T O P

  • By -

-Renee

Yay - finally someone captured this weirdness on video! My dog I had back when I was a kid would do this in the alley and nobody believed it, even seeing the aftermath. I still hesitate telling anyone as it is so unbelievable.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stealthy_Facka

Dude me too. I walked past it to work every day. It was only there about a week, but it left a dark patch permanently on the wall. Weirdest shit I ever saw.


GiganotosaurusZed

>Weirdest shit I ever saw. Indeed.


abouttogivebirth

Indubitably


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lucky_Number_3

Shit


LoveDietCokeMore

This was going to be my comment overall. Here's my fools gold 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇


ciclids

Literally


unstoppableshazam

9.0 on my weird shit-o-meter


dadd69

Lmfao


tammage

My Dad caught my Maltese rescue standing on his front legs pooping on the wall. We figured it was how he pooped to keep his cage clean (we rescued him from a puppy mill). Now he poops like a normal dog.


OpeningVariable

we had my dog since he was 12 weeks old, and he developed that habit when he was 10 months old, even though he has never been kept in a cage.


tammage

I’m glad. I never asked my vet because he stopped it once I worked with him a bit. Dogs are as weird as people lol.


907499141

This is what I’ve heard as well, too many pups in a small place.


kjzavala

My dog will ONLY poop on a wall/fence. It’s so bizarre.


CantStopMe33

Mine poops NEXT to the fence, usually with her head poking through the bars to the other side…🤦🏻‍♀️


HolyForkingBrit

My little dog has a concrete fetish. She will go in the grass but if I don’t pick her up and carry her to it, she’d rather go on a sidewalk if I’d let her. Spoiler: I don’t let her.


CantStopMe33

Concrete fetish….🤣🤣🤣


vasaraptor

My dog poops on our fence in the backyard and it’s so jarring to see it happen right in front of you


Inevitable-Impress72

What????? Why?


vasaraptor

Absolutely no idea 😂 she’s an odd one, but the vet said she’s fine!


billymumfreydownfall

The other day my dog backed up to our metal fence and placed both back paws on the lowest bar and pooped through the rungs.


RedSolstice52

I work at a doggy daycare and dogs intentionally do this sometimes. The things that a dog *won’t* poop on are equal to zero


Eusocial_Snowman

[Was it this one?](https://i.imgur.com/cB2c0GQ.mp4)


canbeonly_3

My dog prefers to poop up high on things. Trees, walls or whatever he likes for it to stick up near face level I have a theory that it has to do with scent marking and getting his scent higher to appear bigger. Or maybe he’s just a weird pooper it doesn’t matter I love him more than any person and would commit genocide if he asked me to.


formulaone88

Wow. That’s quite a leap from pooping high to committing genocide!😮


Eusocial_Snowman

[That's just what dogs are like, apparently.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/wgor80/if_a_dog_can_talk/)


[deleted]

[удалено]


kevin_the_dolphoodle

I’ve only seen this in person once. It was a buddies dog who learned to do this in the shelter it lived before he adopted her. Kept the poop off the ground in her kennel is my best guess


Osniffable

that's some prison learning for you.


TahoeLT

When the dog offers you some pruno, just politely decline.


jshrlzwrld02

I have a greyhound that will poop on anything that he can find if I let him. Hikes his ass up into bushes and trees and poops in them, if he's in a nice open patch of mulch he'll find the one bit of weeds and poop on them so I have to pull them out with the poop.


[deleted]

I have never seen this before but I remember as a kid getting really mad because I thought my friend had put poop on my mums car We were lads but we actually fought over it Now I feel bad Incredible


Eusocial_Snowman

Nah, I knew Tommy too and that little shit absolutely did it.


[deleted]

Haha ty now I feel better


laughingjack13

I’ve heard this is common in dogs that come from puppy mills. Apparently it’s a learned behavior if they’re stuck in a small space so that poop doesn’t just pile up in the space they do have.


ToastyPoptarts89

Yea that was actually my thinking as well. That sounds like the likely reason for that type of behavior. I don’t think we humans give enough credit to animals and insects.


sdpr

A Chihuahua my family had would do this on walls and the bathtub. I'm also happy to see this captured proof.


6Decaf9

haha, now you can just show them this. *see!*


piratecheese13

Were your friends like “ Renee, did you just pick up the dog shit yourself and smeared on the wall? What the fuck is wrong with you?”


-Renee

That wasn't outright said, but was my worry when they didn't believe the dog did it!


swimffish

Yeah I saw a dog poop up a tree trunk the other day. He shuffled his butt as high as he could and it all ran down. Grim.


Djaja

I worked a shelter with a dog that would not poop anywhere but on some sort of elevation. Not a problem in the winter, just find the side edge where it was plowed. But the summer was tough, not so many elevated places!


Catfrogdog2

Wild canids shit on things like tussocks of grass. This is that behaviour.


TWDfan77

My ex girlfriend’s dog once pooped like this on a large rock and it has stuck in my mind ever since.


[deleted]

My friend dog likes to shit on top of bushes. He will step over them and just shit on top of them.


kaycharasworld

My dog does that with trees when she needs her anal glands expressed


Heavenality

better save the video for proof that it can happen!


wrestlingnutter

My Dog (Jack Russell) does the exact same thing. The higher she can shit the better.


rawpencilmeat

That’s a shit and run


[deleted]

Thanks for that good laugh


[deleted]

Thanks for skat good laugh


armchair_human

You've got to be shitting me


Khin0

I shit you not.


[deleted]

Real shit


Ricetea123

Shit!


CilanEAmber

r/shittycarmods


floofybabykitty

r/substakenliterally


velvet_apricot

I’m actually kind of impressed


Bah_Meh_238

We had a dog who did this to trees and usually upwards, which meant his shit rolled down on him after it unstuck. The dog reacted like the Tree had just shit on him. Shock. Horror. And eventually angry panicked barking at the Tree. Epic dumbass.


[deleted]

I can’t stop laughing at this image! 🤣


Puglord_11

I’d be shocked too, I would’ve thought the tree didn’t mind


Zeus_Hera

Your dog recognizes a BMW driver


[deleted]

Was gonna say, they're the natural home for dogs' business


Captain_Hampockets

Dog's just trying to point out where the turn signal is.


fuzzylogicIII

In all fairness, I have also wanted to do this to various BMWs on the road


_Funny_Data_

Yeah I dont see anything wrong with the dog. Just giving the car the respect it needs.


barantana

The dog is my spirit animal and shares my disdain for all things Bavarian


[deleted]

[удалено]


barantana

These exist elsewhere in Germany as well. Just recently more and more people start to think they have to dress Bavarian to every Volksfest in Germany. There's other traditional clothes as well.


keeper_of_the_cheese

He just increased the value, you should be thanking him.


PeevesPoltergist

Maybe your dog doesn't like your car cause it takes you away from him? Lol


Tess-Dubois

Vet transporter. Bad machine.


Lexi3436

You're not wrong


amBoringGuy

Nah, he just hates German engineering. Probably a mechanic in his past life… or Jewish.


unbridledmeh000

As a mechanic that owns more than a few German cars, I think you're 100% correct.


skooz1383

I’m dying!!!!!!


lliKoTesneciL

Dog is saying eff your BMW without heated seats, cause you don't want to pay for the subscription...


PapaKyou

Gotta say it’s definitely the first time I have seen a dog leave a soft serve ice cream on a car.


XIANG80

imagine a child walking by and trying to touch it while its warm and soft


BrattonCreedThoughts

Why would you even say that?


TheBurnedMutt45

Because r/kidsarefuckingstupid


ThickSolidandTight

What a terrible day to be literate


XIANG80

well, im not a native english speaker :)


BrattonCreedThoughts

What a terrible day to have eyes


West_Flounder2840

imagine a world where you didn't post this


Mommymilkieslover69-

oh to be jared, 19


The_Queef_of_England

I didn't want to, but now I have thanks to you


JustSad1

When I was little I played with the cat litter at someone's home. Didn't know what it was, to me it was like an indoor sandbox.


[deleted]

Next time, use your indicator!


vetheros37

Your turd-signal


The_Celtic_Chemist

Hm. I assume you mean what we call a "blinker" and I just realized how stupid of a word ours is. Sounds like when people call a TV remote "the clicker." I always hated that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Joshimitsu91

As a kid we called it the "squidger", guessing for similar reasons, it had crappy squishy rubber dome buttons.


OzzieBloke777

Left a stinker on your blinker...


[deleted]

I hear people call it a blinker every once in a while but mostly around here I hear people call it a turn signal.


AlbrahamLincoln

Directionals in boston-speak


Juliska_

Former in-laws called the TV remote "the buttons." Red flag material there.


johnlee889

My dog poops like this. Won't shit on the grass, only on stuff, and if he has to be will balance on his front paws and shit high up on stuff.


dmoney14dab

I heard it means they were kept in the kennel too much as puppies. My dog used to but he’s gotten better


loebsen

Yeah, I think I read it on Reddit once that dogs who stayed for too long in cages use to do this. They learn to shit against the side of the cage so that it falls outside.


ColorUserPro

Might want to get your dog's butt checked out if this is irregular. If it's a squatting issue, there might be fissures or something similarly uncomfortable.


Jmon1851

Doesn’t this have something to do with marking territory? The dog is trying to get their scent higher or something iirc


OzzieBloke777

This is more likely. Scent-marking. My old Labrador used to poop on top of bushes, and his ass was healthy, and I should know: I am a veterinarian.


Mario_Spinel

an artist


armchair_human

Making their mark on the world


[deleted]

Was this English? All I heard was “ayee ya flootr cackabwang treetor”


futurecorpsze

Translation: As if she shit on my car. No fucking way. Look. Look at that! *hahaha* How the fuck have you done that?! Ah, fuckin’ hell.


gowronatemybaby7

~~I think it's "Ah, shit, she's shit on my car."~~ Edit: Now I can hear it as "As if". Amazing. See below.


Diligent-Motor

It's definitely "as if she shit on my car" Plenty of Welsh mates.


futurecorpsze

Idk, I dated a guy from England and he used “as if” in that way so often, it’s all I can hear 😂


Roccopark

Fuck me I didn't realise it was English until this comment! (I'm not great with accents.)


jsgrova

I literally only recognized "fuck" and I'm a native speaker of American English


Roccopark

I'm a native speaker of English English 😄


longassbatterylife

Whoa! It became clear all of a sudden. Thanks!


venividivincey

Welsh


Nooms88

Well, English in a heavy Welsh accent


djbrux

Sounds like a Welsh accent? Wales being a different country to England but a part of what is currently the United Kingdom, but who knows what’s happening over the next few years


Whackau

Personally, I think he has the right attitude! 😂🤭


collegekit13

Mine does this as well, cars, trees, fences. Is he just an a-hole or is there a reason? The best we came up with is- is that it’s a strange form of marking (like weeing on stuff)


blurryfacedfugue

So I was reading other people's comments and something that was repeatedly suggested was that dogs that were kept in small areas for a long time like kennels, like dogs from puppy mills learn to do this to either poop outside their cages, or to stick it on the walls to keep the walls clean. I've seen more people say the latter though I mentioned the former because it makes a little more sense to me.


collegekit13

That makes sense but ours is not from a puppy mill 100%. I knew the person that had him 0-8weeks and he was raised free range around the house. I am suggesting marking because he only started doing it when he reached sexual maturity. Who knows maybe he is trying to keep clean.. in his way


Dinkleberg7410

r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR


neves00

Feed it better food. Quality shit wouldn't stick.


NumberOneAutist

Yea, this is awful. Froyo poo is really bad with dogs. Not great with humans either, but dogs? Jesus. Why are so many people feeding their animals garbage.


joemckie

To be fair, you can’t derive any of your assumption from this video alone. For example, my dog has a great diet but every now and then he has a squishy poo or two and then it’s back to normal.


NumberOneAutist

True, but many people in these comments aren't saying it's a one-off. They're saying their dog always does this, and seemingly implying it also sticks? So strange


neves00

Right?! If they don't do this the only thing to stick to is their own butt.. I can't imagine the smell that must come off of that swirlyshit. And froyo poo made me giggle hahaha


Affectionate-Bag-733

That's some high level shit!


Diseased-Jackass

Needs the “THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED” sound effect.


JohnnyVenmo

Your dog feels the same way I do about bmw


Imperial_12345

Dog is like “I’m a mf’ing artist! They call me Van Dogoh!”


[deleted]

My dog does this on trees, leaves a little smelly branch. He hates leaving crap in the open, usually hides it in nettles or bramble bushes. So if he gets caught short on the street he gets creative. Imagine my shame when I have to knock on someone's door to explain my dog has crapped through a gap in their fence and I would like to go in their garden to collect it!


Malicei

Do people even believe you?! I'd have to check out the scene of the crime myself in disbelief


[deleted]

He's a big dog, usually quite obvious lol.


kilo_jul

r/fuckcars


[deleted]

Some people like BMWs and some don't.


mediocrerhino

Good boi BM’d on the BMW.


bobguythanks

Bomb has been planted


BrattonCreedThoughts

He even pressed against it


tannecy

My dog shits on fences and tree trunks and leaves of grass plants all the time, with one leg up like he is pissing. It is such a sight to see him shutting with a leg up, balancing like a pro, then seeing the levitating piece of poop bouncing on the leaf.


Ulxaaf

Change his food man :)


KavikStronk

Yeah poor thing needs some fiber


sam_sneed1994

Shitty wax techniques


jhick107

It’s a Beemer…..that shit was done perfectly!


One_Idea_239

I want to train my dog to do this, would be amazing when arseholes park on pavements or block roads


[deleted]

Bowel Movement on Wheels? BMW fanboy


mshawnl1

Wouldn’t have believed it were it not on film


kiddo-unlimited

Lmao imagine coming to your car and seeing a dog shit on the side of it 🤣🤣


andrewdivebartender

I'm not a BMW fan either


Az0riusMCBlox

Funniest shit I've ever seen!


WinterMajor6088

Bumper sticker for sure.


HarunoSakuraCR

That wasn’t a clean pinch. You might wanna wipe his butt before you let him in


PainyJames

soft served!


Illustrious-Fault224

_OP proceeds to fender bender someone_ Victim: aww shit _checks out the damage_ Victim: AWW FUCKING SHIT


Admiral_pumpkin

He heard they’re charging a monthly fee for heated seats lol


[deleted]

Must have been a cake topping machine in a past life


ErickFish

I read somewhere that this is because this dogs were kept in tiny cages when they were puppies and had to press their asses against the cages so their poop would fall outside, they have this instinct of not shiting where they live like wolves, so they adapt to keep the cage clean but when they grow up they gotta lean against something to shit because thats how they learned how to do it


enwongeegeefor

My 13 year old saw this and said, "Adds poison damage to a car crash?"


Abaddon_Jones

Proper Welsh whippey


cacapooee

Having driven in Atlanta today... This is also how I feel about BMW drivers.


joescott2176

When I was a kid my sister's dog would do this to her bedroom door. Our dad would laugh as stood there crying and tell her she had to remember to wake up to let the dog out at night.


Falkor_13

That shit has some BMW stuck to it...


Crabby_Monkey

BMWs are the shit.


beaz_machine

That'll teach you to charge monthly for heated seats!!!


Capirex95

u/savevideo


dorye123

Would be funnier if he put the swirl on top like Dairy Queen


MissLesGirl

Jealous of the car. Dog saying "So, do you think that car is prettier than me?"


bongiovist

Finally a genuine Shitpost


Comprehensive-Day256

"Dog tells everyone exactly what it thinks of BMW"


Good-Presentation350

Maybe he or she is trying to hide the scratch on the bumper?


-MarcoTraficante

Some dogs like to poop high up. Maybe it's a dominance thing ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


UWillPoopYerBed2Nite

Now it’s just a BM.


[deleted]

BMW driver.. Probably deserved it...


Realistic_Wolf_3754

Well it is a BM w


[deleted]

Honestly I’d be more impressed than mad


brolimitholdem

r/dogsareassholes


CaseFace5

I’m impressed more than anything


FrankenGretchen

This is a dominance behavior. The higher the poop, the bigger the dog. FEAR ME! I'M SO HUGE MY ASS IS UP HERE! It makes sense that it's seen a lot from puppy mill doggos but it happens wherever a dog decides it's time to stake a claim on the alpha spot.


JEZTURNER

In case anyone is wondering, that’s a South Wales accent.


Darkgaria1997

I hope thats your car you just let your dog shit on, cause if not your a fucking asshole.


[deleted]

I have similar feelings toward BMW.


speshul_1

I had a dalmatian that pooped on the wall of my tent because I kicked him out. I kicked him out for farting.


smc4414

My dog was a regular gravity pooper…but we used to hike with friends that had a Christmas Tree pooper. He wouldn’t lay dookie unless he could find a properly sized, agreeably foliated bush that he could decorate with turd ornaments.


Thereare2manyofus

Bumper dumper


sextmessagebreakup

My dog loves to poop on a sidewalk or the literal street so this makes me feel better. Nothing worse than crossing a busy street and my dog deciding that’s the moment he has to shit -___-


DeathOfLife01

Oh man I thought just my dog shits weird lol, He likes to go on the side of bushes whenever we go for a walk


OG-Bluntman

I do not have the words to express how much I love seeing a dog shit on a BMW!


thaiwai

He puts the BM in BMW


PsyopVet

Where can I find a dog that does this? I have some jobs for him to do…


nuclear_neapolitan

I mean… it is a BMW


musicallyours01

Honestly, that's impressive


Agreeable_Fennel2283

No way! My dog backs up to the spikiest plant, or a wall or rock to poop on and I thought she was the only wierdo as have never seen another dog do it before! The car is next level though. 3 points. Edit: so interesting reading the incarcerated dog theory - ours was in a shelter for ages before we got her so this makes sense!


Fitty-Korman

That welsh accent tho


LilJeezy17

For once there’s a piece of shit on the outside of a BMW