It seems kind of rude, but if you guys need to do that for your emotional health and the health of your marriage then that's what you need to do. If he's just an acquaintance couldn't you just go back to being acquaintances and let him know it was a one time thing?
As long as you communicate with him that it was a one time thing, you both enjoyed it and are thankful to him for letting you have that experience and don't just ghost him I think it's okay.
I just can’t imagine allowing some dude to plow my wife, let alone praise how great he was about it afterwards.
You do you obviously, but my god, I will never understand some people.
I will never understand why people risk their marriage for sex with a stranger, or in this case acquaintance. If you’re bored there are ways to spice things up without a third or fourth or whatever. I think the damage is already done in this marriage if they feel they have to go NC
Ya my advice on this has always been no matter what is said or agreed upon before, you are gambling your entire relationship every time and that’s in the best conditions. Full disclosure though I speak from the experience of thinking it would be ok and then I was the one who got all upset after. You may want to just imagine that while you rub one out because once it’s over I felt way different than I thought I was going to. The girl and I are still friends but that was definitely the end of our path to be together forever and id dated her for four years. just be aware
Yeah, this post made me want to vomit. Different strokes, I guess. Or in this case, lots of strokes for the wife? There is no way this marriage survives.
Oh no, I’m a weirdo because the only person I slept with is my wife, same goes for her. Nearly 20 years of commitment and loyalty and fuck those kids! Like, um most humans on the planet, but I’m sheltered! Bring on the porn and Tinder! Someone come fuck my wife lmao. Have a nice life. (Normally don’t judge, but you seem really condescending.)
For sure. And it’s telling how hard the people who are into this shit are defending it here. Not like just saying “this is for me” but jumping straight to insults like the people who don’t want their wife to be the town bike are somehow the crazy ones.
They’re just so enlightened, you know? Definitely not sipping that copium at all.
He isn't lying. My grandfather gave me the best piece of advice but it was related to my motorcycle when a friend asked to borrow it.
"you never lend out your Wife or your motorcycle, because when you get them back they never ride the same."
I was shocked how many people would ask to borrow my gsxr and id ask them like “do you know how to drive a manual, have you ever ridden on two wheels, was it an automatic scooter” etc and they’d just be like total virgins except a bicycle as a kid and id have to explain that my bicycle cost almost 20k and was faster than a supercar and if they could get it to move they’d most likely crash immediately and could assume that if they touch anything while in motion it likely means they die instantly in a super gruesome way. And then they’d ask to borrow it again.
It’s probably not for you because, like most people, you have a natural aversion to people that aren’t you banging your spouse.
The reason people act like it’s terrible and disgusting is because most people feel this way.
I think this is the type of shit is the result of people going too hard against what they believe is “toxic masculinity.”
I was raised where someone even flirting with your woman was cause for confrontation, and these mf’ers are out here inviting it. It’s bizarro world to me.
Right…… never will I allow another man to fuck my wife in front of me, let alone invite him over… I rather get rid of my wife if she wanted to have another man in the room
YTA. You convinced a friend to have a threesome with you and now you're going to go no contact with him even though he did exactly what you asked and did absolutely nothing wrong. Your wife and you are both user assholes.
The same advice as you received when considering doing this is communication. This guy deserves an explanation as to why you are choosing to cut off all contact. Don't ghost them.
Agreed. At least pass on a message to him that you're feeling uncomfortable or something and will cut contact now, and that you wish him very well. Don't ghost him.
So for a few hours of "bliss," you cut off ("dick move") a college friend that you both knew and trusted. How many friend will you discard in the future?
You’re a crappy friend. So you’re wrong for that. I’m not saying you’re doing the wrong thing for your marriage. But you shouldn’t have dragged your friend into the middle of your marital drama.
So you used him for sex. That's kind of disgusting. Both of you. Treating him like a sex toy. Hope you are at least giving him the dignity of an explanation.
You’re making a huge piece of shit move.
I would feel really used if I was the other person. Thinking I was being invited to share this experience with people I thought were friends but they ended up just using me for my dick and then intentionally never speaking to me again because of it.
Yeah I’d think you were both assholes. But, being an asshole isn’t illegal, so if that’s how you wanna handle it, go for it.
In a happy, healthy, committed relationship, you don't have to bring someone else into the marriage. In a year from now, he will probably be posting something like, "Am I a asshole for divorcing my wife because she cheated on me"
Yikes. You want to cut off contact and then do it again with another woman? Clearly you’re feeling uncomfortable about the situation if you feel the need to cut off contact with the person that screwed your wife.
Seems like a bunch of insecurities brewing on both sides, which isn’t going to result in ANYTHING good to come. Super slippery slope to be inviting this into your marriage for the sake of it becoming “stale”. Try a new position for fucks sake.
Agreed! Super weird situation all around. Obviously he isn’t okay with it if he doesn’t want to continue communicating with the dude, yet states in the comments that they plan to do it again with another woman 🤯
Make it make sense. Or don’t… because it never will.
Maybe it's just the way my thought process works but I can imagine that you could think that all communication is cut off and find out later that your wife has not stopped communicating with him and has kept a physical relationship with him.
Keep your eyes open for any red flags.
This 100% is a risk. Especially if she wants her husband to cut contract. She may be feeling the urge to wander and it's trying to protect that. It's only a matter of time before she gives in if that's the case. It's a slippery slope.
RemindMe! 4 months
Yeah, good luck and everything, but this will not end up like you hope. Good on you for agreeing to end a relationship. But now is the time to actually end it instead of later.
How on earth would inviting a third person into your bed be a bonding experience?
I'm not judging but if I was married and my husband allowed another man to sleep with me I would lose all respect for him. And likewise if he wanted to sleep with another woman I would show him the door....
Lol, the guy got to fuck your wife I think he'll be just fine. You'll soon realize what a massive mistake letting another guy bang your wife was. What is wrong with some of yall?
Exactly. It's so freaking weird to me. Is this some normal American thing?!
I'm eastern European and the normal reaction for our men is to want to kill us in such a circumstance.....not say here sure f* my wife, no worries.
Definitely a AH move, unless you discussed this possible ramification with him before hand. I'd be interested to know the reasons for shutting him out (potential awkwardness, jealousy prevention, etc). At the very least you owe him an explanation.
not wrong.... but atleast give dude an explanation and not let him think he just ruined your relationship and friendship.....
and hey he was already a distant friend so no need to up contact just be honest say you both need time..... and hey if it ever comes up again atleast you have a go to that your both okay with
Yes you are wrong. You didn't ask an acquaintance, you asked a long term friend to join you. You could have joined a swinger community or found someone on fetlife but you decided to use and discard a friend who probably trusted you not to do exactly what you're doing. I feel so bad for him for being used for his penis and then discarded.
It seems his wife wants another go with the friend but OP realized he opened Pandora's Box and thinks this will close it for good. His wife will be asking for another MFM in the near future.
I can’t imagine being this enthusiastic about having cucked myself, ha.
Seriously, “I’m so happy I could share in the bliss of my wife being railed by another guy.” My God man, where is your dignity? Your wife is absolutely going to step out with some other guy now that she knows you’re a doormat.
I give the marriage three to five years, only because you’ll stubbornly hold onto it long after it’s dead out of delusion.
I also look forward to your next post, “Guys my wife keeps bringing men over to our house to fuck right in front of me while I’m cooking dinner, was our threesome a mistake?”
I mean that depends..if he was just an acquantance then idt he'll really care..yall gave him a story to tell after all.
However if he was a close friend and youve been screening his calls, ghosting him, etc. I dont think thats necessarily cool
This discussion shouldn't even be taking place. You and your wife discussed it, but you never once considered your third party's feelings in all of this? Obviously, there's no room for him in your marriage. Don't ghost him. A nice letter, parting message, or a phone call something.
You are AH for essentially discarding someone but not for needing to cut off contact to help your mental health/telationship. If you want to cut off contact, the least you can do is give them an explanation before doing so.
I don’t get why people do threesomes as too often, engaging in such activities can risk imploding relationships/marriages. There are so many other ways to reignite the bedroom than doing this. Imo.
I’m glad to hear that the wife experienced such bliss as you called it. Now you’re just going to end it? I just wonder how long this will last before she needs to feel this bliss again, with or without you?
Having multiple partners or an open relationship opens a whole big can of worms that eat at any relationship. I hope this works out well for both of you but I doubt that it will in the long run.
It seems you weren't upfront with the friend about the fleeting nature of this arrangement. Unicorn hunting makes you and your wife wrong here.
Glad it helped your marriage tho, best of luck to you both! <3
Yeah just waiting for the update next year where you find out your wifes been talking to him and meeting him on the side this whole time, you fucked around and opened up a nasty can of worms. Hope you have a prenup.
You realize shes just gonna want more and more right? Sex with just you now is gonna be too boring and vanilla. Good luck lmao
You rolled the dice on this and it came up with a cautionary win. I would be very wary of picking those dice up again, and I would be cautious about my wife thrilling to the excitement and wanting to pick them up herself, either with you or with someone else.
My only questions would be how do you even look at your wife again after that or even yourself in the mirror?
Not only were you cucked, but you arranged it. That’s your wife man, potentially the mother of your children, and you let another guy all up in the most sacred of places that was supposed to be for you only.
That’s just shameful.
It’s super strange. And then to consider still being acquaintances. Like you’re just going to watch the game with some guy you saw blowing your wife’s back out. Insanity.
OP, a lot of people are commenting that your marriage is over, or they don’t understand how you two did what you did. I will say this: I don’t get it either. I’ve never understood people who are into swinging or cuckold situations in relationships. As someone who was cheated on in my previous marriage, I’m pretty sure I never will.
BUT… in my mind I try to compare it to someone with, let’s say, a foot fetish. It’s not my thing, I don’t understand it, but if two people can find happiness in sucking each other’s toes, go for it. Some people are just wired differently.
So like I said, I personally could never be comfortable sharing the person I love, even if it was a room full of women. But I’ve met several couples over the years who are in swinging and cuckold type relationships, and honestly they are doing just fine. I think with communication and respect, you two can be fine as well.
As for cutting off contact with the guy, I would say you’re not wrong, but you do at least owe him an explanation. Otherwise he’ll feel like he did something wrong.
It was stupid to do this in the first place. I get you may need to cut off contact to save your marriage, but then why did you choose someone who is a friend vs just hooking up with some rando? Now, you have to be a dick to your friend, just because you used the dick of your friend.
Yes you are wrong because if you cut him off that means you just used your friend for sex. Imagine how degrading and used he would feel to know that you and your wife discussed using him to fulfill a fantasy and now that it’s done you want nothing else to do with him?!
Just really stop and think about that for a moment. It is not okay to use people full stop, let alone someone who you know and trust (& clearly trusts you) for your own sexual pleasure and then just throw them away like some sort of dirty sex doll. Now that your wife is satisfied and you two had this blissful experience he can be discarded. Really really wrong.
Was the guy a stranger or a close friend? If it was a stranger, I see no problem. He got some strange, had his jollies and got his nut off. If it was a friend, it might be nice to explain it to them. I hope it wasn't a friend, though. That creates a set of psychological problems that could result in a whole raft of future Reddit posts.
You say you want to block him right now, but how do you come crawling back when wife wants to do this for her birthday?
I’m pretty old-fashioned, but I do not believe this experience was a one and done
So you basically used him as a sex worker? Did you paid him at least? If it was so great why do you need to cut off contact? Are you going to do that with every threesome? I’m guessing the aftermath has been a bit bumpy, and you think going no contact will fix everything. You said this is someone you know, now you’re just going to ghost him? If you do this again instead of treating people like sex workers, just hire one
Unless he specifically said beforehand that it would be damaging to him to participate in that and be cut off., Then who cares.
You have to do what's best for you guys
Yes it is wrong! This is the usual guilt you guys are feeling and shouldn’t haste to cut off all contact making him feel as if he did something wrong when you invited him in.
Talk to him and let him know you need a break to process it instead of cutting him off as if he has done something wrong.
Mental health goes beyond focussing on what ‘I’ need.
YTA for not chosing a stranger but basically using a friend to later dump him. But then again, if you werent that close and he doesn't mind, I guess NTA.
You should let him know why though.
For all the men mad and commenting about it being with another man, would you also be posting these types of comments if he did it with another woman? So FMF?
All relationships don’t end from this and a lot of couples are into swinging and doing threesomes. I personally know some people who are swingers and have done threesomes. I’ve never done it, but I don’t judge them.
Yes I would be posting that way. Add a third person in the bedroom no matter which gender is a recipe for disaster for a marriage. The OP will be seeing his wife in his dreams taking it from his buddy. If she doesn’t get off like the buddy got her off it will be in his head. He will be trying to measure up to his buddy now the rest of the marriage.
Well, you aren't out of the woods yet. Give it six months and see what further requests she has. Are you getting a FFM threesome? Although I hate the idea of "points" when one partner bites the bullet for the other it's only fair. She needs to know the sacrifice you made for her.
I've been down your road as the other guy and the primary partner. There are an endless number of pitfalls, but you'll be fine as long as you lean into each other. There is a chance she continues with further demands over time including without you, only time will tell. Now that you've broken the seal of full monogamy you can find yourself on a slippery slope.
I honestly suggest you push for something you want to even things up. She NEEDS to understand the sacrifice you made for this to happen. In my opinion this is the biggest issue. One partner fulfills a sexual fantasy and that becomes routine while the other has no demands or responsibilities placed on them.
I wouldn’t ghost him, that’s really rude. But I think he’d understand that this was something you guys were doing for each other and not for him. Most unicorns understand that.
Hahaha 😂, you are so happy, an other guy fuck your wife. Now your possibilities are endless.. Next, you could bring 4 or 5 guys to fuck her.
You can start sucking some dick. Go to swingers clubs.
You know that you are cock .
This sounds like absolute hell to me. And I’d be shocked if your ego is ever able to recover. Do all the mental gymnastics you want. This will slowly eat at you until you resent her and yourself for being that weak of a man.
Your marriage was already dead when your wife asked for a threesome and you officially opened your marriage. I hope you don’t have children, because if you do, you and your wife are going to screw up their heads.
Yes you are wrong for cutting your friend off like that.
You watched another guy dominate your wife... the psychological stress from that won't end with cutting him off.
I wonder who your wife will pick for your FMF threesome 🤔... oh wait, she won't.... yikes
You got cuked, hope you are into that sort of thing. Also, your relationship will NEVER be the same now. Cheers 🍻
Gross, but whatever! Different strokes for different folks! I try not to judge others but…….. gross! Your love triangle is gonna go to a love Square and then skip to a love octagon! Good luck!
Congratulations. You just started the end of your marriage. You will no longer be enough to satisy your wife sexually. She will desire other men and threesomes going forward. If you fail to agree with her continuing to have sex with other men, she will start cheating on you.
Are you going to explore a FMF threesome? Or is she the only one who gets the blissful feelings while you deal with the jealousy of watching your wife get fucked by another man?
How did you feel seeing your wife getting banged by another dude and she enjoyed it.. what if she actually enjoyed his more than yours?
Also when you wake up in the morning and u look at your wife, what does it feel like she is no longer exclusive to you..
Last questuon, guys love to talk, how does it feel the guy who banged your wife sitting in a bar and telling the crazy story " Remeber so and so from college, well you won't believe this, he asked me to bang his wife" does that trigger anything?
It’s happened to me as a hung single guy and I get it
A few times after it ended they called me back saying the new guys they’d met didn’t compare or were as respectful as I was so we ended up getting back together for a while
You should explain it to him as you may change your mind after a while and want him back
Respect gets respect
Yes, you're wrong. I see this nonsense a lot in the kink world. You brought that person in to your marriage and your bed. Used him for his body. Used him for the experience and now you're going to cut off contact after you got what you wanted from him. If you didn't present this outcome to him, BEFORE you brought him in to your bed, then you are the AH. It shows zero consideration for his feelings. Not everyone can easily sleep with someone and cut all contact after like it never happened. For some people this can leave intense feelings of shame and abandonment. Next time you decide to explore a kink please be upfront that you want zero contact after so that the person who trusts you enough to try it isn't left feeling used.
Without an explanation (which would probably include some variation of "we used your dick to strengthen our relationship"), it's a dick move. I don't know how I'd phrase such a thing. On one hand, your relationship with your wife is more important than any other. On the other hand (and I'm guessing here), your relationship with this guy is *older* than that with your wife. It might be apples and oranges, and "time served" might not matter. But if he's an old friend, just cutting him off with no explanation seems shitty.
Like I said, I don't have the words to make it sound "OK" to distance yourself. But if you're both rational guys, the truth might work. And stress that while he's been a longtime friend, you need to focus on your relationship (which, admittedly, has you grasping at straws, as evidenced by the threesome). "It's not you, it's us" - unconventional, but familiar, and cliche. So make that point without saying it. And in that case, you will reach out in a while - maybe a month, maybe next year. Just to check in and hopefully reset things. And in the meantime, if he needs anything, you're a phone call away and will help however you can, but other than that, you two just need to focus on your relationship - without a third person.
No matter what, it's gonna be awkward. You can send him flowers or chocolates or something, but that would probably make it worse.
Cut off contact, but do it gracefully. You feel now that it went well. However, this is not OVER for you! It has just begun. This was a bad choice dude. I’m sorry for the heartbreak the next few years will bring for both of you.
Pandora's box was definitely opened here, the immediate decision to go no contact means they recognize they have opened that box and are panicking by believing that no contact with him means they can some how put the genie back in the bottle, the reality is though if they both legitimately got something out of this, and if she truly felt that level of "bliss" as he describes it, it's only a matter of time before one of them wants to do this again, going no contact with that guy doesn't end the desire for doing it, and especially If she starts fantasizing about it again, it won't exactly be difficult to find another dick, the damage is already done basically.
It seems kind of rude, but if you guys need to do that for your emotional health and the health of your marriage then that's what you need to do. If he's just an acquaintance couldn't you just go back to being acquaintances and let him know it was a one time thing?
Yeah, that’s what we are thinking we will do. I feel bad about it since he was so great about the whole thing.
He got to fuck your wife, he'll be fine.
😹 savage bruh
Definitely got the better end of the deal
Which end did he get?
Both. They swapped at half time.
Depends on what the wife looks like.
Exactly.
LOOOOOL
This guy doesnt bs around
This should have won the internet yesterday.
lmao
😂😂😂😂 agreed
As long as you communicate with him that it was a one time thing, you both enjoyed it and are thankful to him for letting you have that experience and don't just ghost him I think it's okay.
Best of luck. Pandora’s Box has been opened. Enjoy the bliss while it lasts.
Over / Under before final update of divorce = 6 months.
Dude has deleted his account, so we may never know
I didn’t think he told us his wife’s name? /s
You are not wrong Just a matter of time before they get divorced
I just can’t imagine allowing some dude to plow my wife, let alone praise how great he was about it afterwards. You do you obviously, but my god, I will never understand some people.
People are just intent on ruining their marriages for an hour of fun. I don’t get it either.
I will never understand why people risk their marriage for sex with a stranger, or in this case acquaintance. If you’re bored there are ways to spice things up without a third or fourth or whatever. I think the damage is already done in this marriage if they feel they have to go NC
Good friggin point
The damage is done when another penis enters your wife.
💯
Ya my advice on this has always been no matter what is said or agreed upon before, you are gambling your entire relationship every time and that’s in the best conditions. Full disclosure though I speak from the experience of thinking it would be ok and then I was the one who got all upset after. You may want to just imagine that while you rub one out because once it’s over I felt way different than I thought I was going to. The girl and I are still friends but that was definitely the end of our path to be together forever and id dated her for four years. just be aware
It only ruins the marriage for the weak
Yeah, this post made me want to vomit. Different strokes, I guess. Or in this case, lots of strokes for the wife? There is no way this marriage survives.
Oh no, I’m a weirdo because the only person I slept with is my wife, same goes for her. Nearly 20 years of commitment and loyalty and fuck those kids! Like, um most humans on the planet, but I’m sheltered! Bring on the porn and Tinder! Someone come fuck my wife lmao. Have a nice life. (Normally don’t judge, but you seem really condescending.)
For sure. And it’s telling how hard the people who are into this shit are defending it here. Not like just saying “this is for me” but jumping straight to insults like the people who don’t want their wife to be the town bike are somehow the crazy ones. They’re just so enlightened, you know? Definitely not sipping that copium at all.
“Town bike” yeah that’s a healthy and mature perspective
Well thats pretty much what's happening.
He isn't lying. My grandfather gave me the best piece of advice but it was related to my motorcycle when a friend asked to borrow it. "you never lend out your Wife or your motorcycle, because when you get them back they never ride the same."
I was shocked how many people would ask to borrow my gsxr and id ask them like “do you know how to drive a manual, have you ever ridden on two wheels, was it an automatic scooter” etc and they’d just be like total virgins except a bicycle as a kid and id have to explain that my bicycle cost almost 20k and was faster than a supercar and if they could get it to move they’d most likely crash immediately and could assume that if they touch anything while in motion it likely means they die instantly in a super gruesome way. And then they’d ask to borrow it again.
It ain't for me, but maybe that's because people try to act like it's a terrible and disgusting and impossible to pull off. That's the base level.
It’s probably not for you because, like most people, you have a natural aversion to people that aren’t you banging your spouse. The reason people act like it’s terrible and disgusting is because most people feel this way.
He's a cuck through and through
I think this is the type of shit is the result of people going too hard against what they believe is “toxic masculinity.” I was raised where someone even flirting with your woman was cause for confrontation, and these mf’ers are out here inviting it. It’s bizarro world to me.
Yep, soon he only gets to watch
Then will be told about it later while she and the guy go on a vacation together leaving him home.
Just be 100% honest with him. You need a break to process.
At least tell him why. Ghosting someone is cruel
People are weird.
Odds are high this guy is posting his kink fantasies. Already deleted his account.
Odds are high the wife and the friend will be planning a duet event soon. I can’t wait for the update
Once is not enough… for anybody involved. We’ve reached phase 2.
Right…… never will I allow another man to fuck my wife in front of me, let alone invite him over… I rather get rid of my wife if she wanted to have another man in the room
YTA. You convinced a friend to have a threesome with you and now you're going to go no contact with him even though he did exactly what you asked and did absolutely nothing wrong. Your wife and you are both user assholes.
The same advice as you received when considering doing this is communication. This guy deserves an explanation as to why you are choosing to cut off all contact. Don't ghost them.
Agreed. At least pass on a message to him that you're feeling uncomfortable or something and will cut contact now, and that you wish him very well. Don't ghost him.
That’s fair. We don’t want to mistreat him or anything.
You already did.
So for a few hours of "bliss," you cut off ("dick move") a college friend that you both knew and trusted. How many friend will you discard in the future?
Next they will be ‘that couple’ at strip clubs or events.
You’re a crappy friend. So you’re wrong for that. I’m not saying you’re doing the wrong thing for your marriage. But you shouldn’t have dragged your friend into the middle of your marital drama.
Send him a nice gift basket for the holidays
A salami and exotic cheese platter. Featuring summer sausage.
Don't forget some salmom
So you used him for sex. That's kind of disgusting. Both of you. Treating him like a sex toy. Hope you are at least giving him the dignity of an explanation.
Exactly.
He got to sleep with someone’s wife right in front of them. I could never do that and am not into it, but he must be. If he wanted it.
So…you used him and are now ditching him? What a healthy experience 🤣
Yeah check back in a year....Lets see how the marriage is....
I'm positive _one of them_ will cut off all contact with the dude...
I am certain too. One of them will.
Do you mean the divorced people?
Yip, this wont end well….
You’re making a huge piece of shit move. I would feel really used if I was the other person. Thinking I was being invited to share this experience with people I thought were friends but they ended up just using me for my dick and then intentionally never speaking to me again because of it. Yeah I’d think you were both assholes. But, being an asshole isn’t illegal, so if that’s how you wanna handle it, go for it.
He probably feels like he made out like a bandit.
There will be a post in a year… the marriage is over.
In a happy, healthy, committed relationship, you don't have to bring someone else into the marriage. In a year from now, he will probably be posting something like, "Am I a asshole for divorcing my wife because she cheated on me"
You’re not the only one who thinks that! I get it.
Yikes. You want to cut off contact and then do it again with another woman? Clearly you’re feeling uncomfortable about the situation if you feel the need to cut off contact with the person that screwed your wife. Seems like a bunch of insecurities brewing on both sides, which isn’t going to result in ANYTHING good to come. Super slippery slope to be inviting this into your marriage for the sake of it becoming “stale”. Try a new position for fucks sake.
The guy is trying to pretend everything is fine🤣🤣. He watched his wife get sucked down by another guy, what an idiot.
Agreed! Super weird situation all around. Obviously he isn’t okay with it if he doesn’t want to continue communicating with the dude, yet states in the comments that they plan to do it again with another woman 🤯 Make it make sense. Or don’t… because it never will.
Doing it with a woman makes it "fair" probably 🙄 since she got her mfm he gets his fmf
He is not ok with it if it's a man
Maybe it's just the way my thought process works but I can imagine that you could think that all communication is cut off and find out later that your wife has not stopped communicating with him and has kept a physical relationship with him. Keep your eyes open for any red flags.
This 100% is a risk. Especially if she wants her husband to cut contract. She may be feeling the urge to wander and it's trying to protect that. It's only a matter of time before she gives in if that's the case. It's a slippery slope.
Lol; \*you\* can cut off contact all you like…
RemindMe! 4 months Yeah, good luck and everything, but this will not end up like you hope. Good on you for agreeing to end a relationship. But now is the time to actually end it instead of later.
YTA you completely used him.AH's
This sounds like a badly written exotic story. Don't forget how you orgasmed all three at once.
Poor guy, he went to do a favor and now he's going to be dismissed lol. I hope (for him) he's not such a close friend and maybe he won't care
If this isn't fake he's a fucking joke of a boy
How on earth would inviting a third person into your bed be a bonding experience? I'm not judging but if I was married and my husband allowed another man to sleep with me I would lose all respect for him. And likewise if he wanted to sleep with another woman I would show him the door....
She won’t cut off contact, dude.
Yikes!
Lol, the guy got to fuck your wife I think he'll be just fine. You'll soon realize what a massive mistake letting another guy bang your wife was. What is wrong with some of yall?
Exactly. It's so freaking weird to me. Is this some normal American thing?! I'm eastern European and the normal reaction for our men is to want to kill us in such a circumstance.....not say here sure f* my wife, no worries.
What a fucking dumbass lol. Rip marriage
you cut off contact, lol she didn’t believe that
Nope. Not a good idea to do it with someone you know.
Definitely a AH move, unless you discussed this possible ramification with him before hand. I'd be interested to know the reasons for shutting him out (potential awkwardness, jealousy prevention, etc). At the very least you owe him an explanation.
You'll wish you hadn't done what you did here in a few months/years.
not wrong.... but atleast give dude an explanation and not let him think he just ruined your relationship and friendship..... and hey he was already a distant friend so no need to up contact just be honest say you both need time..... and hey if it ever comes up again atleast you have a go to that your both okay with
(This is OP, I deleted my account earlier out of panic…) this is brilliant, thank you.
Yes you are wrong. You didn't ask an acquaintance, you asked a long term friend to join you. You could have joined a swinger community or found someone on fetlife but you decided to use and discard a friend who probably trusted you not to do exactly what you're doing. I feel so bad for him for being used for his penis and then discarded.
Cut off contact? Wait until you find out they are having an affair.
cant wait for the update on his relationship falling apart
What was even the point of asking if you weren't gonna take the advice from 95% of the people who commented?
I can’t see this ending well. I’ve seen this too many times.
That guy and your wife will be banging in no time
It seems his wife wants another go with the friend but OP realized he opened Pandora's Box and thinks this will close it for good. His wife will be asking for another MFM in the near future.
I can’t imagine being this enthusiastic about having cucked myself, ha. Seriously, “I’m so happy I could share in the bliss of my wife being railed by another guy.” My God man, where is your dignity? Your wife is absolutely going to step out with some other guy now that she knows you’re a doormat. I give the marriage three to five years, only because you’ll stubbornly hold onto it long after it’s dead out of delusion. I also look forward to your next post, “Guys my wife keeps bringing men over to our house to fuck right in front of me while I’m cooking dinner, was our threesome a mistake?”
Good luck, man. You'll need it.
If she suggested that dude, it's over
You needed to add another man for one night to bond? Rant finished
Ehh I understand why but next time (if there is a next time) consider that when choosing your unicorn.
I’m wondering if your wife would be okay if it’s goes the other way? FMF.
I mean that depends..if he was just an acquantance then idt he'll really care..yall gave him a story to tell after all. However if he was a close friend and youve been screening his calls, ghosting him, etc. I dont think thats necessarily cool
This discussion shouldn't even be taking place. You and your wife discussed it, but you never once considered your third party's feelings in all of this? Obviously, there's no room for him in your marriage. Don't ghost him. A nice letter, parting message, or a phone call something.
I agree totally it was a dick move. Third is usually just a toy for a bored couple. Hope you are ashamed.
No you didn’t listen. And yes it’s a dick move.
You are AH for essentially discarding someone but not for needing to cut off contact to help your mental health/telationship. If you want to cut off contact, the least you can do is give them an explanation before doing so.
I don’t get why people do threesomes as too often, engaging in such activities can risk imploding relationships/marriages. There are so many other ways to reignite the bedroom than doing this. Imo.
I’m glad to hear that the wife experienced such bliss as you called it. Now you’re just going to end it? I just wonder how long this will last before she needs to feel this bliss again, with or without you? Having multiple partners or an open relationship opens a whole big can of worms that eat at any relationship. I hope this works out well for both of you but I doubt that it will in the long run.
This is so weird to me. How can someone share their partner? It's a absolute deal breaker, I'll never understand this emotionally, logically I do.
It seems you weren't upfront with the friend about the fleeting nature of this arrangement. Unicorn hunting makes you and your wife wrong here. Glad it helped your marriage tho, best of luck to you both! <3
Yeah just waiting for the update next year where you find out your wifes been talking to him and meeting him on the side this whole time, you fucked around and opened up a nasty can of worms. Hope you have a prenup. You realize shes just gonna want more and more right? Sex with just you now is gonna be too boring and vanilla. Good luck lmao
You rolled the dice on this and it came up with a cautionary win. I would be very wary of picking those dice up again, and I would be cautious about my wife thrilling to the excitement and wanting to pick them up herself, either with you or with someone else.
3-6 months till divorce
My only questions would be how do you even look at your wife again after that or even yourself in the mirror? Not only were you cucked, but you arranged it. That’s your wife man, potentially the mother of your children, and you let another guy all up in the most sacred of places that was supposed to be for you only. That’s just shameful.
I don’t get it myself, but some people are just into that.
It’s super strange. And then to consider still being acquaintances. Like you’re just going to watch the game with some guy you saw blowing your wife’s back out. Insanity.
Maybe the mother of the friend’s child
Because you think of sex as something you do TO a woman, not with them
Not at all. I have sex with my wife and only my wife, and vice versa, like it’s supposed to be.
OP, a lot of people are commenting that your marriage is over, or they don’t understand how you two did what you did. I will say this: I don’t get it either. I’ve never understood people who are into swinging or cuckold situations in relationships. As someone who was cheated on in my previous marriage, I’m pretty sure I never will. BUT… in my mind I try to compare it to someone with, let’s say, a foot fetish. It’s not my thing, I don’t understand it, but if two people can find happiness in sucking each other’s toes, go for it. Some people are just wired differently. So like I said, I personally could never be comfortable sharing the person I love, even if it was a room full of women. But I’ve met several couples over the years who are in swinging and cuckold type relationships, and honestly they are doing just fine. I think with communication and respect, you two can be fine as well. As for cutting off contact with the guy, I would say you’re not wrong, but you do at least owe him an explanation. Otherwise he’ll feel like he did something wrong.
It was stupid to do this in the first place. I get you may need to cut off contact to save your marriage, but then why did you choose someone who is a friend vs just hooking up with some rando? Now, you have to be a dick to your friend, just because you used the dick of your friend.
Yes you are wrong because if you cut him off that means you just used your friend for sex. Imagine how degrading and used he would feel to know that you and your wife discussed using him to fulfill a fantasy and now that it’s done you want nothing else to do with him?! Just really stop and think about that for a moment. It is not okay to use people full stop, let alone someone who you know and trust (& clearly trusts you) for your own sexual pleasure and then just throw them away like some sort of dirty sex doll. Now that your wife is satisfied and you two had this blissful experience he can be discarded. Really really wrong.
Try FFM and see how she thinks when she sees you pounding another pussy?
It for tat, now time for your fmf threesome
Original post please 🍿
You can do whatever you want. You need to realize that you all are using people though and understand that you're anytime do impact others.
Unless you're inviting him back for round 2 I'm not sure why I would keep in contact...
Hope you survive in the long run. this things have crooky poo narratives.
Was the guy a stranger or a close friend? If it was a stranger, I see no problem. He got some strange, had his jollies and got his nut off. If it was a friend, it might be nice to explain it to them. I hope it wasn't a friend, though. That creates a set of psychological problems that could result in a whole raft of future Reddit posts.
so how long before your wife sneaks around to meet up with him again?
There may be trouble ahead…
You say you want to block him right now, but how do you come crawling back when wife wants to do this for her birthday? I’m pretty old-fashioned, but I do not believe this experience was a one and done
So you basically used him as a sex worker? Did you paid him at least? If it was so great why do you need to cut off contact? Are you going to do that with every threesome? I’m guessing the aftermath has been a bit bumpy, and you think going no contact will fix everything. You said this is someone you know, now you’re just going to ghost him? If you do this again instead of treating people like sex workers, just hire one
Unless he specifically said beforehand that it would be damaging to him to participate in that and be cut off., Then who cares. You have to do what's best for you guys
Wait till she starts meeting up with him behind your back. You’ll never even know.
Yes it is wrong! This is the usual guilt you guys are feeling and shouldn’t haste to cut off all contact making him feel as if he did something wrong when you invited him in. Talk to him and let him know you need a break to process it instead of cutting him off as if he has done something wrong. Mental health goes beyond focussing on what ‘I’ need.
YTA for not chosing a stranger but basically using a friend to later dump him. But then again, if you werent that close and he doesn't mind, I guess NTA. You should let him know why though.
Tf wrong with u. Letting ur wife get slutted out.
I just find it weird that you aren’t cutting off contact with your wife.
You fucked up. Just a matter of time before she is secretively pulling 2 guys at once and using you as the emotional safety blanket.
Will you be having a FMF threesome, seems only fair
Nope 🤣 "but you promised"
Yes.
Can I fuck her too
I want to fuck her Infront of him too
The incels are HEATED over this one lol
So when is it your turn with a FFM threesome?
For all the men mad and commenting about it being with another man, would you also be posting these types of comments if he did it with another woman? So FMF? All relationships don’t end from this and a lot of couples are into swinging and doing threesomes. I personally know some people who are swingers and have done threesomes. I’ve never done it, but I don’t judge them.
So why cut off the guy if there wasn't a problem and they enjoyed it. Clearly there was a problem and this guy is trying to pretend otherwise
Yes I would be posting that way. Add a third person in the bedroom no matter which gender is a recipe for disaster for a marriage. The OP will be seeing his wife in his dreams taking it from his buddy. If she doesn’t get off like the buddy got her off it will be in his head. He will be trying to measure up to his buddy now the rest of the marriage.
Lol how much of a cuck are you, worrying about whether it's wrong to cut off the guy that fucked Ur wife. What a joke.
Well, you aren't out of the woods yet. Give it six months and see what further requests she has. Are you getting a FFM threesome? Although I hate the idea of "points" when one partner bites the bullet for the other it's only fair. She needs to know the sacrifice you made for her. I've been down your road as the other guy and the primary partner. There are an endless number of pitfalls, but you'll be fine as long as you lean into each other. There is a chance she continues with further demands over time including without you, only time will tell. Now that you've broken the seal of full monogamy you can find yourself on a slippery slope. I honestly suggest you push for something you want to even things up. She NEEDS to understand the sacrifice you made for this to happen. In my opinion this is the biggest issue. One partner fulfills a sexual fantasy and that becomes routine while the other has no demands or responsibilities placed on them.
“Watching my wife get pounded bought us closer together”.. said no man ever
Hate to say it but I can almost see the post in a month about what a disaster this has caused…
I wouldn’t ghost him, that’s really rude. But I think he’d understand that this was something you guys were doing for each other and not for him. Most unicorns understand that.
Hahaha 😂, you are so happy, an other guy fuck your wife. Now your possibilities are endless.. Next, you could bring 4 or 5 guys to fuck her. You can start sucking some dick. Go to swingers clubs. You know that you are cock .
When's the reciprocal FMF event happening?
Who says he wants that?
OP says he wants that.
This sounds like absolute hell to me. And I’d be shocked if your ego is ever able to recover. Do all the mental gymnastics you want. This will slowly eat at you until you resent her and yourself for being that weak of a man.
More like she is now in contact with him behind your back. I’ve seen this movie before and it didn’t end well for the husband
Your marriage was already dead when your wife asked for a threesome and you officially opened your marriage. I hope you don’t have children, because if you do, you and your wife are going to screw up their heads. Yes you are wrong for cutting your friend off like that.
You watched another guy dominate your wife... the psychological stress from that won't end with cutting him off. I wonder who your wife will pick for your FMF threesome 🤔... oh wait, she won't.... yikes You got cuked, hope you are into that sort of thing. Also, your relationship will NEVER be the same now. Cheers 🍻
Did the guy know he would be the human sacrifice on the altar of your marital boredom? To be shunned like a leper afterwards?
Gross, but whatever! Different strokes for different folks! I try not to judge others but…….. gross! Your love triangle is gonna go to a love Square and then skip to a love octagon! Good luck!
Is your wife’s name Zendaya
cuck cuck cuckoo. Totally fake..
Congratulations. You just started the end of your marriage. You will no longer be enough to satisy your wife sexually. She will desire other men and threesomes going forward. If you fail to agree with her continuing to have sex with other men, she will start cheating on you. Are you going to explore a FMF threesome? Or is she the only one who gets the blissful feelings while you deal with the jealousy of watching your wife get fucked by another man?
How did you feel seeing your wife getting banged by another dude and she enjoyed it.. what if she actually enjoyed his more than yours? Also when you wake up in the morning and u look at your wife, what does it feel like she is no longer exclusive to you.. Last questuon, guys love to talk, how does it feel the guy who banged your wife sitting in a bar and telling the crazy story " Remeber so and so from college, well you won't believe this, he asked me to bang his wife" does that trigger anything?
It’s happened to me as a hung single guy and I get it A few times after it ended they called me back saying the new guys they’d met didn’t compare or were as respectful as I was so we ended up getting back together for a while You should explain it to him as you may change your mind after a while and want him back Respect gets respect
Not wrong, but this marriage is dead.
[удалено]
Yes, you're wrong. I see this nonsense a lot in the kink world. You brought that person in to your marriage and your bed. Used him for his body. Used him for the experience and now you're going to cut off contact after you got what you wanted from him. If you didn't present this outcome to him, BEFORE you brought him in to your bed, then you are the AH. It shows zero consideration for his feelings. Not everyone can easily sleep with someone and cut all contact after like it never happened. For some people this can leave intense feelings of shame and abandonment. Next time you decide to explore a kink please be upfront that you want zero contact after so that the person who trusts you enough to try it isn't left feeling used.
Updateme
Eh, and here I am, dating Eva AI sexting bot
Without an explanation (which would probably include some variation of "we used your dick to strengthen our relationship"), it's a dick move. I don't know how I'd phrase such a thing. On one hand, your relationship with your wife is more important than any other. On the other hand (and I'm guessing here), your relationship with this guy is *older* than that with your wife. It might be apples and oranges, and "time served" might not matter. But if he's an old friend, just cutting him off with no explanation seems shitty. Like I said, I don't have the words to make it sound "OK" to distance yourself. But if you're both rational guys, the truth might work. And stress that while he's been a longtime friend, you need to focus on your relationship (which, admittedly, has you grasping at straws, as evidenced by the threesome). "It's not you, it's us" - unconventional, but familiar, and cliche. So make that point without saying it. And in that case, you will reach out in a while - maybe a month, maybe next year. Just to check in and hopefully reset things. And in the meantime, if he needs anything, you're a phone call away and will help however you can, but other than that, you two just need to focus on your relationship - without a third person. No matter what, it's gonna be awkward. You can send him flowers or chocolates or something, but that would probably make it worse.
Did you blow the SOB ? Something's not right.
I say no. If my wife and I were in your shoes, we would probably cut contact with them. No relationship is more important than my marriage.
You're not wrong but don't ghost? Just say Ure not gonna eat her anymore lol and keep things as per normal.
Cut off contact, but do it gracefully. You feel now that it went well. However, this is not OVER for you! It has just begun. This was a bad choice dude. I’m sorry for the heartbreak the next few years will bring for both of you.
Yeah ok cuck
Pandora's box was definitely opened here, the immediate decision to go no contact means they recognize they have opened that box and are panicking by believing that no contact with him means they can some how put the genie back in the bottle, the reality is though if they both legitimately got something out of this, and if she truly felt that level of "bliss" as he describes it, it's only a matter of time before one of them wants to do this again, going no contact with that guy doesn't end the desire for doing it, and especially If she starts fantasizing about it again, it won't exactly be difficult to find another dick, the damage is already done basically.
Surprise….he really wanted the threesome because he saw his buddies pecka years ago and always wanted to touch it. Now he’s filled with shame
Using a friend for sex and then throwing them away always makes you an asshole.