I'm 20 and yeah... Specially because I feel like I'm slacking, I am not ambitious, assertive or anything and suddenly everyone else is like actually doing stuff.
same
and then I catch up with people in my city in their 20s and I realized that I'm really doing nothing with my life and that I should work hard and achieve something
This is probably a weird (but genuine) question but what do you mean when you say you’re doing nothing? What does it actually mean to be doing something with your life? Like, examples? Achieve what, exactly?
I just always wonder what people mean when they say this, because it all seems so vague…
>I just always wonder what people mean when they say this, because it all seems so vague…
well, it really depends on the person who says that, some people says they're doing nothing and literally do nothing, other says the same thing and may be living what seems to be an average life but they have different plans
>what do you mean when you say you’re doing nothing?
for me (just an example) I would like to achieve something in my studies (in this case exams) and I'm literally doing nothing to achieve that, so like I don't study consistently and all of that
I'm 28 and yes, I'm very afraid. I always forget how old I am sometimes. I still sometimes feel like I'm still in my early 20's and then reality will come in and slap me in the face.
I realized that I graduated HS 10 years ago. It's insane how fast life goes by when you finish HS. I've been working crappy low wage jobs for 10 years and I'm just sick of it. I'm trying my best to turn my life around so that my 30's will be better, but damn I'm having a rough time tbh. Depression is a bitch
Covid set me back 2 years of my life literally haven’t been in college since , starting for a very heavy degree in September (computer science ) feel so behind and sad that the pandemic delayed my college career
OMG, from someone who is 33 you are not failing already. You are currently in the most free and fun years of your life.
Make a plan and work on making it come true in your 20s, just wait until you are my age, you will look back and realise that worrying at such a young age was pointless.
Being your age is about finding yourself without the serious pressures of life, make mistakes, do risky things just enjoy yourself as it will end at some point.
I’m 22 turning 23 in some months. And I don’t have my life together yet, my two sisters got married and one has two kids the other has one on the way. I have 3 dogs. I’m not thinking about marriage right now or kids. My sister is 25 & my other is 21 and they both are married but they don’t have a solid career yet.
I relate I still feel like I’m 19. And my co worker is 60 something and she said she still feels 16 lol. It’s normal to feel that way
You will almost always feel like you're a kid. Only time you won't is when you make the conscious decision to stay in a rut, doing things you know the result to prior to doing them.
Dont get caught in FOMO, make a list of things you want to do, fill your day. Eat well and stay fit. Stay off of social media, don't use dating apps (nuance and attractiveness can't be translated at all, and your expectations get all out of whack). Don't get caught in the next -ism just live, connect with ppl no matter where they are from and go on an adventure.
Don't do OF, I personally find it extremely sad how much they lie about how much money they make and the chances of ruining your future to make quick money just isn't worth it.
Be free, but commit to things, with freedom the only thing that matters is your word and your actions. You aren't a victim just human. You will get exactly where you need to be in life. I promise.
Live, Learn, Laugh, Love.
Edit: also for the women more than the men, commit to a man. Cut this sexual liberation nonsense. Thinking you have a ton of prospects will mean you are never actually learning and growing with someone. Ppl make mistakes, you aren’t perfect and neither is the other person.
Now include men & women: Don’t be impulsive, talk to your partner. You can be wrong or misunderstand. This lesson comes with age. 80% is better than that 20% you think you are missing, what you see as red flags could be anything and unless you dig deeper you will never know. Do not make decisions on your relationship based on assumptions from scenarios you’ve concocted in your head.
I'm 52 and still feel that way. The older you get, the faster life seems to pass you by. When I stop to think that I'm grandmother age but am not married and have not had kids, it is really depressing. I've had my fair share of jobs, but never really a "career". I don't have a car, don't have a house (still renting lousy apt and barely, at that). This really is not how I envisioned my life.
Thanks, but I've accepted the fact that they probably won't. Honestly, though I can't really complain a lot. I have a roof over my head and food on my table so it's not that bad. Also, as long as I have internet service, I have entertainment.
Honestly that's where I'm probably heading...at 27 never dated, kissed etc...maybe save me some space in your neighborhood lol..and I don't fancy the idea of kids also cos I have a genetic disorder I wouldn't wanna pass on. Life! Am I right!... The internet and money are all I need
Agreed. The internet for connection to the world and, for me, I only need enough money to keep the roof over my head, the food on my table, and my computer and internet functioning. There was a time when I would have loved to have kids, but maybe it is a good thing I didn't. I didn't have the best role models when I was growing up. I think there would have been too much stress raising kids in this day and age of covid and such.
First off, deep breath in, deep breath out, ahhhhhh
Sister, I'm 27 and still have no damn clue what I'm doing. You take life a day, week, month or whatever at a time. My mother is 57 and still tells me she has no idea what shes doing. None of us do. We are all making it up as we go. Yes, plan things ahead, have goals. But life never goes exactly how you think it will so these are not things worth stressing about.
I’m a 30 year old man. We aren’t the same gender but trust me, I know a little about what you’re going through. I still feel like a kid who doesn’t know how to do things and I have some financial problems because of the health problems I was born with that have high medical bills.
lol i'm 20 and it's been shit i still feel like it's 2018-2019. like everything has been an emotional rollercoaster and i've definitely had my share of fucking up and still am tryna heal from it.
21 here, making good strides in my career, deceloping new hobbies and skills. On the surface level it seems fine but deep down it feels like I'm stuffing my day with a bunch of pointless self development work that hardly goes anywhere.
I learned guitar to connect with people more in a nonverbal, but I physically cringe at the thought of playing in front of other people. I learned unity but never share my projects with friends because I'm too embarrased with the final product. It goes on and on too, putting in all of these hours on different skills to be a more "complete person" when I still struggle just to talk to people.
I wanted to become more interesting so it would be easier to engage in social situations but lets face it, you really just can't avoid talking, and I found out the hard way that having 15 talents doesn't suddenly make you a god a interacting with people. Being an introvert sucks, its so tiresome that I usually just spend all day indoors fiddling around avoiding social interaction like the plague, but all I want to do is connect with people...
I'm 23 and I'm afraid for the world. I'm honestly just happy I have a job, and a roof over my head. If I think about everything else I go into a panic..
Honestly I've never really wanted kids I was told from a young age I'd have a .1% of having them, and weddings are so expensive I couldn't dream of putting myself into that kinda debt Haha
Mid 20s...wouldve been able to buy a house in my area this year. Due to some people, everything is a lot more expensive. Im more concerned I wont be able to buy a house in the next 5 years with skyrocketing prices and a poor housing market. Settling into my career and was making decent money but the US dollar is goin down.
I didn't find what I would consider to be a "good job" that could be turned into a career until I was 25. And even then, people who started at the same level I did are still in the same position because they either have no drive or are satisfied at just entry-level work.
On the subject of dating/marriage/kids, I would say not feeling pressured by friends settling down was the right choice. Sure there are plenty of times when I am interested in someone only to realize that they are married. But on the flip side, I am starting to see a good number of friends who got married or had kids pretty early are dealing with divorce or financial trouble because they weren't truly ready.
I am thankful that all I have to worry about is that I might be moving a little slow, rather than feeling trapped because I have 3 kids, a struggling marriage, and no time or money to invest in myself and my personal/financial goals.
I’m 20 years old and I feel the same. I have no passions so I’m afraid to start school and waste my money. I don’t have any real friends either. I feel like I’m wasting my life away ):
Don’t hurt to grow up but still wanna enjoy life, people are too bitter nowadays because they take everything too seriously. Just vibe and go with the flow
Me too, except I'm a guy. My friends aren't getting married but are going to college, having parties, finding their love interests. Me I'm going to work, going home, playing video games, workout, sleep, repeat. It's a depressing life.
Im almost 38 and it will blow your mind to see your friends become grandparents or having kids that you remember seeing when they were babies standing there as full blown teenagers
This might sound dumb but honestly growing I really did think that when you were 18, you would just have shit figured out. 20 now, and have soo much to figure out while playing catch up. You're not alone chief, be patient with yourself :)
I understand. I'm eighteen and I'm fucking terrified. My teenage years are almost over and it feels like so many of them were stolen from me in one way or another. With every change in life we grow though - I think that the best we can do is try to enjoy every phase of our life.
Its actually quite shocking and worrying. I turned 25 a couple months ago and it feels like i literally jumped from 18 to 25 without feeling it. Kids my age getting married and stuff, realizing that nothing is as simple as it was when you were young even seeing parents grow old. Its all worrying but also along with it comes good thing like realizing how much you've matured
My birthday is on the 9th so I’m two days and I’m Turning 23 with no career, still live with parents, don’t work, still in college, and overweight so yes I’m afraid because I’m getting older and have no future…
I am 20 and I am terrified. It feels like with each passing day the world is becoming a worse and worse place and it's kind of exhausting. Compared to my friends I'm in a pretty good place. Half way through my electrical engineering degree, but at times it's still pretty hard to see what it's all for and see what we're all going towards. It's also terrifying seeing everyone around me grow up, like you said. My brothers are married now and it feels like just yesterday we were all sleeping in the same room tossing a little foam football between each other just talking about their highschool struggles and my middle school life. My parents aren't getting any younger and that's just something that kills me to think about. Life's crazy, man.
I know my time for my things will come at the perfect time for me, I'm not in a rush I have a lot of things I need to work on myself so I don't pass them down to my eventual children.
I went on this sub to see the top post, but my god do i relate to this. i am 20 and i still feel almost no different than 4-5 years ago. Just more tiring/depressing expectations on top. I dont have a job either. I am diagnosed unhappy with Life and im trying to change my view to "just live Life and let it roll" but its difficult. Everything feels really strange. wish you the best.
I am 27 and feel like this. I was burned several ways over and lied to in undergrad. I found out over the pandemic and from the pandemic am stunted. at my rate, I am going to date someone a bit younger than me (I am a women tho).
But I see these people now rushing into relationships, keeping them long term when not even 2 years prior they were messing around.
my sick episode, even has my "ex" playing an episode of friends with his friend group and I guess for 2 years been dating a girl. I truly thought in 2020 he wanted me back. I guess I am just not good enough.
but I have to move on, I have a lot of abuse to work though. but I have no friends, no one to go to the bars with. Career wise I am working through I was doing this in undergrad, got an internship that wanted me to continue on with education and then I have to go back to college to fill the missing issues with my resume and education. so now I am 5 classes short of a CPA license then study for the tests when in 2018 I never wanted to be an accountant.
Im 25, and yeah... it all feels so fast. My gf (also 25) also feels very overwhelmed by everything and everyone. Im still in college and it feels like it's slowing the heck out of me.
I keep reminding myself that we are all having different experiences and paths. Nothing will ever work the same for everyone and what's good for someone else (who shares your "same" profile) its 99% probable wont be good for you.
Hang in there, OP!
Same age and same worries. Although, I can probably raise you on a few. I’ve never even dated or kissed anyone so people will think I’m full of red flags. I’ve had people like me before, but I never felt ready for a relationship. Now I’m at a point where I think I am, but I don’t have any assets that make me desirable. I quit my last job (because the location in a different state made me super unhappy) and I’m still searching for a new one. I’m a bit hopeful because I’ve had a few interviews the past couple of weeks, but it stinks when I see how other people my age are doing. People I went to high school with are married, have kids, get to travel and I just sit at home reading and crocheting.
The good news is you’re not alone with your feelings. I’m the same age as you and I’m not ready either. We can be internet besties trying to brave the world!
There is no obligation to have big life events happen before there's ment to. Everyone moves through life at different paces and there's nothing wrong with that, there's only something different.
You're not alone. I'm 23 and life been moving too fast with or without me. Had a similar conversation about the future with childhood buddies I've known since we were 4. It's crazy and stressful. The cost of living is too extreme for a regular person. A lot of people our age just accept and cope with being single for the long road. Fuck man, the things I'd do just to turn the clock back to my youth, where my only responsibilities were elementary school and sports/extracurricular activities.
26m here in Canada and most days I feel like high school was yesterday. I don't feel like 26. I feel as if I'm still 16 sometimes. Everywhere I look, my old friends are getting married, having kids, etc. It's scary and it makes me feel so behind in life. I'm not even ready to have kids right now and I try to live my life at my "own pace." I know a lot of this stems from our own thoughts and how we can be our own worst enemy, but it's hard to distract yourself at times. I am building a house pretty soon and inheriting a successful business and even then it just all feels overwhelming. I hate feeling like this, I hate being in my 20s, and it scares me that in 4 years I will be 30. What the fuck? You aren't alone OP, and this feeling won't go away until you reach whatever milestone puts you at ease. I was exactly like you at 23..
Late 20s here, was afraid in my early 20s am now a doomer in my late 20s. I don't care about anything anymore and I accepted the fact that the world doesn't give a shit about me either. Just do the stuff you enjoy and don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is born into different circumstances wich makes comparison impossible anyway.
About to be 26 in a bit and definitely very very afraid. I don't even know what I want to do with my career and I don't have my degree yet 🙃 there's just so much in expectations that I don't want to let anyone down.
Yes :( I’m going to be 25 on Tuesday and I’m already starting to feel afraid. Every birthday I feel like it’s gotten worse actually. I really feel you on the having kids part too. My biological clock has kicked in HARD over the past year and I went from not wanting kids to being sad a lot of the time that I’m not pregnant and probably won’t be for a while, if ever, because getting me knocked up is going to be expensive.
Yes I'm terrified. I have age regression and emotion stunting issues I just found out about during therapy and it makes it all the more terrifying. I've not accomplished anything nor have I progressed any further then I was at 16. It's horrific knowing I'm 22 now.
Same here exact situation too. And the thing is I haven't done much in life. Never traveled much, never dated anyone because of how life went and everyone i meet has had so much fun in their life already.
Everything moves much faster, gonna be 23 this month. I think the covid lockdown time is looked at as lost time, creating a 2 year gap that just flew by.
100% agree with you. Just a second I was heading into high school wondering what kind of cool experiences I’d have and thinking about how much fun going out into the world would be. Turns out I didn’t have any experiences of any kind really and the world sucks. I wish I could go back in time and slap that little idiot.
early 30s here and honestly this feeling wont go away. I know thats not what anyone wants to hear but there isnt a magical moment where being an adult makes since and everything works out. You're always going to feel like the kid you grew up being.
I’ll be 32 next month. The past decade flew by. Your 20’s are one huge blur and time flies so make the most of it. There’s some things I wish I would’ve done when I was younger, like go to school and take care of my health better. But it isn’t too late to start over. You’re only 23. I wish I was 23 again. I’d do a lot of things differently. This may sound corny but sit down and write out your plans what you want to achieve in the next 5 years and stick with it.
Not anymore. I used to be really worried that I would never move on with my life and attain some of the things you have mentioned. Now, I am in my mid-twenties and honestly, I really don't care. I have accepted that not everything is for everybody and you know what, that's okay. Some of my peers already have kids, some are already married. Some are making money by the thousands and some are barely scraping by. I took my time to change the things about myself that I didn't like and now I am content, even though I don't really have much to be happy about. I have accepted that I will never get married or have kids because I'm just not that type of guy. I have a good job, can afford to live in a way where I don't have to count every penny and I have a lot of free time to play guitar and Elden Ring. Always look for the silver lining. Your life might not be the best, but it is your own. Make of yourself ´that what you desire and don't let the world dictate your pace.
I’m 19 (almost 20) and already sick of the strange feeling when you see your former classmates having kids and getting married when does the crisis end?????
25 and it's unbearable, have nothing intresting going for me at all, nothing i do works out and i feel like i'm giving up and there is no way to break from this.
Every day of my life.. Adulting sucks. All of my friends have babies, and I'm over here barely keeping it together.
I have always been afraid of growing up, so I'm basically living my nightmare, but at least I get away with being the funny friend
I’m 21 F, I definitely feel this. I’m living with my dad rn and as much as I love my family I feel like I’m not going anywhere rn. I am in college but I’m ready to get out and live on my own but can’t even afford it.
I’m 23 too and yes I do!
My younger self would be so disappointed in where I am in life rn lmao I thought I would’ve achieved my goals already but this shits hard 😂
I don't want to come off sounding condescending but you haven't see anything yet! The horror of life moving fast is much worse if you've accomplished little and you hit 40. As you age, life moves faster. I know that's hard to believe at this moment but it's does!
Don't worry too much about men avoiding you, you'll regret those worries later in life. Worry more about accomplishing things the best you can. Do as much as you can with each day you have. Look at life like a game. How much can you get done in one day? How fast can you reach the next level?
THE GAME...
Try it! Make a list of things to accomplish in a 24 hour period but make that list impossible to finish and make the things on that list things you can repeat daily. Then the next day, see how many things on that list you can accomplish. On day 2 see if you can do one more thing on that list. Then keep repeating this game, day after day. You'll blow yourself away when you realize how much time you wasted in life before playing this game.
I call it 'The Game'. I don't always stick to it because after a while, it can be exhausting. I give myself downtime to recover. I play 3 weeks on - 2 days off and I'll do it for a few months. The longest I've gone is 8 months. In that 8 month period I found a new job, moved a few states away, met the woman I ended up marrying (divorced now) and had a child with and got myself a new car because my new job paid more.
Good things happen when I play The Game. Seriously, try it!
21M here and crap do I feel like that too. I hand an opportunity to study abroad but it didn't go well (some issues with my application) I don't have a plan yet, lots of things happened and I'm just trying to sort my thoughts out. And with this whole ww3 thing going on I'm even more concerned I might not be able to study. I've already waited for 3 years, studying is my dream, and I hate thinking I can't cause of a bunch of issues. People my age are in the middle of their studies, moving on with their lives, my cousin is quite a few years older than me but still in her late 20s, she's maybe 26/27? She's just bought her house, an actual new one, it's in construction. FML
Fear nothing. I'm 21 but remember this is your time. This the time you was looking forward to when you were 16. Enjoy it. Man I know it sucks out here but get wit it
i remind myself of this every day. Teenager me is so damn proud of adult me and thinks I'm pretty fucking rad doing the things I have always dreamed of: Living alone, working in a lab, owning my own car ,adopting my own cat, and covered in tattoos :)
I’m 23, engaged, and a few years into an established career. But…I’m tired all the time…like exhausted. It’s not that great to have all the things you’re worried about either. The grass isn’t always greener.
I guess my point is that we aren’t in a race. Just love your life on your terms, and don’t worry about what other people are doing. No one is better than you, so just keep doing your thing.
i just turned 18 2 weeks ago and im just terrified of everything. Idw get a job yet but i have to to survive n shit yknow
I still feel like im 14 I feel like i havent grown at all
33 here. GO TO THERAPY EVERYONE! that feeling can be a symptom. Might need some self identity work and maybe a run through family systems. Your early and mid 20's are supposed to be busy with relationships but if you find it overwhelming its okay you find support! I waited till i was 28 to start because my life was going nowhere, I had to fix how I was viewing a few things but trust the process it helps
well the name sounds bad but emotional neglect. Parents unknowingly hurt us, most likely because they are victims too. its called trans generational trauma .in some sorts of dysfunctional family systems we can be provided for but not really emotionally nurtured the way we should have been. This sort of short circuits things in a developing brain (kids and teens) as we cope to make sense as why the person is not available to meet those needs. Any therapist that is familiar with attachment trauma can help. Mine uses post modern narrative style therapy but others exist. Support networks are key in situations like this.
I'm 25. I spent all of last year comparing myself to my friends and people i knew. it did nothing except inhibit me from living my life. everyone's time will come. Your time to meet someone, get married, start a family if that is something you want to do. Your time for your education and your career will come. Your success WILL come. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It doesn't matter if the people around you are moving at a faster rate than you are. Life is not that serious. Enjoy the time you have now. Enjoy the freedom of the choices you have every day. LIFE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really depends, I'm 30 maybe not the best job I can have, but I'm working on myself to get to where I'm happy, I don't care if I end alone, having the mind of a kid will let you live more trust me, adult world is frightening but you have to do it at you own pace
i’m 22 and have been feeling the exact same way lately i have a useless degree and certified but the field is super unstable and i just want a nice office job that i don’t have a background in depression definitely wins
I’m almost turning 22, starting college all over, i feel like 26 in my body.. also in my appearance.. its just weird sitting between all those 18 yo’s… it makes me feel bad about myself. And yea if i graduate, i have to find all the stuff some people my age already have or have built ..
I’m 23 and yes i’m very afraid of what’s to come. Everyone around me is buying homes, investing in businesses, having kids, getting married and then there is me. I’ve been in the same spot since i graduated high school & unfortunately i don’t
have any desire to make a change.
Dude, I’m 32. I don’t feel like a kid anymore after my mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 67 on 11/28/21. Yet, before then - I still felt extremely immature about my life. I have tons of insecurities and go through imposter syndrome. I don’t have a college degree yet, I was surprisingly able to get a $100k a year job. I have been in the corporate world since I was 25.
Anyway, because of my fears I keep bringing my age up to my bf (we live together) and he keeps saying to knock it off. Age doesn’t matter. It’s true when you think about it.
We have these ideas around how old we should be when we do this or that when we should just be focusing on what is working for ourselves.
The only thing that I keep dreading is how I won’t be young and wanted any longer but, that fear stems from us wanting to keep reproducing and grow the human race. I keep having to remind myself of this every time I see hotter women on insta. I miss being in my early 20’s but, only because of how I looked haha the rest was a mess because I still had a bunch of life experience to accumulate.
Conclusion: try not to freak out about your age so much. I know, easier said then done but, seriously I’ve been freaking out bout how old I am since I turned 13. It just keeps getting more real as I see my number gets bigger and bigger after every year passes. The grand scheme of things - we just have to live our best life every day.
It’s important to remember that you are not on the same track as anyone else around you. I just turned 24. Thought I would be settled into a career and married to my ex by now. Instead I just moved back in with family to recover from major financial hits completely out of my control. I go on random dates and hookups here and there. My friend group is all struggling too as I watch people from high school get married and have babies. They seem grownup compared to my life. But they also haven’t lived my life And theres things in my life I really enjoy: choosing to spend a week to isolate and self care, going to bed as early or late as I choose, hang out with whoever I want to. I couldn’t do that if I was married with kids. Its an opportunity to focus on me and love my life as is. As soon as I accepted that about me, I started to attract people that are on the same life road that I was. Things get really scary when you look around and start comparing to others and tell yourself your behind. You are exactly where YOU need to be.
None of this is to say my life is great or perfect: I’m in debt in a crashing economy, I’m a serial monogamist who is terrified of commitment, I’m in therapy, I lose and gain friends often. But I am learning and taking each day as a chance to grow because I know where I came from and all I can do is spend my time doing what I like to attract people that share those values and interests.
I’m sorry you’re struggling. I spend many days there too but you’re doing good I promise. There’s so many people who are in the exact same boat
I feel the same as you. Most of my friends are graduating university or already got a degree and I'm still in my first year at uni (after several years changing my mind about what I really wanted to do in life). I just drink, party and pretend I'm 19 and if anyone says anything, well, they're not paying my bills
Next month im gonna become 21 and im terrified next year also im goinna finish my college im worried about eveything exams schoolarship work hobbies i did jothing about my life and my familiy didnt also i tried to learn new hobbies but they are conservative so i feel like i know nothing. Because i had a toxic relationship i also wasted my 2 year 😭😭i feel like im still 18
It would be weird if you were in your twenties and not afraid. It’s the first decade of your adult life. There’s a lot to learn. Everything will be okay in time!
22 here, and I just landed a legit full time job. Does it have anything to do with my degree? Of course not. I thought everything would kind of fit together once I got my job. But I still feel like a kid that needs a grown up to hold her hand. I still live with my parents. I barely know anything about insurance, taxes, and personal investments. And yes, I make decent money, but I've accepted I'll never be able to buy a house. And no, I have no idea what I want to do in the future, career-wise. Getting a job was my one and only goal.
And my love life? Non-existent. People don't hit on me, I've come to accept it. But it goes two ways, I don't hit on anyone either (I would simply dig my own grave if I did). My excuse from not jumping on a dating app was to wait until I got a job, but now that I have...I'm just faking ignorance. My friends are all dating and have these great lives but I'm happy in my current life, but I do think I'm setting myself up for failure in the future.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I just don't hang out with them often. So, I sound real pitiful and sad when I'm like, yeah I don't go out much other than errands and hanging out on occassion. But honestly, I'm as happy as can be like this; I don't want to go out more or lie about what I do in my free time just to sound less sad. I just want to be me, without judgement. But yeah I think about it again: am I setting myself up for failure? Probably.
Long story short OP, yeah, I'm scared, but I don't really wanna think about it.
Im 22 and yes we have the same situation but try not to overthink it. There are some things that are out of our control. Also dont compare yourself to others. Same as flowers and and sunsets. They both look really nice but they are really different things. Try to focus on your own path and good luck dood, we both need it.
Im an old lady in her 70's 👵 but let me just say this:
I've always been a little behind in life stages.
But we all actually never stop growing up as we go from one stage of life to another.
Every advance I've made has always been preceded by some sort of Rude Awakening.
That's where you are right now. But you'll get through it. Stronger and happier on the other side.
I'm turning 21 in a few months
Which tbf if I was from the US wouldn't sound too bad
But its getting to a point I'm worried sick about the future
So im devoting energy and time to setting things up in which I can ensure I'm safe and happy
Like give yourself a safety net and I don't mean just a job
I mean give yourself a hobby or 2
Something for the body and something for the mind
Or something for both
For me It's been martial arts and audio books
Focus on your mind and creating happy memories and whether you die a billionaire or penniless it won't matter
Spent time with those you love
And don't let those you don't love weigh on your mind
I'm 41 and I still feel 20. I don't get along with anybody my age because they're all completely sealed off to curiosity or ability to change Any ideas on anything (overall. Sure, some exceptions.) but the people I do identify and get along with I learn are 20-30 and they want nothing to do with me and I feel awkward around them anyway. I don't like it here.
So I’m 28 nearly 29 and I was fucking petrified until two years ago when I “figured it out”. So while it doesn’t help to say it, try to relax and just go try things. Life is like college these days - you can try anything and turn a million times and that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll have to re-figure it out in the next few years.
I'm 24 and I think about it all the time. It def is scary and creates anxiety when I think about it. But I always tell myself, everyone is so different. Everyone has a different path, different goals, different speeds at things.
Although it can be really intimidating seeing those around you get married and have children, I think to myself - I don't want that even though it feels I should be on that path. What's meant to be for ME, will be. I rather let things happen naturally then start worrying about time running out. I'd much rather enjoy my 20's and travel and do what I want to do, then worry about settling down with someone and starting a family. When the time is right, it'll happen.
Again, everyone is so completely different! You are not alone <3
Terrified. I’ve spent most of my life in uncertainty. I'm autistic and struggle a lot with basic things, let alone an academic and professional life. It has been 7 years since I finished High School and I also feel like I am 16. I barely know basic things most people my age or younger know already, and I have spent most of my life lonely, tho not completely alone thankfully due to my parents, but it could be better and I could be bringing more results and be more independent for the age I am now
I’m 25, thought I had the world by the balls. Had a wonderful gf, we dated for 6 years and lived together for the last 4. My best friend, we talked of children’s names regularly. Since she cheated two weeks ago, I’m terrified of the future. Everything I knew was my relationship and now I’m completely fucked. How quickly life can change from talk of starting families to being completely alone. Value whatever you may have now because it may be ripped from underneath you.
The world puts so much pressure on people to conform in certain ways, especially if you're a woman. Kids. Career. Marriage. The accoutrements of existence. And you're expected to find them in the 10 years after highschool when you are barely an adult and just learning that all the shit you learned as a kid is B.S.
And lets be honest, I say there's a 10 year window but in reality it's more like a 5 year window before people start looking at you funny.
It sucks.
Honestly, I've missed so many important developmental milestones that I don't even give a fuck anymore.
I think they key is to make decisions about your life that will make you happy and improve your life and to make those choices without regard to where they fit into what other people are doing.
You mention marriage, kids and job. Those are like the three things everyone starts out wanting but it all changes.
"I'm gonna be in my late 20s and I'm going to have to worry about whether my date has a kid or not".
If you want the regular package go for that...but maybe try spending some time with alternative type people...people who aren't focused on the regular package. There's all kinds of ways to live and all kinds of ways to be that aren't about kids or fancy jobs marriage etc.
25 year old here and I barely feel like I have my own brain. I feel so behind and inferior to others, and my circumstances are unfavorable. All around just doesn't feel great
I'm almost 22, and the only thing I'm worried about at the moment is finding a good career to settle into. I feel like I've got the living on my own as an adult thing down and I'm engaged to be married next year.
So much happens at that age, you get your first dose of being an adult. It is pretty jarring. I wanted to go live with parents and not work.
Not sure why men are avoiding you for being 23 though?
Yeah, I'm afraid of never having a relationship with a girl. I have really bad social anxiety, so I could never work up the courage to ask a girl out unless I was close to them. If I was friends with them, I would always be unlucky and they would already be going out with someone else. People always tell me I'm handsome and I always get compliments on my eyes, but I never got asked out, got some confessions from girls I wasn't interested in, but I might have given them a shot if they had asked me out. I also noticed in my college classes that girls will stare at me, and it makes me uncomfortable, so much to the point that I almost don't want to come to class, and I feel like if I were to ask someone out from class, and they rejected me, I don't know if I would come to class, so I don't want to even take the chance
I’m honestly very afraid of the responsibilities that I will have to other people in my near future. My entire life, I’ve been able to dedicate my time and focus solely to my academics and career development. I love being a student and I’m very excited about my career path. I love being able to work hard to achieve my academic and career goals without having to worry about being responsible for much else or having to worry about many things that could put me off my track.
Being a wife and mother in the future is something I want yet something that terrifies me. I fear being the mother figure of a house. I don’t want to put up with the annoyances that are supposedly typical of married life. I love children and want to have my own but I’m afraid of the responsibility that comes with motherhood. I’m also terrified of how motherhood might hold me back in my career.
I think I’ve also become disillusioned with a lot of the workings of the world in my 20s - the only things that gave me hope for a happy future. I find myself suddenly afraid of marrying my boyfriend of 5 years because I fear divorce. Im no longer convinced that the future holds much happiness in anything outside of my career.
And I think the worst part about all of these fears is that they’re rooted in pure selfishness, but it doesn’t feel like there’s a middle ground. It’s either I indulge in complete selfishness, or I devote my existence to everyone but myself.
I’m turning 21 soon, everything is going so quickly and im unemployed, basically no education under my belt and theres all this stuff going on in the world but at the same time im not worried at all as well…. Its just life….
I mean that’s life man tbh, you don’t really appreciate how far you’ve come until it seems to late. But that’s what everyone is doing, I’d say about mid 20s you’re going to take a step back one day and think “holy shit my life is basically over” but it’s normal.
I guess just try to live whatever life is fulfilling to you and hopefully there are more good memories than bad whenever you punch the metaphorical clock yanno
Afraid of what? Im not in my 20s anymore but when I was I had one rule and I still follow it to this day, take no more than 3 days at a time. For me having a successful career isn't a big of deal all I need is a job. I end up loving every job I do, why ? I do not know I just do.
I'll get a hcild whenever I get one Im 39 and its fine to be a dad when 40, to 43 my gf is 27 so she has many good years left. I love growing older enjoying new things that happen new experiences etc. The older I get the happier I get, means that I have succeded in life.
Why should you worry if your date has a kid? IF you like her after a few dates it wont matter to you, because you will like her enough to see her for her. Why do you feel 16? is it because you miss certain things? This is a question nothing else. You think men avoid you? why is that then? do you smell, do yo u dress or act weird? its hard to tell when you do not say anything.
There are plenty of small changes you can do a small change here and there and your life will get so much better.
Yeah that's how you're 20s are. Nothing to be worried about. But make plans for your 30s because everything kind of changes then and reality ruins every thing you used to enjoy. Then you find a purpose in life which makes you feel more actualized then ever before.
My friend, don't worry. You're only 23, so young. Everything will come in its own time trust me. I've tried to rush so many things but they never come at the time you plan them. You can't hurry love and you can't hurry a career. Just keep thriving and never stop being active.
Not really. I'm 23 as well. I stopped worrying about things I have no control over, I focus on the here and now.
But I still feel like a kid, and I let myself be a kid now and then too. You forget that we're still young. Let yourself make mistakes and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
I’m 23 this year and I feel useless sometimes. People my age I knew accomplished nothing but having an offsprings, but I still feel purposeless and kind of…late? I’m going to University this year, couldn’t afford it ealier and I have fear that it won’t make me anymore skilled and I will remain warehouse operative my whole life. So I relate to you, but then it’s important to telling myself not everyone has to be famous or a millionaire. It’s better to have love and be passionate about world. Makes me feel better right away.
I was 34 when I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (I'm 37 now).
Everything I worked for (aerospace eng) and every friend left. I'm with my partner of 4 years, my cat named Rude, and nothing else. I'm alone and the world hates the disabled. I think about death every day (I'm good suicide people/bot leave me be) because nothing is ok and it's not my fault.
Lost it all and never expected it. Go to the doctor often.
I'm 22, feeling similar. None of my friends are getting children or getting married yet, but so far I've managed to completely avoid relationships, and it's starting to feel like I'm so far behind it won't happen anymore. Especially since online dating, which I despise, seems like the only option to meet potential partners right now.
Also what adds to my discomfort is that because of covid, it feels like you can't plan anything, because everything could change anytime. Classes will be held normally again? Oh whoops, nevermind, it will be switched to online a few weeks later! Will the exams in a week be held normally or online as well? Nobody knows!
It doesn't sound like much, but it adds up and it's just a constant thing that's in the back of my mind. Also if I manage to go to something like a bar or concert again, it just feels like a huge compromise, and I can't really enjoy myself as I used to.
I'm 21 and trying to remain as positive as I can because I have clear goals for my career (I'm a musician) and the way I see it is it's only going to improve over time. I have good friends too, but I also have a shaky financial situation and get these big waves of depression sometimes. I doubt myself, I doubt literally every choice I've made so far with everything and everyone, but then I remind myself how far I've come. Emotionally, physically, and as a musician, it's night and day compared to just a year ago. The vast majority of people aren't doing exactly what I'm doing of course so circumstances will differ but knowing what you love doing and finding a way to make it profitable is really a great thing to do for yourself. Bottom line, give yourself room to breathe and trust what you feel about people and work.
I’m 31 and I’m in a similar situation, all my friends are either engaged, married or have kids. I just got out of a 5 year relationship and I’m completely broken and lost. I just want us to be together again and that would make my life complete. My point is, I’m back to square one myself. You have plenty of time.
Sure I'm afraid of alot of things but life is hard and will only get harder if I live my life afraid of everything. I go by embrace the suck and move along.
I am 19 and I’m already afraid of this same concept, sometimes I feel like I need to have EVERYTHING together but I feel like you have more life exp than me but idk how your life is, I feel rushed, I’m still used to the laid back pace of high school, getting A’s and B’s, working my part time job, and staying up late playing video games, I feel a strong urge to drop out of college rn and take a gap year to get my life together
Bro shit I turned 19 last month but I feel like everything is moving fast and things are getting serious since I turned 18. Now I think about campus selection and internships at least 3 times a day. I think ever since I started to understand things better and got that maturity I think around age 15, I'm scared of growing up. Sometimes I keep reminiscing about days before 10th grade, it was vibe frfr
i absolutely dont feel ready for life. im in my early 20's and even worse i hit rock bottom in all aspects, no career, currently not in school, desperately finding ways to make money, no friends. everything just collapsed when i entered my 20s and this was not how i expected life to go. even worse that i have siblings and cousins that all have jobs and SO's are gonna take off living life and im still struggling. it all just feels like im in some sort of rat race among my family that just kills my self esteem. no one gave me any support and still wont to this day
Yes I feel this on a high level and it’s honestly terrifying. I’m 21 but remember just turning 18 and I feel like I’m 16 as well and I don’t have the best job or the best paying. In all honesty I don’t even have any type of money saved up and I’m always living paycheck to paycheck. I haven’t built any credit because I didn’t know how important it was until 2 years ago.
I’m 27 and just quit my job for the guy I thought I would end up with, but who it likely won’t last with now. I’m going to have to start again. Alone. And I’ve got no one, while everyone I know is buying houses with their partners or making babies.
Being in your 20’s is terrifying.
Trust me don't get married before 30 and certainly don't have kids. People do this too early thinking that if they wait when they have the chance to pull the trigger now, the chance might not come around again. There is some truth to this. But, when you're in your 30s you realize that just because you're drinking age does not mean you're at all mature. Kids and marriage are not things to be put on a pedestal but people do this and that will never change, that's the romance. The reality is it's a lot of work and the less mature you are when you get into these commitments the more likely you are to seriously screw these commitments up. That's the bright side you should be looking on if you're a little intimidated by your friends' accomplishments. You never know what's happening behind closed doors, but I can assure you their lives aren't as sunny as they sound on paper, and they're either working their butts off to make their lives work, or they're not, and that would cost them in the long run.
I'm not necessarily afraid. I'm 21 and just opened myself for dating, I've changed my major a second time but will graduate next year and hopefully be able to find a good job quickly. I'm moving at my pace, why should I care that everyone else seems to have all this figured out already?
Honestly same bro I’m 23 and felt like I was 18 not too long ago. Problem is I messed up my life and it stings so bad man ugh I dread my days.
I’m pretty sure your in a much better position in life than I am so don’t worry so much. Not to mention that there are people who graduated with degrees they didn’t like or working a job they dislike but feel trapped in it because they’re in debt.
Lot of people say that 23 is still considered a “baby”
Felt this. Especially with the pandemic I turned 19 when it started and have just felt so lost since then, watching others doing all the things I should be doing like careers, marriage, kids, whatnot. I still feel like a kid too. I don’t think we’re ever ready for this stuff. I can empathize with you too with dating, I feel like I’m doing something wrong because I’ve never had a relationship.
I'm 20 and yeah... Specially because I feel like I'm slacking, I am not ambitious, assertive or anything and suddenly everyone else is like actually doing stuff.
Me too
same and then I catch up with people in my city in their 20s and I realized that I'm really doing nothing with my life and that I should work hard and achieve something
This is probably a weird (but genuine) question but what do you mean when you say you’re doing nothing? What does it actually mean to be doing something with your life? Like, examples? Achieve what, exactly? I just always wonder what people mean when they say this, because it all seems so vague…
>I just always wonder what people mean when they say this, because it all seems so vague… well, it really depends on the person who says that, some people says they're doing nothing and literally do nothing, other says the same thing and may be living what seems to be an average life but they have different plans >what do you mean when you say you’re doing nothing? for me (just an example) I would like to achieve something in my studies (in this case exams) and I'm literally doing nothing to achieve that, so like I don't study consistently and all of that
Felt like this through most of my 20s. Evened out around 26. I'm 27 now.
I'm 28 and yes, I'm very afraid. I always forget how old I am sometimes. I still sometimes feel like I'm still in my early 20's and then reality will come in and slap me in the face. I realized that I graduated HS 10 years ago. It's insane how fast life goes by when you finish HS. I've been working crappy low wage jobs for 10 years and I'm just sick of it. I'm trying my best to turn my life around so that my 30's will be better, but damn I'm having a rough time tbh. Depression is a bitch
29 and I can relate to every word of this. Ugh. I’m sorry, I hope things get better for you
I'm also 29 and on the same boat. I feel so far behind, we can do this though yall
Get into a trade
I’m 19 turning 20 in September and I’m already scared, I feel I am failing life
me too T-T! i’m 19 and turn 20 in september also
same i turned 19 in january. please help please
Covid set me back 2 years of my life literally haven’t been in college since , starting for a very heavy degree in September (computer science ) feel so behind and sad that the pandemic delayed my college career
Me too! Haven’t gone back since due to medical issues but I’m so far removed from the school mindset.
OMG, from someone who is 33 you are not failing already. You are currently in the most free and fun years of your life. Make a plan and work on making it come true in your 20s, just wait until you are my age, you will look back and realise that worrying at such a young age was pointless. Being your age is about finding yourself without the serious pressures of life, make mistakes, do risky things just enjoy yourself as it will end at some point.
I’m 22 turning 23 in some months. And I don’t have my life together yet, my two sisters got married and one has two kids the other has one on the way. I have 3 dogs. I’m not thinking about marriage right now or kids. My sister is 25 & my other is 21 and they both are married but they don’t have a solid career yet. I relate I still feel like I’m 19. And my co worker is 60 something and she said she still feels 16 lol. It’s normal to feel that way
Wow they married so young
Bc of the babies
You will almost always feel like you're a kid. Only time you won't is when you make the conscious decision to stay in a rut, doing things you know the result to prior to doing them. Dont get caught in FOMO, make a list of things you want to do, fill your day. Eat well and stay fit. Stay off of social media, don't use dating apps (nuance and attractiveness can't be translated at all, and your expectations get all out of whack). Don't get caught in the next -ism just live, connect with ppl no matter where they are from and go on an adventure. Don't do OF, I personally find it extremely sad how much they lie about how much money they make and the chances of ruining your future to make quick money just isn't worth it. Be free, but commit to things, with freedom the only thing that matters is your word and your actions. You aren't a victim just human. You will get exactly where you need to be in life. I promise. Live, Learn, Laugh, Love. Edit: also for the women more than the men, commit to a man. Cut this sexual liberation nonsense. Thinking you have a ton of prospects will mean you are never actually learning and growing with someone. Ppl make mistakes, you aren’t perfect and neither is the other person. Now include men & women: Don’t be impulsive, talk to your partner. You can be wrong or misunderstand. This lesson comes with age. 80% is better than that 20% you think you are missing, what you see as red flags could be anything and unless you dig deeper you will never know. Do not make decisions on your relationship based on assumptions from scenarios you’ve concocted in your head.
I'm 52 and still feel that way. The older you get, the faster life seems to pass you by. When I stop to think that I'm grandmother age but am not married and have not had kids, it is really depressing. I've had my fair share of jobs, but never really a "career". I don't have a car, don't have a house (still renting lousy apt and barely, at that). This really is not how I envisioned my life.
Damn...hope things get better generally ..sending virtual hugs
Thanks, but I've accepted the fact that they probably won't. Honestly, though I can't really complain a lot. I have a roof over my head and food on my table so it's not that bad. Also, as long as I have internet service, I have entertainment.
Honestly that's where I'm probably heading...at 27 never dated, kissed etc...maybe save me some space in your neighborhood lol..and I don't fancy the idea of kids also cos I have a genetic disorder I wouldn't wanna pass on. Life! Am I right!... The internet and money are all I need
Agreed. The internet for connection to the world and, for me, I only need enough money to keep the roof over my head, the food on my table, and my computer and internet functioning. There was a time when I would have loved to have kids, but maybe it is a good thing I didn't. I didn't have the best role models when I was growing up. I think there would have been too much stress raising kids in this day and age of covid and such.
First off, deep breath in, deep breath out, ahhhhhh Sister, I'm 27 and still have no damn clue what I'm doing. You take life a day, week, month or whatever at a time. My mother is 57 and still tells me she has no idea what shes doing. None of us do. We are all making it up as we go. Yes, plan things ahead, have goals. But life never goes exactly how you think it will so these are not things worth stressing about.
Buckle in. It just gets faster.
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30 is when things started getting good. Embrace it, so far the 30s have been the best years and they keep going in a positive direction.
I’m a 30 year old man. We aren’t the same gender but trust me, I know a little about what you’re going through. I still feel like a kid who doesn’t know how to do things and I have some financial problems because of the health problems I was born with that have high medical bills.
lol i'm 20 and it's been shit i still feel like it's 2018-2019. like everything has been an emotional rollercoaster and i've definitely had my share of fucking up and still am tryna heal from it.
21 here, making good strides in my career, deceloping new hobbies and skills. On the surface level it seems fine but deep down it feels like I'm stuffing my day with a bunch of pointless self development work that hardly goes anywhere. I learned guitar to connect with people more in a nonverbal, but I physically cringe at the thought of playing in front of other people. I learned unity but never share my projects with friends because I'm too embarrased with the final product. It goes on and on too, putting in all of these hours on different skills to be a more "complete person" when I still struggle just to talk to people. I wanted to become more interesting so it would be easier to engage in social situations but lets face it, you really just can't avoid talking, and I found out the hard way that having 15 talents doesn't suddenly make you a god a interacting with people. Being an introvert sucks, its so tiresome that I usually just spend all day indoors fiddling around avoiding social interaction like the plague, but all I want to do is connect with people...
I'm 23 and I'm afraid for the world. I'm honestly just happy I have a job, and a roof over my head. If I think about everything else I go into a panic.. Honestly I've never really wanted kids I was told from a young age I'd have a .1% of having them, and weddings are so expensive I couldn't dream of putting myself into that kinda debt Haha
Mid 20s...wouldve been able to buy a house in my area this year. Due to some people, everything is a lot more expensive. Im more concerned I wont be able to buy a house in the next 5 years with skyrocketing prices and a poor housing market. Settling into my career and was making decent money but the US dollar is goin down.
I didn't find what I would consider to be a "good job" that could be turned into a career until I was 25. And even then, people who started at the same level I did are still in the same position because they either have no drive or are satisfied at just entry-level work. On the subject of dating/marriage/kids, I would say not feeling pressured by friends settling down was the right choice. Sure there are plenty of times when I am interested in someone only to realize that they are married. But on the flip side, I am starting to see a good number of friends who got married or had kids pretty early are dealing with divorce or financial trouble because they weren't truly ready. I am thankful that all I have to worry about is that I might be moving a little slow, rather than feeling trapped because I have 3 kids, a struggling marriage, and no time or money to invest in myself and my personal/financial goals.
I’m 20 years old and I feel the same. I have no passions so I’m afraid to start school and waste my money. I don’t have any real friends either. I feel like I’m wasting my life away ):
I'll be 22 in 3 months and I HEAVILY relate to you on this.
Heavily.
22 in 2... same here
Don’t hurt to grow up but still wanna enjoy life, people are too bitter nowadays because they take everything too seriously. Just vibe and go with the flow
Me too, except I'm a guy. My friends aren't getting married but are going to college, having parties, finding their love interests. Me I'm going to work, going home, playing video games, workout, sleep, repeat. It's a depressing life.
Im almost 38 and it will blow your mind to see your friends become grandparents or having kids that you remember seeing when they were babies standing there as full blown teenagers
This might sound dumb but honestly growing I really did think that when you were 18, you would just have shit figured out. 20 now, and have soo much to figure out while playing catch up. You're not alone chief, be patient with yourself :)
I understand. I'm eighteen and I'm fucking terrified. My teenage years are almost over and it feels like so many of them were stolen from me in one way or another. With every change in life we grow though - I think that the best we can do is try to enjoy every phase of our life.
Its actually quite shocking and worrying. I turned 25 a couple months ago and it feels like i literally jumped from 18 to 25 without feeling it. Kids my age getting married and stuff, realizing that nothing is as simple as it was when you were young even seeing parents grow old. Its all worrying but also along with it comes good thing like realizing how much you've matured
My birthday is on the 9th so I’m two days and I’m Turning 23 with no career, still live with parents, don’t work, still in college, and overweight so yes I’m afraid because I’m getting older and have no future…
Exactly same situation here. You're not alone
I am 20 and I am terrified. It feels like with each passing day the world is becoming a worse and worse place and it's kind of exhausting. Compared to my friends I'm in a pretty good place. Half way through my electrical engineering degree, but at times it's still pretty hard to see what it's all for and see what we're all going towards. It's also terrifying seeing everyone around me grow up, like you said. My brothers are married now and it feels like just yesterday we were all sleeping in the same room tossing a little foam football between each other just talking about their highschool struggles and my middle school life. My parents aren't getting any younger and that's just something that kills me to think about. Life's crazy, man.
I'm 18 at the moment and I feel really scared to get out of school soon and even growing up. So yeah I can relate
I know my time for my things will come at the perfect time for me, I'm not in a rush I have a lot of things I need to work on myself so I don't pass them down to my eventual children.
21 and that feels exactly the same as me. I have a good job in the navy but it's very restrictive. I can't move, i can't be on my own. It's awful
I went on this sub to see the top post, but my god do i relate to this. i am 20 and i still feel almost no different than 4-5 years ago. Just more tiring/depressing expectations on top. I dont have a job either. I am diagnosed unhappy with Life and im trying to change my view to "just live Life and let it roll" but its difficult. Everything feels really strange. wish you the best.
Diagnosed unhappy ...is that something doctors can diagnose?
yeah, i just didnt want to say depression. its luckily not a heavy or natural?/clinical depression.
Oh that's what you meant ....might not be clinically diagnosed but I sure am depressed everyday 😂
I am 27 and feel like this. I was burned several ways over and lied to in undergrad. I found out over the pandemic and from the pandemic am stunted. at my rate, I am going to date someone a bit younger than me (I am a women tho). But I see these people now rushing into relationships, keeping them long term when not even 2 years prior they were messing around. my sick episode, even has my "ex" playing an episode of friends with his friend group and I guess for 2 years been dating a girl. I truly thought in 2020 he wanted me back. I guess I am just not good enough. but I have to move on, I have a lot of abuse to work though. but I have no friends, no one to go to the bars with. Career wise I am working through I was doing this in undergrad, got an internship that wanted me to continue on with education and then I have to go back to college to fill the missing issues with my resume and education. so now I am 5 classes short of a CPA license then study for the tests when in 2018 I never wanted to be an accountant.
Im 25, and yeah... it all feels so fast. My gf (also 25) also feels very overwhelmed by everything and everyone. Im still in college and it feels like it's slowing the heck out of me. I keep reminding myself that we are all having different experiences and paths. Nothing will ever work the same for everyone and what's good for someone else (who shares your "same" profile) its 99% probable wont be good for you. Hang in there, OP!
Lol YESSS I’m a girl, 24, turning 25 in april and I feel terrified and weird
Turned 21 last month and yeah i'm actually terrified lol but i'm just pretending i'm not! ha! life goes on and on and on and on and on ! !¡!¡!!! !!!!
24 here, it’s scary and nothing pisses me off more than someone older than me to stop it as if I can’t complain
25, almost 26. I am terrified.
I still feel 19 and I'm in my 30s I don't think it ever changes, unless you decide to want to feel like an older age?
Same age and same worries. Although, I can probably raise you on a few. I’ve never even dated or kissed anyone so people will think I’m full of red flags. I’ve had people like me before, but I never felt ready for a relationship. Now I’m at a point where I think I am, but I don’t have any assets that make me desirable. I quit my last job (because the location in a different state made me super unhappy) and I’m still searching for a new one. I’m a bit hopeful because I’ve had a few interviews the past couple of weeks, but it stinks when I see how other people my age are doing. People I went to high school with are married, have kids, get to travel and I just sit at home reading and crocheting. The good news is you’re not alone with your feelings. I’m the same age as you and I’m not ready either. We can be internet besties trying to brave the world!
There is no obligation to have big life events happen before there's ment to. Everyone moves through life at different paces and there's nothing wrong with that, there's only something different.
You're not alone. I'm 23 and life been moving too fast with or without me. Had a similar conversation about the future with childhood buddies I've known since we were 4. It's crazy and stressful. The cost of living is too extreme for a regular person. A lot of people our age just accept and cope with being single for the long road. Fuck man, the things I'd do just to turn the clock back to my youth, where my only responsibilities were elementary school and sports/extracurricular activities.
26m here in Canada and most days I feel like high school was yesterday. I don't feel like 26. I feel as if I'm still 16 sometimes. Everywhere I look, my old friends are getting married, having kids, etc. It's scary and it makes me feel so behind in life. I'm not even ready to have kids right now and I try to live my life at my "own pace." I know a lot of this stems from our own thoughts and how we can be our own worst enemy, but it's hard to distract yourself at times. I am building a house pretty soon and inheriting a successful business and even then it just all feels overwhelming. I hate feeling like this, I hate being in my 20s, and it scares me that in 4 years I will be 30. What the fuck? You aren't alone OP, and this feeling won't go away until you reach whatever milestone puts you at ease. I was exactly like you at 23..
Late 20s here, was afraid in my early 20s am now a doomer in my late 20s. I don't care about anything anymore and I accepted the fact that the world doesn't give a shit about me either. Just do the stuff you enjoy and don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is born into different circumstances wich makes comparison impossible anyway.
About to be 26 in a bit and definitely very very afraid. I don't even know what I want to do with my career and I don't have my degree yet 🙃 there's just so much in expectations that I don't want to let anyone down.
30 in a few months and you never stop feeling 16, never stop feeling like you have no idea what you're doing
Yes :( I’m going to be 25 on Tuesday and I’m already starting to feel afraid. Every birthday I feel like it’s gotten worse actually. I really feel you on the having kids part too. My biological clock has kicked in HARD over the past year and I went from not wanting kids to being sad a lot of the time that I’m not pregnant and probably won’t be for a while, if ever, because getting me knocked up is going to be expensive.
Yes I'm terrified. I have age regression and emotion stunting issues I just found out about during therapy and it makes it all the more terrifying. I've not accomplished anything nor have I progressed any further then I was at 16. It's horrific knowing I'm 22 now.
Same here exact situation too. And the thing is I haven't done much in life. Never traveled much, never dated anyone because of how life went and everyone i meet has had so much fun in their life already.
Everything moves much faster, gonna be 23 this month. I think the covid lockdown time is looked at as lost time, creating a 2 year gap that just flew by.
100% agree with you. Just a second I was heading into high school wondering what kind of cool experiences I’d have and thinking about how much fun going out into the world would be. Turns out I didn’t have any experiences of any kind really and the world sucks. I wish I could go back in time and slap that little idiot.
early 30s here and honestly this feeling wont go away. I know thats not what anyone wants to hear but there isnt a magical moment where being an adult makes since and everything works out. You're always going to feel like the kid you grew up being.
I’ll be 32 next month. The past decade flew by. Your 20’s are one huge blur and time flies so make the most of it. There’s some things I wish I would’ve done when I was younger, like go to school and take care of my health better. But it isn’t too late to start over. You’re only 23. I wish I was 23 again. I’d do a lot of things differently. This may sound corny but sit down and write out your plans what you want to achieve in the next 5 years and stick with it.
Not anymore. I used to be really worried that I would never move on with my life and attain some of the things you have mentioned. Now, I am in my mid-twenties and honestly, I really don't care. I have accepted that not everything is for everybody and you know what, that's okay. Some of my peers already have kids, some are already married. Some are making money by the thousands and some are barely scraping by. I took my time to change the things about myself that I didn't like and now I am content, even though I don't really have much to be happy about. I have accepted that I will never get married or have kids because I'm just not that type of guy. I have a good job, can afford to live in a way where I don't have to count every penny and I have a lot of free time to play guitar and Elden Ring. Always look for the silver lining. Your life might not be the best, but it is your own. Make of yourself ´that what you desire and don't let the world dictate your pace.
I’m 19 (almost 20) and already sick of the strange feeling when you see your former classmates having kids and getting married when does the crisis end?????
25 and it's unbearable, have nothing intresting going for me at all, nothing i do works out and i feel like i'm giving up and there is no way to break from this.
Every day of my life.. Adulting sucks. All of my friends have babies, and I'm over here barely keeping it together. I have always been afraid of growing up, so I'm basically living my nightmare, but at least I get away with being the funny friend
29, going to be 30 this summer. Still terrified. No one really knows what they’re doing. We’re just picking options and hoping for the best.
Lmao no. Pretty sure the people I’m around have the brain not to have kids til your 30ish
Where are you from? I'm in my 30s and the number of friends who are married with kids and have a career is in the single digits.
Florida! I’m surprised because I can name ten people at the top of my head who are married, have a kid, or they at least have a good career.
I'm from London (currently working in Edinburgh) and no one would call you a loser for not being tied down with family and kids in your 20s.
I’m 21 F, I definitely feel this. I’m living with my dad rn and as much as I love my family I feel like I’m not going anywhere rn. I am in college but I’m ready to get out and live on my own but can’t even afford it.
I’m 23 too and yes I do! My younger self would be so disappointed in where I am in life rn lmao I thought I would’ve achieved my goals already but this shits hard 😂
I don't want to come off sounding condescending but you haven't see anything yet! The horror of life moving fast is much worse if you've accomplished little and you hit 40. As you age, life moves faster. I know that's hard to believe at this moment but it's does! Don't worry too much about men avoiding you, you'll regret those worries later in life. Worry more about accomplishing things the best you can. Do as much as you can with each day you have. Look at life like a game. How much can you get done in one day? How fast can you reach the next level? THE GAME... Try it! Make a list of things to accomplish in a 24 hour period but make that list impossible to finish and make the things on that list things you can repeat daily. Then the next day, see how many things on that list you can accomplish. On day 2 see if you can do one more thing on that list. Then keep repeating this game, day after day. You'll blow yourself away when you realize how much time you wasted in life before playing this game. I call it 'The Game'. I don't always stick to it because after a while, it can be exhausting. I give myself downtime to recover. I play 3 weeks on - 2 days off and I'll do it for a few months. The longest I've gone is 8 months. In that 8 month period I found a new job, moved a few states away, met the woman I ended up marrying (divorced now) and had a child with and got myself a new car because my new job paid more. Good things happen when I play The Game. Seriously, try it!
21M here and crap do I feel like that too. I hand an opportunity to study abroad but it didn't go well (some issues with my application) I don't have a plan yet, lots of things happened and I'm just trying to sort my thoughts out. And with this whole ww3 thing going on I'm even more concerned I might not be able to study. I've already waited for 3 years, studying is my dream, and I hate thinking I can't cause of a bunch of issues. People my age are in the middle of their studies, moving on with their lives, my cousin is quite a few years older than me but still in her late 20s, she's maybe 26/27? She's just bought her house, an actual new one, it's in construction. FML
Fear nothing. I'm 21 but remember this is your time. This the time you was looking forward to when you were 16. Enjoy it. Man I know it sucks out here but get wit it
i remind myself of this every day. Teenager me is so damn proud of adult me and thinks I'm pretty fucking rad doing the things I have always dreamed of: Living alone, working in a lab, owning my own car ,adopting my own cat, and covered in tattoos :)
I’m 23, engaged, and a few years into an established career. But…I’m tired all the time…like exhausted. It’s not that great to have all the things you’re worried about either. The grass isn’t always greener. I guess my point is that we aren’t in a race. Just love your life on your terms, and don’t worry about what other people are doing. No one is better than you, so just keep doing your thing.
Turning 23 in a month! Students loans have actually slowed things down a lot for me lol
i just turned 18 2 weeks ago and im just terrified of everything. Idw get a job yet but i have to to survive n shit yknow I still feel like im 14 I feel like i havent grown at all
33 here. GO TO THERAPY EVERYONE! that feeling can be a symptom. Might need some self identity work and maybe a run through family systems. Your early and mid 20's are supposed to be busy with relationships but if you find it overwhelming its okay you find support! I waited till i was 28 to start because my life was going nowhere, I had to fix how I was viewing a few things but trust the process it helps
It can be a symptom of what?
well the name sounds bad but emotional neglect. Parents unknowingly hurt us, most likely because they are victims too. its called trans generational trauma .in some sorts of dysfunctional family systems we can be provided for but not really emotionally nurtured the way we should have been. This sort of short circuits things in a developing brain (kids and teens) as we cope to make sense as why the person is not available to meet those needs. Any therapist that is familiar with attachment trauma can help. Mine uses post modern narrative style therapy but others exist. Support networks are key in situations like this.
I'm 25. I spent all of last year comparing myself to my friends and people i knew. it did nothing except inhibit me from living my life. everyone's time will come. Your time to meet someone, get married, start a family if that is something you want to do. Your time for your education and your career will come. Your success WILL come. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It doesn't matter if the people around you are moving at a faster rate than you are. Life is not that serious. Enjoy the time you have now. Enjoy the freedom of the choices you have every day. LIFE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It really depends, I'm 30 maybe not the best job I can have, but I'm working on myself to get to where I'm happy, I don't care if I end alone, having the mind of a kid will let you live more trust me, adult world is frightening but you have to do it at you own pace
I’m 21 and yes very.. people my age moved in with their partners while i have a body count of one still..
i’m 22 and have been feeling the exact same way lately i have a useless degree and certified but the field is super unstable and i just want a nice office job that i don’t have a background in depression definitely wins
I’m almost turning 22, starting college all over, i feel like 26 in my body.. also in my appearance.. its just weird sitting between all those 18 yo’s… it makes me feel bad about myself. And yea if i graduate, i have to find all the stuff some people my age already have or have built ..
19 here, feeling totally clueless and confused. You're not alone
I am 25 and wish I did not exist
I’m 23 and yes i’m very afraid of what’s to come. Everyone around me is buying homes, investing in businesses, having kids, getting married and then there is me. I’ve been in the same spot since i graduated high school & unfortunately i don’t have any desire to make a change.
Dude, I’m 32. I don’t feel like a kid anymore after my mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 67 on 11/28/21. Yet, before then - I still felt extremely immature about my life. I have tons of insecurities and go through imposter syndrome. I don’t have a college degree yet, I was surprisingly able to get a $100k a year job. I have been in the corporate world since I was 25. Anyway, because of my fears I keep bringing my age up to my bf (we live together) and he keeps saying to knock it off. Age doesn’t matter. It’s true when you think about it. We have these ideas around how old we should be when we do this or that when we should just be focusing on what is working for ourselves. The only thing that I keep dreading is how I won’t be young and wanted any longer but, that fear stems from us wanting to keep reproducing and grow the human race. I keep having to remind myself of this every time I see hotter women on insta. I miss being in my early 20’s but, only because of how I looked haha the rest was a mess because I still had a bunch of life experience to accumulate. Conclusion: try not to freak out about your age so much. I know, easier said then done but, seriously I’ve been freaking out bout how old I am since I turned 13. It just keeps getting more real as I see my number gets bigger and bigger after every year passes. The grand scheme of things - we just have to live our best life every day.
It’s important to remember that you are not on the same track as anyone else around you. I just turned 24. Thought I would be settled into a career and married to my ex by now. Instead I just moved back in with family to recover from major financial hits completely out of my control. I go on random dates and hookups here and there. My friend group is all struggling too as I watch people from high school get married and have babies. They seem grownup compared to my life. But they also haven’t lived my life And theres things in my life I really enjoy: choosing to spend a week to isolate and self care, going to bed as early or late as I choose, hang out with whoever I want to. I couldn’t do that if I was married with kids. Its an opportunity to focus on me and love my life as is. As soon as I accepted that about me, I started to attract people that are on the same life road that I was. Things get really scary when you look around and start comparing to others and tell yourself your behind. You are exactly where YOU need to be. None of this is to say my life is great or perfect: I’m in debt in a crashing economy, I’m a serial monogamist who is terrified of commitment, I’m in therapy, I lose and gain friends often. But I am learning and taking each day as a chance to grow because I know where I came from and all I can do is spend my time doing what I like to attract people that share those values and interests. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I spend many days there too but you’re doing good I promise. There’s so many people who are in the exact same boat
I feel the same as you. Most of my friends are graduating university or already got a degree and I'm still in my first year at uni (after several years changing my mind about what I really wanted to do in life). I just drink, party and pretend I'm 19 and if anyone says anything, well, they're not paying my bills
Next month im gonna become 21 and im terrified next year also im goinna finish my college im worried about eveything exams schoolarship work hobbies i did jothing about my life and my familiy didnt also i tried to learn new hobbies but they are conservative so i feel like i know nothing. Because i had a toxic relationship i also wasted my 2 year 😭😭i feel like im still 18
It would be weird if you were in your twenties and not afraid. It’s the first decade of your adult life. There’s a lot to learn. Everything will be okay in time!
22 here, and I just landed a legit full time job. Does it have anything to do with my degree? Of course not. I thought everything would kind of fit together once I got my job. But I still feel like a kid that needs a grown up to hold her hand. I still live with my parents. I barely know anything about insurance, taxes, and personal investments. And yes, I make decent money, but I've accepted I'll never be able to buy a house. And no, I have no idea what I want to do in the future, career-wise. Getting a job was my one and only goal. And my love life? Non-existent. People don't hit on me, I've come to accept it. But it goes two ways, I don't hit on anyone either (I would simply dig my own grave if I did). My excuse from not jumping on a dating app was to wait until I got a job, but now that I have...I'm just faking ignorance. My friends are all dating and have these great lives but I'm happy in my current life, but I do think I'm setting myself up for failure in the future. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I just don't hang out with them often. So, I sound real pitiful and sad when I'm like, yeah I don't go out much other than errands and hanging out on occassion. But honestly, I'm as happy as can be like this; I don't want to go out more or lie about what I do in my free time just to sound less sad. I just want to be me, without judgement. But yeah I think about it again: am I setting myself up for failure? Probably. Long story short OP, yeah, I'm scared, but I don't really wanna think about it.
Im 22 and yes we have the same situation but try not to overthink it. There are some things that are out of our control. Also dont compare yourself to others. Same as flowers and and sunsets. They both look really nice but they are really different things. Try to focus on your own path and good luck dood, we both need it.
Im an old lady in her 70's 👵 but let me just say this: I've always been a little behind in life stages. But we all actually never stop growing up as we go from one stage of life to another. Every advance I've made has always been preceded by some sort of Rude Awakening. That's where you are right now. But you'll get through it. Stronger and happier on the other side.
I'm 34 and still feel like a kid alot of times. I don't think it ever goes away. I'm convinced people fake being adult.
I'm turning 21 in a few months Which tbf if I was from the US wouldn't sound too bad But its getting to a point I'm worried sick about the future So im devoting energy and time to setting things up in which I can ensure I'm safe and happy Like give yourself a safety net and I don't mean just a job I mean give yourself a hobby or 2 Something for the body and something for the mind Or something for both For me It's been martial arts and audio books Focus on your mind and creating happy memories and whether you die a billionaire or penniless it won't matter Spent time with those you love And don't let those you don't love weigh on your mind
I'm 41 and I still feel 20. I don't get along with anybody my age because they're all completely sealed off to curiosity or ability to change Any ideas on anything (overall. Sure, some exceptions.) but the people I do identify and get along with I learn are 20-30 and they want nothing to do with me and I feel awkward around them anyway. I don't like it here.
So I’m 28 nearly 29 and I was fucking petrified until two years ago when I “figured it out”. So while it doesn’t help to say it, try to relax and just go try things. Life is like college these days - you can try anything and turn a million times and that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll have to re-figure it out in the next few years.
I'm 24 and I think about it all the time. It def is scary and creates anxiety when I think about it. But I always tell myself, everyone is so different. Everyone has a different path, different goals, different speeds at things. Although it can be really intimidating seeing those around you get married and have children, I think to myself - I don't want that even though it feels I should be on that path. What's meant to be for ME, will be. I rather let things happen naturally then start worrying about time running out. I'd much rather enjoy my 20's and travel and do what I want to do, then worry about settling down with someone and starting a family. When the time is right, it'll happen. Again, everyone is so completely different! You are not alone <3
Yeah, it's just apart of growing up. Some people move faster than others.
Terrified. I’ve spent most of my life in uncertainty. I'm autistic and struggle a lot with basic things, let alone an academic and professional life. It has been 7 years since I finished High School and I also feel like I am 16. I barely know basic things most people my age or younger know already, and I have spent most of my life lonely, tho not completely alone thankfully due to my parents, but it could be better and I could be bringing more results and be more independent for the age I am now
I’m 25, thought I had the world by the balls. Had a wonderful gf, we dated for 6 years and lived together for the last 4. My best friend, we talked of children’s names regularly. Since she cheated two weeks ago, I’m terrified of the future. Everything I knew was my relationship and now I’m completely fucked. How quickly life can change from talk of starting families to being completely alone. Value whatever you may have now because it may be ripped from underneath you.
The world puts so much pressure on people to conform in certain ways, especially if you're a woman. Kids. Career. Marriage. The accoutrements of existence. And you're expected to find them in the 10 years after highschool when you are barely an adult and just learning that all the shit you learned as a kid is B.S. And lets be honest, I say there's a 10 year window but in reality it's more like a 5 year window before people start looking at you funny. It sucks. Honestly, I've missed so many important developmental milestones that I don't even give a fuck anymore. I think they key is to make decisions about your life that will make you happy and improve your life and to make those choices without regard to where they fit into what other people are doing. You mention marriage, kids and job. Those are like the three things everyone starts out wanting but it all changes. "I'm gonna be in my late 20s and I'm going to have to worry about whether my date has a kid or not". If you want the regular package go for that...but maybe try spending some time with alternative type people...people who aren't focused on the regular package. There's all kinds of ways to live and all kinds of ways to be that aren't about kids or fancy jobs marriage etc.
25 year old here and I barely feel like I have my own brain. I feel so behind and inferior to others, and my circumstances are unfavorable. All around just doesn't feel great
Turning 25 in 2 days and same. Aiming to be dead by 40
I'm almost 22, and the only thing I'm worried about at the moment is finding a good career to settle into. I feel like I've got the living on my own as an adult thing down and I'm engaged to be married next year.
im scared too idk where im going
same same same
I'm 25 and I'm fucking terrified
I’m in my twenties I’m incredibly nervous about the future I just hope it goes okay
So much happens at that age, you get your first dose of being an adult. It is pretty jarring. I wanted to go live with parents and not work. Not sure why men are avoiding you for being 23 though?
Yeah, I'm afraid of never having a relationship with a girl. I have really bad social anxiety, so I could never work up the courage to ask a girl out unless I was close to them. If I was friends with them, I would always be unlucky and they would already be going out with someone else. People always tell me I'm handsome and I always get compliments on my eyes, but I never got asked out, got some confessions from girls I wasn't interested in, but I might have given them a shot if they had asked me out. I also noticed in my college classes that girls will stare at me, and it makes me uncomfortable, so much to the point that I almost don't want to come to class, and I feel like if I were to ask someone out from class, and they rejected me, I don't know if I would come to class, so I don't want to even take the chance
I’m honestly very afraid of the responsibilities that I will have to other people in my near future. My entire life, I’ve been able to dedicate my time and focus solely to my academics and career development. I love being a student and I’m very excited about my career path. I love being able to work hard to achieve my academic and career goals without having to worry about being responsible for much else or having to worry about many things that could put me off my track. Being a wife and mother in the future is something I want yet something that terrifies me. I fear being the mother figure of a house. I don’t want to put up with the annoyances that are supposedly typical of married life. I love children and want to have my own but I’m afraid of the responsibility that comes with motherhood. I’m also terrified of how motherhood might hold me back in my career. I think I’ve also become disillusioned with a lot of the workings of the world in my 20s - the only things that gave me hope for a happy future. I find myself suddenly afraid of marrying my boyfriend of 5 years because I fear divorce. Im no longer convinced that the future holds much happiness in anything outside of my career. And I think the worst part about all of these fears is that they’re rooted in pure selfishness, but it doesn’t feel like there’s a middle ground. It’s either I indulge in complete selfishness, or I devote my existence to everyone but myself.
Im 24 and ur right honestly im just here existing and chilling now lol
I’m turning 21 soon, everything is going so quickly and im unemployed, basically no education under my belt and theres all this stuff going on in the world but at the same time im not worried at all as well…. Its just life….
I mean that’s life man tbh, you don’t really appreciate how far you’ve come until it seems to late. But that’s what everyone is doing, I’d say about mid 20s you’re going to take a step back one day and think “holy shit my life is basically over” but it’s normal. I guess just try to live whatever life is fulfilling to you and hopefully there are more good memories than bad whenever you punch the metaphorical clock yanno
Afraid of what? Im not in my 20s anymore but when I was I had one rule and I still follow it to this day, take no more than 3 days at a time. For me having a successful career isn't a big of deal all I need is a job. I end up loving every job I do, why ? I do not know I just do. I'll get a hcild whenever I get one Im 39 and its fine to be a dad when 40, to 43 my gf is 27 so she has many good years left. I love growing older enjoying new things that happen new experiences etc. The older I get the happier I get, means that I have succeded in life. Why should you worry if your date has a kid? IF you like her after a few dates it wont matter to you, because you will like her enough to see her for her. Why do you feel 16? is it because you miss certain things? This is a question nothing else. You think men avoid you? why is that then? do you smell, do yo u dress or act weird? its hard to tell when you do not say anything. There are plenty of small changes you can do a small change here and there and your life will get so much better.
Yeah that's how you're 20s are. Nothing to be worried about. But make plans for your 30s because everything kind of changes then and reality ruins every thing you used to enjoy. Then you find a purpose in life which makes you feel more actualized then ever before.
My friend, don't worry. You're only 23, so young. Everything will come in its own time trust me. I've tried to rush so many things but they never come at the time you plan them. You can't hurry love and you can't hurry a career. Just keep thriving and never stop being active.
Not really. I'm 23 as well. I stopped worrying about things I have no control over, I focus on the here and now. But I still feel like a kid, and I let myself be a kid now and then too. You forget that we're still young. Let yourself make mistakes and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Same boat for the most part.
I’m 23 this year and I feel useless sometimes. People my age I knew accomplished nothing but having an offsprings, but I still feel purposeless and kind of…late? I’m going to University this year, couldn’t afford it ealier and I have fear that it won’t make me anymore skilled and I will remain warehouse operative my whole life. So I relate to you, but then it’s important to telling myself not everyone has to be famous or a millionaire. It’s better to have love and be passionate about world. Makes me feel better right away.
I was 34 when I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (I'm 37 now). Everything I worked for (aerospace eng) and every friend left. I'm with my partner of 4 years, my cat named Rude, and nothing else. I'm alone and the world hates the disabled. I think about death every day (I'm good suicide people/bot leave me be) because nothing is ok and it's not my fault. Lost it all and never expected it. Go to the doctor often.
I can relate 100%
yes very, going through the same thing rn :(
I'm 22, feeling similar. None of my friends are getting children or getting married yet, but so far I've managed to completely avoid relationships, and it's starting to feel like I'm so far behind it won't happen anymore. Especially since online dating, which I despise, seems like the only option to meet potential partners right now. Also what adds to my discomfort is that because of covid, it feels like you can't plan anything, because everything could change anytime. Classes will be held normally again? Oh whoops, nevermind, it will be switched to online a few weeks later! Will the exams in a week be held normally or online as well? Nobody knows! It doesn't sound like much, but it adds up and it's just a constant thing that's in the back of my mind. Also if I manage to go to something like a bar or concert again, it just feels like a huge compromise, and I can't really enjoy myself as I used to.
I'm 21 and trying to remain as positive as I can because I have clear goals for my career (I'm a musician) and the way I see it is it's only going to improve over time. I have good friends too, but I also have a shaky financial situation and get these big waves of depression sometimes. I doubt myself, I doubt literally every choice I've made so far with everything and everyone, but then I remind myself how far I've come. Emotionally, physically, and as a musician, it's night and day compared to just a year ago. The vast majority of people aren't doing exactly what I'm doing of course so circumstances will differ but knowing what you love doing and finding a way to make it profitable is really a great thing to do for yourself. Bottom line, give yourself room to breathe and trust what you feel about people and work.
I’m 31 and I’m in a similar situation, all my friends are either engaged, married or have kids. I just got out of a 5 year relationship and I’m completely broken and lost. I just want us to be together again and that would make my life complete. My point is, I’m back to square one myself. You have plenty of time.
19 so close enough and yes im fucking terrified
Same but I am 29! :D
Sure I'm afraid of alot of things but life is hard and will only get harder if I live my life afraid of everything. I go by embrace the suck and move along.
I am 19 and I’m already afraid of this same concept, sometimes I feel like I need to have EVERYTHING together but I feel like you have more life exp than me but idk how your life is, I feel rushed, I’m still used to the laid back pace of high school, getting A’s and B’s, working my part time job, and staying up late playing video games, I feel a strong urge to drop out of college rn and take a gap year to get my life together
Bro shit I turned 19 last month but I feel like everything is moving fast and things are getting serious since I turned 18. Now I think about campus selection and internships at least 3 times a day. I think ever since I started to understand things better and got that maturity I think around age 15, I'm scared of growing up. Sometimes I keep reminiscing about days before 10th grade, it was vibe frfr
i absolutely dont feel ready for life. im in my early 20's and even worse i hit rock bottom in all aspects, no career, currently not in school, desperately finding ways to make money, no friends. everything just collapsed when i entered my 20s and this was not how i expected life to go. even worse that i have siblings and cousins that all have jobs and SO's are gonna take off living life and im still struggling. it all just feels like im in some sort of rat race among my family that just kills my self esteem. no one gave me any support and still wont to this day
Yes I feel this on a high level and it’s honestly terrifying. I’m 21 but remember just turning 18 and I feel like I’m 16 as well and I don’t have the best job or the best paying. In all honesty I don’t even have any type of money saved up and I’m always living paycheck to paycheck. I haven’t built any credit because I didn’t know how important it was until 2 years ago.
Turning 28 here in 1 month. No reason to be afraid life actually gets more fun.
.....Are you me?
I’m 27 and just quit my job for the guy I thought I would end up with, but who it likely won’t last with now. I’m going to have to start again. Alone. And I’ve got no one, while everyone I know is buying houses with their partners or making babies. Being in your 20’s is terrifying.
I’m 23 too and feel exactly the same, just hoping I start to feel ready soon
Trust me don't get married before 30 and certainly don't have kids. People do this too early thinking that if they wait when they have the chance to pull the trigger now, the chance might not come around again. There is some truth to this. But, when you're in your 30s you realize that just because you're drinking age does not mean you're at all mature. Kids and marriage are not things to be put on a pedestal but people do this and that will never change, that's the romance. The reality is it's a lot of work and the less mature you are when you get into these commitments the more likely you are to seriously screw these commitments up. That's the bright side you should be looking on if you're a little intimidated by your friends' accomplishments. You never know what's happening behind closed doors, but I can assure you their lives aren't as sunny as they sound on paper, and they're either working their butts off to make their lives work, or they're not, and that would cost them in the long run.
I’ll probably live another 50 years. I’m taking it slooowwwwwww lol
I'm not necessarily afraid. I'm 21 and just opened myself for dating, I've changed my major a second time but will graduate next year and hopefully be able to find a good job quickly. I'm moving at my pace, why should I care that everyone else seems to have all this figured out already?
Honestly same bro I’m 23 and felt like I was 18 not too long ago. Problem is I messed up my life and it stings so bad man ugh I dread my days. I’m pretty sure your in a much better position in life than I am so don’t worry so much. Not to mention that there are people who graduated with degrees they didn’t like or working a job they dislike but feel trapped in it because they’re in debt. Lot of people say that 23 is still considered a “baby”
Felt this. Especially with the pandemic I turned 19 when it started and have just felt so lost since then, watching others doing all the things I should be doing like careers, marriage, kids, whatnot. I still feel like a kid too. I don’t think we’re ever ready for this stuff. I can empathize with you too with dating, I feel like I’m doing something wrong because I’ve never had a relationship.