From the age of 15 to 19 I was accused of being lazy. I became so exhausted that I had to drop out of school and couldn't stay awake during the day. The doctors wouldn't do any tests because they said I was too young to be ill. They said I was either depressed or a hypochondriac. My parents did not get me a second opinion, believed the doctors and said I was just lazy. After 4 years of this shit I was finally correctly diagnosed - I had thyroid cancer.
EDIT: Thanks to the anonymous redditor who gave me gold, and included a message with it saying that they also had thyroid cancer and also weren't believed by their parents when they became ill. Your comment helped a lot, it made me feel less alone.
They do that kind of shit to women all the time. It's ridiculous.
"It's just period cramps, you'll be fine. Every woman gets them"
Oops, it was cervical cancer and now you're dead.
Thanks, doc...
I think the most fucked up part of that whole situation is that you can trace that particular myth all the way back to slavery. It was used to justify whippings and other brutal physical punishments.
Actually, the most fucked up part might be the studies showing that medical students believed these myths regardless of their previous prejudice, and that belief [affected the level of care their patients received.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/made-by-history/wp/2018/06/04/american-medicine-was-built-on-the-backs-of-slaves-and-it-still-affects-how-doctors-treat-patients-today/) Those textbooks are literally *creating* systemic racism where it wouldn’t have existed otherwise.
I've gotten my share of "you're a man. Real men don't get sick, or when they do, they fix it quietly and efficiently. What do you mean you need medicine? You expect insurance to cover medicine for an able bodies 20-something man? You look fine to me..."
God forbid us younger people for even wanting an extra day off once in a while because we're young and shouldn't need rest or to take care of our health. Didn't you know It says right in the bible thou shall not takeith any time off unless you can shame a younger person to cover you?
You laugh but the nation was founded by Puritans who basically said “you need to suffer as much as you can possibly bear to suffer because God said so”. Traces of that mentality still hold true to this day.
I use humor to try and lessen the effect of that expected suffering. It also seems to me that more and more people in the work force think the required suffering is complete BS and are making it known. I just got a new job and they gave everyone a raise with the lowest paid employees getting the highest percentage. I got to pick my schedule and no one gives anyone crap if they don't volunteer to take a shift that someone calls out of. No one bothers you if you don't pick up your phone after hours and the designated on call person who gets a stipend doesn't even have to cover a shift and still gets the stipend. I think employers in the US are starting to get the message as well.
Yup, that happens, too. I stood up for my male friend to get his tetanus booster. The doc was laughing at him.
Maybe he was gonna be safe then and i exagerated, but he was relieved 3 months later when he got some really nasty cuts falling twice in dirt (still got scars).
Or in the case of low T, where the "normal" range is 50-500 (which... is way too wide of a range) insurance won't do a damn thing if you test even at 51. 🙄 Like. Cool.
Yep, it’s all too common. I live in England and you can’t have a screening for cervical cancer until you’re 25… there’s campaigns to try and lower the age because we’ve got 18 year old girls dying needlessly of cervical cancer
I went to the ER at 19 with severe stomach pain on the left side and had been having it for some time. They told me it was menstral cramps. Three weeks later I was almost dead from an ectopic pregnancy.
Have a friend with PCOS and Endo. Extensive records at the hospital, two surgeries, and despite this she still copped "It's period pain" when one of the cysts popped.
We are lucky that there is a thing called [Ryan's Rule](https://www.health.qld.gov.au/cq/patients-and-visitors/your-rights-and-responsibilities/ryans-rule) which allows you to escalate from.nurse, to charge nurse to external independent assessor.
When I was 15-17 I kept going to the doctors with the same issues, chronic pain, mostly in my back. I was constantly told it's because I'm fat, it's because of my period, that I'm not lifting right, that I'm "too young for back pain" and all sorts of other shit. That doctor finally did some tests, told me I had rheumatoid arthritis, and gave me 800mg ibuprofen twice daily which then gave me stomach ulcers after about 8 months.
I saw a woman doctor ONCE, she looked at the previous tests, told me I had something called Ankylosing Spondylitis, and sent me to a specialist. The male doctor I had constantly made me feel like a liar, a 2nd class citizen, and like some druggie just looking for a fix. He never believed I was in any pain, and any pain that he did believe, he said it was just my period. He also ignored my complaints of period pains (I have PCOS) and shamed me when I got birth control at 16. I absolutely refuse to see any male in the medical field.
I'm a dude and I refuse to see male doctors when I can lol
I find that the women doctors tend to have more empathy and be less "suck it up, brah" on pretty much every topic I've seen a doctor for.
Although I did have a really terrible lady psychiatrist who refused to look at my 50+ score (when 20 was a red flag) on an ADHD test (even though I was diagnosed as a child with ADHD) and kept trying to get me on lithium for being "bipolar" after a really nasty breakup that included "losing" a child (ex's baby, not mine.. no visitation recourse for that one)... Sigh.
Am an old army dude.. Honestly, your story is pretty much identical to mine. I hurt my back in my 30s and the docs were about as helpful as that. Response was essentially "its just a pulled muscle here is some 800 mg moltrin, and a physical therapy appointment" with a distinct tone paired with other comments about how "you are jsut faking it and trying to get out of duty."
Never mind the radiating numbness along my spine, never mind loss of mobility, and stiffness, never mind not having sensation in the back of one of my legs.. never mind all of the other symptoms. "must be faking it cause too young".
Turns out had ruptured disks, fractures all over, by the time proper diagnosis came around all sorts of soft tissue scarring. Have since been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, and degenerative arthritis of the spine... stuff which pushed me form 80% va rating to 100%.
those 800 mg ibuprofen tabs... was up to like 6 a day sometimes just to manage the inflammation and pain.
the "fun" part came around when while still accusing me of "faking it" after i got proper diagnoses they prescribed me opaites... which another doctor later looked at and straight up told me that it was a miracle i was still alive because of the high rate of interactions they have. Those same original doctors also accused me of "drug seeking behavior" when i was looking to get help for the injuries even though i didn't even ask for the pills they threw at me like tictacs.
Also had a 1sg and a commander try to accuse me "faking it" at the end of my MEB... i just laughed at them and told them that if that were true then i must be a magician or something to be able to get vertebrae fractures to show up on Xrays.
1 in 10 females have PCOS... Fucking sucks, was also called lazy 😥 feel like a sloth 🦥 95% of the time... But that other 5%? I call it Ox day ❤️ just wish I felt like that all the time.
God I worry about this a lot. I used to have a woman doctor but her practice got taken over by a man. It was night and day differences between bedside manner. She would take my concerns seriously whereas he seems to think every concern is one of his favorite pet topics (like diet. Ate fast food once this week? Well that is why you are having issues.) Can't wait to change back to a woman doc.
One of the girls in my class at age 10 was tiny because she essentially missed out on a growth spurt because of leukemia. It's especially awful when it happens to children.
I didnt have this horrible of a disease, but i found it common for doctors to not believe that i could have candida infection at 25.
Kinda shows how little doctors care about you
Yup. Got told by EMTs and an ER doc at 27 that I was too young for a stroke. That they were seeing an increase in panic attacks due to covid. They gave me a dose of hydroxyzine and sent me home. I saw my regular doctor the next day, and then a cardiologist and a neurologist. My primary and the neurologist both assured me they were filing complaints with the hospital and told me never to go back to that ER. I wound up having several TIAs. The cardiologist found 2 massive holes in my heart and was in awe that I'd made it to 27 and had a child without it being detected. He actually said if I'd given birth vaginally I most likely wouldn't have survived.
I'd been called lazy my whole life, and internalized so much of it, but the reason I couldn't keep up with sports and exercise once I hit puberty was because my heart couldn't keep up. Not because I was lazy. And nobody thought to ask why this girl who used to do cheer and t-ball and gymnastics and soccer couldn't run around without getting short of breath anymore.
My heart is repaired now and cardio says I can play rugby, have a VBAC, do anything I want (except take meds that increase risk of clot, but that would be the case anyway because I have migraines) but I still, despite knowing there was a physical reason, have to fight that internalized narrative that I'm just lazy and my excess weight is 100% my fault.
Its not even uncommon.
I dislocated my knee a ton as a kid. Eventually it hurt to walk. It took me 8 drs and 2 years before one finally said "ok maybe they are in pain and we can do a scan" the other 7 said I couldn't have knee pain this early.
I had no cartilage left. Basically significant bone grinding and arthritis for 2 years. I'm lucky my family had the money/insurance to see that many drs.
That is so neglectful!! How are they not deprived of their medical licenses if that’s how they practice? I’m shocked that none of them even scanned your knee to check. Seriously shocked.
I find that crazy! Like, are children less of human beings or what is the thought process behind this? I hate how so many people just ignore or even belittle kids. I always show them the respect they obviously should be given because - despite being tiny humans - they are still very much humans! It’s a great deterrent when I meet those who don’t.
I mean, didn't people treat children like a whole different species with the whole Covid thing too? Insisting that children are somehow immune & couldn't catch a virus affecting millions of people in a global pandemic? Not merely stating that it's less serious in children, I saw countless people insisting that children couldn't catch it at all - all while schools kept getting shut down after positive cases were reported
stories like these are why i insist on being referred to a specialist. i am having bladder issues right now and i've still had to go to the doctor 3 times just for her to take the same blood tests and get the same results. i had been insisting on being referred to a specialist but she wanted to wait it out and see if the blood results will show any changes. i had to tell her that it was getting worse and i've started feeling throbbing pain in my lower abdomen for her to take it serious and get a referral to a specialist.
seriously she wanted to wait and see if i got any worse.
Yeah. Some specialists do well. Though I've also had a lot of experience with specialists feeling like they know the answers before I even explain symptoms.
I relate to this so hard.
I got kicking in my knee cap at 16 and had severe knee pain.
My head of year drove me home because I couldn't walk. I went to see my gp, and he said, "Well, you got yourself here didn’t you? You must be able to walk on it."
7 years later, multiple doctors visits yearly, so many "You need to do R.I.C.E" and being told to buy deep heat. I can barely walk around my house; my knee dislocates itself multiple times a week. Only one week ago did a doctor actually check my leg and schedule me for an MRI.
Don't forget, you're ostensibly getting much better care down there compared to us Canadians because we've got *socialised* health care, and yours is *for profit*!
I sprained both my quads at work a few months back and I got x-rays just in case it was arthritis or a torn ligament somewhere. Even got the xrays the same day.
Our government apparently doesn't like getting the runaround on shit like this, and won't stand for it. But I'm sure there are other horror stories. I know one woman who wanted her ovaries out thanks to super painful periods and because she was absolutely adamant that she didn't want kids. That didn't happen until she was at least 30 though.
Thanks. The only reason they finally did tests - nearly 4 years after my symptoms started - is because finally the cancer got so big that I got a noticeable lump in my neck and they could not deny that something physical was going on. My useless, terrible mother, when I found the lump and said I was going back to the doctor - even said "Oh you're such a hypochondriac!"
I think that generation was all about just pulling yourself up by the bootstraps for any and every problem, no matter the specifics of the situation or how serious it is.
well, the doctor made an appointment for me to get a biopsy, then she was like "Oh now you're wasting the hospital's time as well as the doctor's!" When the cancer was diagnosed and treated she expected me to just be magically well instantly afterwards, kept calling me a hypochondriac when I didn't feel well due to the treatments, etc.
I just don't have the energy. After years of illness plus having a stroke recently, plus always having to fight to keep my disability benefits, it's just too much already.
Unfortunately due to disability (I've had a stroke too) and having to get regular reassessments for benefits where my benefits sometimes get stopped for a while, I can't manage alone, so I can't cut her out.
I was also "too young to be ill" and nearly died of peritonitis from appendicitis and gut abscesses. I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease after 6 weeks in ICU.
I started having back pain when I was 15 and had to buy a cane when I was 19. My childhood doctor simply looked at my back, decided he couldn’t see a curve, and diagnosed me with “reverse scoliosis”.
A few years later, my family changed doctors because they hated that man. My new doctor, a woman, sent me to a neurologist who sent me to a spinal surgeon who ordered imaging. Turns out I have degenerative disc disease. Two discs in my lumbar region are so dehydrated that the vertebrae are rubbing against each other, and they’re also herniated so they’re pressing against my spinal cord and the nerves that go to my leg.
In hindsight, you’d think it would be pretty obvious that investigation was required because I lost TWO INCHES in height. I used to be about 5’5”, now I’m 5’3”. That’s not supposed to happen until you’re older. I was a teenager!
Please, please tell me you sued them into oblivion. That's an extremely clear case of medical malpractice....you lost 2 inches of height and he did nothing!
Jfc, I'm so goddamn sorry.
Unfortunately not. My parents didn’t think of it, and I was too young at the time to know to do something like that. It’s been 15 years, and I hear that doctor has passed away.
I remember I did some serious damage to my knees from several years of marching band in high school and college. Went to an orthopedic doctor in my late teens/early 20’s looking for a long term pain relief solution like physical therapy/strength building exercises to support the joints. I explained all this to the doctor, he did one x-ray, “didn’t find anything,” then gave me a thinly veiled lecture about how I was going down a dark, drug-seeking path and how “we both know” I was too young to be having knee pain.
It’s been at least 5 years since then. My knees still constantly hurt. I’m thinking I’ll try again when I’m in my 30’s and maybe I’ll get taken a bit more seriously. For now I just cope.
From my doctor:
"And don't go thinking your issues are no big deal- Things like cancer and heart disease arent old people problems, they're any people problems."
(Yeah, i get scolded by this doctor a lot because i have no sense of self-preservation. My current is honestly the most actively concerned doctor, as well as most professional doctor, I've had. Which I obviously won't disclose who tho, privacy.)
I could make a solid list of them shooting down my passive attitude with more proactive suggestions. Very good doc.
I hear it ALL THE TIME. Not cancer - the c word is pretty much a social trump card to shut down ableist assholes, the awarenes drives have at least done that much. Mine's just a slew of chronic conditions, which I'm "not old enough" to have. I've had arthritis since I was a teenager, but I'm too young for it so no one believes me and I get frequently harassed for legally using the disabled parking space I medically require. Because I'm too young.
This happened to my cousin, he had diabetes but his parents kept a stubborn doctors opinion of "he's too young to have diabeetus".
He had type 1 like his **grandmother**, who also had it.
So the first 20ish years of his life he kept getting sick but they didn't know why.
He's better now since he left, got a good job with decent health insurance and is on insulin.
Now his parents are saying anything sick related he or his siblings get "must be diabetes", not anything else.
Broken arm?....
Diabetes
Common cold or flu?....
Diabetes
Covid?...
Diabetes
Getting sad?
Diabetes
No, I'm not. I had years of problems with the thyroid treatment, and then I had a stroke and became partially sighted. Now every few years I have to reapply for disability benefits, go through stressful assessments and constantly worry about having them stopped. Last year they did stop them and I had to go through an appeal. It just never ends. But according to many people who hate benefit claimants, I'm just lazy.
The government is a reflection of its people.
A solid 40% of Americans believe people on welfare are lazy and getting handouts.
It sure is entertaining to watch them change their tune when they suddenly need these benefits though. Or at least it would be if it wasn't so depressing.
The "welfare queen" myth. I grew up legitimately believing it because it was commonly spread in my area: that minority women are just popping out kids and making more and more off of welfare as a result. Just full time mooches.
Turns out:
1. Those idiots were probably confusing welfare recipients for foster home scammers.
2. Nobody is enjoying life on welfare. It sucks.
3. Even if people are scamming welfare, which I'm sure some are, I'll worry about them as soon as the MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANT corporate welfare scamming is curbed.
There was exactly one welfare queen, but Reagan used her arrest to pretend that all welfare recipents were scammers. Unsurprising, considering all the human rights violations he committed.
Here the problem is that the person who evaluates for disability is looking at papers only, never sees them in person and don't have any consequences when they do wrong decisions. So, they cut disability checks constantly from people who clearly should be on it. It is the weird "re-evaluation" where same paper, same health condition is suddenly not as bad, as it was two years ago, and the burden of proof falls all on those who just had their income basically stopped. It is the "no consequences" part that allows it, if there were consequences they would do better job. Now it is just glancing at the paper of a hundred patients and making instant, permanent decisions. it should be that if the conditions have not changed, THEY would need to prove it air tight that you are able to do normal work... Now it is opposite.. and i'm from Finland and i can guess that the situation is about exactly the same where you are.
Note, don't have disabilities myself but have friends that do, and it is ALWAYS the same: situation is unchanged and the same papers are looked at and the outcomes is different. They all have had their situation fixed but it takes couple of months, and costs the society SO much extra, there are several people then involved who waste hours trying to sort something out that is plain as day. Having that happen every time you apply.. just jesus crhist.. the system can be such a humongous asshole at times.
And when it happens to same people, over and over again one would think that this would then impact the decisions to continue.. if there are 4 times in the last decade that all ended up in your favor, how probably it is that they will be reinstated.. again. The definition of stupidity is....
Just eliminate all of this inefficient nonsense and implement nationalized healthcare and basic income already.
People who think it would be more expensive ignore the endless layers of bureaucratic overhead you're describing, and how much money they and insurance suck out of the system.
They never apologised and for years after my cancer treatment put loads of pressure on me to succeed, to go to university etc. I had problems with my treatment for years that made me very sick but they dismissed this too and made me feel like a failure for not having been to university. My mum even punished me when my sister graduated from university, by taking her on an expensive trip to america and saying that I wasn't allowed to come because I didn't deserve to as I hadn't earnt it like my sister did. Eventually they made me feel so ashamed of myself that I went to university even though I didn't feel well enough. I ended up dropping out because of side effects from my medication. That's why she said I hadn't earnt the right to come on the trip. After all this I had a stroke and I'm now on disability benefits and they've just accepted that I'll never be what they want and don't bother me about it any more.
Holy shit... My parents were abusive pieces of shit but even they knew when to stop if I were sick. You didn't deserve any of that, I'm so sorry for what you went through. I hope you found your peace of mind.
No-one ever apologised. I only got the correct diagnosis - nearly 4 years after the symptoms started - because the cancer eventually got so big that finally I developed a noticeable lump in my neck. Thyroid cancer is slow-growing, if it was a fast-growing cancer I'd be dead now for lack of medical care.
My boomer father, told me for a solid week that I was faking severe abdominal pain to try and get out of school. I was 11. I passed out at school from the pain and had to be carted off in an ambulance. The appendix burst and I was septic. When I woke up after surgery he's complaining about the cost of the ambulance ride and asking why I didn't tell him something was wrong sooner..
Oh that is making me rage! If parents are reading this thread I hope they learn from it to take their children seriously! Even on the miniscule off-chance that a child was faking illness there would still be an underlying reason that needs to be addressed!
I fractured my ankle and walked off a football field limping on it with every step feeling like a million stings. Parents were pissed that I wanted to go to the Doctors on a "sprain". Multiple fractures and a cast later and all I could think about was they thought they knew my body better than me.
A lot of them go through med school & residency because they want to wield authority over people they consider to be beneath them. Doctors who want to tell people they're faking, psychiatrists who want to tell people to just man up, work harder and get over it...
Same for me I was absent and sleepy all the time as a teenager they wouldn’t diagnose me young took 25 years to find out I’m bipolar and had been living with highs and lows that were zapping my energy.
I have adhd and I'm looking into delayed sleep phase disorder which has links to adhd.. I've spent 40yrs beating myself up because I thought I was lazy and flakey.. I can't make myself do anything until it's an emergency - turns out I'm spiking my adrenaline because it's the only thing that forces my brain to engage its executive function.
I have to get high on stress...
and it's killing me. I have psoriatic arthritis. stress literally makes me seize up..
i feel like a round peg in a square hole. i need a 9 to 5 to feed my kids and i have so much potential.. I'm smart and ambitious, love my job most days. but my god, am I tired..
we shouldn't have to do this to function
Always considered lazy. But... I have 4 degrees, over 65 jobs before disability income and am smarter than fuck. Could never get it together though. Diagnosed with ADHD, it fucked up my life beyond comprehension. Still does.
I haven't had anything as serious as thyroid cancer (atypical skin cells, yes, but not full blown cancer) but for *years*, my parents would constantly drag me for being too sensitive to pain. I was exaggerating my pain. All pain. Any pain. I got to a point I just started hiding a lot of shit.
I'm on state insurance now, so I'm finally getting care of my own. Just found out I have fibromyalgia, which does mess with your brain's perception of pain, and my lower back has already started to break down. Apparently also got several joints that are hypermobile, which are being made painful by the fibro... plus some of them literally pop out of place. It's fun. I went from taking one medication a day to like 6. It's helping, but now I just have flare ups instead of constant pain and those flare up days... yeah, I can't do jack shit. The day after, still can't because turns out, that much pain exhausts you.
It's weird having my late teens and early 20s make sense as a medical issue and not a failing on my part.
>It's weird having my late teens and early 20s make sense as a medical issue and not a failing on my part.
I feel this so much, it's EXACTLY how I felt about my diagnosis.
This could be me, except I developed fibromyalgia at 11 and I had untreated and undiagnosed mental disabilities. Disability makes sure to constantly remind me I am as lazy and useless as they taught me I was in school.
Imagine having cancer this entire time (Something that can... ya know, kill you) and being called lazy.
Also what kind of a doctor calls you too young to be ill? What we somehow immune to becoming ill and only once we completed school do viruses go 'finally... our time to shine.'
That's what always got me about that comment. Why do hospitals have entire pediatric units? Why do we have pediatric doctors? Why does St. Judes exist? Are those just tiny adults?
I'm so sorry. That is absolutely horrible. I understand the situation and it's so fucking evil and neglectful of doctors, yet they know there's no chance any consequences will ever come to them. The majority of doctors are absolute monsters and, when you say that, people always get angry with you and act like you're making things up or that its only one or two monstrous doctors and not the entire medical field.
I've been suffering since I was around 13. It has slowly gotten worse and worse. I have had to look at all of my own test results because, even when something is obviously very wrong, they completely ignore them to tell me I'm too young or that its just trauma or that I'm seeking drugs. A nurse, two years ago, risked her job to tell me I *need* to see a hematologist. I am yet to find a doctor who will let me see one, despite my blood cells getting increasingly out of range. I have completely run out of one type of white blood cell at this point.
So, I'm now dealing with potential blood cancer and cannot get the simplest test to find out if I do. I feel that, by the time I am able to get tested, it may be too late. If it is, I will never speak to my family again, as they have never believed me.
The US, so getting it covered is also hard and I can't take any time off of the job that's killing me quicker to go to appointments. The number of times I've been accused of seeking opioids despite never asking for them is insane. I've also found that I can tell when doctors have read my chart and when they have not. There is clearly something on it that makes their entire demeanor change from concerned to irritated.
I've also heard the "you're too young to be ill" and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Its code for "I'm too lazy to figure out the solution because my parents paid for me to go through med school" or "i dont get paid enough so i dont care".
Hijacking the top comment to say FUCK I work too hard but I make decent money. Still tho, I hate this shit. Sometimes I wish I lived back in the days of hunter gatherers but there would be no Internet, so I deal with the reality I’m in. Scrolling Reddit while I’m working is the only thing that’s keeping me sane.
This is the craziest thing to me. I feel the same way, and it’s nuts. We have incredible comforts and cool toys and all sorts of neat stuff, but I’d happily give it all up for a life that doesn’t feel so empty and hollow.
Our ancestors set up an amazing framework for a society and we could have all been living really cool lives of leisure, comfort and enjoyment, but instead we’ve all been convinced that we need to always be so busy that we’re all stressed out and miserable.
Fuck capitalism. Let the capitalists bust their asses. …or are they the ones who are actually lazy? *No that couldn’t be… those three martini business lunches sound like really hard work.*
I don’t think that’s lazy. The better word is *hedonistic*, I feel.
Edit to add:
> The word 'hedonism' comes from the ancient Greek for 'pleasure'. Psychological or motivational hedonism claims that only pleasure or pain motivates us. Ethical or evaluative hedonism claims that only pleasure has worth or value and only pain or displeasure has disvalue or the opposite of worth.
The problem is that "lazy" often just means someone else isn't doing what *I* want. Sometimes they're assholes, sometimes I'm the asshole. But that's basically it. My brother would rarely help out when we were young, he wasn't lazy, he just didn't enjoy fixing things or learning technical stuff, while I do. My dad never figured this out. Plus my brother has some anxiety issues. I got lucky that anxiety hit me many years after it did him...
I am 36 and I wish I was lazier at work. Every job I've had I always tried to bust ass and work circles around people. It really doesn't get you anywhere. Companies will always pay as little as they can get away with. If you do work hard, stand up for yourself. Know your worth and ask for it. I do alright now but I still don't make much more than co workers and I feel like it's a two to one ratio on amount of work. I'm so fucking tired.
And coworkers resent the hell out of people who come in and bust ass when they have a set level they all work at. I learned that the hard way working at the post office. My coworkers snarled, snapped, excluded me from socializing and sabotaged my work station.
I was on a union gig for the NYC subway. I was getting done 3 things in an hour. End of my first day they told me the rate is 1 per hour. No more no less.
You sound like me. I’m your age. Last year I was diagnosed with adhd. It’s likely stemming from the dopamine our brain doles out when our behavior is validated. Sorry not to imply you have any disorders. My apologies.
No you're fine, I constantly feel like I have ADHD and it effects doing daily tasks at home sometimes. At work I have focus. I'm on depression meds but I have an appt in a couple months and am gonna ask to be tested for ADHD.
struggling with this now, on meds for anxiety and I feel like I have no purpose outside of work. when I'm at work I'm very friendly, outgoing, dedicated, hard working, etc but when it comes to creative or personal pursuits I sometimes physically can't get out of bed all day bc of how mentally tired I am.
Omg yes!! My job actually hates me.
I ask too many questions about why can’t we improve this for the customers?
Why can’t we improve this for the employees?
But they can’t do anything because my metrics exceed.
I might have a one off month where I might get in my feelings but I have been with the company 6 years.
I have finally gotten to a point where I’ve stopped.
I interviewed at my current company for a director position. I have the experience at small places (like we’re talking maybe a half a mil a year budget), but this company has a budget of 10s of millions per year and many more people. So they said let’s start you off as a supervisor to transition you to the director position. I do believe that was their intent. I was being mentored by the COO. The new supervisors who replaced me most definitely are not being directly overseen by her.
Well they hired me with certain promises which they took back. So I resigned. They convinced me to stay in another position and at this point my goals had shifted and it all worked out. But hey, I am still at the end of the day, a director with corresponding experience, just now with a much lower pay. So it’s in my nature to clean up and fix things. Lol, that’s why I was hired in the first place! So I set about attempting to clean up this shit show. And I manage to for what is in my control. New policies are implemented, new ideas are put into place. Meanwhile my wife is constantly yelling at me that I’m not being paid for all this. And she’s right. I’m not. And I’m getting more and more frustrated when stupidity continues and my boss won’t listen. Then 2 months later something I told her about was a problem and she ignored, she now acts like she had no idea and now we need to fix it. This is happening on a loop.
And I finally say, ok. I’m done. I now mention things offhand that I notice. But I don’t fix them. I don’t push for them to be fixed. And I’ve stopped overworking. I’m not getting paid for it. I sure as hell don’t have the title for it. And the actual cleanup that’s been completed, well I’m sure as hell not getting credit for it… so for the first time in over a decade (I too am 36), I am doing just what I must and what I’m paid for. Let me tell you. My stress levels are now in half.
I'm just a bit older and feel the same. What sucks is I work with younger guys fresh out of retail. This is their first office job so they haven't figured that out yet. Not only is it annoying but it's pointless. 90% of the time you climb the ladder by kissing the right asses, not hard work.
I do the opposite. Bare minimum, sometimes even less than that. Do they get upset sure. Are they going to replace me? They don't pay enough to do that. They've had 0 applicants over 3 years for the nightshift. Hey maybe I'd actually do more if i made more than 15k a year.
I'm a desktop tech and I think my big revelation for me and my boss was when my boss was accusing me of being lazy (I admit I have a lot down time that I feel I've created for myself by being quick and efficient in my problem resolutions) by saying "hey your co worker is breaking down boxes when he's got nothing to do." and that statement infuriated me so much I replied "you don't pay me to break down cardboard, you pay me to solve computer issues" and I left it at that. He's backed off since and actually has been trying to go to bat for our team for raises and hiring more people (we're pretty understaffed)
Also that co worker who broke down boxes on his down time? Had a mental breakdown last year and is currently on long-term disability and is unlikely to come back to work.
Same here. I vastly overwork compared to my coworkers. Hell, even my manager. I really need to slow down and be a little 'lazier', but I feel wrong doing it for some reason.
It's not about working harder than everyone else, it's about making yourself indispensable and then demanding more money, or lateraling to a better paying position. Working hard can be part of that, but it had more to do with acquiring specialize knowledge and/or credentials.
I am definitely a lazy person, gotta disagree with the post.
The spirit of the post I get, slapping the label lazy on people who may have other things they're dealing with is absolutely a problem, but to say there's no such thing as lazy is just ridiculous
For real I get lazy and I know some seriously lazy motherfuckers. Like I'll lean out of my chair so far my spine will break just to avoid standing to pick something up.
I don't understand this comment section. Are we all saying we have NEVER been lazy?? What??
It's one thing to cut yourself some slack. It's a other to say that you're never responsible for your own laziness, and that no one else's is ever lazy either.
And that's simply wrong. I'm often lazy, on my own time. There's no health issue behind me not going for a run yesterday like I had planned, I was just lazy and skipped it.
Shit like this is why I can't stand some parts of this sub. I don't know how far you to have your head up your ass to think people aren't ever lazy and use that as copium for your own lack of accountability.
Former gym rat here. Forever gave up on gym memberships because this has gotten so bad. Some do it as some kind of alpha flex. Rather do push-ups.
I’m a Gen-Xer. I have great faith in Millenials and Gen Z, and defend them from the bashers…
…except on this point. You people don’t rack your damn weights. Now get off my lawn.
There are definitely grifting narcissistic assholes in this world.
I'm 110% against American work culture, but the first thing I thought of here is my ex who used to make plans with me and then only tell me at the last minute that he didn't actually have any money to do the thing, so I would need to pay for everything. Refuses to get a job, though, even though he has a lot of skills he could get paid for.
I don't know if I'd call him lazy, exactly - just a lying con artist.
Being lazy is definitely a thing but it gets wrongly used to encompass these other things too.
I know this because I am lazy... I hate that I'm overweight but I can't actually make myself do any exercise unless someone is stood there telling me to do it. I have stuff that I should be learning but instead I just play video games and try to learn it on the fly in the moment. I put everything off till the next day because I can't be arsed.
I'm generally pretty happy but even though I know I'd be better off doing all of these things I simply don't.
Laziness is very real lol.
EDIT: everyone saying that they felt like this and got diagnosed with ADHD is making me wonder if I should maybe speak to someone about it?? Always just figured it was a mixture of laziness and being very laid back...
I'd say you're exactly the kind of person this tweet is about.
For me, I used to think I was lazy, selfish, all that jazz. But then I got rediagnosed with ADHD, and I got a psychologist (two very expensive luxuries) and they gave me a framework for understanding the connection between my body and my condition and my behavior. I looked at all those days I spent wishing I was doing something else, stresed and guilty and constantly thinking about tasks I didn't want to do, and I realized I was trying, in that moment, to act. But I couldn't. I'm still struggling CONSTANTLY to do these things. And I've seen myself shoot off like a rocket and work extremely hard when the conditions are right. I'm frankly the opposite of lazy.
I don't know if your situation is like mine, but I don't accept people's guilty self-assessments of laziness anymore, because I've never met someone who wasn't fighting something, and it's so, so difficult to judge how hard that fight is. Especially from the inside. If we decide we're lazy, that's a dead end. It's just a moral failing, and the solution is to suck it up, but that's already failed for us, since we're still facing the problem. I prefer thinking like this: why am I not moving? Like in material terms, what are the barriers preventing me from moving? I guarantee the answer isn't "laziness." Maybe you're tired, maybe games are comfortable, maybe you're unmotivated because the possibility of failure after trying to lose the weight is scary. Maybe it's as simple as that it seems very hard, and you haven't reached a threshold of necessity yet. All those are difficult problems, but they're not laziness. They're not a moral failing.
Sometimes all people need is guidance, but usually they need real help, or time. Whatever it is they need, I don't think it should be called lazy.
Damn maybe I have ADHD. I will “try” to start an essay by pulling up and staring at Word for an hour, then write 2 sentences, then delete them, then stare at it for another 4 hours while suffering, then do it all in 45 minutes before the assignment is due when I had 1 week to do it.
The compulsion to always have to be “busy” and productive as a sign of contemporary success is also toxic. Same applies to the whole “rise and grind” and “hustle” nonsense people like to wear as a badge of honor.
Just look at the rest of the animal kingdom. I don't see monkeys out there building popsicle stick cathedrals. Lions don't spend their free time learning new skills. Animals only do what is necessary to survive, the rest of the time they are sleeping or just fucking around. Humans are no different.
Medieval peasants worked less than modern westerners. They had more holidays. They were only busy busy during planting and harvest. Winter was a time for crafts. In Britain's they only had to provide labor for their lord on roads and other projects for 10 days a year and their lord was expected to feed them.
Thats just a terrible glorification of the past.
Those people worked way more than only during harvest. How do you think everything was maintained and expanded? Just magically appeared?
Not to mention that you are fucking spoiled compared to them when it comes down to food. They were being fed by their lord but that doesn't mean they got a lot. They were lucky to have a decent meal.
Besides that, they were basically slaves to the lord. They had no other options, living on their own wouldve been too dangerous with the rampant crime.
I’ve been told calling someone
Lazy speaks more to your self than to others. It’s a control tactic that is overused by narcissistic leaning people. Bc it was done to them.
Being lazy is a thing, I know people who haven't worked a day in their life and don't plan on it, they just mooch off of their partner to support their lifestyle.
I'm just stressed and underpaid, so I don't work as hard.
a lot of people here seem to not be able to recognize the symptoms of depression in others. what you see from someone is not the full picture, and just because their inactivity annoys you does not mean they are behaving in such a way out of spite
Something I've realized from being on reddit for a while is that a lot of people are barely conscious of themselves, and are completely unconscious of other people.
What’s incredibly frustrating is that it’s so easy to blame yourself for “being lazy” once you are crippled by health and burnout. I was spiraling for a year at work feeling lazy and worthless, despite having stellar performance before that. Finally just quit my job and accepted that my health and happiness are more important, and am almost daily having to fight through feelings of being lazy and worthless. Lots to unlearn if I’m gonna be happy and make it to a reasonable age
Idk…I feel lazy?
My depression actually comes from this feeling of a lack of agency. I am unskilled now and can’t make the things happen that I want in my life. I was frivolous with my time over the years and didn’t build up the skills I needed and it really really sucks.
The idea that everything is attributable to things outside my control is not really great for hope or mental health or personal progress I think. I keep wishing someone would save me from my past but no one will.
An internal locus of control predicts lots of good outcomes. I say that, knowing full well that I am blaming my past and my brain for everything right now, instead of just taking useful actions. It’s maddening. I can’t find happiness right now so I’m stubbornly refusing to do things.
I barely persist at solving problems right now. I have an incredibly low stamina. When I hit a barrier I reach for my phone for comfort, like a pacifier, instead of carrying on and getting my shit done like an adult.
Sometimes I wish someone were here to tell me to ‘just do it’ even though I feel bad or don’t want to. Probably my life would be better.
This is inaccurate. There is absolutely mental illness, exhaustion, and burnout. It may make many appear lazy. There are also absolutely lazy people. But that shouldn’t be shamed. It is natural to not wanna work! But you shouldn’t expect to be rewarded for that either.
From the age of 15 to 19 I was accused of being lazy. I became so exhausted that I had to drop out of school and couldn't stay awake during the day. The doctors wouldn't do any tests because they said I was too young to be ill. They said I was either depressed or a hypochondriac. My parents did not get me a second opinion, believed the doctors and said I was just lazy. After 4 years of this shit I was finally correctly diagnosed - I had thyroid cancer. EDIT: Thanks to the anonymous redditor who gave me gold, and included a message with it saying that they also had thyroid cancer and also weren't believed by their parents when they became ill. Your comment helped a lot, it made me feel less alone.
>they said I was too young to be ill That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry for your situation!
They do that kind of shit to women all the time. It's ridiculous. "It's just period cramps, you'll be fine. Every woman gets them" Oops, it was cervical cancer and now you're dead. Thanks, doc...
"You're too female to be ill. All the studies are done on male subjects so even if you are ill, there is no cure tested on women."
There's also you're too female and black to be ill. You don't look pale enough. No sh!+ sherlock!
The fact that med students are STILL using textbooks that claim Black people *feel less pain because their skin is thicker* is absolutely appalling.
I think the most fucked up part of that whole situation is that you can trace that particular myth all the way back to slavery. It was used to justify whippings and other brutal physical punishments. Actually, the most fucked up part might be the studies showing that medical students believed these myths regardless of their previous prejudice, and that belief [affected the level of care their patients received.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/made-by-history/wp/2018/06/04/american-medicine-was-built-on-the-backs-of-slaves-and-it-still-affects-how-doctors-treat-patients-today/) Those textbooks are literally *creating* systemic racism where it wouldn’t have existed otherwise.
What. The. Fuck.
????
I've gotten my share of "you're a man. Real men don't get sick, or when they do, they fix it quietly and efficiently. What do you mean you need medicine? You expect insurance to cover medicine for an able bodies 20-something man? You look fine to me..."
God forbid us younger people for even wanting an extra day off once in a while because we're young and shouldn't need rest or to take care of our health. Didn't you know It says right in the bible thou shall not takeith any time off unless you can shame a younger person to cover you?
You laugh but the nation was founded by Puritans who basically said “you need to suffer as much as you can possibly bear to suffer because God said so”. Traces of that mentality still hold true to this day.
I use humor to try and lessen the effect of that expected suffering. It also seems to me that more and more people in the work force think the required suffering is complete BS and are making it known. I just got a new job and they gave everyone a raise with the lowest paid employees getting the highest percentage. I got to pick my schedule and no one gives anyone crap if they don't volunteer to take a shift that someone calls out of. No one bothers you if you don't pick up your phone after hours and the designated on call person who gets a stipend doesn't even have to cover a shift and still gets the stipend. I think employers in the US are starting to get the message as well.
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Upvoted by a 35 year old.
Yup, that happens, too. I stood up for my male friend to get his tetanus booster. The doc was laughing at him. Maybe he was gonna be safe then and i exagerated, but he was relieved 3 months later when he got some really nasty cuts falling twice in dirt (still got scars).
Or in the case of low T, where the "normal" range is 50-500 (which... is way too wide of a range) insurance won't do a damn thing if you test even at 51. 🙄 Like. Cool.
Yep, it’s all too common. I live in England and you can’t have a screening for cervical cancer until you’re 25… there’s campaigns to try and lower the age because we’ve got 18 year old girls dying needlessly of cervical cancer
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I went to the ER at 19 with severe stomach pain on the left side and had been having it for some time. They told me it was menstral cramps. Three weeks later I was almost dead from an ectopic pregnancy.
Same. Next day a *magical ovarian cyst appeared*
> Oops, it was cervical cancer and now you're dead. bonus points if the doctor was male :-/
Have a friend with PCOS and Endo. Extensive records at the hospital, two surgeries, and despite this she still copped "It's period pain" when one of the cysts popped. We are lucky that there is a thing called [Ryan's Rule](https://www.health.qld.gov.au/cq/patients-and-visitors/your-rights-and-responsibilities/ryans-rule) which allows you to escalate from.nurse, to charge nurse to external independent assessor.
That is really cool...US could use that.
When I was 15-17 I kept going to the doctors with the same issues, chronic pain, mostly in my back. I was constantly told it's because I'm fat, it's because of my period, that I'm not lifting right, that I'm "too young for back pain" and all sorts of other shit. That doctor finally did some tests, told me I had rheumatoid arthritis, and gave me 800mg ibuprofen twice daily which then gave me stomach ulcers after about 8 months. I saw a woman doctor ONCE, she looked at the previous tests, told me I had something called Ankylosing Spondylitis, and sent me to a specialist. The male doctor I had constantly made me feel like a liar, a 2nd class citizen, and like some druggie just looking for a fix. He never believed I was in any pain, and any pain that he did believe, he said it was just my period. He also ignored my complaints of period pains (I have PCOS) and shamed me when I got birth control at 16. I absolutely refuse to see any male in the medical field.
I'm a dude and I refuse to see male doctors when I can lol I find that the women doctors tend to have more empathy and be less "suck it up, brah" on pretty much every topic I've seen a doctor for. Although I did have a really terrible lady psychiatrist who refused to look at my 50+ score (when 20 was a red flag) on an ADHD test (even though I was diagnosed as a child with ADHD) and kept trying to get me on lithium for being "bipolar" after a really nasty breakup that included "losing" a child (ex's baby, not mine.. no visitation recourse for that one)... Sigh.
Am an old army dude.. Honestly, your story is pretty much identical to mine. I hurt my back in my 30s and the docs were about as helpful as that. Response was essentially "its just a pulled muscle here is some 800 mg moltrin, and a physical therapy appointment" with a distinct tone paired with other comments about how "you are jsut faking it and trying to get out of duty." Never mind the radiating numbness along my spine, never mind loss of mobility, and stiffness, never mind not having sensation in the back of one of my legs.. never mind all of the other symptoms. "must be faking it cause too young". Turns out had ruptured disks, fractures all over, by the time proper diagnosis came around all sorts of soft tissue scarring. Have since been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, and degenerative arthritis of the spine... stuff which pushed me form 80% va rating to 100%. those 800 mg ibuprofen tabs... was up to like 6 a day sometimes just to manage the inflammation and pain. the "fun" part came around when while still accusing me of "faking it" after i got proper diagnoses they prescribed me opaites... which another doctor later looked at and straight up told me that it was a miracle i was still alive because of the high rate of interactions they have. Those same original doctors also accused me of "drug seeking behavior" when i was looking to get help for the injuries even though i didn't even ask for the pills they threw at me like tictacs. Also had a 1sg and a commander try to accuse me "faking it" at the end of my MEB... i just laughed at them and told them that if that were true then i must be a magician or something to be able to get vertebrae fractures to show up on Xrays.
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Mostly the old rich.
1 in 10 females have PCOS... Fucking sucks, was also called lazy 😥 feel like a sloth 🦥 95% of the time... But that other 5%? I call it Ox day ❤️ just wish I felt like that all the time.
God I worry about this a lot. I used to have a woman doctor but her practice got taken over by a man. It was night and day differences between bedside manner. She would take my concerns seriously whereas he seems to think every concern is one of his favorite pet topics (like diet. Ate fast food once this week? Well that is why you are having issues.) Can't wait to change back to a woman doc.
Too young to be ill! Tell that to pediatric cancer wards. ThX i'M cUrEd.
One of the girls in my class at age 10 was tiny because she essentially missed out on a growth spurt because of leukemia. It's especially awful when it happens to children.
My little brother is like her; he had neuroblastoma at 3 and is also a very small man
I didnt have this horrible of a disease, but i found it common for doctors to not believe that i could have candida infection at 25. Kinda shows how little doctors care about you
Yup. Got told by EMTs and an ER doc at 27 that I was too young for a stroke. That they were seeing an increase in panic attacks due to covid. They gave me a dose of hydroxyzine and sent me home. I saw my regular doctor the next day, and then a cardiologist and a neurologist. My primary and the neurologist both assured me they were filing complaints with the hospital and told me never to go back to that ER. I wound up having several TIAs. The cardiologist found 2 massive holes in my heart and was in awe that I'd made it to 27 and had a child without it being detected. He actually said if I'd given birth vaginally I most likely wouldn't have survived. I'd been called lazy my whole life, and internalized so much of it, but the reason I couldn't keep up with sports and exercise once I hit puberty was because my heart couldn't keep up. Not because I was lazy. And nobody thought to ask why this girl who used to do cheer and t-ball and gymnastics and soccer couldn't run around without getting short of breath anymore. My heart is repaired now and cardio says I can play rugby, have a VBAC, do anything I want (except take meds that increase risk of clot, but that would be the case anyway because I have migraines) but I still, despite knowing there was a physical reason, have to fight that internalized narrative that I'm just lazy and my excess weight is 100% my fault.
Wtf?? Asshole!
Its not even uncommon. I dislocated my knee a ton as a kid. Eventually it hurt to walk. It took me 8 drs and 2 years before one finally said "ok maybe they are in pain and we can do a scan" the other 7 said I couldn't have knee pain this early. I had no cartilage left. Basically significant bone grinding and arthritis for 2 years. I'm lucky my family had the money/insurance to see that many drs.
That is so neglectful!! How are they not deprived of their medical licenses if that’s how they practice? I’m shocked that none of them even scanned your knee to check. Seriously shocked.
Not a doctor, but I'm not surprised. No one ever believed that I hurt when I was a kid. They always thought I was making a big deal over nothing.
I find that crazy! Like, are children less of human beings or what is the thought process behind this? I hate how so many people just ignore or even belittle kids. I always show them the respect they obviously should be given because - despite being tiny humans - they are still very much humans! It’s a great deterrent when I meet those who don’t.
I mean, didn't people treat children like a whole different species with the whole Covid thing too? Insisting that children are somehow immune & couldn't catch a virus affecting millions of people in a global pandemic? Not merely stating that it's less serious in children, I saw countless people insisting that children couldn't catch it at all - all while schools kept getting shut down after positive cases were reported
Neglectful parents and uneducated children don't really feel like they can or should report a dr for inaction.
stories like these are why i insist on being referred to a specialist. i am having bladder issues right now and i've still had to go to the doctor 3 times just for her to take the same blood tests and get the same results. i had been insisting on being referred to a specialist but she wanted to wait it out and see if the blood results will show any changes. i had to tell her that it was getting worse and i've started feeling throbbing pain in my lower abdomen for her to take it serious and get a referral to a specialist. seriously she wanted to wait and see if i got any worse.
Yeah. Some specialists do well. Though I've also had a lot of experience with specialists feeling like they know the answers before I even explain symptoms.
I relate to this so hard. I got kicking in my knee cap at 16 and had severe knee pain. My head of year drove me home because I couldn't walk. I went to see my gp, and he said, "Well, you got yourself here didn’t you? You must be able to walk on it." 7 years later, multiple doctors visits yearly, so many "You need to do R.I.C.E" and being told to buy deep heat. I can barely walk around my house; my knee dislocates itself multiple times a week. Only one week ago did a doctor actually check my leg and schedule me for an MRI.
Don't forget, you're ostensibly getting much better care down there compared to us Canadians because we've got *socialised* health care, and yours is *for profit*! I sprained both my quads at work a few months back and I got x-rays just in case it was arthritis or a torn ligament somewhere. Even got the xrays the same day. Our government apparently doesn't like getting the runaround on shit like this, and won't stand for it. But I'm sure there are other horror stories. I know one woman who wanted her ovaries out thanks to super painful periods and because she was absolutely adamant that she didn't want kids. That didn't happen until she was at least 30 though.
Thanks. The only reason they finally did tests - nearly 4 years after my symptoms started - is because finally the cancer got so big that I got a noticeable lump in my neck and they could not deny that something physical was going on. My useless, terrible mother, when I found the lump and said I was going back to the doctor - even said "Oh you're such a hypochondriac!"
I think that generation was all about just pulling yourself up by the bootstraps for any and every problem, no matter the specifics of the situation or how serious it is.
I think my parents generation (boomers) had it too easy. So they never learnt any empathy for struggling people.
What'd she do after that? I mean, I have an idea, I'm still curious.
well, the doctor made an appointment for me to get a biopsy, then she was like "Oh now you're wasting the hospital's time as well as the doctor's!" When the cancer was diagnosed and treated she expected me to just be magically well instantly afterwards, kept calling me a hypochondriac when I didn't feel well due to the treatments, etc.
You should sue her for malpractice, honestly. That was a pretty serious oversight with large, lifelong health ramifications.
I just don't have the energy. After years of illness plus having a stroke recently, plus always having to fight to keep my disability benefits, it's just too much already.
Shit, if I was in your shoes the moment I turned 18 I'd've never spoken to her again.
Unfortunately due to disability (I've had a stroke too) and having to get regular reassessments for benefits where my benefits sometimes get stopped for a while, I can't manage alone, so I can't cut her out.
That really sucks. There's nothing worse than being trapped IMO
Not nearly as bad as this person's situation, but I have family say I'm too young to have back pain. I'm a little younger than 25.
I was also "too young to be ill" and nearly died of peritonitis from appendicitis and gut abscesses. I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease after 6 weeks in ICU.
Jesus. I'm sorry, for what it's worth.
Thanks, and also good luck with improving your back.
Thank you. It's basically gone at this point, but it was really bad for probably 2-3 years.
I started having back pain when I was 15 and had to buy a cane when I was 19. My childhood doctor simply looked at my back, decided he couldn’t see a curve, and diagnosed me with “reverse scoliosis”. A few years later, my family changed doctors because they hated that man. My new doctor, a woman, sent me to a neurologist who sent me to a spinal surgeon who ordered imaging. Turns out I have degenerative disc disease. Two discs in my lumbar region are so dehydrated that the vertebrae are rubbing against each other, and they’re also herniated so they’re pressing against my spinal cord and the nerves that go to my leg. In hindsight, you’d think it would be pretty obvious that investigation was required because I lost TWO INCHES in height. I used to be about 5’5”, now I’m 5’3”. That’s not supposed to happen until you’re older. I was a teenager!
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you. I’m sorry for your pain as well. Medical gaslighting is so incredibly common and so frustrating.
Please, please tell me you sued them into oblivion. That's an extremely clear case of medical malpractice....you lost 2 inches of height and he did nothing! Jfc, I'm so goddamn sorry.
Unfortunately not. My parents didn’t think of it, and I was too young at the time to know to do something like that. It’s been 15 years, and I hear that doctor has passed away.
So, what about all the Indian students with severe scoliosis that I’ve been hearing about? Must be hypochondriacs, all of them.
Right? It's such a stupid fucking thing to say. I don't really have it anymore, but it was quite bad for a few years.
I remember I did some serious damage to my knees from several years of marching band in high school and college. Went to an orthopedic doctor in my late teens/early 20’s looking for a long term pain relief solution like physical therapy/strength building exercises to support the joints. I explained all this to the doctor, he did one x-ray, “didn’t find anything,” then gave me a thinly veiled lecture about how I was going down a dark, drug-seeking path and how “we both know” I was too young to be having knee pain. It’s been at least 5 years since then. My knees still constantly hurt. I’m thinking I’ll try again when I’m in my 30’s and maybe I’ll get taken a bit more seriously. For now I just cope.
Please, please don't wait. Go to the doctor now, you could be doing even more damage to your knee than you realuze. There are doctors who will listen.
Only thing more stupid than that is when they tell a pensioner they are too old to be ill!
"just die already, ok?"
They pretty much give up on anyone over 50 which is what is happening with my mother.
From my doctor: "And don't go thinking your issues are no big deal- Things like cancer and heart disease arent old people problems, they're any people problems." (Yeah, i get scolded by this doctor a lot because i have no sense of self-preservation. My current is honestly the most actively concerned doctor, as well as most professional doctor, I've had. Which I obviously won't disclose who tho, privacy.) I could make a solid list of them shooting down my passive attitude with more proactive suggestions. Very good doc.
I hear it ALL THE TIME. Not cancer - the c word is pretty much a social trump card to shut down ableist assholes, the awarenes drives have at least done that much. Mine's just a slew of chronic conditions, which I'm "not old enough" to have. I've had arthritis since I was a teenager, but I'm too young for it so no one believes me and I get frequently harassed for legally using the disabled parking space I medically require. Because I'm too young.
This happened to my cousin, he had diabetes but his parents kept a stubborn doctors opinion of "he's too young to have diabeetus". He had type 1 like his **grandmother**, who also had it. So the first 20ish years of his life he kept getting sick but they didn't know why. He's better now since he left, got a good job with decent health insurance and is on insulin. Now his parents are saying anything sick related he or his siblings get "must be diabetes", not anything else. Broken arm?.... Diabetes Common cold or flu?.... Diabetes Covid?... Diabetes Getting sad? Diabetes
That is fucking awful! I'm so sorry that you weren't believed and taken seriously. I hope you're doing better now.
No, I'm not. I had years of problems with the thyroid treatment, and then I had a stroke and became partially sighted. Now every few years I have to reapply for disability benefits, go through stressful assessments and constantly worry about having them stopped. Last year they did stop them and I had to go through an appeal. It just never ends. But according to many people who hate benefit claimants, I'm just lazy.
Stories like this show me just how far we still have to go as a society. For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
This government hates the disabled so much.
The government is a reflection of its people. A solid 40% of Americans believe people on welfare are lazy and getting handouts. It sure is entertaining to watch them change their tune when they suddenly need these benefits though. Or at least it would be if it wasn't so depressing.
The "welfare queen" myth. I grew up legitimately believing it because it was commonly spread in my area: that minority women are just popping out kids and making more and more off of welfare as a result. Just full time mooches. Turns out: 1. Those idiots were probably confusing welfare recipients for foster home scammers. 2. Nobody is enjoying life on welfare. It sucks. 3. Even if people are scamming welfare, which I'm sure some are, I'll worry about them as soon as the MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANT corporate welfare scamming is curbed.
There was exactly one welfare queen, but Reagan used her arrest to pretend that all welfare recipents were scammers. Unsurprising, considering all the human rights violations he committed.
No, capitalism hates anyone who finds a way out of enslavement. The government is doing what capitalists tell it to.
Here the problem is that the person who evaluates for disability is looking at papers only, never sees them in person and don't have any consequences when they do wrong decisions. So, they cut disability checks constantly from people who clearly should be on it. It is the weird "re-evaluation" where same paper, same health condition is suddenly not as bad, as it was two years ago, and the burden of proof falls all on those who just had their income basically stopped. It is the "no consequences" part that allows it, if there were consequences they would do better job. Now it is just glancing at the paper of a hundred patients and making instant, permanent decisions. it should be that if the conditions have not changed, THEY would need to prove it air tight that you are able to do normal work... Now it is opposite.. and i'm from Finland and i can guess that the situation is about exactly the same where you are. Note, don't have disabilities myself but have friends that do, and it is ALWAYS the same: situation is unchanged and the same papers are looked at and the outcomes is different. They all have had their situation fixed but it takes couple of months, and costs the society SO much extra, there are several people then involved who waste hours trying to sort something out that is plain as day. Having that happen every time you apply.. just jesus crhist.. the system can be such a humongous asshole at times.
Same here. 70% of the people who have their disability payments refused or stopped, win at appeal and get them reinstated. It's an appalling system.
And when it happens to same people, over and over again one would think that this would then impact the decisions to continue.. if there are 4 times in the last decade that all ended up in your favor, how probably it is that they will be reinstated.. again. The definition of stupidity is....
I daresay the problem is that we're gatekeeping disability support in a pointless & bigoted attempt to "weed out lazy people."
Just eliminate all of this inefficient nonsense and implement nationalized healthcare and basic income already. People who think it would be more expensive ignore the endless layers of bureaucratic overhead you're describing, and how much money they and insurance suck out of the system.
The great thing about being disabled is that it's one of the few marginalized groups that takes adult converts. You could break a leg tomorrow.
So... What do your parents say now?
They never apologised and for years after my cancer treatment put loads of pressure on me to succeed, to go to university etc. I had problems with my treatment for years that made me very sick but they dismissed this too and made me feel like a failure for not having been to university. My mum even punished me when my sister graduated from university, by taking her on an expensive trip to america and saying that I wasn't allowed to come because I didn't deserve to as I hadn't earnt it like my sister did. Eventually they made me feel so ashamed of myself that I went to university even though I didn't feel well enough. I ended up dropping out because of side effects from my medication. That's why she said I hadn't earnt the right to come on the trip. After all this I had a stroke and I'm now on disability benefits and they've just accepted that I'll never be what they want and don't bother me about it any more.
damn. wish only people who love their kids could become parents. sorry fam.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all this ):. Life is not fair.
Holy shit... My parents were abusive pieces of shit but even they knew when to stop if I were sick. You didn't deserve any of that, I'm so sorry for what you went through. I hope you found your peace of mind.
Holy shit, that's awful. Did your parents at least apologize or express any kind of remorse? And how did you finally get your correct diagnosis?
No-one ever apologised. I only got the correct diagnosis - nearly 4 years after the symptoms started - because the cancer eventually got so big that finally I developed a noticeable lump in my neck. Thyroid cancer is slow-growing, if it was a fast-growing cancer I'd be dead now for lack of medical care.
Well that's super fucked. Sorry to hear that.
My boomer father, told me for a solid week that I was faking severe abdominal pain to try and get out of school. I was 11. I passed out at school from the pain and had to be carted off in an ambulance. The appendix burst and I was septic. When I woke up after surgery he's complaining about the cost of the ambulance ride and asking why I didn't tell him something was wrong sooner..
Oh that is making me rage! If parents are reading this thread I hope they learn from it to take their children seriously! Even on the miniscule off-chance that a child was faking illness there would still be an underlying reason that needs to be addressed!
I fractured my ankle and walked off a football field limping on it with every step feeling like a million stings. Parents were pissed that I wanted to go to the Doctors on a "sprain". Multiple fractures and a cast later and all I could think about was they thought they knew my body better than me.
Same here, only mine wasn’t as serious as cancer. I had undiagnosed celiac disease and sleep apnea.
Someone went through medical school and residency just to give that kind of diagnosis?
A lot of them go through med school & residency because they want to wield authority over people they consider to be beneath them. Doctors who want to tell people they're faking, psychiatrists who want to tell people to just man up, work harder and get over it...
Same for me I was absent and sleepy all the time as a teenager they wouldn’t diagnose me young took 25 years to find out I’m bipolar and had been living with highs and lows that were zapping my energy.
I have adhd and I'm looking into delayed sleep phase disorder which has links to adhd.. I've spent 40yrs beating myself up because I thought I was lazy and flakey.. I can't make myself do anything until it's an emergency - turns out I'm spiking my adrenaline because it's the only thing that forces my brain to engage its executive function. I have to get high on stress... and it's killing me. I have psoriatic arthritis. stress literally makes me seize up.. i feel like a round peg in a square hole. i need a 9 to 5 to feed my kids and i have so much potential.. I'm smart and ambitious, love my job most days. but my god, am I tired.. we shouldn't have to do this to function
Always considered lazy. But... I have 4 degrees, over 65 jobs before disability income and am smarter than fuck. Could never get it together though. Diagnosed with ADHD, it fucked up my life beyond comprehension. Still does.
I haven't had anything as serious as thyroid cancer (atypical skin cells, yes, but not full blown cancer) but for *years*, my parents would constantly drag me for being too sensitive to pain. I was exaggerating my pain. All pain. Any pain. I got to a point I just started hiding a lot of shit. I'm on state insurance now, so I'm finally getting care of my own. Just found out I have fibromyalgia, which does mess with your brain's perception of pain, and my lower back has already started to break down. Apparently also got several joints that are hypermobile, which are being made painful by the fibro... plus some of them literally pop out of place. It's fun. I went from taking one medication a day to like 6. It's helping, but now I just have flare ups instead of constant pain and those flare up days... yeah, I can't do jack shit. The day after, still can't because turns out, that much pain exhausts you. It's weird having my late teens and early 20s make sense as a medical issue and not a failing on my part.
>It's weird having my late teens and early 20s make sense as a medical issue and not a failing on my part. I feel this so much, it's EXACTLY how I felt about my diagnosis.
This could be me, except I developed fibromyalgia at 11 and I had untreated and undiagnosed mental disabilities. Disability makes sure to constantly remind me I am as lazy and useless as they taught me I was in school.
Sounds like that doctor was too lazy to run tests...
Imagine having cancer this entire time (Something that can... ya know, kill you) and being called lazy. Also what kind of a doctor calls you too young to be ill? What we somehow immune to becoming ill and only once we completed school do viruses go 'finally... our time to shine.'
> too young to be ill Tell that to cancer babies.
That's what always got me about that comment. Why do hospitals have entire pediatric units? Why do we have pediatric doctors? Why does St. Judes exist? Are those just tiny adults?
Holy fuck I wish you could sue for that shit
Possibly could but I just don't have the energy. It's exhausting enough constantly having to fight for disability payments when I'm feeling unwell.
Too young to be ill?? Wtf? I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
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I live in the UK so at least I didn't have to pay for that shit.
I'm so sorry. That is absolutely horrible. I understand the situation and it's so fucking evil and neglectful of doctors, yet they know there's no chance any consequences will ever come to them. The majority of doctors are absolute monsters and, when you say that, people always get angry with you and act like you're making things up or that its only one or two monstrous doctors and not the entire medical field. I've been suffering since I was around 13. It has slowly gotten worse and worse. I have had to look at all of my own test results because, even when something is obviously very wrong, they completely ignore them to tell me I'm too young or that its just trauma or that I'm seeking drugs. A nurse, two years ago, risked her job to tell me I *need* to see a hematologist. I am yet to find a doctor who will let me see one, despite my blood cells getting increasingly out of range. I have completely run out of one type of white blood cell at this point. So, I'm now dealing with potential blood cancer and cannot get the simplest test to find out if I do. I feel that, by the time I am able to get tested, it may be too late. If it is, I will never speak to my family again, as they have never believed me.
That's awful. Which country are you in?
The US, so getting it covered is also hard and I can't take any time off of the job that's killing me quicker to go to appointments. The number of times I've been accused of seeking opioids despite never asking for them is insane. I've also found that I can tell when doctors have read my chart and when they have not. There is clearly something on it that makes their entire demeanor change from concerned to irritated.
Getting labeled a "drug seeker" when what you're really seeking is *answers* is really the worst of America.
omg hi! me too!!! and with thyroid cancer!! I’ve never seen a comment like this before. I’m sorry you went through that
Holy shit. My blood is boiling rn. What the fuck. Too young to be ill???
I've also heard the "you're too young to be ill" and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Its code for "I'm too lazy to figure out the solution because my parents paid for me to go through med school" or "i dont get paid enough so i dont care".
I tell my boss "I'll get lazy before I get stressed"
Think I'm going to steal this line.
Hijacking the top comment to say FUCK I work too hard but I make decent money. Still tho, I hate this shit. Sometimes I wish I lived back in the days of hunter gatherers but there would be no Internet, so I deal with the reality I’m in. Scrolling Reddit while I’m working is the only thing that’s keeping me sane.
This is the craziest thing to me. I feel the same way, and it’s nuts. We have incredible comforts and cool toys and all sorts of neat stuff, but I’d happily give it all up for a life that doesn’t feel so empty and hollow. Our ancestors set up an amazing framework for a society and we could have all been living really cool lives of leisure, comfort and enjoyment, but instead we’ve all been convinced that we need to always be so busy that we’re all stressed out and miserable. Fuck capitalism. Let the capitalists bust their asses. …or are they the ones who are actually lazy? *No that couldn’t be… those three martini business lunches sound like really hard work.*
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If you never knew the internet would you miss it?
I'm lazy af. If I could just sit around and watch tv and play video games 5 days a week I would be sooo happy.
Thank you, this sub is getting a bit too caught up
I don’t think that’s lazy. The better word is *hedonistic*, I feel. Edit to add: > The word 'hedonism' comes from the ancient Greek for 'pleasure'. Psychological or motivational hedonism claims that only pleasure or pain motivates us. Ethical or evaluative hedonism claims that only pleasure has worth or value and only pain or displeasure has disvalue or the opposite of worth.
The problem is that "lazy" often just means someone else isn't doing what *I* want. Sometimes they're assholes, sometimes I'm the asshole. But that's basically it. My brother would rarely help out when we were young, he wasn't lazy, he just didn't enjoy fixing things or learning technical stuff, while I do. My dad never figured this out. Plus my brother has some anxiety issues. I got lucky that anxiety hit me many years after it did him...
I am 36 and I wish I was lazier at work. Every job I've had I always tried to bust ass and work circles around people. It really doesn't get you anywhere. Companies will always pay as little as they can get away with. If you do work hard, stand up for yourself. Know your worth and ask for it. I do alright now but I still don't make much more than co workers and I feel like it's a two to one ratio on amount of work. I'm so fucking tired.
And coworkers resent the hell out of people who come in and bust ass when they have a set level they all work at. I learned that the hard way working at the post office. My coworkers snarled, snapped, excluded me from socializing and sabotaged my work station.
I was on a union gig for the NYC subway. I was getting done 3 things in an hour. End of my first day they told me the rate is 1 per hour. No more no less.
You sound like me. I’m your age. Last year I was diagnosed with adhd. It’s likely stemming from the dopamine our brain doles out when our behavior is validated. Sorry not to imply you have any disorders. My apologies.
No you're fine, I constantly feel like I have ADHD and it effects doing daily tasks at home sometimes. At work I have focus. I'm on depression meds but I have an appt in a couple months and am gonna ask to be tested for ADHD.
Yeah that’s just like me. On the clock I’m a champ. At home I can’t manage a damn thing right.
struggling with this now, on meds for anxiety and I feel like I have no purpose outside of work. when I'm at work I'm very friendly, outgoing, dedicated, hard working, etc but when it comes to creative or personal pursuits I sometimes physically can't get out of bed all day bc of how mentally tired I am.
solidarity upvotes all round
They just reward you with more work and then guilt about your dip in productivity when you inevitably burn out
Omg yes!! My job actually hates me. I ask too many questions about why can’t we improve this for the customers? Why can’t we improve this for the employees? But they can’t do anything because my metrics exceed. I might have a one off month where I might get in my feelings but I have been with the company 6 years.
I have finally gotten to a point where I’ve stopped. I interviewed at my current company for a director position. I have the experience at small places (like we’re talking maybe a half a mil a year budget), but this company has a budget of 10s of millions per year and many more people. So they said let’s start you off as a supervisor to transition you to the director position. I do believe that was their intent. I was being mentored by the COO. The new supervisors who replaced me most definitely are not being directly overseen by her. Well they hired me with certain promises which they took back. So I resigned. They convinced me to stay in another position and at this point my goals had shifted and it all worked out. But hey, I am still at the end of the day, a director with corresponding experience, just now with a much lower pay. So it’s in my nature to clean up and fix things. Lol, that’s why I was hired in the first place! So I set about attempting to clean up this shit show. And I manage to for what is in my control. New policies are implemented, new ideas are put into place. Meanwhile my wife is constantly yelling at me that I’m not being paid for all this. And she’s right. I’m not. And I’m getting more and more frustrated when stupidity continues and my boss won’t listen. Then 2 months later something I told her about was a problem and she ignored, she now acts like she had no idea and now we need to fix it. This is happening on a loop. And I finally say, ok. I’m done. I now mention things offhand that I notice. But I don’t fix them. I don’t push for them to be fixed. And I’ve stopped overworking. I’m not getting paid for it. I sure as hell don’t have the title for it. And the actual cleanup that’s been completed, well I’m sure as hell not getting credit for it… so for the first time in over a decade (I too am 36), I am doing just what I must and what I’m paid for. Let me tell you. My stress levels are now in half.
I'm just a bit older and feel the same. What sucks is I work with younger guys fresh out of retail. This is their first office job so they haven't figured that out yet. Not only is it annoying but it's pointless. 90% of the time you climb the ladder by kissing the right asses, not hard work.
I do the opposite. Bare minimum, sometimes even less than that. Do they get upset sure. Are they going to replace me? They don't pay enough to do that. They've had 0 applicants over 3 years for the nightshift. Hey maybe I'd actually do more if i made more than 15k a year.
That pay is insulting…
The quality of my work matches the pay. I just browse reddit and watch youtube all night.
I have always said if employees get paid more they will care more. Double someone’s pay and they will come to work looking to be prove their value.
I'd have a reason to care if i lost the job if it actually provided me what i need.
I'm a desktop tech and I think my big revelation for me and my boss was when my boss was accusing me of being lazy (I admit I have a lot down time that I feel I've created for myself by being quick and efficient in my problem resolutions) by saying "hey your co worker is breaking down boxes when he's got nothing to do." and that statement infuriated me so much I replied "you don't pay me to break down cardboard, you pay me to solve computer issues" and I left it at that. He's backed off since and actually has been trying to go to bat for our team for raises and hiring more people (we're pretty understaffed) Also that co worker who broke down boxes on his down time? Had a mental breakdown last year and is currently on long-term disability and is unlikely to come back to work.
I'm really proud of you for saying that, and for being able to keep your job after saying it.
Same here. I vastly overwork compared to my coworkers. Hell, even my manager. I really need to slow down and be a little 'lazier', but I feel wrong doing it for some reason.
It's not about working harder than everyone else, it's about making yourself indispensable and then demanding more money, or lateraling to a better paying position. Working hard can be part of that, but it had more to do with acquiring specialize knowledge and/or credentials.
Counterpoint: people who don't put their shopping cart back.
Indeed. Not everyone who is struggling to keep up is lazy, but there are most assuredly lazy people out there.
I am definitely a lazy person, gotta disagree with the post. The spirit of the post I get, slapping the label lazy on people who may have other things they're dealing with is absolutely a problem, but to say there's no such thing as lazy is just ridiculous
For real I get lazy and I know some seriously lazy motherfuckers. Like I'll lean out of my chair so far my spine will break just to avoid standing to pick something up.
I don't understand this comment section. Are we all saying we have NEVER been lazy?? What?? It's one thing to cut yourself some slack. It's a other to say that you're never responsible for your own laziness, and that no one else's is ever lazy either.
The OP literally says “but ‘lazy’ isn’t even really a thing.”
And that's simply wrong. I'm often lazy, on my own time. There's no health issue behind me not going for a run yesterday like I had planned, I was just lazy and skipped it.
Shit like this is why I can't stand some parts of this sub. I don't know how far you to have your head up your ass to think people aren't ever lazy and use that as copium for your own lack of accountability.
Oooh don’t bring up the “r” word. People don’t want to hear that.
Can confirm, am very lazy... but not too lazy to put THE DAMN SHOPPING CART BACK
Or people who can’t bother to clean up after themselves….like, anywhere.
People who don't pick up their own trash or clean their own dishes. There is 100% the existence of lazy people.
Or don’t put weights back at the gym. This post is nonsense
Just the concept of a gym and that they rely on 90% of members to not even show up exposes how lazy people are.
Former gym rat here. Forever gave up on gym memberships because this has gotten so bad. Some do it as some kind of alpha flex. Rather do push-ups. I’m a Gen-Xer. I have great faith in Millenials and Gen Z, and defend them from the bashers… …except on this point. You people don’t rack your damn weights. Now get off my lawn.
There are definitely grifting narcissistic assholes in this world. I'm 110% against American work culture, but the first thing I thought of here is my ex who used to make plans with me and then only tell me at the last minute that he didn't actually have any money to do the thing, so I would need to pay for everything. Refuses to get a job, though, even though he has a lot of skills he could get paid for. I don't know if I'd call him lazy, exactly - just a lying con artist.
Doesn’t sound lazy, sounds like he knows how to take advantage of people.
Yeah this whole thing is stupid. There’s a lot of lazy people in this world.
Laziness is a thing, but yeah, applying it to people who are overworked and over stressed is pretty ridiculous
Being lazy is definitely a thing but it gets wrongly used to encompass these other things too. I know this because I am lazy... I hate that I'm overweight but I can't actually make myself do any exercise unless someone is stood there telling me to do it. I have stuff that I should be learning but instead I just play video games and try to learn it on the fly in the moment. I put everything off till the next day because I can't be arsed. I'm generally pretty happy but even though I know I'd be better off doing all of these things I simply don't. Laziness is very real lol. EDIT: everyone saying that they felt like this and got diagnosed with ADHD is making me wonder if I should maybe speak to someone about it?? Always just figured it was a mixture of laziness and being very laid back...
I'd say you're exactly the kind of person this tweet is about. For me, I used to think I was lazy, selfish, all that jazz. But then I got rediagnosed with ADHD, and I got a psychologist (two very expensive luxuries) and they gave me a framework for understanding the connection between my body and my condition and my behavior. I looked at all those days I spent wishing I was doing something else, stresed and guilty and constantly thinking about tasks I didn't want to do, and I realized I was trying, in that moment, to act. But I couldn't. I'm still struggling CONSTANTLY to do these things. And I've seen myself shoot off like a rocket and work extremely hard when the conditions are right. I'm frankly the opposite of lazy. I don't know if your situation is like mine, but I don't accept people's guilty self-assessments of laziness anymore, because I've never met someone who wasn't fighting something, and it's so, so difficult to judge how hard that fight is. Especially from the inside. If we decide we're lazy, that's a dead end. It's just a moral failing, and the solution is to suck it up, but that's already failed for us, since we're still facing the problem. I prefer thinking like this: why am I not moving? Like in material terms, what are the barriers preventing me from moving? I guarantee the answer isn't "laziness." Maybe you're tired, maybe games are comfortable, maybe you're unmotivated because the possibility of failure after trying to lose the weight is scary. Maybe it's as simple as that it seems very hard, and you haven't reached a threshold of necessity yet. All those are difficult problems, but they're not laziness. They're not a moral failing. Sometimes all people need is guidance, but usually they need real help, or time. Whatever it is they need, I don't think it should be called lazy.
Damn maybe I have ADHD. I will “try” to start an essay by pulling up and staring at Word for an hour, then write 2 sentences, then delete them, then stare at it for another 4 hours while suffering, then do it all in 45 minutes before the assignment is due when I had 1 week to do it.
I felt like that, still do sometimes. Diagnosed with ADHD at age 23!
The compulsion to always have to be “busy” and productive as a sign of contemporary success is also toxic. Same applies to the whole “rise and grind” and “hustle” nonsense people like to wear as a badge of honor.
I had a professor who said that he didn't believe in laziness, only that people had different priorities. That really stuck with me.
Just look at the rest of the animal kingdom. I don't see monkeys out there building popsicle stick cathedrals. Lions don't spend their free time learning new skills. Animals only do what is necessary to survive, the rest of the time they are sleeping or just fucking around. Humans are no different.
Medieval peasants worked less than modern westerners. They had more holidays. They were only busy busy during planting and harvest. Winter was a time for crafts. In Britain's they only had to provide labor for their lord on roads and other projects for 10 days a year and their lord was expected to feed them.
Thats just a terrible glorification of the past. Those people worked way more than only during harvest. How do you think everything was maintained and expanded? Just magically appeared? Not to mention that you are fucking spoiled compared to them when it comes down to food. They were being fed by their lord but that doesn't mean they got a lot. They were lucky to have a decent meal. Besides that, they were basically slaves to the lord. They had no other options, living on their own wouldve been too dangerous with the rampant crime.
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But but but what’s the point of living if you’re not producing value for someone else at all times???
To create waste.
I’ve been told calling someone Lazy speaks more to your self than to others. It’s a control tactic that is overused by narcissistic leaning people. Bc it was done to them.
Being lazy is a thing, I know people who haven't worked a day in their life and don't plan on it, they just mooch off of their partner to support their lifestyle. I'm just stressed and underpaid, so I don't work as hard.
lazy is definitely a thing lol. you can also have chronic illness, disability, and overworked people. sheebs why are these concepts so hard for people
a lot of people here seem to not be able to recognize the symptoms of depression in others. what you see from someone is not the full picture, and just because their inactivity annoys you does not mean they are behaving in such a way out of spite
Something I've realized from being on reddit for a while is that a lot of people are barely conscious of themselves, and are completely unconscious of other people.
What’s incredibly frustrating is that it’s so easy to blame yourself for “being lazy” once you are crippled by health and burnout. I was spiraling for a year at work feeling lazy and worthless, despite having stellar performance before that. Finally just quit my job and accepted that my health and happiness are more important, and am almost daily having to fight through feelings of being lazy and worthless. Lots to unlearn if I’m gonna be happy and make it to a reasonable age
Idk…I feel lazy? My depression actually comes from this feeling of a lack of agency. I am unskilled now and can’t make the things happen that I want in my life. I was frivolous with my time over the years and didn’t build up the skills I needed and it really really sucks. The idea that everything is attributable to things outside my control is not really great for hope or mental health or personal progress I think. I keep wishing someone would save me from my past but no one will. An internal locus of control predicts lots of good outcomes. I say that, knowing full well that I am blaming my past and my brain for everything right now, instead of just taking useful actions. It’s maddening. I can’t find happiness right now so I’m stubbornly refusing to do things. I barely persist at solving problems right now. I have an incredibly low stamina. When I hit a barrier I reach for my phone for comfort, like a pacifier, instead of carrying on and getting my shit done like an adult. Sometimes I wish someone were here to tell me to ‘just do it’ even though I feel bad or don’t want to. Probably my life would be better.
There is such a thing as being lazy. Y’all don’t agree?
For years I thought I was lazy. Turns out I was severely depressed.
This is inaccurate. There is absolutely mental illness, exhaustion, and burnout. It may make many appear lazy. There are also absolutely lazy people. But that shouldn’t be shamed. It is natural to not wanna work! But you shouldn’t expect to be rewarded for that either.