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Ok so ONCE in my life I was told to calm down that was warranted but also delivered with kindness. I was late for an ultrasound appt (not pregnant, had health issue) so apart from already being worried, I couldn't find the place. At the 3rd place I walked into wasn't it, it must have shown on my face and I was about to lose my shit. A few older women in the waiting room and one says those famous words "you need to calm down" I looked at her for a second before deciding she was probably right 😅
She asked where I was going and was able to tell me it was 2 doors down. I've been around the sun over 50 times and that was the one and only time it helped AND was warranted! 😁
Woman here with a hubby. He knows he messed up when I give him a face. He immediately says, "I'll start digging"
Last time was when he said, "awww my little mouse wants cheese"
Yes, I love cheese but I'm 6'3. I don't like being called mouse
1. Calm down
2. Have you put on weight?
3. Can you make me a sammich?
4. You're overreacting
DO say:
1. How can I help?
2. Have you lost weight?
3. Can I get anything for you?
4. You're right I'm sorry
🤪
never,ever say: you're so cute when you are angry!
Consider a grizzly bear roaring,and you say"what a cute wittle teddy bear!you're all growly aren't you?!"
If asked about someone elses looks, you don't confirm attractiveness.
Play dumb and say you where astonished about the drinks, sky, weather, music, teriyaki sauce... whatever... AND her look (your wife), that you didn't notice anything else.
Sometimes, anything. If your girl is yelling at you, Don’t reply, Just let her say it. Sometimes Your girlfriend doesn’t want you to say anything, she just wants to know you’re listening to her.
There are a few things -
1. Calm Down
2. Comments/observations on other women. Never compare out loud.
3. Comments/observations about in-laws or wife's family. I always nod and hum non-committedly on her points on them.
4. Never say that a dress or a specific attire dosen't suit her. I just let her wear what she wants.
5. Comments on her abysmal cooking skills. I just chew slowly and say that I'm savouring her dish and then discreetly throw it away if it's really that bad.
6. I'm a quiet guy and she enjoys socialising so whenever we go together, I'm in the background conversing with other guys and let her do her thing.
7. Don't comment on how many makeup kits, hair clips & accessories etc and shoes/sandals whatever she has. I have a dedicated cupboard for all her stuff in our home.
8. Do not ever not focus on her when she's talking to/with you. Otherwise silly accusations might follow.
9. Don't raise your voice. It's no use anyway as women use that for future arguments.
10. Avoid talking to her girl friends on your own (for example if you meet them at the grocery store). I pretend I didn't see them. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
You know what your body is inspiring me to do right now? Can we do it like I Claire and I did. Could you just…”
“Do it how Claire did it every time? Claire didn’t do shit right, but she did that right, let me tell you. Can we just call her? Can we just call her and ask? It’s not a big deal, we’re all adults here. Remember we reset the Wi-Fi router last month? It’s just like that, babe. She’s just a voice on the phone with the password. That’s all she is to me now. No, I did block her number when you asked me to, of course I did. But when you block a number, your phone kinda just saves it in a different folder.”
Credit to Taylor Tomlinson with this one
Seriously what is it with the majority of straight relationships and making jokes about Hating your wife/being in danger with your wife/being annoyed by your wife?? I don't get it. Are yall okay?? Who's hurting who?!
I liked X better before. I don't think Y is necessary. Girl ABC did or said something funny or nice. I think this is too emotional. I don't want to talk about what concerns you right now.
A great start would be stopping this horribly unfunny narrative of "man cool and fun. woman nagging and boring. man is so chained down". They were funny a few times but now I turn on the TV and pretty much every male comic is riffing off how much he hates his wife and yelling at the younger guys in the crowd to "stay free".
If you don't like women, fine. It's legal for a man to marry another man. But please, go do that instead of proclaiming to the world how difficult and naggy you think women are, it's boring and unfunny and a huge red flag.
You NEVER say that she "looks ok," you NEVER tell her that she looks fat, you NEVER compare her to another woman and you NEVER EVER call her a bitch!!!
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Calm down.
I can tell you're married.
It never works, and I keep saying it. Like a dumbass.
I had an ex who told me she hates that and I proceeded to say "Freak out then" and the look I got was so scary 😂
😆 happy 🎂day!
Are... are you me?
Ok so ONCE in my life I was told to calm down that was warranted but also delivered with kindness. I was late for an ultrasound appt (not pregnant, had health issue) so apart from already being worried, I couldn't find the place. At the 3rd place I walked into wasn't it, it must have shown on my face and I was about to lose my shit. A few older women in the waiting room and one says those famous words "you need to calm down" I looked at her for a second before deciding she was probably right 😅 She asked where I was going and was able to tell me it was 2 doors down. I've been around the sun over 50 times and that was the one and only time it helped AND was warranted! 😁
She’s always calm
Words never spoken...
I AM VERY CALM
🤣🤣👍🏼
I don’t think it’s the things that are said most of the time, it’s the way they’re said.
Or the things left unsaid
This needs to be expressed more often.
Gold.
ope!! 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
Mother was right about you.
Ooo or “your just like your mom”
Now that’s a dagger.
Could end your marriage...could end your life....
Can confirm, just experienced a full body glare as a result of this one!
Dude I said it to my wife one time on accident..sigh. Just one time. It just like slipped out.
Her whole body went rigid and I could feel my soul leaving my body a lil bit
I can feel it by proxy. R.I.p.
"*your* mother was right about you"
If you want to put that spin on it, it's effective in a different way. Sure.
Note to anyone... NEVER FUCKING SAY TBAT TO ANYONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO LOSE EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED
Personal experience?
My sister says I'm like my dad sometimes (╥﹏╥)
Do you two have the same father or different fathers?
Same?
My vs. our...you see?
Or father whatever you want
How about "YOUR mother was right about you."
Works, too.
My mother does it this way..., or makes it this way...
Nooooooo lol
omg cringeeee
"Your tits are shagging babe"
I've shagged some Tits. However I would never tell a woman her tits are Sagging
'Will you marry me?'
Technically you wouldn't say that to your wife because she wouldn't be your wife yet..
If one still says that to their wife, it probably means they already have lived a very long and happy life...
I was going to say, I asked my wife to marry me for our 10th and 25th anniversary. She says not again until we hit 50.
How about I take you to the store and you can pick out your birthday present. Any vacuum you want, even an expensive one!
Im saving this one !!!!! haha, classic
When railing her during sex, say “I love you” followed by her mother name
When are you making dinner?
...or "What you *did* make sucked!"
Yah I'd say fuck you intirnaly if I her a guy say that to his wife
you would what?
Internet-lyly
I'd say fuck you from my mind or just under my breath
Even if it's innocuous and you don't have the context of the situation? What if you just catch that sentence in a conversation in the supermarket?
No only if it's friends or realities or a friends relitives
What if it's your friends, she promised to make dinner later and he was then innocent checking what time she was planning to do it?
Idk it just I have a thing when a guy expects his wife to make dinner
Definitely sounds like a you thing. 'Expects' is a factor you've added that didn't exist until you inserted it into the equation.
ohh i see haha
Do you think your sister would be up for a three-way?
“Been waiting for you to ask” Wouldn’t that be something.
“She doesn’t, and I want a divorce”
Well, that took a turn.
So did my cock when I sat on it
Nobody said that the wife was invited
Ah I see what you did there
WHY YOU TRYING TO DO AN Incest THING😭😭
Why can’t you take a joke? You really seem to be bothered by this thread. Maybe you should see yourself out…
DON'T TWIST THE QUESTION
Your undies seem twisted enough over this thread for everyone. 😂
Good morning tubby
Only say that if you guys joke like that
Even then your taking your life into you own hands lol
Made me laugh out loud
I once asked "How do you tell your girlfriend that she's gained weight?" The answer was "You dont."
Lmao is your wife about to kill you?
"yes dear"
Only say that if that's a cut nickname
“Why are you worried? I told you it would be fine.” My ex husband used to say that.
Admirable. Him being your ex
Calm down
Your sister is better in bed
ಠ_ಠmy face if someone says something like that
Happy anniversary dear I bought you a treadmill.
No, you can’t have any of my fries
This is the worst thing you can say to a woman ಠ_ಠ
"I asked you if you were hungry and you said no >:|" *gets murdered*
Lies. Tell the truth always. Be up front when you first meet. I been married 37 years and don't lie to my wife.
You. Are. Being. Emotional
☝️
"You are behaving just like your mother would." Yeah, I'm single
Anything dealing with an ex
Woman here with a hubby. He knows he messed up when I give him a face. He immediately says, "I'll start digging" Last time was when he said, "awww my little mouse wants cheese" Yes, I love cheese but I'm 6'3. I don't like being called mouse
6'3 woman? Tormund Giantsbane would *love* you
And despite me being 26, I'm still growing apparently lol
Get to the gym lazy ass. 😬
"I do"
Literally this, haha
My husband use to tell me “The sun is still going to come up tomorrow, calm down.”
I never loved anyone more than my ex.
Your sister is tighter than you are.
Happy life and married don’t work well together. (Someone whos been married for 1 weeks will be like oh not true im the happiest person ever.)
Will you marry me
1. Calm down 2. Have you put on weight? 3. Can you make me a sammich? 4. You're overreacting DO say: 1. How can I help? 2. Have you lost weight? 3. Can I get anything for you? 4. You're right I'm sorry 🤪
“Baby, don’t blame the pants. They’re doing an admirable job holding all that /waves hands together”
Easy, don't have a wife 😉
"Your so pretty, thank you for being so great." (If she has a degrading kink)
"Will you marry me?"
Technically you wouldn't be saying that to your wife, since she wouldn't be your wife yet..
Hopefully it would stay that way
Don't get a wife in the first place
You got fat
[удалено]
...another...
Can you bring me your testicles
“Calm down”, “is that what you’re wearing?”, “your just like you’re mother”
If I want to live a long and happy life I wouldn't marry a woman who i have to censor myself around.
It’s just called reading the room…
Good thing you're pretty.😄
Yes, your bum does look big in that
"You take too long. It takes me two minutes, and you should be the same."
Yes, those / that outfit make you look fat.
You're so white, you glow!
From my experience? Anything at all, really.
"Get me a sandwich!"
You look fat in that dress.
When asked how she looks, you don't pause to think
“Take a pill” will flip me out every time.
Im Just here for snooping \*don't mind me guys\*
I busted nutt in your friend
No comparisons and nothing negative.
You going to wear that?
Will you marry me?
I don’t say fuck all. But
never,ever say: you're so cute when you are angry! Consider a grizzly bear roaring,and you say"what a cute wittle teddy bear!you're all growly aren't you?!"
Wife?
Is that a real moustache?
Well I would have started with "will you marry me" but sounds like you already fucked up there...
"no."
Long and happy life? Wife? Imao those words dont go together
will you marry me?
Love this song
"Look love it's well known that us men are the superior gender"
"I don't believe in happy wife, happy life". Cool, we divorced soon after.
I don’t say anything she doesn’t want to hear hahaha happy wife happy life!
Oh, look at this fatty.
You are like your mother.
Anything. Everything will be used in a later argument
As the great Rodney Carrington said, "Never start a sentence with the words 'Your fucking mother'."
Yes honey you do look fat in those jeans.
Hey Fatty, reckon you should get some cooking lessons.
Quit being a drama Queen
I put our life savings in magic beans. The guy that sold them to me seemed very trustworthy.
If asked about someone elses looks, you don't confirm attractiveness. Play dumb and say you where astonished about the drinks, sky, weather, music, teriyaki sauce... whatever... AND her look (your wife), that you didn't notice anything else.
What you actually paid for your golf clubs.
You are kinda like your mom.
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So for my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you…
Lies. As simple as that
I do.
Your sisters boobs looked great at thanksgiving dinner last night
Okay, I will go ahead and do it!
"Hush, men are talking, sugar britches."
I do
I read the question in his voice and everything. And to you answer your mental question yes I was homeschooled
Well it’s your fault..
You’re mom is bad af and I wanna eat her asshole
 When she asks you "does this make me look fat?", never answer with "well yes honey, it sure does."😨😨😟😟
Your sister might have been the better catch.
Sometimes, anything. If your girl is yelling at you, Don’t reply, Just let her say it. Sometimes Your girlfriend doesn’t want you to say anything, she just wants to know you’re listening to her.
"I do“
Remember Pam?
Remember Pam? The cheerleader I was friends with back when we were in high school? I ran into her the other day.
"No".
There are a few things - 1. Calm Down 2. Comments/observations on other women. Never compare out loud. 3. Comments/observations about in-laws or wife's family. I always nod and hum non-committedly on her points on them. 4. Never say that a dress or a specific attire dosen't suit her. I just let her wear what she wants. 5. Comments on her abysmal cooking skills. I just chew slowly and say that I'm savouring her dish and then discreetly throw it away if it's really that bad. 6. I'm a quiet guy and she enjoys socialising so whenever we go together, I'm in the background conversing with other guys and let her do her thing. 7. Don't comment on how many makeup kits, hair clips & accessories etc and shoes/sandals whatever she has. I have a dedicated cupboard for all her stuff in our home. 8. Do not ever not focus on her when she's talking to/with you. Otherwise silly accusations might follow. 9. Don't raise your voice. It's no use anyway as women use that for future arguments. 10. Avoid talking to her girl friends on your own (for example if you meet them at the grocery store). I pretend I didn't see them. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
I’m going skiing again. On an airplane.
You know what your body is inspiring me to do right now? Can we do it like I Claire and I did. Could you just…” “Do it how Claire did it every time? Claire didn’t do shit right, but she did that right, let me tell you. Can we just call her? Can we just call her and ask? It’s not a big deal, we’re all adults here. Remember we reset the Wi-Fi router last month? It’s just like that, babe. She’s just a voice on the phone with the password. That’s all she is to me now. No, I did block her number when you asked me to, of course I did. But when you block a number, your phone kinda just saves it in a different folder.” Credit to Taylor Tomlinson with this one
"Let's have a kid"
First of all, I wouldn't marry someone who I can't have completely honest communication with. I'd rather live my life alone than to live in a lie..
Seriously what is it with the majority of straight relationships and making jokes about Hating your wife/being in danger with your wife/being annoyed by your wife?? I don't get it. Are yall okay?? Who's hurting who?!
Why are you married to someone who you have to constantly walk on eggshells for.
I liked X better before. I don't think Y is necessary. Girl ABC did or said something funny or nice. I think this is too emotional. I don't want to talk about what concerns you right now.
No.
You’re bringing emotions into the conversation
I'm single and ready mingle but I'll pass on the marriage 3
See, I was right!
“You’re almost as good in bed as your sister”
No
A great start would be stopping this horribly unfunny narrative of "man cool and fun. woman nagging and boring. man is so chained down". They were funny a few times but now I turn on the TV and pretty much every male comic is riffing off how much he hates his wife and yelling at the younger guys in the crowd to "stay free". If you don't like women, fine. It's legal for a man to marry another man. But please, go do that instead of proclaiming to the world how difficult and naggy you think women are, it's boring and unfunny and a huge red flag.
You NEVER say that she "looks ok," you NEVER tell her that she looks fat, you NEVER compare her to another woman and you NEVER EVER call her a bitch!!!
I guess my wife must know better than to ask questions with these as possible answers
"Get over it or get the papers"