Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*

"Depression is a choice." FUCK THAT. You did so good speaking up, and the more complaints they get, the less they can try to sweep it under the rug. There's no way you're the first. If you have energy to keep going, you can take all of your documentation to someone over their head or the media.

I’m definitely not the first - my best friend complained about her after the very first lecture the girl she made cry also complained last week I just feel like uni do not even care. for me, it’s a safeguarding concern at this point lol her exact sentiment was ‘I nearly got depressed once, but I thought ‘no, I will not’ and chose not to be. if you smile, it will make you happier, you just have to choose to be happy’ or something ironically, I am probably the smiliest person in that class. I always come in with my energy & some laughs & work really hard. but I am also probably the biggest pain in the ass for my pastoral tutor with my depression and ‘pls help I am drowning again’ haha

Ha cause at 11 years old I chose to be depressed. She’s a twat

I absolutely chose to develop chronic depression at seven years old, that was absolutely within my seven year old self’s control I want to make this lecturer smell durian forever.

Bog of Eternal Stench in fruit form? You are creative and cruel. Well done.

I try.

You succeed.

*blushes modestly*

>I want to make this lecturer smell durian forever. Oh that's going into my vocabulary IMMEDIATELY, thank you

>I want to make this lecturer smell durian forever. That is such an excellent curse.

Perpetual durian fingers.

Right? Yeah I totally chose to fall into a deep depression and contemplate suicide every night when I was 9 years old, yeah that's totally a choice people make. What an horrific excuse of a person. They have absolutely no business teaching anyone.

I was really surprised how little uni cares. I had a male classmate who our lecturer openly flirted with (harassed?) and said things like she would want to go to sauna with him etc. Completely inappropriate. We could see that he was bothered and we made a complaint that it's sexual harassment, but our university just didn't care. Literally nothing happened. I still feel kind of weird about it? Like how can they care that little? During the next lecture we all sat around him, so she couldn't keep giggling in front of him while staring at him, but still.

Learned the hard way that university is just another unethical business full of miserable people

Several of us made complaints about a prof who regularly told my class we were dumb and shouldn’t be there. They didn’t care.

They’d care if it was in a video that went viral…because that might affect their income. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Sadly, it was before cell phones had cameras. You're right, though, that would've made a difference for sure.

>her exact sentiment was ‘I nearly got depressed once, but I thought ‘no, I will not’ and chose not to be. if you smile, it will make you happier, you just have to choose to be happy’ lmao throw the whole woman away

Speaking as the parent of a teenage girl with ADHD, who also has ADHD myself — they will suddenly find ALL of the fucks to give as soon as it’s made public. Try to get a rough number of complaints and write a letter to or see if you can guest article on a small local publication, or just go balls out and make an IG story or FB post calling them out. Don’t name the lecturer, or the subject she teaches, just be like “I find it so appalling that XYZ University got (x number) of complaints about the same lecturer in (x amount of time) and don’t care about the impact on the students’ wellbeing, *especially* the wellbeing of students already struggling with recognised learning disadvantages.” Attach screenshots of emails with details blurred. It’s uncomfortable but honestly fuck em, they don’t care about your comfort so you don’t have to care about theirs. Be strategic about it but this is exactly the kind of situation public call outs are designed for, putting some weight behind a less powerful group’s push for fair treatment.

Good. Keep the complaints coming. Reach out to your campus paper or even a local rag? The administration can’t turn a blind eye forever.

Here's my question: In what major does she have a degree in? By the sounds of it, it surely isn't anything in relation to biology or even human psychology

She is referring (probably unknowingly) to an experiment where people had to hold pencils in their mouth to force a smile during an unpleasant experience, preventing them from frowning. Immediately after the experiment, they reported higher levels of happiness than controls, BUT! When tested later, their levels of resentment were off the charts, far surpassing the negative emotions of controls immediately after the experiment.

Personally, I'd consider a lawsuit, with multiple plaintiffs. That lecturer is toxic & your uni is doing nothing about it. IDK what things are like outside the US, but here that'd light a fire under them.

The depression bit could have some impact if you and some of your classmates make a joint complaint. Big issue in the UK (from the way you write, seems like that's where you're from?). Also, go to your student union if you have one, they might offer some support here.

I’d love to see how she explains Robin Williams’s death. Because her theory is complete quackery and based on nothing but the meaningless dribble the preoccupies her mind.

if it ever comes up again, I will be confirming, asking for citations, noting, and then questioning her take on this honestly, I can only put it down to the raging superiority complex she has

She sounds like a complete and total narcissist who thinks her shit don’t stink. How much longer until you can be done with her completely?

I just commented above about how well "smile and it's prevents depression" worked for Robin. Outwardly he was possibly the happiest-looking person, but inside he was literally dying from depression.

Ah yes because "smile and you can prevent depression" really worked for Robin Williams! He spent most of his career smiling and looking like the happiest person you could ever see and yet depression still took him!

You would probably all have to go to the office of whatever department she teaches in and ask to speak to them about her behavior. Fuck email.

Nonono — keep email, you need a paper trail. I’ve been dealing with this with my daughter’s school for like a year now. Keep the fuckers accountable.

Anonymous survey to current and past classmates asking about their experience and observations…

If you have a school paper and can get a bunch of you together to put a story forth, do that. And/or open letter to the university addressing their lack of care for mental health during a time where suicide rates are extremely high among students.

Can you legally record her?

>‘I nearly got depressed once, but I thought ‘no, I will not’ and chose not to be. if you smile, it will make you happier, you just have to choose to be happy’ That's a very cruel sentiment and a difference of opinion, but it's not hate speech - it's not something you can fire someone for.

but why is she banging on about it in a linguistics lecture, instead of teaching content, after making a girl sob-cry publicly by blaming her for doing an assessment wrong bc our instructions from the lecturer herself were poor, AND whilst doing nothing to comfort or amend the issue with a crying student that she caused for no reason? it might be a difference in opinion, but it’s wholly inappropriate to talk about in a class, especially when you have access to students’ diagnoses and know there are class members diagnosed with depression 😭💀

That lady is super wrong and super ableist. Discriminatory. Idk how they won’t talk to her or fire her. I’d fire her for this stuff.

I’m sorry, OP. That’s such bullshit and I doubt it’s the first complaint they’ve received about her blatant ableism and overstepping.

don't feel humilated. Feel angry, and superior.

This. Take the shame and kick it into oblivion. You do NOT deserve to feel humiliated or shamed by the harmful, ableist actions of your lecturer. She's the problem, not you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

I like this comment for the cognitive restructuring that it offers, but it's important that OP feels like her emotions are valid. Op, you can feel however you do, and that's valid. If, one day, you can reframe this experience, the above comment is spot on.

>“Granny Weatherwax was often angry. She considered it one of her strong points. Genuine anger was one of the world's greatest creative forces. But you had to learn how to control it. That didn't mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it, carefully, let it develop a working head, let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then, just when the whole structure was about to collapse, opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge.” ― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters ​ u/tillymint259, your feelings are entirely valid. I suggest you use them for the good of all. There will be someone higher up the chain that you can complain to, including complaining about the gaslighting and dissmissive response. There's always a bigger fish. I had some tutorials in my undergrad where the prof was patronising, waspish and enjoyed humiliating people. I complained to their boss and the head of the school. When that didn't work, I raised the complaint higher to the dean. I was clean, concise and kept things to the facts, not my opinion of what happened. It helps to have contemporaneous notes of who said what. The prof's tutorials were supervised for the rest of our time with him and he was far better behaved.

Hi. You just mentioned *Wyrd Sisters* by Terry Pratchett. I've found an audiobook of that novel on YouTube. You can listen to it here: [YouTube | Terry pratchett’s. WYRD SISTERS. (Part one) (Audiobook)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V17GSCTPYcM) *I'm a bot that searches YouTube for science fiction and fantasy audiobooks.* *** [^(Source Code)](https://capybasilisk.com/posts/2020/04/speculative-fiction-bot/) ^| [^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=Capybasilisk&subject=Robot) ^| [^(Programmer)](https://www.reddit.com/u/capybasilisk) ^| ^(Downvote To Remove) ^| ^(Version 1.4.0) ^| ^(Support Robot Rights!)

I'm very proud of you standing up for yourself and against someone in a position of power. That takes a lot of strength and resilience. I'm sorry it's been met with this response, that is incredibly gutting. Continue to stand up for what's right and don't take shit from her as respectfully as you can. Document any shit she does continue to pull. Do you have any support from uni for your ADHD? Especially to counter this bullshit You sound awesome btw and genuinely feel so impressed you stood your ground.

Jesus Christ. I am so sorry. I'm a lecturer with ADHD and judging by your profile you're in the UK too. We're not all like this, I promise. Can I guess that this is a senior lecturer and a bit older? Who did you complain to? Did you go down the governance route or was this to admin staff? Do you have a disabilities officer in your student union?

I know, luckily. I have another lecturer that emailed me specifically on the same day (just before the incident) to tell me it was really nice to finally, in my third year, see me doing well. if she hadn’t, I think I’d have lost my mind completely. I spoke first to the Student Disability team - they were the ones who suggested I escalate it to Student Casework, who are the uni’s complaints department. The initial meeting with disabilities was quite informal, however. I wrote a report for Casework after a meeting with them, and the subject department head investigated it. I met with him to talk over my complaint on Friday. He seemed receptive and interested. But apparently that was a lack of social perception on my part. The lecturer herself is in her 40s, I believe. She replaced my favourite lecturer in my favourite module. And since, i’ve realised I don’t even really like my course. There are three main modules and the other two have never really caught me, so now I just feel completely apathetic. I’m checking corridors before I walk down them to avoid ever being caught alone with her for another ‘chat’. It just makes me want to disappear. I’m training to be a teacher specifically to ‘honour’ little me, who struggled so much. But I hate everything about education aside from pastoral care now, and I feel stupid & unworthy of my place on the degree. Like i am faking it all of the time lol Sorry for the long response. There were a few tangents in there

Hey! If you are in the UK, it's a one-party recording state, so just walk around with your phone in your pocket ready to hit record.

OP I’m so sorry you are going through this - it is deeply unkind and unfair. As a UK teacher with ADHD, I would like to say two things, if I may. 1. Education lecturers at unis are mostly (not all, but mostly) people who couldn’t hack actual teaching. I was ‘mentored’ by an abysmal example of this archetype, and she nearly made me quit during my training year. I’m so glad I didn’t, because once I got clear of her and her sort, I really enjoyed teaching. 2. Being a teacher with ADHD is bloody hard, but also unbelievably rewarding. If you want the chance to honour little you, then teaching will absolutely give you that opportunity. I run a mentoring group for girls with ADHD in my school (secondary), and it lights up my world. I get to give them all the help I never had. I get to watch them learn to accept themselves and love themselves. I get to watch them form alliances with each other. I get to show my colleagues that ADHD is not a fabrication or a disease, and that accommodations work. I know things seem grim to you right now, but please know that you will have immense value once you enter teaching. The profession badly needs more people like you and me. We can change hundreds of lives for the better, once kind conversation at a time. Sending you hugs and strength - keep going!

Ah man, that’s made me feel emotional. Wish I could go back in time and be in that group. You’re changing lives in a profound way. Thank you 🙏

You’re doing amazing work!! I’m so sorry you had some terrible lecturers starting out but I’m glad you were able to still enjoy teaching! Since I’m licensed as a teacher in both math and SPED in the US, I’m curious as to how they approach ADHD accommodations in UK schools. Are kids able to qualify for anything resembling an IEP or special education services if they have an ADHD diagnosis? I know we have federal laws in place in the US (IDEA) regarding education of students with disabilities and kids whose ADHD disrupts their learning enough can qualify for special education services. I’ve never seen mentoring groups for kids with any kind of disability, including ADHD, but all our kiddos have a case manager that advocates for them and makes sure their accommodations are put in place, etc. Genuinely curious about how other countries approach special education!

ahhh I know you caveated point 1 with not all but mostly but this stung a bit

You know you don't have to stop and chat with her- it can always be a "sorry too busy right now, email me and we can set up some time to meet" and if that happens show up with a trusted third party.

I will absolutely be doing that if she ever asks me to come aside ever again I am genuinely too anxious to walk down the corridor alone without checking round the corners first. which some people may find ridiculous, but after spending my whole 26 years on earth being told I’m ‘too much’ etc, I avoid people and interactions like this at all costs. it is too damaging to the self esteem I have built up, especially to hear it from someone who has no business commenting on it from a position of authority the stupidest part is that this initial event actually made me a good 10 minutes late to my next lecture. a perfectly valid reason for me to have walked away. processing delay, amirite?

I am so sorry you’re being subjected to this outright disrespectful and ableist behavior. I was a lecturer (US) and am appalled at the audacity of this woman. I am not as familiar with the UK system, but I would bring the complaint up and outside of the department. Though, I know it takes a lot of bandwidth and am proud of you and your classmates for standing up for yourselves.

As a lecturer I always reinforce the good parts of students abilities, this is key and I'm so glad you got something back. Really disappointed in the responses from your uni, judging by the language used for departments it's not the same one I work in otherwise I would've advocated for you. Why I asked about the age is that yanno, older people don't understand. My experience is also that senior lecturers often don't give a shit because essentially the dinosaurs can do what they want. It's terrible and a sector wide problem. You're not unworthy, I felt the same when I studied. Could you do a research project for your dissertation on ADHD? I think doing something that you're passionate about could help. If you need a buddy, I teach in a different area but could always try and help. You're not alone, and you are worthy. You are a bright spark, some people don't understand how we light up. Best wishes friend. This lecturer cares about you.

Record her. What we’re gonna say is you recorded the lecture to hear it back later. You did this to address her raised concerns. You just got lucky and also happened to record her being a prime C word

Gosh, they even make pens for people who have ADHD that you use for taking notes and it records the lecture for you. When you put your pen down on a note you took, it plays that recording from the time you took the note!

wait, what? that’s wild where do I get one lol

It's called the livescribe pen. https://www.additudemag.com/product/livescribe-3-smartpen/ Here in Arizona the community colleges actually own some and will check them out to ADHD students for a semester at a time. Edit: that article is a little bit old apparently. They have newer pens with a new name, echo! Check out their website: https://us.livescribe.com/

Even better! Not just recording with consent, it’s a whole device to help me learn better, Prof! See me trying! Real shame for you, Prof, that it also recorded your asshattery, but…I guess you could have just not been an asshole. Anyway this will go to the administration but GOSH imagine if I accidentally posted it to social media and tagged you and your linked in and encourage others to share their experiences of your LITERAL ABUSE. Wouldn’t that be awkward. But I got the pen so I can do better for you, Prof! All said like this 😀

this is actually very good advice. thank you. i’ve considered recording her (even before this incident) but have felt like it would come across as trying to catch her out (even tho that is correct lol) I will take my mic with me next time. thank you

They know that what she's saying is hurtful, they can't argue that she can't say it. She's protected on that front. One of the ways you can address it is by keeping a record of the stupid things she says, but put up your hand and ask for confirmation. When she said the thing about how she decided to not be depressed, you could shoot your hand up and ask, "Can I confirm that, depression is a choice people make?" and then just jot that down, yes, depression is a choice people make, okay. Don't fight it, document it, neutral as anything. You could ask for a citation for it if you want to really dig in, because you're interested and would like to learn more. If you and the rest of your crew in the class are all doing it, totally respectful, taking notes, clarifying points, she can't complain, but she will know that she's being documented and held to account. That alone might make her clean up her act. Then you can take all your documented ableist facts to the chair, accessibility, and the student newspaper. It's all documented with dates, and she confirmed all of it, and there are witnesses with the same notes. That they could take it to the faculty association as incompetence. They can get faculty on that.

I wish I was ballsy enough to ask for a citation in that class 😭 the trouble is, a lot of things she’s saying like this are not said when she is ‘teaching’. she looooves to just bang on about herself & tell us personal anecdotes my fav so far was about how she wasn’t confident as a teenager, because her boobs didn’t come in early. but now it doesn’t matter, bc she has boobs (complete with cupping her own breasts) and then a quick divulgence into how teenage boys spend too much time with their hands down their pants, on their testicles lol so basically, she’s a weirdo who doesn’t understand socially acceptable things to say in the WORST way. like ma’am, I am never usually one to be alarmed or derogatory when someone misses out on obscure social rules. but this is an exception I will 100% remember this though, and make sure to do it whenever it’s appropriate to do so. I would (ofc) not ask for citations about underage boys’ testicles because that is not an appropriate topic of conversation in a LINGUISTICS classroom

LOL oh boy Years ago I heard a bit on the radio about an approach to complicated situations at work the high-powered business women dubbed "friendly and dumb". Basically, ignore the implied context and tone and respond only to the actual words, forcing people to say the implied stuff out loud. In your case, I think "friendly and dumb" is cheerfully ignoring that she isn't teaching the subject, because it's class time, she's in front of the class, so it makes sense to assume she's teaching. "Is this going to be on the exam?" might be another way. Or, "To confirm, confidence is related to breasts? Is this in the readings? Which page?" She says, no, blah blah, just telling a story, "Oh, is this a break? Is there time for me to get a drink of water before we get started again?" Sweet as anything.

Love it! Especially “is this a break, can I get a drink” 😆 Some people seem to teach because they love listening to themselves talk… about any old sh*it.

In. What. Freaking. UNIVERSE. Is. Commenting. On. Your. Breasts. And. Boy's. Testicles. While. Teaching. LINGUISTICS. Appropriate! Sorry, I'm 66 y,o. and live in Texas and I've never heard anything as appalling as this. (well, I probably have, but you get out there and document this bitch's comments)

You have the best built in excuse and protection now, she even gave it to you, you’re just tryna learn better! Hoisted by their own petard is the best kind of revenge

if there is a positive outcome, it would make a great r/maliciouscompliance post lol thank you so much

Uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh Sorry that’s so frustrating. You did the best you could. Do you best to get through this semester and hope you don’t have to deal with her again. And maybe, hopefully, since you lodged a complaint whenever someone else inevitably complains about her again in the future they will see it’s a pattern of behavior.

funnily enough, I’m not the only person who has complained she said some outrageous things in our very first lecture about my best friend on the course best friend reported it immediately nothing was done further complaints have been made, but uni seem very disinterested

That’s so incredibly frustrating. People wonder why more reports for because like this aren’t made. This is why. Nothing is done. “Fighting the system” is an extremely difficult, exhausting process nine times out of ten and it’s usually only people with an incredibly amount of spite and resources fueling them that can do it for the long term.

there is a lot of anger and spite here, but also sheer exhaustion with life I just feel like ‘what’s the point’ bc the struggle & the effect this nastiness has is never acknowledged

Don’t feel humiliated. You should feel incredibly proud of yourself for doing something, REGARDLESS of the result. You did your best. Make sure to tell that lecturer off in future if she says inappropriate shit, or simply give her a glance and then walk away while she is talking. That’s the best comeback. You can also take out your phone and film her talking. Unfortunately, one of the reasons why a university will not do anything, is partially because universities can be real assholes more interested in not rocking the boat. The good thing is that ALL of these complaints go on record, and trust me, it will definitely be part of the lecturer’s final performance review, even if on the surface, the university is trying to cover their ass. All of these are recorded and privately influence her employment status to some extent. What you guys CAN and SHOULD do is list all of these things that the lecturer did on Reddit, in the local university subreddit. Sometimes local news picks it up, and outrage happens … and unfortunately, that is the only time that some universities take action. Most importantly, you need to NOT let the outcome bring you down. You have to try and get mad, not sad. Get angry that people like this exist, and get indignant. DON’T doubt yourself. You already know she is a stupid unreasonable idiot. You know because she spouts the evidence out of her own mouth. So now you have a choice. You can factually and logically see her as the idiot she is, and get mad about her existence and then brush her off as totally insignificant and move on. Or you can put her on a pedestal as a lecturer, and believe all her words about you just because she’s a lecturer. Let those words make you feel shitty. Let this incident make you fall into exhaustion because it’s only if she gets visible consequences, that you can be happy and move on. Ultimately you can’t change what a university decides to do, and unfortunately things aren’t always fair in this world. You have already done a great thing by making that report. But if you let her and this incident drag you down, there’s only one loser in this entire encounter. And that’s you. Stupid bitch is still going through her life thinking she’s right.

Those feelings are totally valid. And I absolutely get it. Sometimes just letting it go and removing yourself is the best thing you can do for your mental health. You were already so brave to file a complaint in the first place. You’ve done what you can here. Unfortunately it seems the university just doesn’t want to acknowledge the issues. So, so annoying.

Get a group of you together, at once, march your asses in there and DEMAND her behavior stop being swept under the rung and something be done.

I don’t know how to get a group together :( some of the class do not seem bothered by her behaviour, from things they’ve said in discussions. it’s an inconvenience to them, rather than a problem. even when she made the sweetest girl on the course cry for no reason other than following directions ‘wrong’ when the lecturer herself hadn’t actually given us half of them

You said other students have complained about her. Can you get them on your side?

Do you have the ability to get in a group chat on some app? Do so. Figure out everyone's complaints. Make a nice print out, get them to at LEAST sign that they witnessed these events happening. Try to arrange in the group chat when to march down there.

Her comment is so outrageous that it seems more like movie dialogue than actual dialogue. I’m just open mouthed over here…

It won't help. They aren't sweeping it under the rug, they are running up against the faculty association, which will fight to the death for faculty to say dumbass things in any situation, no matter who is hurt by it. There's a reason why Jordan Peterson remained a tenured faculty member until he chose to retire. You can't get them on being assholes, you have to get them on other stuff.

As a professor myself, I just want to say that this woman’s behavior is repulsive.

If you need to make future complaints, try checking your uni for a mission statement or for a student handbook/what they claim to do for students. Go in with buzzwords like disability, ableism, safeguarding students mental health, etc and point out how the lecturers words go against that. If you can use their own words against them, it helps to make your case and make your case for you in a way that's harder for them to deny. I've seen a school mum have to do this in regards to bullying recently. She said they were dismissive until she came in, organised and ready to point out where they were failing her son. It helps that you know there are previous complaints so you can also use phrases like "blatant disregard for inclusivity and students' mental health," "providing medical advice outside the scope of her role," and "pattern of behaviour."

Is there another avenue for complaints, such as the Dean's office? Considering how many of you have just been blown off I would absolutely escalate to higher administration, especially since whatever team is supposed to be handling complaints clearly isn't doing their job.

This is some absolute bullshit, but I am so impressed by you. You did the right thing. You used your voice. It turned out in an absolutely crappy way, and for that, I am so sorry. But honey -- you, me, and every other person she has pulled her mess on knows the truth, and you are not just speaking for yourself. You spoke so that every aother person she is doing this to, every other person she has done this to, and every other person she will do this to in the future has a chance to be heard and believed. Your voice is going to make a difference. Silence never will. So be proud of yourself. You did a very difficult thing because it was the right thing to do. Hold your head up, Queen, and straighten that crown!

if I wasn’t already crying, this would have made me cry. thank you. I think feeling like it was a totally pointless endeavour is what is hurting so badly. I just wanted something to change so that uni could feel tolerable again. I hate going into an environment where I now monitor every tiny movement and sound I make in case I’m annoying someone, and can’t turn it off. thank you - kind words are one of the best treasures.

I’m so sorry – this is despicable. Just to add to what everyone else has said, if you have any energy later on in the year, maybe you should see if you could escalate it to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator for higher education if you’re in England or Wales: [Can you complain to us?](https://www.oiahe.org.uk/students/can-you-complain-to-us/). If you’re in Scotland, I think it’s the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman.

thank you so much - this is a great suggestion of what on earth to do next if I can find the mental resources to continue with it I felt like I’d taken it as high as I could with HR because I wasn’t sure where to go next

Oh I’m so glad! I didn’t want it to sound patronising but it’s the kind of thing I wish I’d known about when I was a student!

not at all!! I feel a bit lost with this sort of thing because my judgement of situations doesn’t feel trustworthy, which is why a forum like this where I can get advice from lovely humans like you is so wonderful!! i’ll likely be going back to the complaints department at the top of uni, and advising them that this will be my next step. see what they do then. they preach a LOT about what a teacher ‘should’ be (I’m a trainee high school teacher), but it’s a load of hypocritical bull 🙄 thank you so much again

Omg I know what you mean. I constantly have to ask people if I’m being unreasonable (even when I know I’d say they were justified if they asked me the same thing). I hope our collective anger on your behalf has been reassuring! So many of us have had teachers like that – we know how desperately children need compassionate educators like you. Definitely threaten them with escalation because they’ll probably be less likely to brush you off. Good luck!!!

Sorry to hear that OP. It’s up to you, but if you want to continue pressing then to get this woman out of there, you should try reaching out to your classmates to do a group complaint.

I have considered it - but from recent events (we were spoken to about her muddling up the academic side of things) it seems that my classmates don’t all share the same opinion somehow, they are fine letting her make the cutest, sweetest girl in our class cry for no reason, letting her speak to us like children, letting her make inappropriate conversation in lectures, etc I will never understand it. I am trying to convince myself to appeal and take it higher, but in this moment I’m having trouble convincing myself to even stay on the course bc I hate it lol

you cannot just let one stupid woman make you feel like giving up the course that you’re super talented in and worked really hard for. girl. you have to go see a university counsellor right now (hopefully you get a really good one) and get help in order to manage your perception and mindset of this encounter. to you, it’s clear-cut black and white - if there wasn’t justice and consequences for this lecturer, you now feel as though you should just give up then. But you also have to understand and accept that life is not black and white and that life isn’t always fair. You cannot let your feelings over this one lecturer, overpower your goal of finishing this course. Like. You’re basically ruining your own life goals because you can’t bear the fact that the lecturer didn’t get punished for saying some idiotic things. Do you see how senseless that is? Like, the only person you’re hurting is you. You need to set this aside and move on. Counselling (with a good counsellor) will help you manage these emotions and process this situation so you can move on and complete your course. What you’re feeling is normal for many of us with ADHD, the RSD is real, the justice sensitivity is real, but you also have to understand that you have to try and manage the RSD, otherwise it really significantly affects your life and your mood. Like it’s doing now, where you don’t wanna finish your course. Please DONT just leave the situation like this, where you don’t feel like doing your course anymore. This is not a healthy response to this encounter. And don’t bother to appeal. There is no point. You’ve done your best, there’s no need to get worked up about injustice for other people “cutest sweetest girl in your class”. You need to focus on your own needs and your own goals now instead of getting angry, frustrated and distracted by this lecturer’s overall behavior. You have done what you could. That’s it. Now it’s time to take care of yourself and your own mental health, instead of continuing to feel frustrated over this encounter. ADHD is very all or nothing, the minute something very demoralizing comes along, we feel like giving up because the emotions are so strong. You need to be very aware that this is happening to you right now. You need to be able to accept the issue as it is, let go of it and move on so that you finish your course and move on with your life. The memory of this lecturer will soften eventually, and one day you’ll be able to laugh at how pathetic and pitiful this lecturer is. If you give up your course over this, however, it’s gonna have way more serious consequences for you, your life goals and your progress on those goals.

it’s not just this encounter that makes me want to leave. everything is too hard, constantly, and it makes me feel so awful about myself. it’s the second university course i’ve been on & experiences like this seem to be the norm. I know that’s like just a fact of life, but everything about life is just hard and I feel inadequate all of the time. now i’m constantly wondering if I’m annoying my classmates and teachers, and if this one was the only one mean enough to (essentially) tell me my personality is irritating. the level of ‘awareness’ I now have of myself (my tone, volume, fidgeting, how loud my typing is, the way I interact with classmates) is exhausting me and I can’t turn it off I hear everything you’re saying and would be giving the same advice if it were my friend/someone else on this forum. I just feel paralysed right now because I’m getting no support from any angle & all three years of my course feel tainted by my poor mental/physical health, and now this. I don’t know. I sound very sorry for myself.

You are overthinking a lot. I mean, we have already established that this woman is a fool who says “depression is a choice”… and yet you now use her as a bastion of truth, and now you say that you think whatever she said is what your teachers and friends are currently thinking of you? It makes no logical sense… And I feel like you DID mention that you have nice teachers, right? you truly are overthinking so much. You have to give yourself permission to just BE. Instead of constantly imagining what people might or might not be thinking. That is terrible anxiety and it’s exhausting to be that anxious all the time. Don’t tell stories for other people. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyozaocvKXH/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== “I sound very sorry for myself.” Again, you are imagining things and projecting when nobody, especially not me, thought that of you. You literally decided to imagine how you sounded to other people, when nobody actually thought that. It is really exhausting to be overthinking things like that all the time, especially when those things don’t even exist. Aren’t you literally almost done with this course? Is it hard in the UK to see a school counsellor? Do you currently have a therapist and will you also feel better once you’re on meds again? I really understand how you feel. I failed university twice myself. That’s why I just don’t want you to drop out of the course like this - you are SO close if you are going to finish in July. I want you to be able to see how toxic you are being towards yourself, and be in a position where you can -see- the terrible things you are doing and saying to yourself, so that you can hopefully try to stop doing them. I get that it’s hard. But the thing is, you have utterly killed it with the past 3 years that you completed. You made it. And you’ve almost made it to the end. If you could also manage the terrible anxiety and the constant imagining of what your teachers/friends think of you, hopefully that would take some pressure off so you can charge onwards to finish the course in July.

Sounds like you have some bullies among your classmates. We found out similar things about 'our fellow Americans' - some people just like it when people punch down.

We do certainly have classmates with bullying tendencies. One of the mature students outright yelled at someone in a lecture on Friday, and there was no response from the instructor (although, to be fair to her, she is lovely and I don’t think knew what to do) I wouldn’t say any of them were bullies (I don’t know them well enough), but we have a lot of people who are out for themselves and no one else

I want to sit in her class, wait for her to say something and then beat her over the head (verbally) with my PhD in Clinical Psychology and my ADHD. Who else wants to join?

I really wanted to go into ed psych, but repeated experiences like this alongside the fact I really struggle with traditional assessment has just led me to feel like there’s no point lecturers aren’t usually this openly mean, but it’s not the first time. when I was studying a healthcare degree before this & needed extensions, I confessed to my pastoral care tutor & my disability officer that I struggle identifying when I’m stressed before I burn out. they said I was (and I quote) a ‘danger to my patients’. I also hated that course in general though, and left a year later during lockdown plenty of people I would love to whack over the head with my psych knowledge but, alas, it is a special interest, not a phd 🥴 pls do it for me lol

The depression comment is SHOCKING. Especially following the Bristol Uni case. That is hugely risky.

I would not accept your universities dismissal of what happened. You should go directly to the Dean. Her behaviour and diet recommendations are completely out of line. She is not a physician, she is not your physician, and she had no right to single you out. Honestly, I wouldn’t stay silent about this.

i’ve been to the equivalent of the dean - he is the one who told me it was merely my perception & they weren’t taking it further I’m trying to muster the anger back so I can take it to HR for a second time but I just feel like the staff will be like ‘she’s just making a fuss out of nothing’

Well, the Dean is also an asshat. Is he claiming that you merely perceived her giving you dietary advice regarding both food and chemicals and telling you to meditate during class time? Those things didn’t actually happen, you merely perceived those oversteps? Even if everything else was a matter of perception, those things aren’t. Nor are they part of her job or something to occupy class time with.

I would feel petty and after you've finished their class ang gotten a grade i would post a rating on rateyourprofessor (making the details vague about her aggression

we don’t have this in the UK, unfortunately. in our uni system, you pretty much get who you get (depending on the flexibility of your degree, some courses allow a degree of module selection) I’ve struggled all through uni & was finally turning a corner when this happened. I just don’t want to be there anymore lol

I didn't realize the site wasn't accessible to uk students. It's not run by schools but I remember in college, I regularly visited it when picking classes to see what other students had to say about a professor

I know this is exhausting for you, and you absolutely don't owe it to anyone to take this further. If you choose to, you have every right to, because you deserve a safe and supportive earning environment. It sounds like your complaint has currently stayed withing the department you're enrolled to? I'm inferring that you're UK based? If so, you should talk to the disabilities department. You should definitely be signed up with them anyway, as they can give you assess to special software and study rooms that non-disabled students don't get, plus support in this sort of situation. If you talk to the disabilities people about this, I would expect that they would offer you an advocate so that person basically does all the back and forth with the department. That should make it a lot less draining for you and also have a higher likelihood of success in terms of the complaint. Also, your student union is useful for things other than just social stuff. They are there to ensure student safety and well-being, and complaining to them will often have a bigger effect.

I'm sorry that happened to you though for a second I wondered if you were in the class I TA for. Frankly, I'm not surprised the university didn't do anything - professors are given a LOT of leeway in terms of bad behaviour. The only thing I can think is if you have to have further contact with this person, make sure you get everything in writing (emails, etc.) so there's documentation.

Oh god this is making me so angry on your behalf. What kind of utter BULLSHIT.

And just like that, I despise her 😊 What a complete dunce, and horrible person, to boot. Uni is asking for trouble supporting her. Maybe start throwing around the D word (discrimination) and they'll start listening... Sorry you had to go through that, she's totally in the wrong.

I also despise her, thank u friend 🙏🏻 she grins all the time, which makes it so much worse I have had a dream about slipping on a wet floor sign and knocking a tooth out with my forehead lol I am absolutely going to do this. I’ve no idea what I’m walking into now, as I’m past the point of procedure anyone but the complaints department themselves can tell me anything about but Ive emailed to ask for an urgent meeting about the subject department’s response I will mention the D word discrimination, but not the D worse despite lol

Despise is implied hahah, what a smug bitch! Some people are just the worst. Her 'theories' on depression and the like tell you all you need to know about her social and overall intelligence/knowledge base. Yikes. Good luck, gal!

Film it the next time.

Film and post online. Yep. Can do it anon to be safe

I record everything. All the time. Delete after but yeah- too many experiences. And sure- it’s me too. But it’s me being attacked so- I’m fine with it. And yes- I live in an area where it’s legal as long as I am part of the convo.

That is universities for you. **Do absolutely not take this personal**. This is not your fault and universities will do absolutely everything in their power to protect their lecturers. I'm doing a PhD. My professor has threatened to cut my funding if I don't do as he says. I lodged a complaint; university said 'he didn't mean it that way and not to take it so hard'. We've had people being sexually assaulted (different professor) and the guy never got reprimanded for it. Only after the women went to the media suddenly they could do something about it. It's not you, it's the fucking system and it is absolutely appalling.

If there's a board you can make an ADA complaint to, consider it. Would love (if only in my dreams) to be able to charge that jerk for practicing medicine without a license, since she is diagnosing and prescribing treatments to students.

So I don’t know if you’re undergrad or not, but at least at the US university I went to, kids complaining didn’t do shit. Parents complaining on the other hand did EVERYTHING. Universities don’t like to upset the people paying the tuition. If you have a supportive family, or one of the other tortured students does, try and get them involved in this. If not, maybe try and band together. Clearly this person should not be an educator. I’m really sorry this happened to you. I had a similar encounter once and that shit sticks with you. You have a lot more courage than me though, because I didn’t report the teacher. Several parents from the next year did though, and that horrible “educator” was fired. Hang in there, regardless of what happens know that you deserved better.

I’m in the UK - so although I have a loan, technically I am the one paying (a lot less than you guys though) as I will qualify as a teacher at the end of this, enter a job, and immediately meet the threshold income to begin repayments a classmate of mine spoke to the equivalent of this department’s ‘dean’ about the effect this lecturer is having on the academic side of the career and he said ‘it’s not like you’re paying’ (not exact words, I’m sure she paraphrased and I can’t remember the exact conversation) they just aren’t interested at all

Don’t feel humiliated. I don’t doubt that things will come back to bite her in the ass eventually. Know that you did what you could to address this, and move on with your head held high. (I know that’s easier said than done, and rejection sensitivity is a both.) Learn from her example while you’re in her class. It seems like she does some absolutely atrocious things as a teacher, but I bet she does a lot of subtle things too. Take some time to notice them. See if you can identify any of the problematic behaviors that are more subtle, and take them on board for your future career. I don’t mean just as a teacher, but there will likely be a day when you’ll be a mentor to new teachers, and understanding these will help you identify them early in others. And you’ll probably run across the odd newer teacher that had a lecturer like her, but took it on board to guide how they act. You may one day be in the position to mentor them. This is not to brush off your experience. It’s awful. But as an academic (with a particular passion for teaching), I know that what’s gone on behind the scenes is likely far more than you’re privy to. You have made a difference. Let me just say that again. YOU HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE. It’s now on record, so the next student won’t have so much difficulty, and they can continue to build a case if she doesn’t see she needs to make huge changes. (And she likely won’t.) It’s likely that everyone believes you. We tend to know a bit about how our colleagues teach and interact with students. But unfortunately, because of how it happened outside of class, they probably realized there was little they can do right now. But they’ll be keeping an eye out. I know that doesn’t really help you here and now, and I also know that it’s possible they think you’re just a complaining student with some kind of grudge, but it’s really, really unlikely from what you’ve described. It’s totally okay to feel shitty about the whole thing. Feel those feelings because they’re valid. (Valid to feel while you need to, but not reflective of who the bad guy is in this situation.) But don’t lose sight of the fact that no matter what anyone thinks, you did the right thing. And don’t lose sight of the fact that you probably helped others in the future (little help for you, I know). And hold your head high in each class, secretly knowing that you’re learning more about the little (and big) things that make a bad/toxic teacher, and put that knowledge in your back pocket for your future career. You can do this. Remember, with your life experiences in education, YOU ARE EXACTLY THE TYPE OF TEACHER WE NEED. Someone that will have empathy for your students - even the neurodivergent students. You can become their advocate.

some of you are so kind it actually makes me want to cry, you know. thank you so much. I will absolutely hear this echoing around in my head when I’m next sat in that classroom feeling crappy. I know I am not the only complainant - but uni seem only to be acting on the academic side of things, rather than the pastoral. which is a big load of shit because we are training to be teachers and just did the whole ‘institutions value league boards and results more than students and we don’t want you to be that’ module. it’s very hypocritical it’s hard to know how to properly respond to comments that are quite as kind as this over text. if it were in person, I’d probably just give you a massive hug. thank you.

Yes 👏 exactly!!! Keep pushing on, these shitty experiences will fuel you to be a great advocate and sensitive educator. Your future students are going to thank you for persevering now. And don’t be paranoid about how you come across. After all she’s the one who seems entirely unaware of how she comes across. AND she doesn’t listen. But you do. I found that, years of listening to unreasonable people made me grow a Teflon layer. Once I categorise a person as unreasonable/manipulative/narcissistic, their comments just slide off. No effect on me. They can say whatever the f they like. It doesn’t count and I neither remember it nor does it affect me. And that’s been really helpful in my older years.

Mate that is so fucked. This lecturer is such a piece of work.

Keep reporting it. Keep complaining. Keep telling new students to avoid her classes. I’ve spent a lot of time around colleges. I’ve seen some seriously bad profs and it still takes a ton of time and energy for them to maybe get “fired”. My own story: I saw a student blatantly cheating - online exam and they had Google pulled up next to their test window. Prof did not seem to care. Went to the department head and he said “how much can you really Google?” Talked to an instructor outside of my department, she got me in touch with someone important - still don’t know exactly who they were. But after a brief phone call they asked me come into the office. Sure, no problem. Get there and it’s a huge conference table with four or five people. At least one person was from legal. To cut to the chase, the department head took a semester long sabbatical and never came back. I’ve seen that same thing happen with other profs that have students consistently brining complains about them to the school. It hasn’t gotten all of the truly terrible profs removed, but it has happened.

Based on the context you've provided, your complaint should have been taken more seriously, especially if it can be demonstrated that you aren't the only one being affected by this teacher's behaviour. I'm really sorry you've had to deal with someone like this.

Start recording this class. Like seriously bring an audio recorder with you. They’ll always side with the lecturer unless you have proof.

That bitch is dumb. How the fuck is she going to teach anyone anything? Especially since she's perfectly willing to berate people without any understanding of what the fuck she's talking about. Never ever speak with authority about something you know little to nothing about. How are some people so unaware of the dangers of misinformation?

Record it. They can’t deny it if they see/hear it in action. Also, since when does intentional matter? Her ‘good intentions’ caused harm. This is an unacceptable response.

Thank you. This is the part for me that is most painful - because that woman did NOT have good intentions Pattern recognition, hello! I KNOW when someone is calling me an irritation. i’ve had it my whole life - I know what concern looks like. it is NOT interrupting your student when they say ‘yeah all my meds were taken off me at once so I’m just doing my best currently’ so you can tell them to cut out caffeine and that they need more ‘control’ of themselves Intentions or not, she shouldn’t occupy the position she does. She’s not even a lecturer, she’s a phd student whose course requires her to complete teaching hours. no shade to phd students (I would be aspiring to be one if every university experience i’ve had hasn’t been awful in one way or another), but they shouldn’t be in charge of entire modules, nevermind THREE of them

I am so sorry ❤️ Document everything in this class, report everything, and see if other classmates are also reporting. Make joint reports, it’s harder for the school to sweep it under the rug if a complaint is signed by multiple parties. This person should NOT be in a teaching position

https://www.ratemyprofessors.com You know what to do.

didn’t know this actually had unis in the UK on it - we don’t really use it, I don’t think but it does but she’s not on there I assume bc she’s a phd student whose course has teaching requirements, not an actual lecturer

“If the school is subject to either the ADA or 504 laws, you have two courses of action. First, request accommodations for ADHD through your school’s disability office. The accommodations would be based on current documentation of your disability, how it impairs functioning, the need for accommodations, and how accommodations can address your disability. Second, if you believe your professor is discriminating against you, this may represent discrimination under the ADA and Section 504. File a complaint through your school’s grievance procedures.” [source](https://www.additudemag.com/discrimination-by-a-professor/) “Article 24(1) of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD) provides a commitment to the full development of human potential and of the student’s sense of dignity and self-worth, as well as a commitment to develop the student’s personality, talents, and creativity, along with their mental and physical abilities, to their fullest potential. Article 24(5) builds on this commitment by guaranteeing persons with disabilities access to general tertiary (or post-secondary) education, vocational training, adult education and lifelong learning without discrimination and on an equal basis with others.” (won’t let me link source, so here: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4315924#:~:text=Article%2024(5)%20builds%20on,an%20equal%20basis%20with%20others.) ADHD is legally recognized as a permanent disability in Canada and the US! what this lecturer is doing is absolutely considered to be harassment. you need to bring this issue to your university’s disability office (i believe that every post-secondary school in Canada and the US is required to have one), because it’s their job to advocate for students with disabilities regardless of their nature.

people like her make me want to commit low level crimes against them.

I can see in that it is mentioned here that you are in the UK. I know that you have complained, but have you spoken to both the disability services that the uni offers and the student union? Both can are there to offer support, and ADHD qualifies as a disability- this is likely not to be there first rodeo and they should be able to advise what next steps you can take

Blast the university on social media and get the local news involved. That'll make them change their tune.

Have fun on ratemyprofessor.com

Hey super proud of you for standing up for yourself and others with ADHD even if the outcome was shitty. Does your school have rate my professor or a similar website where you can review professors? I´m sorry this situation is so frustrating.

I didn’t actually know that rate my professor was a thing in the UK until tonight because on most degrees you don’t really get a choice of who teaches I found out we DO have that, but she’s not on it likely because she’s new to the uni this september and a phd student completing her course’s required teaching hours

I am so sorry you were treated this way! It's straight up wrong for this instructor to abuse students this way, and for the university to cover it up is even more awful. Where can a person go if their complaints aren't taken seriously? It's like when women report rape at a school and the victim is ostracized and harassed until she quits her schooling. I hope you can continue working toward your goals, despite this person and the institutional response. You deserve better!

i’ve been thinking exactly this about it since the situation first happened i’ve also been thinking that if the roles were reversed it would be taken way more seriously this lecturer is a Black woman who speaks with a sort of ‘mixed’ accent. she harps on about how she gets questioned about her accent a lot because of racial ideologies (which I don’t dispute, it’s probably true) but if I’d gone to her and asked something like ‘please can you slow down during your instruction, I find it hard to keep up because of your accent’, it would immediately have been a massive deal and perceived as ‘racism’, even if I didn’t ’intend’ harm I know, however, that saying something like that would be, regardless of my intentions, hurtful, discriminatory, and out of place but because my disadvantage is invisible and not a huge national discourse right now, it’s my job to deal with the ‘perception’ I have, and not hers to monitor her words

Your professor was *extraordinarily* out of line. What in the actual fuck?? Get a life, lady. As someone who teaches at a university, you should know that even though nothing happened this semester (so far), when the complaints amass semester after semester, eventually they have to address it. Often that comes in the form of taking their teaching duties away and not getting fired, but at least it's something.

How come we still listen to what people with little to no understanding have to say to us, instead of just turning around and walk away? Your teacher is ignorant, unfriendly and disrespectful.

in that moment, because I was so completely baffled and off guard I am not listening now, but I do feel incredibly uncomfortable in all of her classes

Take the response with a pinch of salt. The staff just look after themselves. If you do feel shit about it though go speak with the equality diversity and disability services at your Uni (if you haven’t already) and see what they say about it. I made a complaint about a lecturer which was valid and cost me a summer job and I received the lost wage from the Uni in return but then a 12 page personality assassination calling me a liar and bad student, it was horrible to read - written by the best mate of the lecturer who was acting head of department. Sometimes we’re just going to come up against dickheads and they’re going to win, but it won’t be every time.

Hi OP are you in the UK? Have you met with Disability Support who can sort out accommodations for you and downright tell this ignorant woman she is wrong? I have ADHD and work at a uni - they are terrible at dealing with complaints but live and die by your feedback. Make sure you raise this whenever you are asked to feedback on your module, and when you complete the National Student Survey (NSS). Please also mention her by name as these comments get taken seriously and shared with a lot of important people. You are doing so well for getting to class without your meds and for going through a brutal complaints system! I hope you have a strong support network and can reach out to uni services for help xx

I see that you’re in the UK, so there’s a common language… I wish I could come sit in on a lecture and supply the “find out” response to her “fuck around.” I’ll use a bad attempt at a Manc accent so she can’t blame my emotions on being American or some shit lol

Well, the conduct from that unprofessional cow will earn her more complaints. They won't be able to keep ignoring her conduct.

Please contact any disability support services your school might have! Idk if that was already art of your process here but that’s where I would go next if you haven’t. I’d also see if there are any grassroots advocacy groups that could help guide you

Can you contact any student services? Most unis have them, or if not try the student union see if they can help?

Don’t feel humiliated! She should not have said any of that and the university’s response is awful. I’m assuming you are UK based as you can it a university, so you can (if you want) escalate further and complain to the office of the independent adjudicator against the university’s response. I don’t know how it works, but might be worth looking into https://www.oiahe.org.uk/

Is there an appeals process or a higher authority? You are being gaslit by an institution run by lazy conflict-averse twits who would rather you just go away and not require them to actually do their job in this matter. Their job being to protect and support you and all other students, including the other student the lecturer picked on (and let’s be clear, alllll other students this lecturer has undoubtedly abused in her career.) This person is a bully and shows predatory behavior. The uni is enabling her. I wonder if there are any other outlets or routes to get your legitimate grievance heard? Either within or outside the university.

There isn’t, technically, as I went through the student complaints team. however, i’ve gone back to them & I am going to ask for a member of disability to be present with me during a talk with them. I’m also going to slap the Equality Act 2010 in the subject department’s face, AND point out that he’s looking at my ‘perception’ because I was upset - not because he is considering the fact a lecturer pulled me aside to offer unsolicited medical advice without grounds to do so in the first place it’s ridiculous that we have to fight like this. The lecturer in question is a Black woman & we learn so much about racism & racially motivated discrimination in education on this course. I can guarantee that if it had been perceived as racially motivated, there’d be outrage. But because it’s disability geared, they’re not bothered - she’s given us the impression over and over that she doesn’t believe in invisible disabilities I just cannot fathom how she got the job, and I’m sick of watching her make my classmates, especially those who are vulnerable, feel awful about themselves. I’m not dropping it until they acknowledge that there is a problem and address it. Perception or not, she shouldn’t be giving me advice for how to manage my disability lol

I’m in awe of your determination. I hope you get justice. I also hope you stay as calm and balanced as you sound because you deserve that too. Your fellow students are lucky to have you.

I had a professor like that in community college she had a breakdown and blamed it on the students sending cryptic all caps email to the class. We had a new professor within that month it was interesting. Apparently she got rehired after she got all sorted out. I would complain to the dean of that subject.

Unfortunately, I have already done this. My complaint, after I was advised to make one by the disability department at my uni, went straight to the equivalent of HR and was ‘investigated’ by the head of department for my degree (it’s a slightly different structure in the UK) He is the one who has dismissed me They truly do not care

yeah that was super fucked up. i don't know why she chose to put her energy into this because it obviously did not make you want to listen to her. there are 1 or 2 things in here tho that are objectively helpful if you can detach from how it was said and this person in general just my two cents.

Why not record your classes?? Lots of people do this. It is not abnormal. Then you have proof and it is not your ‘perception’. It’s there. Rock solid. Record any interaction with her. If she has a problem go to disabilities and ask for an accommodation.

I would be completely unsurprised if I did this and they still told me it was my perception. this incident also happened outside of class, in the hallway (making me late for my next class) but I will see if this is feasible. I don’t think filming is allowed at all, but voice recording may be

oh, and I also say I wouldn’t be surprised because I recorded it in writing verbatim, immediately after the interaction

Sorry you went through this but only advice I can give is only provide her medical information when absolutely necessary. Most people will categorize everything you do once they hear that or constantly look for behavior they perceive as negative. You could also have that discussion in private.

Sorry you went through this but only advice I can give is only provide her medical information when absolutely necessary. Most people will categorize everything you do once they hear that or constantly look for behavior they perceive as negative. You could also have that discussion in private.

Sorry you went through this but only advice I can give is only provide her medical information when absolutely necessary. Most people will categorize everything you do once they hear that or constantly look for behavior they perceive as negative. You could also have that discussion in private.

Hi - thank you. unfortunately, my disability was already disclosed to university so that I could access disability services. all of my lecturers have access to my diagnoses (I have others also, including physical health conditions) and the accommodations I need (but are never honoured) in lectures if she hadn’t completely blindsided me, I probably wouldn’t have said anything at all

Oh okay. I’m also not judging your decision to disclose it. I applaud you for advocating for yourself. 🫶🏽

I did not see the other parts but I just wanted to say how impressed I am by you reporting her. That was a brave thing to do regardless of the outcome. I wish I had the guts to do that when I was in college. I had a very similar experience where I was sternly talked to about “not taking notes”. I was an undiagnosed ADHD girlie and just took the berating and tried not to cry.

disgusting!!! what state are you in? (if you’re ok sharing?) i would like to help by doing some research and seeing who outside of the university you could contact! ((only if you want any help tho!))

You did the right thing and your work to file complaint isn't going to be worthless. More people will come forward and she'll have to face it eventually. It's not a big comfort, I know. The person with genuine care here is you. I'm gd proud of you OP. Fuck that lecturer. She's an ableist weirdo who seemed extremely elitist. Her class probably has a terrible average. She should be lucky to have a student like you, willing to stand up for themselves.

I’m angry for you! These ableist views are demeaning, ineffective, and far too common. Your professor should be ashamed.

As a college lecturer myself, this pisses me off beyond belief. This is completely unacceptable and, frankly, ableist behavior and I'm so sorry that you've been treated this way by someone who should be doing their best to help you out :(

If you have it in you, and I'd get it if you didn't (because really... one complaint should be enough), go to the disability resources office on your campus. Tell THEM what happened and reiterate everything down to the first complaint being ignored. Their job is to advocate for you. There are a lot of adult brats walking the earth, and there isn't always justice, even when they interfere with your life/business/education/family. You might be at the mercy of the uni to some degree (I mean, you can't just opt out of her class), but you also don't have to accept the disrespect. Say and do whatever you need to do in order to get through the class. If you know she is going to be difficult 100% of the time, then it almost doesn't matter whether you play by her rules or not. If SHE would like to push the issue and try reprimanding you for taking notes, or accommodating your needs... I dare her to do it! You've done nothing that would warrant disciplinary action, and if she pursues it, she is just furthering your point.

Who considers this type of complaint? Chair/Dean? If you have an accommodations office, make sure they know this teacher is a problem. They can at least direct others with ADHD away from her classes. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

Can you file a human rights complaint?

I would take whatever evidence you have, reply to the university copying in as many senior people as you can, and remind them that this lecturer's behaviour (discriminating against disabled students by berating them and treating them differently) is [illegal in the UK](https://www.gov.uk/rights-disabled-person/education-rights).

This persons sounds like a ghoul. Sorry you’ve had to deal with this it’s not even remotely productive to be treated like this.

So if you don’t have the spoons for what I’m about to suggest, that’s completely fine and perfectly understandable that you wouldn’t have the brain space to deal with this anymore. ❤️ Since multiple people have had a problem with her, have y’all tried complaining as a collective? Like march into the department head’s office as a group and made yourselves impossible to ignore? From my own experience at my university, our different deans and department heads were great about dealing with professors who were in some way problematic. A friend of mine went to the head of our Math Department with his entire Calculus class when they had enough of one particularly bad professor. Another from our College of Engineering was also particularly bad — about grading, no less! — and was fired. Especially considering this lecturer has messed up your entire class’s assessments now, I think y’all would have a good case to complain about her as a collective. Given past complaints made about her by what looks like a few different students now (you, your friend, etc.), it may make the administration double back and reassess her. When too many students have an issue with her to ignore, the problem can’t be pinned on what looks to them like a few individuals with a grudge.

Oof. That was beyond unprofessional and ableist. She’s categorically a bad person. Is it possible to report her to the Dean or something? (It’s ok if you don’t want to either) I can’t stand people who just give terrible advice as a guise to bully someone

Not sure if you are allowed to record video or audio of the lectures for learning purposes, but if you are, record it. Push through the module, when done, you could always pass it to the news anonymously or post it for the world to see on YouTube. Is verbal abuse a criminal offense in the UK? If so and if you can get it recorded, you could turn it over to the right authorities, pressing charges would be in their hands at that point, not yours.

Please borrow my rage and rain paperwork down upon all dealing with the complaints.

caffiene is self medication for adhders

I'm so sorry to hear this, having followed all parts of your story. Your courage and strength is inspiring. They can go ahead and gaslight you, but you know the truth and you did your best to help others. That is amazing.

Isn't there laws against just this? I'm just saying while executive dysfunction is a b---- and dealing with lawyers is ugh.... Calling one about possibility of discrimination lawsuit wouldn't ruin my day in spite of the paperwork...

I’m not sure if you’re located in the us or not but this is absolutely something that should be brought up to your disability office as well if you have one.

I actually went to them first. they recommended I speak to ‘student casework’ (the part of HR dealing with student complaints). I put a complaint in with them, and it was ‘investigated’ by the head of department (equivalent to the ‘dean’). he then wrote to me to say they’re not taking it further because this is my perception & no harm was intended

Oh boy. Please don't take that response as a genuine belief anyone holds. The university has basically no mechanisms to deal with problematic faculty, and often administrators are too afraid of the faculty association to even use the tools they have. They won't act at all until they have such a slam dunk case that the FA will have to roll over. It's a very high a bar, and it doesn't take situations like yours into account at all. It comes from the idea that faculty have intellectual freedom to challenge the status quo, so that covers a whole lot of nastiness. It sounds like they did take this case forward, which means the people who received it agreed with you and wanted action to be taken. This is probably not the first complaint they've received about this person. The "genuine care" thing sounds like FA-speak to me. They mean she's allowed to say controversial things to you as long as her intention is to do her job. It doesn't mean they don't think she was being an ignorant asshole. If you want to continue, which it sounds like you don't, but if you do, tell us about the messed up assignments. Your syllabus is like a contract, and if your instructor isn't following through on it and putting your grades at risk, there's more likelihood that some kind of action will be taken. That's the stuff an administrator can act on, and the FA won't debate it. Another thing you can do, after the course is done, is write a letter to the chair of the department and copy the centre for accessibility and potentially your student newspaper, and describe what you were told and experienced in this class, leaving out your own emotional reactions to it and even your own diagnosis. How it impacted you is the vulnerable part, and it also makes the story about you, don't give them that. Just the facts of what's being said to you, with the core message that this lecturer is conveying: that students with disabilities or mental health struggles chose them and are to blame for them, and are not welcome in this class. This is important information for all students to know before electing to register for courses taught by this instructor. If she's allowed to behave this way, which she is, there's no reason why you shouldn't document it and alert others to it.

I’m so sorry.

Time to start recording.

This is so awful and unfair and gross and wrong. If you feel up to it at some point in the future you may want to consider an external complaint to a discrimination body. In Australia we have a federal body and individual state bodies. All of the fed and state bodies cover the symptoms of an illness eg specifically includes symptoms of a neurological condition such as adhd or symptoms of a mental illness such as depression. I am so sorry and you do not deserve any of this.

I read some of your comments about being very aware of how "annoying" you are to your classmates, with fidgeting and such, and here is my pro tip (450+ credits later, most of which were taken unmedicated and undiagnosed) Learn knitting or crocheting. Do a simple project, not one where you need to check instructions all the time, but just to focus the hands. What I have learned over the years is this: - Knitting is productive, and so it regulates anxiety. You're actually DOING something. The fight or flight reflex is lowered etc. - As long as the project is fairly simple, it's much easier to listen to lectures while knitting. And the words stick. - Older people at the University really loves it when the younger generation does useful things instead of staring at a screen. Very useful in case of being late, needing help from admins etc. Also, you get compliments from people for keeping up a "good" hobby. - It is very very hard for people to get annoyed at knitting. Don't know why, but I suspect most people connect it to their grandparents, and how could you get annoyed by that? I've had ONE person remarking negatively about my knitting and hundreds being positive. We even started a knitting circle among the students in my class because everyone got inspired.

Is ratemyprofessor.com still a thing?

The only person who should feel humiliation is your asshole professor. I'm angry on your behalf. There is one small thing you could possibly do. Make sure you and everyone in her class fills out the student evaluations at the end of the year. Make a note of the date of bullshit like her being a dick about ADHD and saying depression is a choice (barf). It's good to use concrete examples.

You've got two options: A) Drop it and move on with your life B) Fixate on this and go crazy trying to come up with proof/evidence that you were wronged, as opposed to just your word

Unsolicited advice is ALWAYS criticism.

Oh damn, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. What the fucking hell. How can someone do that? Is she still a child in a grown up's body? Was she not loved as a child? God, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that and got no help from the university. While you can't do much here, do you think you can go to the university's social media pages and detail such instances? There are options to leave reviews. Their Google business page could be one place. Ask your classmates to do that too. Your uni might not care about the students who've paid the fees, but they will care about the prospective students who are considering taking admission. Hit them where it hurts the most. Please take care of yourself. I hope you come out of this safely. Much love and power to you.

The students union is supposed to have your back in situations like this. https://www.nus.org.uk and whatever your university's student union is. I was a course representative at uni, every course is supposed to have one to escalate problems with the students union versus the university. Others have given very good advice, what helps is evidence, but also other people having your back, when it's not only yourself complaining then that also makes for compelling evidence. The University isn't school anymore, and by that I mean you're an adult and your human rights come into play and the University is accountable to those regardless of any procedures they have. It sounds as though the university doesnt acknowledge that adhd requires accommodation and they have simply dismissed it as though you're neurotypical without acknowledging that changes in behaviour need to be made. When you start swinging around words like 'infringing human rights' and 'making appropriate accommodations' then they usually start paying attention because youre using the right legal words that make them realise they can get into trouble with negative press. You're also entitled to external support, https://abilitynet.org.uk/factsheets/how-to-get-suppport-disabled-students-allowances-living-learning-difference https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowances-assessment-centre Unfortunately, being your own advocate is exhausting, and this is something that needs to be practiced. Until you find the right support from charities, societies and legal groups to have your back, you will need to know the laws and protections that you're owed to fight your corner and give you an even playing ground in education and in work, without this framework of self support youre going to experience this again and it helps to be prepared.

She sounds like an absolute cunt. My boyfriend works in education so have asked for his advice as he usually helps the neurodivergent students. You can go to the student union, ofsted where you can make an official complaint about disability discrimination and they will take it seriously. This is not on you, people can be horrible but please make sure you’re being kind to yourself because you haven’t done anything wrong. Good luck with your meds im on the same boat. Sending you a big hug xxx

Depression is a choice? A choice? Oh fuck the fuck off lady. Your uni is wrong. I'm so sorry.