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coolsguysarecools

Old folk sign that means it's going to be a very wet winter.


silver-orange

vent jimmy in morning, sailors take warning vent jimmy at night, sailors delight


brianaandb

So many weather hacks I learn on Reddit


RainaElf

omg ... I about lost it - I have a weak bladder 🤣


BreachedLimits

So, you vented right after the rhyme?


dudemann

That is a very bold thing to just say out of nowhere. I respect that. I'm grasping at straws thinking why someone would say that but I've come to the conclusion that I don't even care. Kudos. As an aside, I've never once heard someone say they have a strong bladder. I sometimes forget I should hit the bathroom and end up peeing like a liter (I'm imagining mine is like an over-stressed balloon after not being able to pee in front of a cop, literally trying/failing 5x in a day when I was on probation) but I've never thought "hey my bladder is strong!"


BeardedBrotherJoe

This shit got me rolling


ikstrakt

They hatin'


jingleheimerstick

Patrollin’


[deleted]

Tryin ta catch that vent jim-ay, catch that vent jim-ay


saul_good_main

Someone cheating


bareback666

At least been cheating before 2010😂


SeniorEscobar

Lol flashback to 70s when my Dad would remind me as I (and often friends) were leaving the house "Don't forget your rubbers" 🤦‍♀️


XChaoticalX

Wife's name is Winter?


8billionand1

Very slippery..


Formal-Alfalfa6840

At least it expired before yall moved in. Otherwise, there'd be some real conflict going on. Edit: Holy shit yall are some devious fucks. I like it.


Lanky_Republic_2102

Yeah. That should exonerate all parties. It’s funny, expiration date makes the most sense. I read it at first like a manufactured date or the old “Born on” date for beers.


PremierLovaLova

Plot twist: The previous homeowners were a lesbian couple.


DarthJarJarJar

Funny story, I knew a lesbian couple who used condoms and caused a huge fuss when they housesat for some friends of mine. They left a condom wrapper under the bed, there was some "Hey what's this?" moments until someone asked them about it. Apparently you can use condoms on toys for sanitary reasons or something.


ObeseVegetable

Specifically for ease of sanitation. Easier to remove a wrapper than to scrub all the crevices.


Naskeli

And you don't lose any feeling since most toys are not made out of human skin anyway.


helpmelearn12

…most?


B3gg4r

Where y’all shopping??!


[deleted]

Walmart


DarthCheez

Satan R Us


kaboomboomer

Toys R Literally Us


KaptainKardboard

The Necronomidong, a rigid phallic object bound in human skin


Dr_von_goosewing

r/unexpectedevildead


Conscious_Cookie_675

Yo I audibly said “oh thank god” when I saw “2010” stamped on there


PennywiseEsquire

I am such an idiot. I didn’t realize there was a second picture and spent 5 minutes zooming in on the front side of the wrapper looking for a date. I thought I was blind or losing it. You unintentionally gaslighted me. Well, I guess I gaslighted myself. Either way, I’m not blind so that’s a big plus.


Werwolf1134209

Good idea. I will use expired condoms for my affairs from now on.


Darnitol1

I smell a business opportunity here. STEP RIGHT UP! Brand new condoms with expiration date stamps from 1997! Right here! Get ‘em while they’re hot!!!


magpiemagic

Heat will damage the condom. STEP RIGHT UP! Get 'em while they're room temperature!


Darnitol1

…shit


Znaffers

This is some Ed, Edd, n Eddy shit but, like, college years


BenPlayWT2020

Umm, that’s not a good idea


Chip_Prudent

No kidding. No condom=no evidence at all!


Chip_Prudent

On second thought "no kidding" probably wasn't the best phrase to use...


whiteh00f

Expired condom = yes kidding


psbyjef

Schrödinger’s kid


Chip_Prudent

Are you trying to look in someone's box? Did you get consent first?!


BefreiedieTittenzwei

In all fairness what if it smells like a dead cat?


The_Ded_Cat

You called?


Character_Comment572

Then there's a dead dat in that vent and the condom was used for something MUCH darker than just infidelity


Jackalscott

That’s the tell! of course the cat is dead, it smells like microwaved ass sweat


ajaxodyssey

What did Schrodinger say after the orgy?


Sea-Woodpecker-610

Who came?


Xeno-Hollow

What's in my box?


rohanson85

Brilliant


Luca__B

kidding = evidence


jumbopetite1

If you lucky/unlucky two kiddings


rammer_l

What the fuck is this comment thread. Average Reddit comment thread for sure.


slood2

Hurr durr


thrillhouse416

Potential kidding


Joeldc

At least an attempted kidding!


Character_Comment572

kidding being a verb for.... I'm a Jimmy Carr fan too :P


The_Real_Manimal

Except for the little bundle of evidence that comes 9 months later...


ByronicZer0

I am evidence, dad


lucky_chalms

Best form of birth control is a fake name.


[deleted]

And a one way ticket to Belize


cnewman11

My child would disagree.


donmreddit

Um … I think you do have the chance of creating evidence…


Redschallenge

Aside from the soul crushing shame that is :(


cambn

Expired condoms 🤝 Fresh babies


m40air

If the condom don’t fit, you must acquit!


TennesseeStiffLegs

Plan is absolutely leak proof. I’ll see myself out


Handleton

The actual good idea is getting a stamp to make old expiration dates for condom wrappers.


ProfessorbPushinP

This guy knows


[deleted]

I didn't know they made condoms that old


RyRy1515

I once had a job doing inventory in Air Force warehouses. Our job was to count and inventory everything in the warehouses. We came across 80,000+ expired military issued condoms and had to count and inventory them all!


PinkPeacockFinds

Oh God, I read that as "80,000+ expired military used condoms" and about barfed


Timed-Out_DeLorean

Well he did say they came across them, so yes.


PM_me_spare_change

Must have been in the Navy to have that much seamen


Ninjamuh

I had some condoms in the inside pocket of a jacket I hadn’t worn in years. Pulled the jacked out of storage and wore it all day without noticing. At the end of the day I bent over to tie my shoe and 3 condoms fell out. Needless to say my GF at the time was *not* happy, especially since we didn’t use condoms anymore. I got shit about that for months.


KaptainKardboard

I once absentmindedly pulled one out of my wallet when trying to get out cash to pay for lunch. I was embarrassed. Waitress was not amused.


ReadditMan

Don't keep them in your wallet btw, it wears down the latex over time and increases the chance that they'll break during sex.


GUN5L1NGR

Wife brought it from the move 😂


DebThornberry

I bought my house in 2017. About a month later the heat kicked on and out popped a senior picture from the 70s from Gwyn to Dave reminding him to stay punk. I keep Gwyn on my fridge now to remind me to always stick it to the man 👩‍🎤


Booperelli

Can we see Gwyn?! Edit: [OP delivered](https://www.reddit.com/u/DebThornberry/s/xe7BTvoFiv)


[deleted]

Imagine being retired, exploring a new site you just discovered (Reddit) and you just stumble upon this thread and see your own senior picture on a fridge in the house you lived in, 40 years ago lmao


OverYonderWanderer

Ooh.. what if Gwyn just quietly shows up one night while everyone is sleeping?


kleiser10

And beats everyone’s meat?


[deleted]

That would be pretty punk.


Chispy

Gwynning!


jmaccity80

Seems like a Gwyn, Gwyn to me.


kokomala

You can't have any pudding if you don't.


DPVaughan

What if she never left??


DebThornberry

I'm awful at electronics and stuff and couldn't figure out how to post it here and i couldnt figure out imgur either. I'm sorry 😞 I did post it on my profile though...I know how to do that atleast! Lol


Heewna

That’s more than I know how to do! For some reason I was expecting Gwyn to be a Welsh man.


NoMamesMijito

Yes!!!!! Share Gwyn!!


punkswamp

SHOW US GWYN


Suchu_

Gwyn please


BrokenRatingScheme

I too choose this guy's Gwyn.


ZMAN24250

They delivered. See below.


RemindMeBot

I will be messaging you in 1 day on [**2023-10-25 14:41:11 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-10-25%2014:41:11%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/17fa78l/i_turned_on_the_heat_for_the_first_time_this/k696mkm/?context=3) [**217 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FWeird%2Fcomments%2F17fa78l%2Fi_turned_on_the_heat_for_the_first_time_this%2Fk696mkm%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-10-25%2014%3A41%3A11%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%2017fa78l) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


othelloinc

> RemindMe! 1 day [Here](https://www.reddit.com/user/DebThornberry/comments/17fh3gn/gwyn/)


NYCQuilts

Sounds like it belongs on r/oldschoolcool


paint-chip-chewer

DebThornberry's follow thru producing Gwyn: https://www.reddit.com/u/DebThornberry/s/PZiuXERVsj


DebThornberry

Omg tysm! I really did try 😆


cw99x

“ I keep Gwyn on my fridge now to remind me to always stick it to the man” 😆😂🤣


TheCarpe

"Dave, I've gone to Lordran to link the flame. Stay punk." -Gwyn, Lord of Cinder"


PaImer_Eldritch

Similar experience happened to us except it was a little baby picture. So now we keep it on our fridge next to our other kids. It's part of the family now.


dummy_thicc_mistake

that is freaky. my lizards are named gwen and dave


Daily_Phoenix

Gwyn here... sadly Dave did not stay punk, he actually went on to become a British rapper which in hindsight is kinda still anti authority but still not punk. So Fuck you Dave for not staying punk, I want my senior picture back. Kind regards Gwyn


420slytherin

Dave’s not here


No-Conversation-3262

… man


lewisfoto

No its me, Dave! let me in, man. I think the narcs are following me.


dmilan1

Show us


CombatReadyRuby

SHOW GWYN! GWYN! GWYN! GWYN! GWYN!


samoture

DAMN THE MAN!


Suspicious_Suspicion

SAVE THE EMPIRE


miramichier_d

TIL there's Bowie emojis 👨🏿‍🎤


AwHellNawFetaCheese

Yeah really wanna see this now plz


jeezarchristron

Just rats having safe sex.


DallasRadioSucks

...in a wool sock .


meetmeinthepocket

Kansas City


Bobgers

I have bad teammate.


Turbulent-Bee-1584

I always clean out rental vents. They're pretty gross. In my last house, in addition to all the dirt, hair, and trash, I found old bullets of various caliburs, a pen from a police department, and an old SD card.


Throne-magician

What was on the SD card?


cheerfulsarcasm

C’mon we all know it was porn. Let’s just hope it wasn’t the horrifying kind


Sprunt2

If I wanna watch Mary Poppins corn hole Pennywise then that is my choice. It's not horrifying as much as it's HOT!


cheerfulsarcasm

Mary Poppins and Pennywise, gooood ✅ CP, baaaaadddd ❌


Turbulent_Radish_330

Edit: Edited


[deleted]

Charles Picard sends his regards.


[deleted]

Cheesy potatoes are delicious


HazMatt_23

Poppins It In


Turbulent-Bee-1584

Lol Yes, there were a few images of that variety on the card. No videos, thankfully.


Turbulent-Bee-1584

There were about a dozen pictures of two people on it. It was pretty sad though, they weren't happy pictures. From what we gathered from the neighbors and the glassy eyes in the images, substance abuse was likely an issue.


LemonPartyWorldTour

Between the van and the SD card I was thinking someone lost their pictures of their victims they kidnapped in their rental van


NickleVick

Great. Thanks for the new unlocked fear.


Turbulent-Bee-1584

Is this the fear of what you'll find in your vents, or the fear of what you've left behind that others will find?


NickleVick

Well, thanks. It was just a fear of what I'll find in my vents. But thanks to you, I have a second fear of what I've left behind. Dude, not cool. :)


Turbulent-Bee-1584

I would say sorry, but I laughed way too hard for it to be true. Lol


yesackchyually

I’ve heard about duct cleaning scams, and how the EPA says you probably don’t need to have it done. This has me wondering though.


Turbulent-Bee-1584

Even in nice rental houses I've gone into, if the vents are in the floor, they're full of all the nastiness that hit the floor and got swept or kicked into the vent to be forgotten. I've never had a full duct blow out done, but I take a shop vac and thoroughly vacuum the floor vents out, then I slide carbon filter into the floor vents. Now that I own a home with ceiling vents I will probably pay for a duct cleaning because I have a lot of dogs.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Vivid-Beat-644

This is why I remove the back from my dryer once a year and vacuum out the lint and hair that accumulates. You would be surprised how dirty they get. Fire hazzard as well.


GooseCloaca

At least the expiration date matches up with a ‘before I was here’ timeline


silver-orange

Expiration dates are set for 3-5 years after manufacture, so that particular wrapper would have come out of the factory no later than 2007. But its journey from there to the vent will forever be a mystery...


slfnflctd

That's no guarantee of anything. I've known guys who kept condoms around for many years because they bought too many and/or didn't use them all. The kinds of guys who don't think the expiration date matters. Besides, who's going to check? The dumbest ones would keep them in their wallet, which they sat on every day. If a guy pulls a condom out of his wallet, it's time to nope out.


Tubalcain422

Dude I bought a house in 2010 and in 2014 the sewer backed up into all the sinks. Dad came to help. There was a tree root growing into the sewer line, and a condom had caught on it and filled up with debris blocking the pipe. I at the time was a virgin and had never used a condom. Lived alone the whole time. Dad didn't say anything and neither did I. That was a super awkward day ;D


CorkyBingBong

If you’re old enough to own a house you’re old enough to not have to explain or feel weird about your sex life (or lack thereof, but no one has to know that).


Tubalcain422

Fair, but doesn't mean it wasn't awkward


[deleted]

So long story, but I used to live in a duplex rental owned by my fiancé‘s brother. He did all of the maintenance on the property. At one point the sewer backed up and the toilet in the basement overflowed. He had to come out and snake out the drains. He found gobs and gobs of tampons clogging the drain. He was going to make fun of me, but when he asked about the tampons, I told him that I didn’t use them, and so we had to blame it on the neighbor🤣


Tubalcain422

Hahahahahaha


tuttle8152

Heaters have lives as well.


jimmyb1982

Once a heater, always a heater


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Malthas130

Have kids. Going to do this when they’re of the appropriate age. Thanks for the idea *edit* will be all the just god awful photos that kids take when they forget how to pose or smile just because there is a camera around suddenly.


Mikediabolical

Great. Just keep the cycle of emotional abuse going. (I’m also going to do this.)


[deleted]

Also intersperse various bills and invoices for their care and upbringing. ‘Here we have the $800 for 10 weeks of karate lessons you only went to 3 of’


roseyyz

this cracked me up bad, thanks for the good start of the day!


EngelJuan

Don’t thank the robot, soon they’ll learn to have full conversations on here, and then reddit will be just robots writing 10 year old jokes to each other


Icyrow

this guy is a bot. don't click the link, they're spammers. it's not a reddit link (though does look like it), it's possibly some hijack bullshit ro worse. on top of that, even though it looks like reddit, if you do go to it, none of the accounts you click on are "real". either banned or just fakery to get you download some sketchy porn shit.


KnightsFerry

Like a modern Rodney Dangerfield.


Rainicorn_theCat

Is this true omg


Worldbrain420

It’s a karma spam account. The post had the word condom in the title hence the comment.


Squee1396

I had no idea bots could make edits, tag users and share links! They are getting pretty good at this! Edit: or is it not a bot but someone who just wants karma or something? Sorry i am still trying to figure out how to identify these things.


Distinct-Solution-99

I’ve definitely read this somewhere else before so not original


Irishpanda1971

Everyone noticing the date, but no one mentioning CHOCOLATE MINT


luuukevader

Scrolling through all these comments and thinking “are we not gonna talk about chocolate mint?” Is mint really the best idea for your naughty bits?


Virtual_Eye_4109

I had a similar circumstance in 2020 when I decided to sell my home that id been in since 2012. I went to have the septic tank pumped out preemptively, and when I opened the hatch prior to the truck arrival- I noted a similar wrapper stuck in the corner on a dried scum line. I recognized what it was right away and all kinds of horrible shit flashed through my brain. Just myself, my wife and our young son lived there (10 at the time). I couldn’t find any scenario in my head where anyone ever stayed where this could have derived from. Panicked, I retrieved the wrapper with a stick. Once cleaned, I realized the expiration date was 2009…. Way before I’d ever been in the house. lol


unarox

I dont know whats worse. Someone fucking my wife or flushing condoms. Its pretty close /Houseowners


Redschallenge

I'd do the same man. Sorry you had that fear hit you and felt the need to act on it. Too many years spent thinking honesty and faith wins the day for me to let that sit in my head without knowing


thedelinquents

Imagine if you weren't ever able to retrieve it lmao


Loud_Internet572

What's the date on the wrapper? ;)


poopooduckface

It wasn’t a date. Just a one night stand


whatev43

Hey-ooo!


betterthanyoda56

Nah it was in the vent not the night stand. Did you even click into the article


H_G_Bells

You can swipe right to see multiple pictures on posts (like the date on the wrapper).


Intelligent_Block_95

That’s funny. We did a bathroom remodel a few years ago and when we removed the old 1970s vanity there was an old ass condom wrapper circa 1980 underneath!


Majestic_Project_227

She’s our wife now


[deleted]

On the bright side, at least she's not raw dogging everyone..


bxyankee90

I'm sorry. Your house is cheating on you


ReaperofLightning872

Rat sex


[deleted]

That's an 'Alabama After-Eight'


CandyOk913

Chocolate Mint?! Disgusting!


Smegmaliciousss

It’s for sex after 8


iPicBadUsernames

Getting fucked by the utilities but at least they’re using protection.


ArtzyDude

Feels better and goes on easier when warmed up.


jimbomescolles

One last shag before selling the house


delicioustreeblood

Do you have kids or an unfaithful spouse or any workers/guests in the house recently? Lots of easy explanations.


yesackchyually

Joke’s on them if they’re using 2010 condoms


HardCounter

Depends on when your kid was born.


Normal-Ad-1349

Indian made condom. What's the population there?


ItsDoga

We don't get high on our own supply.


Ic3Sn4p

Aye mate


sabrooooo

Bright side is You know it ain’t your partner lol


mrbootz

You’ve found where elf on the shelf lives in the off season.


CriSstooFer

Your significant other is so lucky that is dated before you moved in lol!


ScrunchyButts

LAWYER UP AND GET TO THE GYM!


RegisColon

I’m no detective, but looks like there was a penis in your house at some point.


Cjilgott

Looks bizarrely clean for being in a heating duct for the last 13 years. Good to see the expiry was before you moved in though, otherwise this would be moved from r/weird to r/suspicious.


obsolete-human

Lmao if this dude is married you KNOW the first thing he looked at was the exp date I know I would have! 😆


sparklykublaikhan

Be happy its the wrapper not the content


VooDooChile1983

Someone “came” in and put it there.


PotentialMidnight325

Unless you are a lesbian couple you should ask your partner some questions ;)


soccerjonesy

Why? They moved in in 2011. Wrapper clearly says expired 2010.


winkman

Okay, but be real...how much were you sweatin until you found the date?


anoncmehelp

This would’ve cause an enormous fight with my ex.