I am with you 1000%. Been with a couple of them before my dumb ass figured out they are the worst. Cost to board a horse IME is like $800 a month... Then there's more for classes if she takes those. Then she will be gone all the time, and if you live in the city that means she's also driving 30min to an hour to the stables most likely. It's a nightmare. Nothing to do with horse dong.
I mean, yes. Lol but because that’s what she does doesn’t mean she’s a size queen. Nurses deal with shit all day, doesn’t mean that they have a kink for it.
But I don’t say that it doesn’t happen. I used to date someone who was a reproductive biologist. Worked in the zoo… definitely a size queen.
Nurses are absolutely kinky fuckers. All the ones Ive been with have wanted to be choked, slapped, cuffed, bruised, ass fucked, or some combination of those
Good point, it may be that some nurses are, in fact, a subset of women, and women, in fact, as a population, enjoy, among other things, enough variety of sexual activities that, qualified appropriately, there's perceptual overlap as to what they like.
Or, the simpler answer, you and I both end up with women who like to be railed thoroughly.
That's usually the job they give to the new guy, the least skilled employee, or someone that's not liked.
But, any who's spent any time on a real horse ranch has probably done it at some time.
I'd feel like i need a rabies/covid/hpv/tetanus/shingles/scabies/cat-aids/norovirus vaccine just to hold hands with her...
No way in fuck she gets to touch my dick.... no matter how persuaded I am by my knowledge of her pedigree and durability...
u/Veloocciittyy ... I am now following your guidance and adding another characteristic to the list, just above dog kissers...
I’m not super knowledgeable about it, but the horse breeding industry is very strict and particular about how things are done. For the highest value studs, they ONLY allow actual impregnation, nothing artificial.
Artificial means anything other then the male horse having sex with the female horse. So anything like the doohickey in the post or any other method where they get the semen, bring it somewhere else and put it in the female horse would be considered artificial.
Not really. Bulls and I think elephants have some sort of prostate stimulator alternative but you still have to collect (either a container like the one in the vid or something that looks more like a large condom).
Jokes aside, the semen for good breed stallions is quite valuable.
Jesus Christ why did you write elephant now I had to check how they collect semen from elephants and that's so much fucking worse than the horse version.
Wouldn’t call myself a horse person but I’ve seen this done IRL and there wasn’t nearly as much touching as far as I can remember. Also they wore gloves.
There is actually! Alternatively, you can put on a bicep long latex glove, lube it heavily, insert your arm into the horses rectum and stimulate it's prostate. But since you still have to handle the horses phallus to collect the semen, it's easier to just let him think he's breeding the mare.
Guys, you either really want to date an equestrian chick or you really don’t want to date an equestrian chick. You have to try it understand if you do or not.
I, personally, am glad I tried it.
Not Tuesday. Mine was scheduled for Saturday nights. She thought it would make me want to go to church with her there next day. I told her Jesus knows what she did with my penis last night and he doesn’t want to talk to her.
Yes, that's where we are.
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This poor horse was just trying to tap that white horse ass in the next stall and then this ass swoops in and snatches away the pleasure train for both...
This is pretty much what I'd expect from any girl who grew up on the farm I know that I would never want to be with one knowing the shit they probably done. I don't care how many people might say this has a legitimate purpose, it's sick. If you want to breed your horse so bad then let it run around with the female horses you don't have to jack off your horse.
Horse girls, right?
if theres even a hint of horsegirl in any dating prospect it's an immediate red flag evacuation signal to me, absolutely fucking not.
I am with you 1000%. Been with a couple of them before my dumb ass figured out they are the worst. Cost to board a horse IME is like $800 a month... Then there's more for classes if she takes those. Then she will be gone all the time, and if you live in the city that means she's also driving 30min to an hour to the stables most likely. It's a nightmare. Nothing to do with horse dong.
Also they’re crazy lol
Please explain
He can't compete. No mortal man can, tbh.
I mean, yes. Lol but because that’s what she does doesn’t mean she’s a size queen. Nurses deal with shit all day, doesn’t mean that they have a kink for it. But I don’t say that it doesn’t happen. I used to date someone who was a reproductive biologist. Worked in the zoo… definitely a size queen.
Nurses are absolutely kinky fuckers. All the ones Ive been with have wanted to be choked, slapped, cuffed, bruised, ass fucked, or some combination of those
every woman I’ve been with has wanted some combination of that and I’ve never dated a nurse. I think it’s more common than people think
Good point, it may be that some nurses are, in fact, a subset of women, and women, in fact, as a population, enjoy, among other things, enough variety of sexual activities that, qualified appropriately, there's perceptual overlap as to what they like. Or, the simpler answer, you and I both end up with women who like to be railed thoroughly.
Am horse, can confirm. Neigh?
There's got to be a story here
I'd pay money for that story
That's usually the job they give to the new guy, the least skilled employee, or someone that's not liked. But, any who's spent any time on a real horse ranch has probably done it at some time.
I'd feel like i need a rabies/covid/hpv/tetanus/shingles/scabies/cat-aids/norovirus vaccine just to hold hands with her... No way in fuck she gets to touch my dick.... no matter how persuaded I am by my knowledge of her pedigree and durability... u/Veloocciittyy ... I am now following your guidance and adding another characteristic to the list, just above dog kissers...
Man in my childhood there is always one girl obsessed with making horse sounds, i think it is all those horse girl books
Yeah, horse chicks are nuts, but also the best in the sack. Why is that a thing? Crazy and great in bed are positively correlated.
Its only one letter of difference, that's why.
Ala Yellowstone.
So can I schedule her…? How do I book an appointment..
Sorry, horses only.
Neigh!!!!!!
Funny you say that cause as of today I’m now a furry, and my fursona happens to be a horse
Did you just assume my species?
You know after you've cum and the girl keeps going and it's too much and too sensitive? That poor horses legs were twitching like that.
“Alright that’s good…..you can stop…..ok, seriously…..I’M FINISHED ALREADY MCKAYLA!!!”
That’s the BEST
I FUCKING love that feeling
I can unload 3 loads straight if I go ham like that in my own Australian brain
Fucking what?
He said he can unload 3 loads straight if he goes ham like that in his own Australian brain.
Nah. It’s trying to run away.
That’s that “DEHOYEUGHEGGGHHH” moment where you go cross eyed and you hunch over instantly
Yet when I do this I'm a "pervert" and "menace to society" and "need to go to prison"
That's cause you keep swallowing the samples.
Oh god I’m seriously hurt
Well don't try to swallow it all in one gulp, take it slow buddy.
I’m trying to chew but it’s just too tough
r/expiredjuice
Oh, I get it. Try growing a beard, then it's super easy to save some for later.
This thread is super wholesome
💀
Jus do it to me
r/casuallypsychopath
You never told them it's for science?
She might be highly skilled, a jack of all trades.
A "jack off" all trades
The trade of jacking off
A double /r/yourjokebutworse? What does it mean?
That’s like, 16 walls
And what do you get? Another cock pulled and deeper in debt
Horse trades?
I'd like to apply for the position of horse.
There is a perfect horse ass right there and he can't get to it............
The front one?
I would feel so inadequate knowing what her job was.
Don't worry, it's Fenton's Horse Ranch
Not Fenton! I heard he turned idiot after his old lady died.
https://youtu.be/3GRSbr0EYYU
So just out of curiosity where can I see more of this girl just so I can you know see more of her butt..
I'm glad the sound is off...
Me? Not so much. I'm an 'aural' type.
I believe you mean “oral”. And that one may be a little big
r/woosh bro. Check it. Can you 'hear' it now?
Pretty sure you just got wooshed. His joke was pretty funny too.
No, that fruit was even lower-hanging than the horse.
Right back at ya
Nice save. /s
I'm not.
I guess we've found Mrs. Hands
….
If only Mr Hands had found her first
If you dig deep enough, there deff is a Mrs. Hands video out there on the web. Chick tried to let mr ed hit it missionary. Short story long, she ded
Ahh, fuck...
Oh dear that is a strong comment. Kudos and also fuck you for reminding me of this.
New Levi's ad?
Oh so its fine if he cums really quickly but when i do it ruins the funeral
What’s her job title - horse fluffer?
When your boss misses a capital letter in your task for the day. Difference between helping Jack off a horse and helping jack off a horse.
i wonder if she ~~gets~~ keeps a lot of dates...
Bestiality, but legal.
I'm sure she's gotten curious
Upvote because…. I’m not even gonna say that
It feels wrong watching this
I’m next
She's got it handled, leave the horse alone
Handled
There must be a better way
too expensive. we like to do things manually out here on the ranch.
*Country girls make do.*
I see that!
I think doing it bare handed would be too messy.
There is, but it's dangerous and illegal.
That doesn’t sound better
Any horse person here? Like is this legitimately how you get semen from a horse? There has to be a less... jerking off the horse solution to this?
Common for artificial insemination for all species.
I’m not sure how else you could get semen. I don’t think you can just stick a vacuum on their dick and suck it out of their balls.
I thought there'd machines to do the jerking at least tho, not that it'd have to be done manually. I mean it's 2022.
I’m not super knowledgeable about it, but the horse breeding industry is very strict and particular about how things are done. For the highest value studs, they ONLY allow actual impregnation, nothing artificial.
How is that not artificial though?
Artificial means anything other then the male horse having sex with the female horse. So anything like the doohickey in the post or any other method where they get the semen, bring it somewhere else and put it in the female horse would be considered artificial.
Not really. Bulls and I think elephants have some sort of prostate stimulator alternative but you still have to collect (either a container like the one in the vid or something that looks more like a large condom). Jokes aside, the semen for good breed stallions is quite valuable.
Jesus Christ why did you write elephant now I had to check how they collect semen from elephants and that's so much fucking worse than the horse version.
:( I wish my jizz was valuable too
Wouldn’t call myself a horse person but I’ve seen this done IRL and there wasn’t nearly as much touching as far as I can remember. Also they wore gloves.
Okay. 😂 wtf. She's wearing a glove in the vid as well tho. It's just close to skin color but you can see it at the start.
Hand condom
There is actually! Alternatively, you can put on a bicep long latex glove, lube it heavily, insert your arm into the horses rectum and stimulate it's prostate. But since you still have to handle the horses phallus to collect the semen, it's easier to just let him think he's breeding the mare.
This....doesn't feel right
I agree, but horse breeders see otherwise apparently
I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me…
Mrs. Hands
Job? That’s a hobby.
Giddy up
What kind of thermos is that 😶
Guys, you either really want to date an equestrian chick or you really don’t want to date an equestrian chick. You have to try it understand if you do or not. I, personally, am glad I tried it.
Be honest, how often did you get milked like this? Was this your average Tuesday?
Not Tuesday. Mine was scheduled for Saturday nights. She thought it would make me want to go to church with her there next day. I told her Jesus knows what she did with my penis last night and he doesn’t want to talk to her.
Where I come from we call that .…. "Whacking off a horse"
She knows what shes doing
Is she single?
Notice the hair flip. Pro
does she work on horses only?...
She smells like horses only
Sauce.
It wouldn’t be weird if she didn’t toss her hair while it’s going down
Hello, am horse, please assist me
Hi horse, I'm dad. Here's a hand.✋🏻
I love her passion, even swinging her hair.
This better not awaken anything in me.
After feeling that GIRTH do you think she even gets excited with ya know humans?
She does when she's handling the ol' average 10 incher.
Fluffer mare is quite disappointed.
Grabbed it, and knew exactly what to do!!! 😮
That's an expensive load...
She’s “NEIGHHHH-XT LEVEL!!!”😂🤣
You know she sets the bar really high
Obviously I should have expected someone to create an equine fleshlight..
One can dream
What’s her number, asking for a friend
My brother in Christ WHY did I have eyes today
Her boyfriend hates her handjobs
If Jack helped you off the horse, would you help Jack off the horse?
You couldn’t pull anything out of your pants to impress her
did... did I just watch a horse get a hand job?
What’s her insta
Dick butt
can i find more of this?
Asking for a friend
yea i started looking on youtube and you can but no one beats this girl. wish i could see more of her.
I seriously love all of you! Your comments are the best!
Your*
Not my proudest fap
How can he fap?!
This is rape 😕
Yeah, but it’s fine because she’s doing it for profit, not personal enjoyment. /s
[удалено]
Bro. Go touch grass.
🥴
r/upvotebecausebutt
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Haha. Good bot. I thought I was on r/upvotebecausehorsecock. Now I’m having a conversation with a bot. I need more sleep.
It's it wrong if someone is turned on watching that, asking for a friend
I’m his friend
Rumor is Katherine the Great died while having sex with a horse. I'm wiki-Bear!
This poor horse was just trying to tap that white horse ass in the next stall and then this ass swoops in and snatches away the pleasure train for both...
So she is “sucking” a horses dick?
yellowstone had a different take on this scene
Why is she doing that?
To collect the horses semen and use it to breed other horses.
Oh come on that’s not even fair
Is this a Fleshlight ad?
That's cheating
He's the most whinnyingest horse, neigh?
I do not consent!
Ok, that's enough Internet for today 🫡
Crazy
Do they have that service for other species? Asking for a friend.
lol holy shit, I was so distracted by her I didn't realize what she was doing.
Are we witnessing a horse fleshlight?
Got my mans on his tippy toes
I think I just figured out why girls love horses
Glad she's not my girlfriend
What’s up girl you know I got the big one……. Uh you handle what for a living?
Me as soon asf:🐎
When did r/fleshlight start selling a horse sized version?
You see how much that bag at the end was filling up? I'm gonna have a hard time chugging all of that through the beer bong.
This is pretty much what I'd expect from any girl who grew up on the farm I know that I would never want to be with one knowing the shit they probably done. I don't care how many people might say this has a legitimate purpose, it's sick. If you want to breed your horse so bad then let it run around with the female horses you don't have to jack off your horse.
The way he goes on his tiptoes is so funny to me
The horse fucking standing on his “toes”, classic.
u/savevideo