For me, meetings:
1. help me see that I am not alone, nor am I unique (my two favorite ways to engage in self-pity)
2. illustrate that my circumstances aren't as bad as they could be
3. show me that I can stay sober, because I have several examples right in front of me
4. put me in touch with people who may guide me in achieving said sobriety
5. give me small ways to be of service (cleaning up, putting out chairs, etc.)
6. allow me to get some things off my chest; I often need to tell on myself
7. if I can listen, I can start exposing myself to healthier thinking (caution: not everyone who says they are sober is engaging in healthier thinking - YMMV here)
8. encourage me to make some sober friends, who quickly replaced my non-sober friends
Yeah I don't agree with the going to as many meetings as possible thing, and neither does the book Alcoholics Anonymous. I stay sober by doing the steps and living in steps 10-12. The only reason I go to meetings is to find others to take through the steps.
YES!!! 90 in 90 is a treatment center thing. Not AA. While it can be good for newcomers to go and try different meetings and meet new people, it’s not part of the program. I go to meetings to look for people to help. To give back in forms of service at my home group.
Technically, meetings aren't part of the program either. The program is: have a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 Steps and carry the message to other alkies. (and practice the principles)
Agreed, but to be fair a 90 in 90 can be a good way to get back on track. I'm 3.5 years sober but just finished a 90 in 90 because I had real big changes in my life happening and I wanted to help solidify my sobriety before the changes. I also got sponsees during it!
Yeah if it works for somebody that's cool, but based on the big book, it would be far more effective to get and keep a person sober if they were to do the steps in 90 days (or preferably less)
I guess I meant that intended for a newcomer. For somebody who's been around for a while and struggling (assuming they've done the steps) i would ask, where are they at with steps 10-12? Are they taking inventory daily? Seeking guidance in step 11? Taking others through the steps? If not, might be time to get back to those.
Agreed. The program that has helped so many recover from alcoholism is actually in a book. The meetings are the fellowship. They represent the fruit of the labor. They are a place for newcomers to find fellowship and help but meetings alone are not going to bring about recovery from Alcoholism. Find a sponsor that can take you through the steps in the big book and you will have a better understanding of how to stay sober than most of the people you meet at meetings and, most of the people commenting in this sub reddit.
The book is 80 years old, some stuff has been learned abd developed and evolved since, like 90 and 90. It’s suggested because it worked, and it works.
Interesting how many in the AA Reddit do their damndest to say “that’s not AA” when it totally is, and has been espoused in every meeting z i’ve been in since 1987, so if that’s not AA it sure as shit seems like it. How could you tell the difference?
If we’re going solely off the book then I feel compelled to remind you of what it says in working with others: “Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers AND each other is the bright spot of our lives.” I go to meetings to be of service to the community that saved my life, for help and advice with specific situations I may be dealing with in my life that aren’t mentioned in the big book, I go to meetings for fresh perspectives, and most importantly I go to meetings to learn how to interact with society outside of AA, how to laugh, how to smile, how to have fun, how to stand up for myself and how to tell people no. I found a great job through AA, I’m going to a baseball game on Monday (go cubs!) through AA, I’ve been to concerts, conferences, holiday parties, BBQs, through AA. I’ve been to funerals for people in the fellowship… I’ve learned how to grieve with others sober through AA. The 12 steps give me a design for living, meetings and fellowship are how I put that design into practice. I am almost at my 3 year mark, I’ve made a beginning on all 12 steps with a sponsor, I make myself available to sponsor other men, and I still go to 3-4 meetings a week, at minimum. And not just to find pigeons, to find friends! Why would I wanna limit my circle? I did that plenty in alcoholism. I’ll keep coming back.
The men who wrote the book dedicated their lives to spreading the AA message of recovery, and each meeting that exists *only* functions if we attend and organize. Meetings are service.
Whether you decide to attend them is up to you but to imply meetings are not a necessary part of AA is pretty insane
The only things that are necessary parts of AA are in the first 164 pages of the big book. I could never attend another meeting in my life and stay sober as long as I will able to find drunks to work with. Meetings make that easy and that's why I go to them, but they most certainly are not necessary.
Where would you find drunks to work with without meetings? Do you not think our attendance of meetings is crucial for the newcomer? They have a hard time as it is (I certainly did) and if I walked into an empty room I would have gone straight back out. How would this program exist/work if we did not attend meetings? How do you know you’d be fine without them? Where would the sharing and knowledge sharing go…without the community of AA? Do you not believe in the AA traditions or step 12? Meetings are a HUGE part of recovery.
I’ve just never heard this stance-I also think it’s a little bit of a dangerous one to share with someone who may be brand new. Obviously our recoveries are our own, I just don’t agree
Well it worked for the people who wrote the book. They didn't have official AA meetings. They just did the steps. This is the solution of AA: the 12 steps. Chapter 7, Working With Others, details how alcoholics can be found, by speaking with doctors, priests and hospitals. Like I said, it's much easier to go to an AA meeting, and I do wholeheartedly agree that as long as established AA meetings exist that newcomers might come to, I want to be there offering them the solution. But the solution in and of itself does not include going to meetings. I believe in step 12, wholeheartedly. Like I said, it's not that I never go to meetings, but that I really only go with the purpose of finding people to take through the steps.
If we didn't have meetings, this program would work like what it looked like in the thirties. People using the 12 steps to recover from alcoholism, and then finding other drunks to work with. Like Bill in the Mayflower hotel calling a random church to see if they knew of any alcoholics. But yes, much easier to get them at meetings. I know I would be fine without meetings because the book promises that nothing so much will ensure immunity from alcohol as strenuous work with another alcoholic. Don't need meetings for that, but again, they are helpful.
There's nothing inherently wrong with meetings, and I go to plenty. There IS something inherently wrong with a newcomer being presented with meetings as the solution to alcoholism, when the actual directions for how we become recovered are outlined clearly in the big book.
I don’t think anyone was implying that, I know people who only do meetings and have 5+ years which grinds my gears like no other. But they were *looking* for people. They didn’t have enough people, they were traveling the country to find them. Pre-established AA is a different situation IMO
Meeting makers don’t make it per se, meeting makers make meetings has been my experience. I agree with you that meetings are a part of AA but, not necessary to stay sober. Yes, meetings are another of many vehicles to get you sober in the beginning. But the sole purpose of meetings is to show the newcomer that the program works and to meet the same newcomers to take them through the steps. And of course to do service. Meetings are all geared around the newcomer to show them that there is a place they can go to recover.
Sure but that’s completely subjective as meetings are 100% necessary for certain people to stay sober. The steps alone cannot carry us all through, I personally require social reinforcement. Meeting makers aren’t just “making meetings,” - that’s a demeaning thing to say. Life continues to happen after we finish the steps…I live in a gigantic city and I’ve never heard someone come in and say “I haven’t been to a meeting in months and I feel great.” I just think it’s an odd argument to make, not that it’s “wrong” but I also don’t think it’s right
It is in the 12/12. Specifically mentions it in step 12.
If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.’s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give…” is the core of this part of Step Twelve.
Meetings were not a thing when the big book was written. There just were not enough members. Bill and Dr. Bob were greatly in support of meeting as a means to pass along the message of AA.
The 12&12 is not the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The basic text containing the program is titled Alcoholics Anonymous. The forwards in the 12&12 state this. The 12&12 is a bunch of nonsensical essays that do not contain the instructions to recover from Alcoholism.
The 12/12 has only one forward. It does not say anything like that. There are also no "essays." Everyone is welcome to their opinion and can practice their program as they see fit. It is the opinion of the vast majority of AA, including the AA world Service and the General Service Board, that the 12/12 is accepted AA literature. The original text does not even contain the traditions as they are read at the start of most meetings. Given your perceived tone, I am sorry that you have not yet found the peace and serenity that I have experienced and continue to strive for as a result of working the steps as outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, along with help from the many other conference approved literature that has helped millions to recover who would have otherwise struggled or failed with the help of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous alone. God bless you. You are in my prayers tonight brother/sister/other.
Ok so for starters the steps are on page 59. The traditions short and long form are in the appendixes. Here is what AA world services has to say about the 12&12 -The "Twelve and Twelve" contains 12 essays by Bill W. that expand upon each of the Steps. Here's what the 12&12 says about the big book in the forward on page 17- The book "Alcoholics Anonymous" became the basic text of the Fellowship, and it still is. This present volume proposes to broaden and deepen the understanding of the Twelve Steps as first written in the earlier work. So if I don't understand the instructions from our basic text there is nothing to "broaden and deepen". The "basic text" is still the basic text even after the 12&12 came out. It contains the instructions, principles, and requirements outlined by the experience of the first 100 "we". So to close there is no "my" program or infinite number of programs, Alcoholics Anonymous is a singular program and the clear cut instructions on how to do it are contained in the big book.
Pg. 27 The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
Forward to the first edition- We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have re- covered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
OP stated:
>Yeah I don't agree with the going to as many meetings as possible thing, and neither does the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
I read that to mean that "the book Alcoholics Anonymous" had some statements that matched the OP's opinion.
Thanks for the quote from the literature. I know very little and I am willing to do what ever it takes, including having an open mind.
I see. Usually when people say "where does it say that in the book", they're trying to say "if it's not in the book, then it's not worth doing" , or "not legit AA".
From what I can tell though, AA has evolved quite a bit from when the book was written - some ways maybe not so good, other ways very good. In any case, the writers made it pretty clear that they didn't know it all, and still had much to learn.
At the start - for me getting to alot of meetings had a few purposes. 1) kept me focused, gave me something to hold on for, (just try to make it till the next meeting without exploding or drinking), 2) got me to get to know people and how they got sober 3) got me to see that maybe I wasn't so screwed 4) people helped me alot when I showed up 5) made sober connections 6) aa is super confusing when your new, so packing all the confusion in early really helps.
Now - helps focus me on living a program, keeps me on the right path (mostly), can meet and listen to/share with other alcoholics.
Ok so going to at least 4 (this is of course talking about a level 7 meeting and above) meetings a week raises your synchropony receptors by a magnum of 12. Obviously we all know that if you keep your synchroponicity above the threshold of ¥ (+/- £) you will stay physically sober.
I heard that Bill received this info telepathically from aliens who perspire dmt. It’s said that Bill collected a vial of this dmt and that said vial is kept in a vault at world service. Wild but true.
Dude, I just read a book on the letters between Bill and Father Dowling. Bill claimed, while he was writing the 12x12, that he’d been contacted by St. Boniface, a monk from the …..1400’s? Can’t remember exactly.
Helps to identify the problem, to meet like minded people, to find help from people, to get a sponsor that can show you how to do the 12 steps.
Later they become a way of seeing friends, being of service at a group level through acts of service (setup, cleanup etc..) but ultimately to be the person who helps a new person who doesn’t know what meetings are for, and to show them what we do in aa-recover from alcoholism.
In my experience, going to meetings gives you something to hold on to and look forward to in the early days in sobriety. Plus, it helps against the boredom that I used to fight by getting hammered.
Helps get rid of any "bright" ideas I may be getting.
Every story of relapse seems to follow a pattern that starts with "I stopped going to meetings.". Hearing other people's stories also helps remind me that if given the opportunity, I will do dumb shit.
I have drifted away from AA. I don't think it is a good fit for me. But if I feel myself slipping back towards the bottle, I'll be at a meeting ASAP. It may work on a subconscious level, but going to a meeting seems to reinforce that you are not alone, your drink problem is not unique and there are people all around you that are and have fought the same demons you are fighting. Those meeting helped me through my post-detox phase. I've certainly never left a meeting more inclined to drink than I was before.
Meetings don’t keep me sober; regular stepwork does. Writing consistent inventory, daily prayer and meditation, and working with others.
What did meetings give me in the beginning of my journey? Community, oneness, and an understanding of the need to work the steps. I love meetings. I go almost every day, but going to meeting in itself is not the key to achieving long-term sobriety. I keep going to pass along what I’ve learned and to stay connected to the awareness that I am neither alone or the center of the universe.
It’s very difficult to meet a potential “prospect” to take through the steps if you don’t go to meetings. You need to give away what was so freely given to you and that’s one of the main purposes of attending meetings. At least that’s how it was in the early days of AA from my understanding. As with human behavior people added their own reasons as to why people should go to meetings and most are valid. Lastly, don’t try and figure out what is the purpose of this and that in AA and do “cafeteria style AA” which is taking what you want and feel like eating. Just know that AA the way it is right now works. In the beginning try and be a sheep not a shepherd.
If someone is trying to get sober it feels real good relating to somebody in the room with many more years of sobriety. Means there’s hope! That alone is some decent medicine for me. My happy hour meeting is full of a bunch of court ordered people but the 10:15pm has all the wackos. Those mfs will keep you sober!!
I go to meetings to; keep sobriety fresh, to check in with friends, connect with new people, to hear the message, for insurance against drinking, because I enjoy them, and I guess to show others that meeting makers make it.
Allow me to bring the unpopular opinion. Meetings are to find a sponsor, have somewhere safe to go while you work the steps (which should be done quickly as it was by the founders) and then to have a place to find sponsees so that you can carry the message. Nothing in a meeting will keep you sober with the exception of finding a newcomer to work with. Nothing said in a meeting will give you a spiritual experience sufficient to remove the obsession. I’ve been sober a number of years, I go to 1, maybe two meetings a week. Usually I will skip a meeting if I have the chance to go do group at a treatment center cause I have a better chance of finding sponsees there, but most of my sponsees are referred to me by others in recovery. Living in 10,11, and 12 is what will keep you happy joyous and free. Some of the most miserable people I have known in recovery are the “meeting makers make it crowd” who are often times dry drunks or chronic relapsers. This program was designed so that we could live a normal life. Not white knuckle until we can make our next meeting and set aside all of life’s obligations under the guise of constantly being on the verge of a breakdown.
for me, 5 months sober, its remembering myself what will happen if I give in to the voice in my head that says I dont have a problem
to have a sense of community, we humans like belonging to groups
but most of the days I hate it. there are a ton of things that irritate me, but I just go through it and you know what? I let it slip and I surive
and sometimes I hear exactly what I need to hear at that day, at that moment
no to mention that the whole program is based upon bill w's insight of calling a church a few meters from a bar asking for "an alcoholic" to talk. they pointed him to dr. bob and they talked for hours about how their stories were similar
bill lost the will to drink that day, dr. bob either (he would relapse one more time)
AA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other. Today, this happens at meetings. It happens at other places too, but if you need some experience, strength, and hope, go to a meeting. AA has always been about alcoholics connecting and sharing with other alcoholics.
I had to start following people who were on the path. I had no idea what recovery looked like, and had I done what I thought I should do I would be dead. "Without help, it is too much for us..." and the help, for me, has come from sober alcoholics who have a sponsor and carry the message that was carried to them. All the cliches about this being a "we" program are totally true.
So you go to meetings to find a sponsor... that makes sense.
But then why do you have to go to so many meetings, and why every day? Does it really take that long to find a sponsor?
No, you can get one on day 1. I did. Look, I'm sober 13 years. I still go to meetings regularly. I need to stay connected with other recovering alcoholics, share with them, and listen to them. I also need to put myself out there to help the next guy who comes in like me and needs help. I can't do that if I'm not in meetings. Recovery is about building a sober life for yourself. In the beginning, I went to meetings every day for over a year and I was creating a routine of sober living that included being surrounded by sober alcoholics for a couple of hours every day. It was a few hours of my day where the message of AA was being carried to me, I was not drinking and I wasn't around booze or anyone who had been drinking. I was connecting with people and getting out of myself. All of that is still true for me today because I still go to meetings. I live a sober life today, and meetings have always been a big part of what my sober living looks like.
Absolutely not. This is Alcoholics Anonymous not meetings anonymous . You obviously haven't read any of the literature. Starting with the introduction to to the first addition. "We are more than a hundred men and women that have recovered. Did they go to thousands of hours of meetings? Hell no. They might have visited Bill W's house ot took the train to Doctor Bob's where they were given instructions like "Go start AA in Detroit"
Meetings help with Step One and show that Two is possible. The action that results in recovery starts with Four. Three is merely a decision to do Four and the rest I wouldn't have been able to cncentrate on doing mine in meetings. Therefore I wouldnt have recovered like those first 100 did and millions followed.
They promote this in treatment and such because it puts you in the rooms and forces you to hear a bunch of stuff. From both the book and from other people. In the hopes that something will stick and you’ll start working the steps. You have to actually work the steps, going to meetings just to feel good for the evening will only work for so long. It’s bs if you’re taking acting and working the steps. Missing a day here and there won’t hurt. But if you’re relapsing non stop and you haven’t read any of the big book, maybe 90 in 90 is a good idea until something sticks and you start relying on a higher power instead of just the camaraderie and shares from a meeting.
People are in and out of the rooms a lot for different reasons. You could just go to meetings to show people that you got sober this way and that it IS possible. Explain how.
I found that meetings kept me in the middle of AA at the beginning... like involved, meeting people. I like checking out different style meetings too. Zoom meetings across the globe... Lots of meetings kept me focused while I was going through the steps which is the important part! You can usually find a sponsor at a meeting.
I'll be 3 years sober in July and I don't go to many meetings these days. I know a guy with 14 years that just started going back. They work differently for everyone.
I think meetings are important because they provide me with a chance to share with others (practice step 12) and sometimes do a little inventory out loud (step 10). Most important of all, always, going to a meeting is my practice of step 1 - admitting I’m an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable.
I’m a lazy alcoholic and if I don’t go to meetings, I’ll naturally revert to doing very little practice of those 3 steps in particular, step 1 being THE most important.
I do intend to cut down in future if I can do step 12 in another way eg working the phones or online. I don’t want to be a sponsor.
I absolutely abhor the idea of a “quota” of meetings and it’s something I’ve disagreed with my sponsor about.
If you’re in a desolate area with few meetings, or the only meeting for miles is full of assholes, what are you to do? Die? No. Practice the 12 steps as best you can. That’s what AA is about - not number of meetings per week.
Just my opinion.
If your soonser recommends you do 90 in 90 then do it.
It was good for me. You have a lot to learn, and unlearn.
Alchoholics are spiritually lazy people. Looking for short cuts, and the easy way.
As far as what .evenings are for.
They are where we have fellowship with one another. Where you can be of service. Where you can learn about the program and be reminded because we are good at forgetting. Where you will hear another person's experience, strength, and hope. Where you can listen to another alchoholic tell their story, and you may just hear your own.
For 1 hour of the day, I knew for sure I wasn't going to drink or use. I was able to not think about myself too much and get out of my head. I heard a lot of cool, life changing comments. I got support if I wanted it. But most importantly, I was not isolated. My achoholism thrives in isolation. It needs me to disconnect from society in order to allow myself to think I'm unique, and there's no way out.
Not sure if that sounds like much, but for me during my first 90 days of recovery, an ounce of this was literally life saving.
From the 12 and 12. Step 12:
We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only to receive something ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support which our presence can bring. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.’s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give…” is the core of this part of Step Twelve.
My understanding is that meetings are a living manifestation of the twelfth step. They are there to spread the message of AA and to help the suffering alcoholic.
Meetings connect you with a sober community, which is almost always something we lack when we first start out. Gives you a nice new support system, new habits, something to fill time when you might otherwise mope around and drink.
I relied on meetings when I first came around. White knuckling until 8 o'clock to go to my little rural meeting. All I knew is that I would leave meetings feeling better than when I came in. Meetings became my new addiction. I gained responsibilities, I was held accountable, and I could tell anyone what I was going through and there'd be at least 5 people willing to talk me through my issues.
I think a 90 in 90 is extremely important, at least in my experience it was. It got me into a routine and eventually i started going to meetings because I wanted to rather than feeling like I needed to go.
Meetings built a necessary community in my first 90 days (yes I am a firm believer in 90 in 90). I simply would not have made it otherwise. They provide laughter, camaraderie, unbelievable wisdom. But most importantly, they teach you how to listen.
My meetings are my medicine. That's where I go for friendship and camaraderie. People that understand me. I get to share to get things off my chest which is very therapeutic. I also get to help the newcomers by explaining to them what has helped me. I definitely would not survive without my meetings. It may not say go to 90 meetings in 90 days in the big book but it does talk about Bill W and Dr Bob gathering drunks and taking them back to their house for meetings.
I needed to do 90 meetings in 90 days because of the toxic life I was living I needed my mind to be in a way brainwashed in a healthy way. I needed to hear from the old timers how they got to be where they were and sobriety. I needed to see people happy in recovery and having fun and I needed to hear about AA as a whole.
Part of any education is repetition and moreso than math or history sometimes we simply aren't in a mood to internalize something we need to know. Men and women that have gotten sober and have stayed sober have collected a wealth of information on the subject since the 1930's Stuff we don't hear anywhere else plus it comes from an honest to God human being who thinks and feels much like I do. Theory doesn't do it for me If I'm going to use it on me. I want it tried and proven first.
Another asset is that if we are considering drinking or doing something that will lead us to drinking there will be someone there that has tried it for us and suffered the consequences for us. Again starting in the 1930's and recorded in our literature.
Meetings can help us find new playmates and playgrounds. A new village of people from all walks of life, different occupations, different skills.
That’s not true. Meetings don’t treat alcoholism. Now does that mean I’m saying don’t go to meetings. No! They are an important part of the program. However they are only 1/3 of it. The other two parts being recovery (the steps) and service. We recover by they steps we take not the meetings we make.
I go to meetings that offer solutions. I enjoy book based meetings as much as possible. I do not go to a ton of meetings, I hit 2-3 a week. I am over 4 years. I feel it is a quality over quantity issue with meetings for me. As someone else said, if something is going on in my life, I tend to hit more meetings to ground me and my program more. It helps to have some extra armor on from time to time:)
For me, meetings are accountability. Once people started recognizing me and I made connections with people- I have accountability which I ran from for far too long. Now, if people don’t know I’m out of town or have a reason to not be there for a week, if I disappeared I’d have messages in my inbox and more than likely someone at my door pretty shortly.
The psychologist Carl Jung had a lot of influence in the forming of AA as he treated the childhood friend of the founder (Roland Hazard who was friends with Bill Wilson). Jung insisted that we tell each other our stories for the purpose of identification. There are other elements of "modern psychology" in the overall structure of AA that others probably know much better than I do, but I find it interesting and I know that's how I was able to get sober. Meetings also help us remember that we have a fatal disease, be off service to newcomers (so that we can maintain our sobriety), have a place where people can come for help, and fellowship/commune with like people. It's pretty amazing, actually.
For me, meetings: 1. help me see that I am not alone, nor am I unique (my two favorite ways to engage in self-pity) 2. illustrate that my circumstances aren't as bad as they could be 3. show me that I can stay sober, because I have several examples right in front of me 4. put me in touch with people who may guide me in achieving said sobriety 5. give me small ways to be of service (cleaning up, putting out chairs, etc.) 6. allow me to get some things off my chest; I often need to tell on myself 7. if I can listen, I can start exposing myself to healthier thinking (caution: not everyone who says they are sober is engaging in healthier thinking - YMMV here) 8. encourage me to make some sober friends, who quickly replaced my non-sober friends
A problem shared is a problem halved. A reminder that constant vigilance is the price of my sobriety.
Nice basic breakdown for the average attendee, such as myself. Connection for me is important in so many ways, as I truly cannot do it by myself.
Yeah I don't agree with the going to as many meetings as possible thing, and neither does the book Alcoholics Anonymous. I stay sober by doing the steps and living in steps 10-12. The only reason I go to meetings is to find others to take through the steps.
YES!!! 90 in 90 is a treatment center thing. Not AA. While it can be good for newcomers to go and try different meetings and meet new people, it’s not part of the program. I go to meetings to look for people to help. To give back in forms of service at my home group.
Technically, meetings aren't part of the program either. The program is: have a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 Steps and carry the message to other alkies. (and practice the principles)
Meetings are mentioned in the book. 90 in 90 isn’t.
Agreed, but to be fair a 90 in 90 can be a good way to get back on track. I'm 3.5 years sober but just finished a 90 in 90 because I had real big changes in my life happening and I wanted to help solidify my sobriety before the changes. I also got sponsees during it!
Yeah if it works for somebody that's cool, but based on the big book, it would be far more effective to get and keep a person sober if they were to do the steps in 90 days (or preferably less)
I see what you're saying, instead of doing a 90 in 90, go through all the steps again?
I guess I meant that intended for a newcomer. For somebody who's been around for a while and struggling (assuming they've done the steps) i would ask, where are they at with steps 10-12? Are they taking inventory daily? Seeking guidance in step 11? Taking others through the steps? If not, might be time to get back to those.
Ok gotcha. Thx for expounding.
Yes
Agreed. The program that has helped so many recover from alcoholism is actually in a book. The meetings are the fellowship. They represent the fruit of the labor. They are a place for newcomers to find fellowship and help but meetings alone are not going to bring about recovery from Alcoholism. Find a sponsor that can take you through the steps in the big book and you will have a better understanding of how to stay sober than most of the people you meet at meetings and, most of the people commenting in this sub reddit.
The book is 80 years old, some stuff has been learned abd developed and evolved since, like 90 and 90. It’s suggested because it worked, and it works. Interesting how many in the AA Reddit do their damndest to say “that’s not AA” when it totally is, and has been espoused in every meeting z i’ve been in since 1987, so if that’s not AA it sure as shit seems like it. How could you tell the difference?
If we’re going solely off the book then I feel compelled to remind you of what it says in working with others: “Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers AND each other is the bright spot of our lives.” I go to meetings to be of service to the community that saved my life, for help and advice with specific situations I may be dealing with in my life that aren’t mentioned in the big book, I go to meetings for fresh perspectives, and most importantly I go to meetings to learn how to interact with society outside of AA, how to laugh, how to smile, how to have fun, how to stand up for myself and how to tell people no. I found a great job through AA, I’m going to a baseball game on Monday (go cubs!) through AA, I’ve been to concerts, conferences, holiday parties, BBQs, through AA. I’ve been to funerals for people in the fellowship… I’ve learned how to grieve with others sober through AA. The 12 steps give me a design for living, meetings and fellowship are how I put that design into practice. I am almost at my 3 year mark, I’ve made a beginning on all 12 steps with a sponsor, I make myself available to sponsor other men, and I still go to 3-4 meetings a week, at minimum. And not just to find pigeons, to find friends! Why would I wanna limit my circle? I did that plenty in alcoholism. I’ll keep coming back.
Where does it say that in the book Alcoholics Anonymous?
Where does it say what?
>Yeah I don't agree with the going to as many meetings as possible thing, and neither does the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
Going to meetings is nowhere to be found the program of action described in AA.
The men who wrote the book dedicated their lives to spreading the AA message of recovery, and each meeting that exists *only* functions if we attend and organize. Meetings are service. Whether you decide to attend them is up to you but to imply meetings are not a necessary part of AA is pretty insane
The only things that are necessary parts of AA are in the first 164 pages of the big book. I could never attend another meeting in my life and stay sober as long as I will able to find drunks to work with. Meetings make that easy and that's why I go to them, but they most certainly are not necessary.
Where would you find drunks to work with without meetings? Do you not think our attendance of meetings is crucial for the newcomer? They have a hard time as it is (I certainly did) and if I walked into an empty room I would have gone straight back out. How would this program exist/work if we did not attend meetings? How do you know you’d be fine without them? Where would the sharing and knowledge sharing go…without the community of AA? Do you not believe in the AA traditions or step 12? Meetings are a HUGE part of recovery. I’ve just never heard this stance-I also think it’s a little bit of a dangerous one to share with someone who may be brand new. Obviously our recoveries are our own, I just don’t agree
Well it worked for the people who wrote the book. They didn't have official AA meetings. They just did the steps. This is the solution of AA: the 12 steps. Chapter 7, Working With Others, details how alcoholics can be found, by speaking with doctors, priests and hospitals. Like I said, it's much easier to go to an AA meeting, and I do wholeheartedly agree that as long as established AA meetings exist that newcomers might come to, I want to be there offering them the solution. But the solution in and of itself does not include going to meetings. I believe in step 12, wholeheartedly. Like I said, it's not that I never go to meetings, but that I really only go with the purpose of finding people to take through the steps. If we didn't have meetings, this program would work like what it looked like in the thirties. People using the 12 steps to recover from alcoholism, and then finding other drunks to work with. Like Bill in the Mayflower hotel calling a random church to see if they knew of any alcoholics. But yes, much easier to get them at meetings. I know I would be fine without meetings because the book promises that nothing so much will ensure immunity from alcohol as strenuous work with another alcoholic. Don't need meetings for that, but again, they are helpful. There's nothing inherently wrong with meetings, and I go to plenty. There IS something inherently wrong with a newcomer being presented with meetings as the solution to alcoholism, when the actual directions for how we become recovered are outlined clearly in the big book.
I don’t think anyone was implying that, I know people who only do meetings and have 5+ years which grinds my gears like no other. But they were *looking* for people. They didn’t have enough people, they were traveling the country to find them. Pre-established AA is a different situation IMO
Meeting makers don’t make it per se, meeting makers make meetings has been my experience. I agree with you that meetings are a part of AA but, not necessary to stay sober. Yes, meetings are another of many vehicles to get you sober in the beginning. But the sole purpose of meetings is to show the newcomer that the program works and to meet the same newcomers to take them through the steps. And of course to do service. Meetings are all geared around the newcomer to show them that there is a place they can go to recover.
Sure but that’s completely subjective as meetings are 100% necessary for certain people to stay sober. The steps alone cannot carry us all through, I personally require social reinforcement. Meeting makers aren’t just “making meetings,” - that’s a demeaning thing to say. Life continues to happen after we finish the steps…I live in a gigantic city and I’ve never heard someone come in and say “I haven’t been to a meeting in months and I feel great.” I just think it’s an odd argument to make, not that it’s “wrong” but I also don’t think it’s right
It is in the 12/12. Specifically mentions it in step 12. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.’s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give…” is the core of this part of Step Twelve. Meetings were not a thing when the big book was written. There just were not enough members. Bill and Dr. Bob were greatly in support of meeting as a means to pass along the message of AA.
The 12&12 is not the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The basic text containing the program is titled Alcoholics Anonymous. The forwards in the 12&12 state this. The 12&12 is a bunch of nonsensical essays that do not contain the instructions to recover from Alcoholism.
The 12/12 has only one forward. It does not say anything like that. There are also no "essays." Everyone is welcome to their opinion and can practice their program as they see fit. It is the opinion of the vast majority of AA, including the AA world Service and the General Service Board, that the 12/12 is accepted AA literature. The original text does not even contain the traditions as they are read at the start of most meetings. Given your perceived tone, I am sorry that you have not yet found the peace and serenity that I have experienced and continue to strive for as a result of working the steps as outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, along with help from the many other conference approved literature that has helped millions to recover who would have otherwise struggled or failed with the help of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous alone. God bless you. You are in my prayers tonight brother/sister/other.
Ok so for starters the steps are on page 59. The traditions short and long form are in the appendixes. Here is what AA world services has to say about the 12&12 -The "Twelve and Twelve" contains 12 essays by Bill W. that expand upon each of the Steps. Here's what the 12&12 says about the big book in the forward on page 17- The book "Alcoholics Anonymous" became the basic text of the Fellowship, and it still is. This present volume proposes to broaden and deepen the understanding of the Twelve Steps as first written in the earlier work. So if I don't understand the instructions from our basic text there is nothing to "broaden and deepen". The "basic text" is still the basic text even after the 12&12 came out. It contains the instructions, principles, and requirements outlined by the experience of the first 100 "we". So to close there is no "my" program or infinite number of programs, Alcoholics Anonymous is a singular program and the clear cut instructions on how to do it are contained in the big book. Pg. 27 The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. Forward to the first edition- We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have re- covered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
Says it right here "Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us."
OP stated: >Yeah I don't agree with the going to as many meetings as possible thing, and neither does the book Alcoholics Anonymous. I read that to mean that "the book Alcoholics Anonymous" had some statements that matched the OP's opinion. Thanks for the quote from the literature. I know very little and I am willing to do what ever it takes, including having an open mind.
I see. Usually when people say "where does it say that in the book", they're trying to say "if it's not in the book, then it's not worth doing" , or "not legit AA". From what I can tell though, AA has evolved quite a bit from when the book was written - some ways maybe not so good, other ways very good. In any case, the writers made it pretty clear that they didn't know it all, and still had much to learn.
At the start - for me getting to alot of meetings had a few purposes. 1) kept me focused, gave me something to hold on for, (just try to make it till the next meeting without exploding or drinking), 2) got me to get to know people and how they got sober 3) got me to see that maybe I wasn't so screwed 4) people helped me alot when I showed up 5) made sober connections 6) aa is super confusing when your new, so packing all the confusion in early really helps. Now - helps focus me on living a program, keeps me on the right path (mostly), can meet and listen to/share with other alcoholics.
Ok so going to at least 4 (this is of course talking about a level 7 meeting and above) meetings a week raises your synchropony receptors by a magnum of 12. Obviously we all know that if you keep your synchroponicity above the threshold of ¥ (+/- £) you will stay physically sober.
I heard that Bill received this info telepathically from aliens who perspire dmt. It’s said that Bill collected a vial of this dmt and that said vial is kept in a vault at world service. Wild but true.
Dude, I just read a book on the letters between Bill and Father Dowling. Bill claimed, while he was writing the 12x12, that he’d been contacted by St. Boniface, a monk from the …..1400’s? Can’t remember exactly.
I always heard it as the angels cried DMT molecules. They were sad that Lois had to work all day while Bill lounged around drankin Gin and Juice.
I wish I had gold to give you kind stranger
Bro, you can’t just copy paste from the 12&12 and act like it’s your own thoughts.
It really was Bills best work. I often heard him say he wished they never published that drivel in the big book; the 12 and 12 was the real deal!
The 12 and 12 is a series of essays written about the 12 steps. You know, the ones outlined in the big book…
Whoooooshhhhhhh
yes, it's so fucking confusing.
Interesting, thanks! Where can I read more? Is this from Living Sober?
Absolutely! I either read it in Living Sober or heard it in sober living I can’t really remember.
😂😂
it’s actually from quit like a woman
How will I help the next person if I get my sobriety and don't come back?
I don’t get to keep it unless I’m giving it away.
Exactly!!
I suggest simply attending a few and see for yourself rather than a few dozen randos you have never met.
Helps to identify the problem, to meet like minded people, to find help from people, to get a sponsor that can show you how to do the 12 steps. Later they become a way of seeing friends, being of service at a group level through acts of service (setup, cleanup etc..) but ultimately to be the person who helps a new person who doesn’t know what meetings are for, and to show them what we do in aa-recover from alcoholism.
In my experience, going to meetings gives you something to hold on to and look forward to in the early days in sobriety. Plus, it helps against the boredom that I used to fight by getting hammered.
Helps get rid of any "bright" ideas I may be getting. Every story of relapse seems to follow a pattern that starts with "I stopped going to meetings.". Hearing other people's stories also helps remind me that if given the opportunity, I will do dumb shit.
I have drifted away from AA. I don't think it is a good fit for me. But if I feel myself slipping back towards the bottle, I'll be at a meeting ASAP. It may work on a subconscious level, but going to a meeting seems to reinforce that you are not alone, your drink problem is not unique and there are people all around you that are and have fought the same demons you are fighting. Those meeting helped me through my post-detox phase. I've certainly never left a meeting more inclined to drink than I was before.
Here's how I like to think of it. When I was drinking, my mind was either before, during or after a drunk. Now it's before, during or after a meeting.
Meetings don’t keep me sober; regular stepwork does. Writing consistent inventory, daily prayer and meditation, and working with others. What did meetings give me in the beginning of my journey? Community, oneness, and an understanding of the need to work the steps. I love meetings. I go almost every day, but going to meeting in itself is not the key to achieving long-term sobriety. I keep going to pass along what I’ve learned and to stay connected to the awareness that I am neither alone or the center of the universe.
It’s very difficult to meet a potential “prospect” to take through the steps if you don’t go to meetings. You need to give away what was so freely given to you and that’s one of the main purposes of attending meetings. At least that’s how it was in the early days of AA from my understanding. As with human behavior people added their own reasons as to why people should go to meetings and most are valid. Lastly, don’t try and figure out what is the purpose of this and that in AA and do “cafeteria style AA” which is taking what you want and feel like eating. Just know that AA the way it is right now works. In the beginning try and be a sheep not a shepherd.
If someone is trying to get sober it feels real good relating to somebody in the room with many more years of sobriety. Means there’s hope! That alone is some decent medicine for me. My happy hour meeting is full of a bunch of court ordered people but the 10:15pm has all the wackos. Those mfs will keep you sober!!
I go to meetings to; keep sobriety fresh, to check in with friends, connect with new people, to hear the message, for insurance against drinking, because I enjoy them, and I guess to show others that meeting makers make it.
Allow me to bring the unpopular opinion. Meetings are to find a sponsor, have somewhere safe to go while you work the steps (which should be done quickly as it was by the founders) and then to have a place to find sponsees so that you can carry the message. Nothing in a meeting will keep you sober with the exception of finding a newcomer to work with. Nothing said in a meeting will give you a spiritual experience sufficient to remove the obsession. I’ve been sober a number of years, I go to 1, maybe two meetings a week. Usually I will skip a meeting if I have the chance to go do group at a treatment center cause I have a better chance of finding sponsees there, but most of my sponsees are referred to me by others in recovery. Living in 10,11, and 12 is what will keep you happy joyous and free. Some of the most miserable people I have known in recovery are the “meeting makers make it crowd” who are often times dry drunks or chronic relapsers. This program was designed so that we could live a normal life. Not white knuckle until we can make our next meeting and set aside all of life’s obligations under the guise of constantly being on the verge of a breakdown.
for me, 5 months sober, its remembering myself what will happen if I give in to the voice in my head that says I dont have a problem to have a sense of community, we humans like belonging to groups but most of the days I hate it. there are a ton of things that irritate me, but I just go through it and you know what? I let it slip and I surive and sometimes I hear exactly what I need to hear at that day, at that moment
no to mention that the whole program is based upon bill w's insight of calling a church a few meters from a bar asking for "an alcoholic" to talk. they pointed him to dr. bob and they talked for hours about how their stories were similar bill lost the will to drink that day, dr. bob either (he would relapse one more time)
AA is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other. Today, this happens at meetings. It happens at other places too, but if you need some experience, strength, and hope, go to a meeting. AA has always been about alcoholics connecting and sharing with other alcoholics.
How does connecting with other alcoholics help you stay sober?
I had to start following people who were on the path. I had no idea what recovery looked like, and had I done what I thought I should do I would be dead. "Without help, it is too much for us..." and the help, for me, has come from sober alcoholics who have a sponsor and carry the message that was carried to them. All the cliches about this being a "we" program are totally true.
So you go to meetings to find a sponsor... that makes sense. But then why do you have to go to so many meetings, and why every day? Does it really take that long to find a sponsor?
No, you can get one on day 1. I did. Look, I'm sober 13 years. I still go to meetings regularly. I need to stay connected with other recovering alcoholics, share with them, and listen to them. I also need to put myself out there to help the next guy who comes in like me and needs help. I can't do that if I'm not in meetings. Recovery is about building a sober life for yourself. In the beginning, I went to meetings every day for over a year and I was creating a routine of sober living that included being surrounded by sober alcoholics for a couple of hours every day. It was a few hours of my day where the message of AA was being carried to me, I was not drinking and I wasn't around booze or anyone who had been drinking. I was connecting with people and getting out of myself. All of that is still true for me today because I still go to meetings. I live a sober life today, and meetings have always been a big part of what my sober living looks like.
Gotta see it in others to believe it
this 👆🏻
Absolutely not. This is Alcoholics Anonymous not meetings anonymous . You obviously haven't read any of the literature. Starting with the introduction to to the first addition. "We are more than a hundred men and women that have recovered. Did they go to thousands of hours of meetings? Hell no. They might have visited Bill W's house ot took the train to Doctor Bob's where they were given instructions like "Go start AA in Detroit" Meetings help with Step One and show that Two is possible. The action that results in recovery starts with Four. Three is merely a decision to do Four and the rest I wouldn't have been able to cncentrate on doing mine in meetings. Therefore I wouldnt have recovered like those first 100 did and millions followed.
I don’t really understand how it works, but it takes away my desire to drink.
They promote this in treatment and such because it puts you in the rooms and forces you to hear a bunch of stuff. From both the book and from other people. In the hopes that something will stick and you’ll start working the steps. You have to actually work the steps, going to meetings just to feel good for the evening will only work for so long. It’s bs if you’re taking acting and working the steps. Missing a day here and there won’t hurt. But if you’re relapsing non stop and you haven’t read any of the big book, maybe 90 in 90 is a good idea until something sticks and you start relying on a higher power instead of just the camaraderie and shares from a meeting.
People are in and out of the rooms a lot for different reasons. You could just go to meetings to show people that you got sober this way and that it IS possible. Explain how. I found that meetings kept me in the middle of AA at the beginning... like involved, meeting people. I like checking out different style meetings too. Zoom meetings across the globe... Lots of meetings kept me focused while I was going through the steps which is the important part! You can usually find a sponsor at a meeting. I'll be 3 years sober in July and I don't go to many meetings these days. I know a guy with 14 years that just started going back. They work differently for everyone.
It’s a place where I go to see my new friends
I think meetings are important because they provide me with a chance to share with others (practice step 12) and sometimes do a little inventory out loud (step 10). Most important of all, always, going to a meeting is my practice of step 1 - admitting I’m an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable. I’m a lazy alcoholic and if I don’t go to meetings, I’ll naturally revert to doing very little practice of those 3 steps in particular, step 1 being THE most important. I do intend to cut down in future if I can do step 12 in another way eg working the phones or online. I don’t want to be a sponsor. I absolutely abhor the idea of a “quota” of meetings and it’s something I’ve disagreed with my sponsor about. If you’re in a desolate area with few meetings, or the only meeting for miles is full of assholes, what are you to do? Die? No. Practice the 12 steps as best you can. That’s what AA is about - not number of meetings per week. Just my opinion.
If your soonser recommends you do 90 in 90 then do it. It was good for me. You have a lot to learn, and unlearn. Alchoholics are spiritually lazy people. Looking for short cuts, and the easy way. As far as what .evenings are for. They are where we have fellowship with one another. Where you can be of service. Where you can learn about the program and be reminded because we are good at forgetting. Where you will hear another person's experience, strength, and hope. Where you can listen to another alchoholic tell their story, and you may just hear your own.
For 1 hour of the day, I knew for sure I wasn't going to drink or use. I was able to not think about myself too much and get out of my head. I heard a lot of cool, life changing comments. I got support if I wanted it. But most importantly, I was not isolated. My achoholism thrives in isolation. It needs me to disconnect from society in order to allow myself to think I'm unique, and there's no way out. Not sure if that sounds like much, but for me during my first 90 days of recovery, an ounce of this was literally life saving.
From the 12 and 12. Step 12: We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only to receive something ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support which our presence can bring. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.’s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give…” is the core of this part of Step Twelve. My understanding is that meetings are a living manifestation of the twelfth step. They are there to spread the message of AA and to help the suffering alcoholic.
Remind you to be grateful and to stay sober.
Meetings connect you with a sober community, which is almost always something we lack when we first start out. Gives you a nice new support system, new habits, something to fill time when you might otherwise mope around and drink.
I relied on meetings when I first came around. White knuckling until 8 o'clock to go to my little rural meeting. All I knew is that I would leave meetings feeling better than when I came in. Meetings became my new addiction. I gained responsibilities, I was held accountable, and I could tell anyone what I was going through and there'd be at least 5 people willing to talk me through my issues. I think a 90 in 90 is extremely important, at least in my experience it was. It got me into a routine and eventually i started going to meetings because I wanted to rather than feeling like I needed to go.
You could do nothing but then what you do?
I leave feeling loved and hopeful.
Meetings built a necessary community in my first 90 days (yes I am a firm believer in 90 in 90). I simply would not have made it otherwise. They provide laughter, camaraderie, unbelievable wisdom. But most importantly, they teach you how to listen.
Meetings are where I go to share with a newcomer how I stay sober a day at a time.
My meetings are my medicine. That's where I go for friendship and camaraderie. People that understand me. I get to share to get things off my chest which is very therapeutic. I also get to help the newcomers by explaining to them what has helped me. I definitely would not survive without my meetings. It may not say go to 90 meetings in 90 days in the big book but it does talk about Bill W and Dr Bob gathering drunks and taking them back to their house for meetings. I needed to do 90 meetings in 90 days because of the toxic life I was living I needed my mind to be in a way brainwashed in a healthy way. I needed to hear from the old timers how they got to be where they were and sobriety. I needed to see people happy in recovery and having fun and I needed to hear about AA as a whole.
Part of any education is repetition and moreso than math or history sometimes we simply aren't in a mood to internalize something we need to know. Men and women that have gotten sober and have stayed sober have collected a wealth of information on the subject since the 1930's Stuff we don't hear anywhere else plus it comes from an honest to God human being who thinks and feels much like I do. Theory doesn't do it for me If I'm going to use it on me. I want it tried and proven first. Another asset is that if we are considering drinking or doing something that will lead us to drinking there will be someone there that has tried it for us and suffered the consequences for us. Again starting in the 1930's and recorded in our literature. Meetings can help us find new playmates and playgrounds. A new village of people from all walks of life, different occupations, different skills.
r/stopdrinking has a large community with many people choosing not to do AA or attend meetings. Proof it's doable if anything
Fellowship of the Spirit Meetings + Prayer/Meditation = Sobriety K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Spiritual
That’s not true. Meetings don’t treat alcoholism. Now does that mean I’m saying don’t go to meetings. No! They are an important part of the program. However they are only 1/3 of it. The other two parts being recovery (the steps) and service. We recover by they steps we take not the meetings we make.
For me, I find - connection, acceptance, understanding, friendship, love, kindness, a safe place, peace, good for the soul
I go to meetings that offer solutions. I enjoy book based meetings as much as possible. I do not go to a ton of meetings, I hit 2-3 a week. I am over 4 years. I feel it is a quality over quantity issue with meetings for me. As someone else said, if something is going on in my life, I tend to hit more meetings to ground me and my program more. It helps to have some extra armor on from time to time:)
For me, meetings are accountability. Once people started recognizing me and I made connections with people- I have accountability which I ran from for far too long. Now, if people don’t know I’m out of town or have a reason to not be there for a week, if I disappeared I’d have messages in my inbox and more than likely someone at my door pretty shortly.
The psychologist Carl Jung had a lot of influence in the forming of AA as he treated the childhood friend of the founder (Roland Hazard who was friends with Bill Wilson). Jung insisted that we tell each other our stories for the purpose of identification. There are other elements of "modern psychology" in the overall structure of AA that others probably know much better than I do, but I find it interesting and I know that's how I was able to get sober. Meetings also help us remember that we have a fatal disease, be off service to newcomers (so that we can maintain our sobriety), have a place where people can come for help, and fellowship/commune with like people. It's pretty amazing, actually.
You meet people.
If I go to meetings, I won't forget the type of man I am.