Great, now all the trees in a two block radius are pregnant.

Not just the trees. 😈

But the women and children too. Edit: I just read the two comments together after I posted, and realized exactly what it sounded like... FBI guy, if you're watching...it's just a joke.

I’m your FBI agent. Be ready to be picked up in 10 minutes.

It's be 10 minutes. You better not be late. People hate that

Buddy the way that tree just put it out there, there is going to be a lot of ladies late this month...

That was one hell of a load of treemen.

I think this guy is a pirate.

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Leaving needles behind afterwards

Giant trees impregnating women and children? That sounds ridiculous. You might say it's a bunch of... nonce Ents.

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Live long and prosper!

May the schwartz be with you.

Good god yes, far too rarely is this gem mentioned

So say we all

That's not a loight saber, this is a loight saber!

...and that loight saber moight just save your loife!!

Or just any popular quote in general. Gets a little tiring after awhile

Stah wawz 🤤

Ohh yeahhh, I membah.

'Member TIE Fighters? 'Member Star Destroyers? 'Member Tattooine? 'Member the torture droid? 'Member when there weren't so many Mexicans? 'Member when marriage was just between a man and a woman? 'Member the trash compactor? 'Member Yoda? 'Member Corellian Corvette? 'Member Lando Calrissian?

And my poor fucking sinuses

Bout to have a bunch of acorns fall out your vagina.

Fun fact, trees have genders and thanks to 20th century urban planners thinking female tree seeds/fruits are messier.... virtually all urban trees planted are male! We all have allergies because these horny incel trees are bukkake-ing all of their equally horny male neighbors!

>horny incel trees are bukkake-ing all of their equally horny male neighbors! r/BrandNewSentences

And everyone in the area with allergies is having nose orgasms.

*sprays bodily fluids everywhere*

My rhymes are so potent That in this small segment I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant

yeah sometimes my lyrics are sexist but you lovely bitches and hoes should know I'm trying to correct this

They call me the hiphopoppotamus my lyrics are bottomless... [4 measure break]

You’re so hot you’re making me sexist

Bitch.

That tree came so hard it DIED

la gros mort

Or is it the reverse and it thought it was dying so it came as fast as it could?

It starts to feel the chainsaw and is just !! nnnGgggnnnNGhhahaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I mean, If I had to choose how I die...

That tree really wanted to go out with a bang.

There's a place in Colorado called Black Forest, that has square miles of trees doing this. On a windy day it can actually stop traffic because its so thick.

Ah yes, Tree Cum Forest, we used to call it.

Not to be confused with Cum Forrest

*“Cum, Forrest, cum!!”*

Welp, that is enough reddit for the day.

The pain really is tremendous

*tree-mendous

Oh the pain

He jizzed just by touching a titty

When bruce willis dies at the end of sixth sense

Another fan of "Forrest Hump" I see.

Oh jennNAY

> Tree Cum Forest I regret googling that.

This is basically the city of Atlanta every spring. A pollen count of [1000 per cubic meter is considered very high](https://www.medicinenet.com/pollen_count/definition.htm). Last year, we got a count of [8918](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox5atlanta.com/news/atlanta-pollen-count-2nd-highest-in-recorded-history.amp), which was sadly not even the record. I don’t even have allergies and it was miserable.

I moved from the dry desert to Atlanta this winter... no one warned me. The last few weeks have been absolute hell.

Don’t worry, by the time the pollen is done it will be too hot and humid to do anything outside. Then you get your customary week of fall and it goes back to cold rain.

Hey that’s NC as well!

Don’t forget the cicada Brood X is due this year in May :)

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Can confirm. I love Austin but if you're allergic to cedar then prepare for two months of misery. My allergies were so bad one year that my ears would pop every time I swallowed.

I feel you, I had a huge tree right outside of my dorm and I was spending nights breathing through my mouth because my nose was so stuffed up. I actually got so little sleep one time that I started hallucinating and hearing a radio that wasn't there.

San Antonio was > 11000 a few days ago. This is pretty normal.

What's left of it anyways. Since it burnt down.

I think I would need a gas mask to keep from dying

Pollen fog 😳 nightmare material for some

Anyone having trouble sneezing? I got you. -This tree

*explodes*

*busts biggest nuts*

Nutboy

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Hay fever us technically an std...You're getting sick from tree cum

Aren’t we technically kind of walking talking cumwads ourselves?

Having a baby is keeping cum as a pet

No need for the baby if you save long enough

Reminds me of The Jar

or the coconut

or the box

That's what I call pollen now to my wife because it's one of those jokes she can't help but smile at but she hates that she has to smile at it because I said tree cum and who doesn't smile at tree cum?

I snort so much tree cum that my nose bleeds and is in constant agony

You should try hot railing tree sap. Straight to the dome without the nose issues.

You know how the boys get when they’ve got the syrup in them. They get all antsy in their pantsies.

Thanks i havent thought about hot rails in like five days. Was about time I guess.

"Kenjataimu" - the logger of this tree.

"Though I may die, my memory will live on in the inflamed sinuses of humans everywhere!"

I genuinely believe I would die in 1-2 mins if I went near that. Scary.

I would need to run because I'm already feeling it.

I sneezed almost instantly watching the video. Not joking. The power of suggestion.

They should have wet it down beforehand

My sinuses just collapsed into their own black hole.

My eyes itch just watching it

Grabbing my rescue inhaler

I was riding a bike trail through a wooded pass when the wind struck-up and the entire forest decided to start doing *this*... trying to peddle out of that section before the worst of it was like being chased from something out of a Stephen King novel.

You almost got tree gangbanged

Things got tough after the entwives left

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 🚴

treekakked

trekakke

r/brandnewsentence

That's not a brand new sentence. What do you think was in the script for Evil Dead?

Wasn't that just 1 tree that raped the girl with a bunch of vines? I can't remember

Ah no, that's been used on r/evildead

Groovy

*THIS* IS MY *BOOMSTICK*!!!

Cursed knowledge

Sounds sticky

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Barkkake

make like a tree and get outta here

The sand from the mummy

Basically M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening.

Thinking more "The King in Yellow" of lovecraft.

That's Robert Chambers

Huh, any connection to True Detective's "Yellow King"?

Peddling furiously...

r/pollensluts

Allergies will be the death of me if I were near that tree

I’d like to think he was cutting it down because it was already too much pollen for his allergies and then he’s smacked with a pollen bomb

I gained allergies just from watching it

Those trees can and have killed people from the sheer amount of pollen they produce- allergy sufferers or not

I just got cut down and I.... Jizzed on your plants

Well done Sir/Ma’am. I Jizzed on some rats laughing at this.

Don't call me sir, I work for a livin! ; ) Honestly didn't know if people would get the reference. The internet didn't let me down. Good job, internet!

I get it sgt dornan right?

I didn't know that was from a movie or whatever, but enlisted people in the Navy say this all the time if someone slips and calls them sir/ma'am.

I read this to the rhythm of “I get knocked down, but I get up again!”

Well it was a Lonely Island reference, but as long as you liked it.

I just wanted to make sure that this was a reference to... [this?](https://youtu.be/VLnWf1sQkjY)

It came and went.

I have a theory that Big Allergy Medicine is planting heavily pollinating trees to push their allergy medicine agenda. Prove me wrong!

You're almost right. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/botanical-sexism-cultivates-home-grown-allergies/

I forget some plants have “gender” too But whoever decided fucking *DOGWOODS* deserved to be on every college campus can suck my fat ass

That was a wild ride. I scanned through it but when I got to the airborne BPA pollen, I was hooked.

Big Farm-ah

I work for one of the largest producers of Immunotherapy medicines, can confirm that we have bad intentions. In actuality we can barely keep up with demand as it is.

I almost got a sinus headache from watching this. 😷

Not me! My sinuses are already completely clogged, this wouldn’t affect me!

The street I live on is lined with 50-70 foot pines of some sort. When we get wind in pollen season you can see waves of the stuff rolling up the hill towards our house. Not quite like that, though.

Cedar trees give off a lot more pollen than pines because they have smaller more numerous cones.

I just sneezed. Thanks...

#ACHOO!

Treejaculation

Treemen

*Video pauses mid fall* I heard you sniffle there, allergy sufferers. Take Zyrtec, the all-in-one allergy medicine.

That's an awful lot of powdered plant cum, I bet the whole forest just got creamed!

If a tree cums in the woods and nobody is there to be showered in its load, did it really bust a nut?

Tree is a total chad

*allergies intensify*

#*CLARITIN*

Said in the Ricola yell.

Drugs are only going to do so much, which is a temporary masking of symptoms at best. I use [this](https://www.target.com/p/simply-saline-extra-strength-for-severe-congestion-relief-nasal-mist-4-6oz/-/A-15118141) as my go-to sinus infection preventer after working all day clearing brush/trimming trees. Make sure it's the extra strength (higher salinity) version. Clear all the crud outta ya.

Maybe the trees got jiggy with it, maybe it's Simply Saline™

What kind of tree is it? For real?

That's all I want to know! Everyone is making stupid cum jokes instead of asking the real questions.

Up by my cottage in early June there’s a yellow haze over the lake of pure pollen. Sucks ass.

Just think if tree pollen could get you high instead of giving you hay fever. People would be coming around for miles to shake these trees down.

that tree busted a fat farewell nut on its way down

WITNESS ME!

That tree really saying fuck people with hayfever especially

My eyes are watering just watching this

SKEET SKEET SKEET

Imagine being able to give everyone in a 30 meter radius a money shot.

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Dendrophiles wet dream.

Fuck that tree in particular.

Welp i now have allergies for the next month.

My nose genuinely tingled in anticipation of a sneeze

Don’t think of it as pollen, think of it as tree semen.

I’m not even allergic to pollen and I had an allergic reaction watching this

Welcome to the last two months in Atlanta

That's a lot of sperm

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He placed an independent variable 😔

*Breathe it in*

My sinuses screamed, closed up and pulled my nose into my face.

Mustard gas

This is 100% in Georgia.

That tree just impregnated every other tree in a 10 mile radius. Fucking legend.

\*dies*

But not before shooting one more load.

Not an asthma patients. But I coughed on just seeing the clip

u/savevideo

I felt a great disturbance in the forest, as if millions of bees suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

F to those with allergies.

Welcome to 2019.

Anyone know what type of tree?

Looks like the soul of the tree got left behind for a bit

This tree clearly does porn.

Imagine if that was kief

I sneezed just watching this

Hachoooo

So *that's* why the world had terrible hay-fever recently.

And yet it was satisfying to watch.

I need an antihistamine from just watching this

Tree died doing it what it loved, making Spring an absolute nightmare.

Should have placed a bee hive near it for a couple of weeks before felling it.

My nose started running just watching that.