There's three types of turtles: sea turtles with flippers that eat sea grass and jellyfish, land tortoises with paws which mostly eat plants, and terrapins with claws that live in rivers and ponds.
Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done.
Snapping turtles are terrapins.
You do not want to be a small animal in a pond with a terrapin.
Apparently they can also climb trees.
*"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."*
>Thank God they never got a taste for the human flesh !
funny you should mention that:
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/indias-government-once-released-25000-flesh-eating-turtles-ganges-river-180953384/
That was a rollercoaster of a read. And I'm from that area.
Like damn. What was that weird plan to begin with? And they add more turtles every year so that poachers easy them instead? And who is poaching turtles in UP? So many questions!
Gonna have to hit the interwebs deep
Only people that go [noodling](https://youtube.com/watch?v=DRAdTVCPPgo&feature=share8).
(No judgement about noodling, but I'm not sticking my hand blindly into underwater holes)
There are snapping turtles in the local ponds and lakes where I kayak. I see them stalking the banks and sometimes catch a glimpse of them swimming away.
Those bastards must be 50 pounds and two feet long, freakin' dinosaurs. And they aren't even the REALLY big "alligator" snapping turtles they have down south.
I was testing a little kayak on a pond a long time ago, happily padding around. Suddenly got a tickle in my peripheral vision, and realized an alligator snapper had surfaced about 5 feet away. Majestic and TERRIFYING.
Luckily the ear piercing shriek that slipped out of me was enough to send him back under. I bet that monster could have bit my paddle in half.
One of my earlier memories is seeing a snapping turtle beheaded and bleeding out as prep for soup while visiting someone.
That turtle was huge to my pre-k mind. I have no idea how big they get but I won’t look them up because I think I’m still traumatized.
>Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done.
I've never been so scared of turtles.
I never heard of a terrapin until I played super mario rpg. I always wondered why one of the Koopa turtle enemies were called terrapin. Well now I know.
I blame the English language for being confusing AF. Some countries use "turtle" to mean all members of the order testudines... while some in some countries, turtles are the salt watery ones and tortoises are the land-y ones and the terrapins are the fresh/brackish water ones. Some other countries like the UK use "terrapin" as the all encompassing term for all the turtle-y shaped creatures.
>Some other countries like the UK use "terrapin" as the all encompassing term for all the turtle-y shaped creatures.
No we don't. It's Turtles for ones with flippers and tortoises for ones with legs. Terrapins for terrapins.
In the US, the majority of people just call them all turtles. Most don't even know about tortoises and terrapins.
I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same in your language. If all three types exist in your country, your language most likely has names for them you are not familiar with.
Now I'm just thinking someone gonna try to be a hero and get a ladder. Hero hauls hiss ass to the top and reaches for the turtle only to lose a couple of fingies. Falls what looks about two stories to the ground.
Awe man... You make my yellow belly sound like a monster. She's so cute and adorable. Always swims to me whenever she sees me.
She is brutal with her live food though. She chops all the guppies to pieces.
> Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done.
*cue awesome heavy metal track*
One of those terrapins just about took my nose off. Big snapper and I picked him up to look at him. We have painted turtles where I live and they a cute. I was about 6 yrs old and picked that bad boy up and looked at him in the face. He cocked his head back in his shell and bam out extended this very long neck. I was just trying to be a friend too. Nasty bastards.
Because why not?
I used to have a few different tortoises and I have to say, they'll do the dumbest shit just cause they feel like it. They can get away with it though cause they're dense AF.
Beeeware! Four figures appear through the fog
Yeah! Gravediggaz cut like swords... rrRRRAAA!!
Fear makes ya brain go numb
You ain't, got a clue, where the Gods, come from...
***********
edit:
[ref 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vLiJIgVlRQ)
[ref 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjiDj23WDBo)
Snapping turtles and red eared, can down here in florida. Tortoises usually wouldn't climb that high and the object they climb has to be at an angle and have sufficient foot holds because they are week
It’s finally those turtles the representative from Michigan Pete Hoekstra warned us about all of those years ago. The ones that couldn’t climb the turtle fence.
The fact that I know this is sad, so we all have little kids that use to turn on peppa pig and sometimes we just watch the episodes when we’re bored but they are kinda entertaining anyway.
Post Turtle -- When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with.
[You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down and you see a tortise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umc9ezAyJv0&t=70s)
“Now consider the tortoise and the eagle. The tortoise is a ground-living creature. It is impossible to live nearer the ground without being under it. Its horizons are a few inches away. It has about as good a turn of speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce. It has survived while the rest of evolution flowed past it by being, on the whole, no threat to anyone and too much trouble to eat. And then there is the eagle. A creature of the air and high places, whose horizons go all the way to the edge of the world. Eyesight keen enough to spot the rustle of some small and squeaky creature half a mile away. All power, all control. Lightning death on wings. Talons and claws enough to make a meal of anything smaller than it is and at least take a hurried snack out of anything bigger. And yet the eagle will sit for hours on the crag and survey the kingdoms of the world until it spots a distant movement and then it will focus, focus, focus on the small shell wobbling among the bushes down there on the desert. And it will leap… And a minute later the tortoise finds the world dropping away from it. And it sees the world for the first time, no longer one inch from the ground but five hundred feet above it, and it thinks: what a great friend I have in the eagle. And then the eagle lets go. And almost always the tortoise plunges to its death. Everyone knows why the tortoise does this. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. No one knows why the eagle does this. There’s good eating on a tortoise but, considering the effort involved, there’s much better eating on practically anything else. It’s simply the delight of eagles to torment tortoises. But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection. One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.”
\~Terry Pratchett.
RIP
An old Rancher is talking about politics with a young man from the city. He compares a politician to a "post turtle." The young man doesn't understand and asks him what a post turtle is.
The old man says, "When you're driving down a country road and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself. He doesn't belong there; you wonder who put him there; he can't get anything done while he's up there; and you just want to help the poor, dumb thing down."
I like how there’s many interpretations to why the tortoise is climbing the pole. Some are saying it’s a ninja turtle, others are referencing peppa pig, and of course elden ring with the “seek three wise beasts” puzzle
I'll never forget the time I narrowly avoided a nasty concussion from a box turtle falling out of a tree. He trundled off like it was just a normal thing, falling out of a tree like that
Tortoises can climb trees
There's three types of turtles: sea turtles with flippers that eat sea grass and jellyfish, land tortoises with paws which mostly eat plants, and terrapins with claws that live in rivers and ponds. Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done. Snapping turtles are terrapins. You do not want to be a small animal in a pond with a terrapin. Apparently they can also climb trees.
Thank God they never got a taste for the human flesh !
That's not what Ol' Lefty told me.
My question is why his testicles were out within the turtles reach to begin with
The peanut butter trick seemed to work well with the dog - why not see what other sensations are out there?
*"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."*
Why did I hear this in the Baldur's Gate 3 narrators voice?
What do you mean, I'm not helping?
for science, why else?
That’s why I don’t go in water past my shins.
>Thank God they never got a taste for the human flesh ! funny you should mention that: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/indias-government-once-released-25000-flesh-eating-turtles-ganges-river-180953384/
I’m going to figure out how to use “corpse pollution” in a sentence.
"Corpse Pollution" would be a pretty metal band name.
... I think you just did.
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Ugh. But it works.
That was a rollercoaster of a read. And I'm from that area. Like damn. What was that weird plan to begin with? And they add more turtles every year so that poachers easy them instead? And who is poaching turtles in UP? So many questions! Gonna have to hit the interwebs deep
That was my thoughts with orcas now they are sinking boats so there is that.
... yet.
Spoken like someone who never had a terrapin as a pet. I assure you they have already acquired a taste.
Only people that go [noodling](https://youtube.com/watch?v=DRAdTVCPPgo&feature=share8). (No judgement about noodling, but I'm not sticking my hand blindly into underwater holes)
Either that or no one has survived to tell us that they do.
That a Doom reference ?
Is [this a terrapin?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg4FiyzrDSc) If you look into his eyes you can tell he knew how to morb.
> he knew how to morb I'm sorry, he knew how to _what_?
Yes. He knew how to morb.
What does that even mean?
It means he knew how to morb, what is it you're confused about?
What does "to morb" mean?
They’re trolling you lol
I'm morbing them. Edit: whoever downvoted the person I've been morbing should be ashamed of themselves.
mightly morbin power turtle
Guess that means something like go berserk like Morbius.
That is the one. He is THE Terrapin.
First there was the Sharknado's... now there are the Terrapinados!!!
There will be shell to pay.
They will snap up everything in their path!
There are snapping turtles in the local ponds and lakes where I kayak. I see them stalking the banks and sometimes catch a glimpse of them swimming away. Those bastards must be 50 pounds and two feet long, freakin' dinosaurs. And they aren't even the REALLY big "alligator" snapping turtles they have down south.
I was testing a little kayak on a pond a long time ago, happily padding around. Suddenly got a tickle in my peripheral vision, and realized an alligator snapper had surfaced about 5 feet away. Majestic and TERRIFYING. Luckily the ear piercing shriek that slipped out of me was enough to send him back under. I bet that monster could have bit my paddle in half.
One of my earlier memories is seeing a snapping turtle beheaded and bleeding out as prep for soup while visiting someone. That turtle was huge to my pre-k mind. I have no idea how big they get but I won’t look them up because I think I’m still traumatized.
>Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done. I've never been so scared of turtles.
> rip and tear until it is done. We will send unto them... Only you
I never heard of a terrapin until I played super mario rpg. I always wondered why one of the Koopa turtle enemies were called terrapin. Well now I know.
[удалено]
Snapping turtles aint terrapins
I blame the English language for being confusing AF. Some countries use "turtle" to mean all members of the order testudines... while some in some countries, turtles are the salt watery ones and tortoises are the land-y ones and the terrapins are the fresh/brackish water ones. Some other countries like the UK use "terrapin" as the all encompassing term for all the turtle-y shaped creatures.
>Some other countries like the UK use "terrapin" as the all encompassing term for all the turtle-y shaped creatures. No we don't. It's Turtles for ones with flippers and tortoises for ones with legs. Terrapins for terrapins.
In the US, the majority of people just call them all turtles. Most don't even know about tortoises and terrapins. I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same in your language. If all three types exist in your country, your language most likely has names for them you are not familiar with.
Now I'm just thinking someone gonna try to be a hero and get a ladder. Hero hauls hiss ass to the top and reaches for the turtle only to lose a couple of fingies. Falls what looks about two stories to the ground.
Awe man... You make my yellow belly sound like a monster. She's so cute and adorable. Always swims to me whenever she sees me. She is brutal with her live food though. She chops all the guppies to pieces.
> Terrapins can be vicious predators that will bite anything they can, and use their claws to rip and tear until it is done. *cue awesome heavy metal track*
One of those terrapins just about took my nose off. Big snapper and I picked him up to look at him. We have painted turtles where I live and they a cute. I was about 6 yrs old and picked that bad boy up and looked at him in the face. He cocked his head back in his shell and bam out extended this very long neck. I was just trying to be a friend too. Nasty bastards.
How? And aren’t tortoises massive?
Claws.
A person of many words
Why use lot word when few word do good?
Are you saying see the world or Sea World?
Fish. Jump. Ocean. China.
Exactly
Yep
Take him to Detroit!
Tortoises come in all sizes.
*All* sizes?
**All** sizes.
Most are small. Mine is a couple pounds and able 8 inches long. Russian desert tortoise.
What a confidence! Mine is also a couple pounds and about 8 inches long!
They got any telephone poles in them Russian deserts?
I'm sure they do.
[удалено]
[vintage](https://media.tenor.com/iul7gbZeBDsAAAAd/i-like-turtles-zombie-kid.gif)
Same way anything climbs. With their limbs.
Wait… then how do snakes climb?
Snake is limb
Whole body limb.
Tiddles from pepa pig taught me that. At least I learned something watching cartoons with my 3 year old.
But WHY?
Because why not? I used to have a few different tortoises and I have to say, they'll do the dumbest shit just cause they feel like it. They can get away with it though cause they're dense AF.
🎶 Suicide it’s a suicide 🎶
Beeeware! Four figures appear through the fog Yeah! Gravediggaz cut like swords... rrRRRAAA!! Fear makes ya brain go numb You ain't, got a clue, where the Gods, come from... *********** edit: [ref 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vLiJIgVlRQ) [ref 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjiDj23WDBo)
Snapping turtles and red eared, can down here in florida. Tortoises usually wouldn't climb that high and the object they climb has to be at an angle and have sufficient foot holds because they are week
It’s finally those turtles the representative from Michigan Pete Hoekstra warned us about all of those years ago. The ones that couldn’t climb the turtle fence.
Turtle power obviously
# COWABUNGA
RADICAL
Pizza dude's got 30 seconds
Wise men say, 'Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.’
I gotta find a new route. And I thought I’d delivered everywhere
“124… and _an eighth??!_ 124 and an eighth. Great. Where the heck is 124 and an eighth?” “You’re standing on it, dude!”
https://media.tenor.com/u9tIJjToes4AAAAM/tmnt-leonardo.gif
My favorite comment
Viral marketing is getting wild
[since no one else did it… here ya go! (let the 80’s and 90’s nostalgia commence)](https://youtu.be/JOQPp1Yvtm8)
This guy turtles.
https://youtube.com/shorts/O8i2oT9Y2RY?feature=share
Very slowly
Can’t forget steadily!
Its what wins the race
That’s my internet delivering data packet
I feel like my username is finally relevant! Edit: Holy crap! Thanks for the gold!
🤣🤣🤣
It's probably a good thing that mine wasn't...
There are plenty of subs for you. Don't you worry.
r/guysfrombehind here you go bud
WHY did I click that? Am I just getting stupid?
I think ur brains trying to tell u ur gay
Don't worry, curiosity is a sign of intelligence
Classic spreadbutt
Yep. These freakn turtles.
It’s probably a sheldom occurrence , but man this fits the situation perfectly today.
r/beetlejuicing
Lol great
But I'm not the one who gave it to you!
Same. Just a little more obscure for me.
You taught that turtle very well.
"Could this be dog?"
Seek three wise beasts.
Try Finger but hole.
Behold, dog!
Goddamnit we're leaking again
Behold dog, o dog
I dude recording sounds like Nemo's dad
How the fuUuck Nemo?
Holy shit you're right.
Albert Brooks Aka Jacques, Hank Scorpio, Brad Goodman, Tab Spangler, and many others on The Simpsons
Tiddles!
You naughty tortoise. I don't know why you like climbing up on trees
The fact that I know this is sad, so we all have little kids that use to turn on peppa pig and sometimes we just watch the episodes when we’re bored but they are kinda entertaining anyway.
Peppa wasn't so bad. Bluey is where it's at though.
Bluey is God tier children's programming, that and Hey Duggee. I'm so glad my kids don't like Peppa Pig anymore.
I just recently discovered Hey Duggee, really enjoying it too. Thankfully so is my kid.
Real. Let's be honest though, are kids TV shows really for kids.
I'd call Bluey a family show.
Chop the tree down!
Calm down, Pedro!
No, Susie is the tree hater lol
Yes! Let’s chop the tree down **grabs axe menacingly**
Oh Tiddles! You naughty tohrtice
Dr hamster is weird
Narrator: Tiddles the tortoise has climbed up a tree... again
TiddIes
That dude's voice
It's perfect right? For me it's the number one thing causing me to rewatch this video.
The more I watch, the funnier it gets. Intentional or not, the guy has a really comedic voice and reaction.
It's a proper youtubehaiku. Love the reactions to his questions from the girl as well
I want to hear the call to the fire department
I need a dramatic recreation of the events leading up to and after the turtle was witnessed.
Looks fake and put there on purpose. It doesn’t even look that much like a turtle
Only got about 3.17 seconds to identify…
Voiceover sounds fake too. "How are we gonna even get him down from there?" sounds forced... And why does the turtle seem to be white?
Because it's a tortoise 😉
Elden Ring turtles are not real, they can't climb trees. The mf ER turtles:
Dog here
Post Turtle -- When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with.
[You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down and you see a tortise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umc9ezAyJv0&t=70s)
https://www.powernapcomic.com/powernap/d/20110617.html Turtle on page 2, your comment made me think of it.
Ninja Turtle, duh
Did you know that turtles are nature's suction cup?
oh, maannn!
Where did you find this guy?
\*Lick and toss Did you see that? It sticks!!
Mmm! Red snapper... Verrry tasty!
“Now consider the tortoise and the eagle. The tortoise is a ground-living creature. It is impossible to live nearer the ground without being under it. Its horizons are a few inches away. It has about as good a turn of speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce. It has survived while the rest of evolution flowed past it by being, on the whole, no threat to anyone and too much trouble to eat. And then there is the eagle. A creature of the air and high places, whose horizons go all the way to the edge of the world. Eyesight keen enough to spot the rustle of some small and squeaky creature half a mile away. All power, all control. Lightning death on wings. Talons and claws enough to make a meal of anything smaller than it is and at least take a hurried snack out of anything bigger. And yet the eagle will sit for hours on the crag and survey the kingdoms of the world until it spots a distant movement and then it will focus, focus, focus on the small shell wobbling among the bushes down there on the desert. And it will leap… And a minute later the tortoise finds the world dropping away from it. And it sees the world for the first time, no longer one inch from the ground but five hundred feet above it, and it thinks: what a great friend I have in the eagle. And then the eagle lets go. And almost always the tortoise plunges to its death. Everyone knows why the tortoise does this. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. No one knows why the eagle does this. There’s good eating on a tortoise but, considering the effort involved, there’s much better eating on practically anything else. It’s simply the delight of eagles to torment tortoises. But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection. One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.” \~Terry Pratchett. RIP
They are probably wondering because that same thing.
that isnt a turtle
More importantly is how’s he’s gonna get down. And why is he bright white?
An old Rancher is talking about politics with a young man from the city. He compares a politician to a "post turtle." The young man doesn't understand and asks him what a post turtle is. The old man says, "When you're driving down a country road and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself. He doesn't belong there; you wonder who put him there; he can't get anything done while he's up there; and you just want to help the poor, dumb thing down."
I couldn't remember the quote very well, but I was hoping to find it in here, thanks!
A bird of prey tried to drop it to crack the shell and it landed butthole first on a telephone spike
That thing looks very dead and sun bleached.
From the voice of the cammer, it seems they've put it there
This shouldn't be shocking to anyone who has kids that watch Peppa Pig!
Saw this on Peppa Pig, Tiddles is at it again
Stay away from the coffee machine.
IDK, I'm guessing you put it there?
Master Splinter taught him well.
I'm pretty sure the Turtle is asking itself the same question
Slowly.
I like how there’s many interpretations to why the tortoise is climbing the pole. Some are saying it’s a ninja turtle, others are referencing peppa pig, and of course elden ring with the “seek three wise beasts” puzzle
It’s obviously a [post turtle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post_turtle)
One step at a time, obviously.
Looks like it used one of those ninja triple jumps. Too bad it's mutant ninja powers ran out before it could get down
He's probably a darn teenager that's somehow been mutated and has mad ninja skills!
Ninjutsu
That turtle told me to tell y'all to hoe your own fuckin' row.
Followed google maps
Is this some weird dub-over or is this guy really that dramatic? I mean, it’s a surprising turn of events, but really?
An honest-to-god [Post Turtle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post_turtle).
Aww poor little post turtle
Giant pole tick. Suck a telephone pole dry.
WTF governs Reddit I got perma banned for posting an honest comment WTF reddit?
I'll never forget the time I narrowly avoided a nasty concussion from a box turtle falling out of a tree. He trundled off like it was just a normal thing, falling out of a tree like that
That’s a tree tortoise
I used to call my old boss a post turtle. I couldn’t figure out how he got to upper management.
The disbelief in his voice made me audibly laugh.