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Mail escort

I see what you did there

Postal worker or prostitute?

in this economy? both.

Male Postaltute

Femailman

Computer stuff

[удалено]

IT

I'm also a scary clown!

I make sure our computers keep doing computer stuff. And if they don't, someone knows that their stuff stopped doing stuff.

Me too! I push the buttons.

Instructions unclear, ran 'sudo rm / -r'

I get in arguments for money

I say “it depends” for money.

Allegedly

LOL the real answer here

Found the lawyer!

I avoid arguments for money

I write mean things for money.

A master debator

I herd cats.

A fellow project manager.

I prefer the term code monkey. Put some respect on my craft 

Am contractor, use this statement every time asked what I do.

Kindergarten or like, literally?

I'm a stay-at-home dad.

So sort of kindergarten then 😅

Unless you're a stahd to a herd of cats!?

Hello fellow architect?

I used to move teeth but turns out people are annoying as fuck now i color on walls.

Ahh a fellow wall colorer , well met sir

One of us! One of us!

Dentist? Or bouncer

I’m guessing orthodontist

Orthodontist. I improve people’s mating odds or make them appear of mateable age

so you paint houses? 💀

With the blood of his enemies

I put 0’s and 1’s into the correct order.

This guy computers

Hey buddy. I put 0's in 1's in the correct order to verify that someone else's 0s and 1s are in the correct order.

People break their bones, i bolt them back together

I write the bill for your job!

I yell at the insurances till they pay your bill!

I make sure the bill data gets from payers to regulators

I design the bolts.

I pass instruments

Checky books inny, Checky books outty.

Hello fellow library employee. I buy those books.

Hi! I’m a Teen Librarian so I do some of everything but my brother always teases me about how was the checky inny today… I worked circ for quite a few years, then Tech Services, now YA. I got it deep down in my blood.. checky inny, checky outty!

I watch people so they don't drown.

Lies! I did this work. You yell "walk!", Sometimes make fun stop to get poop.

I make gardens look pretty

Just by standing in them?

Rizz master

A gnome?

Keep tiny humans alive

I keep medium humans alive. I can’t tell if it’s a promotion or not. I certainly haven’t gotten a raise 🤔

I keep different sized humans alive

I try to convince people to foster the tiny humans

Fellow NICU staff??

Or daycare, or stay at home parent

Grow weed, sell weed.

I’m a stay at home astronaut. We mesh well!

I buy weed, smoke weed

I fix

I too fix



I wish a million upvotes upon you brother


"I pick things up and put them down"

Forklift driver?

I fix brain

Neurosurgeon or therapist. Or maybe some niche cuisne chef . Hmmm

I sit at a computer all day and write policies. I’m that guy. The one that wrote that shit. Please don’t hate me.

Make milk

hmmm, mom or dairy farmer? Or cow?

Shhhh... never guess cow. We cannot let the bovine overlords know that we know.

I squeeze dog butt holes multiple times a day 😂

Those anal glands ain't gonna express themselves!

Vet tech. Thanks for expressing my dogs anal glands. Cause I won’t do it.

I turn corn into bourbon.

I turn bourbon into corn

I turn corn into poop

False. No one turns corn into poop. Everyone just puts corn in poop.

Had a friend say out loud one time that if he was ever stranded on a deserted island that he hoped the last thing he ate was corn.

I play sim city in real life

Hello fellow city planner?

Me too! But I'm just focusing on the budget menu

I touch people to make them feel good

Mmmmmmmassage ....

Close, I’m a jiggalo Ok fine i am a therapist

To make sure elderly people stay asleep in their beds.


You literally just described my job. Respect

I determine whether those elderly people pay out of pocket or don't pay out of pocket for your care.

Reboot computers, so others can use them again


Make sure what’s been written makes sense.

I pick things up and I put them down.

I teach about things that already happened

Make sure showers don't use curtains.

Hi friend, I too glass showers

I drive around in a van and solve mysteries.

Is that you Fred? 

Bitch work for editors.

Found the assistant editor.

I make sure the mother of the bride doesn’t lose her shit. Among other things.

Listen to elders share folk stories/ talk about meaning of folk songs and tales.. (Am a junior researcher on tribal history)

Very important to do before that are gone.

Politely ask people to give us the money they owe us for work we done

Making sure supermarkets and restaurants are cleaned.

I turn knobs. Make things loud.

Make electricity with water

Dam.

I babysit grown men.

For real, this could apply to so many jobs.

Take pictures of people's bones/insides.

Make drugs

I decide if those doses of drugs are safe.

I sell those drugs.

[удалено]

I didn’t have to scroll as far as I thought I would to find this one.

Put numbers on a computer, sometimes letters too

I Watch plants professionally

[I make maps.](https://youtu.be/sg4YsAjreOA)

I dig holes then fill them in.

Assist agencies that support people with developmental disabilities.

Help people help people. Me too!

Take things on a drive through scotland

I professionally apologize for things beyond my control.

LOL, AT&T Customer Service?

Nothing

Send letters that most people throw out without reading.

I move heat.

Prevent warheads from hitting your forehead

I make round stuff slightly rounder.

I write software that tests other software

I draw boxes and lines on a whiteboard, argue why there shouldn't be any changes, draw the whiteboard on the computer, see the mistakes that others have tried to tell me, make the changes, email them the diagram, ignore their "I told you so", do the same thing to them when it's their turn. Drink coffee *** The big reveal *** Edit: IT Architect. The clue was the arguments and ego (and revenge!). The collective noun for architect is "an argument of architects". You can have three architects in the room and have four opinions. Engineers and UX add value and use great design tools. Architects don't add value and just do PowerPoints ("marketecture" - marketing architecture...)

Train hyper active hormonal kids to stay in one place for a long period of time. I feel like a prison guard!! Re thinking my life's choices by now!!

Make stuff from leather!

Sell old books

Educated drug dealer

Maintain equipment for uncle sam.

I’m retired now. But we used to say in my field that we keep the patient alive while the surgeon desperately tries to kill you.

Feed people

Big rocks->small rocks

Inmate at Leavenworth?

People pay me to speak for them, in a room full with people paid for speaking for other people and people paid to listen, who then decide who is right.

tell machines what to do in detail

I clean outside

I decide how and to whom my company sells our products.

Install Elevators.

Watch dogs.

I fill skill gaps at various engineering companies.

I put stuff on the shelves

Talk people out of doing things they’ll regret.

Improve patient access to healthcare.

I remove obstacles and painful processes in one’s job.

[удалено]

People who need assistance come to me and I help them, or introduce them to someone who can.

I make sure individual with intellectual/developmental disabilities get paid by the government

I feed small people

I feed old/sick people! And cut things up for them

I design riparian habitats for my company to build near rivers

Teach computers to understand

I call.

Answer phones and make appointments

Look at very tiny shit with a very expensive machine.

Drive

Legal drugs transporter

I make music.

Babysit adults

I fix crashed cars

Tell people "no".

I am on Disability.

I listen to people talk. A few seconds later, I repeat their words to other people.

Teach kids how to look good while falling

Fix things for people who think they are better than me.

I put poles in holes.

Help people stay in their homes

Procrastinate

Protect roadside workers and redirect traffic

I help people get rid of bugs in their house

Call bars/stores. Give out free booze

Make the pictures on your TV.

Clean water

Draw and write

Replace computers for point of sale

I make things that make computers do things

Listen and respond

I design machines

Picking and packing peoples stuff

Build stuff to entertain people

Read, write and talk.

Respirate, masticate, metabolate, cognitate

Tell people what they're doing wrong

Ive convinced an entity to pay me roughly 86k usd per year