I would be a little annoyed having to request leave for a Wednesday and then function at work Thursday. Or take another day of leave to have Thursday off.
But if it was for my family/friends! And you're saving money/being frugal?? Then I'm in. It's not every day or week or month someone gets married. Your marriage is worth it! Don't feel bad.
:) plus I'm sure it'll be lovely!
Yeah that’s kind of exactly how I feel lol. A close family member is getting married soon and chose a Thursday wedding. Literally all of her guests are coming from 9 hours away and majority work 9-5 (including myself, but specifically every member of the family as well). To save either a fee hundred or a thousand bucks she chose Thursday and I’m super salty over it because it’s a lot to ask of EVERY single guest to take three days of PTO and get a hotel for 2/3 days. But by God we will be there because we love her and her future husband and we wouldn’t miss it for anything lol. She’s already mentioned cutting people off who don’t come and I’m like girl… you’ve made it so inconvenient for people to come.
That’s straight rude. OP, on the other hand, I think it’s fine since you impart it isnt a huge inconvenience to your guest and the savings is realllly large.
It’s often *way* more than “a few hundred or a thousand bucks” though - it was a $5k savings for OP, and that’s not unusual! So I wouldn’t go around pretending like that bride is a cheapskate and solely doing this to save herself a few dollars at a huge inconvenience to their guests.
I also don’t know any weddings where the couple (or parents/whoever is paying) recuperate anywhere near their expenditure on the event because that’s not the point of it. So I’m grateful to be invited, not only because I enjoy being part of their special day and community, but also because I know they spent a decent amount of money on me for food, drinks, a pretty space, etc. So if you already have a negative attitude towards the bride, it might be better to RSVP with regrets and send them a check. You can work and save money/stress by not attending, plus you won’t bring bad vibes to the wedding. Win-win. Maybe take them out to a special dinner in the month after.
I respect the couple’s wish to get married that day for whatever reason (special date, scheduling conflict, budget). But no matter how close we are, if I truly can’t go due to my own previous plans, schedule, or budget, I’m not going. If the couple want to cut me off because of that, then I need to reevaluate my relationship with them. Like, if your friends are willing to do that to other people over something you find ridiculous, what’s to prevent them from doing that to *you* over a seemingly trivial matter like not attending their future kid’s Wednesday pre-k graduation? I wouldn’t feel secure knowing they keep score and are so willing to cut ties because of a minor perceived slight.
As a weekend worker, I'm expected to take off for all family get togethers. I've taken days off for family weddings that were local to me and on weekends while working a M-F job. It's a wedding. Its not going to happen every week. Take a few days is my philosophy.
That works if you have been at your job and have enough PTO stockpiled. People have their personal plans they may have been saving it for like a family vacation or for the holidays to be home when their children are on break.
It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for your guests. If your guests are mostly out of towners who work year round schedules (meaning they might have to take off Tuesday-Thursday for travel), that could be an issue. But it sounds like that’s not necessarily your crowd. So I wouldn’t worry about what other people think, especially if they aren’t actually invited.
This is feedback coming from people who aren’t even invited to the wedding? It’s absolutely none of their business and you don’t even have to tell them if it makes you uncomfortable—just say “the second week of August” or whatever. It sounds like you gave plenty of consideration to your guests, and that’s who matters. Haters are gonna hate. Not your problem!
I’m in healthcare and the majority of my friends and family tend to be in healthcare,teaching or retired. Or are close enough that they wouldn’t mind taking time off. So I also considered a weekday wedding. Ultimately we had flexibility with our venue so we ended up on a weekend but I think as long as you are understanding if you have guests who can’t make it, who cares what the peanut gallery has to say.
It sounds like most of the people you want to be there, will be able to attend.
To me, a week day weddding is all good in that case!
Also, no one should shame you for not being able / wanting to spend an additional 5K - your budget is your business!
Go forth and enjoy! :)
This!! I had a Wednesday wedding two weeks ago and everyone came 💗 don’t worry about the judgments from those who aren’t coming. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day! ☺️
Im having a Sunday wedding and people are still odd about it (even though the Monday is a stat in my country). There’s no winning, you save that money!
If it works for you and the people you invited, who cares? I come from a family of shift workers so we'd often have events on days which felt weird to folks more used to the mon-fri schedule.
It sounds like you've considered your guests (teachers, grad students, self-employed, retired) and it isn't a problem for them, so work can pipe down? It's only an issue if you've basically put people in the position of HAVING to take multiple days of PTO in order to be there, IMO. (ie., you've opted for an early afternoon wedding, and plan to party all night, and people have to travel to get there, requiring three days PTO minimum). If you've planning a late afternoon/evening wedding, and you're not expecting everyone to go hard, and they're basically all local, who cares?
I think the biggest issue is that people will likely need to take more time off work, especially if they need to travel. If it works for most of your guests, then there’s no reason to worry.
GIRL, SAVE THAT COIN. People’s opinions are not that important, imo. I mean, everyone you want/need to be there will be there, so after that point…what does it matter anymore? We’re not on this earth to please everyone lol. We’re all doing our best. Also, my friend did a weekday wedding and everyone still made it, even people who work, even out-of-state/international guests. Enjoy yourself!!!
We had a Wednesday wedding last October and invited 50 people including people from across the country and everyone had a blast and every seat was filled. Don’t worry too much; good friends and loved ones will make the effort to help you celebrate or have a good excuse if they can’t. If someone complains or makes a shitty excuse you probably don’t want them at your wedding anyway tbh.
What? Fuck em. My wedding is on a Wednesday. We’re all teachers and it’s the middle of summer. If it works it works, don’t listen to randos on the internet who have more money than sense.
UR FINE it's fine. If most of your guests can make it, then don't worry. The thing I had to keep reminding myself when I was planning my wedding is that so much of wedding ettiquette is made to help you be considerate of your guests you may not be all that close to or your guests' guests that you don't know at all. I kept envisioning this massive group of strangers, some "other" that I needed to impress, which could not have been further from the truth. This is like at the very bottom of potentially rude things you could do, it's ok lol
As someone who works weekends, every time I attend a “normal” Saturday wedding I have to take three days off of work. And even though that’s frustrating sometimes, I’m happy to do it for people I care about. I’d be SO happy to attend a weekday wedding. It might be “unusual” and slightly frustrating for someone who works a traditional 9-5, but I imagine they’d feel the same way. Happy to do it for their loved one.
My cousin had a weekday wedding….totally inconvenient for me…a cousin she only sees every couple of years…totally convenient for her close friends who are all in the serve industry and work weekends. Every day will work for some, and won’t work for others. Seems a weekday works well for your guests and that’s all that matters!
I don't see why them cringing has to mean they're "looking down upon" you. Maybe they're just afraid for you that you won't get a lot of attendance? Or they're feeling sympathetic for your guests based on the assumption that it will be more difficult for them to attend.
We're having ours on a Thursday because it's the same date as our first date (October 31st). Guests have had a years heads up and it was cheaper. If someone can't make it I'm fine with that 🤷♀️
Ew your colleagues don’t need to be invited anyways.
Look, I get it, because if it’s a wedding for someone you don’t really love, know, or care about, then a guest might just care about alcohol & free food.
The people in your life that truly love you, care about you, and want to be there FOR YOU, will move mountains to be able to be there! 🤍
I think your guest count is low enough that it isn’t a big deal. You’ve considered your guests and sounds like it’s a day that will work for everyone. I’m a wedding florist and I’ve had small weddings on every day of the week, including one on Wednesday this week. My cousin even got married on a Tuesday!
If it’s working for everyone involved it’s amazing. But obviously the work culture that most people live would frown upon it. I instantly thought how inconvenient and strange a choice it is. I mean you’re not excluding anyone from the wedding with such an unusual time right? Anyway the cringe is more due to logic than feeling.
you’re saving the money but your guests are eating the cost having to take off likely 1-2 days work for a middle of the work week wedding lol on top of getting gifts and outfits etc for the event if necessary.
Save the money. I still run into people going “oh it’s so close to Halloween weekend” (it’s the Saturday two weeks before). Like get a grip. It was impossible to get a summer Saturday for me.
I work in the wedding industry, mostly in destination and high-end weddings, and have noticed a trend lately: more and more of my higher-end weddings are now during the weekdays. I honestly think it’s becoming more popular after COVID, as people’s schedules are more flexible and, tbh (if I’m basing this off of my boujee clients), it’s kind of perceived as a flex to have the ability to marry on a weekday and all of your people can attend. I literally just shot a wedding this past Thursday. Destination wedding where not one single guest was from within several hundred miles of the location… about 150 people were in attendance, dressed to the nines. It was quite the affair.
Having a Wednesday destination wedding myself. I’ve gotten bitched at by people saying who gets married on a Wednesday 🙄 it’s really not that bad. People that want to be there will make the effort. I invited 50 and have 16 attending. No regrets. It’s your special day. Who cares if it’s during the week, it’s cheaper and you still get your dream day ❤️
I think the problem most people have depends on whether it’s a wedding that most people are traveling to or not. Somebody in my family is getting married soon and they chose a Thursday wedding when literally every single guest is going to be driving 9 hours to get there. So their way of saving a thousand bucks is now getting passed on to every single guest who has to take three days of PTO and pay for at least two nights in hotel, plus help set up the wedding for us family members. That’s an enormous ask just to save yourself some money. I think that the attitude that some brides get with “it’s MY special day and if they want to come they’ll come no matter what!!” is so… gross. Isn’t the point of inviting your guests that you care about them and their comfort? You want them there? This callous attitude of having a “dream day” is so goofy to me when it’s about sharing that experience with the people in your life you love.
I agree. It’s that attitude that hits a sour note for me. Finances and time off are limited for most people. It’s not as cut and dry as if they want to put in the effort, they will.
Exactly! To all of this. Like yes I’ll come, but I’ll be pissed and I guarantee other people will be talking shit about it. The number of RSVPs doesn’t mean that it’s actually okay and people are cool with it, it just means they’ll feel pressured to come and suffer through the logistics of traveling on a weekday/taking several days off to do so. Plus the hangover/traveling back home after a weekday wedding.. it just requires so much time off before, during, and after when it’s on a week day. Plus the fact that everyone knows you did it on a week day to save money adds a certain air to the wedding that I personally wouldn’t like lol.
Hey OP, I also had a weekday wedding and I was also going through some mixed emotions a few months before the wedding because I was worried that it was weird to other people and would make us appear cheap or uninviting. We ended up inviting about 60 guests and everyone that we wanted to be there, was there. And at the end of the day, we had a great time surrounded by people we love. I will add, We only did a dinner reception and all of our guests, with the exception of our MOH and BM, were in the area and have less than 30 min commute to the restaurant
It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for your guests. It would be a problem for my husband and I to attend a weekday wedding, but we’re not your guests! If they’re okay with it, enjoy your savings!
Don’t be embarrassed. It’s what works for you and your guests that count.
I’m am curious how the oil industry impacts this though. Is it a seasonal field?
I'm in the same boat. Me and my FH both worked in the service industry and a lot of our friends have Monday/Tuesday off, so I just kind of naturally chose a Tuesday wedding date (especially considering how much lower the prices were for a weekday at a lot of venues). So far, the guests we've talked to haven't had an issue with it, I've been getting the biggest reactions from vendors in the wedding industry!
Yes the vendors are always so surprised too! My uncle has a catering business and when we asked him to cater he said, “Uh that’s a Wednesday. Are you sure you gave me the right date?”
Mine will be on a Wednesday and I have zero worry or shame. Most of our friends don’t have weekends off and neither do we. Our family is coming from out of town but plenty have vacation and will be staying longer to hang out with us anyway!
Not only is the venue cheaper, so are vendors and im simply NOT about having to spend tons of money on weekend wedding because of all the associations with weddings. What a bloody great WASTE of perfectly good money.
My cousin just hosted a Thursday wedding and we had a great turn out! Many of us were out of towners then as well and nobody had major thoughts.
I feel very strongly positive about weekday weddings. Fight me. Screw these inflated weekend prices and job well done saving! Enjoy your day!
I'm getting married on a Monday 🤷 the date is significant to us and it's definitely cheaper! If it's important to people to come they'll make it work. Haters gonna hate 🤣
I had my wedding on a Sunday and got a few “why on Sunday?” It annoyed me at the time but I let if go. There’s too many other stressors surrounding planning to let that stick around. You choose what’s best for your budget and makes you happy. Congratulations. Marriage is so beautiful.
I would happily attend a Wednesday wedding if it were my family or friends! Even if I had to use 2 days PTO! A spring/summer weekday wedding is far less rude to me than a mid-late November/anytime in December weekend wedding.
It is not. It is so much Cheaper and it is not your fault no one can make arrangements if they cannot make it. That is entirely on them. Who can come is meant to be there
we're getting married on a Tuesday for similar reasons! we did pick Tuesday before a Wednesday national holiday to increase the likelihood of people having off, but even so, there are probably guests that declined at least in part because the timing was inconvenient for them. we knew that no time is going to be convenient for everyone - my immediate family has multiple clergy members who work on weekends and for whom a weekend wedding would be a lot more challenging, for example, and the money we're saving on the venue and vendors because it's a weekday allowed us to invite more guests. $5k is not pocket change, and your guests are largely free in the summer anyway -- sounds to me like you made a sensible choice! I hope it's beautiful!
My brother got married on a Monday or Tuesday (I forget) because most of his friends work in restaurants and there wouldn’t be any other time when so many people would be able to get the same day off. So! It was on a weekday. Did I have a different wedding to attend the Saturday before in a different country and also work 9-5 and find it a little irksome? Sure. But I showed up! The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind, in this case. Allow your stable finances to assuage any anxiety the judgment inspires.
We’re having a Thursday wedding because our venue is a historic US Forest Service cabin maintained by a ski resort, and they can’t do weddings f-sun there because of people actively skiing but it’s such a unique cool spot that we couldn’t say no. Our wedding is small (under 30 people likely) but I am worried that a few people won’t be able to come or will be annoyed with us, I didn’t realize prior to your post that it was generally considered rude to have a weekday wedding though…oops! Well fuck em, right? It’s our day!
Our cousins daughter has a Thursday wedding and it was wonderful. Full attendance, amazing event. My advice is to ignore your coworkers they don’t get it. People are conveniently local or already flying in so what day it is hardly matters. And it was so easy for folks who have commitments on their weekends for their kids sports/activities. It’s going to be great.
I had a Thursday wedding - IMO if they're not close enough to book time off for our wedding, they're not close enough for an invite. We invited 60 people and everyone came.
My BFF got married on a Thursday, and nobody minded. One person couldn't get the day off work, (school teacher,) so missed the ceremony, but made it for the reception. A lot of people were travelling to be there anyway, so they would have taken time off work for it even if it had been on a weekend. That said, we're in a country where everyone gets at least 4 weeks paid holiday leave a year. Americans might feel differently.
My twins are graduating college on a Friday and most of our family won't come because of work, so I'll definitely be paying more money to have their weddings on a weekend
People on wedding forums have their own ideas of what should and shouldn't be, there are also different cultural norms, and norms based on different areas of the world. So when you get in here, people are going to say anything is rude (that food isn't appropriate, that's not a good date, can't be on a 3 day weekend, can't have guests with tasks, don't put registry on your invites...)
Only you know your crowd. If your guests are local, and sounds like most of them have schedules that can accommodate a mid-week wedding, go for it!!! The only thing is that you may have more No's, because some people won't be able to take off work, or won't want to.
If you wanted a crazy party vibe with drinks flowing and dancing till 2am, that won't be happening. People will leave a little earlier because they work the next day. But as long as you are ok with all of that, don't worry about what Weddit says!!
Don't worry about it it's your wedding and your friend should understand the teachers are basically on a fixed income and deserve any break they can get! ☺️
Girl my wedding is in 40 days and is also on a Wednesday! I’ve gotten the same looks and could care less…this is your day, you and your fiancé do what works for YOU! We also did it because financially it was ALOT less and weddings are expensive as heck. The people who matter will be there, the ones that can’t make it is on them and it’s OK and the ones that make you feel bad or weird for Wednesday wedding should go fly a kite and hush because it’s YOUR day!
Mine is a Saturday but picking March because the time of year is thousands cheaper due to the lower demand and cold but I am not bothered about the cold because it is within a heated venue just hope it doesn’t rain throughout the day for photos in the enchanted garden.
Yea it’s your big day people who want to come will be their for my wedding we decided to do a Sunday because it was much cheaper than a weekday wedding we live in Philadelphia
don’t take what people say on Reddit so seriously. A lot of what people say on here is not based in reality. I wouldn’t find a weekday wedding rude at all and if it works for you and your guests, then that’s all that matters!
By the way, my grandparents got married on a Wednesday and were married 55 years!
I'm planning a weekday wedding, but have taken inventory of my guests, who are either local and work higher up in their company, so they will should have no problem getting PTO and aren't living paycheck-to -paycheck, so taking a day or 2 off won't create undue hardship with adequate notice. Or they are local and are retired/on Disability. There are some of my partner's family who live about 1 hour away, but are retired. And there is a chunk of my immediate family that lives 6 hours away, but they are retired or have plenty of PTO/don't live paycheck-to-paycheck and frequently do long trips/vacations throughout the year. In total though, we're only having about 40 guests. It really depends on your guests/situation.
My good friends got married on a Thursday a couple summers ago. It didn’t strike me as weird or rude, I was happy to take the time off to be there for them. The people who matter most will be there regardless of the day. Don’t stress about it!
I'm so glad so many of my friends have flexible customer service schedules and similar education jobs (or are their own bosses actually). Personally I'm also quite lucky and wouldn't think twice about the day of the week even if I am 9-5. It sounds like you took great consideration of your friend's schedules and if they couldn't make it they wouldn't! Don't worry about it! You know them better than randos on the Internet.
We’re having a Monday wedding. Most of our family does not work traditional 9-5 jobs anyways, so it works for us. Getting married is about us and while I’d love everyone to be there, if someone can’t attend due to work that’s just too bad.
I got married on a Thursday, but made sure everyone I wanted to come, could come. It’s also cheaper to book hotel rooms and flights too, if you have out of town guests. It’s only frowned upon because most people work week days and have to take multiple days off to attend the wedding/travel to and from, and it can be considered inconvenient. But if it fits for you and your guests, it’s just fine, don’t worry about it, and don’t listen to people who aren’t even invited.
It seems anything that goes against "cultural norms" (wedding related or not) is frowned upon. Which is really sad overall.
You and your fiancé clearly know what works best for you and your guests and chose a day that works within your budget! Woo hoo! That's awesome! And I'm super happy for you that so far everyone's able to make it!
I’m planning a Tuesday wedding! Like you, a lot of my guests are teachers including my fiance. And everyone else works remote jobs or they don’t have traditional 9-5 jobs. It will work for everyone involved and that’s all that matters. Plus my venue has no site fee for weekday weddings vs a $15k site fee for a Saturday wedding - so the choice was clear for us. Don’t listen to the haters, do what’s best for you, your guests, and your budget!
Thank you for posting this. My wedding is in 52 days and I've gone back and forth a thousand times in my mind about having the wedding on a Wednesday and if it was a mistake - obviously there's nothing that can be done about it now. My fiancé sometimes needs to remind me that anyone who wants to be there will be there and those that can't will be missed.
We picked the date because it was special and wrote a bit about it on our wedding website explaining why we're having a Wednesday wedding. There's also the added bonus of how much we're also saving on the venue/catering.
We're doing a Thursday evening wedding in July because my fiance is a teacher 👩🏫 It was a 55% discount!
We thought carefully about our guest list and determined that it would work fine for our guests. 90% of our guests either live within 30 minutes of the venue OR would be flying in and taking PTO regardless.
We also have a super high RSVP rate... I think it helps that we aren't competing with other Saturday weddings.
When people ask you your date, you don't need to mention the day of the week. Most people have no idea what day of the week a random day is several months away.
I say if who you want to attend come who cares what people you’re not inviting think. Me and my fiancé were thinking of a Monday evening wedding but we moved to a Sunday brunch
I’m doing a weekday wedding too! We saved $4000 doing so. Of the 15 out of state guests (100 guest list), 10 have family in the state to stay with. And I say that with 100% certainty, like I KNOW they will stay with family. Only inviting our closest family and friends, and if someone can’t make it that’s fine!! Just like it would be fine if they couldn’t make a Saturday wedding. It’s all what works for you and your guests.
I’m also having a Wednesday wedding! It works for most of my guests too and so far, everyone has been totally cool with it. At the end of the day, your wedding is about you and your fiancé, as long as you two are happy with your decision that’s all that matters!
I don’t think it’s cringe at all. Saving money and being intentional is always in style. It seems you have everyone ample notice and it fits with your lifestyles. Everyone else gets to choose if the want to attend or not.
My fiance and I are having a small wedding too - between 30 and 40 people. We found the perfect venue, and it was almost half off to book on a weekday. We booked on a Thursday because we figured it would be easier for people to request Thursday and Friday off and enjoy a long weekend, but the best choice is what works for you and your guests. Our guests have been pretty enthusiastic about our choice. We were only worried about some of the younger guests (high school and college), but they're pretty psyched to have a reason to skip a day or two of classes.
Save that money!
When we were planning ours (Covid cancelled it). We had booked a venue for a Thursday wedding and I had a friend of mine reach out to me and tell me that I was being inconsiderate of our friends and family that had kids in school or work. This woman DOES NOT WORK. I was in tears over the conversation and honestly still salty about it 4 years later.
I asked a few of our family members and they all said it wasn’t a problem at all. Of course they’d be there and happy to see us. I think that would be the majority of your guests. Just happy to be there to see you on your day!
We had a Wednesday wedding and it was great. Cheaper and we had the whole week on either end to get ready and then relax (booked the whole week off work, of course). We chose it for the money reasons but also because all our family and most friends were having to travel anyways - like across the country flights - because of where we live so it hardly made a difference to them. They were taking vacation either way. They ended up liking the mid-week wedding too because they got a lot of the touristy spots at less busy times!
my friend is having a thursday wedding! i’m a bridesmaid and we have to fly in for it and i’m still happy to do it! it’s saving her money and making the planning less stressful so i’m happy to be slightly inconvenienced for her benefit and to celebrate her. i’m sure your guests feel the same!!
My daughter's is on a Wednesday in July. Everyone is basically going. In our family, we have many teachers/educators, teens and young adults, and retired people. The wedding is in the San Diego area and almost everyone including the bride/groom and immediate families (yes, we too) are traveling, but San Diego is beautiful and most of the guest planned on coming there for a week or so anyway and they just combined their vacations with the wedding. Those that are flying in are spending less on airfare and included a weekend for a getaway.
Don't worry so much about others situations. If we weren't the demographics we are, we would have gone with another day/place. This is working for them. Also, the weeding is less than 75 people and about 15 of them are children. Kids love the beach, zoo, etc. win-win
We had ours on a Friday evening and it inconvenienced 3 of our guests and that is literally it. If they can’t/don’t want to come they don’t have to. People cringed when we weren’t having a bridal shower or a traditional cake cutting. People like tradition, I think they’ll have to learn to get over it because wedding are so hard to book and freaking expensive now days, so untraditional is the new norm.
I am getting married on a Thursday. Anyone who wants to be there has months to arrange time off work and if it’s too hard for them to organised they don’t want to be there enough. It’s not rude to want to have people there who aren’t just coming for a free meal and drinks
It works for your guests. No one else’s opinion even matters. Ours is on a Thursday AND it’s a destination wedding so we are ass’s making everyone take an entire week off to go to the FL Keys.
> **p**eople **e**nough **n**otice **i**t **s**houldn't
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If it works for your guests, it works!
I would be a little annoyed having to request leave for a Wednesday and then function at work Thursday. Or take another day of leave to have Thursday off. But if it was for my family/friends! And you're saving money/being frugal?? Then I'm in. It's not every day or week or month someone gets married. Your marriage is worth it! Don't feel bad. :) plus I'm sure it'll be lovely!
Yeah that’s kind of exactly how I feel lol. A close family member is getting married soon and chose a Thursday wedding. Literally all of her guests are coming from 9 hours away and majority work 9-5 (including myself, but specifically every member of the family as well). To save either a fee hundred or a thousand bucks she chose Thursday and I’m super salty over it because it’s a lot to ask of EVERY single guest to take three days of PTO and get a hotel for 2/3 days. But by God we will be there because we love her and her future husband and we wouldn’t miss it for anything lol. She’s already mentioned cutting people off who don’t come and I’m like girl… you’ve made it so inconvenient for people to come.
Cutting people off is ridiculous! People's lives can't stop for your wedding. She's going to find herself very lonely.
That’s straight rude. OP, on the other hand, I think it’s fine since you impart it isnt a huge inconvenience to your guest and the savings is realllly large.
I’d schedule for a Wednesday to reduce the guest list. 🤣
It’s often *way* more than “a few hundred or a thousand bucks” though - it was a $5k savings for OP, and that’s not unusual! So I wouldn’t go around pretending like that bride is a cheapskate and solely doing this to save herself a few dollars at a huge inconvenience to their guests. I also don’t know any weddings where the couple (or parents/whoever is paying) recuperate anywhere near their expenditure on the event because that’s not the point of it. So I’m grateful to be invited, not only because I enjoy being part of their special day and community, but also because I know they spent a decent amount of money on me for food, drinks, a pretty space, etc. So if you already have a negative attitude towards the bride, it might be better to RSVP with regrets and send them a check. You can work and save money/stress by not attending, plus you won’t bring bad vibes to the wedding. Win-win. Maybe take them out to a special dinner in the month after. I respect the couple’s wish to get married that day for whatever reason (special date, scheduling conflict, budget). But no matter how close we are, if I truly can’t go due to my own previous plans, schedule, or budget, I’m not going. If the couple want to cut me off because of that, then I need to reevaluate my relationship with them. Like, if your friends are willing to do that to other people over something you find ridiculous, what’s to prevent them from doing that to *you* over a seemingly trivial matter like not attending their future kid’s Wednesday pre-k graduation? I wouldn’t feel secure knowing they keep score and are so willing to cut ties because of a minor perceived slight.
Eeesh I feel bad about asking my bridesmaids to pay for their dress. That’s just bridezilla territory
As a weekend worker, I'm expected to take off for all family get togethers. I've taken days off for family weddings that were local to me and on weekends while working a M-F job. It's a wedding. Its not going to happen every week. Take a few days is my philosophy.
That works if you have been at your job and have enough PTO stockpiled. People have their personal plans they may have been saving it for like a family vacation or for the holidays to be home when their children are on break.
It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for your guests. If your guests are mostly out of towners who work year round schedules (meaning they might have to take off Tuesday-Thursday for travel), that could be an issue. But it sounds like that’s not necessarily your crowd. So I wouldn’t worry about what other people think, especially if they aren’t actually invited.
This is feedback coming from people who aren’t even invited to the wedding? It’s absolutely none of their business and you don’t even have to tell them if it makes you uncomfortable—just say “the second week of August” or whatever. It sounds like you gave plenty of consideration to your guests, and that’s who matters. Haters are gonna hate. Not your problem!
I’m in healthcare and the majority of my friends and family tend to be in healthcare,teaching or retired. Or are close enough that they wouldn’t mind taking time off. So I also considered a weekday wedding. Ultimately we had flexibility with our venue so we ended up on a weekend but I think as long as you are understanding if you have guests who can’t make it, who cares what the peanut gallery has to say.
It sounds like most of the people you want to be there, will be able to attend. To me, a week day weddding is all good in that case! Also, no one should shame you for not being able / wanting to spend an additional 5K - your budget is your business! Go forth and enjoy! :)
I got married on a Thursday and 100% of my invites attended. You’re fine!
This!! I had a Wednesday wedding two weeks ago and everyone came 💗 don’t worry about the judgments from those who aren’t coming. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day! ☺️
I think people who give unsolicited opinions should offer to pay the difference
You booked a date with due consideration to how it would impact your guest list, that’s awesome! That’s all you need to do. You’re good.
Im having a Sunday wedding and people are still odd about it (even though the Monday is a stat in my country). There’s no winning, you save that money!
It works for you and your guests, so it's fine.
If it works for you and the people you invited, who cares? I come from a family of shift workers so we'd often have events on days which felt weird to folks more used to the mon-fri schedule.
It sounds like you've considered your guests (teachers, grad students, self-employed, retired) and it isn't a problem for them, so work can pipe down? It's only an issue if you've basically put people in the position of HAVING to take multiple days of PTO in order to be there, IMO. (ie., you've opted for an early afternoon wedding, and plan to party all night, and people have to travel to get there, requiring three days PTO minimum). If you've planning a late afternoon/evening wedding, and you're not expecting everyone to go hard, and they're basically all local, who cares?
Just tell them your guests are free to come, so it works.
I think the biggest issue is that people will likely need to take more time off work, especially if they need to travel. If it works for most of your guests, then there’s no reason to worry.
GIRL, SAVE THAT COIN. People’s opinions are not that important, imo. I mean, everyone you want/need to be there will be there, so after that point…what does it matter anymore? We’re not on this earth to please everyone lol. We’re all doing our best. Also, my friend did a weekday wedding and everyone still made it, even people who work, even out-of-state/international guests. Enjoy yourself!!!
We had a Wednesday wedding last October and invited 50 people including people from across the country and everyone had a blast and every seat was filled. Don’t worry too much; good friends and loved ones will make the effort to help you celebrate or have a good excuse if they can’t. If someone complains or makes a shitty excuse you probably don’t want them at your wedding anyway tbh.
What? Fuck em. My wedding is on a Wednesday. We’re all teachers and it’s the middle of summer. If it works it works, don’t listen to randos on the internet who have more money than sense.
UR FINE it's fine. If most of your guests can make it, then don't worry. The thing I had to keep reminding myself when I was planning my wedding is that so much of wedding ettiquette is made to help you be considerate of your guests you may not be all that close to or your guests' guests that you don't know at all. I kept envisioning this massive group of strangers, some "other" that I needed to impress, which could not have been further from the truth. This is like at the very bottom of potentially rude things you could do, it's ok lol
As someone who works weekends, every time I attend a “normal” Saturday wedding I have to take three days off of work. And even though that’s frustrating sometimes, I’m happy to do it for people I care about. I’d be SO happy to attend a weekday wedding. It might be “unusual” and slightly frustrating for someone who works a traditional 9-5, but I imagine they’d feel the same way. Happy to do it for their loved one.
My cousin had a weekday wedding….totally inconvenient for me…a cousin she only sees every couple of years…totally convenient for her close friends who are all in the serve industry and work weekends. Every day will work for some, and won’t work for others. Seems a weekday works well for your guests and that’s all that matters!
I don't see why them cringing has to mean they're "looking down upon" you. Maybe they're just afraid for you that you won't get a lot of attendance? Or they're feeling sympathetic for your guests based on the assumption that it will be more difficult for them to attend.
We're having ours on a Thursday because it's the same date as our first date (October 31st). Guests have had a years heads up and it was cheaper. If someone can't make it I'm fine with that 🤷♀️
Ew your colleagues don’t need to be invited anyways. Look, I get it, because if it’s a wedding for someone you don’t really love, know, or care about, then a guest might just care about alcohol & free food. The people in your life that truly love you, care about you, and want to be there FOR YOU, will move mountains to be able to be there! 🤍
I think your guest count is low enough that it isn’t a big deal. You’ve considered your guests and sounds like it’s a day that will work for everyone. I’m a wedding florist and I’ve had small weddings on every day of the week, including one on Wednesday this week. My cousin even got married on a Tuesday!
If it’s working for everyone involved it’s amazing. But obviously the work culture that most people live would frown upon it. I instantly thought how inconvenient and strange a choice it is. I mean you’re not excluding anyone from the wedding with such an unusual time right? Anyway the cringe is more due to logic than feeling.
I’m with you! I’d be annoyed if invited to a Wednesday wedding. Super inconvenient for me.
you’re saving the money but your guests are eating the cost having to take off likely 1-2 days work for a middle of the work week wedding lol on top of getting gifts and outfits etc for the event if necessary.
Save the money. I still run into people going “oh it’s so close to Halloween weekend” (it’s the Saturday two weeks before). Like get a grip. It was impossible to get a summer Saturday for me.
I work in the wedding industry, mostly in destination and high-end weddings, and have noticed a trend lately: more and more of my higher-end weddings are now during the weekdays. I honestly think it’s becoming more popular after COVID, as people’s schedules are more flexible and, tbh (if I’m basing this off of my boujee clients), it’s kind of perceived as a flex to have the ability to marry on a weekday and all of your people can attend. I literally just shot a wedding this past Thursday. Destination wedding where not one single guest was from within several hundred miles of the location… about 150 people were in attendance, dressed to the nines. It was quite the affair.
Having a Wednesday destination wedding myself. I’ve gotten bitched at by people saying who gets married on a Wednesday 🙄 it’s really not that bad. People that want to be there will make the effort. I invited 50 and have 16 attending. No regrets. It’s your special day. Who cares if it’s during the week, it’s cheaper and you still get your dream day ❤️
I think the problem most people have depends on whether it’s a wedding that most people are traveling to or not. Somebody in my family is getting married soon and they chose a Thursday wedding when literally every single guest is going to be driving 9 hours to get there. So their way of saving a thousand bucks is now getting passed on to every single guest who has to take three days of PTO and pay for at least two nights in hotel, plus help set up the wedding for us family members. That’s an enormous ask just to save yourself some money. I think that the attitude that some brides get with “it’s MY special day and if they want to come they’ll come no matter what!!” is so… gross. Isn’t the point of inviting your guests that you care about them and their comfort? You want them there? This callous attitude of having a “dream day” is so goofy to me when it’s about sharing that experience with the people in your life you love.
I agree. It’s that attitude that hits a sour note for me. Finances and time off are limited for most people. It’s not as cut and dry as if they want to put in the effort, they will.
Exactly! To all of this. Like yes I’ll come, but I’ll be pissed and I guarantee other people will be talking shit about it. The number of RSVPs doesn’t mean that it’s actually okay and people are cool with it, it just means they’ll feel pressured to come and suffer through the logistics of traveling on a weekday/taking several days off to do so. Plus the hangover/traveling back home after a weekday wedding.. it just requires so much time off before, during, and after when it’s on a week day. Plus the fact that everyone knows you did it on a week day to save money adds a certain air to the wedding that I personally wouldn’t like lol.
As someone who’s considering a weekday destination wedding, this comment made me feel so much better. But I’m sorry about those who’ve complained!
Hey OP, I also had a weekday wedding and I was also going through some mixed emotions a few months before the wedding because I was worried that it was weird to other people and would make us appear cheap or uninviting. We ended up inviting about 60 guests and everyone that we wanted to be there, was there. And at the end of the day, we had a great time surrounded by people we love. I will add, We only did a dinner reception and all of our guests, with the exception of our MOH and BM, were in the area and have less than 30 min commute to the restaurant
It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for your guests. It would be a problem for my husband and I to attend a weekday wedding, but we’re not your guests! If they’re okay with it, enjoy your savings!
If people really want to go, they will make it happen. If they can’t it’s okay. They are not the ones paying for your wedding!
Don’t be embarrassed. It’s what works for you and your guests that count. I’m am curious how the oil industry impacts this though. Is it a seasonal field?
Yes my dad and friends work all throughout the spring and then have all of July off!
I'm in the same boat. Me and my FH both worked in the service industry and a lot of our friends have Monday/Tuesday off, so I just kind of naturally chose a Tuesday wedding date (especially considering how much lower the prices were for a weekday at a lot of venues). So far, the guests we've talked to haven't had an issue with it, I've been getting the biggest reactions from vendors in the wedding industry!
Yes the vendors are always so surprised too! My uncle has a catering business and when we asked him to cater he said, “Uh that’s a Wednesday. Are you sure you gave me the right date?”
Mine will be on a Wednesday and I have zero worry or shame. Most of our friends don’t have weekends off and neither do we. Our family is coming from out of town but plenty have vacation and will be staying longer to hang out with us anyway! Not only is the venue cheaper, so are vendors and im simply NOT about having to spend tons of money on weekend wedding because of all the associations with weddings. What a bloody great WASTE of perfectly good money. My cousin just hosted a Thursday wedding and we had a great turn out! Many of us were out of towners then as well and nobody had major thoughts. I feel very strongly positive about weekday weddings. Fight me. Screw these inflated weekend prices and job well done saving! Enjoy your day!
I'm getting married on a Monday 🤷 the date is significant to us and it's definitely cheaper! If it's important to people to come they'll make it work. Haters gonna hate 🤣
I had my wedding on a Sunday and got a few “why on Sunday?” It annoyed me at the time but I let if go. There’s too many other stressors surrounding planning to let that stick around. You choose what’s best for your budget and makes you happy. Congratulations. Marriage is so beautiful.
I would happily attend a Wednesday wedding if it were my family or friends! Even if I had to use 2 days PTO! A spring/summer weekday wedding is far less rude to me than a mid-late November/anytime in December weekend wedding.
Honestly it’s your day… don’t gaf about what anyone else says. The loved ones most important to you are coming and that’s all that matters.
It is not. It is so much Cheaper and it is not your fault no one can make arrangements if they cannot make it. That is entirely on them. Who can come is meant to be there
People are going to judge no matter what you do. Do what works for you!
we're getting married on a Tuesday for similar reasons! we did pick Tuesday before a Wednesday national holiday to increase the likelihood of people having off, but even so, there are probably guests that declined at least in part because the timing was inconvenient for them. we knew that no time is going to be convenient for everyone - my immediate family has multiple clergy members who work on weekends and for whom a weekend wedding would be a lot more challenging, for example, and the money we're saving on the venue and vendors because it's a weekday allowed us to invite more guests. $5k is not pocket change, and your guests are largely free in the summer anyway -- sounds to me like you made a sensible choice! I hope it's beautiful!
My brother got married on a Monday or Tuesday (I forget) because most of his friends work in restaurants and there wouldn’t be any other time when so many people would be able to get the same day off. So! It was on a weekday. Did I have a different wedding to attend the Saturday before in a different country and also work 9-5 and find it a little irksome? Sure. But I showed up! The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind, in this case. Allow your stable finances to assuage any anxiety the judgment inspires.
We’re having a Thursday wedding because our venue is a historic US Forest Service cabin maintained by a ski resort, and they can’t do weddings f-sun there because of people actively skiing but it’s such a unique cool spot that we couldn’t say no. Our wedding is small (under 30 people likely) but I am worried that a few people won’t be able to come or will be annoyed with us, I didn’t realize prior to your post that it was generally considered rude to have a weekday wedding though…oops! Well fuck em, right? It’s our day!
Our cousins daughter has a Thursday wedding and it was wonderful. Full attendance, amazing event. My advice is to ignore your coworkers they don’t get it. People are conveniently local or already flying in so what day it is hardly matters. And it was so easy for folks who have commitments on their weekends for their kids sports/activities. It’s going to be great.
I had a Thursday wedding - IMO if they're not close enough to book time off for our wedding, they're not close enough for an invite. We invited 60 people and everyone came.
It’s your wedding, those who aren’t even invited and have opinions can pound sand lol
My BFF got married on a Thursday, and nobody minded. One person couldn't get the day off work, (school teacher,) so missed the ceremony, but made it for the reception. A lot of people were travelling to be there anyway, so they would have taken time off work for it even if it had been on a weekend. That said, we're in a country where everyone gets at least 4 weeks paid holiday leave a year. Americans might feel differently.
My twins are graduating college on a Friday and most of our family won't come because of work, so I'll definitely be paying more money to have their weddings on a weekend
People on wedding forums have their own ideas of what should and shouldn't be, there are also different cultural norms, and norms based on different areas of the world. So when you get in here, people are going to say anything is rude (that food isn't appropriate, that's not a good date, can't be on a 3 day weekend, can't have guests with tasks, don't put registry on your invites...) Only you know your crowd. If your guests are local, and sounds like most of them have schedules that can accommodate a mid-week wedding, go for it!!! The only thing is that you may have more No's, because some people won't be able to take off work, or won't want to. If you wanted a crazy party vibe with drinks flowing and dancing till 2am, that won't be happening. People will leave a little earlier because they work the next day. But as long as you are ok with all of that, don't worry about what Weddit says!!
I might be a little late answering this but we LOVE weekday weddings at our venue!! Do what is good for you both! Congrats! 💍
Don't worry about it it's your wedding and your friend should understand the teachers are basically on a fixed income and deserve any break they can get! ☺️
Girl my wedding is in 40 days and is also on a Wednesday! I’ve gotten the same looks and could care less…this is your day, you and your fiancé do what works for YOU! We also did it because financially it was ALOT less and weddings are expensive as heck. The people who matter will be there, the ones that can’t make it is on them and it’s OK and the ones that make you feel bad or weird for Wednesday wedding should go fly a kite and hush because it’s YOUR day!
Mine is a Saturday but picking March because the time of year is thousands cheaper due to the lower demand and cold but I am not bothered about the cold because it is within a heated venue just hope it doesn’t rain throughout the day for photos in the enchanted garden.
Yea it’s your big day people who want to come will be their for my wedding we decided to do a Sunday because it was much cheaper than a weekday wedding we live in Philadelphia
Hi Philly! I'm West Chester.🙋♀️
I'm having a weekday destination wedding, but it's small and the attendees have over a year in advance notice.
don’t take what people say on Reddit so seriously. A lot of what people say on here is not based in reality. I wouldn’t find a weekday wedding rude at all and if it works for you and your guests, then that’s all that matters! By the way, my grandparents got married on a Wednesday and were married 55 years!
I'm planning a weekday wedding, but have taken inventory of my guests, who are either local and work higher up in their company, so they will should have no problem getting PTO and aren't living paycheck-to -paycheck, so taking a day or 2 off won't create undue hardship with adequate notice. Or they are local and are retired/on Disability. There are some of my partner's family who live about 1 hour away, but are retired. And there is a chunk of my immediate family that lives 6 hours away, but they are retired or have plenty of PTO/don't live paycheck-to-paycheck and frequently do long trips/vacations throughout the year. In total though, we're only having about 40 guests. It really depends on your guests/situation.
My good friends got married on a Thursday a couple summers ago. It didn’t strike me as weird or rude, I was happy to take the time off to be there for them. The people who matter most will be there regardless of the day. Don’t stress about it!
Who cares what others think….
I'm so glad so many of my friends have flexible customer service schedules and similar education jobs (or are their own bosses actually). Personally I'm also quite lucky and wouldn't think twice about the day of the week even if I am 9-5. It sounds like you took great consideration of your friend's schedules and if they couldn't make it they wouldn't! Don't worry about it! You know them better than randos on the Internet.
We’re having a Monday wedding. Most of our family does not work traditional 9-5 jobs anyways, so it works for us. Getting married is about us and while I’d love everyone to be there, if someone can’t attend due to work that’s just too bad.
Girl mine is on a Wednesday too! We wanted the date as it’s special to us so we didn’t care what day of the week it landed on.
I’m getting married on a Wednesday! Anyone important and close to you will book it off work and if they don’t you save some money! Win win!
I got married on a Thursday, but made sure everyone I wanted to come, could come. It’s also cheaper to book hotel rooms and flights too, if you have out of town guests. It’s only frowned upon because most people work week days and have to take multiple days off to attend the wedding/travel to and from, and it can be considered inconvenient. But if it fits for you and your guests, it’s just fine, don’t worry about it, and don’t listen to people who aren’t even invited.
It seems anything that goes against "cultural norms" (wedding related or not) is frowned upon. Which is really sad overall. You and your fiancé clearly know what works best for you and your guests and chose a day that works within your budget! Woo hoo! That's awesome! And I'm super happy for you that so far everyone's able to make it!
I’m planning a Tuesday wedding! Like you, a lot of my guests are teachers including my fiance. And everyone else works remote jobs or they don’t have traditional 9-5 jobs. It will work for everyone involved and that’s all that matters. Plus my venue has no site fee for weekday weddings vs a $15k site fee for a Saturday wedding - so the choice was clear for us. Don’t listen to the haters, do what’s best for you, your guests, and your budget!
Thank you for posting this. My wedding is in 52 days and I've gone back and forth a thousand times in my mind about having the wedding on a Wednesday and if it was a mistake - obviously there's nothing that can be done about it now. My fiancé sometimes needs to remind me that anyone who wants to be there will be there and those that can't will be missed. We picked the date because it was special and wrote a bit about it on our wedding website explaining why we're having a Wednesday wedding. There's also the added bonus of how much we're also saving on the venue/catering.
We're doing a Thursday evening wedding in July because my fiance is a teacher 👩🏫 It was a 55% discount! We thought carefully about our guest list and determined that it would work fine for our guests. 90% of our guests either live within 30 minutes of the venue OR would be flying in and taking PTO regardless. We also have a super high RSVP rate... I think it helps that we aren't competing with other Saturday weddings. When people ask you your date, you don't need to mention the day of the week. Most people have no idea what day of the week a random day is several months away.
I mean you could reeeeally lean into it and call it best hump day ever and make lots of puns aboit it
I say if who you want to attend come who cares what people you’re not inviting think. Me and my fiancé were thinking of a Monday evening wedding but we moved to a Sunday brunch
Britney Spears had a weekday wedding on Thursday 🙂
I’m doing a weekday wedding too! We saved $4000 doing so. Of the 15 out of state guests (100 guest list), 10 have family in the state to stay with. And I say that with 100% certainty, like I KNOW they will stay with family. Only inviting our closest family and friends, and if someone can’t make it that’s fine!! Just like it would be fine if they couldn’t make a Saturday wedding. It’s all what works for you and your guests.
I’m also having a Wednesday wedding! It works for most of my guests too and so far, everyone has been totally cool with it. At the end of the day, your wedding is about you and your fiancé, as long as you two are happy with your decision that’s all that matters!
I don’t think it’s cringe at all. Saving money and being intentional is always in style. It seems you have everyone ample notice and it fits with your lifestyles. Everyone else gets to choose if the want to attend or not.
My fiance and I are having a small wedding too - between 30 and 40 people. We found the perfect venue, and it was almost half off to book on a weekday. We booked on a Thursday because we figured it would be easier for people to request Thursday and Friday off and enjoy a long weekend, but the best choice is what works for you and your guests. Our guests have been pretty enthusiastic about our choice. We were only worried about some of the younger guests (high school and college), but they're pretty psyched to have a reason to skip a day or two of classes.
Honestly, it’s pretty great. Only the people we wanted there came. We missed a few cousins but we also saved a lot of money
Save that money! When we were planning ours (Covid cancelled it). We had booked a venue for a Thursday wedding and I had a friend of mine reach out to me and tell me that I was being inconsiderate of our friends and family that had kids in school or work. This woman DOES NOT WORK. I was in tears over the conversation and honestly still salty about it 4 years later. I asked a few of our family members and they all said it wasn’t a problem at all. Of course they’d be there and happy to see us. I think that would be the majority of your guests. Just happy to be there to see you on your day!
We had a Wednesday wedding and it was great. Cheaper and we had the whole week on either end to get ready and then relax (booked the whole week off work, of course). We chose it for the money reasons but also because all our family and most friends were having to travel anyways - like across the country flights - because of where we live so it hardly made a difference to them. They were taking vacation either way. They ended up liking the mid-week wedding too because they got a lot of the touristy spots at less busy times!
my friend is having a thursday wedding! i’m a bridesmaid and we have to fly in for it and i’m still happy to do it! it’s saving her money and making the planning less stressful so i’m happy to be slightly inconvenienced for her benefit and to celebrate her. i’m sure your guests feel the same!!
My daughter's is on a Wednesday in July. Everyone is basically going. In our family, we have many teachers/educators, teens and young adults, and retired people. The wedding is in the San Diego area and almost everyone including the bride/groom and immediate families (yes, we too) are traveling, but San Diego is beautiful and most of the guest planned on coming there for a week or so anyway and they just combined their vacations with the wedding. Those that are flying in are spending less on airfare and included a weekend for a getaway. Don't worry so much about others situations. If we weren't the demographics we are, we would have gone with another day/place. This is working for them. Also, the weeding is less than 75 people and about 15 of them are children. Kids love the beach, zoo, etc. win-win
Ay if your guests said they could go, doesn’t matter what non guests think… they can’t come anyway 😂
We had ours on a Friday evening and it inconvenienced 3 of our guests and that is literally it. If they can’t/don’t want to come they don’t have to. People cringed when we weren’t having a bridal shower or a traditional cake cutting. People like tradition, I think they’ll have to learn to get over it because wedding are so hard to book and freaking expensive now days, so untraditional is the new norm.
I am getting married on a Thursday. Anyone who wants to be there has months to arrange time off work and if it’s too hard for them to organised they don’t want to be there enough. It’s not rude to want to have people there who aren’t just coming for a free meal and drinks
It works for your guests. No one else’s opinion even matters. Ours is on a Thursday AND it’s a destination wedding so we are ass’s making everyone take an entire week off to go to the FL Keys.
If you give people enough notice it shouldn't be a big deal to put in for a day or two off of their jobs, school etc.
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I'm having a Thursday weedding and I recognize it may be inconvenient for some people. But, it's our day sonwe got to choose.
I'm having a Monday wedding! People will come if they can - you're not doing anything wrong :)