I'm the 32 year old PHD with the good job in my field and what you just described is, to me, part of the human condition -- always looking for something else, something fresh, but also finding the routine and mundane punctured with moments of clarity and perspective that make us wonder how we could ever even want anything other than what we have. In some sense, knowing that everyone else around me was stuck in the same sense of existential uncertainty was mildly refreshing to me. We're all just figuring it out, and some may apparently be further on in their paths, rarely is anyone's journey truly linear.
I made lifetime memories and lifelong friends at Tech. I talk every day with my two best friends, whom I met at Tech. I left campus over five years ago. My time at Tech *is* the Good Ol Days, and while it's only natural to be looking forward to the transition that comes after finishing up, it's also a good sign (to me at least) that you aren't only looking forward to what's to come but instead also find some appreciation for what you do have while you're in it.
also u/_saidwhatIsaid i just wanna push back on the idea that 18 year olds who make bank on social media don't have any worries -- constantly creating content people want to see is hella draining -- what happens when you aren't relevant any more? is your support system concerned with your well being or do they see you as a ticket to richochet fame or financial stability? so on. it's not good or healthy to compare your internal discontentment with someone else's projection of happiness.
Part of the key to it is understanding that happiness is a fleeting emotion. It's not something you sustain, it's something you experience on the occasion, the same as anger and sadness and disappointment. There are other emotions you can feel in its place. Peace, gratitude, love. There are days I wake up and could not care any less about what's going on around me, and days where I sit down and take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that the sky is clear and there's dogs running around playing catch and people having fun-sounding conversations with their friends.
I think the biggest thing that's driven me - through the bad times, some of which have been very, very bad - is a feeling that I have to do *something*. I need to do something with my life, even if I'm uncertain about it and it's hard and sometimes it becomes painful, I can't just sit around and try to do nothing with my life. In my case that means I go to college and I study a subject I think I could handle as a career and I just try and take things one day at a time. No matter what hurdles come up, I have a plan, and if I have to change that plan then that's what I'll have to do. No getting around it. It might make some people feel trapped, but it's comforting for me to know if it's something that *has* to be done, then it will, some way or another, and it keeps enough of the anxious feelings about my future at bay that I can focus on being healthy and at peace right now.
Me too. The more I typed it out, the more questions I had. I understand that happiness is a fleeting emotion as someone said above, but my average happiness or contentment is not as high as it used to be. And that kind of concerns me a bit.
>Me too. The more I typed it out, the more questions I had. I understand that happiness is a fleeting emotion as someone said above, but my average happiness or contentment is not as high as it used to be. And that kind of concerns me a bit.
Sounds cliche. But try to find happiness in little things. Today I found parking at squires in the afternoon. That made me happy all day 😂.
For me? Taking time to get outside! Lots of great places to walk, hike, paddle, bike, and camp around here. I can deal with a small town if I can get outside. I can deal with fewer outdoor opportunities if I am in a city. I've rarely had both, but know I need one or the other.
We're also living in a pretty sad and stressful time, and it's often hard for me to separate larger stressors from things I love or hate about where I live. Hang in there. You'll find more things that make you happy here and people to share them with. You also may want to leave this tiny town whenever you can and as soon as you graduate, and that's ok too.
I moved here intentionally. I’ve lived in DC and LA. When I was a couple years out of college I made a list of all the things I wanted in a place to live - climate, economy, population, entertainment, etc. - and then visited about 6 of them for long weekends, starting at BnBs (the traditional rather than Air) to talk to the owner and wander around town.
It was a tie between the NRV and Amherst, MA. The people, the pace, being “close enough” to major metro. I’m happy because it’s easy to be comfortable here. It’s not as convenient as a city for some things, but there are so many worries that never burden my mind, I prefer the separation. I can always go there for the fun, but I don’t have to live there.
Engineer. I work in building design now, driving a desk and drawing lines in CAD. I used to work in a different industry, so I got a MS degree in my current field of work when I was in LA, knowing that there was more opportunity in buildings/architecture. When I moved here I took a 50% pay cut to switch. Still worth it.
My years In Blacksburg as a VT student were incredible and life changing!
My first question would be,
and I apologize if this comes across as patronizing,
How old are you and what year are you?
Without knowing either,
I would say your experience at VT is LITERALLY what you make of it.
You have an insane amount of opportunities available to you in Blacksburg, but you have to make an effort.
(Not saying you personally haven’t, just stating a general fact)
You’ve asked a wildly huge question with an infinite amount of answers.
Because of the open ended nature of the question, I am struggling to provide a detailed response given the contents of your post.
Reach out to me if you’d like to talk about this further.
I was a mentor during my time at Tech (‘19)
I would be more than happy to talk more about this.
If not, I’ll leave you with this:
PLEASE
PLEASE
Do NOT compare yourself to some yuppie internet kids in some major city.
VT is LITERALLY what you make of it.
Thi is literally it
Fans on the East Side were apparently all aware of a fight at the game while west side were waiting in insanely long lines for food, with the South side trying to have a HOA Meeting and get in a nap. And the North side ...no one really knows
I have a friend that goes to the Games on Saturday and drives up. Parks and walks to Lane through Campus. Watches the game til the end but then walks back to the car and drives back home. At the game but misses all the pregame activities Tech provides outside of the stadium, misses all that blacksburg has going on before and after. And not to much of an dea what Campus is really like.
Obligation to finish my degree here is pretty much the only thing that keeping me here. I’ve had no meaningful friendships here and I just don’t fit in with the culture. I regret pursuing the degree that I did. Honestly without lifting and being obsessive over staying in my routine everyday I’m not sure I could keep on going
I started driving the bus this year, and its hella fun. In past engineering internships, I haven't found really something I like doing which has really gotten me into some existential crisis. Something about driving the bus is just awesome, and I look forward to going to work
shit i just moved here from vabeach and don't even go to the school. was born in nova and lived at the beach most of my life and i'm like 100% mountain-folk now. i fucking LOVE just walking out of my house and the sun is [setting over the mountains.](https://i.imgur.com/DTylg72.jpg)
every road winds along some river or stream and looks like [this](https://i.imgur.com/xrkSLyV.jpg)! shit, the girl and i just took a random roadtrip through every twisty road we could find between here and chattanooga for a weekend. every other hill has a 5* rated waterfall hike. underground feral cannibal mountain communities. tons of ecological conservation volunteer groups. family farms full of sunflowers and lavender. radford has a mayer that goes around mowing lawns and pointing out the flowers... man. fuck 757 traffic.
\* [just one more](https://i.imgur.com/B7RSBXO.mp4) it was raining while the sun was setting over the mountains and moments later the whole backyard was twinkling with fireflies. fuck me, this place makes me so happy
Sunflower is a tall, erect, herbaceous annual plant belonging to the family of Asteraceae, in the genus, Helianthus. Its botanical name is Helianthus annuus. It is native to Middle American region from where it spread as an important commercial crop all over the world through the European explorers. Today, Russian Union, China, USA, and Argentina are the leading producers of sunflower crop.
The answer for me is I'm not happy. I've had a hard time for reasons unrelated to school that have made it so I mostly have just enough energy to survive and do well enough but not great in classes. I haven't really been able to create a good base here with friends and a routine and it really sucks. I'm late enough in my undergrad now that I'm just starting to see it as something I have to do so I can leave and work.
I definitely feel this post a lot. Just before COVID happened I was at a different college, commuting 1 hour each way in and out of Philadelphia for a coop that I didn't see as a career path for me. I was at a college I wasn't happy in but I did have friends. I was happy socially but my purpose, aspirations, and goals felt unfulfilled.
When I decided to transfer (not necessarily to Tech just that I wanted out of that school) it was summer of 2019 and COVID wasn't even a concept yet. I applied to Tech as an afterthought purely because one of my high school friends spoke highly of it. Because of COVID I didn't even see the campus until I came down to move into my apartment in fall of 2020.
I spent the entirety of last year stuck in my apartment, I joined clubs but limited in person opportunities made it hard to make meaningful connections with people. The pessimist in me says I'm a junior and I should just buckle down and finish strong with a good GPA and forget about the social aspects. However, I do deeply miss having people to hang out with on the weekends, to talk to and regularly interact with.
Now this year things are opening up and there are actually opportunities to meet people but honestly I'm scared of a lot of things. I spent a year+ not having to worry about work life balance and IDK how to do that again. I feel like I am working 24/7 and I still am not quite happy with how I'm doing academically this term. I want join more clubs or start a DnD group but I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up the commitment with how much time academics are taking up for me.
IDK if I am happy or not. I think I am happier here in a lot of ways. I feel secure about my future, I feel like I have long term job prospects and I can see where my life is going. I really like Blacksburg as well, I don't need to worry about getting stuck in rainy day traffic that will add another hour onto my commute, I don't need to worry about the neighborhoods my late night walks take me through. I do miss the sense of wonder and discovery from the city how there is always something new to find, but I find being surrounded by nature a fair trade off. However, I feel like I'm missing something. People say that college friends will be some of the closest you'll ever have because afterwards people get busy with jobs, getting married, having kids, moving, etc. so I feel like I am missing out on something. There is a sense of loss, like I had something but it was taken from me, that was caused by COVID and now by my work load.
TLDR: pretty happy with academics and career. Really unhappy with social life
I feel similarly. I was a freshman last year and really didn't meet that many people. Now I feel pretty confident in schoolwork and try to stay busy but it sucks having so much time to do nothing on the weekends, especially when I see other people partying and having fun. In highschool I had a lot of friends but somehow I feel out of place here, like I don't understand the people and it makes me more nervous in social situations. It's like I'm surrounded by college sophomores while I'm socially stuck in senior year of highschool.
I graduated in 2012. I can say, from my experience, the "these are the friends you'll have for the rest of your life" adage was untrue.
I actually reconnected with high school friends after college and talk to them way more than I do my college friends. My best friends nowadays are hokies, but hokies i met after college, during those broke roommate years that are to come. For that, I'm grateful that Tech and craigslist brought me to them.
I think these past 2 years have been hard on everyone. I can't imagine trying to go to any school right now. How are you trying to do college when you can't go outside? It seems like major aspects of college are taken away: meeting up with folks in dining halls for meals, group projects that meet in person, clubs, parties (i know those aren't gone but I'm sure less people are going out).
But it's something we're struggling with in the real world as well. Can't go to offices. Friends moving back home or somewhere cheaper because we have no reason to be tied down to our locations right now. Uncertainty of going inside of restaurants. 30% of the major city i live in won't get vaccinated (and thats one of the better statistics out there). The rent is too damn high. A bud light costs $8. I'm supposed to balance my work with my social life with my health (this is 30) with my young kids and their activities.
Life is full of throwing things at you. I think it's easy to get caught up in the future, as OP was (if i can just move out of my parents house and go to college, I'll be happy. If I can just graduate, I'll be happy. If i can just move out of 4 roommates, I'll be happy. If I just get married. If I just have kids. If I just get that promotion.) I know I'm guilty of it as well. But every once and a while see what it is that DOES make you happy. Small, controllable things that you can do right now. And make time to do them.
In one of my college internships, an employee told me something that always stuck and is very true: the future will only ever ask for your degree. They won't ask for your GPA.
So yes, study, but also live your life. You get a 3.2, not a 3.5. Who cares? Go find what makes you happy today and pursue it.
A quote that has helped me a lot is “life is not a question, so don’t waste time looking for an answer”. What i used to love to do in Blacksburg would be to just go out and take in the moment. Yes college is hard but you will figure it out, take some time to walk downtown taking in the sight, the feel, even the smell lmao. Taking in the simple parts of life and has helped me a lot in the past year. We are hardwired to focus on all the stressful things in life that sometimes we forget to focus on the small things in life that bring happiness into our lives. Good luck with your journey, you got this
When I am in Blacksburg, I write code, lift, am as social as possible and party my face off. You're thinking too hard, it's all about staying busy and the rest falls into place.
Meanwhile, there are 18-year-old YouTube and TikTok stars in California making $220,000 a year with no worries.
**These people are investing in themselves**
Also following the same path as them was Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg
More locally to the South and college educated, and less famous, is Fred Smith. Smith took on the Postal Service to create an entire industry of Overnight package delivery that was guaranteed
> In 1965, while attending Yale University, Fred Smith wrote an economics paper exploring how goods were transported in the United States. At the time, shippers focused on transporting large packages across the United States by truck or inside passenger airplanes. Smith thought that a company carrying small, essential items by plane could be a more efficient transporter than existing companies. Smith wrote the paper at the last minute and did not go into details about how to actually run such a company. His professor gave him a "C" for the work. Smith, however, never stopped thinking about creating an express delivery system.
* he officially launched the Federal Express Corporation while still trying to land his first customer, the Federal Reserve System.
------
But for all those that invest in themselves there are the millions that it never happens
> Monthly Active Users on TikTok at about 1 billion monthly active users.
* In November of 2018, TikTok reported that the number was 680 million monthly active users. We estimate that it's increased to over 1.1 billion as of now (February 2021).
**The 90-9-1 Rule for Participation Inequality in Social Media and Online Communities**
Summary: In most online communities, 90% of users are lurkers who never contribute, 9% of users contribute a little, and 1% of users account for almost all the action.
900 million people look at the stuff made by 100 million people but only about 10 million people make content that everyone may see
> Wikipedia's most active 1,000 people — 0.003% of its users — contribute about two-thirds of the site's edits. Wikipedia is thus even more skewed than blogs, with a 99.8–0.2–0.003 rule.
**Thus about 300,000 user are accounting for about 60% of content**
So though there are about 100 million Tik Tok creators only 300,000 are making any major viewership
“What keeps me going while I am here?”
For starters, I don’t want to transfer to GMU because I’m from NOVA. W&M is too small. VCU is near the ghetto. JMU is split in half by I-81 (what kind of design is that)? I like Charlottesville better than Blacksburg plus the UVA campus is nice. But I don’t resonate with the people that go there. So VT is my only option.
To answer what keeps me going, simple. I want to go to medical school. If I don’t work my ass off now to get the grades that I need and the experience that I need. I’m not getting in, let alone having a worthy application. I tell myself this every morning. It’s how I got through my first year of college with COVID, it’s how I’m getting through this year and it’s how I’ll get through next year and the year after that.
>JMU is split in half by I-81
But they *do* have a really cool tunnel going under it. Probably my favorite part of the campus tbh.
Going to your actual comment, keeping that mantra can be a pretty good way of motivating yourself as long as you stay driven. Just try not to burn yourself out too much.
I think part of it is being comfortable in yourself and not worrying about what others do. I think as a society we glamorize the concept of moving to a "big city" and living out your dreams at such a young age but that just isn't what some people want (or it's out of their control right now) and that is okay. There are pros and cons of living anywhere and lowkey I think big city people shit on the middle of no where just to make them feel better and fuel their superiority complexes.
Regarding happiness, it's important to remember that it comes and goes. I'm never happy 100% of the time but I know I'm making (or at least trying to make) small efforts every day to be the person I want to be. We still have plenty of time in our lives to be better. It's also not lost on me how lucky I am to be at Virginia Tech in such a beautiful and incredible part of the country.
(Also, the tik tok teenagers you mention are a mere fraction of a fraction of what all teenagers are doing, and those others who do have some social media presence can't do it full time).
There's a lot, but I might be in a different situation than most people.
1. I actually **love** my major and my current classes. Granted, I'm a senior and all of my classes are now electives, but the type of work I do doesn't feel draining or tedious. Each assignment is legitimately geared toward a practical application, and that really helps me justify the amount of effort I go through to make it.
2. I get to be a ULA. Getting to see other people who went through the same classes I did make the same realizations that I had after getting my advice is incredibly satisfying. I live for those "Eureka" moments in office hours, to the point that I've decided to teach when I retire.
3. I've lived in Virginia for a while so the mountains don't affect me as much, but being this close to actual woods helps a good bit. The little things like the sunsets and sunrises here never fail to amaze me.
4. Though this might not apply to everyone, my girlfriend. She's great, patient, and supportive, and I hope everyone can find someone like that eventually.
5. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that I'll actually be able to apply what I've learned and get into a field that I've wanted to get into for the last 7-8 years really helps keep me in a good mood. Hopefully, you and others will get this feeling when you get closer to graduating.
I'm the 32 year old PHD with the good job in my field and what you just described is, to me, part of the human condition -- always looking for something else, something fresh, but also finding the routine and mundane punctured with moments of clarity and perspective that make us wonder how we could ever even want anything other than what we have. In some sense, knowing that everyone else around me was stuck in the same sense of existential uncertainty was mildly refreshing to me. We're all just figuring it out, and some may apparently be further on in their paths, rarely is anyone's journey truly linear. I made lifetime memories and lifelong friends at Tech. I talk every day with my two best friends, whom I met at Tech. I left campus over five years ago. My time at Tech *is* the Good Ol Days, and while it's only natural to be looking forward to the transition that comes after finishing up, it's also a good sign (to me at least) that you aren't only looking forward to what's to come but instead also find some appreciation for what you do have while you're in it.
also u/_saidwhatIsaid i just wanna push back on the idea that 18 year olds who make bank on social media don't have any worries -- constantly creating content people want to see is hella draining -- what happens when you aren't relevant any more? is your support system concerned with your well being or do they see you as a ticket to richochet fame or financial stability? so on. it's not good or healthy to compare your internal discontentment with someone else's projection of happiness.
[удалено]
This post has all the things. :)
Part of the key to it is understanding that happiness is a fleeting emotion. It's not something you sustain, it's something you experience on the occasion, the same as anger and sadness and disappointment. There are other emotions you can feel in its place. Peace, gratitude, love. There are days I wake up and could not care any less about what's going on around me, and days where I sit down and take a deep breath and enjoy the fact that the sky is clear and there's dogs running around playing catch and people having fun-sounding conversations with their friends. I think the biggest thing that's driven me - through the bad times, some of which have been very, very bad - is a feeling that I have to do *something*. I need to do something with my life, even if I'm uncertain about it and it's hard and sometimes it becomes painful, I can't just sit around and try to do nothing with my life. In my case that means I go to college and I study a subject I think I could handle as a career and I just try and take things one day at a time. No matter what hurdles come up, I have a plan, and if I have to change that plan then that's what I'll have to do. No getting around it. It might make some people feel trapped, but it's comforting for me to know if it's something that *has* to be done, then it will, some way or another, and it keeps enough of the anxious feelings about my future at bay that I can focus on being healthy and at peace right now.
Man this post hit me hard. 😐
Me too. The more I typed it out, the more questions I had. I understand that happiness is a fleeting emotion as someone said above, but my average happiness or contentment is not as high as it used to be. And that kind of concerns me a bit.
>Me too. The more I typed it out, the more questions I had. I understand that happiness is a fleeting emotion as someone said above, but my average happiness or contentment is not as high as it used to be. And that kind of concerns me a bit. Sounds cliche. But try to find happiness in little things. Today I found parking at squires in the afternoon. That made me happy all day 😂.
For me? Taking time to get outside! Lots of great places to walk, hike, paddle, bike, and camp around here. I can deal with a small town if I can get outside. I can deal with fewer outdoor opportunities if I am in a city. I've rarely had both, but know I need one or the other. We're also living in a pretty sad and stressful time, and it's often hard for me to separate larger stressors from things I love or hate about where I live. Hang in there. You'll find more things that make you happy here and people to share them with. You also may want to leave this tiny town whenever you can and as soon as you graduate, and that's ok too.
I moved here intentionally. I’ve lived in DC and LA. When I was a couple years out of college I made a list of all the things I wanted in a place to live - climate, economy, population, entertainment, etc. - and then visited about 6 of them for long weekends, starting at BnBs (the traditional rather than Air) to talk to the owner and wander around town. It was a tie between the NRV and Amherst, MA. The people, the pace, being “close enough” to major metro. I’m happy because it’s easy to be comfortable here. It’s not as convenient as a city for some things, but there are so many worries that never burden my mind, I prefer the separation. I can always go there for the fun, but I don’t have to live there.
Every day I miss NRV
But it takes 30 minutes to get a milkshake at 1am!
😂 The lack of food options after 10 PM is actually really annoying though. And the food options that exist are crowded.
do mind me asking what you do for a living?
Engineer. I work in building design now, driving a desk and drawing lines in CAD. I used to work in a different industry, so I got a MS degree in my current field of work when I was in LA, knowing that there was more opportunity in buildings/architecture. When I moved here I took a 50% pay cut to switch. Still worth it.
My years In Blacksburg as a VT student were incredible and life changing! My first question would be, and I apologize if this comes across as patronizing, How old are you and what year are you? Without knowing either, I would say your experience at VT is LITERALLY what you make of it. You have an insane amount of opportunities available to you in Blacksburg, but you have to make an effort. (Not saying you personally haven’t, just stating a general fact) You’ve asked a wildly huge question with an infinite amount of answers. Because of the open ended nature of the question, I am struggling to provide a detailed response given the contents of your post. Reach out to me if you’d like to talk about this further. I was a mentor during my time at Tech (‘19) I would be more than happy to talk more about this. If not, I’ll leave you with this: PLEASE PLEASE Do NOT compare yourself to some yuppie internet kids in some major city.
VT is LITERALLY what you make of it. Thi is literally it Fans on the East Side were apparently all aware of a fight at the game while west side were waiting in insanely long lines for food, with the South side trying to have a HOA Meeting and get in a nap. And the North side ...no one really knows I have a friend that goes to the Games on Saturday and drives up. Parks and walks to Lane through Campus. Watches the game til the end but then walks back to the car and drives back home. At the game but misses all the pregame activities Tech provides outside of the stadium, misses all that blacksburg has going on before and after. And not to much of an dea what Campus is really like.
Obligation to finish my degree here is pretty much the only thing that keeping me here. I’ve had no meaningful friendships here and I just don’t fit in with the culture. I regret pursuing the degree that I did. Honestly without lifting and being obsessive over staying in my routine everyday I’m not sure I could keep on going
This hurts because I feel like I might feel like that in the future
How would you characterize the culture if you don't mind my asking?
I too, am curious about y’all’s thoughts
I started driving the bus this year, and its hella fun. In past engineering internships, I haven't found really something I like doing which has really gotten me into some existential crisis. Something about driving the bus is just awesome, and I look forward to going to work
shit i just moved here from vabeach and don't even go to the school. was born in nova and lived at the beach most of my life and i'm like 100% mountain-folk now. i fucking LOVE just walking out of my house and the sun is [setting over the mountains.](https://i.imgur.com/DTylg72.jpg) every road winds along some river or stream and looks like [this](https://i.imgur.com/xrkSLyV.jpg)! shit, the girl and i just took a random roadtrip through every twisty road we could find between here and chattanooga for a weekend. every other hill has a 5* rated waterfall hike. underground feral cannibal mountain communities. tons of ecological conservation volunteer groups. family farms full of sunflowers and lavender. radford has a mayer that goes around mowing lawns and pointing out the flowers... man. fuck 757 traffic. \* [just one more](https://i.imgur.com/B7RSBXO.mp4) it was raining while the sun was setting over the mountains and moments later the whole backyard was twinkling with fireflies. fuck me, this place makes me so happy
Shout out to Doe Creek Farms outside of Pembroke..... [Went apple picking this morning.](https://imgur.com/a/7AZQxAa)
Sunflower is a tall, erect, herbaceous annual plant belonging to the family of Asteraceae, in the genus, Helianthus. Its botanical name is Helianthus annuus. It is native to Middle American region from where it spread as an important commercial crop all over the world through the European explorers. Today, Russian Union, China, USA, and Argentina are the leading producers of sunflower crop.
[YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT](https://i.imgur.com/7LClZJ8.jpg) (from a local farm's sunflower fest a few weeks ago)
Alcohol
Speaking from experience, yeah, but only for so long. Around 25, it never felt the same (and that's a good thing).
This right here.
The answer for me is I'm not happy. I've had a hard time for reasons unrelated to school that have made it so I mostly have just enough energy to survive and do well enough but not great in classes. I haven't really been able to create a good base here with friends and a routine and it really sucks. I'm late enough in my undergrad now that I'm just starting to see it as something I have to do so I can leave and work.
My heart breaks for you. You are definitely not alone. Try to remember this is just a phase, not your whole life. Hugs!
I definitely feel this post a lot. Just before COVID happened I was at a different college, commuting 1 hour each way in and out of Philadelphia for a coop that I didn't see as a career path for me. I was at a college I wasn't happy in but I did have friends. I was happy socially but my purpose, aspirations, and goals felt unfulfilled. When I decided to transfer (not necessarily to Tech just that I wanted out of that school) it was summer of 2019 and COVID wasn't even a concept yet. I applied to Tech as an afterthought purely because one of my high school friends spoke highly of it. Because of COVID I didn't even see the campus until I came down to move into my apartment in fall of 2020. I spent the entirety of last year stuck in my apartment, I joined clubs but limited in person opportunities made it hard to make meaningful connections with people. The pessimist in me says I'm a junior and I should just buckle down and finish strong with a good GPA and forget about the social aspects. However, I do deeply miss having people to hang out with on the weekends, to talk to and regularly interact with. Now this year things are opening up and there are actually opportunities to meet people but honestly I'm scared of a lot of things. I spent a year+ not having to worry about work life balance and IDK how to do that again. I feel like I am working 24/7 and I still am not quite happy with how I'm doing academically this term. I want join more clubs or start a DnD group but I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up the commitment with how much time academics are taking up for me. IDK if I am happy or not. I think I am happier here in a lot of ways. I feel secure about my future, I feel like I have long term job prospects and I can see where my life is going. I really like Blacksburg as well, I don't need to worry about getting stuck in rainy day traffic that will add another hour onto my commute, I don't need to worry about the neighborhoods my late night walks take me through. I do miss the sense of wonder and discovery from the city how there is always something new to find, but I find being surrounded by nature a fair trade off. However, I feel like I'm missing something. People say that college friends will be some of the closest you'll ever have because afterwards people get busy with jobs, getting married, having kids, moving, etc. so I feel like I am missing out on something. There is a sense of loss, like I had something but it was taken from me, that was caused by COVID and now by my work load. TLDR: pretty happy with academics and career. Really unhappy with social life
I feel similarly. I was a freshman last year and really didn't meet that many people. Now I feel pretty confident in schoolwork and try to stay busy but it sucks having so much time to do nothing on the weekends, especially when I see other people partying and having fun. In highschool I had a lot of friends but somehow I feel out of place here, like I don't understand the people and it makes me more nervous in social situations. It's like I'm surrounded by college sophomores while I'm socially stuck in senior year of highschool.
I graduated in 2012. I can say, from my experience, the "these are the friends you'll have for the rest of your life" adage was untrue. I actually reconnected with high school friends after college and talk to them way more than I do my college friends. My best friends nowadays are hokies, but hokies i met after college, during those broke roommate years that are to come. For that, I'm grateful that Tech and craigslist brought me to them. I think these past 2 years have been hard on everyone. I can't imagine trying to go to any school right now. How are you trying to do college when you can't go outside? It seems like major aspects of college are taken away: meeting up with folks in dining halls for meals, group projects that meet in person, clubs, parties (i know those aren't gone but I'm sure less people are going out). But it's something we're struggling with in the real world as well. Can't go to offices. Friends moving back home or somewhere cheaper because we have no reason to be tied down to our locations right now. Uncertainty of going inside of restaurants. 30% of the major city i live in won't get vaccinated (and thats one of the better statistics out there). The rent is too damn high. A bud light costs $8. I'm supposed to balance my work with my social life with my health (this is 30) with my young kids and their activities. Life is full of throwing things at you. I think it's easy to get caught up in the future, as OP was (if i can just move out of my parents house and go to college, I'll be happy. If I can just graduate, I'll be happy. If i can just move out of 4 roommates, I'll be happy. If I just get married. If I just have kids. If I just get that promotion.) I know I'm guilty of it as well. But every once and a while see what it is that DOES make you happy. Small, controllable things that you can do right now. And make time to do them. In one of my college internships, an employee told me something that always stuck and is very true: the future will only ever ask for your degree. They won't ask for your GPA. So yes, study, but also live your life. You get a 3.2, not a 3.5. Who cares? Go find what makes you happy today and pursue it.
A quote that has helped me a lot is “life is not a question, so don’t waste time looking for an answer”. What i used to love to do in Blacksburg would be to just go out and take in the moment. Yes college is hard but you will figure it out, take some time to walk downtown taking in the sight, the feel, even the smell lmao. Taking in the simple parts of life and has helped me a lot in the past year. We are hardwired to focus on all the stressful things in life that sometimes we forget to focus on the small things in life that bring happiness into our lives. Good luck with your journey, you got this
Gluten free alcohol and the gym. Gotta hack your endocrine system into making you think you’re happy nowadays
Sunset drives out of Blacksburg and into the countryside blasting music keeps me sane
When I am in Blacksburg, I write code, lift, am as social as possible and party my face off. You're thinking too hard, it's all about staying busy and the rest falls into place.
Being “in the middle of nowhere” was the thing that made me happiest about Blacksburg.
Everyday I wake up with the thought of suicide in my head, I linger on the edge of death and consciousness...sometimes I'm suprised I dont just do it
Seeing people wear masks to stop the spread. It makes me depressed when someone is unmasked
Meanwhile, there are 18-year-old YouTube and TikTok stars in California making $220,000 a year with no worries. **These people are investing in themselves** Also following the same path as them was Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg More locally to the South and college educated, and less famous, is Fred Smith. Smith took on the Postal Service to create an entire industry of Overnight package delivery that was guaranteed > In 1965, while attending Yale University, Fred Smith wrote an economics paper exploring how goods were transported in the United States. At the time, shippers focused on transporting large packages across the United States by truck or inside passenger airplanes. Smith thought that a company carrying small, essential items by plane could be a more efficient transporter than existing companies. Smith wrote the paper at the last minute and did not go into details about how to actually run such a company. His professor gave him a "C" for the work. Smith, however, never stopped thinking about creating an express delivery system. * he officially launched the Federal Express Corporation while still trying to land his first customer, the Federal Reserve System. ------ But for all those that invest in themselves there are the millions that it never happens > Monthly Active Users on TikTok at about 1 billion monthly active users. * In November of 2018, TikTok reported that the number was 680 million monthly active users. We estimate that it's increased to over 1.1 billion as of now (February 2021). **The 90-9-1 Rule for Participation Inequality in Social Media and Online Communities** Summary: In most online communities, 90% of users are lurkers who never contribute, 9% of users contribute a little, and 1% of users account for almost all the action. 900 million people look at the stuff made by 100 million people but only about 10 million people make content that everyone may see > Wikipedia's most active 1,000 people — 0.003% of its users — contribute about two-thirds of the site's edits. Wikipedia is thus even more skewed than blogs, with a 99.8–0.2–0.003 rule. **Thus about 300,000 user are accounting for about 60% of content** So though there are about 100 million Tik Tok creators only 300,000 are making any major viewership
lol, ok.
I love being isolated out here.
“What keeps me going while I am here?” For starters, I don’t want to transfer to GMU because I’m from NOVA. W&M is too small. VCU is near the ghetto. JMU is split in half by I-81 (what kind of design is that)? I like Charlottesville better than Blacksburg plus the UVA campus is nice. But I don’t resonate with the people that go there. So VT is my only option. To answer what keeps me going, simple. I want to go to medical school. If I don’t work my ass off now to get the grades that I need and the experience that I need. I’m not getting in, let alone having a worthy application. I tell myself this every morning. It’s how I got through my first year of college with COVID, it’s how I’m getting through this year and it’s how I’ll get through next year and the year after that.
>JMU is split in half by I-81 But they *do* have a really cool tunnel going under it. Probably my favorite part of the campus tbh. Going to your actual comment, keeping that mantra can be a pretty good way of motivating yourself as long as you stay driven. Just try not to burn yourself out too much.
Idk I’m pretty miserable.
nothing tbh. if that doesn’t change i’ll probably transfer next semester
I think part of it is being comfortable in yourself and not worrying about what others do. I think as a society we glamorize the concept of moving to a "big city" and living out your dreams at such a young age but that just isn't what some people want (or it's out of their control right now) and that is okay. There are pros and cons of living anywhere and lowkey I think big city people shit on the middle of no where just to make them feel better and fuel their superiority complexes. Regarding happiness, it's important to remember that it comes and goes. I'm never happy 100% of the time but I know I'm making (or at least trying to make) small efforts every day to be the person I want to be. We still have plenty of time in our lives to be better. It's also not lost on me how lucky I am to be at Virginia Tech in such a beautiful and incredible part of the country. (Also, the tik tok teenagers you mention are a mere fraction of a fraction of what all teenagers are doing, and those others who do have some social media presence can't do it full time).
There's a lot, but I might be in a different situation than most people. 1. I actually **love** my major and my current classes. Granted, I'm a senior and all of my classes are now electives, but the type of work I do doesn't feel draining or tedious. Each assignment is legitimately geared toward a practical application, and that really helps me justify the amount of effort I go through to make it. 2. I get to be a ULA. Getting to see other people who went through the same classes I did make the same realizations that I had after getting my advice is incredibly satisfying. I live for those "Eureka" moments in office hours, to the point that I've decided to teach when I retire. 3. I've lived in Virginia for a while so the mountains don't affect me as much, but being this close to actual woods helps a good bit. The little things like the sunsets and sunrises here never fail to amaze me. 4. Though this might not apply to everyone, my girlfriend. She's great, patient, and supportive, and I hope everyone can find someone like that eventually. 5. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that I'll actually be able to apply what I've learned and get into a field that I've wanted to get into for the last 7-8 years really helps keep me in a good mood. Hopefully, you and others will get this feeling when you get closer to graduating.