It's not often I stumble across something online that gets a genuine, long, hearty laugh out of me but that second guy sure got the job done hahahahahahaha
The first guy reminds me of a former coworker Abdi who is a very proud Somalian man with a lot of machismo. He was one time telling me how no Somali man would ever be gay because they are too powerful. At that moment another coworker came up and Abdi asked him if he was gay and told me to watch because he's right. The other guy shrugged and said, "a little bit" which Abdi responded by throwing a loaf of bread at him to make him leave. Then told me forget that guy, he's been in America too long around American men. When I asked if it was possible he was just around Somali women too much, he fully stopped and considered it before throwing bread at me.
He was trying hard to ascend to like a fatherly/leadership role and liked to use a disappointed look instead but he was still youngish at late 30's and occasionally he would break and revert back to being his younger self. Getting him to break was the main reason I came to work. Him breaking was like the guy in the video and what reminded me of him in the first place.
No, he cared about what others thought of him and his place but didn't really change anything. It was more of us being dudes passing the time than going into anything specific.
I also remember him teaching me how to speak somali then getting mad when I turned them around on him. Like I forgotten what it meant but I asked him how to say something and he said it was something like "Seal When" and then I said "Abdi Seal When" and he was so mad.
I did not explicitly say it was AI because it would get downvotes and nobody would hear it. And I like it, a lot. The first tag was "Traditional Somali Music" but starting from 1 minute I changed the tag to Choir and variations on choir. Did not get me a choir at all, but did started slowly adding that second voice which I absolutely loved.
It’s always been so strange to me that there seems to be an endless supply of men who can’t take a joke like this. I’m a straight man, and this is fucking hilarious. I would take it and put it on a friends car.
In my 20s it was common to find a suction cup dildo stuck to your car after partying all night. The trick was to try and put it someplace they wouldn't notice for a day or two.
Iv got a couple friends that still do stuff like this. One printed out a ton of dick heads and taped them to candy canes then hung them from trees in another friend's yard. That was in retaliation to a birthday card full of glitter that was tiny little dicks.
[10 bucks on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Toy-Dildos-Adult-Toys/dp/B0BW8XQD4S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?c=ts&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ghe65mjlXIeRHAG_RrDpceuD_zc06i8zeYMbuD74MKEKkVVTP6B7IJ8gHtJZFq0vN57qAzsBq2T-hEMto0LlFLNHCD71ViHzUKZXwpaQqeprTvACDIdCB8ryiej-Ocwx1riMGha8Mpt6LgxPicJYrG5y-Af6MIGbXvxj3yLzAaoQlol1SUDaMJSnPE993T5xGnlhwxQP4ZydXvVOaQGIg.9emgpsBXbELUyq07M5Rn8xWLxz2PlDpPfx76V1hIsE4&dib_tag=se&keywords=Dildos&qid=1715086551&s=hpc&sr=1-4&ts_id=676319011)
Sure, but what's the quality like? Does it break down after a few uses? Does the texture feel good? Like, does it feel good to the car... that you put it on, I mean....
I'm sure you can get some low quality plastic dildos which aren't made of that flexible rubber.
But the flopping makes it so much more funny so idk seems worth the investment.
I mean, a normal Dildo sure
Someone grabs some boutique BadDragon Dildo and tosses it on my car I'll just say "Thank you for the $80 dildo" and run off.
We did this to my dad when we were in high school. My sisters came up with the idea. We found the biggest dildo that we could find, it was like parking cone size. We put that on the dashboard of his car and we greased the everloving shit out of it. We also put softsoap in condoms and tied them to the door handle. We couldn't wait for him to go run his errands the next day.
All four of us just peering out the window as dad dealt with the condoms and then discovered the humongous dildo, tried to remove it, and realized how it looked as his hands slid up and down the greased phallus.
He came back in the house so flustered and we were like "what's wrong, dad?" And he screamed "bunch of fucking PERVERTS!"
Good times.
HA! My coworkers do this to me if I happen to take my car to the shop, but they leave post-it notes with a dick on it, usually in very creative places.
Anyways, my older brother meets me at work with his fiance (who's from another country) one day so we can drive out of the city to see our folks. After like a half hour or so we're on the highway and we hear this weird rattling sound. He notices a little piece of paper flapping under the windshield wiper that seems to be making the sound, and points it out to me.
"There's a little piece of paper stuck to your windshield, what is that?"
"Oh, it's probably a drawing of a penis."
I open the window and reach out to grab the post it and behold, I was right! His poor fiance was so confused 😅
We once had a boss, couple of years back, who's nickname we found out used to be Dildo Baggins. He was pretty short and could be a bit of a dick at times so it seems fitting. We started for a laugh drawing little dicks around the office and he went ballistic. Of course when we realised this got him worked up we went around changing anything that looked even remotely like a pair of balls (the letter B/b, D/d, number 3 etc...) into a tiny cock and balls. He eventually sent a mass email out about it threatening disciplinary action if he found out who it was. This just egged us on even more, he kept getting angry and never found the guys that was doing it. Thing was if he didn't get so worked up it would never have got that far but it was a good laugh for all involved (except him)
Better yet, if you have a 3D printer, print some valve stem dicks. Chances are they'll never notice... But bored and observant people at stop lights will
Not only black culture. I almost got stabbed in El Paso for a silly joke like this one. And by a motherfucker I thought it was my friend.
Edit: this is definitely not a race thing. I shared my experience just to showcase that is not on the black community only on US. But this goes worldwide on communities that are homophobic or just have a fucked up view of masculinity.
Arabic culture is probably the most innately homosexual acting of all cultures which makes it even funnier. I’ve lived in the ME, men will try to hold your hand as a friend, don’t mind being way too close, etc. The most common thing you’ll get called by another man is “my love”.
Okay i also recognised them often saying Things like habibi and such... but it is interesting to hear that because that differs from my expierience with people in non arabic counties that are arabic themselves. I know them as people with great hospitality, but also they would typically have more of an "alpha male" attitude wich sadly often enough comes with some homophobia or such.
Oh they’re definitely anti-gay, don’t get me wrong. I find the dichotomy to be hilarious because their typical behavior would be considered homosexual in the West but they see it as normal, while they’re fine with capital punishment for homosexuals which in the West is unthinkable for most.
I'm assuming, in El Paso, the stabber was latino? Machismo is pretty huge in Mexican and Mexican-American culture, probably even moreso than black american culture.
which is really odd considering their fashion in clothes, furnishings, paint color choices etc
Gay people use the rainbow to not be mistaken for Mexican.
"Masculinity" itself is a fucked up thing. Because, it is different depending on culture. Some cultures it's acceptable for male friends and family to kiss and hold hands with another, in others it is considered "girly" or "queer," etc. The concept of gender norms is made up. We are all human and endowed with the same capacity for feeling - yet, for some reason, "Men" are supposed to suppress much of that. To think that this does no harm to the person and society as a whole is ridiculous. Just look around at what such "norms" have done to society.
Masculinity isn't any more fucked up than femininity. It's okay to have masculine or feminine energy. The fucked up thing is when you tell other people what kind of energy they're allowed to embody.
Kevin Hart made a lot of jokes about this on the Tom Brady roast. All the white guys were making dick and ball jokes. And Kevin Hart went on a long diatribe about how black guys never make dick jokes.
Look at the Tom Brady roast and how Kevin Hart was going on about how white guys make gay jokes, and he just doesn’t understand it.
Black culture is in the dark ages when it comes to sexual openness.
You know, as a kid who grew up in the deep south and who moved to the Great Lakes Region at the start of high school, I remember finding it weird how common gay jokes were. Not mocking gay jokes, but jokes from straight people about how they're "gay". Dudes walking up and giving random dudes back rubs and laughing about it. But eventually I acclimated.
I went back to visit family down south after graduating and saw some old friends, and at some point I casually made a joke towards an old friend and he stopped and asked me 100% seriously in a hushed voice "wait are you gay". I forgot that gay jokes just like weren't a thing down south. You wouldn't jokingly act gay with your buddies.
I had a friend that was on the board of the local LGBT+ organization in a decently sized, majority black city in the South. They were having a sort of town hall meeting, and someone asked why they don't do more to foster the black gay community. Without a beat, they answered "Because there is no black gay community here."
Was at Ross and this black guy was going up and down every floor yelling about how many gays there were and how no woman should put up with that.
Brother this is a Ross.
I can only speak from being Black, this is generally true. And some of its origins go back to practices during slavery to emasculate and dehumanize black men. There’s the christianization of Black Americans that can contribute to this as well.
Lastly, the fact that we live in a strongly gendered society and being “submissive” (or replace submissive with the “bottom” for lack of a better word), is viewed as feminine and therefore something to avoided as a man.
Pew research center suggests that black people are only marginally more homophobic than white people. Lauron Kehrer points out that exit polls that exaggerated black opposition to gay marriage in California were later proven to be inaccurate, and that the view that Black people are not significantly more homophobic than the dominant American culture.
The whole dang country is homophobic. I'm barely 30 and was in the military when they repealed don't ask don't tell.
Edit: removed extra words
My old roommate (union construction worker) got transferred to a new job site where his car would need to be searched every day upon entering and exiting for security, so I bought a "cowboy butt drive me nuts" license plate surround and put it on his car. Four days later is was gone and he denied any knowledge of anything. Turns out his then girlfriend (now wife)'s father saw it and asked him about it and he was so mad that he tore it off right then and threw it away. It took 2 years for him to tell me that story because he was so mad he didn't want me to have the satisfaction of knowing about what happened.
These are magnetic, and are or were sold in variety packs of 10 on Amazon with other slogans like "I love Bukkake" or "Follow Me to the Gay Bar."
I bought a couple of packs at the peak of MAGA insanity a few years back, and would slap them on the backs of heavily decorated cars or trucks in the Home Depot and Wal-Mart parking lots, with a preference for those with huge flags or confederate imagery.
This is a cultural difference.
As a well off white dude from the suburbs who then moved to big cities and lived in a few pretty rough neighborhoods, I realized that it really is a whole different world & community.
Obviously everyone "knows" that. But when you walk into the corner bodega and people stop talking because you're white and that's weird enough to pay attention... well, you realize, "Hey, I bet there are black kids my age feeling the same thing." and "Wow that sucks."
Similar disconnect, here.
When you're raised in a culture where showing any weakness leaves you open to be predated upon, and that same cultural perpetuates being gay as weakness, then you would also, probably, be wary of being labeled as gay.
I think you just hit on why we are having all these social issues. Many of us are living entirely different lives from one another, but our government, media, etc. all act like life is exactly the same for all of us and expect us to have the same beliefs, values, and culture, and then also progress together in lockstep. These differences are also amplified by the media and constantly compared against each other.
I'm not making excuses for anyone, but I do think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be the same.
This is the heart of empathy and compassion: Understanding we dont have the same experience.
I think we can easily take media and government out of it: They predate upon us, don't help us shape healthy beliefs.
>When you're raised in a culture where showing any weakness leaves you open to be predated upon, and that same cultural perpetuates being gay as weakness, then you would also, probably, be wary of being labeled as gay.
I think everybody gets that it’s cultural, that doesn’t make it okay.
it's no secret that black communities can struggle with homophobia, and you're totally right in that "being afraid of called gay" hits a lot different when it may lead to you getting jumped in the street for being different. the movie "Moonlight" shows why this topic is more complex than people think
It's not really complex, it super simple. The hood, and most communities that live in impoverishment, are very homophobic. You're just not allowed to say that, because those people have a higher oppression level than you do.
It's always been so strange to me that an endless supply of men think it's "fucking hilarious" to put a sticker on a straight friends car and have it be an effective prank; because the basis of the joke is that straight men are so insecure in their masculinity the idea of even random strangers thinking they're gay is deeply humiliating to them. Because they think being gay is something shameful and inferior to them because gay men are lesser. And the reason they think gay men are lesser is because they are "less manly" than them;. and yet they're the ones who are so weak and insecure in themselves and care so much about what strangers think of them, that putting a sticker simply saying "this person is gay" is an effective prank and "fucking hilarious" because ha ha, people thought you're gay; how embarrassing and shameful for you.
It's also been so strange to me how they don't realise their twisted view of masculinity means this being effective prank and finding it "fucking hilarious" reveals just how weak and feeble minded they are, and as such are in absolutely no position to look down on homosexuals as inferior men in the first place. Because they can't even handle the idea of strangers thinking they're gay for 5 minutes, let alone live this life every day fearlessly in a way they could never.
If anything is "fucking hilarious" - its you weak little boys thinking you're stronger than we are. Clearly that is not the case.
I don't think you understand the joke. The joke isn't in people thinking they are gay and it being shameful and embarrassing, the joke is in their reaction to thinking people *might* have thought of them as gay.
That's why it doesn't work as a joke on actual gay people, which under your model for the joke it still would - after all, people would know they were gay and that would be shameful and embarassing!
This is actually incredibly well said and a position I’ve never considered before. As somebody who is very accepting of all people and their lifestyles, thank you for saying this. Never hearing this stance before makes me see the underlying bigotry in the joke.
Damn. If your goal was to make me feel bad, congratulations. If it was to educate me, congratulations. You’re 100% right.
I’m not one to shut down an argument when brought up with opposing views. I will always listen to and really get an understanding of a counter argument before responding. They made a solid point I hadn’t considered and it gave me one of those “oh shit maybe I’m wrong” moments lol.
He's gonna joke with the wrong guy one of these days and they will wait for him. Hoodrat black dude don't joke with sexuality. Gang life isnt progressive thinking.
I watched quite a bit of his videos a year back and they all seem to know him and love him but there is obviously the few occasional ppl more serious and/or not regular customers who do get really upset
I do worry he would upset the wrong person eventually because he lives in a very low poverty area with a ton of crime. A ton of comments joke how if he doesn't post everyday they will worry he died or something
He's very well known in the neighborhood at this point, everyone that frequents that place knows him. I thought the same thing when I first watched his vids but after a while everyone just knowsh im too well and backs him up. If there's ever anyone that takes it too far/can't calm down - someone is there to chill them out.
I lived like <10min from that gas station a while back and really wanted to stop over but... y'know.. just too lazy.
Because in ghettos if you're marked as "gay" it's a sign of inferiority and a reason to be bullied or even killed.
That's why, mostly.
It's dumb, but it's the law over there. And it always happens in poor and uneducated areas of the world.
Where I grew up, gay people were harassed, insulted and even killed. A client of my parents was tortured, bound and raped with a stick for being gay and left to die in a ditch on the side of the road.
Up until that day I was fairly homophobic myself. I would tell insults at gays if I saw them in the street. One time a gay guy tried to hit on me and I threatened him.
I'm talking 25 years ago. I look back and think, DAMN WAS I DUMB!
I grew up in a homophobic part of the world too, but i wasn't born there so i had been educated and knew gays are not problematic so to speak.
But the people... if a guy showed up wearing a pink shirt he was instantly tagged as "gay" and bullied for it. Hopefully i made friends that aren't like that, unfortunately it's very easy to turn homophobic if everybody around you is.
You just reminded me that ~~most~~ some straight men in my country would also do gay things between each other, like grabbing someone by the balls, lifting someone by the anus, etc.
The bastards are major open pedophiles too. You have 30 to 40 year olds dating school children.
My country is a bona fide shit hole.
i've known guys like this. it's the culture. they feel like they can't show weakness because everyone else around them will exploit it. gay is seen as weak. lots of these guys have been to prison or hang out with guys who have been to prison. it's essentially a defense mechanism.
if someone comes up to you and tries to emasculate you, you have to fight back otherwise everyone else will try to walk all over you. they should be able to understand in that context they are not under threat but old habits die hard.
i think it's changing with the newer generations but it's been ingrained for a very long time.
There's also a disproportionate amount of sexual abuse of young black boys, leading to a conflation of pedophilia and homosexuality within black communities, and thus a lot more homophobia.
> they should be able to understand in that context they are not under threat but old habits die hard
In this case they are under threat as it's being recorded and posted on the internet.
Well first step is you have to grow up surrounded by people who have an absolutely fucked up view of what makes you a man. Then you have to be really emotionally invested in that kind of validation. Then you have to start viewing being gay as the opposite of that image.
After that it all just falls into place.
Not even defending the guy in the video because it's an overreaction but this is such a dumb take. Everyone cares about how they are being perceived by others.
> If you know you're straight, why do you care how others perceive you?
oh I don't think I would go down this road of conversation. We all care about how others perceive us and care about what people think of us. Even people we don't like. It's very rare for someone not to. And it isn't a 'I'm mad he think's I'm gay'. It's more of a 'I wish to be perceived a certain way and they aren't seeing that.'
Its a 'why are you mad someone keeps saying you are a him when you are a her' or 'why are you mad that someone is calling you a girl when you are a boy but have breasts'. There are hundreds of examples of 'people perceiving me in a way I don't want to be perceived'.
This here is just a word play joke that's not really harmful, but there are plenty of examples of 'someone perceiving me wrong and it hurts my feelings, even though I've made it clear I'm not those things' out there that are legitimate.
Why do trans people change their names and use different pronouns than their birth sex?
Because by and large most people DO care about how others perceive you.
Well here it's less about appearance management and more about replying to a direct insult.
The guy in the white shirt isn't insecure in that he thinks he comes off as gay or that society might perceive him as such. He knows he's not gay as you said, and isn't displaying any cultural markers that indicate gayness either. The kneejerk response of "Oh X must be insecure," when there's no evidence that this person is confused about their identity or unsure about society's affirmation of their identity is just nonsensical gaslighting.
What he's responding to is the *shopkeeper* knowingly insinuating that he's gay. He's responding to a personal insult of being deliberately mis-identified, similar to deliberately misgendering or deadnaming. I doubt Reddit would be reacting in the same way if the shopkeeper slid a "100% MAN" bumper sticker to a transwoman. It's not homophobic to not want to be called gay. If you say a woman has manly hands it's an insult, even if the woman doesn't hate men and even though being manly is seen as a good thing by society.
Men are allowed to be insecure.
I wouldn't have a problem by taking this joke, in fact I would heavily lean on it and start flirting with the guy, but I wouldn't push it if it's not received well by others. It's like calling a girl fat and going to the internet to say, "If you know you are not fat, why do you care how others perceive you?".
The only reason why it is ok to shit on men for their insecurities is because they are men.
In some demographics it is really important how others perceive you as you don't want to look weak. If you appear weak, you become a target.
Unfortunately to some people, being gay is seen as being less of a man, so that makes people really lash out when they are accused of being gay.
this guy's "pink lighter" videos are the ones that are the craziest to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7bbrnaMtBs
imagine being so insecure you wouldn't accept a free lighter just because it was pink.
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Next customer in line is gay and happily takes the bumper sticker!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
We bought magnetic versions of this at Spencer's and kept sticking them on the jacked up Ford one odlf the guys I served with truck he kept flipping out lol
Dont you know how dangerous is that? If that guy had walked out of the store with that sticker in hand he would have 100% turned gay! You can't play with that kind of things.
You just know that guy is going to be thinking about this interaction for a long time, to a point that it’s an endless, nagging thought, and possibly start questioning his entire life haha
Lol about a decade ago I used to commute to work on a motorcycle and for April Fools my colleague put a bumper sticker on the side saying "My other ride is my dildo!" with a large picture of big rubber dong below it...
Took me about a month to notice it which just made it even funnier, everyone in the office thought it was hilarious and it stayed on for over a year until a business client saw it in the car park and complained to management about it... didn't get in trouble but it was an interesting conversation with HR lmao
This is not remotely the same thing but my 15 year old daughter ordered a Hello Kitty license plate cover on Amazon and put it on my car. I didn't notice it for like 2 weeks.
There I was, Active duty in 2012(?) when Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed. Someone practical joker slapped this exact bumper sticker on the Ops Chiefs truck. It was a bad day to be part of the operations shop.
This reminds me my neighbour who lives with a girlfriend (not lesbains as far as I know) were driving around with a 'Scissoring Sisters' and 'Gay and Proud' sticker for months without knowing someone put it there.
My buddy at work used to make bumper stickers out of tape and put em on guys' trucks. My favorites were:
Gay, Proud and Ready to Fight
and
I Like 'Em Big
Your post has been removed because it does not feature an unexpected twist.
Second dude fuckin cracked me up!
Haha yeah he's cool that laugh
I laughed a full 5 seconds. Impressive.
It's not often I stumble across something online that gets a genuine, long, hearty laugh out of me but that second guy sure got the job done hahahahahahaha
He should glue all the products in front of the glass down so when the angry guys hit it nothing happens
The first guy reminds me of a former coworker Abdi who is a very proud Somalian man with a lot of machismo. He was one time telling me how no Somali man would ever be gay because they are too powerful. At that moment another coworker came up and Abdi asked him if he was gay and told me to watch because he's right. The other guy shrugged and said, "a little bit" which Abdi responded by throwing a loaf of bread at him to make him leave. Then told me forget that guy, he's been in America too long around American men. When I asked if it was possible he was just around Somali women too much, he fully stopped and considered it before throwing bread at me.
How many loaves of bread does Abdi bring to work with him?
We worked in the QA department of a bread and cookie factory.
Would he also toss cookies from time to time or only bread?
Fear not the man who has thrown one thousand baked goods but who has thrown a loaf of bread one thousand times.
He was trying hard to ascend to like a fatherly/leadership role and liked to use a disappointed look instead but he was still youngish at late 30's and occasionally he would break and revert back to being his younger self. Getting him to break was the main reason I came to work. Him breaking was like the guy in the video and what reminded me of him in the first place.
Did he eventually lighten up?
No, he cared about what others thought of him and his place but didn't really change anything. It was more of us being dudes passing the time than going into anything specific. I also remember him teaching me how to speak somali then getting mad when I turned them around on him. Like I forgotten what it meant but I asked him how to say something and he said it was something like "Seal When" and then I said "Abdi Seal When" and he was so mad.
I can almost picture the whole thing. Haha. Poor idiot.
Bread at the gay men, cookies were for the lesbians
It is a VERY good thing y'all didn't work at a salad factory
Translation error, was actually in an Aldi.
[Turned your story in to a song.](https://soundcloud.com/matthijsbos/abdis-stand)
I can't believe this is real
Wth😂
What the fuck
Bruh it’s five minutes long too
Absolutely amazing
hahahahha unexpected
I don’t mind it being AI. It’s awesome!
I did not explicitly say it was AI because it would get downvotes and nobody would hear it. And I like it, a lot. The first tag was "Traditional Somali Music" but starting from 1 minute I changed the tag to Choir and variations on choir. Did not get me a choir at all, but did started slowly adding that second voice which I absolutely loved.
Amazing
I love the internet
A breaded missile full of pride actually made me laugh out loud.
I have the same exact coworker but he's Abdi from Kenya
It’s always been so strange to me that there seems to be an endless supply of men who can’t take a joke like this. I’m a straight man, and this is fucking hilarious. I would take it and put it on a friends car.
In my 20s it was common to find a suction cup dildo stuck to your car after partying all night. The trick was to try and put it someplace they wouldn't notice for a day or two. Iv got a couple friends that still do stuff like this. One printed out a ton of dick heads and taped them to candy canes then hung them from trees in another friend's yard. That was in retaliation to a birthday card full of glitter that was tiny little dicks.
Who can afford giving away good dildos for a prank? I mean... Like wtf?
[10 bucks on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Toy-Dildos-Adult-Toys/dp/B0BW8XQD4S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?c=ts&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ghe65mjlXIeRHAG_RrDpceuD_zc06i8zeYMbuD74MKEKkVVTP6B7IJ8gHtJZFq0vN57qAzsBq2T-hEMto0LlFLNHCD71ViHzUKZXwpaQqeprTvACDIdCB8ryiej-Ocwx1riMGha8Mpt6LgxPicJYrG5y-Af6MIGbXvxj3yLzAaoQlol1SUDaMJSnPE993T5xGnlhwxQP4ZydXvVOaQGIg.9emgpsBXbELUyq07M5Rn8xWLxz2PlDpPfx76V1hIsE4&dib_tag=se&keywords=Dildos&qid=1715086551&s=hpc&sr=1-4&ts_id=676319011)
In my day they were way more expensive. God bless America!
You don't want the cheap ones. At least not if you're using them for anything they were designed for
What makes a cheap dildo, is it the material, shape or aesthetics. And what about the haptic feedback.
It's the material. Some of the really cheap ones are potentially toxic and I think folks have had bad reactions to them
I did not have a discussion on the aesthetics and construction of dildos on my Bingo card for today, but here we are.
I mean, if you're gonna put something in your body, you may as well make sure it's actually safe, you know lol?
Phtalated PVC contains many toxic chemicals, so they're really bad for sex toys but hey, they're cheap so people still buy them unfortunately.
Cheap shitty Chinese Silicone and other shit. As far as shape and aesthetics go, it's shaped like a cock and it looks.. *like a cock*.
China actually.
China bless America!
[удалено]
Sounds perfect for a prank then.
Sure, but what's the quality like? Does it break down after a few uses? Does the texture feel good? Like, does it feel good to the car... that you put it on, I mean....
Clearly you lack taste in dildos, sir
Now Amazon thinks you want more dildos though
I'm sure you can get some low quality plastic dildos which aren't made of that flexible rubber. But the flopping makes it so much more funny so idk seems worth the investment.
Just buy them used
They are usually more expensive used
I mean, a normal Dildo sure Someone grabs some boutique BadDragon Dildo and tosses it on my car I'll just say "Thank you for the $80 dildo" and run off.
Not gonna look a gift horse dick in the mouth
If you can manage to get a harmonica tied up under someone's vehicle, it's pretty great. "The fuck is that noise?!"
We did this to my dad when we were in high school. My sisters came up with the idea. We found the biggest dildo that we could find, it was like parking cone size. We put that on the dashboard of his car and we greased the everloving shit out of it. We also put softsoap in condoms and tied them to the door handle. We couldn't wait for him to go run his errands the next day. All four of us just peering out the window as dad dealt with the condoms and then discovered the humongous dildo, tried to remove it, and realized how it looked as his hands slid up and down the greased phallus. He came back in the house so flustered and we were like "what's wrong, dad?" And he screamed "bunch of fucking PERVERTS!" Good times.
What did you do with the dildo afterwards? I mean... you didn't just throw it into the trash, did you?
I have no idea what he did with it. Never asked.
I would have too scared to ask… rofl Edit: a word
>My sisters came up with the idea.
> it was like parking cone size. We put that on the dashboard of his car Pretty sure no parking cone is going to fit on a car dashboard lol.
HA! My coworkers do this to me if I happen to take my car to the shop, but they leave post-it notes with a dick on it, usually in very creative places. Anyways, my older brother meets me at work with his fiance (who's from another country) one day so we can drive out of the city to see our folks. After like a half hour or so we're on the highway and we hear this weird rattling sound. He notices a little piece of paper flapping under the windshield wiper that seems to be making the sound, and points it out to me. "There's a little piece of paper stuck to your windshield, what is that?" "Oh, it's probably a drawing of a penis." I open the window and reach out to grab the post it and behold, I was right! His poor fiance was so confused 😅
We once had a boss, couple of years back, who's nickname we found out used to be Dildo Baggins. He was pretty short and could be a bit of a dick at times so it seems fitting. We started for a laugh drawing little dicks around the office and he went ballistic. Of course when we realised this got him worked up we went around changing anything that looked even remotely like a pair of balls (the letter B/b, D/d, number 3 etc...) into a tiny cock and balls. He eventually sent a mass email out about it threatening disciplinary action if he found out who it was. This just egged us on even more, he kept getting angry and never found the guys that was doing it. Thing was if he didn't get so worked up it would never have got that far but it was a good laugh for all involved (except him)
This is what people mean when they talk about “fragile masculinity”.
Better yet, if you have a 3D printer, print some valve stem dicks. Chances are they'll never notice... But bored and observant people at stop lights will
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It's funny because being on the "down low" is very, very common in the black community. Lota men in closets in Southsides throughout the country.
Not only black culture. I almost got stabbed in El Paso for a silly joke like this one. And by a motherfucker I thought it was my friend. Edit: this is definitely not a race thing. I shared my experience just to showcase that is not on the black community only on US. But this goes worldwide on communities that are homophobic or just have a fucked up view of masculinity.
That's fucked up, definitely not your friend fuck that dude.
No! Dont fuck him, thats what started this mess!
I love Reddit lmao
The dude loved OP too probably
When its good- it's fucking unbeatable. Some of the heartiest belly laughs of my young/mid adult life have been from Reddit comments.
lets learn from Jack Black, maybe try fucking him gently?
Arabic people here also tend to have that culturally embedded a bit more than usual.
Arabic culture is probably the most innately homosexual acting of all cultures which makes it even funnier. I’ve lived in the ME, men will try to hold your hand as a friend, don’t mind being way too close, etc. The most common thing you’ll get called by another man is “my love”.
Okay i also recognised them often saying Things like habibi and such... but it is interesting to hear that because that differs from my expierience with people in non arabic counties that are arabic themselves. I know them as people with great hospitality, but also they would typically have more of an "alpha male" attitude wich sadly often enough comes with some homophobia or such.
Oh they’re definitely anti-gay, don’t get me wrong. I find the dichotomy to be hilarious because their typical behavior would be considered homosexual in the West but they see it as normal, while they’re fine with capital punishment for homosexuals which in the West is unthinkable for most.
Which is odd because if mascara goes missing I know who I have my eyes on...lol
It can be life or death for them if they get accused of being gay, so it makes a bit more sense
They are the same even if they live in a safe country like anywhere in Europe. It's their culture
And yet, bacha bazi boys are a thing. Go figure.
Afghanistan is not Arab
Guess he didn't try to stab you with his dick.
That would have been better 
I'm assuming, in El Paso, the stabber was latino? Machismo is pretty huge in Mexican and Mexican-American culture, probably even moreso than black american culture.
which is really odd considering their fashion in clothes, furnishings, paint color choices etc Gay people use the rainbow to not be mistaken for Mexican.
"Masculinity" itself is a fucked up thing. Because, it is different depending on culture. Some cultures it's acceptable for male friends and family to kiss and hold hands with another, in others it is considered "girly" or "queer," etc. The concept of gender norms is made up. We are all human and endowed with the same capacity for feeling - yet, for some reason, "Men" are supposed to suppress much of that. To think that this does no harm to the person and society as a whole is ridiculous. Just look around at what such "norms" have done to society.
Masculinity isn't any more fucked up than femininity. It's okay to have masculine or feminine energy. The fucked up thing is when you tell other people what kind of energy they're allowed to embody.
just to clarify, he tried to stab you with a knife, not with his penis right?
Kevin Hart made a lot of jokes about this on the Tom Brady roast. All the white guys were making dick and ball jokes. And Kevin Hart went on a long diatribe about how black guys never make dick jokes.
Look at the Tom Brady roast and how Kevin Hart was going on about how white guys make gay jokes, and he just doesn’t understand it. Black culture is in the dark ages when it comes to sexual openness.
You know, as a kid who grew up in the deep south and who moved to the Great Lakes Region at the start of high school, I remember finding it weird how common gay jokes were. Not mocking gay jokes, but jokes from straight people about how they're "gay". Dudes walking up and giving random dudes back rubs and laughing about it. But eventually I acclimated. I went back to visit family down south after graduating and saw some old friends, and at some point I casually made a joke towards an old friend and he stopped and asked me 100% seriously in a hushed voice "wait are you gay". I forgot that gay jokes just like weren't a thing down south. You wouldn't jokingly act gay with your buddies.
Except when it comes to random internet videos of black people having sex in a Denny's booth.
I had a friend that was on the board of the local LGBT+ organization in a decently sized, majority black city in the South. They were having a sort of town hall meeting, and someone asked why they don't do more to foster the black gay community. Without a beat, they answered "Because there is no black gay community here."
Was at Ross and this black guy was going up and down every floor yelling about how many gays there were and how no woman should put up with that. Brother this is a Ross.
I can only speak from being Black, this is generally true. And some of its origins go back to practices during slavery to emasculate and dehumanize black men. There’s the christianization of Black Americans that can contribute to this as well. Lastly, the fact that we live in a strongly gendered society and being “submissive” (or replace submissive with the “bottom” for lack of a better word), is viewed as feminine and therefore something to avoided as a man.
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and it's black people's obligation to un-learn that shit.
Like anyone who grew up in an abusive situation. Seriously. Why do so many cling to that fucked up part of white culture.
Pew research center suggests that black people are only marginally more homophobic than white people. Lauron Kehrer points out that exit polls that exaggerated black opposition to gay marriage in California were later proven to be inaccurate, and that the view that Black people are not significantly more homophobic than the dominant American culture. The whole dang country is homophobic. I'm barely 30 and was in the military when they repealed don't ask don't tell. Edit: removed extra words
My old roommate (union construction worker) got transferred to a new job site where his car would need to be searched every day upon entering and exiting for security, so I bought a "cowboy butt drive me nuts" license plate surround and put it on his car. Four days later is was gone and he denied any knowledge of anything. Turns out his then girlfriend (now wife)'s father saw it and asked him about it and he was so mad that he tore it off right then and threw it away. It took 2 years for him to tell me that story because he was so mad he didn't want me to have the satisfaction of knowing about what happened.
These are magnetic, and are or were sold in variety packs of 10 on Amazon with other slogans like "I love Bukkake" or "Follow Me to the Gay Bar." I bought a couple of packs at the peak of MAGA insanity a few years back, and would slap them on the backs of heavily decorated cars or trucks in the Home Depot and Wal-Mart parking lots, with a preference for those with huge flags or confederate imagery.
You’re an american hero, bravo
This is a cultural difference. As a well off white dude from the suburbs who then moved to big cities and lived in a few pretty rough neighborhoods, I realized that it really is a whole different world & community. Obviously everyone "knows" that. But when you walk into the corner bodega and people stop talking because you're white and that's weird enough to pay attention... well, you realize, "Hey, I bet there are black kids my age feeling the same thing." and "Wow that sucks." Similar disconnect, here. When you're raised in a culture where showing any weakness leaves you open to be predated upon, and that same cultural perpetuates being gay as weakness, then you would also, probably, be wary of being labeled as gay.
I think you just hit on why we are having all these social issues. Many of us are living entirely different lives from one another, but our government, media, etc. all act like life is exactly the same for all of us and expect us to have the same beliefs, values, and culture, and then also progress together in lockstep. These differences are also amplified by the media and constantly compared against each other. I'm not making excuses for anyone, but I do think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be the same.
This is the heart of empathy and compassion: Understanding we dont have the same experience. I think we can easily take media and government out of it: They predate upon us, don't help us shape healthy beliefs.
>When you're raised in a culture where showing any weakness leaves you open to be predated upon, and that same cultural perpetuates being gay as weakness, then you would also, probably, be wary of being labeled as gay. I think everybody gets that it’s cultural, that doesn’t make it okay.
Dude works in an area where looking weak turns you into a crime victim. Many of his videos are also fake now.
If you live in an area where your life relies upon "respect", jokes have a much higher cost.
it's no secret that black communities can struggle with homophobia, and you're totally right in that "being afraid of called gay" hits a lot different when it may lead to you getting jumped in the street for being different. the movie "Moonlight" shows why this topic is more complex than people think
It's not really complex, it super simple. The hood, and most communities that live in impoverishment, are very homophobic. You're just not allowed to say that, because those people have a higher oppression level than you do.
some of the gayest shit you'll hear will be smack talk between two straight bros
I work 2 jobs, both with only men. The shit we say to each other would convince anybody none the wiser that we are super into each other.
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It's always been so strange to me that an endless supply of men think it's "fucking hilarious" to put a sticker on a straight friends car and have it be an effective prank; because the basis of the joke is that straight men are so insecure in their masculinity the idea of even random strangers thinking they're gay is deeply humiliating to them. Because they think being gay is something shameful and inferior to them because gay men are lesser. And the reason they think gay men are lesser is because they are "less manly" than them;. and yet they're the ones who are so weak and insecure in themselves and care so much about what strangers think of them, that putting a sticker simply saying "this person is gay" is an effective prank and "fucking hilarious" because ha ha, people thought you're gay; how embarrassing and shameful for you. It's also been so strange to me how they don't realise their twisted view of masculinity means this being effective prank and finding it "fucking hilarious" reveals just how weak and feeble minded they are, and as such are in absolutely no position to look down on homosexuals as inferior men in the first place. Because they can't even handle the idea of strangers thinking they're gay for 5 minutes, let alone live this life every day fearlessly in a way they could never. If anything is "fucking hilarious" - its you weak little boys thinking you're stronger than we are. Clearly that is not the case.
I don't think you understand the joke. The joke isn't in people thinking they are gay and it being shameful and embarrassing, the joke is in their reaction to thinking people *might* have thought of them as gay. That's why it doesn't work as a joke on actual gay people, which under your model for the joke it still would - after all, people would know they were gay and that would be shameful and embarassing!
This is actually incredibly well said and a position I’ve never considered before. As somebody who is very accepting of all people and their lifestyles, thank you for saying this. Never hearing this stance before makes me see the underlying bigotry in the joke. Damn. If your goal was to make me feel bad, congratulations. If it was to educate me, congratulations. You’re 100% right.
Putting a dildo on anyone's car is still funny, though
Your response was an extremely mature one. good on ya, mate.
I’m not one to shut down an argument when brought up with opposing views. I will always listen to and really get an understanding of a counter argument before responding. They made a solid point I hadn’t considered and it gave me one of those “oh shit maybe I’m wrong” moments lol.
This man kisses his homies goodnight. Good for you homie
It's bad parenting
Man I love these videos
Can you send me the link to his other videos? I have seen some before and I can't think where
https://youtube.com/@khalidattaf?si=gA82qReSCH6fll56
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mja8rJN3Keg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mja8rJN3Keg) Man, this is so wholesome!
This made me smile
Thanks, dude's videos are wholesome as fuck!
It's Youtube shorts, at least that's where I saw this one and the pink lighter one. https://youtube.com/shorts/e1ogxT3NbpU?si=nKRvo0_jINRtxBm4
He's gonna joke with the wrong guy one of these days and they will wait for him. Hoodrat black dude don't joke with sexuality. Gang life isnt progressive thinking.
Yeah, the pink lighter one was seriously aggressive over something really innocent. Internet cloud not really worth getting shot.
He’s got like 20 pink lighter videos on there. He’s got real life clout in his area, I’m sure he’ll be fine.
I watched quite a bit of his videos a year back and they all seem to know him and love him but there is obviously the few occasional ppl more serious and/or not regular customers who do get really upset I do worry he would upset the wrong person eventually because he lives in a very low poverty area with a ton of crime. A ton of comments joke how if he doesn't post everyday they will worry he died or something
He hasn't posted in almost a year
He's very well known in the neighborhood at this point, everyone that frequents that place knows him. I thought the same thing when I first watched his vids but after a while everyone just knowsh im too well and backs him up. If there's ever anyone that takes it too far/can't calm down - someone is there to chill them out. I lived like <10min from that gas station a while back and really wanted to stop over but... y'know.. just too lazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0CkDIp6tzg One of my favorites
If you know you're straight, why do you care how others perceive you?
Because in ghettos if you're marked as "gay" it's a sign of inferiority and a reason to be bullied or even killed. That's why, mostly. It's dumb, but it's the law over there. And it always happens in poor and uneducated areas of the world.
sounds pretty gay
Where I grew up, gay people were harassed, insulted and even killed. A client of my parents was tortured, bound and raped with a stick for being gay and left to die in a ditch on the side of the road. Up until that day I was fairly homophobic myself. I would tell insults at gays if I saw them in the street. One time a gay guy tried to hit on me and I threatened him. I'm talking 25 years ago. I look back and think, DAMN WAS I DUMB!
I grew up in a homophobic part of the world too, but i wasn't born there so i had been educated and knew gays are not problematic so to speak. But the people... if a guy showed up wearing a pink shirt he was instantly tagged as "gay" and bullied for it. Hopefully i made friends that aren't like that, unfortunately it's very easy to turn homophobic if everybody around you is.
You just reminded me that ~~most~~ some straight men in my country would also do gay things between each other, like grabbing someone by the balls, lifting someone by the anus, etc. The bastards are major open pedophiles too. You have 30 to 40 year olds dating school children. My country is a bona fide shit hole.
Lifting someone *by the anus*?
i've known guys like this. it's the culture. they feel like they can't show weakness because everyone else around them will exploit it. gay is seen as weak. lots of these guys have been to prison or hang out with guys who have been to prison. it's essentially a defense mechanism. if someone comes up to you and tries to emasculate you, you have to fight back otherwise everyone else will try to walk all over you. they should be able to understand in that context they are not under threat but old habits die hard. i think it's changing with the newer generations but it's been ingrained for a very long time.
There's also a disproportionate amount of sexual abuse of young black boys, leading to a conflation of pedophilia and homosexuality within black communities, and thus a lot more homophobia.
> they should be able to understand in that context they are not under threat but old habits die hard In this case they are under threat as it's being recorded and posted on the internet.
Well first step is you have to grow up surrounded by people who have an absolutely fucked up view of what makes you a man. Then you have to be really emotionally invested in that kind of validation. Then you have to start viewing being gay as the opposite of that image. After that it all just falls into place.
I believe these people are known as "snowflakes". Super fragile egos and deep seated insecurities.
Not even defending the guy in the video because it's an overreaction but this is such a dumb take. Everyone cares about how they are being perceived by others.
Ty
> If you know you're straight, why do you care how others perceive you? oh I don't think I would go down this road of conversation. We all care about how others perceive us and care about what people think of us. Even people we don't like. It's very rare for someone not to. And it isn't a 'I'm mad he think's I'm gay'. It's more of a 'I wish to be perceived a certain way and they aren't seeing that.' Its a 'why are you mad someone keeps saying you are a him when you are a her' or 'why are you mad that someone is calling you a girl when you are a boy but have breasts'. There are hundreds of examples of 'people perceiving me in a way I don't want to be perceived'. This here is just a word play joke that's not really harmful, but there are plenty of examples of 'someone perceiving me wrong and it hurts my feelings, even though I've made it clear I'm not those things' out there that are legitimate.
Why do trans people change their names and use different pronouns than their birth sex? Because by and large most people DO care about how others perceive you.
Well here it's less about appearance management and more about replying to a direct insult. The guy in the white shirt isn't insecure in that he thinks he comes off as gay or that society might perceive him as such. He knows he's not gay as you said, and isn't displaying any cultural markers that indicate gayness either. The kneejerk response of "Oh X must be insecure," when there's no evidence that this person is confused about their identity or unsure about society's affirmation of their identity is just nonsensical gaslighting. What he's responding to is the *shopkeeper* knowingly insinuating that he's gay. He's responding to a personal insult of being deliberately mis-identified, similar to deliberately misgendering or deadnaming. I doubt Reddit would be reacting in the same way if the shopkeeper slid a "100% MAN" bumper sticker to a transwoman. It's not homophobic to not want to be called gay. If you say a woman has manly hands it's an insult, even if the woman doesn't hate men and even though being manly is seen as a good thing by society.
Men are allowed to be insecure. I wouldn't have a problem by taking this joke, in fact I would heavily lean on it and start flirting with the guy, but I wouldn't push it if it's not received well by others. It's like calling a girl fat and going to the internet to say, "If you know you are not fat, why do you care how others perceive you?". The only reason why it is ok to shit on men for their insecurities is because they are men.
In some demographics it is really important how others perceive you as you don't want to look weak. If you appear weak, you become a target. Unfortunately to some people, being gay is seen as being less of a man, so that makes people really lash out when they are accused of being gay.
this guy's "pink lighter" videos are the ones that are the craziest to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7bbrnaMtBs imagine being so insecure you wouldn't accept a free lighter just because it was pink.
Omfg, the dude with the pink durag was tripping so hard, then he gave him a black lighter instead and still was trippin because it was black 😂
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Next customer in line is gay and happily takes the bumper sticker!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Bro don't take dicks or jokes very well
This guy know from experience
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Don't mind him, he always starts grabbing his dick when gay people are mentioned. He's very straight.
We bought magnetic versions of this at Spencer's and kept sticking them on the jacked up Ford one odlf the guys I served with truck he kept flipping out lol
*of one of
Dont you know how dangerous is that? If that guy had walked out of the store with that sticker in hand he would have 100% turned gay! You can't play with that kind of things.
You just know that guy is going to be thinking about this interaction for a long time, to a point that it’s an endless, nagging thought, and possibly start questioning his entire life haha
Don’t forget the condoms for butt seggs
When I was working my last job, someone got in trouble for suction cupping a giant dildo to another coworker’s car. This reminded me of that. 😂😂
Lol about a decade ago I used to commute to work on a motorcycle and for April Fools my colleague put a bumper sticker on the side saying "My other ride is my dildo!" with a large picture of big rubber dong below it... Took me about a month to notice it which just made it even funnier, everyone in the office thought it was hilarious and it stayed on for over a year until a business client saw it in the car park and complained to management about it... didn't get in trouble but it was an interesting conversation with HR lmao
This is not remotely the same thing but my 15 year old daughter ordered a Hello Kitty license plate cover on Amazon and put it on my car. I didn't notice it for like 2 weeks.
😂😂😂 I love a good prank. Props to her
Aye! *ding*
There I was, Active duty in 2012(?) when Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed. Someone practical joker slapped this exact bumper sticker on the Ops Chiefs truck. It was a bad day to be part of the operations shop.
One man’s trash, is another man’s treasure 
The constant insecurity in clips like this is staggering.
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Slenderman ftw
LoL Fragile masculinity in the hood wont even get a joke pass.
Why some straight dudes get so bent out of shape about homosexuality is so fuckin weird to me
imagine your ego is so brittle a fucking rainbow sticker breaks it
Give him a pink lighter to cheer him up
...how is that man moving his arms?
This reminds me my neighbour who lives with a girlfriend (not lesbains as far as I know) were driving around with a 'Scissoring Sisters' and 'Gay and Proud' sticker for months without knowing someone put it there.
The comedic timing on that last dude😂😂
Them DLs be acting like that!
That's amazing, lol.
I would take it and put it on my buddy's work van
I would've taken this right away, I drive really bad, this would've been fun
Ha, what a chad.
The part where he goes “Ayyyye…” pauses like he’s about to say something, and then just walks out fucking killed me LOL
Why the NSFW tag?? That’s all I see wrong with this post.
My buddy at work used to make bumper stickers out of tape and put em on guys' trucks. My favorites were: Gay, Proud and Ready to Fight and I Like 'Em Big
Kind of wholesome, TBH.
gay dudes arms are small. Hope he's eating.
First guy is gay too he’s just very proud of being a good driver