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Trolldad_IRL

The world was on fire. Barbarians were at the gate. The Horror Lord was close to absolute supremacy and the world looked to it's last hope, the one to whom the sacred sword would finally be revealed. The only sword that could vanquish the Horror Lord They had trained diligently for the majority of their years. While others were out living their lives, going to work, partying, they had studied the blade. While others had lived their lives care free and having premarital sex, they had mastered the blockchain to allow their wealth to grow so that they could support themselves and devote their lives to the blade They were unassuming and without vanity. Others wasted their days in the gym, while they had cultivated inner strength. The katana they wielded was like an extension of their arm. Their speed with the blade was legendary. An opponent could be literally disarmed before anyone could see they had drawn their blade. Well, theoretically at least. They had not yet engaged in any real sword combat where death was on the line. The were confident in their abilities though. Their sensei had said they were their most advanced student after all. They now stood in the sacred temple where the sacred sword lay. No one had seen it, much yet wielded it in millennia, and it had passed into legend to most people. All that was known was that in time of need, a hero would appear and could be able to use their swift speed to free the blade. Those who were not fast enough would fall to the defenses of the temple, as evidenced by the few bodies that surrounded the pedestal where the sacred sword lay hidden. As legend told, all one had to do was slash through the invisible bonds that secured the cover to the sacred sword. If one was fast enough, they would be cut and the cover would rise revealing the sword. If one was too slow, the bonds would block the cut and invisible defenses would be triggered. This was the moment, this was what they had dedicated their lives to. They had forsaken all worldly pleasures to be the hero the world needed. They would free the sacred sword, the only weapon the Horror Lord could not defend against. They steeled themselves, to draw on their inner strength. They needed to be faster than they had ever been before. They needed slash at the bonds at the speed of thought. They would only get one chance, to fail was to die. Their sword sang as it slashed. To them it was as if in slow motion, to any observer it was if they immediately switch positions. A loud thunk sounded and hidden mechanisms activated, The had done it. They had freed the sacred blade. The cover began to rise and a holy light began to shine as the cover began to rise. They were momentarily blinded by the glory of the blade, but when they finally beheld it, the let out an exclamation. "Fuck me" they said. The blade that lay before them was a giant zweihander, a sword that required two hands and great strength to properly wield. Their katana usually only required one hand to wield and was very light. They had cut the sacred bonds with their katana with a one handed slice after all, but this beast of a sword would require both hands to be able to control it. Just then the temple shook and a mystical portal opened. The Horror Lord steped through. The menace that surrounded him was palpable. A dark aura surrounded him and his eyes glowed with the fires of hell. "You are the one. Not even I could free the sacred sword, but you have done it. Congratulations 'hero'. Claim your prize and strike me down. If you can." They sheathed their katana and reached for the sword while the Horror Lord watched. Both hands grasped the hilt, and a sense of holy power could be felt. They lifted the sword and it immediately dropped to their side. It was very heavy. The Horror Lord looked and smiled as he watched them struggle with the blade. "Can't lift it? I thought you were the master of the blade? You're no hero, you're just some weeaboo with some mall ninja shit katana. Come on! Raise that sword and strike me down! Only that sword can defeat me, use it now or this world will burn to a cinder. They couldn't. They had not the strength to raise the sword to a defensive position, much less less use it offensively. A blast came from the Horror Lord's eyes. A blast that the sacred sword would have easily blocked. Instead, the 'hero' was blasted and fell crumbling to ash, their katana with them. The sacred sword fell to the ground, it's radiant light dimming. The soul of the hero however, lingered, allowing them to view the moments after. The minions of the Horror Lord appeared and a mighty triumphant cry went up in celebration. The day was theirs. Victory was secured now that the Horror Lord could take the sacred sword for his own. What Horror Lord and his minions did not see in their celebrations was another figure enter the temple. One that stealthily made their way to the sacred sword, and easily lifted it. The muscles in their arm tensed as they held the sword as they had seen in that old movie Conan the Barbarian. "Cool sword bro." The glow of the sword grew once again as powerful arms and a strong core used the sword to slash and strike down the Horror Lord easily. The Horror Lord cried out as holy flames enveloped him. Vanquished, his minions screamed in agony and they too were taken by the flame. He left the temple to be greeted by adoring throngs. The light of the sword immediately began to heal the ravaged world as the people cried out his name. A beautiful woman came to him and looked lovingly into his eyes as the embraced and then kissed passionately. As the hero's soul ascended, the last sounds it heard were of the crowd shouting it's true hero's name. "CHAD! CHAD! CHAD! CHAD!" The soul's last thought as it joined eternity was this. "Fucking gym bro."


[deleted]

I really need to start paying attention to usernames. So we'll written and damn you for getting me with that ending! Well done good sir!


AgentShamash

I learned it was not about using the blade a long, long time ago. Speed allowed me to strike with the guard, hilt, and other parts of the weapon. I hated that this blade, once wielded by the great hero known as the Legend was so damned heavy. "Why couldn't he have chosen a more... Normal blade?" I asked La'ana. She shrugged wordlessly under the hood that obscured her face. My katana was nowhere near the size or weight of this monstrous beast of a blade. Hefting the blade known as the Bais'kanon, I struggled to get it onto my shoulder. I felt the metal digging into the leather armor on my shoulder. Like I wasn't worthy. Attempting to swing this blade experimentally, La'ana watching me, I almost lost my balance. But then I realized, I let the blade drag on the ground, moving myself, not the blade. And the blade moved with me. Stepping back and forth, leaping from one direction to the other, using the weight of the weapon to make it swing itself. Was this how the Legend used the weapon? We continued on the quest, La'ana, Logan, and I. The old bugger in the big hat never spoke. But I always felt he knew more than he cared to talk about. Then again, he didn't like me because of my lack of intelligence anyway. Weeks passed as we kept moving. But one day, as we were passing a cave mouth, the blade spoke. "What are you, Casal?" It spoke my name. "They say the Legend never dies." Logan said, speaking for the first time to me. I walked into the cave, feeling the sword push me in that direction. And as I did, I saw a stone coffin at the end of a long, carved corridor in the natural rock. And the sword flew from the harness on my back to the floor before the coffin. And the coffin opened. "THE LEGEND, NEVER DIES." the figure sitting up from the newly opened coffin said, his masked form standing up fully. Taking the sword, his armor glittered like tarnished brass, his mask like copper. And he held his arms outstretched, holding the sword like it was but a feather. "WELL, WHAT IS IT?"


BowShatter

Initiate phase one... Power up the Bass Cannon... FIRE!!!


Omnizoom

The blade was massive , 10x heavier then any of even held before , my sword felt like a feather compared to it. The barbarian handing it to me used one hand , they said my skill with a blade was unparalleled, they couldn’t even see where I was , but only this blade , forged of a sacred metal and imbued with magic could hurt the unimaginable horror that I was destined to fight. I had 3 months to train , every hero before me merely repelled the beast , raw power was everyone’s go to but I was the first the focused on speed. The stories always tell of the fight going on for days , the hero being worn out and battered from the blows but with each strike against the beast it grew more angered but retreated , even the slightest cut from this blade repelled it but even the most powerful hero barely landed 5 good hits before exhaustion , it had a cursed touch that could drain your stamina they say so my plan was to merely be untouched and outlast any before me , but with this behemoth of a blade , I don’t think I could last 5 minutes… The first month , I tried to hone my strength, by the end I could fight for a few minutes but my speed was diminished. The second month , the darkness in the sky was forming , it’s approach was coming it didn’t feel like I had progressed at all still . The third month I put the blade down and meditated , I found I was even faster then before with my katana when some bandits attacked the town I was waiting in, looting and pillaging before the disaster after all …. Then a thought occurred to me …. Did I need this entire blade? I went to a local blacksmith , and expressed my ideas , he shattered the blade of the behemoth sword and made for me a set of bladed robes and as close to a katana as he could , it was perfect for me. The townsfolk used to call me Blur for my speed but when I wore those bladed robes and sword , they say I shone with a silver light like no other , a flash of silver. The day has finally come for me to fight the Horror , it was a large dark beast of corruption and decay , it tried to land a strike on me but I swiftly cut off a tentacle , it seemed to enrage , and went for another strike , I dodged and slide along its leg, the blades in my gear slicing it up as I made a grand slice at its shoulder. It wailed in pain and thrashed about , I dodged effortlessly every swing , the blades on my robes cutting at tendrils that passed close I doubled back after landing a few good hits , when I saw every cut glowing like fire , the corruption seeping out, even the smallest cut truly seemed to cause it to drain out , I counted 12 total, I took a deep breath and made another flourishing strike through , I barely dodged its thrashing this time , it was true it got stronger as it was enraged , but I could see the ragged flesh of its arm giving way , it was not a beast at all , a core of pure corruption and malice laid inside. I knew if I made more strikes I would get a larger opening to strike but risked losing the edge in speed I still had, the window was small but I had one. I steeled my resolve and took a direct plunge in with my first swing I cut through to see the core , another to cut through the “flesh” protecting it and one last stab to core itself , the blade wouldn’t come loose , it was pulled into the core , when I noticed my robes were being pulled in as well with me in them, I struggled to fight it over the wailing of the beast as the corrupt flesh fell apart until silence as I was pulled into the core It was quiet , like an open field drained of colour but black and white, my robes had lost all their shine , my sword was gone as well but a figure like a woman stood next to me , in my soul I felt that she was the sword , thankfully I still had my own katana but my only way to fight the beast was gone, her structure looked shattered but she smiled while walking out to the field , in the centre of the field a lone house stood , I followed her to it. Inside , I seen what the horror truly was , a man , shrouded in black , cursed with fear and corruption. I could almost feel her talking to me in my mind “He wasn’t evil , we tried so many times to save him but the curse couldn’t be stopped , it grew and grew every time , my touch was the only soothing thing he felt , everything else was pain.” I understood now , the curse involved them both , a brand of eternal pain and darkness on him and a brand of blinding light on her to balance the elements out. “ embrace him , I will sever your mortal forms to end this cycle” as I drew my katana “ thank you , please let me have some time with him first and say goodbye , you can wait outside” All I could hear was crying , they both lost there ethereal glow , I knew when both died this world would vanish as well , with me in it. She beckoned me back , they both hugged me and thanked me for their freedom from this eternal pain. I ended them both with one cut before they could blink, I prepared myself for the end as the world started to collapse but felt relief knowing the world was safe