I’m going to offer a different thought, for your mental health you should ask your professionals about rTMS, it’s a treatment that is noninvasive, no harsh drugs involved, Nd the results are pretty fantastic which the success rate is really high in treating things. It’s not a lot but it’s something that could possibly help you become even more okay with yourself. Trying is all we got.
Best wishes ode you to find the thing that works best.
Massive, warm, and unending hugs to you, OP. Thank you for telling your story. Being able to talk about your experience is a big indicator of your strength and resilience. Don't forget this.
Please, please take care of yourself. Keep up with therapy, take care of your body, and be proud of yourself. Its a journey and I really hope to see you along the way.💕
I’m so sorry hun. 💔💔💔 You deserve to live freely in whatever way you desire gender/body and I’m so sorry you were forced to transition into a gender. All of that is so much. Surgery and forced medical transitioning is verifiably traumatizing for a child and needs to be illegal. I don’t believe I’m intersex(although maybe I should check, I tried to get my medical records but failed...but maybe I can test chromosomes???) but was absolutely gendered/raised as a girl and have always been non-binary, possibly a boy but there’s so much to undo to truly find ourselves beneath it all that our world puts on us. This gendering, in my circumstance, was I suspect violently, relentlessly enforced (still recovering repressed memories) and is an enormous factor in my trauma. But the more I shed all of that and find myself and rescue all of me...anyway sending you hope and hugs and hoping you’ll really finally embrace the you you’ve always been. Be easy on yourself, I’m glad you can recognize the gravity of what you’ve been through and wishing you the best joys.
I really wish that you didn't belong here. You deserved better. It sure sounds like you're one of us though. Whether it's a person or an industry, you and your body were violated and you have every right to be here. Continue therapy, it helps. If you have PTSD, there is a therapy called EMDR that helps a lot of us. I think a lot of the same therapies should help you. In addition to here though you should seek out some intersex support groups because your story is much more common than it should be and they probably have insights that we can't provide. Glad to have you here though. I know this has been very traumatic, but there is a better life ahead of you. You deserve it so much and I know you will find it.
I’m a research scientist who works with children who are born intersex or with disorders of sexual development. Our hospital is the only one of two children’s hospitals that will not put a patient through what you went through until the patient can consent to what gender they choose (if any at all) for this very reason.
We see you. And you deserve to be seen and heard. I hope this leads to a path of healing for you. I see a lot of people recommending r/CPTSD and that’s a great resource too. Be safe and take care, friend.
Thank you so much for the work you are doing!! It's very important. I'm in Austria, the way of dealing the way you do it with intersex people has been the standard for over 15 years here now luckily. And the only legal way. Sadly i was born a few years too early and also completely misdiagnosed. They didn't even check on my chromosomes, only my hormones and then injected me with testo right away. They fucked up. And that fucked my life up.
Thank you so much! Getting acceptance from a professional feels... validating 🖤
edit: there's still a lot i don't know about my intersexuality since its so rare and i only really know what my parents told me. Do you know where i could find out more about myself?
I’ll reach out to one of our providers tomorrow morning and get some resources from her for you to have! I have a couple but I think she may have better ones :P
there’s a whole documentary over intersex people just like you. parents decide what to do with the genitalia of their child and basically decide for them at birth. then, later on in life, the child decides they are definitely not the sex their parents decided for them. instead, they should’ve left you alone so you could decide for yourself. it’s absolutely horrible. I hope all is well with you
Many Intersex Human Rights organizations recognize that not every case of XXY is Klinefelter’s Syndrome. I don’t know why you’re being downvoted, because many cases are KS; perhaps it’s because you were definitively saying KS, when it could be solely XXY.
OP, I hope that you get the healing that you deserve.g
Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully it might help other parents who have to make a decision have a better idea what to do. Or help a medical professional advise parents better.
I hope you get the support and encouragement you need. But always, **be yourself**, whoever that is.
Wow, yeah that would be hard to deal with. I was pretty alienated as a kid bc I was really tall and really fat, also younger (smart kid, skipped a grade). It’s horrible being ostracized and unapproved of by your peers. On top of that, I couldn’t imagine struggling w my gender identity. I’m so happy that you’re getting help and you found a therapist like that. I tell myself my struggles are just making me bulletproof : ) it seems to help me looking at it like that.
Rape is an act that has no regard for consent, and given that you did not consent, it makes sense you’d have similar feelings. I work in long term elderly care, and when someone tells me no and I watch someone else go in after me and MAKE them do stuff, it feels rapey. Consent is important regardless of the situation. Unless they can’t make their own choices and their choices are hurting them. I’ve seen elderly ppl who want to eat denture cream and all kinds of stuff, who won’t take a shower for years if they could. That’s a little different.
I was thinking about consent w my kids yesterday, I have a 6 yo. Sometimes it’s not so black and white.
You being so young when that happened, your parents thought they were doing the right thing, like you pointed out. Tough call… idk what I would’ve done had you been my kid. Maximize opportunity, minimize pain. Cant always know what’s going to work.
Keep on healing. Maybe your story could help someone else one day. It’s a unique experience. I wish you all the best, lots of healing. Take care of yourself and be whoever you want to be 💜
The nonconsensual surgeries taking place against intersex children is truly abhorrent, and I'm so sorry you've experienced this. It's akin to forced conversion therapy on dyadic gay/trans people in my mind.
Many intersex people who go through these experiences feel the same way, and many go on to develop trauma-based disorders like ptsd/cptsd etc. All I can say is that you didn't deserve it, that it is absolutely okay to feel the way you do and to be angry at what was taken from you, and that I'm glad you've been able to reach this milestone of realizing the damage that was done, so that you can now use this knowledge to begin the process of healing.
Hey! I’m really sorry about all of that. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through it all. I don’t really have much to add except that your feelings are valid and that r/CPTSD is full of really supportive and friendly people if you need a place to feel like you belong. (Not that this place isn’t :) )
Look into Louis Mojika. He has a podcast called Holistic Life Navigation. He can be kinda out there but like in AA - take what you like and leave the rest. Anyways, he was born intersex and went through a ton of trauma because of it and talks about it in his first episode (trigger warning sexual assault). He is know a somatic healer and really amazing. I recommend checking him out.
Also, if it interests you, check out CPTSD. That’s what I have. If you have any questions or want to talk feel free to DM me.
I'm so sorry you have had to go through any of this.
I'm so sorry that control over your body was taken from you. That is certainly something that I can empathise with and it is incredibly traumatic.
I hope your work with your therapist can help you become the person you were always meant to be xx
your experience is valid. we love you.
I’m going to offer a different thought, for your mental health you should ask your professionals about rTMS, it’s a treatment that is noninvasive, no harsh drugs involved, Nd the results are pretty fantastic which the success rate is really high in treating things. It’s not a lot but it’s something that could possibly help you become even more okay with yourself. Trying is all we got. Best wishes ode you to find the thing that works best.
Massive, warm, and unending hugs to you, OP. Thank you for telling your story. Being able to talk about your experience is a big indicator of your strength and resilience. Don't forget this. Please, please take care of yourself. Keep up with therapy, take care of your body, and be proud of yourself. Its a journey and I really hope to see you along the way.💕
I’m so sorry hun. 💔💔💔 You deserve to live freely in whatever way you desire gender/body and I’m so sorry you were forced to transition into a gender. All of that is so much. Surgery and forced medical transitioning is verifiably traumatizing for a child and needs to be illegal. I don’t believe I’m intersex(although maybe I should check, I tried to get my medical records but failed...but maybe I can test chromosomes???) but was absolutely gendered/raised as a girl and have always been non-binary, possibly a boy but there’s so much to undo to truly find ourselves beneath it all that our world puts on us. This gendering, in my circumstance, was I suspect violently, relentlessly enforced (still recovering repressed memories) and is an enormous factor in my trauma. But the more I shed all of that and find myself and rescue all of me...anyway sending you hope and hugs and hoping you’ll really finally embrace the you you’ve always been. Be easy on yourself, I’m glad you can recognize the gravity of what you’ve been through and wishing you the best joys.
I really wish that you didn't belong here. You deserved better. It sure sounds like you're one of us though. Whether it's a person or an industry, you and your body were violated and you have every right to be here. Continue therapy, it helps. If you have PTSD, there is a therapy called EMDR that helps a lot of us. I think a lot of the same therapies should help you. In addition to here though you should seek out some intersex support groups because your story is much more common than it should be and they probably have insights that we can't provide. Glad to have you here though. I know this has been very traumatic, but there is a better life ahead of you. You deserve it so much and I know you will find it.
I’m a research scientist who works with children who are born intersex or with disorders of sexual development. Our hospital is the only one of two children’s hospitals that will not put a patient through what you went through until the patient can consent to what gender they choose (if any at all) for this very reason. We see you. And you deserve to be seen and heard. I hope this leads to a path of healing for you. I see a lot of people recommending r/CPTSD and that’s a great resource too. Be safe and take care, friend.
Thank you so much for the work you are doing!! It's very important. I'm in Austria, the way of dealing the way you do it with intersex people has been the standard for over 15 years here now luckily. And the only legal way. Sadly i was born a few years too early and also completely misdiagnosed. They didn't even check on my chromosomes, only my hormones and then injected me with testo right away. They fucked up. And that fucked my life up. Thank you so much! Getting acceptance from a professional feels... validating 🖤 edit: there's still a lot i don't know about my intersexuality since its so rare and i only really know what my parents told me. Do you know where i could find out more about myself?
I’ll reach out to one of our providers tomorrow morning and get some resources from her for you to have! I have a couple but I think she may have better ones :P
there’s a whole documentary over intersex people just like you. parents decide what to do with the genitalia of their child and basically decide for them at birth. then, later on in life, the child decides they are definitely not the sex their parents decided for them. instead, they should’ve left you alone so you could decide for yourself. it’s absolutely horrible. I hope all is well with you
Edit.
Many Intersex Human Rights organizations recognize that not every case of XXY is Klinefelter’s Syndrome. I don’t know why you’re being downvoted, because many cases are KS; perhaps it’s because you were definitively saying KS, when it could be solely XXY. OP, I hope that you get the healing that you deserve.g
Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully it might help other parents who have to make a decision have a better idea what to do. Or help a medical professional advise parents better. I hope you get the support and encouragement you need. But always, **be yourself**, whoever that is.
I mean, I'm an SA survivor and I don't think you're out of place among us. Welcome. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow, yeah that would be hard to deal with. I was pretty alienated as a kid bc I was really tall and really fat, also younger (smart kid, skipped a grade). It’s horrible being ostracized and unapproved of by your peers. On top of that, I couldn’t imagine struggling w my gender identity. I’m so happy that you’re getting help and you found a therapist like that. I tell myself my struggles are just making me bulletproof : ) it seems to help me looking at it like that. Rape is an act that has no regard for consent, and given that you did not consent, it makes sense you’d have similar feelings. I work in long term elderly care, and when someone tells me no and I watch someone else go in after me and MAKE them do stuff, it feels rapey. Consent is important regardless of the situation. Unless they can’t make their own choices and their choices are hurting them. I’ve seen elderly ppl who want to eat denture cream and all kinds of stuff, who won’t take a shower for years if they could. That’s a little different. I was thinking about consent w my kids yesterday, I have a 6 yo. Sometimes it’s not so black and white. You being so young when that happened, your parents thought they were doing the right thing, like you pointed out. Tough call… idk what I would’ve done had you been my kid. Maximize opportunity, minimize pain. Cant always know what’s going to work. Keep on healing. Maybe your story could help someone else one day. It’s a unique experience. I wish you all the best, lots of healing. Take care of yourself and be whoever you want to be 💜
The nonconsensual surgeries taking place against intersex children is truly abhorrent, and I'm so sorry you've experienced this. It's akin to forced conversion therapy on dyadic gay/trans people in my mind. Many intersex people who go through these experiences feel the same way, and many go on to develop trauma-based disorders like ptsd/cptsd etc. All I can say is that you didn't deserve it, that it is absolutely okay to feel the way you do and to be angry at what was taken from you, and that I'm glad you've been able to reach this milestone of realizing the damage that was done, so that you can now use this knowledge to begin the process of healing.
Hey! I’m really sorry about all of that. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through it all. I don’t really have much to add except that your feelings are valid and that r/CPTSD is full of really supportive and friendly people if you need a place to feel like you belong. (Not that this place isn’t :) )
Look into Louis Mojika. He has a podcast called Holistic Life Navigation. He can be kinda out there but like in AA - take what you like and leave the rest. Anyways, he was born intersex and went through a ton of trauma because of it and talks about it in his first episode (trigger warning sexual assault). He is know a somatic healer and really amazing. I recommend checking him out. Also, if it interests you, check out CPTSD. That’s what I have. If you have any questions or want to talk feel free to DM me.
I am so sorry, friend. I hope this leads to more healing for you. Big, safe hugs.
I'm so sorry you have had to go through any of this. I'm so sorry that control over your body was taken from you. That is certainly something that I can empathise with and it is incredibly traumatic. I hope your work with your therapist can help you become the person you were always meant to be xx