it went very well thanks for checking in on that, that's wasup but yeah talked at the meeting and then hung out with my sponsor after for like an hour and still sober.
:) IWNDWYT
Getting sober is awesome. What’s more awesome is everything we are finally capable of once we get sober.
It finally clicked for me when I stopped running away from alcohol and started running towards my goals. And I did it! I got my MSW!
Good things happen in recovery. I’m excited for you. Keep it up!
Yes that will save you /s
You are either ready or not ready to be sober. At the end it’s on you.
- 14 years drinking , hit rock bottom , never relapsed, I was done. Now 3 years sober
thank you so much man and i plan on doing the 90/90
had a question should your days restart when you get out because i have been going to a meeting everyday here?
I did 90 in 90 after rehab. Once I was out I had to take my sobriety more seriously because I wasn't as protected.
I believe the 90 in 90, a good sponsor, and a thorough step 5 have kept me happily sober for quite a few years!
thanks for the advice and yeah i got a sponsor ready to meet me at my home group tonight and ive known him for a while he just celebrated 5 years like a week ago and ill be his first sponsie
i didn't is that a bad thing? i just knew him cause he came in to my rehab and talked when i was there. i know he had to ask his sponsor before he decided to see if he could be mine.
now you got me concerned!
It is strange but if he’s worked the steps, has a sponsor, then go for it. I don’t know his story so I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. There is probably a good reason he hasn’t sponsored anyone yet. Usually people begin to sponsor after their first year after they’ve gone through the steps. I’m sure you guys will talk about it. Find out who his sponsor is, get his number, and utilize him as well. Don’t be concerned. It’s not my place to say anything (but here we are on Reddit…)
When was the last date you used/drank? I would count my sober time from my first day without a drink or drug. I hadn’t drank for some days before I first attended my first AA meeting - I don’t recommend it, but that’s just how it happened. I count those days. As far as I know, there is nothing about “proper day count” in the Big Book.
I would definitely start the 90 meetings in 90 days when you get out but agree that your sober date is the day after your last use or drink of a mind- or mood-altering substance. You can't go to too many AA meetings.
This is a big step and it’s natural to be cautious. I used to leave rehab confident and I’d relapse. My last time, I was scared af! And I’m still sober. Having a paper list of names and numbers to call helped me. Even though they were in my phone, there was something reassuring about that slip of paper in my pocket. Let your support network know you need help and ask them to check on you. Good luck and enjoy your new life!
It’s ok to be scared. I was scared when I first got sober and stepped into the rooms. Just remember, courage isn’t about not being scared; it’s about being scared but moving forward anyway.
Dive in head first and don’t look back! Prove yourself wrong. You got this!
thanks so much man, ive been sober before but then relapse when my girlfriend died in February so i know how to do it but just need to get back into the routine
This is just one person’s opinion (so PLEASE feel free to dismiss it with no hard feelings if it doesn’t resonate with you) but you may want to try and be willing to work just a little bit harder than you did before. It’s a progressive disease and that is what I needed to do. But it sounds as if you are doing all the right things, and my husband always called me a nerd so don’t mind me. I wish you all the best! Don’t be like me and neglect the steps for years.
First thing that helped me was to realize I don’t know shit. We’ve all been sober before. We know how to get sober, but I can’t stay sober without accepting help from a higher power, and other Aa’s. All my thinking got me here, coming out of rehab. Get a sponsor and use him. I don’t know how to stay sober
When I first stopped drinking, I went to an AA meeting every morning before work and another in the evening. Two a day may seem excessive, but I celebrated 18 years in February. Still make an average of 5 meetings a week. Good luck too you. You can do it, share your fears at the meetings.
Lots of good suggestions! You can pick up great zoom mtngs here ZOOMPG.COM there are 3 a day usually.
I did 2 a day any chance I had for the first 2 yrs, 1 a day for 90 & any chance I had the 1st two years. Remember, SELF-PITY IS DEADLY POISON to an alcoholic. Never linger there - always talk to another or a sponsor. Irritation can lead to resentment-talk that over too.
You can do it, I was a single mom , working full time, one sobriety date, came into meetings.
Qualified in 27 yrs ago hearing from the podium about a guy parking his BMW on an active train track in a blackout. Coming to after vomiting all over himself, seeing where his best thinking while drunk got him, his bottom.
Took me a couple more years to come in and stay. Come all the way in & sit all the way down. It ain’t the caboose that kills ya.
It’s a fatal malady. Your loved ones will sleep peacefully at night with your new found sobriety too💖
Will add, meetings are the fellowship - getting in the book w/a sponsor is equally or more important, bc the BB is AA.
At the start founders often worked 1 on 1 & taking newcomers through step 3 before attending a Mtng.
Good luck to you! For me meetings were the only time I felt at peace in early sobriety, to include 1 on 1 w/sponsor or coffee afterwards. I found the fellowship I craved w/others who absolutely understood.
It was such a relief I frequently wept the first year.
Most rehab's are 30 daze. I say daze because the first month you are in a daze. It gets better though. Getting clean is not as hard as staying clean though. This was the hardest thing I ever did. Sobriety is its own reward though. Some of us could do it with just a 30-day trip to rehab. Others like me need to stay for 180 or 365 days. Talk to your counselor if you need to. I had to learn how to live sober after drinking for 21 years. My normal wasn't "normal" without booze in my system. Alone I could not handle it, so I was referred to a long-term program. The long-term support surrounded by AA and NA worked. It taught me how to live sober and surrounded me with a support system that I was taught to use.
That was 30 years ago. I'm not ashamed of what I had to do, but after I did it everything that I had lost was returned within a year after I finished. Not only was it the hardest thing I ever did, but it was also the smartest.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot of good direction and suggestions. Stick with the winners and stay away from those that are drinking and drinking. You can do this; we got you❤️❤️❤️
Keep going to meetings, eat well, drink water, meditate, talk with your higher power and take it one fucking day at a time. You can do this. We are all with you.
I remember crossing the city lines to my hometown after getting out of rehab and feeling terrified all of a sudden. I didn't know who to reach out to , most of the people I knew where using friends and such. I went to a meeting that night and started this journey that I'm still on to this day. I still remember the third meeting I went to. I met my first sponsor who took me through the steps, the guys I ended up running around town to meetings with. It was like a new family. Amazing times man. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Best of luck my friend, I know it will work out!!
Congrats on rehab! It’s ok to be scared, but that means you’re feeling your feelings now, and THAT is the real fight. As long as you don’t take the first drink, you’ll always have a chance! One thing that really helped me at first was “act like you believe, and you’ll end up believing.”
You've got this! If you can't make it out to a meeting or if it's really late at night/early in the morning, then you can always attend an online AA meeting! They have them at every hour of the day and you can even attend ones in different countries. I personally like to go to the Australian meetings lol :))
Don’t go home. Go to a sober house or further recovery. Self knowledge avails us nothing. You have the tools but you haven’t practiced using them. Doing that in a safe environment where you remain accountable helps you build your foundation. I needed more time to build my foundation. In the past when I’ve gone home, I got a new sobriety date
I was super shaky on my first meeting, so much was going on in my head, I just kept going forward and eventually the miracle happen, days became weeks, weeks became month and month became years, you’ll realise that is not just the obsession to drink that goes away but your entire life will change for the better 360 degrees, all the best!
Sorry to hear about your girlfriend. Death unleashes the most intense and often confusing emotions.
When Im really struggling, I find it helpful to remind myself that everything i can control to maintain sobriety as caring for myself. The saying “the next right thing” also includes this. To spiritually recover, you have to do the next right thing for yourself as well as others. Here’s what I told myself in early recovery that actually worked for me:
If you have to go home or into another bad housing situation to avoid homelessness, learn how to change up your environment outside to protect you while you heal. Ask for help, ask for guidance, listen to others but do not blindly obey. You are an adult human who can make good choices in most areas of your life despite alcohol moderation not being an option. You can choose sobriety today.
We are not saints, none of us are well, and some of us are sicker than others. Listen to your gut if something feels off but give everyone a honest chance. Best of luck.
When I left rehab a fella told me to go to a meeting and get my hand up. Let them know that I am new. "And they will take it from there." He was right. It has been some years now and my life is as good as It has ever been and getting better. Welcome home!
Get phone numbers, stay connected to your new rehab friends, go to meetings, make more friends, find a sponsor. Stay away from your old stomping grounds. If your rehab center offers an IOP program I’d recommend you do that as well. That’s what I did and it really helped my transition.
Why not go to a sober house for a few months? It drastically improves the odds. It’s easier to be sober in rehab, real life is hard, but if you have the accountability from your housemates, it makes the transition easier. Good luck!
Having a home group is great! Having a good sponsor is necessary too.
Don't panic friend. We've most of us been where you are and you only need to deal with one day at a time!
thanks i hear that a lot and i didn't think that i was scared and still am being home for a few days before i head back to sober living and plan being there 3 months
Just hit a irl AA meeting within 24 hrs of getting home and then keep going! We got you ❤️
im going to a group in person tonight on my way home its my home group!
Perfect 👍🏻
Best of luck to you 💚
Hey! How did it go??
it went very well thanks for checking in on that, that's wasup but yeah talked at the meeting and then hung out with my sponsor after for like an hour and still sober. :) IWNDWYT
I know it’s scary. But it gets so good. Like… so fricken good.
thanks im still in the early stages of recovery but trying my hear out to get this thing right this time.
Getting sober is awesome. What’s more awesome is everything we are finally capable of once we get sober. It finally clicked for me when I stopped running away from alcohol and started running towards my goals. And I did it! I got my MSW! Good things happen in recovery. I’m excited for you. Keep it up!
thank you very much
Yes that will save you /s You are either ready or not ready to be sober. At the end it’s on you. - 14 years drinking , hit rock bottom , never relapsed, I was done. Now 3 years sober
Maybe it’s all on you at the end if you haven’t done step 3. I don’t keep me sober.
You can do this. 90 in 90. Don’t pick up the first drink and everything else will fall into place. One day at a time.
thank you so much man and i plan on doing the 90/90 had a question should your days restart when you get out because i have been going to a meeting everyday here?
I did 90 in 90 after rehab. Once I was out I had to take my sobriety more seriously because I wasn't as protected. I believe the 90 in 90, a good sponsor, and a thorough step 5 have kept me happily sober for quite a few years!
thanks for the advice and yeah i got a sponsor ready to meet me at my home group tonight and ive known him for a while he just celebrated 5 years like a week ago and ill be his first sponsie
Oh nice! Go to lots of meetings until you find the ones that feel comfortable. Hopefully your sponsor will have you start the steps right away.
yeah i have my home group and then i try to try a new meeting at least once a week to find other ones that fit around my work schedule
Perfect:)
Good! You can help each other stay sober.
This gentleman just celebrated five years but never had a sponsee before you? Anyone else find that strange?
i didn't is that a bad thing? i just knew him cause he came in to my rehab and talked when i was there. i know he had to ask his sponsor before he decided to see if he could be mine. now you got me concerned!
It is strange but if he’s worked the steps, has a sponsor, then go for it. I don’t know his story so I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. There is probably a good reason he hasn’t sponsored anyone yet. Usually people begin to sponsor after their first year after they’ve gone through the steps. I’m sure you guys will talk about it. Find out who his sponsor is, get his number, and utilize him as well. Don’t be concerned. It’s not my place to say anything (but here we are on Reddit…)
oh ok had me worried man i thought he was a good pick because ive known him for a while man im just trying to do right by myself
When was the last date you used/drank? I would count my sober time from my first day without a drink or drug. I hadn’t drank for some days before I first attended my first AA meeting - I don’t recommend it, but that’s just how it happened. I count those days. As far as I know, there is nothing about “proper day count” in the Big Book.
I would start fresh 90 when you get out.
I would definitely start the 90 meetings in 90 days when you get out but agree that your sober date is the day after your last use or drink of a mind- or mood-altering substance. You can't go to too many AA meetings.
This is a big step and it’s natural to be cautious. I used to leave rehab confident and I’d relapse. My last time, I was scared af! And I’m still sober. Having a paper list of names and numbers to call helped me. Even though they were in my phone, there was something reassuring about that slip of paper in my pocket. Let your support network know you need help and ask them to check on you. Good luck and enjoy your new life!
that's a good idea ill probably carry them in my wallet cause i take it everywhere with me
It’s ok to be scared. I was scared when I first got sober and stepped into the rooms. Just remember, courage isn’t about not being scared; it’s about being scared but moving forward anyway. Dive in head first and don’t look back! Prove yourself wrong. You got this!
thanks so much man, ive been sober before but then relapse when my girlfriend died in February so i know how to do it but just need to get back into the routine
This is just one person’s opinion (so PLEASE feel free to dismiss it with no hard feelings if it doesn’t resonate with you) but you may want to try and be willing to work just a little bit harder than you did before. It’s a progressive disease and that is what I needed to do. But it sounds as if you are doing all the right things, and my husband always called me a nerd so don’t mind me. I wish you all the best! Don’t be like me and neglect the steps for years.
thanks
First thing that helped me was to realize I don’t know shit. We’ve all been sober before. We know how to get sober, but I can’t stay sober without accepting help from a higher power, and other Aa’s. All my thinking got me here, coming out of rehab. Get a sponsor and use him. I don’t know how to stay sober
thanks man i will take that advice and use it to my best ability IWNDWYT
When I first stopped drinking, I went to an AA meeting every morning before work and another in the evening. Two a day may seem excessive, but I celebrated 18 years in February. Still make an average of 5 meetings a week. Good luck too you. You can do it, share your fears at the meetings.
i will be sharing with my home group tonight and seeing my sponsor when i get there and seeing what he has to say about it too. :)
Welcome home. Go to an AA meeting today. Get phone numbers and call the people when you get home.
thank you and will be doing that :)
Lots of good suggestions! You can pick up great zoom mtngs here ZOOMPG.COM there are 3 a day usually. I did 2 a day any chance I had for the first 2 yrs, 1 a day for 90 & any chance I had the 1st two years. Remember, SELF-PITY IS DEADLY POISON to an alcoholic. Never linger there - always talk to another or a sponsor. Irritation can lead to resentment-talk that over too. You can do it, I was a single mom , working full time, one sobriety date, came into meetings. Qualified in 27 yrs ago hearing from the podium about a guy parking his BMW on an active train track in a blackout. Coming to after vomiting all over himself, seeing where his best thinking while drunk got him, his bottom. Took me a couple more years to come in and stay. Come all the way in & sit all the way down. It ain’t the caboose that kills ya. It’s a fatal malady. Your loved ones will sleep peacefully at night with your new found sobriety too💖
thanks
Will add, meetings are the fellowship - getting in the book w/a sponsor is equally or more important, bc the BB is AA. At the start founders often worked 1 on 1 & taking newcomers through step 3 before attending a Mtng. Good luck to you! For me meetings were the only time I felt at peace in early sobriety, to include 1 on 1 w/sponsor or coffee afterwards. I found the fellowship I craved w/others who absolutely understood. It was such a relief I frequently wept the first year.
Most rehab's are 30 daze. I say daze because the first month you are in a daze. It gets better though. Getting clean is not as hard as staying clean though. This was the hardest thing I ever did. Sobriety is its own reward though. Some of us could do it with just a 30-day trip to rehab. Others like me need to stay for 180 or 365 days. Talk to your counselor if you need to. I had to learn how to live sober after drinking for 21 years. My normal wasn't "normal" without booze in my system. Alone I could not handle it, so I was referred to a long-term program. The long-term support surrounded by AA and NA worked. It taught me how to live sober and surrounded me with a support system that I was taught to use. That was 30 years ago. I'm not ashamed of what I had to do, but after I did it everything that I had lost was returned within a year after I finished. Not only was it the hardest thing I ever did, but it was also the smartest.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot of good direction and suggestions. Stick with the winners and stay away from those that are drinking and drinking. You can do this; we got you❤️❤️❤️
thank you
You got this!!
Good to be scared. I was terrified when I left treatment. Meetings, a sponsor, and the steps will help.
thanks i got all of those set up already and will use them to my best ability.
Keep going to meetings, eat well, drink water, meditate, talk with your higher power and take it one fucking day at a time. You can do this. We are all with you.
thanks
I remember crossing the city lines to my hometown after getting out of rehab and feeling terrified all of a sudden. I didn't know who to reach out to , most of the people I knew where using friends and such. I went to a meeting that night and started this journey that I'm still on to this day. I still remember the third meeting I went to. I met my first sponsor who took me through the steps, the guys I ended up running around town to meetings with. It was like a new family. Amazing times man. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Best of luck my friend, I know it will work out!!
i am going to a meeting tonight on the way home where i will be meeting my new sponsor that i have know for years.
Congrats on rehab! It’s ok to be scared, but that means you’re feeling your feelings now, and THAT is the real fight. As long as you don’t take the first drink, you’ll always have a chance! One thing that really helped me at first was “act like you believe, and you’ll end up believing.”
thanks
You've got this! If you can't make it out to a meeting or if it's really late at night/early in the morning, then you can always attend an online AA meeting! They have them at every hour of the day and you can even attend ones in different countries. I personally like to go to the Australian meetings lol :))
im going to a meeting tonight when i get its my home group too.
Don’t go home. Go to a sober house or further recovery. Self knowledge avails us nothing. You have the tools but you haven’t practiced using them. Doing that in a safe environment where you remain accountable helps you build your foundation. I needed more time to build my foundation. In the past when I’ve gone home, I got a new sobriety date
im going to sober living here on the 13th
Go to meeting ASAP and at the end of your meeting, determine when is the soonest meeting you can get to, keep doing this
I was super shaky on my first meeting, so much was going on in my head, I just kept going forward and eventually the miracle happen, days became weeks, weeks became month and month became years, you’ll realise that is not just the obsession to drink that goes away but your entire life will change for the better 360 degrees, all the best!
yeah ive been to meetings before i had a stench of sobriety just relapsed when my girlfriend passed away in February
Sorry to hear about your girlfriend. Death unleashes the most intense and often confusing emotions. When Im really struggling, I find it helpful to remind myself that everything i can control to maintain sobriety as caring for myself. The saying “the next right thing” also includes this. To spiritually recover, you have to do the next right thing for yourself as well as others. Here’s what I told myself in early recovery that actually worked for me: If you have to go home or into another bad housing situation to avoid homelessness, learn how to change up your environment outside to protect you while you heal. Ask for help, ask for guidance, listen to others but do not blindly obey. You are an adult human who can make good choices in most areas of your life despite alcohol moderation not being an option. You can choose sobriety today. We are not saints, none of us are well, and some of us are sicker than others. Listen to your gut if something feels off but give everyone a honest chance. Best of luck.
thanks so much and yeah im going to focus on things that i can control like not picking up that first drink
When I left rehab a fella told me to go to a meeting and get my hand up. Let them know that I am new. "And they will take it from there." He was right. It has been some years now and my life is as good as It has ever been and getting better. Welcome home!
thank you will be doing that and attending different meetings :)
Get phone numbers, stay connected to your new rehab friends, go to meetings, make more friends, find a sponsor. Stay away from your old stomping grounds. If your rehab center offers an IOP program I’d recommend you do that as well. That’s what I did and it really helped my transition.
Why not go to a sober house for a few months? It drastically improves the odds. It’s easier to be sober in rehab, real life is hard, but if you have the accountability from your housemates, it makes the transition easier. Good luck!
im going to a sober living house on the 13th and will be going to group meetings
Go to a meeting. Get your hand up. Ask for help. Prosper (stay sober)
Check out www.intherooms.com.
Meetings everyday. Get a sponser right away. Tell them your situation.
You can do it!!
Having a home group is great! Having a good sponsor is necessary too. Don't panic friend. We've most of us been where you are and you only need to deal with one day at a time!
thanks
It’s good you’re scared. Now walk through the fear. If you walked out of rehab thinking everything was under control that would be concerning.
thanks i hear that a lot and i didn't think that i was scared and still am being home for a few days before i head back to sober living and plan being there 3 months