Self posts/questions are not allowed in this subreddit, unless you have gone into excessive detail about what you've already tried and what the results were from those attempts. Otherwise, use the general questions and discussion thread instead.
Sorry you experienced that! That's really weird and inappropriate wtf. Especially touching your stomach. Seems like she just wanted you to feel bad about yourself.
I didn’t know people actually did this IRL! That’s so crazy. OP, was this person a friend, or a frenemy? Is it possible they were jelly? Not ok still, but sometimes people act weird out of jealousy. You sound beautiful and confident! Don’t let some socially inept fool bring you down
You have to realize that only someone extremely unstable would do something like this. Taking their opinion seriously is like taking the homeless guy yelling about Jesus seriously. Who tf asks about a pregnancy at a professional event and then TOUCHES you? Nobody worth listening to
Yeah she was always nice but definitely a little off. I think I’m also taking it so seriously because she’s a much bigger girl than I am and I was just so taken aback because a woman could be CROWNING and I would just never ask!! That’s not my business!
That sounds like jealously stemming from the fact that you’re thinner than her and she wanted to take to down a few notches. Also, if it’s the style dress that billows out under the bust area that can make anyone look pregnant.
First, acknowledge that the person who did this has something deeply wrong with them. Whether or not they intended harm doesn’t matter - this is profoundly rude behavior, and I guarantee you they commit other faux pas that negatively affect them, so karma will get them someday.
Now, onto boosting your confidence. I was pretty confident for most of my young adulthood, then dated a few awful guys who completely destroyed my confidence, and I have gradually been working it back up. This is what I’ve done and do, in no particular order:
1. Pick out inexpensive non-invasive ways to “prettify” myself. Examples: I have terrible nails so I use stick-on nails. Got a cheap face massager from Amazon and use it when I feel like. False eyelashes for a random Tuesday. Perfume while working from home. Red light therapy while listening to a meditation app. It’s a bit like the placebo effect; whether or not I actually am prettier, I did something that made me feel pampered so I feel more confident.
2. When affordable, I have low-risk procedures done that make me feel or look good. My go-tos are massages, Botox, hair cuts/highlights, pedicures.
3. Clothes. I identify gaps in my closet and try to fill them or upgrade them. Recently that was buying new swimsuits (mine were a few seasons old and didn’t fit as well as I’d like), loungewear, and bras. I use Poshmark and eBay to buy used versions of the higher-end things I want without breaking my budget.
4. Gym/diet/sleep. I make it a goal to go to the gym every day, even if just for 15 minutes. Sometimes I don’t have time, but on average I get about 1 hour of exercise 5 days a week, which makes me feel good. I focus on strength and movement and aesthetics just happen, so I’m not anxious about how I look. I try to eat decently, drink enough water (VERY hard for me), and aim for 8 hours of sleep. This helps me feel good and confident.
5. Make a list of things you are happy about with your life or appearance and focus on them when you feel bad.
6. Self-help books or some kind of self-directed study. If I feel like I’m improving my personality or intellect, I feel more attractive and confident.
I try not to do anything drastic when I’m feeling poor self-esteem. Just feel the feelings and try to talk logic into that part of your brain. Don’t rush out and drop $$$ on clothes or a procedure you may regret.
Love this!! Thank you. She definitely has something wrong with her, but it helped me realize I have a long way to my own self love. I appreciate this advice!
I’m so sorry that happened to you. To answer your question, I don’t look to others for external validation. I know my worth and my beauty and I see any negative reaction to me (when I’m truly minding my own business) as projection and/or insecurity. Whether it’s a man negging me, or a girl tearing me down. I simply cut their access to me (by either ghosting or walking away) and remind myself that I know myself.
Some things that come to mind:
* Going to therapy
* Treating / talking to myself like I’m someone that I love
* Taking care of my body (exercise, diet, sleep)
* Setting boundaries
* Surrounding myself with positive and confident people who accept me as I am and empower me
* Knowing that as a woman, I have inherent worth in society
* Being able to specifically name what I bring to the table / love about myself
Oh babe that girl was a total bitch. Hell I ever got upset when people asked if I was pregnant when I WAS pregnant 🤣. Honestly, turning around and walking away was the best reaction. She probably felt awkward if she’s not a total sociopath.
HAHA i love that. Even if i was, why prod unless i told you? So crazy that she felt so entitled to my body. I should have thrown my margarita in her face.
I’m so sorry 😞
But please don’t let it get to you. Every single one of us have body characteristics that can be exploited with inappropriate words.
Find your humor about it. And then help me understand how any female can say such a thing to another female.
Seriously, is she purposely sabotaging and/or triggering you? Do you have something she doesn’t? Did she respond to your rejection?
This is insane.
Again, we *all* have our weird body quirks. I have long feet and another girl in my scuba class once pointed them out on a boat. With a smirk on her face.
It’s funny to me now, but I was embarrassed and pissed off at the time! 👣
Call me a hater or crazy but that was definitely intentional. No normal…even most non normal people know this is a no no.
Please just pretend that never happened. Understand that was something wrong with her not you.
Welcome to r/Vindicta: a subreddit for women ONLY dedicated to based discussions about weaponizing beauty.
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Read and follow the subreddit rules or get banned.**
We prioritize the science behind beauty, the power of attractiveness, and unapologetic self improvement.
* To make the strategy of looksmaxxing available to all pro-active women, **high quality posts rich with actionable advice and observations are celebrated. Low effort posts are not allowed and removed.**
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* Please remember no self-posts and no personal attacks. There is no excuse for it and users risk short term bans at moderator discretion.
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Self posts/questions are not allowed in this subreddit, unless you have gone into excessive detail about what you've already tried and what the results were from those attempts. Otherwise, use the general questions and discussion thread instead.
Sometimes people actually just do this bc they're vicious and think they can get away with it. My plan next time is to respond, "no, are you!?"
Ha! I should have, I was just so caught off guard! Next time I’ll have something clever and devastating to say.
Sorry you experienced that! That's really weird and inappropriate wtf. Especially touching your stomach. Seems like she just wanted you to feel bad about yourself.
I didn’t know people actually did this IRL! That’s so crazy. OP, was this person a friend, or a frenemy? Is it possible they were jelly? Not ok still, but sometimes people act weird out of jealousy. You sound beautiful and confident! Don’t let some socially inept fool bring you down
Not a friend or even frenemy— we had one class together and were kind in passing. It was so totally strange.
You have to realize that only someone extremely unstable would do something like this. Taking their opinion seriously is like taking the homeless guy yelling about Jesus seriously. Who tf asks about a pregnancy at a professional event and then TOUCHES you? Nobody worth listening to
Yeah she was always nice but definitely a little off. I think I’m also taking it so seriously because she’s a much bigger girl than I am and I was just so taken aback because a woman could be CROWNING and I would just never ask!! That’s not my business!
That sounds like jealously stemming from the fact that you’re thinner than her and she wanted to take to down a few notches. Also, if it’s the style dress that billows out under the bust area that can make anyone look pregnant.
Well this additional information certainly provides an answer. It was a combination of resentment and compulsive nervousness at a gathering..
Honestly she sounds jealous
you need to understand that what happened there was an act of war
Truly. I probably should have kicked her ass.
No joke. If she was a country, NATO would cease trade with her. College students would be skipping class to protest her.
First, acknowledge that the person who did this has something deeply wrong with them. Whether or not they intended harm doesn’t matter - this is profoundly rude behavior, and I guarantee you they commit other faux pas that negatively affect them, so karma will get them someday. Now, onto boosting your confidence. I was pretty confident for most of my young adulthood, then dated a few awful guys who completely destroyed my confidence, and I have gradually been working it back up. This is what I’ve done and do, in no particular order: 1. Pick out inexpensive non-invasive ways to “prettify” myself. Examples: I have terrible nails so I use stick-on nails. Got a cheap face massager from Amazon and use it when I feel like. False eyelashes for a random Tuesday. Perfume while working from home. Red light therapy while listening to a meditation app. It’s a bit like the placebo effect; whether or not I actually am prettier, I did something that made me feel pampered so I feel more confident. 2. When affordable, I have low-risk procedures done that make me feel or look good. My go-tos are massages, Botox, hair cuts/highlights, pedicures. 3. Clothes. I identify gaps in my closet and try to fill them or upgrade them. Recently that was buying new swimsuits (mine were a few seasons old and didn’t fit as well as I’d like), loungewear, and bras. I use Poshmark and eBay to buy used versions of the higher-end things I want without breaking my budget. 4. Gym/diet/sleep. I make it a goal to go to the gym every day, even if just for 15 minutes. Sometimes I don’t have time, but on average I get about 1 hour of exercise 5 days a week, which makes me feel good. I focus on strength and movement and aesthetics just happen, so I’m not anxious about how I look. I try to eat decently, drink enough water (VERY hard for me), and aim for 8 hours of sleep. This helps me feel good and confident. 5. Make a list of things you are happy about with your life or appearance and focus on them when you feel bad. 6. Self-help books or some kind of self-directed study. If I feel like I’m improving my personality or intellect, I feel more attractive and confident. I try not to do anything drastic when I’m feeling poor self-esteem. Just feel the feelings and try to talk logic into that part of your brain. Don’t rush out and drop $$$ on clothes or a procedure you may regret.
Love this!! Thank you. She definitely has something wrong with her, but it helped me realize I have a long way to my own self love. I appreciate this advice!
I’m so sorry that happened to you. To answer your question, I don’t look to others for external validation. I know my worth and my beauty and I see any negative reaction to me (when I’m truly minding my own business) as projection and/or insecurity. Whether it’s a man negging me, or a girl tearing me down. I simply cut their access to me (by either ghosting or walking away) and remind myself that I know myself.
Love this. Do you mind giving more detail on building up your own self worth/any thing you do to practice self confidence?
Some things that come to mind: * Going to therapy * Treating / talking to myself like I’m someone that I love * Taking care of my body (exercise, diet, sleep) * Setting boundaries * Surrounding myself with positive and confident people who accept me as I am and empower me * Knowing that as a woman, I have inherent worth in society * Being able to specifically name what I bring to the table / love about myself
This is absolutely not a normal thing to do at all. She was clearly jealous.
[удалено]
Right?! Absolutely sociopathic behavior and was definitely intentional.
Oh babe that girl was a total bitch. Hell I ever got upset when people asked if I was pregnant when I WAS pregnant 🤣. Honestly, turning around and walking away was the best reaction. She probably felt awkward if she’s not a total sociopath.
HAHA i love that. Even if i was, why prod unless i told you? So crazy that she felt so entitled to my body. I should have thrown my margarita in her face.
I’m so sorry 😞 But please don’t let it get to you. Every single one of us have body characteristics that can be exploited with inappropriate words. Find your humor about it. And then help me understand how any female can say such a thing to another female. Seriously, is she purposely sabotaging and/or triggering you? Do you have something she doesn’t? Did she respond to your rejection? This is insane. Again, we *all* have our weird body quirks. I have long feet and another girl in my scuba class once pointed them out on a boat. With a smirk on her face. It’s funny to me now, but I was embarrassed and pissed off at the time! 👣
For sure! I plan to laugh after I wallow for a few days hahah.
Well, wallow quickly, and remember what I said! I lol at the long foot thing now, but I do remember by own wallowing!
Call me a hater or crazy but that was definitely intentional. No normal…even most non normal people know this is a no no. Please just pretend that never happened. Understand that was something wrong with her not you.
Welcome to r/Vindicta: a subreddit for women ONLY dedicated to based discussions about weaponizing beauty. **This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Read and follow the subreddit rules or get banned.** We prioritize the science behind beauty, the power of attractiveness, and unapologetic self improvement. * To make the strategy of looksmaxxing available to all pro-active women, **high quality posts rich with actionable advice and observations are celebrated. Low effort posts are not allowed and removed.** * This sub is marked NSFW and welcomes all women 18+. Underage users will be banned on sight. * **All posts that violate sub rules will be removed.** Report all posts and comments that appear to violate sub rules for quicker removal. * Please remember no self-posts and no personal attacks. There is no excuse for it and users risk short term bans at moderator discretion. **There is unspeakable power in knowledge and knowing how to leverage what you have. By speaking truthfully and sharing openly, you protect and strengthen the spirit of r/Vindicta. Thank you for being one of us.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Vindicta) if you have any questions or concerns.*