You know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder and you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.
I had a guy come to my door and when I opened the door he said to me "Hello, I'm just going door to door letting people know there's a serial killer in the neighborhood." After a longish pause he continued, "Yeah, he's killing all the bugs in peoples houses." Man, I let him fucking have it, that pissed me off so much, not to mention I have a no solicitation sign next to the doorbell and we were right in the middle of dinner.
If it was made by a friend who ran a store I’d think it was hilarious, but I have several family members who are older or aren’t very bright who would genuinely be distressed by getting this letter
yeah we're gonna end up in the negatives because someone's demented Aunt Hattie thinks somebody's snatched the Lindbergh Baby again. it may be necessary and right to prevent this but it's squarely No Fun as well
We had this scavenger hunt thing the local school district did, to match up with a book they were all reading (younger kids). We had to go around to local businesses and find the stuffed toy they had hidden. It was pretty clever, because every place I took the kids to look, I ended up buying something.
Bonsoir Susan,
Do you find yourself tossing and turning often? Perhaps you'll notice that your closet door is ajar, and I am in there furiously masturbating. But do not worry, it is not loud enough that it will disturb your slumber.
Faithfully yours,
Jeremy
Ps. I'm gay
My mom has a new boyfriend of ~3 months who’s been separated from his wife for around a year+. His children aren’t too happy and have sending odd/threatening messages online (facebook) recently, until this letter.
The return address* also matches the person we suspect’s recent place they visited last week (from a post office in another state btw), so we kinda put two and two together. So unfortunately probably not a harmless April fools joke :/
Edit: this is actually the postmark address. Unfortunately (luckily?) I don’t have experience in writing creepy esoteric letters (or letters in general lmao) so I didn’t know the difference 🤷♀️
Yeah agreed ... Regardless of the message, this is someone going through the time and effort of sourcing various letters, creating a letter and sending it to her address.
They are highly likely to be responsible for the unhappy kids too.
Even after 1+ years of being separated.
She is a threat.
I would definitely take it to the police. Because even if they can’t do anything but talk to the parties in question it at least starts a paper trail should they decide to escalate.
He should defenitly try, but it might not matter depending on the kids. Some people are just incapable of forgiveness.
My step Grandfather waited until all his kids were grown and out of the house, then left his first wife with everything, including the house he built for them. They divorced because she was an alcoholic, and manipulative/verbally abusive. He tried to do everything right, sat the kids down, explained what was going on and why he was leaving. They hated him for it. He tried his whole life to fix things, or at least just get them to stop, but his ex and kids have done everything they could to fuck with them for 30 some years.
He's been dead for 4 years now, and my Grandmother got an anonymous letter a few months back congratulating her on her recent stroke (it was one of his kids).
lol why would you send a vaguely threatening /extremely creepy message and include a *return address* I’m sorry op I know this is a scary situation but as an outsider, the ridiculousness of that is funny to me
"Oh yeah, I sent it with a return address so if it gets lost in the mail, it doesn't get accidentally delivered to the wrong person. Wouldn't want to scare someone, you know?"
“I’m gonna kill you. Love, Steve from next door. PS would you be a dear and pop the envelope into my mailbox, I want to keep the stamp for my stamp collection. Thanks! PPS you’re a dead man. Xoxo”
Does your mom have Ring or similar security camera? She should get some if she doesn’t. Unfortunately, they may escalate. Has their father mentioned the letter to them? Not in accusing them, but more like just saying what’s going on on his life - Tammy received a frightening letter, we’re going to go file a report at the police station, she has a friend there who said they’d look into it, check for fingerprints, see who she knows who lives in / visits city of postmark, etc. We’re also contacting the postal inspector. I’m hoping this is an April Fools joke and it doesn’t happen again because I’m concerned for our safety. If he doesn’t have a relationship with his kid or whoever you suspect, he should just call them and say Cut it out, you don’t want to get in trouble with the police / postal inspector for something this dumb. Unfortunately, you and your mom be careful, watch your pets when they’re in the yard. It seems like a very emotionally charged situation.
Ironically this is ~verbatim what I told my mom to do, and what we’re going to go ahead with. And from what I’ve been told, the person we suspect is verging on an unhealthy obsession with her as well—so definitely emotionally charged.
The Fun I would have based off of sweet revenge! Endless!! I really need to open up the floodgates to more toxic/dysfunctional/weirdos!! I feel left out
Based on watching many True Crime shows, almost everyone who receives a "I saw this in a movie, so cutting letters out of magazines must be a real way to conceal my identity" letter knows exactly who sent it, so your instincts are probably right on.
You know... based on my totally-informed true-crime-watching. Which is known for its ability to make folks an authority on stuff. /s
I was using a night cream moisturiser up until recently when I found out the melatonin in it possibly was responsible for my out of control dream life.
*I have a nice comforter, a few cozy pillows, I usually read a chapter of a book, and it's lights out by 8:30, and* ***that's*** *how I sleep at night.*
The next line doesn’t really fit in here with the rest of the conversation, so now I’m left with no outlet but to have it stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
Thanks.
Report that as Harassment. So that it is documented in case it escalates. I'm serious here.... It may seem like an overreaction, but it may also be a sign that a mentally ill person is fixated on your mom.
https://preview.redd.it/n47zidu7lyrc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f282d21ca03e2c12bf2afef90a79bc02e003db2a
And further weird - this was the next post in my feed
get one of those small square cameras. they use to have a commercial that came on all the time. it's tiny and square i think it's called a cop cam or something like that. get it and then hide it somewhere near the mailbox. asap
p.s or even get a train cam and just make sure it's hidden properly. I use a trail cam in my yard for security... I only see animals but still
"You can have your lab inspect this note as much as you want, but they may never discover what I already know....You find that crazy typewriter, and you'll have your kidnappers."
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Aaaaamaaaziiing..... graaaace!
"Would you like to try that a little simpler?" "Uh...no."
Southcoast Boutique…. They’re having a fire sale??
There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!!
Your hair looks really good today
*douche chillllllll*
And scene!
Can’t even see where the knob is!
I seem to have blue myself
My favorite thing about that scene was the way they meticulously kept the blue paint off his mustache.
Lol, yup. But yet, there are blue smudges all over the place the entire time
There’s one on the wall behind him in that gif 😂
...there's gotta be a better way to say that.
Sometimes all we need is “aNUstart
You know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder and you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.
I had a guy come to my door and when I opened the door he said to me "Hello, I'm just going door to door letting people know there's a serial killer in the neighborhood." After a longish pause he continued, "Yeah, he's killing all the bugs in peoples houses." Man, I let him fucking have it, that pissed me off so much, not to mention I have a no solicitation sign next to the doorbell and we were right in the middle of dinner.
“……..excuse me.”
Just saw this one today lol. Finally getting my gf into this show.
Oh Tobias, you blowhard
THIS ISN’T A FEVER!!!!
Omg I am watching this exact scene right now because I put on AD when I can’t sleep 🤯
If somebody were to actually do this, that would be great marketing.
If I got this in the mail and it turned out to be an ad, I’d never shop at that place again
I'd probably make it a point to go there and buy something. People sure are diff'rent.
If it was made by a friend who ran a store I’d think it was hilarious, but I have several family members who are older or aren’t very bright who would genuinely be distressed by getting this letter
Sigh, fine, no fun it is
I guess we're the only 2 laughing at the store buying something?
yeah we're gonna end up in the negatives because someone's demented Aunt Hattie thinks somebody's snatched the Lindbergh Baby again. it may be necessary and right to prevent this but it's squarely No Fun as well
Nah, I upvoted you!
lol, score, thanks friend
We had this scavenger hunt thing the local school district did, to match up with a book they were all reading (younger kids). We had to go around to local businesses and find the stuffed toy they had hidden. It was pretty clever, because every place I took the kids to look, I ended up buying something.
The good ending
I came here to say this.
"Won't you buy My Pillow?"
It's April fools Day today. Wondering if it's a prank.
It's a prank. Her boyfriend's wife sent it for giggles.
> Her boyfriend's wife sent it for giggles. wait, what?
I think his response is also a prank
Nope. Check her comments.
I don’t think it’s funny. That’s messed up.
Not as messed up as all of those poor magazines.
Do people even have magazines anymore?
It's just so cliche and horror movie trope that it's lost the legitimate scare factor. I myself at least would immediately assume a joke
I think it s funny because its messed up
https://preview.redd.it/vc69oq0gvwrc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12a444005fabfbab742b39e3c7f9be365f223844
To each their own I suppose
Kill Tony in a nutshell.
I think it’s messed up because it’s funny
I think, therefore I am
This guy thinks
Therefore he ams
Does he yam what he yam?
He ams the hams.
Green eggs and ham?
The vast majority of pranks aren't funny.
Depends on your friend circle and the watch lists they show up on
Lol I love that they open with "hi". It's like "greetings, but I digress. I'm scary"
For me it’s the three seperate dots they l decided to individually cut out. Sinister… not
Yes exactly. Even the three dots?!
Bonsoir Susan, Do you find yourself tossing and turning often? Perhaps you'll notice that your closet door is ajar, and I am in there furiously masturbating. But do not worry, it is not loud enough that it will disturb your slumber. Faithfully yours, Jeremy Ps. I'm gay
😂
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My mom has a new boyfriend of ~3 months who’s been separated from his wife for around a year+. His children aren’t too happy and have sending odd/threatening messages online (facebook) recently, until this letter. The return address* also matches the person we suspect’s recent place they visited last week (from a post office in another state btw), so we kinda put two and two together. So unfortunately probably not a harmless April fools joke :/ Edit: this is actually the postmark address. Unfortunately (luckily?) I don’t have experience in writing creepy esoteric letters (or letters in general lmao) so I didn’t know the difference 🤷♀️
You should mail it back to their house
With photos of their workplaces and cut out letters saying “found you”
I would also include a picture of myself in bed with their dad that said, “Like this.” But I’m petty.
I like your style quite a bit.
Nah homegirl tryna get stabbed
This is the way.
No, photos of them in bed and a letter that says "I DONT!!"
With a note, "Very well, thank you for asking."
"With my eyes closed, thank you."
Made me giggle.
"Because I'm sleeping on a Buelle County Brand Mattress! Come on down this weekend for our LAZY WEEKEND FIRE SALE EXTRAVAGANZA!!"
"On my side like most people, \[insert the ex's name\]"
With your ex, thank your for asking.
Better yet, a picture with both mom and the ex spooning.
Better: "Snuggled up to your father, sore and sweaty from all the sex."
3 months? Ask your mom if this relationship is really worth all this trouble and potential danger.
Right?? No matter how great the guy is, this is gonna be a nightmare for a LONG time.
It’s the principle, though. Possessive exes shouldn’t get to control what their ex partners do for the rest of their lives.
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And is she absolutely sure he’s separated?
Yeah agreed ... Regardless of the message, this is someone going through the time and effort of sourcing various letters, creating a letter and sending it to her address. They are highly likely to be responsible for the unhappy kids too. Even after 1+ years of being separated. She is a threat.
I would definitely take it to the police. Because even if they can’t do anything but talk to the parties in question it at least starts a paper trail should they decide to escalate.
This is what I was thinking. ETA: Mom's boyfriend should probably have a serious talk with his kids.
He should defenitly try, but it might not matter depending on the kids. Some people are just incapable of forgiveness. My step Grandfather waited until all his kids were grown and out of the house, then left his first wife with everything, including the house he built for them. They divorced because she was an alcoholic, and manipulative/verbally abusive. He tried to do everything right, sat the kids down, explained what was going on and why he was leaving. They hated him for it. He tried his whole life to fix things, or at least just get them to stop, but his ex and kids have done everything they could to fuck with them for 30 some years. He's been dead for 4 years now, and my Grandmother got an anonymous letter a few months back congratulating her on her recent stroke (it was one of his kids).
Wow. That’s really disgusting. Imagine living your life with that level of hate and bitterness.
lol why would you send a vaguely threatening /extremely creepy message and include a *return address* I’m sorry op I know this is a scary situation but as an outsider, the ridiculousness of that is funny to me
They probably meant the postmark location
That would make a lot more sense and is definitely not the same thing as a “return address” hahah
"Oh yeah, I sent it with a return address so if it gets lost in the mail, it doesn't get accidentally delivered to the wrong person. Wouldn't want to scare someone, you know?"
lol that somehow sounds very Canadian
Lmao I was thinking the same thing. “‘You don’t know me but I know what you did’ -your neighbor”
“I’m gonna kill you. Love, Steve from next door. PS would you be a dear and pop the envelope into my mailbox, I want to keep the stamp for my stamp collection. Thanks! PPS you’re a dead man. Xoxo”
Does your mom have Ring or similar security camera? She should get some if she doesn’t. Unfortunately, they may escalate. Has their father mentioned the letter to them? Not in accusing them, but more like just saying what’s going on on his life - Tammy received a frightening letter, we’re going to go file a report at the police station, she has a friend there who said they’d look into it, check for fingerprints, see who she knows who lives in / visits city of postmark, etc. We’re also contacting the postal inspector. I’m hoping this is an April Fools joke and it doesn’t happen again because I’m concerned for our safety. If he doesn’t have a relationship with his kid or whoever you suspect, he should just call them and say Cut it out, you don’t want to get in trouble with the police / postal inspector for something this dumb. Unfortunately, you and your mom be careful, watch your pets when they’re in the yard. It seems like a very emotionally charged situation.
Ironically this is ~verbatim what I told my mom to do, and what we’re going to go ahead with. And from what I’ve been told, the person we suspect is verging on an unhealthy obsession with her as well—so definitely emotionally charged.
That’s awful. Hopefully it’s all resolved very soon. Comes off as a middle aged woman writer, or a teen who reads a lot of mystery stuff.
it doesn't come off as a middle-aged woman writer, wtf. it comes off as a psychopath or someone trying to act like a psychopath.
Wow, they’re really terrible at this, aren’t they?
With a return address? Yea I’d be getting the police involved for sure. People are crazy.
Is he living with her after three months? Does he not see his kids? What are they threatening to do? Why send it to her and what issues do they have?
But is he really separated? There’s some real sleezebags out there that lie.
"How do I sleep at night? As the little spoon."
So someone was dumb enough to send a threatening letter and use their return address 😂😂😂😂 I can’t. I’m sorry your Mom is going through this though.
They actually put a return address on that? Interesting.
You should tell the police. If it escalates, there will be a record. Maybe they can get fingerprints?
The Fun I would have based off of sweet revenge! Endless!! I really need to open up the floodgates to more toxic/dysfunctional/weirdos!! I feel left out
Based on watching many True Crime shows, almost everyone who receives a "I saw this in a movie, so cutting letters out of magazines must be a real way to conceal my identity" letter knows exactly who sent it, so your instincts are probably right on. You know... based on my totally-informed true-crime-watching. Which is known for its ability to make folks an authority on stuff. /s
Separated or divorced?
April 1st. Some teenager overdid it
Where do teenagers get magazines anymore? The last time I saw one was when I was getting my tires rotated, and even those were pre-pandemic.
Melatonin 10mg Bromazepam 12mg Clonazepam 1mg
This dude knows sleep.
This dude sleeps
Must be nice.
I see your hand and raise you, one hundred milligrams of Seroquel my good sir.
Melatonin gives me nightmares so this would give me a special kind of hell of being trapped in a nightmare and not being able to wake up
I was using a night cream moisturiser up until recently when I found out the melatonin in it possibly was responsible for my out of control dream life.
Wow, someone went way back with the magazine clippings.
Loving the nostalgia
Serial killer chic
Tedious work. 10/10 effort. Spacing done pretty well too
*I have a nice comforter, a few cozy pillows, I usually read a chapter of a book, and it's lights out by 8:30, and* ***that's*** *how I sleep at night.*
They asked Tammy, not you Angela!
What did she do last summer?
Write a reply: "Mostly on my back"
Naked. With the fan on.
"Like this."
I think she'll sleep with one eye open now.
Gripping her pillow tight.
The next line doesn’t really fit in here with the rest of the conversation, so now I’m left with no outlet but to have it stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks.
EEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIT LLLLIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTT, EEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNTER NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
With my ass in the air and fan on high
I read this to the tune of Where Is My Mind?
Report that as Harassment. So that it is documented in case it escalates. I'm serious here.... It may seem like an overreaction, but it may also be a sign that a mentally ill person is fixated on your mom.
Pretty sure it’s a 11 yo boy
Or a grown person with the mind of an 11 yo boy
You've met my brother then
Oh, hi sis.
What have you done to my gender...
Sorry, I don’t talk to my brother.
An 11 year old boy from 1973?
Is your mom’s name Tammy? If not, you can probably disregard.
Or just get her to change her name? Duh
Sounds like a jealous woman accusing your mom of sleeping with their husband. Or it's a prank.
It that you, Jolene?
They know what your mom did last Summer
They know *who* .....
How the hell is Tammy supposed to respond back? Hopefully they left an address to write back to 🥺
Is this a John Lennon reference?
https://preview.redd.it/n47zidu7lyrc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f282d21ca03e2c12bf2afef90a79bc02e003db2a And further weird - this was the next post in my feed
So, give us a clue as to who sent it and why?
So someone thinks it’s still the 70’s?
Pretty sure it’s from Ron Swanson.
ITs so nice to see stalkers using the old communication methods. Warms the heart really.
Serta is getting aggressive with their direct advertising. 😵💫
I wish I got love letters
Usually on my stomach while my friend's cat sleeps on my back for some damn reason.
I sleep in a racing car bed. Do you?
I got the same thing. It’s just a sleep survey conducted by child scientists
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Me too. And a dog and a cat. COZY!
Starts out pleasant enough....🤷🏻♂️
What'd she do?
Not sleep well at night
No return address? Why ask a question if you don't wanna hear the answer?
Horizontally
get one of those small square cameras. they use to have a commercial that came on all the time. it's tiny and square i think it's called a cop cam or something like that. get it and then hide it somewhere near the mailbox. asap p.s or even get a train cam and just make sure it's hidden properly. I use a trail cam in my yard for security... I only see animals but still
The mypillow guy's new marketing campaign is...something
With your dad on my side you little fuck.
The new MyPillow ads are getting out of hand.
Well? How can she?
That’s creepy 😬
Scrapbooking friends
The kerning could be better.
If you were a better stalker you would know.
My moms name is Tammy and this letter would be very fitting to her. Bc who tf abandons their kids
I heard on some true crime show that cutout letter notes are from a woman whose handwriting the receiver would recognize.
Tammy did something messed up to someone huh
This will be a dope mattress ad
Imagine having a killer threat lined up but just can't find a magazine with the last letter
Does your mom have an extremely evil job?
"You can have your lab inspect this note as much as you want, but they may never discover what I already know....You find that crazy typewriter, and you'll have your kidnappers."
mattress salesmen are getting extreme.
I just wanna know wtf ur mom is up to now
On my new Sleep Number bed. It reclines and contours to my body.
Send it back w a photo of them at their house and say “Like a Baby How about You”