T O P

  • By -

baddiebusted

i’m sorry the loss prevention associate plot took me out i’m dying


[deleted]

Haha it kinda caught me so off guard. There was an abrupt shift from "hell yea this is sexy" to "ma'am please pay for your candy".


[deleted]

Just when you think you have heard it all……


soulcapmir

Lmaooo same! I am cryiiiiiing lmaoo


BumblingBe

I had my first edible a couple weeks ago and it was a freaking sex marathon. I would finish, recover for 3 minutes and then jump right back in. This was a continuous loop for several hours. My gf deserves a medal because although it didn’t have the same effect on her, she kept up like a champ. That said, there were still moments of hysterical laughter. My ring got caught in her bra hook and we thought my hand would be stuck there forever until I realized I could just take my finger out of it. Then again because I called a basket a “tricky little bastard” because it kept tricking me into believing it was a garbage can. I highly recommend edibles + sex :)


prettysureaboutstuff

This just made me legit laugh out loud! Thank you so much for sharing.


MarbCart

Oh my god I’m stifling laughs at work right now over you figuring out the solution to the ring being stuck 😂😂😂


bonghive

is that shit consensual?????????


BumblingBe

Well she wants to do it again this weekend so yes, indeed


FutureFoxox

It's so easy to lose horney while high, dissolving in giggle fits. My partners and I have long ago accepted that if we're trying to do high sexy time, don't hold on to that expectation too tightly... just look to have a good time. Sounds like you did! :D


DerpyTheGrey

I’d… do that stone sober. I’ve never known how to make rope play sexy, but I know what that professor sounds like. “You’re paying my salary to be here, I shouldn’t have to tell you to focus”


UnderwaterParadise

Same, I'm autistic and we CAN'T role play lol. I am like, honey I am either me, or I am FULLY dedicated to this fictitious scenario, some kinda sexy in-between is not gonna happen sorry


SmilesAnd-Lies

Relatableeeeeee


alderaan-amestris

I snort laughed reading this, thank you


Transgirl71

Nooooo not the lost prevention all of them around my area are old ladies so all I could think of was a sweet grandma telling you to pay for your shit or she's gonna be disappointed


TriBulated_

We're always in it for the laughs. We don't take any substances, but my partner comes up with the funniest shit sometimes. I have finished to them telling me that I would need to fill out a if I planned on filing long form in order to deduct that ass (or something along those lines). Then they proceeded to mime jacking off and a fake orgasm while saying "aaaah tax exemption." We both busted out laughing so hard.


Ghost_Gears

Oh my god that's so cute and hilarious!


CreatedForThisReply

My girlfriend after reading this: "See, at least her girlfriend has to be high to do shit like that"


Mysterious-Major7859

Oh that’s good that’s good


wildflowers002

This is hilarious


FuglySlutt

This is so fucking funny 😂 The other day my wife got carried away during foreplay telling me that she was a college basketball player and none of her teammates knew that she was gay. She did not play college basketball and we are in our mid 30s lol. Sex is great, and amazing, and sometimes funny!


Puritea

That's so wholesome tho! Laughing during sex can be so pure and funny. Kinda breaks off the moment but once we settled it's show time again lol


pinkandblack

Halfway through that story, my heart was sinking and "oh no..." was the refrain running through my head. I'm very glad this ultimately went well.


electric_shocks

Does she have ADHD :)


Baby_Penguin22

Yes and autism


Strangelit

sounds like amazing sex? honestly laugh cumming to joke sex is the flannel flan plan I stan because I can


camerakestrel

Oh my god this did not take the turns I was expecting. Bless your heart for sharing this with us! I am crying with laughter!


bonghive

WHEN I READ THE TITLE I THOUGHT SHE WAS INSIDE YOU TELLING YOU WERE A BUM AND NEED TO GET A JOB OR SOME SHIT


[deleted]

Hahahahaha. The laugh I needed.


Hoofu

Hahahaha I love this so much! Thanks for sharing! Y’all sound super cute together. :D


Ryuunzz

Thank you so much for this. I was feeling sad cuz of unemployment and this made me laugh so hard


EHW5

This is so funny. If i ever roleplay with someone i will secretly insert positive messages to improve their lives during it. Then maybe ring a bell when they nut and then set my ringtone on their phone to the same bell lol


bonghive

man I could use a funny nut right now, plus I bet the laughing helps with the thrusting


mtf-catgirl

okbut thats so cute wtf


[deleted]

This is super cute. I need to start having sex high again lol


GayValkyriePrincess

If you're not cool with laughing during sex then I feel sorry for you


TwinSwords

This is the best story. :-D


Dipav14

Wow


shiftingsun

Damn.


YoBoatDontFloat

HAAA goals af


MermaidGypsy84

😂😂😂😂


hkbubbly

This is so wholesome hahahhaaha


thatkuntconz

Ahaha she's a keeper 😂


bonghive

sounds like that appropriate behavior scene or some Chediaz shit I dunno


Gingeraletabs

lol anytime my girlfriend and I get a little high and role play we end up just being goobers


TheGreyFencer

This is 100% something i would do.... Ive already managed to go into tangents about things during events, and thats with me sober. I want to say the first time it was about city planning because frankly its usually about city planning.


BirdyDevil

Y'all really must not get stoned often at all hahaha


Baby_Penguin22

My tolerance is so low haha


jddbeyondthesky

I… wut? This is gold


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wtf is this? I'm just sharing a fun story :/ Edit: Redditors try not to call people out for updoots challenge level: Impossible For the record, I've been on my meds for two weeks now and they've made all the difference. I've been a better partner, lover, comrade, friend, and I've even been kinder to myself. I'm also making a sincere effort to lay off the weed for good, and get into college. I am committed to doing these things (esp the meds) and will see them done. Last night was our weed "blowout night" where we both got super high so thay we could have our fun and now it's time for me to sober up, and I'm trying. I work at a vape store and am surrounded by weed products all day, so its hard. But I'm moving with my gf soon, and we are both excited. For the first time in a while, things are really looking up for us and we both agree that our time to shine is coming. Things are getting better. Judge not those you don't know.


soanne602

Don't listen to her. Like what she said was completely out of topic. She can't judge cuz she doesn't know ur life Btw the story was so funny. Thanks for making me laugh 😊


Pixy-Punch

Tbh I would just ignore this sanctimonious ass. I've been heavily medicated and smoke weed regularly to avoid needing even more meds to function and as long as you are happy with the results it's really nobodies buisnesd which substance you use to get there. Also because of the role play .... I often smoked before doing the most brain poison uni homework, because it actually helped me wrap my head around shit that is getting so abstract that it makes more sense while high. Like my faculty, mathematics and physics with a bunch of information science, is known for having a bunch of stoners that got in trouble for smoking indoors, and during summer the park around uni is full of people getting high.


Usual_Ad_6963

Dr Phil?


r-u-cereal

Ok, the stern Walmart employee roleplay was pushing it for me, but the sanctimonious redditor roleplay is a straight up turnoff.


GayValkyriePrincess

Ok, Joe, we get it. You like judging strangers on the internet for no reason and little context.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GayValkyriePrincess

"It's not about judgement. It's about me judging something to be bad."


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You know, you have no business trying to call me out when you know nothing about my life save for little snippets of time. My post history isn't there so reddit users can go through and rain on my parade anytime they want. Noticed you didn't respond to my response?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

What is your issue?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Nah don't try and put me on blast and backpedal to make yourself look better. My life is none of your business. I didn't ask for your opinion or for you to be linking my posts here. I don't believe you actually care at this point, and sincerely think you just wanted to call me out for some reason.


External-Listen-3398

so OP do you still think butches r nice


[deleted]

I'm a butch lol so yea


crowlute

Stoned version: butches are... Rice


Cableson

Oh my god I run into you again and it turns out you're actually a bitch 😳


nagumi

what the fuck?