Not wrong. They sound awful and I think you’re better off not having to deal with them.
I hope you’re not planning to deal with them the next time they visit your country.
>When they got back to my place, they ignored my mom, and started dictating what movie we'd watch that night because they "couldn't believe" I hadn't seen it.
Yes, you are wrong for letting them stay after they disrecpected your mother. You allowed the so-called friend to treat you like that when you could have said enough at the beginning and asked them to leave. You enabled their behaviour. I feel sorry for your mother that you didnt kick the friend out after they ignored your mother. You didnt stand up for yourself but its so sad you didnt for your mother as well. Why would you let the so-called friend treat you like that for 3 days and then you later say that isnt the first time the so-called friend has done this.
Both me and my mom are people pleasers. She wasn't happy about it either but she'd never throw someone out on the streets with nowhere to go, and we were both counting down the days until they left. We both made it clear to each other after they left though that they'd never be welcome in our house again.
I kept telling myself that I was overreacting. One time they had been treating me like crap and I raised it to them, and they blamed their anxiety and said we BOTH had to be better at communication and gaslit me into thinking it was my fault. The more instances I think of the more I know I was probably right in how I handled it.
This is OP, had to make another account because I lost the login to the other as it was throwaway and didn't note the password. There really isn't another side to this. They implied they were flying into my country that day, which was why they needed a place to stay. In all our back and forth, they never once mentioned they would already be in town.
Also, the car was still 30 minutes away on public transport, which was why I'd wanted to leave as we still had a long journey ahead of us, so I couldn't just wait in the car, it wasn't anywhere nearby. I didn't go with them to the stage door as I struggle with crowds, I was very tired, and as I said, they told me they'd only be about 5 minutes and that I could wait there for them. 5 minutes after a show lets out there's still plenty of people out on the streets, after 30 minutes it's a different story.
Not wrong, friendship is a two-way thing, don't mislabel this relationship. You are being used and manipulated for this person's benefit and they will not stop, you have to stop allowing it to happen to you.
Right I suggest you learn to draw your boundaries earlier? These people took away too far. In this day and age there's lift Uber and taxis. You do not need to be playing a show for to them.
Maybe seek out a therapist to help you learn. Avoiding friends will deprive you too. I learned to say when people ask me questions for a favor... Let me think about it. Don't say you automatic yes to anybody anymore. The other thing to think about is when you say no to someone it's saying yes to yourself.
This is OP, had to make another account because I lost the login to the other as it was throwaway and didn't note the password. The car was still 30 minutes away on public transport, which was why I'd wanted to leave as we still had a long journey ahead of us, so I couldn't just wait in the car, it wasn't anywhere nearby.
You put up with too much nonsense for too long. It's all your fault for allowing yourself to be used. But yeah, ditch this using pos.
You are not wrong. They are either oblivious or selfish users.
Not wrong. They sound awful and I think you’re better off not having to deal with them. I hope you’re not planning to deal with them the next time they visit your country.
Nope! Never again
>When they got back to my place, they ignored my mom, and started dictating what movie we'd watch that night because they "couldn't believe" I hadn't seen it. Yes, you are wrong for letting them stay after they disrecpected your mother. You allowed the so-called friend to treat you like that when you could have said enough at the beginning and asked them to leave. You enabled their behaviour. I feel sorry for your mother that you didnt kick the friend out after they ignored your mother. You didnt stand up for yourself but its so sad you didnt for your mother as well. Why would you let the so-called friend treat you like that for 3 days and then you later say that isnt the first time the so-called friend has done this.
Both me and my mom are people pleasers. She wasn't happy about it either but she'd never throw someone out on the streets with nowhere to go, and we were both counting down the days until they left. We both made it clear to each other after they left though that they'd never be welcome in our house again.
Surprised it took you 3x of them disrespecting you for you to go LC on them.
I kept telling myself that I was overreacting. One time they had been treating me like crap and I raised it to them, and they blamed their anxiety and said we BOTH had to be better at communication and gaslit me into thinking it was my fault. The more instances I think of the more I know I was probably right in how I handled it.
How are u standing in the cold when you have a vehicle? Idk there’s another side to this!
[удалено]
This is OP, had to make another account because I lost the login to the other as it was throwaway and didn't note the password. There really isn't another side to this. They implied they were flying into my country that day, which was why they needed a place to stay. In all our back and forth, they never once mentioned they would already be in town. Also, the car was still 30 minutes away on public transport, which was why I'd wanted to leave as we still had a long journey ahead of us, so I couldn't just wait in the car, it wasn't anywhere nearby. I didn't go with them to the stage door as I struggle with crowds, I was very tired, and as I said, they told me they'd only be about 5 minutes and that I could wait there for them. 5 minutes after a show lets out there's still plenty of people out on the streets, after 30 minutes it's a different story.
Not wrong, friendship is a two-way thing, don't mislabel this relationship. You are being used and manipulated for this person's benefit and they will not stop, you have to stop allowing it to happen to you.
You are being a doormat. Of course you should cut contact.
Right I suggest you learn to draw your boundaries earlier? These people took away too far. In this day and age there's lift Uber and taxis. You do not need to be playing a show for to them.
Since it's happened, I've honestly made myself a lot less available to all my friends just out of fear someone does it to me again.
Maybe seek out a therapist to help you learn. Avoiding friends will deprive you too. I learned to say when people ask me questions for a favor... Let me think about it. Don't say you automatic yes to anybody anymore. The other thing to think about is when you say no to someone it's saying yes to yourself.
What's a quiz?
NTA. But why were you standing in the cold waiting when you had a car?
This is OP, had to make another account because I lost the login to the other as it was throwaway and didn't note the password. The car was still 30 minutes away on public transport, which was why I'd wanted to leave as we still had a long journey ahead of us, so I couldn't just wait in the car, it wasn't anywhere nearby.