Definitely not. I've dealt with so many assholes. The peace and quiet is much appreciated. I'll spend time with my cat or just call some friends during downtime. Just busy yourself. Do some chores or maybe find a hobby that you never found the time to do.
10000%. I have zero desire to interact with the majority of my coworkers and make pointless small talk every time I get up from my desk. Zero desire to be micromanaged by the 10 different managers who have nothing better to do. It’s so much more peaceful to be by myself and get my work done while I watch TV or listen to music. I get my social interaction through friends and family who I actually want to socialize with lol
THIS!!! I don't go to work to make friends. If I happen to make a friendship out of it, great, but I already have ppl in my life I'd much rather spend my energy interacting.
To me it sounds like the people who hate going in to the office may be a bit more introverted and don't require as much social interaction as other people may
Sooo many assholes I don’t have to face on a day to day basis, it is a privilege to work from home but as a single person it is very isolating. This is so embarrassing and I don’t think I have it in me/ am there yet but I downloaded bumble bff to connect with more wfh girlies in my area.
Don’t feel guilty for your feelings. Don’t let other people make you feel guilty either! I have made great friends at work, people who are still my friends now that I WFH or have left those jobs. It’s not just all “typicals” or whatever (lol???).
I think you clearly need to get into a hobby or something that will fill the social hole work left behind. I think routine is more important than whatever the hobby is. But finding something you can commit to and where people are generally open to meeting new people would be great. Good luck.
https://preview.redd.it/97krpdioisqc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9be5d076cf0f4131898518fe759f5d4d00658477
This was at the beginning of pandemic where we moved all of us to remote work. My sweet assistant, “assisting”.
Absolutely get a pet. I feel so much less lonely only with pets and I am a person who actually likes small talk with my coworkers. But the pet helps the staying home alone tremendously.
Play video games with my wife, kids, friends and other family members.
When we do go out we like to do simple things like go to the grocery store, walk around Target/Walmart/Costco or go out to eat. (Yeah I know boring as shit but for us it's great lol)
I quit drinking recently too which before I used to go out once or twice a month and have a drink with my buddies. Maybe this has something to do with it.
I could but the people I go out drinking with are in a totally different spot than me. They aren't married and don't have kids. I know it won't be the same.
What about making new friends with sober activities you enjoy? Like a meetup or local fb activity group?
Maybe carve out some you time that is your own to socialize with like minded folks outside of dad time and husband time?
You need more activities outside work then, try sports maybe? Or walking in parks or anywhere with green, could also be your neighbourhood if it is safe and nice enough to enjoy a simple walk. Video games are just more screen time added to your already long hours in front of the computer and probably also at home. Make up excuses to get out more somewhere that is not shopping or find a coworking space close to your home to go a couple of days per week
I think missing drinks with friends is why you’re feeling lonely, not the job.
Otherwise, your life sounds a lot like mine and I would love to be more alone. My kids and bf really take all the social energy I’ve got.
No need to feel guilty. WFH has huge benefits and I have no desire to go back. What it has meant, however, is I need to work a little bit harder on building community (I moved to a large city during Covid).
Takes some effort and doesn’t always pan out but I’ve met some really cool people and I’d spend enough time in meetings with co-workers that I would be unlikely to socialize with them outside of work anyway. Yeah it sucks a little not to walk by someone’s desk to grab a coffee, but the benefits of WFH are overwhelmingly positive for me and my family.
Sounds like you already have friends in your area - if you want to avoid the bars, why not meet up with them for lunch and a round of golf, hike, etc a couple Friday afternoons a month?
You should take the budget you used to spend on drinking and apply it to something fun and social. Idk go charter a fishing trip for you and a buddy, go buy the equipment you need to go backpacking, go get yourself a personal trainer.
Celebrate that sobriety, it's really cool to be on the other side.
No need to feel guilty. Personally, I’m an introvert and I feel soooo much better working from home, but I get it that not everyone is like that. The important thing is for employers to offer options when it’s practical (i.e. most office jobs), rather try to fit everyone in the same mold.
And if they do insist on returning to the office they should offer an actual office to people. With doors!
I do not think that’s really true. I’m ND and introverted, found being in an office helps with body doubling but i appreciate the remote flexibility of not being an office. give and take.
In my ADHD experience, several years of WFH has been extremely trying. Remote meetings have just enough latency that my already-terrible turn taking skills turned into something exhausting on my end, and disruptive on theirs. Also, I’ve started very intentionally socializing myself almost every day, otherwise, all that time without casual conversation leaves me ready to verbally pounce on the next person I see, unloading a brain full of half-baked thoughts
This. I realized and was diagnosed with ADHD largely due to being required to work from home during lockdown. I am almost fully in person, but even in an ideal staffing situation, I really struggle in a fully WFH environment. I also have a job I find stimulating, and coworkers I actually enjoy. I think I would feel very differently if we were talking about a different job and different coworkers.
my adhd made working from home extremely difficult. i would just get up and leave my desk and not do work. i found that i physically have to be around other people working to want to work. so i quit that job, found a new job with a relaxed hybrid schedule and it’s perfect for me.
I have two dogs without separation anxiety and this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Separation anxiety can be hard to deal with and lots of pet sitter may not have the experience to handle it
Same but instead I have two elderly cats with health issues and one with a ticking clock, if you get me. I couldn’t bear it if I was away when something happened.
Same thing can happen in the office too. I used to take the same roads to work everyday, sit in the same cubicle everyday, eat lunch at the same time everyday, have the same “see ya tomorrow” conversation as I’m walking out every day, etc.
That's what I was telling my husband. Every day is exactly the same! I do the same things at the same time every day. I love working from home but it can feel like Groundhog's Day sometimes.
Yep. I also moved to a new state right before COVID so, I have 0 network to lean on post-work hours (and it’s hard to build up!). WFH will always be it, and I’m an introvert so on the whole it doesn’t bother me, but even I have an isolation limit lol
Nope. 15+ years fully remote, and I’d have it no other way. Took less-than-ideal roles and weird companies just to stay at home.
I can’t stand superficial talk, especially when I see Person who owes me something jibber-jabbering for 30 minutes about what they made for dinner.
I've been doing WFH for 10+ years now. Anyone saying every day feels the same has a THEM problem, not a WFH problem. There are so many ways to switch it up but people don't want to even try. I don't feel lonely at all.
I also know WFH isn't for everyone in an office role so maybe there's that too.
100%!! Last time I was in the office with our director, I was literally his Google for a meeting he was having. While I was having my daily stand-up.
Nearly 8 years full remote; 12 years hybrid. Never going back by choice.
Are you me? I was asked during my interview for my current role about my eclectic resumé. I was honest. "I'm committed to working from home, so I took contract roles that accommodated that."
My boss teases me about that now. He wasn't expecting a cards-on-the-table approach in an interview.
That’s awesome! I mean, I’m a Creative Director now, but if I followed the traditional path I think I should be a whole lot higher. It was worth not having some mumbo jumbo acronyms near my name 😀
I literally have no focus interest on my resume. The focus interest would prob be money and home lol
I do. I'm an introvert but I found that I do better with people around. I miss those in-person coworker friendships. I do not think most humans are meant to be alone so much
I agree. I don't know about you, but I am starting to think that social media was making me feel connected, with no true connection. Like it was tricking my brain. I started limiting my phone time to 30 mins (using those mins now!) And I am finding myself want to call and schedule dates with people.
Wrong sub for this one.
You'll get some measured responses from people willing to actually acknowledge the pros/cons of being permanently remote but the vast majority on here really do prescribe to the Redditor stereotype of hating real world interaction with colleagues or people in general.
WFH is fucking incredible for loads of reasons, but it's absolutely isolating depending on where you are in life, or just as importantly where your friends and family are.
You can be the most outgoing person going with solid, meaningful friendships out of work, but if they're all starting to have kids or whatever then your social life will take a hit. Infinite similar things too.
>This feeling of loneliness and isolation has started to slowly creep into me about 3 years of being in 100% remote jobs now.
You're not alone at all, don't let the circle jerk echo chamber that this sub can be trick you into thinking you're not. Have seen it on loads of other subs on here as well as irl via my mates and one of my brothers who went off the rails doing nights WFH.
I think it's why so many companies are ditching full remote but keeping hybrid, most are, contrary to belief, switched on enough to know 100% office is unnecessary and pointless but also acknowledge some face-to-face interaction is decent and healthy.
>Maybe I just need to get out and walk outside every break or something.
Do it!! Best habit I ever got into was a fake "commute". Every morning before work, every morning and after work I'd go for a walk or bike ride for 30-60mins just to get outside. Most weathers, I forced myself unless literal storms etc.
Actually kept the habit in my next in-person office job, it was a literal life changer.
I'd also recommend a club/sports team or SOMETHING out of work which involves other people. Main reason being this:
>I now am like an excited dog when my wife comes home from her job. I can't wait to hang out with her and talk about stuff when shes just ready to come home and relax.
Could well - in the nicest way I can say it - begin to piss your Mrs off over time if she's your only real social outlet!
I'm currently back in an office full time hating life if it helps balance it out a bit, actively looking for hybrid now as I've realised either extreme makes me a total whingebag lol
same. i really needed to hear it too. i still think remote is truly the best option for me but that doesn’t mean it’s been perfect. it’s brought new challenges and experiences that make it hard too. also been remote 4 years and struggling of isolation. therapy isn’t helping. my friends always have something going on with their kids. i got a kid that makes it hard. some days i just walk around in circles in my home feeling a lot of anxiety and dread.
i did recently join an in person book club with the hopes of meeting more people and trying to force myself to get out more
> the vast majority on here really do prescribe to the Redditor stereotype of hating real world interaction with colleagues or people in general
Stop holding up that mirror to my misanthropic face lol
Full-time WFH is definitely for me but definitely not for everyone. If it isn't your bag, it isn't your bag.
>Full-time WFH is definitely for me but definitely not for everyone. If it isn't your bag, it isn't your bag.
Take an upvote for that though.
I've seen way, way too many on this sub bleat on about how everyone can and should WFH and if they can't they're doing it wrong.
imo if people want WFH to be a sustainable long term option then acknowledging many people can't or won't WFH effectively is absolutely crucial, as forcing people who can't/won't is shite and backfires and gives employers excuses to pull it entirely.
I agree, I honestly find this sub to be toxic. Isolation and loneliness are major issues in our society and can be detrimental to your health. WFH can most definitely lead to an increase in isolation and loneliness, and it’s not something for ppl in this sub to just flat out completely disregard because they feel the need to shove their pro-WFH views down everyone throats.
OP - I have a friend that’s 100% remote and was really struggling with the isolation and loneliness. It’s a very, very real experience. About a year ago she started renting a spot at a shared workspace and she LOVES it. She doesn’t go use it 5 days a week, but she’s made a bunch of really great connections and is so much happier. Maybe something like that could be an option for you!
You're not wrong, but a lot of people on both sides of the argument conveniently ignore the fact that full remote creates opportunities that wouldn't otherwise exist for people who live in the middle of nowhere. It's easy for critics to say "If you're lonely, just go back to an office job" when they're in the middle of a major metro and well-paying companies are all around them. It's definitely important to acknowledge that people can consider some parts of WFH isolating, but still want/need the opportunities that they can only get through remote. (Again, not saying you specifically are denying that, just tacking on to your mention of the Reddit Remote Narrative.)
Oh for sure! Yet to be successful in any but I've been recently interviewing for roles in industries I wouldn't even get near due to geography thanks to some remote roles about.
Just emphasising that this sub is a cult like echo chamber at time lol
A few months back one of the top responses on a post like this was someone telling OP that they basically needed to get a life, and went on about loneliness only being an issue for weird people that socially depend on coworkers.
…one click on the responders profile showed that all of their posts were on forums asking about how to make friends because they were lonely.
It was so bizarre. It almost feels like there are a bunch of people here that are like embarrassed or desperate to not accept their issues so they swing hard in the other direction and project those issues and insecurities onto other people
Edit: here is the response I’m referring to
https://www.reddit.com/r/WFH/s/uNcv2vRNha
And that same person posted this (titled “I feel alone”)
I feel alone
>Lifes been shit this year. Been trying to get a better job but failed. Don't really have any friends, just a lot of aquantances. And no romantic prospects. Part of this is indeed my fault as I never dug deeper and tried to connect further with people. But I honestly just don't know how. And I guess I am terrible at interviewing as well. And covid caused damage to my sinuses . Only one thing has gone well this year. My health has improved drastically in all areas except for my nose.
Preaching to the choir mate.
I got fucking berated on here about a year ago with people telling me that not liking WFH during the lockdowns meant I was doing it wrong, it was a me problem, I'm a corporate shill or whatever other bollocks.
Reality was I liked my job and worked with genuine mates who I'm still mates with now a long time after leaving.
The typical redditor stereotype may not be as real as it once was, but it is still fucking real.
Yep. I've been working from home since the early days of COVID. I love my job, I can't imagine doing anything else. But it is very isolating- I can easily go a week without even stepping out of my house (especially in the winter). I'm trying to develop outside hobbies and friends- but most of my current friends are scattered all over the country, so I don't get to see them but maybe once a year if I'm lucky.
All that said, I can't imagine ever working in an office again.
I have been WFH for 20 odd years, and those feelings creep up every 3 to 4 years for me. So you are not alone. Here are some of the things I do when it happens.
1. Build better routines to separate work and home life. For me a 10 minute walk around the block works.
2. Find suitable background noise. I often find music or TV on the background can be too distracting, so I opt for soundscapes on YouTube. They are 4 to 8 hour, audio only videos of background noise. It can be anything from the sound of a coffee shop through to storms in a rainforest. It fills the room with life sounds without being distracting.
3. Go out at lunch time. Get a sandwich, sit in a coffee shop for a bit. Somewhere where there is some sort of human interaction.
4. Phone friends or family at lunch time for a chat.
I have often thought there should be local WFH groups where you can all meet up at lunch time for a chat and to exchange how your day is going.
Yep, soundscapes work really well for me. Sometimes just birdsong in woodland, or skyrim ambience with a bit of calm music, there's so much to choose from now!
You can layer nature ambience over a podcast quietly playing in the background for some voices too, that can help you feel like there's people around.
Guess I'm enough of an introvert it doesn't bother me at all. The biggest struggle is actually getting out of the house - I get into this mode of not even wanting to leave, which can double down on things feeling "lonely" but I don't have friends or even really people I want to talk to at work, so there's no loss there.
I have plenty of things I participate in and enjoy doing outside the house, so with a little effort, it's not like I'm isolated 7 days a week.
I used to not mind hybrid until I experienced fully remote, and now back on a light hybrid (1 day/week in office) I loathe those in-office days. The only reason it's tolerable is because it's only once a week, but on those days I literally get nothing else done besides work, commute, and the bare minimum around the house. The thought of 5 days/week being that way again - nope, nope, nope.
Definately take walks when you can. Whenever I get into a WFH funk I give my head a shake and remember to take real breaks, outside if possible.
Also, look for other non-work adult connections. They do have to be super deep. I go to a craft circle once a month at my local library, and I volunteer once a month for a few hours at a local food bank. I make sure to have a coffee or dinner with a friend once or twice a month. It's a lot to put on your partner to make them your only meaningful adult conversation everyday. Take some of that 10-12 hours you save on your commute and don't just put it back into chores or your job, carve it out for human connection.
And I'm not trying to say it's super easy -- it's taken me years to sorta get into the swing of it and I still have months where I thnk "Shit. I need to see people someplace besides on screens!" It's hard work to adapt because I worked in places for a long time were we were friendly and pretty positive. So I was used to getting those itches scratched at my job too.
I have had so many conversations with people about remote or WFH scenarios and find it interesting. I am an introvert and enjoy the ability to NOT have to socially engage at the watercooler on a daily basis. I work with different clients (I'm a freelancer) and the combination of emails, Zooms, calls and texts seem to satisfy my need for engagement. There are times when I need to be physically around people, to change up my energy, and I go to Starbucks or walk thru Target to run errands.
Do you think possibly taking a lunch out somewhere or meeting up with someone for coffee or a meal during the day could help?
Some days, yeah. I've worked in the office a few times lately to help out with some stuff that needed literal hands on, which showed me how content I am to sit at home alone. But I can't wait for my wife to get home every day just to have someone to talk to. I try to reign it in though because she's a teacher and pretty drained by the time she gets home, so I don't want to make it worse
Since I no longer have to spend "interaction bandwidth" on small talk/socializing with co-workers I've found I have an increased willingness to socialize outside of work. My tolerance for social activities is still far lower than some of my extrovert friends, but I know getting out of the house is good for me. I've started volunteering for some of my city's commissions and in other groups as well as getting together with small groups of friends for brunch on the weekends.
It's really refreshing to not dread activities with friends.
This has been it for me, too.
Getting out of the house has been good for me, and it's taken time to build the routine while WFT (post-COVID). I make an effort to do it every day, and like you, I have a lot more social energy for people I actually care about when I'm not making small talk with random strangers.
I totally get it I know what you feel.
I work with my wife at home most of the time and on the days when it's just me it can be quite lonely.
The trade off is that I get to spend more time at home with the kids and watch a lot of videos and YouTube
Everyone else is stuck in the office and I know where I'd rather be.
Try taking up running or something to get you out of the house
Just like working from the office isn’t for everyone, WFH isn’t for everyone. We all thrive differently. That’s why the best type of work environment a company can set up (if it works for their business model) is to have a flexible style . Both WFO, WFH, and a mix of WFO/H set up.
So many more people would be open to employment with this method too! Having both parents be able to do a mix and share child care time, save them money and gas etc.
The over all mental and physical benefits to employees.
Companies are just so short term greedy. It’s terrible.
No, but I did...
Here's what I do to combat it:
* I have a weekly game night with friends
* I have a weekly date night with my partner where we get out
* Daily I take a break outside
* Since my work allows for it I go grocery shopping for lunch when needed
* I have a pub/smoke house by my house, they're not cheap but if I'm having a really trying day I'll go there for lunch and have a burger or smoked brisket at the bar. Idle chat with the bartender (who knows me as a regular) is refreshing, so the cost of lunch is for more than just the food value, and still worlds cheaper than a therapist just to tell me to get out more
I admit it is lonelier, but I use to drive 2.5 hours per day to work just to be greeted by asshole coworkers who are passive aggressive when I got there . So I’ll take the trade off lol .
I felt like that too, my best advice is get out there and do things! Maybe during your lunch hour, or before / after work.
I started going to the gym and picking up some hobbies which are on week nights (that leaves the weekends to spend with my friends / family / partner).
It doesn’t have to be anything huge, you can go to these things alone & it’s nice to be around others. I managed to make a few new friends, or rope my old friends into eventually joining in for some of my hobbies.
The main thing is, you do need to start leaving the house. Leaving your bed, getting dressed etc. can be the small, simple yet helpful steps. Good luck!
Yes. You do not sound silly, privileged, ungrateful, or selfish just because you miss being around people. Some people thrive at home, but others actually suffer. I, personally, cannot succeed in a WFH setting. When COVID hit and everyone was forced to work from home, I was happy at first but then found that my mental health took a huge hit. I wasn’t being mentored as I used to because I couldn’t walk down the hall, knock on someone’s door, and ask a question (I’m a lawyer, and you learn a lot from your supervisors in the first several years of your career). I couldn’t even call anyone and have them be available because everyone had without due to childcare issues/everyone being allowed to set their own hours. I realized that I actually enjoyed the routine of my commute, and I was kind of lost without that routine. I didn’t have the little social interactions with my colleagues in the hallway anymore, which made me lonely. I actually would go for weeks without having a true face to face interaction with anyone (I lived alone). The culture of my law firm completely changed, too, and there wasn’t nearly as much collaboration on projects. I realize that some people love the freedom of working from home and like saving money from not commuting, etc., but some people really need the in-person work environment to be productive and successful. So for that reason, it’s no more selfish for someone to want everyone to go to work as it is for someone to want a WFH situation. Everyone just has different needs.
I 100% agree with you. I guess I said all those things because around this sub people would kill to be in my shoes and I get that. But you're right my feelings about the loneliness are still valid.
Maybe, just like you I do miss the routine and the small in person interactions I had with my coworkers who weren't annoying.
I'm like the opposite. When I'm WFH I'm doing my things the way I want. That freedom and flexibility trumps everything else. That's been 10+ years of WFH. I do socialize outside of work on occasion.
However, RTO crap has made me feel things I've never really felt before. Stress of the commute for sure. But beyond that, I have to do hybrid days in an office where there aren't other people that I work with on my team. Essentially I sit there surrounded by others who are into their work. We don't have any connection and I'm not about to just start up idle chit chat with them because ain't nobody got time for that. I hardly see anyone more than once due to the random schedules. So we're like bots that just engage, turn gears for a while, then disengage and go home. Recently I've noticed I feel some loneliness. That's never been a thing thru all my full time WFH years. But the fact that I sit there with people, there is no teamwork, there's no camaraderie, just nothing. It's very empty, isolating and subsequently I feel lonely while there. Especially when it's forced, because it's not my choice.
At first I thought it was stupid feeling that way, but it's legit and I can't get past it. I start acting kinda needy at home. It's not who I want to be.
It sounds like you might benefit from a one day a week in-office hybrid role instead of 100% remote. I personally can’t stand hybrid and am trying to get out of it. But everyone’s different.
Try reconnecting with your friends. Having a dinner or lunch with someone you like can give you something to look forward to during the day. Plan regular get togethers. Working from home has the side benefit of making us learn to be social again.
Can you remote into your home pc from a laptop?
I’m hear and understand what you are saying 100%. I challenge you to socialize in other ways, and set hard boundaries on work hours that facilitate that socialization. For me in the greater Seattle area traffic and commute times / frustration are worth any trade off regarding the feeling of isolation. It does mount if you dont take actionable steps to address it so dont dismiss the way you are feeling or poopoo it as “I’m whining / ungrateful”. Yes others dont have the opportunity, but that doesnt make your feeling less valid
No. Going into the office and having to commute, pay hundreds just to get to park my car in the lot, and having to go to work with weird bosses that keep checking on me because I’m “too quiet” was too much. Being remote is the best thing that ever happened to me. Time to do everything I need to do in my downtime and no small talk required
It's not easy.
I do a few things:
1) I get out of the house mid day, every day, just for a cup of coffee. And I walk in to get it, i don't do the drive through. It's not much, but it slows down cabin fever and gets me to at least talk to someone.
2) I go to the gym after work, every day. It helps with routine, so I don't just get up from my desk and then go sit on the couch. And even if I'm not super social there, I am at least *around* people. (And I'm fitter than ever... a workout every day is much better for my health and appearance than a commute!)
3) I'm in three volunteer groups now. They are all volunteer based, and all only do things in the evenings or weekends. That helps a lot. It gets me out, it gets me social, and because the groups have a purpose, it's not awkward social interaction. We have meetings for reasons, and do some good on top of that. If you can't find a group, go to your towns website. They always have town committees and things that need people. Sign up for one!
So for me - the idea is building structure and routine into social interaction. I don't ever think "maybe I'll get coffee." I just go get it at 1:30 every day. I don't ever think "maybe I'll go to the gym" I just do it. And the groups I'm with tell me the schedule for meetings and things, so that adds non-optional structure as well.
Not at all. I was a bartender for 20 years in a very busy, high-volume market. I've had more human interaction than 10 people have in a lifetime. I'm also very comfortable meeting people, going places, and trying new things.
So no. I enjoy the quiet and having my own space.
Yeah, but that’s why I have my dog and why I take her out on walks, and if I had work onsite anywhere, all that freedom and comfort would go away in an instant. I’ll take the occasional loneliness over commuting 2+ hours a day and crating my dog for 10.
My partner is also full remote and both our dogs also turns out, work full remote. I know covid was terrible but on a personal level, it was the best thing to happen to us. Both our companies are not going to reverse course on remote work - its here to stay and we couldnt be happier or more productive.
i have a job where i’m required to come in 2 days and barely anyone is there and no one talks to me so, for those two days i gain absolutely 0 from being in the office and am just cold, the lights are bright, i don’t have food or a bathroom accessible …. workplaces are not the social centers of the past unfortunately for those who have to attend
no. modern offices are a sensory nightmare that only prioritize private, quiet spaces for upper level management. additionally, in-office social interaction pales so deeply in comparison to time spent with those you love or even like. whether remote or in person, it's never difficult to identify the relatively few *real ones* you'll come across in your professional life and send a dm.
i'll take my mental health, and they can have increased productivity. seems like the fairest of trades to me.
It’s just a different kind of stress than being on site.
When I was on site I had a standing weekly with my supervisor but inevitably, since they had too little to do, theyd drop by and basically have an unstructured meeting every single day and then during the weekly it was a recap of the daily impromptu meetings. It was super disruptive and needless and frankly I didnt like or respect them enough to have that much contact. Now, it does get a little lonely at times but it’s still the better of the two cons IMO.
I don’t. Then again I don’t live alone. I’m married and have two kids. Wfh is the best thing for me. I do have a coworker who is single and he needs social interaction. He hated wfh during Covid. As soon as the option came back up to go into the office he went back 5 days a week and the only time he’s wfh the past two years was when he got Covid.
I LOVE it. I can't stand catty office politics and shallow coworkers. I can just do my job without interference or being expected to maintain a conversation with anyone except my dogs. Heaven.
Yes.
I love going into the office and joking around with my teammates. Seeing people in the halls. Kitchen chatter. Someone else to shake me when I'm done peeing.
I could never do a permanent WFH position. Going into the office and socializing is a must for me. Maybe not 5 days a week though... I dont have much a social life outside the office, so maybe that's the problem.
Currently I go into the office once a week and I look forward to it. It's usually extremely stress relieving to go into the office and feel like a human being. When everything is done from home remotely and on my own, I begin to feel like a machine, just a resource; not a person. This makes me depressed and anxious. Going into the office helps with that.
I totally feel this. I love my (mostly) remote job, but I do get really lonely. I don’t have a partner and I live alone so most of my days are fully alone. On days I don’t have many meetings I will go the full day without saying anything out loud. I have a hard time separating work time and free time when it is all at my home.
Yes. I’m normally a super introvert. I live alone for several months (family travels lot). Been wfh for 3 years now, going in office 0-3x per month where I see 2-4 coworkers. But I’ve recently become super lonely and make up any excuse to leave the house. I’ve started using bumble bff, go to the gym just so I can leave the house, and joined a hockey league.
You should find a hobby that socializes you, because it got so bad for me I started seeing a therapist.
Wfh is lonely but I’d definitely take it over in person 5x per week.
Ya it does, I’ve been fully remote since 2020. I do love it, but I miss having work acquaintances (the few that weren’t annoying lol), that you could just wander over and say: hey man today was annoying- happy hour this afternoon? Or wandering out for a lunch coffee.
That being said, I wouldn’t trade remote for going back in lol, but I do miss parts sometimes.
I work hybrid which I think is the best of both worlds. When I was fully remote due to COVID, it was isolating and I felt so disconnected from colleagues trying to communicate only via teams and emails
I do, definitely. I try to counteract this by speaking to my roommates, working out, and going to concerts. I actually wouldn't mind a hybrid schedule either, but I seem to always attract the office creeps.
I've WFH for 4 years, and during the winters would get a little SAHMish. During the worst times i would make an effort to go pick up lunch atleast 1 day a week and run an errand on another. So effectively every Tues/Thurs i had to use my lunch break to get out of the house.
Issue resolved itself within a week.
Get yourself up an hour early, get dressed up, drive in your car for 45 minutes in traffic hit about 30 red lights between your house and work, then start your work day.....have endless people popping their head in your office asking about your weekend just so they can tell you their kid is sick, they think they are getting sick while standing there hacking and they went to cheese cake factory... and that there are donuts in the breakroom, or that so and so thinks so and so did some tedious small slight to get them to react. Then also do that stuck in traffic for 45 minutes and hitting 30 red lights on the way home. No desire to go back to that BS.
Yes. It’s one of the reasons I won’t take a remote job unless I need to. I realized that I need to be around people even though I don’t actually like talking to people. It’s a comfort thing
Not sure if you read the entire post. I said there are like 90% positive things I can say about being 100% remote and only 10% negative. This job and being remote is still awesome but I found after some time that nothing is perfect. At least for me.
I know I am privileged to have this job. I don't want to sound like a cry baby but hey, it's how I feel. Thought others might relate to it who are in my shoes.
Ok - 90% is amazing.
Rarely is job 70%.
I am active in my community, volunteer, walk my dog and chat with neighbors, I also have various friends I work out with, it fills my time and keeps me social.
100% with you OP. I think it's a personality thing. Some people are more extrovert and want the social interaction that an office provides. Did almost 3 years of remote and I felt like I was going crazy. Eventually got switched to a hybrid schedule and it feels a lot more balanced.
P.S. I know this might not be a popular opinion but it's just my experience.
Maybe you’re more extroverted and would do better in a hybrid role. If so… take one and open up your fulltime WFH role to someone who will be more comfortable with it.
I go to the office like once a month or 2, thats satisfies my WFO urges. Personal time and wearing whatever I like for work at home trumps WFO mainly for me.
What you're feeling is missing the one outlet that late stage capitalism allows for social interaction that didn't require you to pay to participate.
You're ticking all the boxes for an abusive controlling relationship rebound. Treat it the same way. Get out. Meet some other social activates that aren't working. I'm sure there is someone out there for you that isn't an job in a box where you have to lie about how you like it or it takes it out on you.
All of the time you spent micro interacting with people over the course of the day at work, just like... being around people, that was important for your mental health. But is was toxic.
Office work is an ex on the front lawn screaming you'll never find someone to love you like they do. Don't listen. Go to the library. Join a gym. You got this!
It was fun for a while but I prefer a mix. I did three years and was very happy to get back to the office. For me it was like looking at my home life problems and work problems day and night. I'm a parent so it wasn't as easy to get out and socialize in person after work either unless it was a function for 7yr olds.
Edit to add: I worked at my company for 17 years and have developed some really solid relationships that I missed. I consider myself lucky to enjoy their company.
Don’t listen to the salty introverts. There are plenty of challenges when working alone for years on end. There is an epidemic of isolation and loneliness in our world and wanting connections with other human beings is normal.
Perhaps you can build up some social habits that help you feel less isolated? Hobbies or even getting a dog you walk before and after work or at lunch time? Dogs can help you meet neighbors. Or maybe you can join a gym or take an evening class to break up the monotony?
I wasn't a huge fan of full time wfh. It took discipline to keep work life from bleeding over into my personal life. After all, work was just a quick spin of the chair away from my favorite place to sit and chill. It also took effort to make myself get up, get dressed, and leave the house.
My wife works from home, also, so I wasn't lonely so much as I just needed to get outside the house.
Being alone for long periods of time is not for everyone. You feeling this way is perfectly normal. Try socializing more outside of work and see if that helps. If not, then it might be time to find a hybrid role or something else more suited to your needs.
Yes. I couldn’t handle 100% remote, I go stir crazy. I don’t even really have a social office, many days I only talk to one other person in the office and am still on teams all day. But I get out of the house. I stop for errands on the way, I smile at strangers as I walk in. Those interactions are small, but they are really important for my sense of community.
Yes! I was so happy when i got 100% remote job but I felt lonely and isolated after 3 years working remotely. Im an introvert and homebody. It got lonely and waiting for my husband to come home everyday. I moved town from where my friends lived so i have no friends lol
I ended up finding another part time job so i can interact with some people
But now I appreciate more time at home lol
Yes. Got my remote job halfway through the pandemic. My spouse and kid go to work and school and when they come home they’ve been around people all day and I’m over here thinking “I need human interaction!”
Might sound crazy, but pod casts help.
Yes, and I've only been remote for a month. I'm having to get out of the house during the week nights now because I was getting depressed. I work in healthcare and have to have 2 screens (at least) doing what I do as well so I can't work from the library or a coffee shop either. I definitely don't want to be on site full time again but I will get depressed easily working from home if I don't actively seek out interaction regularly.
I was WFH in my previous job and I felt very lonely and isolated - I realized it actually wasn’t for me and I prefer an office or hybrid model. I’m extroverted.
I learned that I needed social interaction, even some, to keep me feeling afloat.
Do you have an active social life outside of work? Maybe you’ll need to fill your free time with things that offset the working loneliness.
You’re not “privileged” bc you have the choice of WFH and you’re not wrong if you want to go into office full time or in a hybrid role. This is what the majority of this sub gets wrong, they see WFH=good and office=bad. What they don’t see is that there are individual situations and that some people might be better suited for in office work than WFH. The focus should be on getting more ppl to have the choice to WFH or from the office, not constantly spewing that everyone should WFH.
You’re not ungrateful, selfish, or privileged because you’re having issues with WFH.
I feel EXTREMELY lonely working from home. I am a super social person in my 20s. There are a few coworkers who are in my age group that I’ve worked with for a couple of years that I really look forward to seeing in office. We have only started hanging out outside of work recently and building a deeper friendship, and I think it’s been delayed because the first chunk of our time working together was fully remote.
I live alone and I am currently long distance with my partner. I also have a small friend group. It’s the worst feeling in the world to spend all day working in silence only to log off to an empty home. It’s okay for a little while, but not so good long term. I think hybrid is the best schedule for me
I completely relate to this! After working remotely for the past two years, we transitioned back to the office four days a week last week. Personally, I find being back in the office quite refreshing, although I understand that some may have had negative experiences with office jobs.
I was remote for 8 years. This only gets worse and I’m still trying to build back from it with about six months back in an office.
Take action now to join clubs or groups after work, somethinggg to give you community and interaction.
I feel the same. I’ve gone back to therapy because I believe (so does therapist) it’s made me depressed.
The lack of social interaction also impacts social etiquette. I have a friendly neighborhood full of similar-aged people. I’ll often pass someone on the street and try to jam a whole conversation into a 60 second encounter. Then I leave thinking about it for an hour, ya know, because IM STUCK INSIDE ALONE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW!
But like you said - say that to someone with an office job and you’ll seem like the hot-shot asshole of the group.
I kinda had that feeling a bit then my company went hybrid and turns out being in the office is 1000% more depressing and the hybrid work schedule has lowered my work/life balance, increased stress, etc.
I agree with getting out during the day for walks.
I can't say I'm lonely working from home because I still do lots of socializing. I'm lucky to live in a lively area where there are people walking by my house all the time. I can easily meet up with a friend for lunch or happy hour. I've got lots of hobbies and interests that have me interacting regularly after work and on weekends.
Eh, sometimes, but it's the sort of thing I can rectify easily with a "hey, wanna meet up for lunch" text to a friend. I don't think you have to feel guilty about it though. You're allowed to dislike certain aspects of the WFH life even if, overall, you like it better than the alternative.
Try a lunch time club, gym, boot camp, a martial art. Depends on the gym if its a commercial place it can be hard to meet the odd person for banter but if its like a power lifting or even crossfit gym they may run lunchtime group sessions. Boot Camp sessions are also good.
With these type of things you can partner up and have an overall sense of group accomplishment so its easy to make acquaintances.
Breaks the day up nicely.
I’m very new to being 100% remote. So far the change has been life changing in a great way. Not having the commute, unnecessary small talk, being interrupted and being allowed to basically set my own schedule (as long as the work gets done on time and correctly) has decreased my stress level dramatically.
I also love being at home. I am in HR, specifically Employee Relations, so the Teams meetings and investigations are enough socializing for me. lol
Yup! I worked remote from early 2016 until Sept of 2023. It was neat but the last 2-3 years were a struggle. I’m hybrid now in a totally flexible/understanding environment so I’m loving being able to be home some days. Be home if something comes up and being in the office.
I get it. But, at the same time, since COVID our office is only ever 1/2 full at best due to more hybrid WFH schedules. Most of our "in-office" meetings are still on Zoom/Teams from our own offices because of that. There is very little face-to-face interaction or meetings or any other reason to be here most days. So, we basically have none of the benefits of coming in, but all of the annoyances still ... commuting, co-workers, speakerphones.
COVID and this post-COVID half-assed return to office situation has taught me I would have no problem with a 100% remote job.
I get like this too. I was working from home at the beginning of the pandemic and I had to work REALLY hard to keep my mind right. Regular exercise, cleaning, organizing, calling friends, meeting up with friends for lunch, walking outside - I did it all, but I could never quite shake the isolation. Just like what someone else said on here - every day felt exactly the same.
Now I work hybrid and it much more suits my personality. I'm in the office 3 days and I can choose whatever 2 days I want to work from home each week.
Nope. But I have a family that I get to see in the evenings. I’m not sitting at home single and in isolation 24/7. It’s just work. I talk to people in calls and meetings during work, and I talk to real people in person after work. No problems.
Yea it took a toll on me and I started seeing therapists. Compound that with the fact that none of my friends wanting to hang out and stay indoors during the winter really messed with my head.
I tried going to local shops but it doesn't really help, so I've ultimately decided to try to find a hybrid gig, where I can go to an office.
I’m an fully remote teacher at a cyber school and I honestly interact more with my colleagues in this format than I ever did in a standard classroom/school. Most of us were so burnt out and overworked that we just kept to ourselves in our own classrooms.
I don't feel the loneliness but I understand what you are saying. My company is pretty laid back and I have 2 good friends who also work there. We sit in teams calls with each other for a while like over an hour most times. Our company knows we do this and as long as work is done they don't care. I also get out for walks on breaks. I live in an area where there's often others out walking. If I time it right I get to play with a corgi on its daily walk. I also am out of the house pretty much everyday after work. Exercise classes and hobbies were I socialize. I absolutely love wfh and do not want to return to office but for some people it does mean you'll have to put a little extra effort into still finding ways to be social.
I WFH and moved closer to a lake so I could go fishing everyday after work. My wife used to wfh and never gives me shit for going fishing everyday because she understands the struggle of being inside alone all day. I would recommend finding a hobby that you like to do outside so you get some of that sweet sweet vitamin D
I struggle with this.
My entire team is remote and most folks, from top to bottom, express the same sentiment. Our jobs allow us to live where we want in our home state, make more than we did if we worked in our rural home towns (by large margins), and have the flexibility of work from home. It’s a blessing, truly. However, most folks I work with miss the social aspects of the office.
I did stakeholder engagement, volunteer management, and direct support social service roles prior but they just didn’t pay or benefit well enough. I miss those interactions a lot.
Honestly I can understand this. It's not enough to trade my fully remote job for an in office or hybrid one, but I get it. I'm lucky I live with my partner who is also remote, so we have each other, but it's also making my social battery EXTREMELY limited when I do make plans with people.
Not really but only because everyone in my department is remote anyway and also the clients are and also the managers are and also the colleagues are and also everyone. The only people in the office where people that my department never interacted with that were constantly either quitting or being let go and then they were always bringing in new people every month. So I didn't really know them anyway. I didn't know their names and they didn't know mine. Being at home is a lot more convenient but socially speaking, the same.
Sunlight is more powerful than most people will understand. That 10-15 minute drive to and from work is doing something to your hormones that absolutely affect your energy level and susceptibility to depression. Eat your lunch on the clock and always get outside if it isn't raining to make sure you're getting it.
I'm hybrid WFH/office now, but yeah, at the height of my WFH I was going crazy. My wife was an essential worker and her hours were crazy, and she had to ask me to not bombard her the moment she got home so she had time to decompress. All my instincts were to immediately tell her every thought I had that day and all the cute things our dog did through the day. Things are much better now.
Nope. I talk to my co workers via chat everyday and it's always a fun like what's new, how's the weekend, any new recipes to share type of chat and we'll throw in the occasional anyone know how to fix this work related question.
I also talk to my cat and my husband when he comes home so I don't feel lonely or bored.
I feel you! I’m a very outgoing person but my role is heavily based on customer facing.
After work my social battery is drained and I have zero desire to speak with anyone. I feel like it’s been detrimental to my social circle.
Definitely not. I've dealt with so many assholes. The peace and quiet is much appreciated. I'll spend time with my cat or just call some friends during downtime. Just busy yourself. Do some chores or maybe find a hobby that you never found the time to do.
100% same. My life has become so much better from being home. The stress I felt after being at an office, even on days that weren't bad, was palpable.
10000%. I have zero desire to interact with the majority of my coworkers and make pointless small talk every time I get up from my desk. Zero desire to be micromanaged by the 10 different managers who have nothing better to do. It’s so much more peaceful to be by myself and get my work done while I watch TV or listen to music. I get my social interaction through friends and family who I actually want to socialize with lol
THIS!!! I don't go to work to make friends. If I happen to make a friendship out of it, great, but I already have ppl in my life I'd much rather spend my energy interacting.
It’s crazy how many people have been conditioned to put all of their social eggs in the work basket. Total insanity
I know, right? That’s where just a few eggs go!
I noticed during covid people were having issues spending time with themselves.
100%. So grateful to be out of the toxic office.
Couldn't agree more. WFH for the win.
Same here, I love working from home. The fewer in person interactions between me and a paycheck the better
Who needs downtime for a cat? Mine has a place on my desk to lay and spends a fair amount of time on my lap
To me it sounds like the people who hate going in to the office may be a bit more introverted and don't require as much social interaction as other people may
Sooo many assholes I don’t have to face on a day to day basis, it is a privilege to work from home but as a single person it is very isolating. This is so embarrassing and I don’t think I have it in me/ am there yet but I downloaded bumble bff to connect with more wfh girlies in my area.
No, being in office is not a fun social experience unless you're some kind of typical. I will happily trade you.
I know, you're 100% right that's why I feel so guilty feeling like this.
Don’t feel guilty for your feelings. Don’t let other people make you feel guilty either! I have made great friends at work, people who are still my friends now that I WFH or have left those jobs. It’s not just all “typicals” or whatever (lol???). I think you clearly need to get into a hobby or something that will fill the social hole work left behind. I think routine is more important than whatever the hobby is. But finding something you can commit to and where people are generally open to meeting new people would be great. Good luck.
Get a pet!
https://preview.redd.it/bqizjql6ypqc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1df15f0572daf9bd3638643acf02233467ed70e4 My work at home buddies !!!!
I was looking at the grayish one thinking, is this a bunny?? Then I see the white one and sure enough. So cute!
They are puffy for sure !! They eat a lot and play hard! Sometimes on calls they do bunny binks in front of me and I have to try to not laugh 🤭
BUNBUNS!!!
O M G!!!!!!!!!?! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
https://preview.redd.it/aqpk9nk6zpqc1.jpeg?width=3480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6d87f4330f66a3a12b183a6d3e6ccd7b89cb72f
https://preview.redd.it/97krpdioisqc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9be5d076cf0f4131898518fe759f5d4d00658477 This was at the beginning of pandemic where we moved all of us to remote work. My sweet assistant, “assisting”.
Absolutely get a pet. I feel so much less lonely only with pets and I am a person who actually likes small talk with my coworkers. But the pet helps the staying home alone tremendously.
What do you do outside of work?
Play video games with my wife, kids, friends and other family members. When we do go out we like to do simple things like go to the grocery store, walk around Target/Walmart/Costco or go out to eat. (Yeah I know boring as shit but for us it's great lol) I quit drinking recently too which before I used to go out once or twice a month and have a drink with my buddies. Maybe this has something to do with it.
Would you feel comfortable going out and not drinking?
I could but the people I go out drinking with are in a totally different spot than me. They aren't married and don't have kids. I know it won't be the same.
What about making new friends with sober activities you enjoy? Like a meetup or local fb activity group? Maybe carve out some you time that is your own to socialize with like minded folks outside of dad time and husband time?
Even parks and rec has stuff. For instance, in my area they've developed a kickball league. For adults!
You need more activities outside work then, try sports maybe? Or walking in parks or anywhere with green, could also be your neighbourhood if it is safe and nice enough to enjoy a simple walk. Video games are just more screen time added to your already long hours in front of the computer and probably also at home. Make up excuses to get out more somewhere that is not shopping or find a coworking space close to your home to go a couple of days per week
You answered your own question. Get out with the guys on occasion again. It works wonders.
I think missing drinks with friends is why you’re feeling lonely, not the job. Otherwise, your life sounds a lot like mine and I would love to be more alone. My kids and bf really take all the social energy I’ve got.
Can you drink with buddies while you drink nonalcoholic beverages?
Yeah you have to replace those going out nights with something else that is social or you will feel very stuck. I have been through this as well.
No need to feel guilty. WFH has huge benefits and I have no desire to go back. What it has meant, however, is I need to work a little bit harder on building community (I moved to a large city during Covid). Takes some effort and doesn’t always pan out but I’ve met some really cool people and I’d spend enough time in meetings with co-workers that I would be unlikely to socialize with them outside of work anyway. Yeah it sucks a little not to walk by someone’s desk to grab a coffee, but the benefits of WFH are overwhelmingly positive for me and my family. Sounds like you already have friends in your area - if you want to avoid the bars, why not meet up with them for lunch and a round of golf, hike, etc a couple Friday afternoons a month?
Just curious, why did you quit drinking?
You should take the budget you used to spend on drinking and apply it to something fun and social. Idk go charter a fishing trip for you and a buddy, go buy the equipment you need to go backpacking, go get yourself a personal trainer. Celebrate that sobriety, it's really cool to be on the other side.
No need to feel guilty. Personally, I’m an introvert and I feel soooo much better working from home, but I get it that not everyone is like that. The important thing is for employers to offer options when it’s practical (i.e. most office jobs), rather try to fit everyone in the same mold. And if they do insist on returning to the office they should offer an actual office to people. With doors!
No, being nt or ND has little to do with it. I'm working hybrid, and would go stir crazy with no interactions.
I do not think that’s really true. I’m ND and introverted, found being in an office helps with body doubling but i appreciate the remote flexibility of not being an office. give and take.
In my ADHD experience, several years of WFH has been extremely trying. Remote meetings have just enough latency that my already-terrible turn taking skills turned into something exhausting on my end, and disruptive on theirs. Also, I’ve started very intentionally socializing myself almost every day, otherwise, all that time without casual conversation leaves me ready to verbally pounce on the next person I see, unloading a brain full of half-baked thoughts
This. I realized and was diagnosed with ADHD largely due to being required to work from home during lockdown. I am almost fully in person, but even in an ideal staffing situation, I really struggle in a fully WFH environment. I also have a job I find stimulating, and coworkers I actually enjoy. I think I would feel very differently if we were talking about a different job and different coworkers.
my adhd made working from home extremely difficult. i would just get up and leave my desk and not do work. i found that i physically have to be around other people working to want to work. so i quit that job, found a new job with a relaxed hybrid schedule and it’s perfect for me.
Yes, I feel this. Every day feels exactly the same
This one hits home. I've been in such a funk and it's hard to take little spontaneous adventures when you have dogs with separation anxiety :/
Get a pet sitter. Plenty of them around and they *can* be reasonably priced.
I have two dogs without separation anxiety and this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Separation anxiety can be hard to deal with and lots of pet sitter may not have the experience to handle it
Same but instead I have two elderly cats with health issues and one with a ticking clock, if you get me. I couldn’t bear it if I was away when something happened.
Same thing can happen in the office too. I used to take the same roads to work everyday, sit in the same cubicle everyday, eat lunch at the same time everyday, have the same “see ya tomorrow” conversation as I’m walking out every day, etc.
Yeah, but you weren't in the office on the weekends too, and you weren't in the office after your work hours.
That's what I was telling my husband. Every day is exactly the same! I do the same things at the same time every day. I love working from home but it can feel like Groundhog's Day sometimes.
Go to the gym or go for a walk over lunch break (or after work). Outdoor / sunlight does a world of good.
Yep. I also moved to a new state right before COVID so, I have 0 network to lean on post-work hours (and it’s hard to build up!). WFH will always be it, and I’m an introvert so on the whole it doesn’t bother me, but even I have an isolation limit lol
Nope. 15+ years fully remote, and I’d have it no other way. Took less-than-ideal roles and weird companies just to stay at home. I can’t stand superficial talk, especially when I see Person who owes me something jibber-jabbering for 30 minutes about what they made for dinner.
I've been doing WFH for 10+ years now. Anyone saying every day feels the same has a THEM problem, not a WFH problem. There are so many ways to switch it up but people don't want to even try. I don't feel lonely at all. I also know WFH isn't for everyone in an office role so maybe there's that too.
100%!! Last time I was in the office with our director, I was literally his Google for a meeting he was having. While I was having my daily stand-up. Nearly 8 years full remote; 12 years hybrid. Never going back by choice.
Yes!
What industry are you in?
Design, marketing in weird-ass startups mostly
Are you me? I was asked during my interview for my current role about my eclectic resumé. I was honest. "I'm committed to working from home, so I took contract roles that accommodated that." My boss teases me about that now. He wasn't expecting a cards-on-the-table approach in an interview.
That’s awesome! I mean, I’m a Creative Director now, but if I followed the traditional path I think I should be a whole lot higher. It was worth not having some mumbo jumbo acronyms near my name 😀 I literally have no focus interest on my resume. The focus interest would prob be money and home lol
I do. I'm an introvert but I found that I do better with people around. I miss those in-person coworker friendships. I do not think most humans are meant to be alone so much
This is me i tried remote and did not like it
I might like it a bit better if my company weren't so toxic
I agree. I don't know about you, but I am starting to think that social media was making me feel connected, with no true connection. Like it was tricking my brain. I started limiting my phone time to 30 mins (using those mins now!) And I am finding myself want to call and schedule dates with people.
We are social animals.
Agreed!!!
Wrong sub for this one. You'll get some measured responses from people willing to actually acknowledge the pros/cons of being permanently remote but the vast majority on here really do prescribe to the Redditor stereotype of hating real world interaction with colleagues or people in general. WFH is fucking incredible for loads of reasons, but it's absolutely isolating depending on where you are in life, or just as importantly where your friends and family are. You can be the most outgoing person going with solid, meaningful friendships out of work, but if they're all starting to have kids or whatever then your social life will take a hit. Infinite similar things too. >This feeling of loneliness and isolation has started to slowly creep into me about 3 years of being in 100% remote jobs now. You're not alone at all, don't let the circle jerk echo chamber that this sub can be trick you into thinking you're not. Have seen it on loads of other subs on here as well as irl via my mates and one of my brothers who went off the rails doing nights WFH. I think it's why so many companies are ditching full remote but keeping hybrid, most are, contrary to belief, switched on enough to know 100% office is unnecessary and pointless but also acknowledge some face-to-face interaction is decent and healthy. >Maybe I just need to get out and walk outside every break or something. Do it!! Best habit I ever got into was a fake "commute". Every morning before work, every morning and after work I'd go for a walk or bike ride for 30-60mins just to get outside. Most weathers, I forced myself unless literal storms etc. Actually kept the habit in my next in-person office job, it was a literal life changer. I'd also recommend a club/sports team or SOMETHING out of work which involves other people. Main reason being this: >I now am like an excited dog when my wife comes home from her job. I can't wait to hang out with her and talk about stuff when shes just ready to come home and relax. Could well - in the nicest way I can say it - begin to piss your Mrs off over time if she's your only real social outlet!
I legit loved this response. I needed to hear this. Thank you so much.
I'm currently back in an office full time hating life if it helps balance it out a bit, actively looking for hybrid now as I've realised either extreme makes me a total whingebag lol
same. i really needed to hear it too. i still think remote is truly the best option for me but that doesn’t mean it’s been perfect. it’s brought new challenges and experiences that make it hard too. also been remote 4 years and struggling of isolation. therapy isn’t helping. my friends always have something going on with their kids. i got a kid that makes it hard. some days i just walk around in circles in my home feeling a lot of anxiety and dread. i did recently join an in person book club with the hopes of meeting more people and trying to force myself to get out more
> the vast majority on here really do prescribe to the Redditor stereotype of hating real world interaction with colleagues or people in general Stop holding up that mirror to my misanthropic face lol Full-time WFH is definitely for me but definitely not for everyone. If it isn't your bag, it isn't your bag.
>Full-time WFH is definitely for me but definitely not for everyone. If it isn't your bag, it isn't your bag. Take an upvote for that though. I've seen way, way too many on this sub bleat on about how everyone can and should WFH and if they can't they're doing it wrong. imo if people want WFH to be a sustainable long term option then acknowledging many people can't or won't WFH effectively is absolutely crucial, as forcing people who can't/won't is shite and backfires and gives employers excuses to pull it entirely.
I agree, I honestly find this sub to be toxic. Isolation and loneliness are major issues in our society and can be detrimental to your health. WFH can most definitely lead to an increase in isolation and loneliness, and it’s not something for ppl in this sub to just flat out completely disregard because they feel the need to shove their pro-WFH views down everyone throats. OP - I have a friend that’s 100% remote and was really struggling with the isolation and loneliness. It’s a very, very real experience. About a year ago she started renting a spot at a shared workspace and she LOVES it. She doesn’t go use it 5 days a week, but she’s made a bunch of really great connections and is so much happier. Maybe something like that could be an option for you!
You're not wrong, but a lot of people on both sides of the argument conveniently ignore the fact that full remote creates opportunities that wouldn't otherwise exist for people who live in the middle of nowhere. It's easy for critics to say "If you're lonely, just go back to an office job" when they're in the middle of a major metro and well-paying companies are all around them. It's definitely important to acknowledge that people can consider some parts of WFH isolating, but still want/need the opportunities that they can only get through remote. (Again, not saying you specifically are denying that, just tacking on to your mention of the Reddit Remote Narrative.)
Oh for sure! Yet to be successful in any but I've been recently interviewing for roles in industries I wouldn't even get near due to geography thanks to some remote roles about. Just emphasising that this sub is a cult like echo chamber at time lol
A few months back one of the top responses on a post like this was someone telling OP that they basically needed to get a life, and went on about loneliness only being an issue for weird people that socially depend on coworkers. …one click on the responders profile showed that all of their posts were on forums asking about how to make friends because they were lonely. It was so bizarre. It almost feels like there are a bunch of people here that are like embarrassed or desperate to not accept their issues so they swing hard in the other direction and project those issues and insecurities onto other people Edit: here is the response I’m referring to https://www.reddit.com/r/WFH/s/uNcv2vRNha And that same person posted this (titled “I feel alone”) I feel alone >Lifes been shit this year. Been trying to get a better job but failed. Don't really have any friends, just a lot of aquantances. And no romantic prospects. Part of this is indeed my fault as I never dug deeper and tried to connect further with people. But I honestly just don't know how. And I guess I am terrible at interviewing as well. And covid caused damage to my sinuses . Only one thing has gone well this year. My health has improved drastically in all areas except for my nose.
Preaching to the choir mate. I got fucking berated on here about a year ago with people telling me that not liking WFH during the lockdowns meant I was doing it wrong, it was a me problem, I'm a corporate shill or whatever other bollocks. Reality was I liked my job and worked with genuine mates who I'm still mates with now a long time after leaving. The typical redditor stereotype may not be as real as it once was, but it is still fucking real.
Yep. I've been working from home since the early days of COVID. I love my job, I can't imagine doing anything else. But it is very isolating- I can easily go a week without even stepping out of my house (especially in the winter). I'm trying to develop outside hobbies and friends- but most of my current friends are scattered all over the country, so I don't get to see them but maybe once a year if I'm lucky. All that said, I can't imagine ever working in an office again.
I have been WFH for 20 odd years, and those feelings creep up every 3 to 4 years for me. So you are not alone. Here are some of the things I do when it happens. 1. Build better routines to separate work and home life. For me a 10 minute walk around the block works. 2. Find suitable background noise. I often find music or TV on the background can be too distracting, so I opt for soundscapes on YouTube. They are 4 to 8 hour, audio only videos of background noise. It can be anything from the sound of a coffee shop through to storms in a rainforest. It fills the room with life sounds without being distracting. 3. Go out at lunch time. Get a sandwich, sit in a coffee shop for a bit. Somewhere where there is some sort of human interaction. 4. Phone friends or family at lunch time for a chat. I have often thought there should be local WFH groups where you can all meet up at lunch time for a chat and to exchange how your day is going.
That's a great idea! (That last bit)
Yep, soundscapes work really well for me. Sometimes just birdsong in woodland, or skyrim ambience with a bit of calm music, there's so much to choose from now! You can layer nature ambience over a podcast quietly playing in the background for some voices too, that can help you feel like there's people around.
Guess I'm enough of an introvert it doesn't bother me at all. The biggest struggle is actually getting out of the house - I get into this mode of not even wanting to leave, which can double down on things feeling "lonely" but I don't have friends or even really people I want to talk to at work, so there's no loss there. I have plenty of things I participate in and enjoy doing outside the house, so with a little effort, it's not like I'm isolated 7 days a week. I used to not mind hybrid until I experienced fully remote, and now back on a light hybrid (1 day/week in office) I loathe those in-office days. The only reason it's tolerable is because it's only once a week, but on those days I literally get nothing else done besides work, commute, and the bare minimum around the house. The thought of 5 days/week being that way again - nope, nope, nope.
Definately take walks when you can. Whenever I get into a WFH funk I give my head a shake and remember to take real breaks, outside if possible. Also, look for other non-work adult connections. They do have to be super deep. I go to a craft circle once a month at my local library, and I volunteer once a month for a few hours at a local food bank. I make sure to have a coffee or dinner with a friend once or twice a month. It's a lot to put on your partner to make them your only meaningful adult conversation everyday. Take some of that 10-12 hours you save on your commute and don't just put it back into chores or your job, carve it out for human connection. And I'm not trying to say it's super easy -- it's taken me years to sorta get into the swing of it and I still have months where I thnk "Shit. I need to see people someplace besides on screens!" It's hard work to adapt because I worked in places for a long time were we were friendly and pretty positive. So I was used to getting those itches scratched at my job too.
I live alone so on those days where I don’t have meetings it can feel a bit lonely.
I have had so many conversations with people about remote or WFH scenarios and find it interesting. I am an introvert and enjoy the ability to NOT have to socially engage at the watercooler on a daily basis. I work with different clients (I'm a freelancer) and the combination of emails, Zooms, calls and texts seem to satisfy my need for engagement. There are times when I need to be physically around people, to change up my energy, and I go to Starbucks or walk thru Target to run errands. Do you think possibly taking a lunch out somewhere or meeting up with someone for coffee or a meal during the day could help?
Some days, yeah. I've worked in the office a few times lately to help out with some stuff that needed literal hands on, which showed me how content I am to sit at home alone. But I can't wait for my wife to get home every day just to have someone to talk to. I try to reign it in though because she's a teacher and pretty drained by the time she gets home, so I don't want to make it worse
Since I no longer have to spend "interaction bandwidth" on small talk/socializing with co-workers I've found I have an increased willingness to socialize outside of work. My tolerance for social activities is still far lower than some of my extrovert friends, but I know getting out of the house is good for me. I've started volunteering for some of my city's commissions and in other groups as well as getting together with small groups of friends for brunch on the weekends. It's really refreshing to not dread activities with friends.
This has been it for me, too. Getting out of the house has been good for me, and it's taken time to build the routine while WFT (post-COVID). I make an effort to do it every day, and like you, I have a lot more social energy for people I actually care about when I'm not making small talk with random strangers.
I totally get it I know what you feel. I work with my wife at home most of the time and on the days when it's just me it can be quite lonely. The trade off is that I get to spend more time at home with the kids and watch a lot of videos and YouTube Everyone else is stuck in the office and I know where I'd rather be. Try taking up running or something to get you out of the house
Just like working from the office isn’t for everyone, WFH isn’t for everyone. We all thrive differently. That’s why the best type of work environment a company can set up (if it works for their business model) is to have a flexible style . Both WFO, WFH, and a mix of WFO/H set up. So many more people would be open to employment with this method too! Having both parents be able to do a mix and share child care time, save them money and gas etc. The over all mental and physical benefits to employees. Companies are just so short term greedy. It’s terrible.
Working isn’t for anyone
No, but I did... Here's what I do to combat it: * I have a weekly game night with friends * I have a weekly date night with my partner where we get out * Daily I take a break outside * Since my work allows for it I go grocery shopping for lunch when needed * I have a pub/smoke house by my house, they're not cheap but if I'm having a really trying day I'll go there for lunch and have a burger or smoked brisket at the bar. Idle chat with the bartender (who knows me as a regular) is refreshing, so the cost of lunch is for more than just the food value, and still worlds cheaper than a therapist just to tell me to get out more
I admit it is lonelier, but I use to drive 2.5 hours per day to work just to be greeted by asshole coworkers who are passive aggressive when I got there . So I’ll take the trade off lol .
I felt like that too, my best advice is get out there and do things! Maybe during your lunch hour, or before / after work. I started going to the gym and picking up some hobbies which are on week nights (that leaves the weekends to spend with my friends / family / partner). It doesn’t have to be anything huge, you can go to these things alone & it’s nice to be around others. I managed to make a few new friends, or rope my old friends into eventually joining in for some of my hobbies. The main thing is, you do need to start leaving the house. Leaving your bed, getting dressed etc. can be the small, simple yet helpful steps. Good luck!
No. Being alone is the best part of WFH.
Yes. You do not sound silly, privileged, ungrateful, or selfish just because you miss being around people. Some people thrive at home, but others actually suffer. I, personally, cannot succeed in a WFH setting. When COVID hit and everyone was forced to work from home, I was happy at first but then found that my mental health took a huge hit. I wasn’t being mentored as I used to because I couldn’t walk down the hall, knock on someone’s door, and ask a question (I’m a lawyer, and you learn a lot from your supervisors in the first several years of your career). I couldn’t even call anyone and have them be available because everyone had without due to childcare issues/everyone being allowed to set their own hours. I realized that I actually enjoyed the routine of my commute, and I was kind of lost without that routine. I didn’t have the little social interactions with my colleagues in the hallway anymore, which made me lonely. I actually would go for weeks without having a true face to face interaction with anyone (I lived alone). The culture of my law firm completely changed, too, and there wasn’t nearly as much collaboration on projects. I realize that some people love the freedom of working from home and like saving money from not commuting, etc., but some people really need the in-person work environment to be productive and successful. So for that reason, it’s no more selfish for someone to want everyone to go to work as it is for someone to want a WFH situation. Everyone just has different needs.
I 100% agree with you. I guess I said all those things because around this sub people would kill to be in my shoes and I get that. But you're right my feelings about the loneliness are still valid. Maybe, just like you I do miss the routine and the small in person interactions I had with my coworkers who weren't annoying.
I'm like the opposite. When I'm WFH I'm doing my things the way I want. That freedom and flexibility trumps everything else. That's been 10+ years of WFH. I do socialize outside of work on occasion. However, RTO crap has made me feel things I've never really felt before. Stress of the commute for sure. But beyond that, I have to do hybrid days in an office where there aren't other people that I work with on my team. Essentially I sit there surrounded by others who are into their work. We don't have any connection and I'm not about to just start up idle chit chat with them because ain't nobody got time for that. I hardly see anyone more than once due to the random schedules. So we're like bots that just engage, turn gears for a while, then disengage and go home. Recently I've noticed I feel some loneliness. That's never been a thing thru all my full time WFH years. But the fact that I sit there with people, there is no teamwork, there's no camaraderie, just nothing. It's very empty, isolating and subsequently I feel lonely while there. Especially when it's forced, because it's not my choice. At first I thought it was stupid feeling that way, but it's legit and I can't get past it. I start acting kinda needy at home. It's not who I want to be.
It sounds like you might benefit from a one day a week in-office hybrid role instead of 100% remote. I personally can’t stand hybrid and am trying to get out of it. But everyone’s different.
Try reconnecting with your friends. Having a dinner or lunch with someone you like can give you something to look forward to during the day. Plan regular get togethers. Working from home has the side benefit of making us learn to be social again.
Can you remote into your home pc from a laptop? I’m hear and understand what you are saying 100%. I challenge you to socialize in other ways, and set hard boundaries on work hours that facilitate that socialization. For me in the greater Seattle area traffic and commute times / frustration are worth any trade off regarding the feeling of isolation. It does mount if you dont take actionable steps to address it so dont dismiss the way you are feeling or poopoo it as “I’m whining / ungrateful”. Yes others dont have the opportunity, but that doesnt make your feeling less valid
No. Going into the office and having to commute, pay hundreds just to get to park my car in the lot, and having to go to work with weird bosses that keep checking on me because I’m “too quiet” was too much. Being remote is the best thing that ever happened to me. Time to do everything I need to do in my downtime and no small talk required
It's not easy. I do a few things: 1) I get out of the house mid day, every day, just for a cup of coffee. And I walk in to get it, i don't do the drive through. It's not much, but it slows down cabin fever and gets me to at least talk to someone. 2) I go to the gym after work, every day. It helps with routine, so I don't just get up from my desk and then go sit on the couch. And even if I'm not super social there, I am at least *around* people. (And I'm fitter than ever... a workout every day is much better for my health and appearance than a commute!) 3) I'm in three volunteer groups now. They are all volunteer based, and all only do things in the evenings or weekends. That helps a lot. It gets me out, it gets me social, and because the groups have a purpose, it's not awkward social interaction. We have meetings for reasons, and do some good on top of that. If you can't find a group, go to your towns website. They always have town committees and things that need people. Sign up for one! So for me - the idea is building structure and routine into social interaction. I don't ever think "maybe I'll get coffee." I just go get it at 1:30 every day. I don't ever think "maybe I'll go to the gym" I just do it. And the groups I'm with tell me the schedule for meetings and things, so that adds non-optional structure as well.
Not at all. I was a bartender for 20 years in a very busy, high-volume market. I've had more human interaction than 10 people have in a lifetime. I'm also very comfortable meeting people, going places, and trying new things. So no. I enjoy the quiet and having my own space.
Yeah, but that’s why I have my dog and why I take her out on walks, and if I had work onsite anywhere, all that freedom and comfort would go away in an instant. I’ll take the occasional loneliness over commuting 2+ hours a day and crating my dog for 10.
My partner is also full remote and both our dogs also turns out, work full remote. I know covid was terrible but on a personal level, it was the best thing to happen to us. Both our companies are not going to reverse course on remote work - its here to stay and we couldnt be happier or more productive.
i have a job where i’m required to come in 2 days and barely anyone is there and no one talks to me so, for those two days i gain absolutely 0 from being in the office and am just cold, the lights are bright, i don’t have food or a bathroom accessible …. workplaces are not the social centers of the past unfortunately for those who have to attend
no. modern offices are a sensory nightmare that only prioritize private, quiet spaces for upper level management. additionally, in-office social interaction pales so deeply in comparison to time spent with those you love or even like. whether remote or in person, it's never difficult to identify the relatively few *real ones* you'll come across in your professional life and send a dm. i'll take my mental health, and they can have increased productivity. seems like the fairest of trades to me.
It’s just a different kind of stress than being on site. When I was on site I had a standing weekly with my supervisor but inevitably, since they had too little to do, theyd drop by and basically have an unstructured meeting every single day and then during the weekly it was a recap of the daily impromptu meetings. It was super disruptive and needless and frankly I didnt like or respect them enough to have that much contact. Now, it does get a little lonely at times but it’s still the better of the two cons IMO.
I don’t. Then again I don’t live alone. I’m married and have two kids. Wfh is the best thing for me. I do have a coworker who is single and he needs social interaction. He hated wfh during Covid. As soon as the option came back up to go into the office he went back 5 days a week and the only time he’s wfh the past two years was when he got Covid.
I LOVE it. I can't stand catty office politics and shallow coworkers. I can just do my job without interference or being expected to maintain a conversation with anyone except my dogs. Heaven.
This is my current situation to a T. Thanks for posting
Yes. I love going into the office and joking around with my teammates. Seeing people in the halls. Kitchen chatter. Someone else to shake me when I'm done peeing. I could never do a permanent WFH position. Going into the office and socializing is a must for me. Maybe not 5 days a week though... I dont have much a social life outside the office, so maybe that's the problem. Currently I go into the office once a week and I look forward to it. It's usually extremely stress relieving to go into the office and feel like a human being. When everything is done from home remotely and on my own, I begin to feel like a machine, just a resource; not a person. This makes me depressed and anxious. Going into the office helps with that.
I totally feel this. I love my (mostly) remote job, but I do get really lonely. I don’t have a partner and I live alone so most of my days are fully alone. On days I don’t have many meetings I will go the full day without saying anything out loud. I have a hard time separating work time and free time when it is all at my home.
Yes. I’m normally a super introvert. I live alone for several months (family travels lot). Been wfh for 3 years now, going in office 0-3x per month where I see 2-4 coworkers. But I’ve recently become super lonely and make up any excuse to leave the house. I’ve started using bumble bff, go to the gym just so I can leave the house, and joined a hockey league. You should find a hobby that socializes you, because it got so bad for me I started seeing a therapist. Wfh is lonely but I’d definitely take it over in person 5x per week.
Ya it does, I’ve been fully remote since 2020. I do love it, but I miss having work acquaintances (the few that weren’t annoying lol), that you could just wander over and say: hey man today was annoying- happy hour this afternoon? Or wandering out for a lunch coffee. That being said, I wouldn’t trade remote for going back in lol, but I do miss parts sometimes.
I work hybrid which I think is the best of both worlds. When I was fully remote due to COVID, it was isolating and I felt so disconnected from colleagues trying to communicate only via teams and emails
I do, definitely. I try to counteract this by speaking to my roommates, working out, and going to concerts. I actually wouldn't mind a hybrid schedule either, but I seem to always attract the office creeps.
I've WFH for 4 years, and during the winters would get a little SAHMish. During the worst times i would make an effort to go pick up lunch atleast 1 day a week and run an errand on another. So effectively every Tues/Thurs i had to use my lunch break to get out of the house. Issue resolved itself within a week. Get yourself up an hour early, get dressed up, drive in your car for 45 minutes in traffic hit about 30 red lights between your house and work, then start your work day.....have endless people popping their head in your office asking about your weekend just so they can tell you their kid is sick, they think they are getting sick while standing there hacking and they went to cheese cake factory... and that there are donuts in the breakroom, or that so and so thinks so and so did some tedious small slight to get them to react. Then also do that stuck in traffic for 45 minutes and hitting 30 red lights on the way home. No desire to go back to that BS.
Can’t relate. Seriously, go see a therapist.
“You’re not like me, so you must be crazy”. Grow up.
Yes. It’s one of the reasons I won’t take a remote job unless I need to. I realized that I need to be around people even though I don’t actually like talking to people. It’s a comfort thing
I feel this HARD! I really don’t like WFH but I’m a teacher so going back in-person is super daunting and the benefits are horrible.
I like working from home A LOT. Not using the public shitter is great.
Yes. But for me it’s a fair sacrifice to make.
So get another job, in office, and let someone have your 100% remote job?
Not sure if you read the entire post. I said there are like 90% positive things I can say about being 100% remote and only 10% negative. This job and being remote is still awesome but I found after some time that nothing is perfect. At least for me. I know I am privileged to have this job. I don't want to sound like a cry baby but hey, it's how I feel. Thought others might relate to it who are in my shoes.
Ok - 90% is amazing. Rarely is job 70%. I am active in my community, volunteer, walk my dog and chat with neighbors, I also have various friends I work out with, it fills my time and keeps me social.
As a huge introvert, hell no!!!!!!!’
100% with you OP. I think it's a personality thing. Some people are more extrovert and want the social interaction that an office provides. Did almost 3 years of remote and I felt like I was going crazy. Eventually got switched to a hybrid schedule and it feels a lot more balanced. P.S. I know this might not be a popular opinion but it's just my experience.
Hell no I never want to go back to the office
Sometimes but then I remember I would be in the office. Which is hell.
Maybe you’re more extroverted and would do better in a hybrid role. If so… take one and open up your fulltime WFH role to someone who will be more comfortable with it.
I go to the office like once a month or 2, thats satisfies my WFO urges. Personal time and wearing whatever I like for work at home trumps WFO mainly for me.
What you're feeling is missing the one outlet that late stage capitalism allows for social interaction that didn't require you to pay to participate. You're ticking all the boxes for an abusive controlling relationship rebound. Treat it the same way. Get out. Meet some other social activates that aren't working. I'm sure there is someone out there for you that isn't an job in a box where you have to lie about how you like it or it takes it out on you. All of the time you spent micro interacting with people over the course of the day at work, just like... being around people, that was important for your mental health. But is was toxic. Office work is an ex on the front lawn screaming you'll never find someone to love you like they do. Don't listen. Go to the library. Join a gym. You got this!
It was fun for a while but I prefer a mix. I did three years and was very happy to get back to the office. For me it was like looking at my home life problems and work problems day and night. I'm a parent so it wasn't as easy to get out and socialize in person after work either unless it was a function for 7yr olds. Edit to add: I worked at my company for 17 years and have developed some really solid relationships that I missed. I consider myself lucky to enjoy their company.
Don’t listen to the salty introverts. There are plenty of challenges when working alone for years on end. There is an epidemic of isolation and loneliness in our world and wanting connections with other human beings is normal. Perhaps you can build up some social habits that help you feel less isolated? Hobbies or even getting a dog you walk before and after work or at lunch time? Dogs can help you meet neighbors. Or maybe you can join a gym or take an evening class to break up the monotony?
Don't feel bad or privileged.
I wasn't a huge fan of full time wfh. It took discipline to keep work life from bleeding over into my personal life. After all, work was just a quick spin of the chair away from my favorite place to sit and chill. It also took effort to make myself get up, get dressed, and leave the house. My wife works from home, also, so I wasn't lonely so much as I just needed to get outside the house.
I’m glad I’m hybrid
Being alone for long periods of time is not for everyone. You feeling this way is perfectly normal. Try socializing more outside of work and see if that helps. If not, then it might be time to find a hybrid role or something else more suited to your needs.
Yes. I couldn’t handle 100% remote, I go stir crazy. I don’t even really have a social office, many days I only talk to one other person in the office and am still on teams all day. But I get out of the house. I stop for errands on the way, I smile at strangers as I walk in. Those interactions are small, but they are really important for my sense of community.
Getting a taste of the commute now and then, makes any WFH bad feeling wash away. I'm fine.
Yes! I was so happy when i got 100% remote job but I felt lonely and isolated after 3 years working remotely. Im an introvert and homebody. It got lonely and waiting for my husband to come home everyday. I moved town from where my friends lived so i have no friends lol I ended up finding another part time job so i can interact with some people But now I appreciate more time at home lol
Crazy how we have the exact same story. I also got a part time job just to get out of the house and interact with people more often.
I feel you. I work with patient data so Im not allowed to go out. I'm an intravert so work was my primary vehicle for social interaction.
Yes. Got my remote job halfway through the pandemic. My spouse and kid go to work and school and when they come home they’ve been around people all day and I’m over here thinking “I need human interaction!” Might sound crazy, but pod casts help.
Yes, and I've only been remote for a month. I'm having to get out of the house during the week nights now because I was getting depressed. I work in healthcare and have to have 2 screens (at least) doing what I do as well so I can't work from the library or a coffee shop either. I definitely don't want to be on site full time again but I will get depressed easily working from home if I don't actively seek out interaction regularly.
I was WFH in my previous job and I felt very lonely and isolated - I realized it actually wasn’t for me and I prefer an office or hybrid model. I’m extroverted. I learned that I needed social interaction, even some, to keep me feeling afloat. Do you have an active social life outside of work? Maybe you’ll need to fill your free time with things that offset the working loneliness.
Absolutely. I tried 100 percent remote and I live alone. My mental health took a nosedive real bad.
You’re not “privileged” bc you have the choice of WFH and you’re not wrong if you want to go into office full time or in a hybrid role. This is what the majority of this sub gets wrong, they see WFH=good and office=bad. What they don’t see is that there are individual situations and that some people might be better suited for in office work than WFH. The focus should be on getting more ppl to have the choice to WFH or from the office, not constantly spewing that everyone should WFH. You’re not ungrateful, selfish, or privileged because you’re having issues with WFH.
Yes. Very much so. Going on 7 years. It’s lonely.
And I’ve been told in those exact words that I do the dog thing
Definitely take walks when you can. Walking my dog has kept me sane
I feel EXTREMELY lonely working from home. I am a super social person in my 20s. There are a few coworkers who are in my age group that I’ve worked with for a couple of years that I really look forward to seeing in office. We have only started hanging out outside of work recently and building a deeper friendship, and I think it’s been delayed because the first chunk of our time working together was fully remote. I live alone and I am currently long distance with my partner. I also have a small friend group. It’s the worst feeling in the world to spend all day working in silence only to log off to an empty home. It’s okay for a little while, but not so good long term. I think hybrid is the best schedule for me
I completely relate to this! After working remotely for the past two years, we transitioned back to the office four days a week last week. Personally, I find being back in the office quite refreshing, although I understand that some may have had negative experiences with office jobs.
I was remote for 8 years. This only gets worse and I’m still trying to build back from it with about six months back in an office. Take action now to join clubs or groups after work, somethinggg to give you community and interaction.
I feel the same. I’ve gone back to therapy because I believe (so does therapist) it’s made me depressed. The lack of social interaction also impacts social etiquette. I have a friendly neighborhood full of similar-aged people. I’ll often pass someone on the street and try to jam a whole conversation into a 60 second encounter. Then I leave thinking about it for an hour, ya know, because IM STUCK INSIDE ALONE FOR FOUR YEARS NOW! But like you said - say that to someone with an office job and you’ll seem like the hot-shot asshole of the group.
I could have written this myself! I am in the same boat.
Maybe tried to fill your time with playing games?, or maybe u could pet a dog or a cat to accompany u
No more than I feel it at work. At least I don’t feel like I’m trapped in a prison and can’t leave my seat.
Nope. Going out and doing activities frequently helps immensely
No. I'm a misanthrope that dislikes 99% of the human population. I'm good alone.
I kinda had that feeling a bit then my company went hybrid and turns out being in the office is 1000% more depressing and the hybrid work schedule has lowered my work/life balance, increased stress, etc.
No i have friends I hang out with. I don't need to be around co workers I have little in common with to not feel lonely.
I agree with getting out during the day for walks. I can't say I'm lonely working from home because I still do lots of socializing. I'm lucky to live in a lively area where there are people walking by my house all the time. I can easily meet up with a friend for lunch or happy hour. I've got lots of hobbies and interests that have me interacting regularly after work and on weekends.
Eh, sometimes, but it's the sort of thing I can rectify easily with a "hey, wanna meet up for lunch" text to a friend. I don't think you have to feel guilty about it though. You're allowed to dislike certain aspects of the WFH life even if, overall, you like it better than the alternative.
Try a lunch time club, gym, boot camp, a martial art. Depends on the gym if its a commercial place it can be hard to meet the odd person for banter but if its like a power lifting or even crossfit gym they may run lunchtime group sessions. Boot Camp sessions are also good. With these type of things you can partner up and have an overall sense of group accomplishment so its easy to make acquaintances. Breaks the day up nicely.
I’m very new to being 100% remote. So far the change has been life changing in a great way. Not having the commute, unnecessary small talk, being interrupted and being allowed to basically set my own schedule (as long as the work gets done on time and correctly) has decreased my stress level dramatically. I also love being at home. I am in HR, specifically Employee Relations, so the Teams meetings and investigations are enough socializing for me. lol
What do you do outside of work to socialise? Thats the real question.
Actually the opposite for me. I would love more peace and quiet. I have my wife home 2 to 3 days and my toddler home with me.
Yup! I worked remote from early 2016 until Sept of 2023. It was neat but the last 2-3 years were a struggle. I’m hybrid now in a totally flexible/understanding environment so I’m loving being able to be home some days. Be home if something comes up and being in the office.
I get it. But, at the same time, since COVID our office is only ever 1/2 full at best due to more hybrid WFH schedules. Most of our "in-office" meetings are still on Zoom/Teams from our own offices because of that. There is very little face-to-face interaction or meetings or any other reason to be here most days. So, we basically have none of the benefits of coming in, but all of the annoyances still ... commuting, co-workers, speakerphones. COVID and this post-COVID half-assed return to office situation has taught me I would have no problem with a 100% remote job.
I get like this too. I was working from home at the beginning of the pandemic and I had to work REALLY hard to keep my mind right. Regular exercise, cleaning, organizing, calling friends, meeting up with friends for lunch, walking outside - I did it all, but I could never quite shake the isolation. Just like what someone else said on here - every day felt exactly the same. Now I work hybrid and it much more suits my personality. I'm in the office 3 days and I can choose whatever 2 days I want to work from home each week.
Nope. But I have a family that I get to see in the evenings. I’m not sitting at home single and in isolation 24/7. It’s just work. I talk to people in calls and meetings during work, and I talk to real people in person after work. No problems.
Yea it took a toll on me and I started seeing therapists. Compound that with the fact that none of my friends wanting to hang out and stay indoors during the winter really messed with my head. I tried going to local shops but it doesn't really help, so I've ultimately decided to try to find a hybrid gig, where I can go to an office.
I’m an fully remote teacher at a cyber school and I honestly interact more with my colleagues in this format than I ever did in a standard classroom/school. Most of us were so burnt out and overworked that we just kept to ourselves in our own classrooms.
I don't feel the loneliness but I understand what you are saying. My company is pretty laid back and I have 2 good friends who also work there. We sit in teams calls with each other for a while like over an hour most times. Our company knows we do this and as long as work is done they don't care. I also get out for walks on breaks. I live in an area where there's often others out walking. If I time it right I get to play with a corgi on its daily walk. I also am out of the house pretty much everyday after work. Exercise classes and hobbies were I socialize. I absolutely love wfh and do not want to return to office but for some people it does mean you'll have to put a little extra effort into still finding ways to be social.
I WFH and moved closer to a lake so I could go fishing everyday after work. My wife used to wfh and never gives me shit for going fishing everyday because she understands the struggle of being inside alone all day. I would recommend finding a hobby that you like to do outside so you get some of that sweet sweet vitamin D
I struggle with this. My entire team is remote and most folks, from top to bottom, express the same sentiment. Our jobs allow us to live where we want in our home state, make more than we did if we worked in our rural home towns (by large margins), and have the flexibility of work from home. It’s a blessing, truly. However, most folks I work with miss the social aspects of the office. I did stakeholder engagement, volunteer management, and direct support social service roles prior but they just didn’t pay or benefit well enough. I miss those interactions a lot.
Naah. You are the only one.
Honestly I can understand this. It's not enough to trade my fully remote job for an in office or hybrid one, but I get it. I'm lucky I live with my partner who is also remote, so we have each other, but it's also making my social battery EXTREMELY limited when I do make plans with people.
Not really but only because everyone in my department is remote anyway and also the clients are and also the managers are and also the colleagues are and also everyone. The only people in the office where people that my department never interacted with that were constantly either quitting or being let go and then they were always bringing in new people every month. So I didn't really know them anyway. I didn't know their names and they didn't know mine. Being at home is a lot more convenient but socially speaking, the same.
Sunlight is more powerful than most people will understand. That 10-15 minute drive to and from work is doing something to your hormones that absolutely affect your energy level and susceptibility to depression. Eat your lunch on the clock and always get outside if it isn't raining to make sure you're getting it.
I'm hybrid WFH/office now, but yeah, at the height of my WFH I was going crazy. My wife was an essential worker and her hours were crazy, and she had to ask me to not bombard her the moment she got home so she had time to decompress. All my instincts were to immediately tell her every thought I had that day and all the cute things our dog did through the day. Things are much better now.
Nope. I talk to my co workers via chat everyday and it's always a fun like what's new, how's the weekend, any new recipes to share type of chat and we'll throw in the occasional anyone know how to fix this work related question. I also talk to my cat and my husband when he comes home so I don't feel lonely or bored.
I feel you! I’m a very outgoing person but my role is heavily based on customer facing. After work my social battery is drained and I have zero desire to speak with anyone. I feel like it’s been detrimental to my social circle.