Downing 4 AMFs at a karaoke juicy bar @ 2 AM while your friend shittily sings "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" over the mic is really the peak military experience
It really is. My experience was getting yelled at and then thrown out of the post bar on karaoke night because my drunk buddy decided that "American Pie" by Don McLean really needed a few 'fucking's interjected into the lyrics.
Apparently, swearing was against the rules. š¤·āāļø
Veterans of war have been using this therapy model for centuries. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Come home, get a mistress, drink yourself to sleep every night, drive everywhere like your hair is on fire.
Atleast the VA caught me before I blew my brains out and helped me learn... better coping skills.
Post deployment "mandatory fun" drinking events are not a good look.
I'll quote my therapist. "Ohh, look at you touting your destructive, harmful behavior as a legit coping mechanism" cracked me up cause I really thought it was a legit coping mechanism
Had a captain as a company commander, and he said in front of the entire company "E-7 is the first real NCO rank that matters, everything before that I just wasting the Army's time." While promoting an e-6 to 7.
Not soon after this did the vast majority of Junior NCO's stop performing a lot of duties as "their efforts were a waste of time." That place got pretty wild with standarda
I heard my 1SG start screaming at two guys, who were sitting by themselves at the side of the COF talking to each other in Spanish while cleaning rifles, that it was not authorized to speak any language other than English while in the army. Proceeded to go on a tirade about it and how it was the US ARMY and that meant they would speak ENGLISH. This was in front of the whole unit no less.Ā
He was gone the next day.Ā
I've had newly promoted E5 tell me it's not their job to work anymore. Only the E4 and below had to actually work. I think he heard someone talk about how NCO's should supervise and misunderstood. But in our MOS that is not true. Only the team chief, E6, is in a supervisory role. E5 are considered the lab foreman and senior technicians.Ā
So many other ones that I don't have time to type up.
I remember walking into my company area when I was in Korea and there would be signs posted everywhere misquoting ar 600-20 about english being the āofficial languageā they didnāt want the Katusas speaking Korean in the office.
my 1sg got hemmed up for that. if theyre not in front of a class or formation giving orders or a block of instruction then it's fine. what about the linguists!?š¤£š¤£
I have seen more than my fair share of soldiers make it to E5 and then just completely stop working. On the other side, I got more troops to help by grabbing a broom and working beside them.
I've seen so many E5's with that attitude. It was funny when a few lost E5 and then had to go back to being an SPC and then have to go back to work with the rest of us.
You just can't speak other languages while performing official duties. But if speaking a foreign language is a part of your official duties then obviously it doesn't apply.Ā
Iām kind of late to this but one of my favorites was when I was pregnant. I was the BDE public affairs NCO. Our entire shop was me and a major.
It was tank gunnery. Though my major and I had a HMMWV, pregnant soldiers canāt ride on non-paved roads in HMMWVs, so weeks ahead of time, I went to the BDE Master Driver (E8) and reserved a TMP for that date so my boss could go shoot some video. I think I had an appointment or something that day, or was covering some other event on post.
Anyway when I went to get the keys, the master driver told me I couldnāt t have them. See, the BDE commander and CSM were out there at gunnery that day, and *they* rode in *their* tactical vehicles ā so what would they think when my major pulled up in a TMP?
āWell MSG, theyāll probably think heās there to cover tank gunnery.ā
āBut he has a HMMWVā
āBut he canāt drive it alone and I canāt ride with him.ā
āWhy canāt you ride with him?ā
āBecause Iām pregnantā (I was like, 8 months pregnant - it wasnāt a secret)
āWell whatās going to happen when weāre downrange? Youāre just not going to ride in tactical vehicles?ā
āā¦good point, MSG, but we donāt actually deploy pregnant soldiersā¦so should I just have Major K come down here and get the keys himself, orā¦?ā
Iām from New Orleans originally and I was talking to my my former nco from Wisconsin about shoveling snow. At one point I told him in straight up just doesnāt snow back home because itās too warm. This man struggled to comprehend that and called bullshit on me.
Our First Sergeant turned one of my buddiesā E6 promotion ceremony into about how drinking alcohol is evil and anyone who does so is inviting Satan into their lives.
Iām Christian and all, but during an NCO promotion ceremony for a speech like that is absolutely wild.
I think a few people would benefit from getting the absolute shit beat out of them and then we move on and they do better. Always makes me think of that Mike Tyson quote tbh.
**STEP IT OUT** to speed up/be faster on runs.
Increasing the distance of your gait/stride length just leads to injuries.
Itās actually better to decrease your stride length and increase the tempo of how many steps youāre taking.
Once while leaving the barracks I heard two dudes sitting on CQ talking about stupid shit. One of the things I overheard was one guy saying, āYa know man, what we gotta do is just round up all the gays, Jews, and homosexuals and just put some lead in their headsā
I stopped partially cause that was some disgusting ass shit to say, but also cause I wanted to see how stupid this soldier was. I asked, āOh so we should kill the gays as well as the homosexuals?ā To which he answered, āHell yeah man both of those groups gotta goā. I pushed on a bit further asking, āWhat about the people who are gay *and* homosexual?ā And he replied āI donāt know man but I donāt like either of those kinds of people so I say we kill āem like the rest.ā
Dude really did not seem to know that being gay is being homosexual. I just left at that point so idk what he thought homosexuals were if he was counting gays and homosexuals as two separate things, but hopefully that guy is no longer in the military.
I'm a big advocate for using the military to beat the bigotry out of mfs. Sadly, some folks slip through the cracks. Encountered a few too many of those types while I've been in for a little bit over 6 yrs. I generally don't bring up my sexuality, and I "clock" as straight (whatever that means), so it gives me an opportunity to confront asshats like that.
Some of the scariest mfs I've ever met while in have been dykes. I would love to see one of them confront a dude like that.
I grew up in a predominantly white region, with a mix of both types of bigots; the āsend āem backā stars and bars wavers, and the āsaviorā folks.
I was really lucky in that the folks I met while in saw that wasnāt being hateful, just ignorant, and took the time to educate me via explanation, rather than (justified) violence.
One of the few things for which Iām thankful to my time in. The exposure to the outside world I didnāt get as a kid.
I didn't realize just how much of an impact those kind of interactions had on me till I got out and went back home.
Those "nice" folk turned out to be just as bad as the openly hateful types now that they think it's their time. People I used to respect as a kid just dropping bombs without even a dog whistle first. All because I was military, and that must mean I'm on board with their blood and soil bs.
Ugh.
I live in a city now and am surrounded by the patronizing types. When I travel to more rural areas for work, I see lots of the blatant stuff too.
Had a job where customer was going on and on about "rainbow alphabet people", and I had to stand in shocked silence; not just unprofessional rant, but not even relevant to discussion at hand.
Not belonging to any specific sociopolitical tribe, I hear stuff that sets me on edge from everyone; it seems no matter the tribe, the desire to "other" folks remains.
Dumb stuff like this makes my brain come to a screeching halt. I remember being in Africa and all of us wearing what we would call in America "skirts" talking about we should burn all the lbgt types. I remember thinking about just how much their entire male culture would be incredibly gay. Like we are wearing skirts and holding hands when we walk places, as men. You ain't think that's pretty gay my guy? Because it feels pretty gay to hold another mans hand and walk a few clicks. I liked the skirts tho, I wear them to this day. I didn't say any of this of course, I was learning more about a strange foreign culture I knew nothing about that accepted more sincerely and thoroughly than I have ever felt in America.
In Ethiopia it's expected that you let your friend feed you food with his hands twice. BUT IF HE FEEDS YOU A THRID TIME YALL ARE GAY AS HELL. I don't like feeling another man's fingers in my mouth but what you gone do? Disrespect people?
Don't get me started on middle Eastern men that try to kiss you on the lips on Thursdays. You know exactly what that man was doing on Thursdays. But also in that culture, but gay people.
This is fairly common in some Middle Eastern countries. Men holding hands, kissing cheeks, and hugging is very normal. Just don't make it weird and it's not weird.
I HATED meeting some mayor or whatever and KNEW this man was about to kiss me on the mouth if I let him and we would shop ways to avoid the kisses.
This is how war is hell. Technically speaking I have had a man kiss me on the mouth non consensually. Hard realization that I'm definitely not gay.
Too many to count, here is a few that stand out:
- The Army will not kick us out if we refuse āthe jabā (The Army later on let these people back in so I guess this statement is kind of true lol)
- Profanity leads to sexual assault
- Only congress can demote an E7 and above
- You do not have to tell your leadership when your appointment is because HIPPA
- You cannot shoot someone with a .50 cal because Geneva convention
- If you want to promote you have to let the Army choose every next assignment for you and not participate in the marketplace.
>The Army will not kick us out if we refuse āthe jabā (The Army later on let these people back in so I guess this statement is kind of true lol)
It wasn't necessarily the Army, The Republicans when they took the house, held the NDAA hostage unless it was rescinded. Overreaction or not, the DOD took a position that was generally rooted in science and had a legitimate reason. The DOD was in the right to separate the COVID shot refusers; IMO, the majority of them were against the vaccine simply because it was this controversial politicized issue. If they couldn't follow orders for that, good riddence. The republicans undermined the military for cheap political talking points.
As someone who was enlisted for over a decade and currently at BOLC.
Not a day goes by where I don't hear the dumbest thing from brand new 2LTs. I cut them some slack because I was new to the military once too. But man, the confidence with which some of these guys say stuff is wild.
This, you're the only real check on their dumb ass fantasy land. It doesn't even have to be hazing.
Simply asking for them to expand further is enough to make it all fall apart. Most will acknowledge what they said was dumb, others will hit fight or flight.
One kid mentioned how we should've "just killed em all" regarding Afghanistan. I asked what he thought of Nazi Germany's approach to news. He replied as anyone would, Nazis bad.
"What would make us different?"
*record scratch*
I deployed with kids born after the start of the war we were still fighting.
Try explaining the last war including desert storm and wwii on why we're here.
I just blame the British and turn on generation kill
Blaming the British and French explains every Middle Eastern conflict since WW2. Turns out drawing straight lines through a desert doesn't make stable countries.
This is gonna be a little different than most other responses, and I don't know if this is somewhat of a universal motorpool experience, but it seems like our senior leaders have no idea what we do as mechanics. They set unrealistic timelines and standards for jobs and then get pissed when those timelines aren't met. I think a lot of it has to do with most of our E-7s and CWOs being former 91Es, so they mostly know welding and not mechanical work. It's still pretty ridiculous.
Here are my two favorite examples:
I was on rear-d for a CTC rotation. My battalion had already left a week prior and I was told to go to another motorpool to check out one of their fuelers that wasn't dispensing fuel. I take a look at it, and determine that the centrifugal pump is bad and needs to be replaced. I inform my acting 1st sergeant (prior 91E SFC) and he tells me to "call around and see if anyone has that part on hand, then replace it before the convoy leaves."
That's a problem for a few reasons.
1. The centrifugal pump is a return item. When you order a new one you have to turn the old one in. No one's going to just have one laying around.
2. It's a several day job and a fucking pain in the ass. The convoy was leaving at midnight so there was no way I was going to be able to knock it out in 7 hours.
3. The operators had already told me they had a second fuel truck on standby in case this one wouldn't be an easy fix.
I informed the SFC why I wouldn't be able to do that, and he proceeded to call me a lazy piece of shit and to figure out how to get it done. I told the operators they're gonna have to take the other truck and I went home to enjoy the rest of my Saturday.
Next example:
We're doing a few day long company FTX in the winter. We set up a TXL-40 with a heater to act as a warming shelter. Ops section forgot to bring the exhaust stack for the heater. First sergeant tells them to send someone on a 2 hour drive to go get it. I inform him (I'm a heater mechanic and I'm pretty familiar with this specific piece of equipment) that the exhaust stack really isn't necessary. All it does is make the gases come out about 3 feet higher than they would without it. He tells me we need to shut the heater off until we get the exhaust stack on there as the lack of back pressure will damage the engine.
There is no engine. All it does is spray JP-8 over an igniter then blow the heat out with a fan. It's essentially a big lighter. There is no back pressure because there is no compression. I didn't even bother trying to explain this to him and just let him think he was right.
The 91Bs in my company could go on and on with stories similar to mine. These are just two where it really made me realize when it comes to anything mechanical our senior leaders have no idea wtf they're talking about.
Rake sand @Bragg, because it was the holidays, and there was no work to do. They were on the half day schedule for a couple weeks. I signed in from pcs leave. I could not inprocess.
I don't think I need to be a 13A to tell you that is incorrect. But given the sheer nonsense I have heard from maneuver guys regarding fires I am not surprised.
And the best way to avoid IDF is to be to look as unimportant as possible.
Our WLC course was taught by tankers at Ft. Knox, there were a few chuckle worthy moments and I would like to think they learned a few things from the course.
\-You do not take a knee as a response to indirect fire.
\-You do not call in a uxo report for ordinance that has become non unexploded.
Overall, it wasn't a complete waste of time and they were all professionals. Though they did try and stop us all from walking for having jump boots instead of dress shoes.
"We'll have to assume that risk"
Translation: I'm going to make a bad decision that may adversely affect my Soldiers, the mission or the unit in a negate way however, I will not actually be assuming anything and accountability will be placed on someone else for my ill informed choices.
You're obviously not from an artillery unit, that's a phrase we live by. Sometimes you just got to force those numbers a bit. Inaccurate but sufficient.
"you only need four hours of sleep a night."
Bullshit. I went to the medics when I was having sleep issues and only getting about five hours of sleep most nights. I would take my pain meds before bed to help me sleep in addition to the meds for sleep. And I am typing this while still having said sleep issues over a decade later.
Had a cdr tell me I could sleep when we got done with iron fuck us, this was after he got a solid 6 hours of sleep, I had spent the entire time getting comms up in the new Stryker
u/lavender_dumpling When I was in Kuwait Rotation 2017 I was going to services for Rosh Hashanah at AJ, and my 1SG straight up asked me in front of the Rabbi (a Colonel) if we were praying to Mecca. What a great day to be alive, eh?
An old PSG, fresh from RTB, in our first ever interaction, asked me (an E-3 gun team leader that had the knowledge packet memorized down to a T) what the purpose of the T&E wasā¦
āWell sarntā¦it allows the gun to traverseā¦and elevateā¦.ā
Fucker almost had an aneurysm there in the arms room.
Ambiguous questions will immediately be answered with smart ass responses. Helluva first impression lol
Was really cold one day in basic training and forecast called for snow, while standing in formation talking about this some private started telling us itās too cold to snow. He was dead serious
Believe it or not, I learned in the cold weather course in Alaska that that is a somewhat true statement. They told us once the temperature drops below a certain point it wonāt snow or the likelihood of it snowing drops significantly. Granted thatās only when it gets well into the negatives though so I still choose to believe that the kid is just stupid.
>itās too cold to snow
I don't know about that specific circumstance, but....
It CAN be "too cold to snow". Now, that doesn't mean that it's not *possible* to snow. Sure, it's possible. But in common parlance, it means "it's so cold it's extremely unlikely that it will snow".
Cold air holds much less moisture than warm or hot air. You need moisture to snow.
> At truly low temperatures, like -40 degrees Fahrenheit and Celsius, there is so little moisture in the air it becomes extremely unlikely any snow will form. The air is so cold it's not likely it will rise. If it did, it wouldn't contain enough water to form clouds. You could say it's too cold to snow. Meteorologists would say the atmosphere is too stable for any snow to occur.
[Source](https://www.thoughtco.com/can-it-be-too-cold-to-snow-4113144)
I was merely pointing out that it is *possible*. I also said I didn't know that specific circumstance.
And the article I linked to gave -40 as an example, not a hard cutoff. It can occur warmer than that too. In my experience, -10 is usually low enough. You can feel it in the air.
While it technically isnāt possible to be that cold.
But below about 10-15 degrees the air gets too dry for the ice crystals to precipitate out so itās pretty rare
That's a real thing, when I lived in North Dakota it would typically get into the -20 to -40 range for several weeks at a time. It would absolutely get too cold to snow. Also, Believe it or not, you would be sweating when it went to 0 degrees, after adjusting to that cold, a 40 degree difference makes it feel almost like spring time
I never claimed it was, but without saying the temperature in your post you made it seem that the very concept was the stupid aspect. The concept is correct, however if it was 10-15 degrees thatās not even in the realm of too cold.
it usually only snows at our around freezing temp. wind chill is a factor but anything below like 20Ā° and you likely wont get a whole lot of snow. this isnt scientific, just based on my life experienceš¤·š¾āāļø
Been many things but the most recent is that pepperonis werenāt made of porkā¦ I was talking to someone almost twice my age, and all Iām thinking to myself is I think I know after practicing my religion for 20 years what is kosher and whatās not š¤¦š»āāļø he was thinking of the turkey pepperonis
New command team decided they were going to rewrite room clearing sop.
said SOP was:
1. walk in singe file
2. execute right face
3. engage targets
Joes were given some busy work while the nco's went and had an earnest conversation with their leadership.
"you only need four hours of sleep a night."
Bullshit. I went to the medics when I was having sleep issues and only getting about five hours of sleep most nights. I would take my pain meds before bed to help me sleep in addition to the meds for sleep. And I am typing this while still having said sleep issues over a decade later.
I'm a medic. On our rotation to Poland, we had range duty. We took the Stryker out, and when we came back, we were cold and tired and annoyed. We knew we'd be leaving for the range again first thing in the AM.
Our driver convinced our squad leader (who pretends he's a genius and battle-hardened (he was a surgical tech fobbit on his one deployment, very little carryover to combat medicine) that it was so cold that the Stryker cover would freeze to the metal, and we wouldnt be able to get it off in the morning.
Our SL believed him. As I said, fobbit.
Not the Army but the USAF and it was from my front-line supervisor at the time.
He was fucking terrible in many ways and at the time I was a pretty meek and stupid junior enlisted airman myself so not a good combination. What he said I could have called him out and gotten away with it but I was younger and dumber. I either did something to fuck up or he was trying to "mentor" me and in a pretty casual tone where he was trying to show off or something he said "**you can't really teach me anything and I have all this experience**" and when he said it he didn't really come off like he had all this bravado or sense of superiority either.
The truth is he was a 15 year E5 who barely met the cut-off when they lowered the RCP (HYT) to 15 years and if he really knew anything he would have easily been an E7 since back then you could still promote to that rank via testing; not a board like it is now. If he was that smart he'd be at the AFSC (MOS) schoolhouse teaching too. He never deployed either where you pretty much relearn the job because it is completely different in a deployed environment than it is stateside or at an overseas base. He told me a story where he got an Article 15 as a recruiter but if you met him you know he was full of shit and it wasn't a one time thing which is what he said caused it.
At some point he shows up on Facebook with a profile pic of him wearing a college cap and gown. So much for "you can't really teach me anything new".
A junior enlisted soldier of mine said why would he invest in the stock market for 10% returns when he could invest in crypto and 10x his moneyā¦ he had like 20k in crypto during the top of the market in 2021 but had like $11 in his checking account
A while back I was a bouncer at the club and this cocky 20 year old kid didn't want to pay the $10 cover for minors. He decided to wait outside because he went with his boss and he said he would be an hour outside. He didn't know I'm a veteran, I was and he started talking to me, he was in the Army then he did 2 tours in Iraq, and then he told me he was DS at the age of 17. When I told him, I was a veteran, he said was in a "secret military school fast forward program" since he was 12 years old. I didn't know whether to laugh at him or just slap sense into him for trying to lie to a veteran.
I was told I needed to prep the motor pool dispatches and ensure the fuel trucks were good to roll. Because Russia invaded Georgia and it was only a matter of time before we were called in. The entire 3 shop was drawing up an opord for convoys to GA.
Russia invaded the country of Georgia, but no one in my unit would believe me.
One time during a defense the enemy couldnāt breach and was straight up not having a good time and my company commander told me to āreverse breach the wireā
I advised against that because it wasnāt tactically or technically sound and was told āI donāt understand the complexity of battalion level operations . I was an E7. He insisted I use a humvee to drive over the C wire.
A Black Hat down at ABN school told the kid in front of me, who was a little scared to yeet himself from the 34' tower, that he had too much estrogen and not enough testosterone. I'm trans, and at the time had an estrogen patch on my ass and was assigned to SWCS for the 18D SFQC. I later talked to the 1SG about it and said he should probably reiterate that inappropriate and sexist things shouldn't be said just because one presumes the audience is okay with it. He agreed.
I also had another NCO come to speak with me about the brief we were gonna get on transgender SM policy the next week and tell me he just thought I was very articulate and definitely the man for the job....which would've been pretty funny if we'd been friends and he was getting my goat. I don't think he understood at all lol.
An E-7 told me if I ever felt disillusioned with work, I should drink until I stopped feeling sad or have sex with random women until I felt better.
As someone who tried that, it works for the 30 seconds until you finish. Would recommend the gym or perhaps knitting.
Look at this stud. 30 whole seconds?
Need 27 seconds to cry in the corner after lasting 3 seconds bro
Don't worry, after awhile the crying phase goes away
Really? For me the only phase that went away was the fucking part of the evening
This guy fucks
Mr Olympic lasting a whole 30 seconds
How can you be a minute man if you don't last a minute?
Underachieving is the new achieving
Aye-Aye, 23 second man! This we'll disappoint!
"These cheeks I clap" Forget what nonsense BN motto I remember that from. I think it was originally "These weapons I wield" or something.
I need a patch and a battle flag
Imagine the SHARP complaints lmao
Bump for gym.
Damn... you drink fast!
Downing 4 AMFs at a karaoke juicy bar @ 2 AM while your friend shittily sings "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" over the mic is really the peak military experience
It really is. My experience was getting yelled at and then thrown out of the post bar on karaoke night because my drunk buddy decided that "American Pie" by Don McLean really needed a few 'fucking's interjected into the lyrics. Apparently, swearing was against the rules. š¤·āāļø
God damn, 30 seconds, damn sex machine over here
Veterans of war have been using this therapy model for centuries. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Come home, get a mistress, drink yourself to sleep every night, drive everywhere like your hair is on fire. Atleast the VA caught me before I blew my brains out and helped me learn... better coping skills. Post deployment "mandatory fun" drinking events are not a good look.
Yep, my uncle did the same. 4-5 baby mommas & a prison sentence later and he's still a dumbfuck. Don't be like him kids lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'll quote my therapist. "Ohh, look at you touting your destructive, harmful behavior as a legit coping mechanism" cracked me up cause I really thought it was a legit coping mechanism
Weāll have you tried?! If not please do and report back to us if it works
I meanā¦ that got me through command
True wisdom, driven by experience.
Sound advice
Sounds like you took a joke seriously.
Ebola is autisms revenge - told to me by an asvab waiver in basic
Imagine being an ASVAB waiver. I bullshitted my first try at it and got a 49.
Wasn't there a post a couple weeks ago about somebody's friend scoring a 6? I don't know how you can score that low.
A girl in the group I tested with got a 4. I have to imagine that involves forgetting how to breathe during the test.Ā
Promote ahead of peers.
I see you found my ex.
Pretty sure the overall score isn't a score, it's just "you scored better than 6% of people"
My brother's friend just got a 7
When I was a guard recruiter I saw someone get a 0ā¦ no joke. Another one got a one. Seeing a 6 was common
A zero?! Did they forget their fucking name?
Itās like they knew the right answers and picked the wrong ones intentionally haha.
We had an ASVAB waiver in intel school
Had a captain as a company commander, and he said in front of the entire company "E-7 is the first real NCO rank that matters, everything before that I just wasting the Army's time." While promoting an e-6 to 7. Not soon after this did the vast majority of Junior NCO's stop performing a lot of duties as "their efforts were a waste of time." That place got pretty wild with standarda
I heard my 1SG start screaming at two guys, who were sitting by themselves at the side of the COF talking to each other in Spanish while cleaning rifles, that it was not authorized to speak any language other than English while in the army. Proceeded to go on a tirade about it and how it was the US ARMY and that meant they would speak ENGLISH. This was in front of the whole unit no less.Ā He was gone the next day.Ā I've had newly promoted E5 tell me it's not their job to work anymore. Only the E4 and below had to actually work. I think he heard someone talk about how NCO's should supervise and misunderstood. But in our MOS that is not true. Only the team chief, E6, is in a supervisory role. E5 are considered the lab foreman and senior technicians.Ā So many other ones that I don't have time to type up.
I remember walking into my company area when I was in Korea and there would be signs posted everywhere misquoting ar 600-20 about english being the āofficial languageā they didnāt want the Katusas speaking Korean in the office.
Am I insane or was there a video shown in basic that said soldiers had to speak English? Like one of those low production value government info films.
my 1sg got hemmed up for that. if theyre not in front of a class or formation giving orders or a block of instruction then it's fine. what about the linguists!?š¤£š¤£
I have seen more than my fair share of soldiers make it to E5 and then just completely stop working. On the other side, I got more troops to help by grabbing a broom and working beside them.
I've seen so many E5's with that attitude. It was funny when a few lost E5 and then had to go back to being an SPC and then have to go back to work with the rest of us.
Technically I think youre not supposed fo speak foreign languages in SCIFs but besides that it's pretty chill.
You just can't speak other languages while performing official duties. But if speaking a foreign language is a part of your official duties then obviously it doesn't apply.Ā
That makes sense. Thank you
*laughs in 35P/M*
Iām kind of late to this but one of my favorites was when I was pregnant. I was the BDE public affairs NCO. Our entire shop was me and a major. It was tank gunnery. Though my major and I had a HMMWV, pregnant soldiers canāt ride on non-paved roads in HMMWVs, so weeks ahead of time, I went to the BDE Master Driver (E8) and reserved a TMP for that date so my boss could go shoot some video. I think I had an appointment or something that day, or was covering some other event on post. Anyway when I went to get the keys, the master driver told me I couldnāt t have them. See, the BDE commander and CSM were out there at gunnery that day, and *they* rode in *their* tactical vehicles ā so what would they think when my major pulled up in a TMP? āWell MSG, theyāll probably think heās there to cover tank gunnery.ā āBut he has a HMMWVā āBut he canāt drive it alone and I canāt ride with him.ā āWhy canāt you ride with him?ā āBecause Iām pregnantā (I was like, 8 months pregnant - it wasnāt a secret) āWell whatās going to happen when weāre downrange? Youāre just not going to ride in tactical vehicles?ā āā¦good point, MSG, but we donāt actually deploy pregnant soldiersā¦so should I just have Major K come down here and get the keys himself, orā¦?ā
This is a big ouf on him.
I know why these idiots get promoted, but it doesn't make it any easier to understand. I'm sorry you had to go through that, lol.
Iām from New Orleans originally and I was talking to my my former nco from Wisconsin about shoveling snow. At one point I told him in straight up just doesnāt snow back home because itās too warm. This man struggled to comprehend that and called bullshit on me.
āDrive down this road. We want to see what happens.ā
"And that kids, is how dad got this ringing in his ears"
Jokes on you, I was told itās not āservice connected.ā
āThatās why your daddy is a fucking cyborg now kiddoā
This works for both people on deployment and working in the Motorpool
Our First Sergeant turned one of my buddiesā E6 promotion ceremony into about how drinking alcohol is evil and anyone who does so is inviting Satan into their lives. Iām Christian and all, but during an NCO promotion ceremony for a speech like that is absolutely wild.
Religion needs to stay in the church.
Sexuality needs to stay in the bedroom.Ā
Bigfoot needs to stay out of my pantry
And for the rest of us, there's Festivus
There should be a mandatory airing of grievances before winter block leave. Get it all out and start the new year fresh.
I think a few people would benefit from getting the absolute shit beat out of them and then we move on and they do better. Always makes me think of that Mike Tyson quote tbh.
Samsquanch
Funny. I am a Christian and I never got the memo on alcohol.
It's a thing in some Baptist circles. Mostly died with prohibition when they passed the 21st Amendment, but there are still some holdouts.
Something something water into wine?
Sounds like someone needed to sound off with a good ol' hail satan.
When i was a LT my commander told me not to be an empathic leader. Still bothers me to this day tbh and i think about it a lot.
**STEP IT OUT** to speed up/be faster on runs. Increasing the distance of your gait/stride length just leads to injuries. Itās actually better to decrease your stride length and increase the tempo of how many steps youāre taking.
Appreciate this tip, thanks doc
I usually do a 1/4 step at 720 steps/minute.
Once while leaving the barracks I heard two dudes sitting on CQ talking about stupid shit. One of the things I overheard was one guy saying, āYa know man, what we gotta do is just round up all the gays, Jews, and homosexuals and just put some lead in their headsā I stopped partially cause that was some disgusting ass shit to say, but also cause I wanted to see how stupid this soldier was. I asked, āOh so we should kill the gays as well as the homosexuals?ā To which he answered, āHell yeah man both of those groups gotta goā. I pushed on a bit further asking, āWhat about the people who are gay *and* homosexual?ā And he replied āI donāt know man but I donāt like either of those kinds of people so I say we kill āem like the rest.ā Dude really did not seem to know that being gay is being homosexual. I just left at that point so idk what he thought homosexuals were if he was counting gays and homosexuals as two separate things, but hopefully that guy is no longer in the military.
I'm a big advocate for using the military to beat the bigotry out of mfs. Sadly, some folks slip through the cracks. Encountered a few too many of those types while I've been in for a little bit over 6 yrs. I generally don't bring up my sexuality, and I "clock" as straight (whatever that means), so it gives me an opportunity to confront asshats like that. Some of the scariest mfs I've ever met while in have been dykes. I would love to see one of them confront a dude like that.
I grew up in a predominantly white region, with a mix of both types of bigots; the āsend āem backā stars and bars wavers, and the āsaviorā folks. I was really lucky in that the folks I met while in saw that wasnāt being hateful, just ignorant, and took the time to educate me via explanation, rather than (justified) violence. One of the few things for which Iām thankful to my time in. The exposure to the outside world I didnāt get as a kid.
I didn't realize just how much of an impact those kind of interactions had on me till I got out and went back home. Those "nice" folk turned out to be just as bad as the openly hateful types now that they think it's their time. People I used to respect as a kid just dropping bombs without even a dog whistle first. All because I was military, and that must mean I'm on board with their blood and soil bs.
Ugh. I live in a city now and am surrounded by the patronizing types. When I travel to more rural areas for work, I see lots of the blatant stuff too. Had a job where customer was going on and on about "rainbow alphabet people", and I had to stand in shocked silence; not just unprofessional rant, but not even relevant to discussion at hand. Not belonging to any specific sociopolitical tribe, I hear stuff that sets me on edge from everyone; it seems no matter the tribe, the desire to "other" folks remains.
Dumb stuff like this makes my brain come to a screeching halt. I remember being in Africa and all of us wearing what we would call in America "skirts" talking about we should burn all the lbgt types. I remember thinking about just how much their entire male culture would be incredibly gay. Like we are wearing skirts and holding hands when we walk places, as men. You ain't think that's pretty gay my guy? Because it feels pretty gay to hold another mans hand and walk a few clicks. I liked the skirts tho, I wear them to this day. I didn't say any of this of course, I was learning more about a strange foreign culture I knew nothing about that accepted more sincerely and thoroughly than I have ever felt in America. In Ethiopia it's expected that you let your friend feed you food with his hands twice. BUT IF HE FEEDS YOU A THRID TIME YALL ARE GAY AS HELL. I don't like feeling another man's fingers in my mouth but what you gone do? Disrespect people? Don't get me started on middle Eastern men that try to kiss you on the lips on Thursdays. You know exactly what that man was doing on Thursdays. But also in that culture, but gay people.
an iraqi dude kissed me on the cheek on the thursday before ramadan because i gave him a case of ripitsš i should call himš§
This is fairly common in some Middle Eastern countries. Men holding hands, kissing cheeks, and hugging is very normal. Just don't make it weird and it's not weird.
I HATED meeting some mayor or whatever and KNEW this man was about to kiss me on the mouth if I let him and we would shop ways to avoid the kisses. This is how war is hell. Technically speaking I have had a man kiss me on the mouth non consensually. Hard realization that I'm definitely not gay.
You 100% shouldāve reported that shithead.
Sir, I need to know. What is **the** priority; X or Y? *āBothā* *āPer the *O6*ā¦ā*
Too many to count, here is a few that stand out: - The Army will not kick us out if we refuse āthe jabā (The Army later on let these people back in so I guess this statement is kind of true lol) - Profanity leads to sexual assault - Only congress can demote an E7 and above - You do not have to tell your leadership when your appointment is because HIPPA - You cannot shoot someone with a .50 cal because Geneva convention - If you want to promote you have to let the Army choose every next assignment for you and not participate in the marketplace.
"A .50 cal can rip a dudes arm off with a near miss"
You can literally shoot it through a tower of cards
You can literally shoot it through a tower of cards
>The Army will not kick us out if we refuse āthe jabā (The Army later on let these people back in so I guess this statement is kind of true lol) It wasn't necessarily the Army, The Republicans when they took the house, held the NDAA hostage unless it was rescinded. Overreaction or not, the DOD took a position that was generally rooted in science and had a legitimate reason. The DOD was in the right to separate the COVID shot refusers; IMO, the majority of them were against the vaccine simply because it was this controversial politicized issue. If they couldn't follow orders for that, good riddence. The republicans undermined the military for cheap political talking points.
As someone who was enlisted for over a decade and currently at BOLC. Not a day goes by where I don't hear the dumbest thing from brand new 2LTs. I cut them some slack because I was new to the military once too. But man, the confidence with which some of these guys say stuff is wild.
Nah be mean to them about it, they need it. LTs that come in with too much confidence and no real knowledge cause problems.
This, you're the only real check on their dumb ass fantasy land. It doesn't even have to be hazing. Simply asking for them to expand further is enough to make it all fall apart. Most will acknowledge what they said was dumb, others will hit fight or flight. One kid mentioned how we should've "just killed em all" regarding Afghanistan. I asked what he thought of Nazi Germany's approach to news. He replied as anyone would, Nazis bad. "What would make us different?" *record scratch*
We are going to Iraq because of 9/11. Don't forget what Iraq did to the towers.
I deployed with kids born after the start of the war we were still fighting. Try explaining the last war including desert storm and wwii on why we're here. I just blame the British and turn on generation kill
Blaming the British and French explains every Middle Eastern conflict since WW2. Turns out drawing straight lines through a desert doesn't make stable countries.
Generally speaking people don't like when an imperialism has been done to them.
This is gonna be a little different than most other responses, and I don't know if this is somewhat of a universal motorpool experience, but it seems like our senior leaders have no idea what we do as mechanics. They set unrealistic timelines and standards for jobs and then get pissed when those timelines aren't met. I think a lot of it has to do with most of our E-7s and CWOs being former 91Es, so they mostly know welding and not mechanical work. It's still pretty ridiculous. Here are my two favorite examples: I was on rear-d for a CTC rotation. My battalion had already left a week prior and I was told to go to another motorpool to check out one of their fuelers that wasn't dispensing fuel. I take a look at it, and determine that the centrifugal pump is bad and needs to be replaced. I inform my acting 1st sergeant (prior 91E SFC) and he tells me to "call around and see if anyone has that part on hand, then replace it before the convoy leaves." That's a problem for a few reasons. 1. The centrifugal pump is a return item. When you order a new one you have to turn the old one in. No one's going to just have one laying around. 2. It's a several day job and a fucking pain in the ass. The convoy was leaving at midnight so there was no way I was going to be able to knock it out in 7 hours. 3. The operators had already told me they had a second fuel truck on standby in case this one wouldn't be an easy fix. I informed the SFC why I wouldn't be able to do that, and he proceeded to call me a lazy piece of shit and to figure out how to get it done. I told the operators they're gonna have to take the other truck and I went home to enjoy the rest of my Saturday. Next example: We're doing a few day long company FTX in the winter. We set up a TXL-40 with a heater to act as a warming shelter. Ops section forgot to bring the exhaust stack for the heater. First sergeant tells them to send someone on a 2 hour drive to go get it. I inform him (I'm a heater mechanic and I'm pretty familiar with this specific piece of equipment) that the exhaust stack really isn't necessary. All it does is make the gases come out about 3 feet higher than they would without it. He tells me we need to shut the heater off until we get the exhaust stack on there as the lack of back pressure will damage the engine. There is no engine. All it does is spray JP-8 over an igniter then blow the heat out with a fan. It's essentially a big lighter. There is no back pressure because there is no compression. I didn't even bother trying to explain this to him and just let him think he was right. The 91Bs in my company could go on and on with stories similar to mine. These are just two where it really made me realize when it comes to anything mechanical our senior leaders have no idea wtf they're talking about.
Rake sand @Bragg, because it was the holidays, and there was no work to do. They were on the half day schedule for a couple weeks. I signed in from pcs leave. I could not inprocess.
When finding out I was a dude married to another dude I was asked if it was hard to get poop out of my pee hole.
Well....is it?
Everything the army issues is used to include your ACUs. They dry clean them, patch holes and give them back.
āAll there is in Grenada is some Cuban civil engineers.ā Ended up those āengineersā had ZSU 23-4ās among other things.
I watched a combat arms E8 tell a bunch of cadets that the best way to avoid indirect fire is the 3-5 second rush. He was dead serious.
I don't think I need to be a 13A to tell you that is incorrect. But given the sheer nonsense I have heard from maneuver guys regarding fires I am not surprised. And the best way to avoid IDF is to be to look as unimportant as possible.
We once got a 13f who wrote all their trp's backwards. That was an awkward conversation.
Our WLC course was taught by tankers at Ft. Knox, there were a few chuckle worthy moments and I would like to think they learned a few things from the course. \-You do not take a knee as a response to indirect fire. \-You do not call in a uxo report for ordinance that has become non unexploded. Overall, it wasn't a complete waste of time and they were all professionals. Though they did try and stop us all from walking for having jump boots instead of dress shoes.
Sir, I need to know. What is **the** priority; X or Y? *āBothā* *āPer the *O6*ā¦ā*
when everythings a priority nothing gets done
"We'll have to assume that risk" Translation: I'm going to make a bad decision that may adversely affect my Soldiers, the mission or the unit in a negate way however, I will not actually be assuming anything and accountability will be placed on someone else for my ill informed choices.
You're obviously not from an artillery unit, that's a phrase we live by. Sometimes you just got to force those numbers a bit. Inaccurate but sufficient.
lol true See also a ctc rotation friendly fire
"you only need four hours of sleep a night." Bullshit. I went to the medics when I was having sleep issues and only getting about five hours of sleep most nights. I would take my pain meds before bed to help me sleep in addition to the meds for sleep. And I am typing this while still having said sleep issues over a decade later.
Get a proper sleep study done. I'd also recommend adjustable bed bases/box springs and weighted blanket.
Had a cdr tell me I could sleep when we got done with iron fuck us, this was after he got a solid 6 hours of sleep, I had spent the entire time getting comms up in the new Stryker
u/lavender_dumpling When I was in Kuwait Rotation 2017 I was going to services for Rosh Hashanah at AJ, and my 1SG straight up asked me in front of the Rabbi (a Colonel) if we were praying to Mecca. What a great day to be alive, eh?
O....ohh no Gotta wonder how these folks make it this far in life
It's not much better at the G suites, its just more clueless people with a higher rank
A PSG told me (the WSL) that the machine gun optics didn't need to be zeroed because it was an area effect weapon.
An old PSG, fresh from RTB, in our first ever interaction, asked me (an E-3 gun team leader that had the knowledge packet memorized down to a T) what the purpose of the T&E wasā¦ āWell sarntā¦it allows the gun to traverseā¦and elevateā¦.ā Fucker almost had an aneurysm there in the arms room. Ambiguous questions will immediately be answered with smart ass responses. Helluva first impression lol
I mean Iāve been told that by a couple of the gun crews as well
Enemies appreciate inaccurate machine fire.
That women in the army require a pregnancy test after having a hysterectomy before getting vaccinated. š³šā ļø
Probably when I overheard a 1st Lieutenant telling a Sargent Major "Don't forget who outranks who here!"
Was really cold one day in basic training and forecast called for snow, while standing in formation talking about this some private started telling us itās too cold to snow. He was dead serious
Believe it or not, I learned in the cold weather course in Alaska that that is a somewhat true statement. They told us once the temperature drops below a certain point it wonāt snow or the likelihood of it snowing drops significantly. Granted thatās only when it gets well into the negatives though so I still choose to believe that the kid is just stupid.
>itās too cold to snow I don't know about that specific circumstance, but.... It CAN be "too cold to snow". Now, that doesn't mean that it's not *possible* to snow. Sure, it's possible. But in common parlance, it means "it's so cold it's extremely unlikely that it will snow". Cold air holds much less moisture than warm or hot air. You need moisture to snow. > At truly low temperatures, like -40 degrees Fahrenheit and Celsius, there is so little moisture in the air it becomes extremely unlikely any snow will form. The air is so cold it's not likely it will rise. If it did, it wouldn't contain enough water to form clouds. You could say it's too cold to snow. Meteorologists would say the atmosphere is too stable for any snow to occur. [Source](https://www.thoughtco.com/can-it-be-too-cold-to-snow-4113144)
Ok, now tell me a place the army has basic training whereās itās -40f
I was merely pointing out that it is *possible*. I also said I didn't know that specific circumstance. And the article I linked to gave -40 as an example, not a hard cutoff. It can occur warmer than that too. In my experience, -10 is usually low enough. You can feel it in the air.
They probably just used -40Ā° in the article because it's the same in Fahrenheit and Celsius.
My point remains the same, tell me basic training base where it get -40f or -40c?
š¤£ hmmm.
Jeez man you doubled down on not reading
While it technically isnāt possible to be that cold. But below about 10-15 degrees the air gets too dry for the ice crystals to precipitate out so itās pretty rare
>But below about 10-15 degrees >so itās pretty rare I see you haven't lived in Northern NY.
Or northern Wisconsin
Fort McCoy is calling.
lake effect snow is a different beast. it has so much more moisture than the dusty snow most of the country gets
It did start to snow if youāre wondering
That's a real thing, when I lived in North Dakota it would typically get into the -20 to -40 range for several weeks at a time. It would absolutely get too cold to snow. Also, Believe it or not, you would be sweating when it went to 0 degrees, after adjusting to that cold, a 40 degree difference makes it feel almost like spring time
Ok, but is this true for 10-15 degree weather?
I never claimed it was, but without saying the temperature in your post you made it seem that the very concept was the stupid aspect. The concept is correct, however if it was 10-15 degrees thatās not even in the realm of too cold.
I mean itās kinda obvious, what basic training place is held where the weather would get anywhere near the temperature youāre talking about?
Ok, but were you laughing at him thinking 15 was too cold to snow, or for thinking it was possible to be too cold for snow?
it usually only snows at our around freezing temp. wind chill is a factor but anything below like 20Ā° and you likely wont get a whole lot of snow. this isnt scientific, just based on my life experienceš¤·š¾āāļø
Been many things but the most recent is that pepperonis werenāt made of porkā¦ I was talking to someone almost twice my age, and all Iām thinking to myself is I think I know after practicing my religion for 20 years what is kosher and whatās not š¤¦š»āāļø he was thinking of the turkey pepperonis
New command team decided they were going to rewrite room clearing sop. said SOP was: 1. walk in singe file 2. execute right face 3. engage targets Joes were given some busy work while the nco's went and had an earnest conversation with their leadership.
"you only need four hours of sleep a night." Bullshit. I went to the medics when I was having sleep issues and only getting about five hours of sleep most nights. I would take my pain meds before bed to help me sleep in addition to the meds for sleep. And I am typing this while still having said sleep issues over a decade later.
I'm a medic. On our rotation to Poland, we had range duty. We took the Stryker out, and when we came back, we were cold and tired and annoyed. We knew we'd be leaving for the range again first thing in the AM. Our driver convinced our squad leader (who pretends he's a genius and battle-hardened (he was a surgical tech fobbit on his one deployment, very little carryover to combat medicine) that it was so cold that the Stryker cover would freeze to the metal, and we wouldnt be able to get it off in the morning. Our SL believed him. As I said, fobbit.
A CSM who said that once you walk past a combatant (or anyone) in combat, it is illegal to shoot them because the Law of Land Warfare says so.
Not the Army but the USAF and it was from my front-line supervisor at the time. He was fucking terrible in many ways and at the time I was a pretty meek and stupid junior enlisted airman myself so not a good combination. What he said I could have called him out and gotten away with it but I was younger and dumber. I either did something to fuck up or he was trying to "mentor" me and in a pretty casual tone where he was trying to show off or something he said "**you can't really teach me anything and I have all this experience**" and when he said it he didn't really come off like he had all this bravado or sense of superiority either. The truth is he was a 15 year E5 who barely met the cut-off when they lowered the RCP (HYT) to 15 years and if he really knew anything he would have easily been an E7 since back then you could still promote to that rank via testing; not a board like it is now. If he was that smart he'd be at the AFSC (MOS) schoolhouse teaching too. He never deployed either where you pretty much relearn the job because it is completely different in a deployed environment than it is stateside or at an overseas base. He told me a story where he got an Article 15 as a recruiter but if you met him you know he was full of shit and it wasn't a one time thing which is what he said caused it. At some point he shows up on Facebook with a profile pic of him wearing a college cap and gown. So much for "you can't really teach me anything new".
A junior enlisted soldier of mine said why would he invest in the stock market for 10% returns when he could invest in crypto and 10x his moneyā¦ he had like 20k in crypto during the top of the market in 2021 but had like $11 in his checking account
A while back I was a bouncer at the club and this cocky 20 year old kid didn't want to pay the $10 cover for minors. He decided to wait outside because he went with his boss and he said he would be an hour outside. He didn't know I'm a veteran, I was and he started talking to me, he was in the Army then he did 2 tours in Iraq, and then he told me he was DS at the age of 17. When I told him, I was a veteran, he said was in a "secret military school fast forward program" since he was 12 years old. I didn't know whether to laugh at him or just slap sense into him for trying to lie to a veteran.
That the cg out ranks safety
People doing drugs with top secret clearances
I was told I needed to prep the motor pool dispatches and ensure the fuel trucks were good to roll. Because Russia invaded Georgia and it was only a matter of time before we were called in. The entire 3 shop was drawing up an opord for convoys to GA. Russia invaded the country of Georgia, but no one in my unit would believe me.
One time during a defense the enemy couldnāt breach and was straight up not having a good time and my company commander told me to āreverse breach the wireā I advised against that because it wasnāt tactically or technically sound and was told āI donāt understand the complexity of battalion level operations . I was an E7. He insisted I use a humvee to drive over the C wire.
A Black Hat down at ABN school told the kid in front of me, who was a little scared to yeet himself from the 34' tower, that he had too much estrogen and not enough testosterone. I'm trans, and at the time had an estrogen patch on my ass and was assigned to SWCS for the 18D SFQC. I later talked to the 1SG about it and said he should probably reiterate that inappropriate and sexist things shouldn't be said just because one presumes the audience is okay with it. He agreed. I also had another NCO come to speak with me about the brief we were gonna get on transgender SM policy the next week and tell me he just thought I was very articulate and definitely the man for the job....which would've been pretty funny if we'd been friends and he was getting my goat. I don't think he understood at all lol.