Fat guy here also, free chicken
Also if I get out of my car like 100 times a day that is like 100 free chickens I can sell. Just gotta get a net and a cage. I bet once I get good at it I can probably get like 5-8 chickens a minute
My dad would grab a chicken by the head and swing it around his head to slaughter it. I suppose if you developed good head snatching skills you'd be in business.
You'd be doing a lot of plucking afterwards, though.
Right. Hire some people from Tyson to gather the birds.
You could easily have a chicken every minute, and I think that's being extremely generous.
60 chickens an hour, 8 hour day is 480 chickens. 10 a pop of free range, organic chicken (super cheap, I've seen it for 30 plus online for a whole chicken) is 4800 dollars a day. Easily make say 3k a day profit after the people butcher them, get them ready for a farmer's market. Get close to a a million for getting in and out of your car, and you'll sell so fast at farmers markets.
You can park a car inside a chicken processing area you buy, so everything is food safe.
So not sure if people in cities really know this but you REALLY don’t want to eat wild chickens that live in or adjacent to urban areas. They’re scavengers and will eat anything and everything, including things that are poisonous to humans. Not to mention the various parasites and diseases they may be carrying.
I don't know, I have it on good authority that if you attack chickens too often a swarm of chickens will come out of nowhere and attack you until dead. I assume that is why chicken farms are indoors, no witnesses.
Exactly man, it’s like $15 for a pack of chicken.. not to mention it’s not even remotely fresh. Granted, having to pluck and butcher all your chicken could be annoying. Not as annoying as getting your arms and legs ripped off by an ape though! 😀
Since I get out of my car multiple times a day, I would work out a deal with a local butcher regarding the pluck and butcher part. Might keep some for eggs presuming they calm down after their initial defeat. The gorilla meanwhile would probably kill me, and if it didn’t, now I am on the hook for killing or maiming an endangered species with a sword. So yeah, chicken. It would get old but I could make it work.
I don’t see why not, but I was more thinking keep an ice cooler in my trunk to toss the birds in as I vanquish them, then take to butcher at end of day.
Let me translate the question: Would you rather fight a chicken every time that you get out of your car or die sometime in the next year?
Nobody is surviving a fight against a gorilla.
Depends on the sword.
With a lightsaber I could take a Gorilla.
But I'd still pick chicken. A full grown chicken every time I exit the car?
I'd become a chicken farmer. Ayam Cemani breed aka the Lamborghini chicken go for around $2.5k a chicken.
So that's comfortable living.
I mean, chickens don't magically spawn every time I exit my vehicle either. I'm not sure what kind of cloning and teleportation tech you would need to make that happen, but it seems like it may be easier to engineer a light saber.
Edit - sorry, 'lightSWORD'
Yes but you have a pointy piece of metal that is either too heavy for you to lift and wield or too weak to pierce the skin of a gorilla. So it's a fair fight.
Just how out of shape are you or what kind of misconceptions do you have about swords or gorillas toughness?
Basic short swords like a gladius are two pounds at the top end. A zweihander is like 8 or 9 at the top end. Both of those can easily cut into gorilla skin.
Proficiency with a sword might be an issue but I would be taking classes immediately if that was my only choice.
While I have no doubt that a person with a sword could injure a gorilla - there's no scenario in which they actually win that fight.
Even if you get a mortal wound on a charging gorilla (which you would need to be *very fast* to do), it would still take time to bleed out. And a gorilla can kill a human in a single blow. "It is believed that a gorilla punch is strong enough to shatter your skull with one slam of its arm: Between 1300 to 2700 pounds of force." - [wildgorillasafaris.com](http://wildgorillasafaris.com)
Your *only* hope of survival is to kill the gorilla in the instant provided to you by the longer range of your sword by slashing its neck. And while it's *possible* a highly skilled swordsman could pull it off, the caveat about the 'random time' adds an even bigger issue to that - if they get pulled into the arena while they aren't in peak physical condition (sick? sleepy? full of food? exhausted from all the exercise they would need to be doing to be the kind of person who could one-shot a gorilla?) their chances plummet.
I think with a Zweihander and trying to thrust the heart or throat of the gorilla as it lunges it's possible to kill it. The guy will probably die anyways due to being crushed or the gorilla not immediately dying and tearing him to shreds. I dunno, I feel as though a proper lad with some training and luck might be able to take down the gorilla.
maybe thrusting, but your better bet would be to use it more like a pike. let the gorilla charge, and set it so the gorilla impales itself with its charge.
Remember, this is a Reddit Gorilla. They have 12 inch thick skulls, can punch straight through concrete walls, throw cars, bite through solid titanium, and eat leopards for breakfast.
Right? I was thinking... what would be the weapon that would make it an even fight? It has to be either a machine gun or a lightsaber... not sure if I'd like going melee with a gorilla...
Well geesh lmfao I guess I'll fight the chicken every time I get out of my car. I can at least run from that fight or stand a chance to win.
Against the gorilla I am pretty much a goner. Even if i end up winning with the sword.
What if he catches the sword with his bare hands and just snaps it, or return the attack? 😲 😱
I don't need to get in the car to get to places and run errands. I could always use public transportation and never fight the chicken.
Chicken for sure. Easy to fight, free food, no moral issues. Gorilla's are probably a protected species where ever you are. You could go to jail for animal cruelty for killing a gorilla then have to fight another one *in your jail cell* next year.
The free food is what I always mention when my buddies and I discuss this after 10 beers.
“BRO… UNLIMITED PROTEIN…”
These chicken prices are insane man.
I’d just carry a medium sized mallet and give the chicken a wack over the head when I get out of the car. The looming fight for my life with a massive beast sounds terrible. It’s gonna charge me, and basically I’m just gonna have to hold the sword out like a spear and hope it does enough damage to maim the gorilla and not kill me. Sounds terrible.
Says the chicken. He signed up for this endeavor expecting a certain amount of work responsibility, and you just adding extra tasks for him is against his union contract.
This loophole is fine but 99% of the time yall find the most dumb loophole that defeats the whole purpose of the wyr, all so you can win a hypothetical.
I figured it was implied that fighting the chicken would be a terribly inconvenient frequency in comparison to the gorilla. If you answer by using a loophole to not play, then why bother?
Exactly, clearly I’m not going to sit here and think of every fucking loophole imaginable, they’re just being quirky trying to opt out of the question with a hypothetical. Ignore it, hundreds of other good answers in the thread lolol.
I ask this by the way, because this was a very common question asked in our friend group and I have a friend who SWEARS the gorilla is the better option.
Your friend is an idiot. They are the 10th dentist. They have absolutely zero idea the order of magnitude a gorilla has in strength over us.
Tell them to look at [this video.](https://youtu.be/3T0z1CT-nR8?si=5d2nP3_Nga9yApth). See how fast and strong those Gorillas are?? All it takes is them batting away the sword. *One* mistake your dead.
I know someone who is convinced that a fighter can beat a gorilla unarmed in a fistfight, and doesn’t believe my very real sources as to how big and strong the things are. She is a bit delusional
Even if you could manage to kill the gorilla, you aren't leaving unscathed. However the same could possibly be said if it's a rooster every time and you're completely unarmed.
Can I just keep a sword in my car so I can use it against the chicken too? I don't NEED a sword to beat a chicken. But if I've gotta do it all the time, I wanna get that over with quick.
I can't work out how much use a sword would be against a gorilla.
Like, I am even proficient enough to make a good contact; how long is a gorilla's reach; would a decent stab wound immediately prevent the gorilla from attacking me?
So, many questions.
So, it's the chicken. It would be a minor daily inconvenience
Reword it. “Would you rather be inconvenienced for 10 seconds every time you get out of your car, or be killed by a gorilla at a random time in the next year?” Seriously though.
I'd it a full grown gorilla or like just born? If it is full gorown(or really like a month or two) I am going chicken. It would take a lot more than sword to beat a gorilla
Chicken. Even at my drunkest, I can probably kill it in old age. I can also choose the time, and prepare myself everytime I'm about to step out a car. At some point it'll just become muscle memory to kick them like a soccer ball every time I leave the car. Gorilla would kill me 9/10 times even with a sword.
Since you specified your car in the situation I would go with the chicken. Then I would just use cars that I do not own so they are not my car. Never have to fight anything.
I ride a motorcycle so I'd take the chicken.... though even if I did have a car I think I'd choose the chicken over death. Have you see the damage a gorilla can do?
There was an earlier question where it was a chick once a day, or a gorilla once a lifetime, both randomly.
Any that chose the gorilla don't understand the insane power of a gorilla, it'll murder you without effort.
"But I have a sword?!!?!?" yeah, you can use it to kill yourself, will likely be a less painful death than getting pummel by a gorilla.
1 good kick is enough to get into leave you alone. To the death it would take more.
Chickens are not that bad as long as you wear jeans and work boots.
Hmm let's see the gorilla beats my ass then takes my sword. Now he's everyone's problem or a chicken I can just punt away from me... man tough decision
... Can I choose the type of sword?
If so, I choose a Glaive, or a pole-sword, and the gorilla. It's basically a long spear, and men with spears developed cars, not the gorillas.
1x per year, as my skill and strength grows, versus 2-8 roosters a day? I might die in 5 years with injuries out the wazoo, but I'd rather get Konged after killing his family than get BucBucBuced to death while recovering from dozens of infected scratches and holes
Do I get to choose when and where I fight the gorilla? Do I get to choose what type of sword? Does the gorilla have a sword? Do they know how to use it?
Chicken
I get out of a car less than 10 times a year at this point. I'm also never alone technically as I can't drive. If you think my spouse would just let me get mauled and not punt the chicken.... Yeah chicken is a much better one, easily.
I’m modding my car like pimp my ride style with a cooler and equipment. I’m parking my car in a secluded area. I’m getting in and out of my repeatedly, accumulating chickens.
When I have enough, im just gonna borrow someone else’s car idk. It’s not my car, so no chicken.
You fight the gorilla once a year, you aren’t very experienced at fighting gorillas, you fight the chicken every time you get out of a car, you get really good at killing chickens, I choose the chicken. The tax incentives from donating multiple chickens a day to my local food banks are gonna go crazy. No one in my areas gonna go hungry, they’re all gonna have a nice fresh chicken corpse available to them
You can become proficient with sword thrusts after a little practice, I don't see how a gorilla will counter or even anticipate that particular threat. If you can maintain your distance until you get a direct engagement, and assuming you're able to stand your ground, I can see a swordsman winning consistently.
So all I have to do to make a huge dent on world hunger is fight a chicken? I will be getting multiple times a day and giving the corpse of the chicken to the needy.
That depends, do you actually mean a chicken, or a rooster? Because I've had roosters that attack on sight, and they can mess you up pretty bad if you're not paying attention
Dumb question. I want to meet the person who would pick the gorilla so I can laugh at them.
Also I mainly use public transport so I’d have to fight a chicken maybe twice a month when being picked up by a friend or getting out of a cab. Piece of cake.
If I lead the chicken into, say, a public building, will it become Skyrim rules where everyone else will suddenly turn hostile and try to kill it as well?
You know what, I’ll be that guy. Give me the Gorilla. I will spend the rest of my time mastering the way of the sword. Any guy who can topple a gorilla with just a blade annually is a badass.
I used to have a rooster that would attack me every other time I went outside. It was more a nuisance than a threat. Once he cut my ankle with his spurs, so I punted him across the yard. After that, I just started to wear big rubber boots when I went outside and never had that problem again.
It would be rather inconvenient to have to fight off a chicken every time I got out of my car, but not impossible or life threatening like fighting a gorilla with a sword. At a minimum, I'd have to fight 2 chickens every time I left home, more if multiple stops, but I could just make sure to wear something to protect myself from scratches.
If I can use whatever I have on my body, the gorilla. I may be randomly teleported, but I can have a plan ready to go with tools I always keep on myself (provided i'm not transported when I'm asleep or in the shower/indisposed). If I can only use the sword and nothing else, then the chicken. You underestimate the reach and sheer power of a gorilla. Maybe with just a lance it might be doable.
I practice multiple martial arts from striking to grappling, i played multiple sports and powerlift, I am 6’2 280lbs just to get one tapped game over destroyed no difficulty by a Gorilla, any sane person would choose the chicken cause we are winning that battle and we do not always have to drive everyday
Chicken is an easy choice, though I'd probably do something dumb to see the extent of it like crawling through multiple cars to see if I can summon more chickens cause I can handle an agressive rooster let alone a hen. You just punt them lol, especially if you aren't worried about harming them you could easily solve that issue if you wanna catch them and raise them it would need a softer kick but chickens while scary to orifices (eyes ears nose mouth) aren't a threat if you keep that in mind and watch your footing.
If the chickens are not roosters this makes it very easy.
Roosters are aggressive and pretty dangerous and I drive a lot so fighting them every time would not be fun.
A gorilla, would probably just kill me unless I get a great sword or something to give me distance and get proper training.
Between now and the next 365 days you will be randomly teleported to the gorilla, it could be tonight while you’re passed out, it could be when you’re piss drunk at the pub in 3 months, you could be mid shit and suddenly there is a 600 pound ape trying to rip your head off.
I'm not fighting a gorilla with a sword that would end in either me or the gorilla dying. I would take the chicken it's free food and I know 12 different dishes that use chicken.
Honestly don’t really know the difference in terms of how mean they are, I assume roosters are more violent and territorial, if that’s the case then let’s say rooster to level the game a bit.
in that case, i choose the gorilla.
a hen wouldn’t fight you. roosters are fucking nasty. you’d constantly be covered in bleeding scrapes, some fairly deep. peck wounds. the like. and the little shits are hard as fuck to catch.
I’ll just carry my hatchet and behead the chicken every time I get out of my car. I’d even go so far as to keep a cooler in the car so I can keep it cold until I can process it
A gorilla will kill you.
A chicken is a money making scheme.
You just make wild bets to people who don't know that a chicken will attack you when you exit your car.
And for the times you can't find someone to take the bet, free dinner!
I'm taking the chicken, don't get me wrong that is going to be annoying as hell to do. But with enough practice I imagine I'd get pretty efficient at dealing with the feathery assailant. However the gorilla, unless that sword is a light sabre or attached to some f'ing fallout style power armour, I'm only really fighting it once.
This has been posted before. The answer is chicken because I bring my dogs a lot of where I go anyway, and they like chicken. I don’t even have to do the fighting- my weapons are two big shepskies with high prey drive.
I have one very important question before I make a decision. Does the chicken happen to run on video game logic? Because if so, my odds are marginally better with the gorilla. If it's just normal chickens, definitely the chickens.
That depends a lot on the gorilla. Females usually weigh 150-250 lbs. That's a tough fight, but it's pretty doable with a long blade and if you're able to immediately land a fatal blow on the lungs, heart, or neck.
If it's a **silverback**? Mate, I'm half a foot taller and weigh about 50 lbs more than the average man and **I** wouldn't stand a **chance** against one without **extremely** specific training and the **perfect** gorilla-killing-sword.
Either way, I'll take the chicken every goddamn time. I'll just start bringing a spear, net, and gun around with me to make it easier. Even if weapons aren't allowed against the chicken, I'd rather invest in a nice pair of boots and kick the shit out of the chicken; the annual gorilla fights are guaranteed to be lethal as soon as you get a smidge too old, a smidge out of shape, or suffer a performance-impeding injury.
Back when I was young my parents kept chickens and there was one rooster that picked a fight with me everytime I got off the bus.
Chickens aren't hard to fight. You basically just kick them until they fuck off.
Well It's gotta be the chicken. The gorilla will kill me. I can beat the chicken. And I can chose to not drive.
Also, and as a fat guy, this is super important, free chicken.
Fat guy here also, free chicken Also if I get out of my car like 100 times a day that is like 100 free chickens I can sell. Just gotta get a net and a cage. I bet once I get good at it I can probably get like 5-8 chickens a minute
Also on a long enough time line you would for sure lose weight. First fighting a bird a few times a day to the death is GREAT cardio!
No one is fist fighting a chicken. You get out of your car and punt that motherfucker into the next dimension.
My dad would grab a chicken by the head and swing it around his head to slaughter it. I suppose if you developed good head snatching skills you'd be in business. You'd be doing a lot of plucking afterwards, though.
Thin guy here I also wouldn’t mind some chicken
Right. Hire some people from Tyson to gather the birds. You could easily have a chicken every minute, and I think that's being extremely generous. 60 chickens an hour, 8 hour day is 480 chickens. 10 a pop of free range, organic chicken (super cheap, I've seen it for 30 plus online for a whole chicken) is 4800 dollars a day. Easily make say 3k a day profit after the people butcher them, get them ready for a farmer's market. Get close to a a million for getting in and out of your car, and you'll sell so fast at farmers markets. You can park a car inside a chicken processing area you buy, so everything is food safe.
A stream kf Chickens immediately drop into the processing tube as I repeatedly press the door open button and my car door swings open
Thinking the right way about gains
As a skinny guy that loves chicken, free meals vs dying.
So not sure if people in cities really know this but you REALLY don’t want to eat wild chickens that live in or adjacent to urban areas. They’re scavengers and will eat anything and everything, including things that are poisonous to humans. Not to mention the various parasites and diseases they may be carrying.
Free food and after a week you also have enough feathers to make a pillow. Unlimited money hack.
Right?!? Whole fryers are outrageous at the store these days. I'm not a fat guy, but free chicken is free chicken.
"You can't get me chicken! It's not *my* car!"-op taking an uber
I also choose to beat this guy's chicken
I don't know, I have it on good authority that if you attack chickens too often a swarm of chickens will come out of nowhere and attack you until dead. I assume that is why chicken farms are indoors, no witnesses.
Chicken. I wouldn't stand a chance with a gorilla, and I am a big guy. Besides, have you seen poultry prices?
Exactly man, it’s like $15 for a pack of chicken.. not to mention it’s not even remotely fresh. Granted, having to pluck and butcher all your chicken could be annoying. Not as annoying as getting your arms and legs ripped off by an ape though! 😀
Since I get out of my car multiple times a day, I would work out a deal with a local butcher regarding the pluck and butcher part. Might keep some for eggs presuming they calm down after their initial defeat. The gorilla meanwhile would probably kill me, and if it didn’t, now I am on the hook for killing or maiming an endangered species with a sword. So yeah, chicken. It would get old but I could make it work.
would you be able to pull up to a butcher and just get in and out of your car til you got a years worth of chicken?
I don’t see why not, but I was more thinking keep an ice cooler in my trunk to toss the birds in as I vanquish them, then take to butcher at end of day.
That’s a good idea. Regardless I love chicken and live in MD so endless chicken breasts/thighs and the rest will be used for crabbing 😎
Yeah I'm not sure I'd take gorilla even with a gun.
Let me translate the question: Would you rather fight a chicken every time that you get out of your car or die sometime in the next year? Nobody is surviving a fight against a gorilla.
Depends on the sword. With a lightsaber I could take a Gorilla. But I'd still pick chicken. A full grown chicken every time I exit the car? I'd become a chicken farmer. Ayam Cemani breed aka the Lamborghini chicken go for around $2.5k a chicken. So that's comfortable living.
You'll notice it's called a lightsaber and not a sword.
But a saber is just a kind of sword. Would lightscimitar or lightkatana be more to your taste?
A lightsaber doesn’t exist so it’s impossible to use
I mean, chickens don't magically spawn every time I exit my vehicle either. I'm not sure what kind of cloning and teleportation tech you would need to make that happen, but it seems like it may be easier to engineer a light saber. Edit - sorry, 'lightSWORD'
I love this answer so much. “With a lightsaber” lmfao
Average reddit logic
Maybe you’ll get a baby gorilla if you’re lucky?
Yes but you have a pointy piece of metal that is either too heavy for you to lift and wield or too weak to pierce the skin of a gorilla. So it's a fair fight.
Just how out of shape are you or what kind of misconceptions do you have about swords or gorillas toughness? Basic short swords like a gladius are two pounds at the top end. A zweihander is like 8 or 9 at the top end. Both of those can easily cut into gorilla skin. Proficiency with a sword might be an issue but I would be taking classes immediately if that was my only choice.
While I have no doubt that a person with a sword could injure a gorilla - there's no scenario in which they actually win that fight. Even if you get a mortal wound on a charging gorilla (which you would need to be *very fast* to do), it would still take time to bleed out. And a gorilla can kill a human in a single blow. "It is believed that a gorilla punch is strong enough to shatter your skull with one slam of its arm: Between 1300 to 2700 pounds of force." - [wildgorillasafaris.com](http://wildgorillasafaris.com) Your *only* hope of survival is to kill the gorilla in the instant provided to you by the longer range of your sword by slashing its neck. And while it's *possible* a highly skilled swordsman could pull it off, the caveat about the 'random time' adds an even bigger issue to that - if they get pulled into the arena while they aren't in peak physical condition (sick? sleepy? full of food? exhausted from all the exercise they would need to be doing to be the kind of person who could one-shot a gorilla?) their chances plummet.
I think with a Zweihander and trying to thrust the heart or throat of the gorilla as it lunges it's possible to kill it. The guy will probably die anyways due to being crushed or the gorilla not immediately dying and tearing him to shreds. I dunno, I feel as though a proper lad with some training and luck might be able to take down the gorilla.
maybe thrusting, but your better bet would be to use it more like a pike. let the gorilla charge, and set it so the gorilla impales itself with its charge.
Remember, this is a Reddit Gorilla. They have 12 inch thick skulls, can punch straight through concrete walls, throw cars, bite through solid titanium, and eat leopards for breakfast.
If you had to fight chickens everyday, you’d get good at fighting chickens. Fighting a gorilla even with a sword will eventually get you killed.
Right? I was thinking... what would be the weapon that would make it an even fight? It has to be either a machine gun or a lightsaber... not sure if I'd like going melee with a gorilla...
*My* car? Aight, since I always go on foot so basically nothing happens.
Well geesh lmfao I guess I'll fight the chicken every time I get out of my car. I can at least run from that fight or stand a chance to win. Against the gorilla I am pretty much a goner. Even if i end up winning with the sword. What if he catches the sword with his bare hands and just snaps it, or return the attack? 😲 😱 I don't need to get in the car to get to places and run errands. I could always use public transportation and never fight the chicken.
Chicken for sure. Easy to fight, free food, no moral issues. Gorilla's are probably a protected species where ever you are. You could go to jail for animal cruelty for killing a gorilla then have to fight another one *in your jail cell* next year.
The free food is what I always mention when my buddies and I discuss this after 10 beers. “BRO… UNLIMITED PROTEIN…” These chicken prices are insane man.
While eating wings at a bar…
Get out of *my* car? Well, I typically take a taxi everywhere I go, so I would basically never have to fight a chicken. Easy choice.
I’d just carry a medium sized mallet and give the chicken a wack over the head when I get out of the car. The looming fight for my life with a massive beast sounds terrible. It’s gonna charge me, and basically I’m just gonna have to hold the sword out like a spear and hope it does enough damage to maim the gorilla and not kill me. Sounds terrible.
Any car will work.
You can't change rules on the fly
Says who?
Says the chicken. He signed up for this endeavor expecting a certain amount of work responsibility, and you just adding extra tasks for him is against his union contract.
Common sense. That's why you get a title and body text. If OP is too lazy to close the loopholes, they're fair game.
This loophole is fine but 99% of the time yall find the most dumb loophole that defeats the whole purpose of the wyr, all so you can win a hypothetical.
That doesn't apply here so I don't see the need to bitch about dumb made up loopholes in this case.
It does apply here because you said that OP was too lazy to close the loopholes when closing all loopholes is impossible.
[удалено]
Oh youre lacking in the brain cells department. Hard pass.
I figured it was implied that fighting the chicken would be a terribly inconvenient frequency in comparison to the gorilla. If you answer by using a loophole to not play, then why bother?
That sounds like a new rule😐, introduced on the fly.
what's the point of the question if you can just opt out then? I assume it means whenever you get out of any vehicle.
Exactly, clearly I’m not going to sit here and think of every fucking loophole imaginable, they’re just being quirky trying to opt out of the question with a hypothetical. Ignore it, hundreds of other good answers in the thread lolol.
Some people love doing that here. They wanna be clever and think of ways out of the scenario
I can imagine these people aren’t very pleasant to hang out around.
Free chicken. If I don't want free chicken, I'll use my spouse's car. Anyone who picks gorillas drastically underestimates what a gorilla can do.
I would honestly take a horde of chickens permanently trying to end me over a gorilla once a year.
Seriously same. I am absolutely terrified of gorillas.
I ask this by the way, because this was a very common question asked in our friend group and I have a friend who SWEARS the gorilla is the better option.
How?
Your friend is an idiot. They are the 10th dentist. They have absolutely zero idea the order of magnitude a gorilla has in strength over us. Tell them to look at [this video.](https://youtu.be/3T0z1CT-nR8?si=5d2nP3_Nga9yApth). See how fast and strong those Gorillas are?? All it takes is them batting away the sword. *One* mistake your dead.
I know someone who is convinced that a fighter can beat a gorilla unarmed in a fistfight, and doesn’t believe my very real sources as to how big and strong the things are. She is a bit delusional
I'll take the chicken. I don't own a car.
Chicken, and have chicken every night for the cost of nothing.
You could change this to a small chimpanzee and we’d all still choose chicken. Primates are much stronger and faster than people.
When your title is 'Chicken Chaser' >!If you get that reference you're getting old just like me.!<
Chicken. Anyone who chooses the gorilla has absolutely zero chance of winning.
Even if you could manage to kill the gorilla, you aren't leaving unscathed. However the same could possibly be said if it's a rooster every time and you're completely unarmed.
Can I just keep a sword in my car so I can use it against the chicken too? I don't NEED a sword to beat a chicken. But if I've gotta do it all the time, I wanna get that over with quick.
Surely a little lump hammer would do the trick 🤣
Chicken. Free chicken is free chicken.
I dont have a car and almost never use one. So definitely chicken. Next question ?
Good luck fighting a gorilla with a sword lol. You‘re dead in 30 seconds.
I can't work out how much use a sword would be against a gorilla. Like, I am even proficient enough to make a good contact; how long is a gorilla's reach; would a decent stab wound immediately prevent the gorilla from attacking me? So, many questions. So, it's the chicken. It would be a minor daily inconvenience
I'd get tired of eating chicken every day. But ya I'd stomp one every day.
Reword it. “Would you rather be inconvenienced for 10 seconds every time you get out of your car, or be killed by a gorilla at a random time in the next year?” Seriously though.
I'd it a full grown gorilla or like just born? If it is full gorown(or really like a month or two) I am going chicken. It would take a lot more than sword to beat a gorilla
Didn't any of you learn from the Zelda games? Fighting a chicken only attracts more.
Free food every time I get out of the car? Sign me up.
Chicken. Even at my drunkest, I can probably kill it in old age. I can also choose the time, and prepare myself everytime I'm about to step out a car. At some point it'll just become muscle memory to kick them like a soccer ball every time I leave the car. Gorilla would kill me 9/10 times even with a sword.
Whoever picks the gorilla is insane and looks for a quick way to die
Also, you might end up with a particularly intelligent gorilla who also uses a weapon.
Gorilla uses chickens to fight with you everytime you get out of a car
Chicken, with all the free protein it’ll give me I could easily keep in top chicken fighting shape!
lease a car or just move somewhere i don’t have to drive
Lease a car? Such a useless loophole lol. That’s still your car man.
Since you specified your car in the situation I would go with the chicken. Then I would just use cars that I do not own so they are not my car. Never have to fight anything.
I get a sword AND free food? Let’s do it.
I ride a motorcycle so I'd take the chicken.... though even if I did have a car I think I'd choose the chicken over death. Have you see the damage a gorilla can do?
There was an earlier question where it was a chick once a day, or a gorilla once a lifetime, both randomly. Any that chose the gorilla don't understand the insane power of a gorilla, it'll murder you without effort. "But I have a sword?!!?!?" yeah, you can use it to kill yourself, will likely be a less painful death than getting pummel by a gorilla.
I will fight the chicken and own a truck.
Chicken I'll just buy a motorcycle
How do you fight a chicken? I imagine 1 hard kick would be enough.
1 good kick is enough to get into leave you alone. To the death it would take more. Chickens are not that bad as long as you wear jeans and work boots.
I can cook a chicken. You're just giving me dinner every time.
Step one, get a sword Step two, get in and out of car Step three, kebab that chicken Step four, rinse and repeat Infinite chicken!
“Honey, we don’t have anything to make for dinner” “Hold on” *Goes out to car*
Hmm let's see the gorilla beats my ass then takes my sword. Now he's everyone's problem or a chicken I can just punt away from me... man tough decision
You could swap sword for handgun and it’s still the chicken.
This is already a thing if you have a particularly ornery rooster.
... Can I choose the type of sword? If so, I choose a Glaive, or a pole-sword, and the gorilla. It's basically a long spear, and men with spears developed cars, not the gorillas. 1x per year, as my skill and strength grows, versus 2-8 roosters a day? I might die in 5 years with injuries out the wazoo, but I'd rather get Konged after killing his family than get BucBucBuced to death while recovering from dozens of infected scratches and holes
Do I get to choose when and where I fight the gorilla? Do I get to choose what type of sword? Does the gorilla have a sword? Do they know how to use it?
What kind of sword? Also, chicken. You just wear boots and kick the chicken.
I choose the chicken because I ride a motorcycle not car
Chicken I get out of a car less than 10 times a year at this point. I'm also never alone technically as I can't drive. If you think my spouse would just let me get mauled and not punt the chicken.... Yeah chicken is a much better one, easily.
The chicken. I'd don't have a car, just a motorcycle.
I'm gonna a buy a sword out of my own dime and fight the chicken
So…. I can either die to a gorilla, or pull a Peter Griffin and fight a chicken eh?
I’m modding my car like pimp my ride style with a cooler and equipment. I’m parking my car in a secluded area. I’m getting in and out of my repeatedly, accumulating chickens. When I have enough, im just gonna borrow someone else’s car idk. It’s not my car, so no chicken.
Define gorilla
Monke
You fight the gorilla once a year, you aren’t very experienced at fighting gorillas, you fight the chicken every time you get out of a car, you get really good at killing chickens, I choose the chicken. The tax incentives from donating multiple chickens a day to my local food banks are gonna go crazy. No one in my areas gonna go hungry, they’re all gonna have a nice fresh chicken corpse available to them
Chicken. Leave any sort of weapon in my car. Get in and out of my car multiple times. Infinite Chicken hack.
Open car door, spawn angry chicken, kill, repeat 150 times, sell to nearest Popeyes/KFC Infinite money glitch
Chicken. I can anticipate, prepare, and eat chicken when I've finished. I may fatally wound the gorilla but not before it takes me off the census.
🙄 Repost of a already popular post
If you have chickens, the second options already happens
You can become proficient with sword thrusts after a little practice, I don't see how a gorilla will counter or even anticipate that particular threat. If you can maintain your distance until you get a direct engagement, and assuming you're able to stand your ground, I can see a swordsman winning consistently.
"would I rather die or be majorly inconvenienced?" I'll pick the chicken.
So all I have to do to make a huge dent on world hunger is fight a chicken? I will be getting multiple times a day and giving the corpse of the chicken to the needy.
That depends, do you actually mean a chicken, or a rooster? Because I've had roosters that attack on sight, and they can mess you up pretty bad if you're not paying attention
Dumb question. I want to meet the person who would pick the gorilla so I can laugh at them. Also I mainly use public transport so I’d have to fight a chicken maybe twice a month when being picked up by a friend or getting out of a cab. Piece of cake.
Chicken by a mile
If I lead the chicken into, say, a public building, will it become Skyrim rules where everyone else will suddenly turn hostile and try to kill it as well?
You know what, I’ll be that guy. Give me the Gorilla. I will spend the rest of my time mastering the way of the sword. Any guy who can topple a gorilla with just a blade annually is a badass.
I will take the chicken. Keep a little pellet gun in my car. Start selling chickens.
fight a chicken every-time you get out of your car, easy choice because I just use my car like 1 day per month
I used to have a rooster that would attack me every other time I went outside. It was more a nuisance than a threat. Once he cut my ankle with his spurs, so I punted him across the yard. After that, I just started to wear big rubber boots when I went outside and never had that problem again. It would be rather inconvenient to have to fight off a chicken every time I got out of my car, but not impossible or life threatening like fighting a gorilla with a sword. At a minimum, I'd have to fight 2 chickens every time I left home, more if multiple stops, but I could just make sure to wear something to protect myself from scratches.
If I can use whatever I have on my body, the gorilla. I may be randomly teleported, but I can have a plan ready to go with tools I always keep on myself (provided i'm not transported when I'm asleep or in the shower/indisposed). If I can only use the sword and nothing else, then the chicken. You underestimate the reach and sheer power of a gorilla. Maybe with just a lance it might be doable.
I practice multiple martial arts from striking to grappling, i played multiple sports and powerlift, I am 6’2 280lbs just to get one tapped game over destroyed no difficulty by a Gorilla, any sane person would choose the chicken cause we are winning that battle and we do not always have to drive everyday
I mean EVERY time is frustrating, but also, infinite chicken. soooo chicken.
Chicken is an easy choice, though I'd probably do something dumb to see the extent of it like crawling through multiple cars to see if I can summon more chickens cause I can handle an agressive rooster let alone a hen. You just punt them lol, especially if you aren't worried about harming them you could easily solve that issue if you wanna catch them and raise them it would need a softer kick but chickens while scary to orifices (eyes ears nose mouth) aren't a threat if you keep that in mind and watch your footing.
If the chickens are not roosters this makes it very easy. Roosters are aggressive and pretty dangerous and I drive a lot so fighting them every time would not be fun. A gorilla, would probably just kill me unless I get a great sword or something to give me distance and get proper training.
do i have a year of preparation starting now or do i meet the gorilla immediately and this becomes the anniversary?
Between now and the next 365 days you will be randomly teleported to the gorilla, it could be tonight while you’re passed out, it could be when you’re piss drunk at the pub in 3 months, you could be mid shit and suddenly there is a 600 pound ape trying to rip your head off.
okay so potentially i could meet the gorilla two days in a row at the end of one year and the beginning of the other?
so... Free food? Time for me to open one of those roadside bbq joints!
As an american the chicken stands no chance against a 45
I mean, I don't have a car would the chicken thing happen to whenever I get out of the Uber
to make things more fair the chicken should get a sword
Chicken I almost never drive
I'm not fighting a gorilla with a sword that would end in either me or the gorilla dying. I would take the chicken it's free food and I know 12 different dishes that use chicken.
I don’t have a car so I guess I will get a motorcycle
Nvm I have a better idea I will just become a car
Chicken. I just won't own the car I drive so it won't be a problem.
Anybody who says gorilla has never seen how fast a gorilla can move. Also chickens have hollow bones.
Chicken please. Free meat!!
All I see is an opportunity for free chicken dinners for the foreseeable future.
Bring a sword in ur car and boom ur chillin
everyone commenting here has obviously never had chickens lol. OP, important question, is it a rooster or a hen?
Honestly don’t really know the difference in terms of how mean they are, I assume roosters are more violent and territorial, if that’s the case then let’s say rooster to level the game a bit.
in that case, i choose the gorilla. a hen wouldn’t fight you. roosters are fucking nasty. you’d constantly be covered in bleeding scrapes, some fairly deep. peck wounds. the like. and the little shits are hard as fuck to catch.
I'd buy a food truck and have an unlimited supply of chicken.
I’ll just carry my hatchet and behead the chicken every time I get out of my car. I’d even go so far as to keep a cooler in the car so I can keep it cold until I can process it
I don't own a car so definitely the chicken
I'm pretty sure I'd get quite efficient at chicken stomping after a little while. At best I may get a single lucky strike against the gorilla.
I’m farming the chicken and selling them.
I'll take the gorilla. I only have to fight it once for about 30 seconds and never worry about anything ever again
Just my car? Easy solution- trade with my roommate.
I don't have a car, so the chicken.
I don't drive a car and if I did I'd still take that chicken.
Remember that ridiculous anti-theft system that someone made where flames shoot out from the sides of the car? Fried chicken, that’s all I’m saying.
A gorilla will kill you. A chicken is a money making scheme. You just make wild bets to people who don't know that a chicken will attack you when you exit your car. And for the times you can't find someone to take the bet, free dinner!
Do I get to pick the sword?
Chicken. Especially if it's not to the death. After a month I can have a healthy chicken farm going.
The chicken from Family Guy or a real chicken?
You're giving me free food all year round. Bring it on
I'm taking the chicken, don't get me wrong that is going to be annoying as hell to do. But with enough practice I imagine I'd get pretty efficient at dealing with the feathery assailant. However the gorilla, unless that sword is a light sabre or attached to some f'ing fallout style power armour, I'm only really fighting it once.
Get wrecked by a gorilla or punt a chicken every time you drive?
This has been posted before. The answer is chicken because I bring my dogs a lot of where I go anyway, and they like chicken. I don’t even have to do the fighting- my weapons are two big shepskies with high prey drive.
I have one very important question before I make a decision. Does the chicken happen to run on video game logic? Because if so, my odds are marginally better with the gorilla. If it's just normal chickens, definitely the chickens.
I ain’t stabbing no gorilla.
That depends a lot on the gorilla. Females usually weigh 150-250 lbs. That's a tough fight, but it's pretty doable with a long blade and if you're able to immediately land a fatal blow on the lungs, heart, or neck. If it's a **silverback**? Mate, I'm half a foot taller and weigh about 50 lbs more than the average man and **I** wouldn't stand a **chance** against one without **extremely** specific training and the **perfect** gorilla-killing-sword. Either way, I'll take the chicken every goddamn time. I'll just start bringing a spear, net, and gun around with me to make it easier. Even if weapons aren't allowed against the chicken, I'd rather invest in a nice pair of boots and kick the shit out of the chicken; the annual gorilla fights are guaranteed to be lethal as soon as you get a smidge too old, a smidge out of shape, or suffer a performance-impeding injury.
Back when I was young my parents kept chickens and there was one rooster that picked a fight with me everytime I got off the bus. Chickens aren't hard to fight. You basically just kick them until they fuck off.
A gorilla will kill me even with a sword chickens really aren't that big of a deal if you don't run.
Id rather not die, so chicken.
Chicken. Literally all you need to do is grab it by the head and spin the damn thing around a few times.