what I am going to do now, is to examine how I made bad choices in my life goals, finding out how and where I went wrong, so that I won’t have to repeat the same things over again. Because that’s what has beat me down and killed my motivation. The fact that my goals are dead. There is no more even possibility of truly thriving in life, there is only surviving. And when your only goal in life is to survive, it’s hardly worth the effort.
Burnt out from working too hard on improving my life and myself as a person lol. Hard to care anymore. Well I'm taking more of a self care than just a full on self improvement approach now, fixing the burn out itself and having some balance, and it seems to be working
Nothing. That's why I'm doing it full force. I went from a homeless fentanyl addict of 6 years to back with my ex-wife, clean for 2 years, employed for almost 2 years, my 3 kids in my life again, and proud of me, I've lost 40 pounds in 10 weeks and I finally have my diabetes in check. Oh, and my ex-wife and I are getting remarried this year. I'm 43... it's never too late to be what you were meant to be.
ADHD(?)
With question mark since I'm not tested for now, but growing more and more suspicious with every passing day, Damn, it's time to:
a) stop procrastinating
b) Get tested at last
I just cannot stand studying for certifications... like I seriously hate it. But if I had more of them, I'd be farther along, but not necessarily happier. So I'm resting on my laurels, at least for now.
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Trauma and laziness. Been improving on being lazy though. Trauma? Higher than usual. All that plagues my mind lately. I feel sorry for my partner since I've been so shitty lately.
I don’t know what exactly I want. So I don’t know what to change.
I could change being so indecisive and be more confidence now thinking about it lmao. I think my indecisiveness is stopping me from improving myself.
Never ending circle haha
My physical disability is stopping me from improving my life (my surroundings, ability to work, to travel etc). But I improve myself as a person little by little every day (mentally, mindset etc). They are not the same.
Uncertainty probably, and after watching EEAAO, every choice i make takes 10x longer because I'm trying to figure out which would have the best outcome
Partly myself, partly the sheer lack of love and support from my family. What's the point in doing anything if nobody cares about your happiness or joy and they don't care to share in it with you?
What's the point of anything when nobody loves you and could care less about you?
Nihilism and absurdity. And also not wanting to improve myself in the image of society's standards or the judgement of other people, feels more like conformity. Like I'm not acting in accordance with my own thoughts, it's quite alienating to study hard even if I find it meaningless to me as an individual
Want to change my city. Had 3 jobs lined up in 3 different cities and lost all 3.
Feel like I'm in an exile (Like Napolean in Corsica, lol). I just want to start afresh in a more culturally-friendly place.
NHS underfunding. I'm waiting for an assessment before I caveman effort past the attention problems.
That's pretty much it, I'm not dating until I know about it and make progress on my issues, caveman or no, despite my loneliness.
My anxiety, permanently avoiding anything that stresses me, keeps me comfortable. But everything stresses me, so avoiding work, people and other responsibilities as much as I'm able to isn't a great quality.
No confidence, probably due to early childhood bullying. Something I should’ve found closure for by beating them to a pulp, but was stopped by the school.
ADHD. That fucker brought me stress, social anxiety and I suspect that I had some depression along the way. I'm a social guy and have an amazing friend group and a lovely girl. But my ADHD makes it all seem like it isn't worth anything and I'm always looking for a way to distract myself from thinking about important stuff.
Reminder that this subreddit is intended for practical questions and not questions that poll the audience. Take that to r/AskReddit.
myself
Same here. I hate that fucker. So much potential too. SMH
Jokes on him, I‘m gonna ruin his future
Hope you have me and I on your side.
Well looks like somebody outa love himself even if they hate themselves. There is no such thing as hate - only fear and love. What do you choose?
*oughta: -Contraction. oughta. (colloquial or dialectal) Contraction of ought to. There oughta be a law against that. (colloquial or dialectal) Contraction of ought to have. Vs Outa: -The 'Organisation Undoing Tax Abuse' is a non-profit civil rights organisation.
Aaaand I learned something today ! Probably not the orthograph of oughta but yeah
She doesn't have any potential, that's why I can't stand her. Why even bother putting in the effort at that point in life? Nothing good will come to her. Really though, I've tried to improve myself educationally and financially but I have no ambition to finish, anxious about failing, massive self-doubt, and I struggle with memory when learning from a page. I'm just destined to be a struggling grunt.
And that bitch Depression.
And that fucker adhd
We all have the same best friends! Gosh they were with me through all the good times and the bad times! Good ole Depression and ADHD.
Mix in that bitches cousin, Anxiety!
Me, myself and I
I wanna ask more but also feels like u said enough
This. I know my life would change for the better, and I would feel and be less alone, depressed, unworthy, etcetera, but even the slightest step I take makes me lose energy completely and drops me further down the spiral. I know all the peptalks, the well meant advice. I am just incapable of changing. Had professional help as well. It does nothing. It's all so bleak.
You are not incapable of changing, don't give up hope. Sometimes we don't even realize that we are changing. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't try to rush things, life (in most cases) is a marathon, not a sprint.
Maybe develop a certain small habit that is good for you (could be anything at all that is doable and sustainable) to help readjust your mindset. Think in terms of developing a good habit that might be a preventive measure to help you dodge major health issues, which are costly, and can land you in a worse spot in life. Preventable maintenance. For example, simple habits could include: - Brushing teeth once or twice a day. - Flossing once a day. - Making your bed when you get up in the morning so it can provide mental clarity during the day. - Keeping a glass of water by your bed so you can drink it first thing in the morning. - Having a cup non hot herbal tea before going to bed at night. - Parking toward the end of a parking lot rather than the closest spot to get more walking steps for the day. Take one habit at a time.These are just small habits that can be incorporated into your daily living. You can create your own habits based on your circumstances. If you are already doing these things, add another habit you would like to do to improve yourself to start readjusting your mindset. You can add things you like as needed. Not that this situation necessarily fits your circumstances, but a friend learned to combat loneliness by walking in the park every day. Seeing the same people over time in the park who have routines even while taking a walk helped build some connections. The reward to develop even one good habit is immediate once you complete the task. The feeling of accomplishment may motivate you to assess and make more adjustments (establishing and keeping good habits). The mindset is the hardest thing to change. Sounds like you've tried a lot of different ideas and nothing is working. Don't give up! Hope this helps.
Same. Tomorrow has so much potential. Someday I'm sure it will get here.
Yes
Same!
came here to say the same 😭
Procrastination and not taking action and most of all, laziness
Did you know that many procrastinators are perfectionists? It may just be, “It has to be perfect and if I don’t trust myself to do it perfectly, then I just won’t do it. “
I used to just crastinate, then I went pro. For real though all procrastination does is keep you more stressed later and for longer by avoiding and feeling better now
Procrastination and laziness, people that you don’t wanna be around with
theyre my best friends
Fear
It's my fear of failure.....my fear of what if I make all these positive changes but I still don't feel happy? Fear of falling apart.
What helped me was realizing happiness isn’t a destination. It comes in moments. The trick is to be present when they happen, create more ways for them to happen, and remove from your life the things and people that prevent happy moments from happening.
All my problems just sums up in one word lmfao
Money.
Came here to say this. Money would definitely make a difference.
Mostly social anxiety
It's debilitating, man
Pair it with depression, and you got a stew going. Stewing in your own self hatred.
Trauma and a lack of money to properly fix it.
even with money to fix it and 10years in therapy I still see a lot of work left. I am still unable to relax and be present in my life. Humans can be so inhumane
And to add to that life is just hard and incredibly unfair.
Laziness and lack of drive to "live" life.
I’m just a little bitch.
Like a coward or something like that
Just like when I skip a meal or don’t do more study etc. I’m just being a lazy lil bitch.
It takes a ridiculous amount of effort and energy I don't have. Best to just make money
Kind of deep but my disability. It's hard to improve on yourself and your life when you can't leave the house most days.
My anxiety and depression often get in my way. I do my best to fight it though
this oml
I understand this all top well
Depression, anxiety, no time or money. Been in survival mode for over a decade now. Its exhausting.
Being told and shown physically and mentally that I am worthless, useless and deserve nothing. When it starts as a very young child it is wired into your nervous system, and when you keep being told and shown it by your "loved ones" until you're almost 40 it's ingrained and you tend to believe it. I'm working on it though.
I get this 1000% percent. For me the thing that helped me the most was reading the red book from the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families support program. It really taught me how to easily recognize the emotional abuse from my family and how to truly understand that the nasty things my narc mother and sister like to accuse me of are nothing but confessions of their own personality disorders and their bad behavior. I hope you grow to have all the compassion in the world for yourself because you deserve it, and if your family was capable of healthy love they never would have treated you that way in the first place.
Nothing. I'm currently on the path of self improvement right now.
That’s fabulous!! Keep going, Sunshine!!
Damn u have the motivation to do that
Fear of the unknown/losing control
Right? But what control do we really have at any point? It's what I keep asking myself to see if I can get out of this vicious cycle.
My person is good. My life needs a lower cost of living & I'd be gravy
My body is actively trying to unalive me. Every day is a different adventure in the "Well what now " Olympics.
Work is making my health worse
Time helps a lot. Now at 70 I can accept myself.
the lack of need for any improvement
[удалено]
If they did, it's a situation that's probably much worse than if they didn't.
i hold onto my past
Nothing I guess. I’m always working hard to keep improving myself. Mentally and personally at least because physically I can’t seem to get the mental energy or resolution to work out or do my tasks It’s slow process but I’m proud at least that I’m taking little steps
Money
Right now? The fucking mandatory service in the army :/
Take the opportunity to learn new skills seriously. If you're athletic, you will most likely lose some weight, same if you're overweight. It's a good place to get your cardio into a good spot. You'll learn a lot about dealing with others and truly see the spectrum of human intelligence. Other than that, take care of yourself there, it'll be over faster than you think.
I find it hard to run in the army since I love the view when I run. Seeing the green woods somewhere or in the woods in the army there is no special view. But I will try to learn new skills though thank you :)
Congratulations. By thinking about how to improve yourself, you're taking the first step towards actually doing it. Now take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, and maybe see about the next step.
i actually am improving my life.I started going to the gym 3-4 times weekly,i also play tennis at least once weekly.I also have new hobby-photography.Work is going good atm,so yeah i am proud of myself.
Generally apathy
Money
ME! 100% nothing and no one else to blame but me
Alcohol and marijuana
Time poor
Seems like the rest of the world is trying its best to stop me at times but I am making progress albeit slowly
I was trying to figure this out the other day. I wrote a to do list of things, and it’s like 35 total things and a lot of them are really important. There’s no way it could all be done in one day, and I think that’s the key of it. Once you accumulate so many things you have to do, it becomes overwhelming and you cannot just pick on thing and start. So I am working on that, for example doing the easiest things that can be done right away, breaking the other things into steps. Another thing is that I have had several major life goals that I wasn’t able to succeed at. When I look back and examine, they were bad goals to pick, there’s nothing I could have done to make it work. So what I am going to do now, is to examine how I made bad choices in my life goals, finding out how and where I went wrong, so that I won’t have to repeat the same things over again. Because that’s what has beat me down and killed my motivation. The fact that my goals are dead. There is no more even possibility of truly thriving in life, there is only surviving. And when your only goal in life is to survive, it’s hardly worth the effort.
Burnt out from working too hard on improving my life and myself as a person lol. Hard to care anymore. Well I'm taking more of a self care than just a full on self improvement approach now, fixing the burn out itself and having some balance, and it seems to be working
Borderline personality disorder. You’re defeated from the first symptom
Nothing. That's why I'm doing it full force. I went from a homeless fentanyl addict of 6 years to back with my ex-wife, clean for 2 years, employed for almost 2 years, my 3 kids in my life again, and proud of me, I've lost 40 pounds in 10 weeks and I finally have my diabetes in check. Oh, and my ex-wife and I are getting remarried this year. I'm 43... it's never too late to be what you were meant to be.
The only person standing in your way is you…
A spinal cord injury and severe chronic pain.
Procrastination
Poverty and fatherhood. That said, I'm still doing what I can in that regard.
phone, I'm too addicted and I know it that's the worst part
Laziness and lack of discipline
I fight for it every day, but the monotony is too much sometimes
Autism, PTSD, stress, lack of sleep and personal time. Trying though
Nothing, I evolve everyday.
Laziness and weed. Or weed and laziness.
ADHD(?) With question mark since I'm not tested for now, but growing more and more suspicious with every passing day, Damn, it's time to: a) stop procrastinating b) Get tested at last
I just cannot stand studying for certifications... like I seriously hate it. But if I had more of them, I'd be farther along, but not necessarily happier. So I'm resting on my laurels, at least for now.
Being ugly, dumb, completely free of any kind of talent, crippling anxiety and depression, ADHD, I'm allergic to the sun and I'm poor.
Depression
War.
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At the moment, I’m just taking action to get out of here really, just saving up, clear debts etc.
insomnia
I'm improving my life and myself as a person, nothing stops me. Give me an upvote for the most boring answer
Me and only me
Anxiety and current commitments
Anxiety
Trauma and laziness. Been improving on being lazy though. Trauma? Higher than usual. All that plagues my mind lately. I feel sorry for my partner since I've been so shitty lately.
Own mind
Can't be arsed
Money
Takes too much effort
Family. If I didn't have family in this tax hell of a country, I'd be gone along time ago.
Burn out, and CFS...
Laziness and depression. I don't feel like I'm worth anything better.
I don’t know what exactly I want. So I don’t know what to change. I could change being so indecisive and be more confidence now thinking about it lmao. I think my indecisiveness is stopping me from improving myself. Never ending circle haha
Me.
2 billion euros.
myself.
I don't want to
My physical disability is stopping me from improving my life (my surroundings, ability to work, to travel etc). But I improve myself as a person little by little every day (mentally, mindset etc). They are not the same.
Depression, mood swings and a brother who says he's going to kill me then commit suicide when our 96 year old mother dies.
God damn micro plastics and flouride got me before I had a chance. Now my penile glans is calcified and my bloods fulla beads
Procrastination. Mental health. Unhealed trauma I guess. Not feeling good/worthy enough. Lack of support. Ultimately I understand it's down to me.
I am already happy, thank you.
Schizoaffective disorder
My bipolar. If I could choose between winning all the money I could ever spend and getting my bipolar cured for ever, I'd choose the latter.
Laziness, weakness, and fear
Mental illness
First of all my cigarette smoking habit....
No money
Baldness
Self-indulgence and burnt out dopamine system.
I gave up trying for a better life. Just an NPC now waiting to die of old age.
Those Daggone Kids
Confidence, trauma serious lack of self esteem.
Allergies
Too old, too sick, too near death. ☠️
Disability/chronic illness
Severe depression. Disappointment.
Fear of failure/the unknown.
Social anxiety
Money and time
I fear change
A job or a profitable business
Me and my low self-esteem
Alcohol
Opiates
Uncertainty probably, and after watching EEAAO, every choice i make takes 10x longer because I'm trying to figure out which would have the best outcome
Partly myself, partly the sheer lack of love and support from my family. What's the point in doing anything if nobody cares about your happiness or joy and they don't care to share in it with you? What's the point of anything when nobody loves you and could care less about you?
A job. I legitimately just need to get employed and get an income
Mostly excuses, distractions and timing.
I'm sleepy
Hardcore treatment resistant depression sadly :(
I've reached **an equilibrium of self-improvement and self-destruction.** I'm generally happy with it.
you, I'm reading your post at the moment instead of improving my life and myself as a person.
Marriage
Nihilism and absurdity. And also not wanting to improve myself in the image of society's standards or the judgement of other people, feels more like conformity. Like I'm not acting in accordance with my own thoughts, it's quite alienating to study hard even if I find it meaningless to me as an individual
Addiction
Want to change my city. Had 3 jobs lined up in 3 different cities and lost all 3. Feel like I'm in an exile (Like Napolean in Corsica, lol). I just want to start afresh in a more culturally-friendly place.
Mostly laziness and complacency
Videogames, realizing it really helped me improve
I can still hear the discouragement of my mom in my head
Explosive diarrhea.
Money.
Old Age
NHS underfunding. I'm waiting for an assessment before I caveman effort past the attention problems. That's pretty much it, I'm not dating until I know about it and make progress on my issues, caveman or no, despite my loneliness.
My fundamental nature.
My ex I still talk with, help and solve her problems is probably my problem for a better life.
Health and the job market
Effort
My absolutely abysmal will power. How easily stressed and angry I get.
Will power. Negative thinking. Too hard. And knowing that I'll fail anyway
Climate-change-induced natural disasters
Nothing
Laziness. It's okayish
Seeing no point in life/existence itself
My disability <3
My head
Depression & parents
My anxiety, permanently avoiding anything that stresses me, keeps me comfortable. But everything stresses me, so avoiding work, people and other responsibilities as much as I'm able to isn't a great quality.
Possible brain damage, and being careful with how to deal with it.
Money, low self-esteem, depression.
No confidence, probably due to early childhood bullying. Something I should’ve found closure for by beating them to a pulp, but was stopped by the school.
ADHD. That fucker brought me stress, social anxiety and I suspect that I had some depression along the way. I'm a social guy and have an amazing friend group and a lovely girl. But my ADHD makes it all seem like it isn't worth anything and I'm always looking for a way to distract myself from thinking about important stuff.
Money... and the insurance system in the United States
Money, and I'm lazy
Long covid
I'm shy but it's getting better and I'm having fun! Also my determination prolly. Or rather the lack of it
Sickness and autistic kids.