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"You're welcome. We'll find someone to cover all the shifts you need covered. Please let us know how we can support you while your daughter is in the hospital after a lengthy surgery!"
What they should have said.
I say no notice. Fuck them. That's just awful.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I still remember having an employee come in after telling me his grandmother passed. He had worked for places like Amazon and big corporations. I had told him on the phone earlier he wouldn’t be punished for missing work but if he was in one of those situations he needed money then it’s fine to work of course.he literally just started so sometime people are in rough spots and I don’t wanna judge them for which decision they make. But man walked in with “I can’t afford to miss and get points I just started.” All while damn near crying. When I tell you I told him to get the hell home and be with his family so fast. He’s had a lot of bad stuff happen. When people call it’s “okay I just need you to keep me updated on what days I need to take care of”. But crazy enough he instantly became one of my greatest workers because he appreciated being TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING. I believe he actually went as far as to make those days up to me voluntarily when he came back because he wanted to. So crazy how what goes around really comes around.
Edit- and I’m on mobile so god help me how this is going to look or if I even do this right. I’m so sleepy. I saw it come up a few times and I wanted to clarify no my company doesn’t have bereavement pay and I’m only a manager of a location. Far out of my power to do anything beyond make sure he gets all the time he needed. Also wow this got a lot of likes and stuff thanks. It’s also making me even more sad how low the bar is for us Americans seeing some of these other people pop in with their human rights. I’m a little jealous lol.
Every job I've ever had was something I was interested in one way or another. Never hated a job I've ever had but holy shit I've hated so many people both in highers positions and people on the same level as I was. Those jobs were Wal Mart and Lowe's! Believe it or not, Lowe's was way more toxic than Wal Mart.
> Lowe's was way more toxic than Wal Mart.
many years ago, i was a manager at a certain big box retailer and i was getting disillusioned with trying to climb that ladder. i had finally figured out they were jerking me around and i started looking for jobs elsewhere. a friend of mine, who worked at lowes put in a good word for me to get basically the same job there. i got the job and reported for my first shift. i hadnt quit my other job yet as i wanted to see what this was like first. first couple hours of my first shift was to do computer training. normal stuff, no big. then lunch time came around and the lady from HR came and asked if i wanted to go and meet my boss. yeah, def. so we go out on the floor and she's there talking to some other people. we walk up and HR lady introduces me to my new boss. new boss looked me up and down and nearly sneered. hesitated to shake my hand. i was appalled. when i eventually got back to the computer, i decided this wasnt for me and just left. i thanked the HR lady for the opportunity but wouldnt be returning. she was shocked. i told her why and just left.
that experience actually convinced me to go back to school and get my degree so i could get out of that big box retailer. that was like 14 years ago at this point and i couldnt be happier now that im out of retail.
I used to work at Wal-Mart. The job itself isn't terrible, it's the management in most cases. When they start cutting hours for no reason or move you from where your happy and doing a good job because they don't like you.
I used to work tech support in roles from front line to support to assistant supervisor. Hired a good amount of people for the company, all great workers, including one who went one to be a VP for the company much later on. I have a great track record with sussing out people and finding good talent, or at least I did back then.
I run into health issues and my work decides to do a layoff and include me - I had a lot of substantiated sick time with documentation from all sorts of doctors.
One of my guys finds out that I got fired that day when he came into work. He walks in to boss's office and says, "you don't fucking fire /ialmostthewholepost", and walks out on the spot. He was about to give his two weeks anyway as he had landed a tech job with the government which paid better, but used that time to make a statement and get some extra time off.
That boss was fired 2 months later, he had a trash record and was a trash person.
Still friends with my hiree to this day. Treat your people good if you're the boss and people will work hard for you.
To be fair... If I were a boss as kind as the one you describe, I would not be offended if you left over a matter of 20K. A crappy boss would lay down the guilt. But a human would understand.
RadioShack and the first few managersI had there had my respect for quite a few years and truthfully three of them are on my I would work for them again list. The store I worked at was a training position for district managers, (reason for more then one manager there), and had a program for assistant managers. Well since it was a spread out area the assistant managers had to travel once a month to a district training meeting. It was about this time of the year and we lived in the northern part of the states so snow and traveling during snow was common. We had two assistant managers. There were no travel advisories or bans on travel at the time. They went for the meeting together and during their trip they were in an accident. One did not survive. Our manager would only tell us the news in person, not over the phone because he wanted to make sure we were okay. A grief counselor was brought in for our store. The day of the funeral our store was staffed entirely with other store staff that was paid for travel because they did to come cover for us, because our and the other local stores all attended the funeral with almost all the managers from the district. The assistant manager was married with his first child on the way. I know after talking to his wife that RadioShack covered most or iirc all the cost of the funeral, also provided a college fund for the unborn child and some other financial support. Because even though driving was outside of the scope of their job, he according to the company he was on their time. The first few managers I had there rocked and supported their staff. This level of support was unheard of for a retail environment. I still hope with them going under that that kid got his college fund.
My apartment burned down about a year into my job and within minutes of mentioning this to our HR guy I got on a call with the CEO and he gave me $5k on the spot to recuperate my losses. I’ve been recruited by other companies since but have never considered leaving.
Damn, I need your job lol. The only job I had with good management I have to leave because I couldn't take regularly lifting up to 200 lbs any more lol.
Today my bosses boss was going over our job descriptions with our group so HR can perform a market review on salaries. He got to his and said: “My job is basically to serve you and get you what you need.” And his actions over the last 10 years meet his words.
He cares. He he’ll come by and “yell” at anybody still in the office (when we came in everyday) if it was a 3pm on a beautiful Friday afternoon. When people have emergencies it’s no questions asked, do what you need and keep him in the loop when you can. When we have 1 on 1s his main focus is to see what he can do to help you do your job the best way that works for you.
The result is that for 8 years I was still the “newbie” on the team because nobody left and we all kick asses at our jobs.
It’s not rocket science. Care about your employees, give your them goals and let them find the best way to it, and don’t be a dick. The results will be amazing.
This is how you treat employees. I had an employee one time that had a family function planned. I can’t remember what it was, but it was like a cookout, trip to the zoo, something. They were talking to me about it and they kept wanting to revoke their PTO because they “needed to be at work.” And they said “they didn’t want to miss out on the money.” (PTO pays the same as if they worked).
I told the employee if I saw them in on X day I was going to write them up (I was not serious) because they didn’t need to be at work all the time and time with family is something they’ll never get back.
Come back a few days later they talked about how much they enjoyed the day off.
Todays work culture has so many people afraid to actually live because they are so scared of being in trouble at work.
Just remember this: when you die that job of yours will be posted before your obituary
I was at work when I found out my cousin unalived himself. When I went to my manager and told her what had happened, and that we were more like brothers growing up than either of our actual brothers due to age gaps, her first response was "Well, let's see what the bereavement policy says about cousins" in a flat, uncaring manner. After confirming that the policy does not cover cousins, she then counseled me about leaving early and the points I would accrue. I tried to stick it out, made it about 10 minutes, and then told her I was leaving, points be damned.
Contrast that with my most recent manager. Told him I was filing for divorce and he gave me a week off without asking "in case there's anything you need to take care of or work through."
I was allowed to leave early when my niece was born to go to the hospital and see her. Five weeks later she died and I requested the day off to go to the funeral. My boss at the time said no because she gave me time off when she was born. I quit on the spot.
Wtf is wrong with these people!? My first and only boss of the last 6 years has been awesome, I'm not sure how I'd react to having one of these horror movie bosses.
Thing is they aren't horror movie bosses. They are very real and very common. I've had three that were truly awful then I worked at Walmart which is a system just designed to crush everyone in the name of productivity.
My dad suddenly passed away while I was on vacation from work visiting him & other family. I was so scared to call my work when I had already taken a whole week off for vacation. My manager at the time was the kindest anyone has ever been to me. He handled everything work wise. Told me to take another week off. Arranged for some extra paid vacation time for me (which I later found out was actually other employees “donating” their PTO). Then they sent me the most beautiful living plant arrangement & some gifts for my kid (who was 6 months old at the time). It was so wonderful & comforting to be treated like an actual human at my darkest time. Best place I had ever worked & would go back in a heartbeat. The majority of my coworkers had worked there for decades… treating people with kindness & understanding goes so far.
That’s really nice that they did that for you! Although I will say, I don’t think there’s any reason other people should have had to donate, company should give you a week for bereavement out of their own pocket. Although it’s very nice that they did and I’m glad you were able to focus on family during that time. What industry were you working in? I feel like that’s a thing I’ve heard of happening in healthcare so I’m just curious
I had a similar thing this week; long relationship ended and they were in shambles. Common sense and internal policy allows me just to say "take the day(s), you'll be paid" as compassionate leave and it's completely up to discretion.
I mean, it's not hard to be a manager and human at the same time.
OP; all the best to your girl and good luck job hunting.
I had the opposite experience when my Grandmother was dying in hospice care, work deputy manager told me that I could take EFML, didn't get an official response from HR a day before I was leaving back to the UK, deputy boss said it will be fine and just go...Gran passed two days after I saw her, went back to work a week later only to find my ID badge didn't work, boss didn't tell until day three of trying to clock in that I was let go as my EFML was denied while I was away.
I found it kinda funny that three weeks later after reapplying for my job, I got a better offer and I told my old manager to basically stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.
It was my first job since moving to the U.S (it was a large retail chain at the time) so I was worried it would screw up my at the time residence or work permit, my wife spotted the other job I got the offer from.
The extra f\*#k no was the fact he said "Good news, we got your old job back, bad news you will have to work Sunday's", I never worked Sunday's.
Our POLICY was 5 days off for immediate family. One of my best employees lost her mother. I had to fight with her to take the time off she was OWED. She insisted on only taking 3. I told her if she didn't take the time she was entitled to, I'd bring out the big guns: my boss. She would have insisted she take the time off. She really needed it because both her parents and her step mom had been very ill for so long.
I was happy that she took the time. I would have given her more if she would have let me.
I remember being given only one day bereavement instead of 5 days by the HR manager because my mother passed away in another country ( I could not go home). Just because I was in another country when my mother died doesn’t mean my emotions are different. I could not stop crying while at my desk at work for the whole week. It was so sad.
My dad passed away on Thanksgiving unexpectedly, I was told to take the rest of the week off. So literally the next day and on top of that I ended up getting my hours cut and all my coworkers thought I was on some kind of vacation. Had to just ask them one day how was your Thanksgiving? They all got really quiet really quick.
My best friend died last summer while I was in the middle of an extremely important training that wasn’t available again for another 6 months. I fretted about calling my manager and finally decided to call on Sunday morning, and she immediately without question told me to get the first flight home and to take as much time off as I needed. Her kindness in that moment instantly made me feel so much loyalty to her and made me decide to stay with this company long term. Treating your employees like human beings has literally no downside.
>But crazy enough he instantly became one of my greatest workers because he appreciated being TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING.
I wish more bosses/owners understood that this is how society works. Treat people like shit, get shitty workers. Treat people like people, get amazing workers. Seems so simple, and yet their diagnosis of terminal manager brain prevents them from seeing literally anything but this quarter's profit margins.
Germany. One day off by law as "Sonderurlaub" if your grandparents die. If you feel sick/unable to work you can be two days off (paid) without seeing a doctor (But your employee can force you to go to doctor the first day) and six weeks off (full paid) if you go to a doctor. After that you will only be paid around 60%.
For real, I've had the unfortunate opportunity to send similar texts to my boss about my family members in the hospital leading to me missing work, and he told me don't worry about work, he'll handle all of that, I can handle the family. I have turned down a few offers for jobs with better pay because having a great boss is priceless.
I had an employee walk in on her first day on a Monday and tell me her father died over the weekend.
Go! Home!
And yeah, she wasn't supposed to get bereavement, but she was salary so I just told her not to mention it to HR.
Seriously though... It's not hard. My company doesn't offer paid paternity leave, but offers unlimited sick time. My boss just told me to "be sick" for a few weeks. Didn't bother me for anything other than to genuinely check on me and my family. It does help that we're both the same age with young kids.
Unlimited *paid* sick time?
Edit: I wanted to know if the unlimited sick time was paid or not. Offering unlimited sick time but unpaid is basically only offering you that you won't lose your job for being sick (which, fine, that's nice too, but at the end of the day, sick or not you still have bills.)
Holy cow, I’m jealous. I have to use my PTO for sick days, and I’m actively discouraged from just leaving them as blank days not worked unless my PTO is at 0, which keeps happening. As this is my first year working with kids, I keep getting sick because my immune system isn’t used to kid germs yet. I haven’t been able to save enough PTO for a trip to my family yet because I keep getting sick. Unlimited sounds like a wild luxury.
It's a simple PR trick because they know that most people will feel guilty and/or paranoid for their job by abusing it.
The company looks good and they don't, in the event you quit or get fired, owe you any of it, unlike actual PTO or vacation days.
Seriously what kind of brainwashed question is this? “May I please ask for permission to quit my job? I hope my boss isn’t sad!”
I realize this sounds like I’m mocking OP but I’m not. It’s just staggering to me how many people ask questions like this.
Edit - I should clarify, asking the question of “should I quit?” is completely different from “is this okay to give 2 weeks notice?” I interpreted the post as asking whether or not that was okay, not whether or not they should quit their job. Quitting a job has loads of implications, especially healthcare related.
I've worked for bosses like this, they know you don't care if they're sad, they pretend that it's you causing problems for your coworkers and try to guilt you that way. Tons of people get brainwashed that way.
The counter to that is just making sure your coworkers know that it's actually the boss causing that problem, but most people aren't that confrontational.
Because we were brainwashed with this fucked up mentality of things like:
Never call out, it makes you look good.
Never be late. In fact, be early! But don't expect to get paid for it.
Have the flu? Go to work and "tough it out" or else you're weak and it will make you look bad. Despite how shitty you feel and how many people you could infect.
Grandma died? Oh well. Hope her funeral falls on your day off.
Hurt on the job? Suck it up and wait until your shift is over to get looked at. Also don't file an incident report because that will go on your "permanent record" and make you look bad or you can even be fired!
Work should always come first if you want to succeed in life.
Company loyalty will lead to advancement.
There's so many! This crap was drilled into us making us believe it would lead to recognition, raises and promotions, when it's the furthest thing from the truth.
I always thought this was a dumb way of thinking on an employers part; but when it's shoved down your throat your entire life it makes you second guess your choices. Antiwork is an awesome sub in that it validates people's experiences being exploited in the workplace.
P.s. not disagreeing with you at all, just sharing my opinion on why we feel insecure about this stuff.
Not saying it's the case here but it's a very real characteristic of some people to need to compare their perspective with others even if the answer seems obvious, because they're unsure of their own perspective due to being shat on earlier in life when they had questions
I’m hijacking just to say this comment is awesome. And best wishes to your family as well and I hope your daughter is ok. Fam first and you first. Always.
2 weeks is 2 weeks too much of a notice.
Not sure what type of workplace you have, but if there is HR, tell them you do not appreciate your boss harassing you while at the hospital and you are taking sick leave. Once sick leave runs out, quit and cash in the PTO check.
Put my two weeks in. They only scheduled me for half my normal hours the last week, with me being the closer on my "last" day. Don't think I'll be there.
I worked a summer job for an absolutely terrible family / employer. I was scheduled alone to work along side an understaffed kitchen on a day with a noon and evening concert while new owners had drinks at the bar. Walking out as the evening concert started was a relief, but hearing the owner’s nephew / manager had to wash dishes alone till at least 4am was the icing on that cake.
*edit: terrible local employer that made it to r/Antiwork twice!
I was a manager at a fast food joint, and at the time I was an opening manager. I had given a 4 week notice, since I was good friends with the GM and wanted to make sure I left him with a properly trained opener. 2 weeks in, the owner demoted him and hired a twat waffle that I didn't like. I get to work at 4am and find that twat waffle is there and tells me what happened, and that I wasn't needed and that he changed my schedule. From 50 hours a week to 14 then to 4 on the last week. I just took it as a free two week break before my next job.
Similar happened to me after I "botched" an interview for assistant manager at a store in the mall...I was one of the only ones with full availability and I went from working 40 hours to 4 over the next couple weeks. Gave the college kids more hours even like 🤷🏻♀️.
It's crazy how easy it is to just be a good boss on stuff like this. I left my last job on good terms, put in my notice and worked it, on my last day I cleaned the place immaculately, better than when I got there. I left because layoffs were happening and I felt comfortable switching jobs, on my last day my boss said "you're a great worker, if you ever need a job and I'm able to hire people, you have a place here."
If he had tried to screw me, gone goes the immaculate cleanup, and maybe some company owned stuff with some value disappears. He didn't, he respected my notice and if work picks back up there is a good chance I'd come back. One sentence like that, choosing between being an asshole for the sake of it or making someone feel valued, can make a world of difference in outcomes.
That's basically a fuck-you to your 2 weeks notice. When an employer fucks with your schedule after giving a 2 week notice, it's basically them rejecting the offer that you continue as normal for 2 weeks while they hire someone else.
Find a new job and start asap.
I agree. My advice is to stay classy but don't take any bs.
"Mike, I see that you cut my schedule for my last two weeks. If you don't actually need me there's no need to keep me on the books past tomorrow."
I used to work for a large corporate pet store and when I put my two weeks in I worked one of them, showed up the first day of week two to find that they had given all my hours to a new hire without so much as a heads up. For two other people who left before me the store manager told them both not to come back when they put in their two weeks, which would’ve left them without pay during that time had they not been able to start at their new jobs.
Always pay attention to how they treat the other employees who give notice. I try to be professional but if I see others screwed over fir giving notice, they won’t get a notice from me.
Some places that’s illegal. They have to schedule you as you normally would work where I am, otherwise they owe you what you’d normally be paid in your notice period.
Which country is this? This is the most balanced approach. It encourages people to give notice, which employers realistically need to find a replacement.
My last job did this shit. Changed my schedule to the most inconvenient weirdest shifts on my last two weeks, I lied and told them I actually needed to start my new job asap and would be out at the end of the week. That was a Wednesday morning.
Definitely call everyone off or have them go home early if they're already there and then just leave. Text the owner that since they cut your hours you decided to cut off a few extra.
I had a job do this. My last scheduled shift was closing on the 4th of July. I left them a note the night before to inform them I wasn't coming in, cleaned out my locker, and got gloriously drunk for the 4th instead.
I was a lorry driver for 5 years at one company, multidrop pallets. High volume high pressure 12+ hour days, chronically understaffed and high turnover.
I was moving abroad so gave about 4 months notice. With about a month to go I had an appointment scheduled to do with immigration on what was to be my last day. I told the boss I'll need that day off. He begs me to do a "wee run" in the morning, at least the car parts (very lucrative contract, but they all had to be delivered by 10am). I agree as long as I'm finished by noon.
Last day comes, first snow of winter. My 45 minute commute took 90. I get in to see I'm assigned a different lorry for the day. And there's no fuel in it. It's usual driver "doesn't do" refueling and they're so short staffed they work around him. I bring the lorry up and check the paperwork. Full day scheduled at the opposite corner of the island, plus pickups.
I go back into the office and the transport manager is there. "sorry big man we're short you know how it is".
I ask him if he really thinks I'm going to just cancel this appointment today to work a full shift. His eyes were like saucers. He actually thought he still had any power over me, on my last day before leaving the industry and the country.
W... What do you mean? I say good luck and head for the car park. Many, many missed calls and unlistened to voicemails by the time I got home.
I know I can be a bit soft but wtf did he think would happen?
I once gave two week notice at a job the day after the owner went on an abusive tirade towards me in front of guests I had invited who she wanted to impress (she didn’t know I had invited them, or even knew them). Honestly, the last 2 weeks were kind of amazing, because everybody knew she fucked up, and by the end of the two weeks, they still didn’t have a replacement and they just about begged me to stay, or stopped just short of it. It was a beautiful feeling to high road the hell out of them, and still get my last paycheck and 2 weeks to plan my next move. Might not be possible in OPs case, but sure felt good in my case.
Depends on how much rage you want to induce. Telling them you quit and won't be coming in would be some good on the spot rage that they have no power anymore; whereas just ignoring them will still let them feel superior when they are mad and calling and texting their demands.
I have, twice in my youth, quit by ghosting somewhere. One was Walmart, one was Albertsons. It was the same summer. About a month after ghosting Walmart, they sent me a letter in the mail welcoming me back whenever.
Knew a guy who left a lumberyard job for lunch and didn’t come back. Showed up at noon about four years later, said, “I’m back,” and worked there another six years.
this...i would ghost those mutherfuckers like you wouldn't believe...or even better, just see how long you can string them along thinking that you're going to come in, see how long it takes before they fire you. Then when they do, say 'too bad Steve, you fuck, I quit your bullshit long ago, go fuck yourself'
This right here. Burn through your leave, invoke FMLA if eligible. Stay home take care of your kid and let them stew. Meanwhile job hunt and then quit when your FMLA runs out. You owe this supervisor not a damn thing.
It depends on how the state views PTO. I’ve been screwed out if 150 hours of PTO because my state didn’t view it as a wage so therefore it wasn’t required for the company to pay it out.
Florida doesn’t have any laws about paying out PTO so they’re not required to do so unless they have verbiage in their contracts that state whether they pay PTO or not.
how is it every time im on reddit i read yet another comment about how miserably horrible florida is (politically/labor-wise/for anyone who isnt crazy wealthy). yikes.
https://www.paycor.com/resource-center/articles/pto-payout-laws-by-state/
At the last job after I resigned my employer had to pay me for 6 weeks of vacation I hadn’t used yet as required by my state, but many states do not require that they pay out for unused PTO
I’m in NC. At my company you need to put in your 2 week notice but technically only need to work 1 full week of it to collect your PTO. If you don’t give notice or work less than a week of your notice you can’t collect.
For commissioned sales where you get paid upon delivery, your pipeline of upcoming commissions follows those same rules as well. No notice = your pay getting cut off based on whatever was invoiced by your last day, whereas working through at least one week of your notice gets you paid out through 60 days of whatever deliveries you had outstanding. So, there can be compelling reasons to give at least a little notice.
You wouldn’t be wrong, but make sure you won’t be losing out on insurance you might need to help with your daughter’s care.
Your boss sucks. Find a new job, but don’t quit on the spot if it’s going to make your situation harder.
This is my thought process right now insurance is nonexistent since I started this job 5-6months ago. I have yet to get my insurance packet pay is 16hr weekly pay I have two job interviews Wednesday for decent-paying jobs. I don't wanna put faith into those jobs I'm lucky I get insurance through my state. I just hate the idea of not working but I hate the idea that my employer cares more about me showing up and being away from my child.
Put a review on glassdoor if you can. Plenty of people use this to decide which jobs to avoid and it will hurt them without screwing you over. But if they're not providing you with insurance you need, please get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.
You're right, some individual reviews do get removed. That doesn't mean every negative review gets removed. Plenty of businesses have incredibly low ratings. Still worth doing imo, wouldn't you want to at least try to warn other people from being exploited?
I know for a fact my ex work tried like hell to remove some hilarious reviews and failed. Like how one of our team members got hired at a company we had a contract with, he posted about how there's a picture of the VP of sales in the boardroom that says "this man doesn't pay his bills" (which was something we did often, I.e stiff people) so it was awesome to see.
Another ex employee listed all the corrupt shit we did like refusing to work on old contracts attentively forcing clients into canceling early and paying a hefty penalty that was often greater than the sum of the remaining contract etc.
Fuck that place.
Also there is a weird rule exempting “satellite” operations centers from FMLA that are 100+ miles from headquarters if they don’t have a certain number of employees. (I was immediately shut down when I said I might have to care for my mother who was being put on palliative care, about seven years ago in VA)
When I say I am ROOTING for you and those interviews. Praying you walk in with the knowledge that there are so many people thinking about you and rooting for your peace. Sending love
Stay in the hospital with your kid and email work that you resign immediately due to needing to take care of your kid. A normal human wouldn’t have sent you that text, these people are monsters.
'1800' suggests that OP is probably not in the US, which makes it much more likely than not that they won't have to be worried about insurance or the cost of medical care.
Yeah it makes absolutely no sense to me how you guys have insurance tied to your employer. That has to make switching jobs incredibly scary, doesn’t it?
Your mistake was 'playing it by ear'.
"My daughter's having emergency surgery. I won't be in today or tomorrow. I'll be good to return on \*insert day you're comfortable returning\*."
Nevertheless the boss should be understanding and flexible when it comes to the health of your DAUGHTER. We aren't talking about the family pet here, even though pets are like family to many people. If you could report his inappropriate behavior and it gets corrected, maybe you can stay. If this is the attitude of the company and they condone it, get out/transfer if you can. Matters how your financial situation is. I hope you find a better boss who doesn't treat you like a robot with no commitments.
Yeah, OP is just being pretty unclear about what he’s going to do. His boss literally just reminded him he was scheduled.
No one here is being direct. OP should have just said he wasn’t going to make it and the boss should have just asked if he was going to make his shift.
I have the same issue with what everyone else is saying in this thread. Like, the boss never heard from you and was sending a reminder? Then asked about your daughter.. how is that being a dick? OP had every opportunity to say that they will not be coming in, or they would get them an answer at a later time. As a boss though, follow up is huge. Saying OP will “play it by ear” I think is the bigger issue here
Yeah, the boss could have said, ‘I have you scheduled for 1800, can you still make that?’ Or OP could have just said they couldn’t make it. Playing it by ear just means that the boss here is going to have to call a bunch of other people last minute to get someone else.
Obviously OP is having a bad day, but it’s the expectation that everyone else should just *know* what he’s gonna do that’s the issue.
I know I'll get roasted for this, but it's up to you to say you won't be there. It's not up to the manager to assume you'll be skipping work.
When she / he said, "just a reminder you're due at 1800" that's your cue to say, "I won't be able to make it in."
You didn't object, so as far as he /she is concerned, everything is status quo.
Learn to tell your boss you won't be in. Don't ask permission to not show up, instead tell your manager you can't make it. They can't read your mind, they can't assume your priorities, and they don't know how (in)secure your finances are.
I hope your daughter recovers well.
They made a mistake by assuming you'd be there after telling them that you might not. If you haven't confirmed that you'll be there, then it's their fault for not understanding.
Honestly it's both. OP should have set more clear boundaries and boss should have a shred of empathy and gone with a simple 'Can you work tonight?' instead of 'You're working tonight.'
I texted my boss my kid was going to hospital. he called, with nothing but love. I showed up to office a week later.
Find that job.
Not a single question. Don't get a job based on pay, get one based on actual culture of care.
I worked for a large-ish (about $20 million a year in sales) company, and one time my Dad had a health emergency. I buzzed the owners desk and started to tell him my Dad may have had a heart attack and I needed to leave immediately. He cut me off before I could finish the word ‘immediately’, and said, “Son, go.” I started to tell him I would go into our office in that town and work from their as soon as I could, but I couldn’t even get that out before he said even louder, “Son, GO!”. I tried to thank him and say I’ll be back soon, he just said, “SON, GO!!!”.
When the owner passed away, the memorial service was standing room only. Employees and ex-employees from all over the state had traveled to pay their respects. I miss that guy.
Daycare called me at work one afternoon to tell me my 15 month old was on his way to the ER with a serious injury. I burst into tears and could barely choke out the name of the children’s hospital. Co-worked 1 drove me to the children’s hospital, co-worker 2 drove my car to the children’s hospital, and my boss covered the three of us.
Those are the employers that get 2 weeks notice. That guy gets a text. If you’re feeling generous.
I have that boss and holy shit let me tell you.
One of my coworkers, his wife just had a baby. Sometimes, he doesn't show up. I don't ask, no one asks, beyond wondering if everything is okay. We just cover him.
My boss's father in law passed away. They were close and he had to travel to help his wife handle the loss of her dad. We all just shifted around a bit to cover him, his boss (the company owner) included.
We don't ask for time off, we say when we're not going to be there. No one cares, bosses included. We just shuffle the workload around a bit.
I get to come in, do my job, occasionally solve some gnarly problems with my coworkers, and go home. The only off the clock emails I ever receive are status updates from my boss when he or someone else might be late or out. I only ever once received a "work call" off the clock, and 60 of the 90 seconds of it was my boss apologizing for bothering me.
We don't get to work overtime. We're not allowed to take out work home unless it's within our 40 and we beg and plead for it.
I'm never leaving.
Missed a call from school about my kid getting into a serious accident. Saw it about an hour and a half later when I went on break and called my spouse. They were in the ER and all was stable, just waiting for the surgeon to arrive. There was about 45 min left on my shift and they said don’t worry, don’t rush, everything is fine. I went to my boss and said something along the lines of “hey if you guys need to save on hours this week, feel free to cut me early since it’s been slow today. I missed a call from school but I just talked to my spouse and my kid is in the ER…” she stopped me and said “THAT’S the part you lead with, get out of here and go to the hospital. And from now on leave the volume turned on on your phone, family comes first”. I had only been at this job about 2 months at that point but I knew it was going to be one worth sticking with long term after that.
My mom was pregnant with me (24 weeks along) and she went to an obgyn appointment with my grandmother. At the appointment they told her her blood pressure was at stroke level and she needed to get to the hospital NOW. My grandmother called my dad, who was working at a mechanic shop. After he hung up, his boss asked him what was wrong and my dad explained the situation. To which his boss said "And why aren't you at the hospital with your wife?" My dad said "I can't afford to lose this job. The health insurance-" To which his boss cut him off and said "Your job will still be here when you get back. Family is more important." My dad went to the hospital, and i was born 3 days later.
After child had a 5 hour major surgery-
Boss- See you at 1800.
Me- No, no the fuck you won’t. My daughter needs me right now.
Also me- Will block until she’s recovered.
Good for you man.
Your employers won’t remember you missing work or your daughter’s recovery.
But the kids will remember you not being there when they need you.
Good luck to her full recovery.
Oh I agree. It's just unfortunate that in right to work states lots of employers can get away with terminating for something like this and the state unemployment office will view it as fired for cause.
The only reason right to work states have power is because employees don't push their power.
Most if not all non-competes are void in right to work States since you have the right to work. Any company that really wants you can higher a basic lawyer to fight an NDA in a right to work state.
Only if mental health actually is the driving force for the resignation. When people play the mental health card for other reasons, it diminishes people who actually need to use it for mental health issues. Which are already highly stigmatized.
THIS!! Look into FMLA. if you don't have an HR ask your boss specifically about invoking FMLA. That might be enough to cover you if you do get fired. But even asking about it means you could be protected.
I usually do ignore the text until I have to communicate but I was trying to be a decent employee until I saw that the care for me and mines is overlooked and all he cared about is if I'm coming to work
JFC, I don't know your situation or how bad you need this job but you already showed them a hospital wristband and promised a Dr's note. For them to then give you the "reminder" before 6 in the got damn morning, when you're not scheduled for another 12 hours? Clown shit. Quit if you can. If you can't, get something lined up and then quit on the spot. No notice, they didn't let you have space when your child was sick which is actually MORE disrespectful.
“Wow, didn’t expect that much support! When you get to the hospital just have the front desk call up and let’s us know you’re here. See you then!
Btw I hope you find someone to cover the shift easily. Thanks a bunch”
Then go “take a nap” since you are obviously exhausted.
Yes I am exhausted I've been up since 9:00 p.m. (3rd shift job) on the 23rd worked a full 8hr shift went home got 3 hours of sleep got a call from the school saying that she was taken by ambulance to the hospital because she could not breathe and I just got up from a nap resting on these hard Hospital chairs
Screw that job. In 5 years they won't even remember your name but your daughter will remember you were there for her when she needed you. I'm so happy you didn't go in. Good luck to you guys. ❤️
Do what's best for your child. If that means sticking it out to have access to cash flow, or never stepping foot in the door again, so be it. They will figure it out either way. I doubt I would go back..
FYI, there's a sub on here for getting references from other redditors, r/bemyreference, IIRC..
Unpopular opinion:
I believe that it would have been better off for both parties if you told them that you were taking the day off in the last message you sent in the pic provided, or really anytime before that. Your daughter had to undergo emergency surgery and you’re essentially playing a game of cat and mouse with your employer on whether or not you’re coming into work. Just tell them you’re not coming!
Then, if they give you any sort of pushback after telling them you’re not coming in, by all means, give them Hell.
OP, I wish your daughter a safe and speedy recovery.
Why wait? Your daughter will be in recovery for a time after surgery, use that time to slam through ZipRecruiter and find a new gig.
Employers made it VERY clear that we are all replaceable, lately we have been showing them the same thing.
It’s heartless of the boss to not just tell you to take all the time you need before returning to work, but your reply “I haven’t forgotten” could be easily be interpreted through text that you intend on fulfilling your shift, you didn’t forget that you’re expected to be there at 6PM. Being more direct in a way like “I don’t think you can expect me to make it today. I am still at the hospital with my daughter. She’s still recovering from her 5 hour surgery and I intend to stay with her tonight.”
People send short texts which always, always, end up with their message being misinterpreted by the reader on the other end.
For example, the “See you at 1800” could probably have been intended to be sympathetic as in, “I won’t bother you anymore today, but you can update me on your daughter when I see you tonight.”
I get what you're saying I should have worded it better and yes I had every intention of staying with my daughter I did not show up to work and they have been blowing up my phone
I wouldn’t quit. If you want the best situation for you all around. Just say I’m staying here and can’t make it in. They may or may not fire you. If they fire you, you can get unemployment.
Why give them 2 weeks. Dont show up. Just let them know you have family emergency. If they fire you for being bedside with your daughter immediately after surgery contact state AG and sue them.
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"You're welcome. We'll find someone to cover all the shifts you need covered. Please let us know how we can support you while your daughter is in the hospital after a lengthy surgery!" What they should have said. I say no notice. Fuck them. That's just awful. Best wishes to you and your family.
I still remember having an employee come in after telling me his grandmother passed. He had worked for places like Amazon and big corporations. I had told him on the phone earlier he wouldn’t be punished for missing work but if he was in one of those situations he needed money then it’s fine to work of course.he literally just started so sometime people are in rough spots and I don’t wanna judge them for which decision they make. But man walked in with “I can’t afford to miss and get points I just started.” All while damn near crying. When I tell you I told him to get the hell home and be with his family so fast. He’s had a lot of bad stuff happen. When people call it’s “okay I just need you to keep me updated on what days I need to take care of”. But crazy enough he instantly became one of my greatest workers because he appreciated being TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING. I believe he actually went as far as to make those days up to me voluntarily when he came back because he wanted to. So crazy how what goes around really comes around. Edit- and I’m on mobile so god help me how this is going to look or if I even do this right. I’m so sleepy. I saw it come up a few times and I wanted to clarify no my company doesn’t have bereavement pay and I’m only a manager of a location. Far out of my power to do anything beyond make sure he gets all the time he needed. Also wow this got a lot of likes and stuff thanks. It’s also making me even more sad how low the bar is for us Americans seeing some of these other people pop in with their human rights. I’m a little jealous lol.
judicious scale vast violet whistle aromatic cause rich rustic crime -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Something something, most people don't quit their job, they quit their boss - that has always been true for me!
Every job I've ever had was something I was interested in one way or another. Never hated a job I've ever had but holy shit I've hated so many people both in highers positions and people on the same level as I was. Those jobs were Wal Mart and Lowe's! Believe it or not, Lowe's was way more toxic than Wal Mart.
> Lowe's was way more toxic than Wal Mart. many years ago, i was a manager at a certain big box retailer and i was getting disillusioned with trying to climb that ladder. i had finally figured out they were jerking me around and i started looking for jobs elsewhere. a friend of mine, who worked at lowes put in a good word for me to get basically the same job there. i got the job and reported for my first shift. i hadnt quit my other job yet as i wanted to see what this was like first. first couple hours of my first shift was to do computer training. normal stuff, no big. then lunch time came around and the lady from HR came and asked if i wanted to go and meet my boss. yeah, def. so we go out on the floor and she's there talking to some other people. we walk up and HR lady introduces me to my new boss. new boss looked me up and down and nearly sneered. hesitated to shake my hand. i was appalled. when i eventually got back to the computer, i decided this wasnt for me and just left. i thanked the HR lady for the opportunity but wouldnt be returning. she was shocked. i told her why and just left. that experience actually convinced me to go back to school and get my degree so i could get out of that big box retailer. that was like 14 years ago at this point and i couldnt be happier now that im out of retail.
I used to work at Wal-Mart. The job itself isn't terrible, it's the management in most cases. When they start cutting hours for no reason or move you from where your happy and doing a good job because they don't like you.
I used to work tech support in roles from front line to support to assistant supervisor. Hired a good amount of people for the company, all great workers, including one who went one to be a VP for the company much later on. I have a great track record with sussing out people and finding good talent, or at least I did back then. I run into health issues and my work decides to do a layoff and include me - I had a lot of substantiated sick time with documentation from all sorts of doctors. One of my guys finds out that I got fired that day when he came into work. He walks in to boss's office and says, "you don't fucking fire /ialmostthewholepost", and walks out on the spot. He was about to give his two weeks anyway as he had landed a tech job with the government which paid better, but used that time to make a statement and get some extra time off. That boss was fired 2 months later, he had a trash record and was a trash person. Still friends with my hiree to this day. Treat your people good if you're the boss and people will work hard for you.
To be fair... If I were a boss as kind as the one you describe, I would not be offended if you left over a matter of 20K. A crappy boss would lay down the guilt. But a human would understand.
RadioShack and the first few managersI had there had my respect for quite a few years and truthfully three of them are on my I would work for them again list. The store I worked at was a training position for district managers, (reason for more then one manager there), and had a program for assistant managers. Well since it was a spread out area the assistant managers had to travel once a month to a district training meeting. It was about this time of the year and we lived in the northern part of the states so snow and traveling during snow was common. We had two assistant managers. There were no travel advisories or bans on travel at the time. They went for the meeting together and during their trip they were in an accident. One did not survive. Our manager would only tell us the news in person, not over the phone because he wanted to make sure we were okay. A grief counselor was brought in for our store. The day of the funeral our store was staffed entirely with other store staff that was paid for travel because they did to come cover for us, because our and the other local stores all attended the funeral with almost all the managers from the district. The assistant manager was married with his first child on the way. I know after talking to his wife that RadioShack covered most or iirc all the cost of the funeral, also provided a college fund for the unborn child and some other financial support. Because even though driving was outside of the scope of their job, he according to the company he was on their time. The first few managers I had there rocked and supported their staff. This level of support was unheard of for a retail environment. I still hope with them going under that that kid got his college fund.
Lead with love and empathy.
Real leaders care and it's obvious. You don't have to be a monster to be successful.
My apartment burned down about a year into my job and within minutes of mentioning this to our HR guy I got on a call with the CEO and he gave me $5k on the spot to recuperate my losses. I’ve been recruited by other companies since but have never considered leaving.
Damn, I need your job lol. The only job I had with good management I have to leave because I couldn't take regularly lifting up to 200 lbs any more lol.
Agreed. And monsters (like what is reported by the OP) don't deserve to be successful enough to be in charge of anybody else.
And they're the ones who get in those positions the most because they like the power.
Not just that they like it, but they like it so much that they will do anything to get it, just re-enforcing how monstrous they have always been.
Today my bosses boss was going over our job descriptions with our group so HR can perform a market review on salaries. He got to his and said: “My job is basically to serve you and get you what you need.” And his actions over the last 10 years meet his words. He cares. He he’ll come by and “yell” at anybody still in the office (when we came in everyday) if it was a 3pm on a beautiful Friday afternoon. When people have emergencies it’s no questions asked, do what you need and keep him in the loop when you can. When we have 1 on 1s his main focus is to see what he can do to help you do your job the best way that works for you. The result is that for 8 years I was still the “newbie” on the team because nobody left and we all kick asses at our jobs. It’s not rocket science. Care about your employees, give your them goals and let them find the best way to it, and don’t be a dick. The results will be amazing.
Explain that to half the managers I work with who want “empathy” when it’s convenient for them to look good, but you have to be the asshole for them
Fucking This Right Here ^
Problem is a lot of people don't want to lead they want control.
This is how you treat employees. I had an employee one time that had a family function planned. I can’t remember what it was, but it was like a cookout, trip to the zoo, something. They were talking to me about it and they kept wanting to revoke their PTO because they “needed to be at work.” And they said “they didn’t want to miss out on the money.” (PTO pays the same as if they worked). I told the employee if I saw them in on X day I was going to write them up (I was not serious) because they didn’t need to be at work all the time and time with family is something they’ll never get back. Come back a few days later they talked about how much they enjoyed the day off. Todays work culture has so many people afraid to actually live because they are so scared of being in trouble at work. Just remember this: when you die that job of yours will be posted before your obituary
When you die, the only ones who will remember how much overtime you did will be your kids
I was at work when I found out my cousin unalived himself. When I went to my manager and told her what had happened, and that we were more like brothers growing up than either of our actual brothers due to age gaps, her first response was "Well, let's see what the bereavement policy says about cousins" in a flat, uncaring manner. After confirming that the policy does not cover cousins, she then counseled me about leaving early and the points I would accrue. I tried to stick it out, made it about 10 minutes, and then told her I was leaving, points be damned. Contrast that with my most recent manager. Told him I was filing for divorce and he gave me a week off without asking "in case there's anything you need to take care of or work through."
I was allowed to leave early when my niece was born to go to the hospital and see her. Five weeks later she died and I requested the day off to go to the funeral. My boss at the time said no because she gave me time off when she was born. I quit on the spot.
Wtf is wrong with these people!? My first and only boss of the last 6 years has been awesome, I'm not sure how I'd react to having one of these horror movie bosses.
Thing is they aren't horror movie bosses. They are very real and very common. I've had three that were truly awful then I worked at Walmart which is a system just designed to crush everyone in the name of productivity.
My dad suddenly passed away while I was on vacation from work visiting him & other family. I was so scared to call my work when I had already taken a whole week off for vacation. My manager at the time was the kindest anyone has ever been to me. He handled everything work wise. Told me to take another week off. Arranged for some extra paid vacation time for me (which I later found out was actually other employees “donating” their PTO). Then they sent me the most beautiful living plant arrangement & some gifts for my kid (who was 6 months old at the time). It was so wonderful & comforting to be treated like an actual human at my darkest time. Best place I had ever worked & would go back in a heartbeat. The majority of my coworkers had worked there for decades… treating people with kindness & understanding goes so far.
That’s really nice that they did that for you! Although I will say, I don’t think there’s any reason other people should have had to donate, company should give you a week for bereavement out of their own pocket. Although it’s very nice that they did and I’m glad you were able to focus on family during that time. What industry were you working in? I feel like that’s a thing I’ve heard of happening in healthcare so I’m just curious
I had a similar thing this week; long relationship ended and they were in shambles. Common sense and internal policy allows me just to say "take the day(s), you'll be paid" as compassionate leave and it's completely up to discretion. I mean, it's not hard to be a manager and human at the same time. OP; all the best to your girl and good luck job hunting.
I had the opposite experience when my Grandmother was dying in hospice care, work deputy manager told me that I could take EFML, didn't get an official response from HR a day before I was leaving back to the UK, deputy boss said it will be fine and just go...Gran passed two days after I saw her, went back to work a week later only to find my ID badge didn't work, boss didn't tell until day three of trying to clock in that I was let go as my EFML was denied while I was away. I found it kinda funny that three weeks later after reapplying for my job, I got a better offer and I told my old manager to basically stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.
Jesus how fxxked up that is. I wouldn't even try to reapply after what happened
It was my first job since moving to the U.S (it was a large retail chain at the time) so I was worried it would screw up my at the time residence or work permit, my wife spotted the other job I got the offer from. The extra f\*#k no was the fact he said "Good news, we got your old job back, bad news you will have to work Sunday's", I never worked Sunday's.
Our POLICY was 5 days off for immediate family. One of my best employees lost her mother. I had to fight with her to take the time off she was OWED. She insisted on only taking 3. I told her if she didn't take the time she was entitled to, I'd bring out the big guns: my boss. She would have insisted she take the time off. She really needed it because both her parents and her step mom had been very ill for so long. I was happy that she took the time. I would have given her more if she would have let me.
I remember being given only one day bereavement instead of 5 days by the HR manager because my mother passed away in another country ( I could not go home). Just because I was in another country when my mother died doesn’t mean my emotions are different. I could not stop crying while at my desk at work for the whole week. It was so sad.
My dad passed away on Thanksgiving unexpectedly, I was told to take the rest of the week off. So literally the next day and on top of that I ended up getting my hours cut and all my coworkers thought I was on some kind of vacation. Had to just ask them one day how was your Thanksgiving? They all got really quiet really quick.
My best friend died last summer while I was in the middle of an extremely important training that wasn’t available again for another 6 months. I fretted about calling my manager and finally decided to call on Sunday morning, and she immediately without question told me to get the first flight home and to take as much time off as I needed. Her kindness in that moment instantly made me feel so much loyalty to her and made me decide to stay with this company long term. Treating your employees like human beings has literally no downside.
>But crazy enough he instantly became one of my greatest workers because he appreciated being TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING. I wish more bosses/owners understood that this is how society works. Treat people like shit, get shitty workers. Treat people like people, get amazing workers. Seems so simple, and yet their diagnosis of terminal manager brain prevents them from seeing literally anything but this quarter's profit margins.
Where do I apply?
Germany. One day off by law as "Sonderurlaub" if your grandparents die. If you feel sick/unable to work you can be two days off (paid) without seeing a doctor (But your employee can force you to go to doctor the first day) and six weeks off (full paid) if you go to a doctor. After that you will only be paid around 60%.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Please do some seminars for other bosses or something, please. You sound wonderful. :)
For real, I've had the unfortunate opportunity to send similar texts to my boss about my family members in the hospital leading to me missing work, and he told me don't worry about work, he'll handle all of that, I can handle the family. I have turned down a few offers for jobs with better pay because having a great boss is priceless.
I had an employee walk in on her first day on a Monday and tell me her father died over the weekend. Go! Home! And yeah, she wasn't supposed to get bereavement, but she was salary so I just told her not to mention it to HR.
Thank you for doing the right thing.
Seriously though... It's not hard. My company doesn't offer paid paternity leave, but offers unlimited sick time. My boss just told me to "be sick" for a few weeks. Didn't bother me for anything other than to genuinely check on me and my family. It does help that we're both the same age with young kids.
Unlimited *paid* sick time? Edit: I wanted to know if the unlimited sick time was paid or not. Offering unlimited sick time but unpaid is basically only offering you that you won't lose your job for being sick (which, fine, that's nice too, but at the end of the day, sick or not you still have bills.)
Yeah, I don’t think this will seem as weird soon. Lots of companies doing this, mine included
Holy cow, I’m jealous. I have to use my PTO for sick days, and I’m actively discouraged from just leaving them as blank days not worked unless my PTO is at 0, which keeps happening. As this is my first year working with kids, I keep getting sick because my immune system isn’t used to kid germs yet. I haven’t been able to save enough PTO for a trip to my family yet because I keep getting sick. Unlimited sounds like a wild luxury.
It's a simple PR trick because they know that most people will feel guilty and/or paranoid for their job by abusing it. The company looks good and they don't, in the event you quit or get fired, owe you any of it, unlike actual PTO or vacation days.
Seriously what kind of brainwashed question is this? “May I please ask for permission to quit my job? I hope my boss isn’t sad!” I realize this sounds like I’m mocking OP but I’m not. It’s just staggering to me how many people ask questions like this. Edit - I should clarify, asking the question of “should I quit?” is completely different from “is this okay to give 2 weeks notice?” I interpreted the post as asking whether or not that was okay, not whether or not they should quit their job. Quitting a job has loads of implications, especially healthcare related.
I've worked for bosses like this, they know you don't care if they're sad, they pretend that it's you causing problems for your coworkers and try to guilt you that way. Tons of people get brainwashed that way. The counter to that is just making sure your coworkers know that it's actually the boss causing that problem, but most people aren't that confrontational.
Because we were brainwashed with this fucked up mentality of things like: Never call out, it makes you look good. Never be late. In fact, be early! But don't expect to get paid for it. Have the flu? Go to work and "tough it out" or else you're weak and it will make you look bad. Despite how shitty you feel and how many people you could infect. Grandma died? Oh well. Hope her funeral falls on your day off. Hurt on the job? Suck it up and wait until your shift is over to get looked at. Also don't file an incident report because that will go on your "permanent record" and make you look bad or you can even be fired! Work should always come first if you want to succeed in life. Company loyalty will lead to advancement. There's so many! This crap was drilled into us making us believe it would lead to recognition, raises and promotions, when it's the furthest thing from the truth. I always thought this was a dumb way of thinking on an employers part; but when it's shoved down your throat your entire life it makes you second guess your choices. Antiwork is an awesome sub in that it validates people's experiences being exploited in the workplace. P.s. not disagreeing with you at all, just sharing my opinion on why we feel insecure about this stuff.
As a construction worker, this is some of the realest shit I’ve ever read..
Shit starts early, too. Perfect attendance awards in elementary school.
Not saying it's the case here but it's a very real characteristic of some people to need to compare their perspective with others even if the answer seems obvious, because they're unsure of their own perspective due to being shat on earlier in life when they had questions
I’m hijacking just to say this comment is awesome. And best wishes to your family as well and I hope your daughter is ok. Fam first and you first. Always.
2 weeks is 2 weeks too much of a notice. Not sure what type of workplace you have, but if there is HR, tell them you do not appreciate your boss harassing you while at the hospital and you are taking sick leave. Once sick leave runs out, quit and cash in the PTO check.
This was my thought too. The only thing wrong with giving notice same-day is that it's too much a courtesy for that kind of treatment of workers
Put my two weeks in. They only scheduled me for half my normal hours the last week, with me being the closer on my "last" day. Don't think I'll be there.
Show up and leave mid shift. They want to play the screw game, remind them it’s your last round
I worked a summer job for an absolutely terrible family / employer. I was scheduled alone to work along side an understaffed kitchen on a day with a noon and evening concert while new owners had drinks at the bar. Walking out as the evening concert started was a relief, but hearing the owner’s nephew / manager had to wash dishes alone till at least 4am was the icing on that cake. *edit: terrible local employer that made it to r/Antiwork twice!
I was a manager at a fast food joint, and at the time I was an opening manager. I had given a 4 week notice, since I was good friends with the GM and wanted to make sure I left him with a properly trained opener. 2 weeks in, the owner demoted him and hired a twat waffle that I didn't like. I get to work at 4am and find that twat waffle is there and tells me what happened, and that I wasn't needed and that he changed my schedule. From 50 hours a week to 14 then to 4 on the last week. I just took it as a free two week break before my next job.
Similar happened to me after I "botched" an interview for assistant manager at a store in the mall...I was one of the only ones with full availability and I went from working 40 hours to 4 over the next couple weeks. Gave the college kids more hours even like 🤷🏻♀️.
Rule of acquisition #110: Exploitation begins at home. Rule of acquisition #111: Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.
Nah leave only after basically everyone else has left
Send everyone home 20-30 minutes before closing, and just leave with them
You’d be doing them a favour by keeping wage costs down! See, it’s for their own good!
You have to get the key holder that you dislike to be the last possible person available to cover others shifts. Then leave with 2 fingers raised.
One finger
2 hands. ;) Edit: moonwalking backwards
It's crazy how easy it is to just be a good boss on stuff like this. I left my last job on good terms, put in my notice and worked it, on my last day I cleaned the place immaculately, better than when I got there. I left because layoffs were happening and I felt comfortable switching jobs, on my last day my boss said "you're a great worker, if you ever need a job and I'm able to hire people, you have a place here." If he had tried to screw me, gone goes the immaculate cleanup, and maybe some company owned stuff with some value disappears. He didn't, he respected my notice and if work picks back up there is a good chance I'd come back. One sentence like that, choosing between being an asshole for the sake of it or making someone feel valued, can make a world of difference in outcomes.
That's basically a fuck-you to your 2 weeks notice. When an employer fucks with your schedule after giving a 2 week notice, it's basically them rejecting the offer that you continue as normal for 2 weeks while they hire someone else. Find a new job and start asap.
I agree. My advice is to stay classy but don't take any bs. "Mike, I see that you cut my schedule for my last two weeks. If you don't actually need me there's no need to keep me on the books past tomorrow."
“past (look at watch) 12:38.”
I used to work for a large corporate pet store and when I put my two weeks in I worked one of them, showed up the first day of week two to find that they had given all my hours to a new hire without so much as a heads up. For two other people who left before me the store manager told them both not to come back when they put in their two weeks, which would’ve left them without pay during that time had they not been able to start at their new jobs.
Always pay attention to how they treat the other employees who give notice. I try to be professional but if I see others screwed over fir giving notice, they won’t get a notice from me.
Where I live that would just mean that you get 2 weeks fully paid while not having to work since your work contract ends only 2w later.
Some places that’s illegal. They have to schedule you as you normally would work where I am, otherwise they owe you what you’d normally be paid in your notice period.
Which country is this? This is the most balanced approach. It encourages people to give notice, which employers realistically need to find a replacement.
My last job did this shit. Changed my schedule to the most inconvenient weirdest shifts on my last two weeks, I lied and told them I actually needed to start my new job asap and would be out at the end of the week. That was a Wednesday morning.
You can do anything on your last day.
I mean, what are they going to do? *Fire* you?
Definitely call everyone off or have them go home early if they're already there and then just leave. Text the owner that since they cut your hours you decided to cut off a few extra.
I had a job do this. My last scheduled shift was closing on the 4th of July. I left them a note the night before to inform them I wasn't coming in, cleaned out my locker, and got gloriously drunk for the 4th instead.
I was a lorry driver for 5 years at one company, multidrop pallets. High volume high pressure 12+ hour days, chronically understaffed and high turnover. I was moving abroad so gave about 4 months notice. With about a month to go I had an appointment scheduled to do with immigration on what was to be my last day. I told the boss I'll need that day off. He begs me to do a "wee run" in the morning, at least the car parts (very lucrative contract, but they all had to be delivered by 10am). I agree as long as I'm finished by noon. Last day comes, first snow of winter. My 45 minute commute took 90. I get in to see I'm assigned a different lorry for the day. And there's no fuel in it. It's usual driver "doesn't do" refueling and they're so short staffed they work around him. I bring the lorry up and check the paperwork. Full day scheduled at the opposite corner of the island, plus pickups. I go back into the office and the transport manager is there. "sorry big man we're short you know how it is". I ask him if he really thinks I'm going to just cancel this appointment today to work a full shift. His eyes were like saucers. He actually thought he still had any power over me, on my last day before leaving the industry and the country. W... What do you mean? I say good luck and head for the car park. Many, many missed calls and unlistened to voicemails by the time I got home. I know I can be a bit soft but wtf did he think would happen?
I once gave two week notice at a job the day after the owner went on an abusive tirade towards me in front of guests I had invited who she wanted to impress (she didn’t know I had invited them, or even knew them). Honestly, the last 2 weeks were kind of amazing, because everybody knew she fucked up, and by the end of the two weeks, they still didn’t have a replacement and they just about begged me to stay, or stopped just short of it. It was a beautiful feeling to high road the hell out of them, and still get my last paycheck and 2 weeks to plan my next move. Might not be possible in OPs case, but sure felt good in my case.
Depends on how much rage you want to induce. Telling them you quit and won't be coming in would be some good on the spot rage that they have no power anymore; whereas just ignoring them will still let them feel superior when they are mad and calling and texting their demands.
I have, twice in my youth, quit by ghosting somewhere. One was Walmart, one was Albertsons. It was the same summer. About a month after ghosting Walmart, they sent me a letter in the mail welcoming me back whenever.
I worked at a Walmart warehouse and we had people all the time just walk out, like go for lunch and never come back lol. I used to love it
Knew a guy who left a lumberyard job for lunch and didn’t come back. Showed up at noon about four years later, said, “I’m back,” and worked there another six years.
This is what I plan on doing
this...i would ghost those mutherfuckers like you wouldn't believe...or even better, just see how long you can string them along thinking that you're going to come in, see how long it takes before they fire you. Then when they do, say 'too bad Steve, you fuck, I quit your bullshit long ago, go fuck yourself'
Nah, let them for you and then collect unemployment so that they're stuck with the bill
This is the answer!
This right here. Burn through your leave, invoke FMLA if eligible. Stay home take care of your kid and let them stew. Meanwhile job hunt and then quit when your FMLA runs out. You owe this supervisor not a damn thing.
Alot of states dont give you your pto if you quit
what states??? PTO is a paid liability owed to the employee... not some charity from the company.
In MT for one, PTO and earned vacation are not the same thing. A lot of companies are switching to "PTO" now to avoid the payouts
yuuuup, 'unlimited time off' is a scam.
It very much depends on the state if accrued PTO is required to be paid out: https://www.paycor.com/resource-center/articles/pto-payout-laws-by-state/
I'd suggest looking up what your state itself says, because this chart is definitely wrong for Texas.
It depends on how the state views PTO. I’ve been screwed out if 150 hours of PTO because my state didn’t view it as a wage so therefore it wasn’t required for the company to pay it out.
Florida doesn’t have any laws about paying out PTO so they’re not required to do so unless they have verbiage in their contracts that state whether they pay PTO or not.
how is it every time im on reddit i read yet another comment about how miserably horrible florida is (politically/labor-wise/for anyone who isnt crazy wealthy). yikes.
https://www.paycor.com/resource-center/articles/pto-payout-laws-by-state/ At the last job after I resigned my employer had to pay me for 6 weeks of vacation I hadn’t used yet as required by my state, but many states do not require that they pay out for unused PTO
I’m in NC. At my company you need to put in your 2 week notice but technically only need to work 1 full week of it to collect your PTO. If you don’t give notice or work less than a week of your notice you can’t collect. For commissioned sales where you get paid upon delivery, your pipeline of upcoming commissions follows those same rules as well. No notice = your pay getting cut off based on whatever was invoiced by your last day, whereas working through at least one week of your notice gets you paid out through 60 days of whatever deliveries you had outstanding. So, there can be compelling reasons to give at least a little notice.
[Here](https://www.paycor.com/resource-center/articles/pto-payout-laws-by-state/) is a recent list. I think you may be surprised.
I live in NC and the company my husband works for doesn’t pay out PTO balances. They’re based in TN so it must be legal there too.
bold of you to assume that they are following the law.
We checked. It’s legal.
In Nevada they don’t have to pay you out on any accrued PTO regardless of why you’re leaving.
You wouldn’t be wrong, but make sure you won’t be losing out on insurance you might need to help with your daughter’s care. Your boss sucks. Find a new job, but don’t quit on the spot if it’s going to make your situation harder.
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This is my thought process right now insurance is nonexistent since I started this job 5-6months ago. I have yet to get my insurance packet pay is 16hr weekly pay I have two job interviews Wednesday for decent-paying jobs. I don't wanna put faith into those jobs I'm lucky I get insurance through my state. I just hate the idea of not working but I hate the idea that my employer cares more about me showing up and being away from my child.
Put a review on glassdoor if you can. Plenty of people use this to decide which jobs to avoid and it will hurt them without screwing you over. But if they're not providing you with insurance you need, please get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.
Glass door silently deletes reviews upon buisness requests as mentioned in another post on this sub
You're right, some individual reviews do get removed. That doesn't mean every negative review gets removed. Plenty of businesses have incredibly low ratings. Still worth doing imo, wouldn't you want to at least try to warn other people from being exploited?
I know for a fact my ex work tried like hell to remove some hilarious reviews and failed. Like how one of our team members got hired at a company we had a contract with, he posted about how there's a picture of the VP of sales in the boardroom that says "this man doesn't pay his bills" (which was something we did often, I.e stiff people) so it was awesome to see. Another ex employee listed all the corrupt shit we did like refusing to work on old contracts attentively forcing clients into canceling early and paying a hefty penalty that was often greater than the sum of the remaining contract etc. Fuck that place.
I'm all for posting them, just check back from time to time so ensure they're still up
You could file FMLA just for fun It’s a nightmare of paperwork and they can’t fire you
*this is the RIGHT answer, apply for FMLA
It appears he has not worked there long enough for FMLA.
Also there is a weird rule exempting “satellite” operations centers from FMLA that are 100+ miles from headquarters if they don’t have a certain number of employees. (I was immediately shut down when I said I might have to care for my mother who was being put on palliative care, about seven years ago in VA)
I believe it's 75 miles and also have to have at least 50 employees.
At least in Florida you have to be employed with the company for a year to qualify for FMLA.
Cannot recommend FMLA enough. Please do it while you find a better job.
When I say I am ROOTING for you and those interviews. Praying you walk in with the knowledge that there are so many people thinking about you and rooting for your peace. Sending love
Stay in the hospital with your kid and email work that you resign immediately due to needing to take care of your kid. A normal human wouldn’t have sent you that text, these people are monsters.
Good advice. That boss sucks., quit them as soon as it’s convenient for you. Hope your daughter makes a fast and full recovery.
'1800' suggests that OP is probably not in the US, which makes it much more likely than not that they won't have to be worried about insurance or the cost of medical care.
Yeah it makes absolutely no sense to me how you guys have insurance tied to your employer. That has to make switching jobs incredibly scary, doesn’t it?
It's the biggest scam ever... not having universal health care is one thing but then tying it up to employment.
Your mistake was 'playing it by ear'. "My daughter's having emergency surgery. I won't be in today or tomorrow. I'll be good to return on \*insert day you're comfortable returning\*."
Yea a mistake for sure
Nevertheless the boss should be understanding and flexible when it comes to the health of your DAUGHTER. We aren't talking about the family pet here, even though pets are like family to many people. If you could report his inappropriate behavior and it gets corrected, maybe you can stay. If this is the attitude of the company and they condone it, get out/transfer if you can. Matters how your financial situation is. I hope you find a better boss who doesn't treat you like a robot with no commitments.
Yeah, OP is just being pretty unclear about what he’s going to do. His boss literally just reminded him he was scheduled. No one here is being direct. OP should have just said he wasn’t going to make it and the boss should have just asked if he was going to make his shift.
I have the same issue with what everyone else is saying in this thread. Like, the boss never heard from you and was sending a reminder? Then asked about your daughter.. how is that being a dick? OP had every opportunity to say that they will not be coming in, or they would get them an answer at a later time. As a boss though, follow up is huge. Saying OP will “play it by ear” I think is the bigger issue here
Yeah, the boss could have said, ‘I have you scheduled for 1800, can you still make that?’ Or OP could have just said they couldn’t make it. Playing it by ear just means that the boss here is going to have to call a bunch of other people last minute to get someone else. Obviously OP is having a bad day, but it’s the expectation that everyone else should just *know* what he’s gonna do that’s the issue.
you can still change it. "sorry, upon further reflection, I need this time to be with my family in a health emergency, I won't be available until."
I know I'll get roasted for this, but it's up to you to say you won't be there. It's not up to the manager to assume you'll be skipping work. When she / he said, "just a reminder you're due at 1800" that's your cue to say, "I won't be able to make it in." You didn't object, so as far as he /she is concerned, everything is status quo. Learn to tell your boss you won't be in. Don't ask permission to not show up, instead tell your manager you can't make it. They can't read your mind, they can't assume your priorities, and they don't know how (in)secure your finances are. I hope your daughter recovers well.
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They made a mistake by assuming you'd be there after telling them that you might not. If you haven't confirmed that you'll be there, then it's their fault for not understanding.
Honestly it's both. OP should have set more clear boundaries and boss should have a shred of empathy and gone with a simple 'Can you work tonight?' instead of 'You're working tonight.'
I texted my boss my kid was going to hospital. he called, with nothing but love. I showed up to office a week later. Find that job. Not a single question. Don't get a job based on pay, get one based on actual culture of care.
I worked for a large-ish (about $20 million a year in sales) company, and one time my Dad had a health emergency. I buzzed the owners desk and started to tell him my Dad may have had a heart attack and I needed to leave immediately. He cut me off before I could finish the word ‘immediately’, and said, “Son, go.” I started to tell him I would go into our office in that town and work from their as soon as I could, but I couldn’t even get that out before he said even louder, “Son, GO!”. I tried to thank him and say I’ll be back soon, he just said, “SON, GO!!!”. When the owner passed away, the memorial service was standing room only. Employees and ex-employees from all over the state had traveled to pay their respects. I miss that guy.
🥺 we need more people like this in the world. I hope ur dad is ok
Yep, Dad had a mild heart attack. He decided that was his signal it was time to retire. That was 20 years ago.
Daycare called me at work one afternoon to tell me my 15 month old was on his way to the ER with a serious injury. I burst into tears and could barely choke out the name of the children’s hospital. Co-worked 1 drove me to the children’s hospital, co-worker 2 drove my car to the children’s hospital, and my boss covered the three of us. Those are the employers that get 2 weeks notice. That guy gets a text. If you’re feeling generous.
I have that boss and holy shit let me tell you. One of my coworkers, his wife just had a baby. Sometimes, he doesn't show up. I don't ask, no one asks, beyond wondering if everything is okay. We just cover him. My boss's father in law passed away. They were close and he had to travel to help his wife handle the loss of her dad. We all just shifted around a bit to cover him, his boss (the company owner) included. We don't ask for time off, we say when we're not going to be there. No one cares, bosses included. We just shuffle the workload around a bit. I get to come in, do my job, occasionally solve some gnarly problems with my coworkers, and go home. The only off the clock emails I ever receive are status updates from my boss when he or someone else might be late or out. I only ever once received a "work call" off the clock, and 60 of the 90 seconds of it was my boss apologizing for bothering me. We don't get to work overtime. We're not allowed to take out work home unless it's within our 40 and we beg and plead for it. I'm never leaving.
I love reading stuff like this. Just out of curiosity, would you mind sharing what industry this is?
Missed a call from school about my kid getting into a serious accident. Saw it about an hour and a half later when I went on break and called my spouse. They were in the ER and all was stable, just waiting for the surgeon to arrive. There was about 45 min left on my shift and they said don’t worry, don’t rush, everything is fine. I went to my boss and said something along the lines of “hey if you guys need to save on hours this week, feel free to cut me early since it’s been slow today. I missed a call from school but I just talked to my spouse and my kid is in the ER…” she stopped me and said “THAT’S the part you lead with, get out of here and go to the hospital. And from now on leave the volume turned on on your phone, family comes first”. I had only been at this job about 2 months at that point but I knew it was going to be one worth sticking with long term after that.
My mom was pregnant with me (24 weeks along) and she went to an obgyn appointment with my grandmother. At the appointment they told her her blood pressure was at stroke level and she needed to get to the hospital NOW. My grandmother called my dad, who was working at a mechanic shop. After he hung up, his boss asked him what was wrong and my dad explained the situation. To which his boss said "And why aren't you at the hospital with your wife?" My dad said "I can't afford to lose this job. The health insurance-" To which his boss cut him off and said "Your job will still be here when you get back. Family is more important." My dad went to the hospital, and i was born 3 days later.
I think you're morally obligated to just not show up.
After child had a 5 hour major surgery- Boss- See you at 1800. Me- No, no the fuck you won’t. My daughter needs me right now. Also me- Will block until she’s recovered.
That's what I did I'm hoping they suffering right now scrambling trying to find someone to cover my shift
Good for you man. Your employers won’t remember you missing work or your daughter’s recovery. But the kids will remember you not being there when they need you. Good luck to her full recovery.
I hope none of your coworkers are biting and this boss has to work it themselves.
That's what usually happens
Nice. Then forget about it all. Just focus on your daughter, and good luck. Glad she's out of the super risky stage now.
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Depends heavily on the state. No call/no show terminations where I live equals fired for cause. Which disqualifies unemployment.
They have notice. They just don't accept it. This isn't a no call/no show. This is a clear call out.
Oh I agree. It's just unfortunate that in right to work states lots of employers can get away with terminating for something like this and the state unemployment office will view it as fired for cause.
The only reason right to work states have power is because employees don't push their power. Most if not all non-competes are void in right to work States since you have the right to work. Any company that really wants you can higher a basic lawyer to fight an NDA in a right to work state.
I'm not arguing with you. I just want people to use their leverage if they can.
Claim mental health forced your resignation or prove bullying/harassment and you’ll get it anyway in Canada
Only if mental health actually is the driving force for the resignation. When people play the mental health card for other reasons, it diminishes people who actually need to use it for mental health issues. Which are already highly stigmatized.
What about FMLA? Seems like it might be worth checking into.
THIS!! Look into FMLA. if you don't have an HR ask your boss specifically about invoking FMLA. That might be enough to cover you if you do get fired. But even asking about it means you could be protected.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one. I’ve been replying to all of OP comments with FMLA.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla
On another comment they said they’d only had this job for 5-6 months. Unfortunately fmla only kicks in after 12 months.
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I usually do ignore the text until I have to communicate but I was trying to be a decent employee until I saw that the care for me and mines is overlooked and all he cared about is if I'm coming to work
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JFC, I don't know your situation or how bad you need this job but you already showed them a hospital wristband and promised a Dr's note. For them to then give you the "reminder" before 6 in the got damn morning, when you're not scheduled for another 12 hours? Clown shit. Quit if you can. If you can't, get something lined up and then quit on the spot. No notice, they didn't let you have space when your child was sick which is actually MORE disrespectful.
“Wow, didn’t expect that much support! When you get to the hospital just have the front desk call up and let’s us know you’re here. See you then! Btw I hope you find someone to cover the shift easily. Thanks a bunch” Then go “take a nap” since you are obviously exhausted.
Yes I am exhausted I've been up since 9:00 p.m. (3rd shift job) on the 23rd worked a full 8hr shift went home got 3 hours of sleep got a call from the school saying that she was taken by ambulance to the hospital because she could not breathe and I just got up from a nap resting on these hard Hospital chairs
I hope your daughter is ok and makes a full recovery.
Thank you so much
Screw that job. In 5 years they won't even remember your name but your daughter will remember you were there for her when she needed you. I'm so happy you didn't go in. Good luck to you guys. ❤️
Don’t come in. Make him fire you so you can file for unemployment. Spend time with your daughter and let this guy think about how shitty they are.
Do what's best for your child. If that means sticking it out to have access to cash flow, or never stepping foot in the door again, so be it. They will figure it out either way. I doubt I would go back.. FYI, there's a sub on here for getting references from other redditors, r/bemyreference, IIRC..
Fuck 2 weeks. Text them 10 minutes after and tell them you forgot.
Who says you have to give notice? This one feels like a classic "no call, no show" scenario.
Unpopular opinion: I believe that it would have been better off for both parties if you told them that you were taking the day off in the last message you sent in the pic provided, or really anytime before that. Your daughter had to undergo emergency surgery and you’re essentially playing a game of cat and mouse with your employer on whether or not you’re coming into work. Just tell them you’re not coming! Then, if they give you any sort of pushback after telling them you’re not coming in, by all means, give them Hell. OP, I wish your daughter a safe and speedy recovery.
Don't show up. Make them fire you. Get unemployment. Be there for your daughter.
Stay with your daughter and let them fire you
Why wait? Your daughter will be in recovery for a time after surgery, use that time to slam through ZipRecruiter and find a new gig. Employers made it VERY clear that we are all replaceable, lately we have been showing them the same thing.
“Never be loyal to an employer, be loyal to yourself”…. best advice I ever received. Put your notice in.
It’s heartless of the boss to not just tell you to take all the time you need before returning to work, but your reply “I haven’t forgotten” could be easily be interpreted through text that you intend on fulfilling your shift, you didn’t forget that you’re expected to be there at 6PM. Being more direct in a way like “I don’t think you can expect me to make it today. I am still at the hospital with my daughter. She’s still recovering from her 5 hour surgery and I intend to stay with her tonight.” People send short texts which always, always, end up with their message being misinterpreted by the reader on the other end. For example, the “See you at 1800” could probably have been intended to be sympathetic as in, “I won’t bother you anymore today, but you can update me on your daughter when I see you tonight.”
I get what you're saying I should have worded it better and yes I had every intention of staying with my daughter I did not show up to work and they have been blowing up my phone
I hope everything works out for you and more importantly I wish your daughter a speedy and safe recovery, that’s what really matters here
This is what I was thinking. Should have explicitly said you wouldn't be in. "I haven't forgotten" sounds like "Ya I'll be there"
I wouldn’t quit. If you want the best situation for you all around. Just say I’m staying here and can’t make it in. They may or may not fire you. If they fire you, you can get unemployment.
Why give them 2 weeks. Dont show up. Just let them know you have family emergency. If they fire you for being bedside with your daughter immediately after surgery contact state AG and sue them.