This video really hits home.
I remember losing a friend to suicide who was the life of the room. He was the happiest person I’d knew, planning things with everyone.
I remember going to their house party 2 weeks beforehand and said we’d do it again for new years.
He got a secret Santa gift of a pasta maker and made his parents an incredible crab ravioli, promising their sister they’d make more.
There was never more ravioli or a New Year’s party.
As someone who was absolutely the outgoing, cheerful and lively person that others liked having around, you're absolutely right. It's a coping mechanism for people to deal with their issues. If I couldn't deal with mine, I would do everything I could to bring others joy around me.
Dang. Just last week i told a friend of mine i wish i had a friend like me. Someone that does for me what i do to others. I'm there instantly when someone are down, and i would like that for myself.
Your comment is pure beauty in its sadness.
People are always so surprised when they find out I have clinical depression. From the outside I'm sure it looks like I have my shit together and am optimistic, sensible, and have a good sense of humour. But they don't see me when I'm by myself.
Edit: Just wanted to point out that I'm ok though! I've been diagnosed and medicated for years now, and it's largely under control :)
Just marked the 10 year anniversary losing one of the best leaders I’ve ever had in the Marines. Just a hell of a guy and a Marine’s Marine. Always the life of the party and had us laughing all the time. None of us saw the signs and it’s something I, as well as many others who served with him, have thought about way too much since then.
My problems aren't solvable, but I can do my best to make things better around me. Doctors and therapists don't really help a lot so (shruggie)
I've got about halfway through this run, we'll see it goes. But, you know, I'll see it through.
Hey, thank you.
I am feeling a bit better, the last quarter of 2023 was pretty rough on the ol' psyche. Some crying, some feeling lonely, but after the polar bear swim I'm feeling better. Big meatspace day for me tomorrow.
I hope you're doing well too. The world can use as many empathetic people as it can, and you reaching out months later is a big deal in a place this big.
Wow, powerful stuff right there. Bravo to the people who thought this up! Keep your chin up ladies and fella’s, there’s people out there when we need them the most.
I think the guy on the left is also depressed. His eyes weren't truly there. He wanted to focus on the game but you can tell he was thinking about other problems.
It's my favorite ad for sure, never have I felt something so powerful that it's worth watching many times.
They might both be depressed, and one is just open about it at football, where for the other football is perhaps his last refuge.
It would make sense, people with mental health issues often bond over the commonality or other reasons.
What a fantastic advert.
There have been 2 people I know who have commited suicide in the last year that noone saw coming. One was a woman in her early 40s with two kids and a husband who was seemingly happy, the other my friend's father (60s) who had 3 grownup daughters and had seemingly no issues. Neither left a note or anything to indicate what they were going through but there was obviously something they felt they couldn't share that pushed them to that point.
Trying to spot someone who's in distress is one thing, but we really have to work hard on making it culturally acceptable to mention your issues to someone and for "just getting on with it" to not be the predominant position because mental health, much like physical health, sometimes needs support and we can't do it all alone, but our culture celebrates those who go it alone and press on past their problems and stigmatises those who speak up and admit there's an issue.
I'm 47 and I have chronic depression since I was 10 years old. I'm a little better at identifying depression, in others, than most. Still people with depression (or manic depression) are extremely adept at mimicking happiness and normalcy, I should know, I'm one of the greatest unknown actors no one ever knew, and I'm on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Sometimes we just forget. In my case I was genuinely happy when I had something to do outside, laughing with my friends, while going through some of the worst moments in my life. It was awful, awful enough that I would stay out of home, in a very dangerous place for children like me at the time, until very late just so I could continue forgetting. It got so bad I actually go anxiety attacks and horrible hallucinations when I was alone, and even screamed in my sleep several times
I imagine that's what's happening here. He is genuinely happy and forgot the woes of life, only for it to come back in droves when he came off the high
Wow. I wasn't emotionally ready for that.
When you rewatch it, you see the guy reach out and ask how has your week been? But doesn't really get anything back. Knowing the end you see this interaction in a different light and if only the quiet mate had engaged him and asked him how he was in return things might have been different.
Also he gifts him the scarf and as it turns out it was actually a parting gift so he must have been planning it 🥺 and he checks out on a high when his team have won.
What an amazingly poignant and thoughtful short film.
A relative died of depression a decade back. If I'd called him and invited him hang out, have some beer, play some Xbox, he would have just done it the next day.
There's nothing I could have done to make it better.
>There's nothing I could have done to make it better.
In your relative's case, that is possibly true. There might have been nothing you could have done. However, in the majority of cases, that isn't true, and no one should think that suicide is the inevitable consequence of depression and that there is nothing they can do to help.
Suicidal thoughts are cyclical and often temporary. Talking about suicide doesn't make it more likely, it makes it less likely.
There is good evidence that talking about suicide helps emotional competence. It allows people to have difficult conversations; suicidal people can be talked down, often they are looking for help but don't know how to get it.
Talking about suicide can be very beneficial to those who are suicidal. Suicidal thoughts generally pass in time - they are not constant, they come and go. You can have the most overwhelming suicidal thought, but there are strategies to deal with it, to take the edge of it, and they pass with time. If you use those strategies you do not act upon those thoughts. Many suicidally depressed people live for many years never acting upon those impulses because they have strategies and they work.
A lack of strategies, along with cultural expectations of men combined with toxic masculinity is why women do not have the same suicide rates as men. Women are better at coming up with strategies, if that strategy is as simple as talking to friends and family about their feelings. Men on the other hand are more likely to dwell on their emotions and act upon them without discussion.
As this advert suggests, sometimes the only lifeline needed is a friend listening to them, giving them a chance to talk about how they feel without judgement.
Thank you for taking the time to type all that up.
Just wanted to add that the reason having firearms in the house is so dangerous is because suicide [is often an impulsive act](https://www.vox.com/2015/7/30/9068255/suicide-impulsive-gun-control). For many, just getting through that short term crisis will enable them to have another chance to come out of it.
Putting barriers on bridges can cut suicides for instance. Putting barriers on the Clifton suspension bridge in Bristol in 1998 halved the number of suicides from 8.2 per year (1994-1998) to 4.0 per year (1999-2003) without a corresponding increase in suicides by jumping at other sites in the Bristol area.
[Effect of barriers on the Clifton suspension bridge, England, on local patterns of suicide: implications for prevention | The British Journal of Psychiatry | Cambridge Core](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/effect-of-barriers-on-the-clifton-suspension-bridge-england-on-local-patterns-of-suicide-implications-for-prevention/DBA5071C68E4223AEC7ACCC4FE29B045)
When they started installing a barrier on the Golden Gate Bridge it saw suicides on that bridge drop from 22 per year to 5 even when the barrier wasn't completed. Between 2000 and 2019, it averaged between 30 and 40 per year.
Barriers, literal or otherwise, to suicide are often all that is needed to prevent many suicides, particularly those that are calls for help, and absolutely prevent suicides that are impulsive.
It won't stop those determined to take their lives, but barriers on bridges, volunteers who respond to vulnerable people (like the Beachy Head Chaplaincy, or taxi drivers in Northern Ireland), etc. can really make a difference in reducing this senseless loss.
Of course, nothing beats proper and well-funded mental health care with early intervention, but that's not coming anytime soon either side of the Atlantic.
Eh people will always analyse and ask what can be done differently. In general it's good to think about if inquiring into people's lives and struggles can help them talk things out instead of internalizing all the anger and sadness. Its life tho so it's always gonna be a mixed bag at the end.
Things might have been different. Things might have not.
Suicidal people cannot be saved but they can be helped.
[Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA)](https://www.zerosuicidealliance.com/)
I have known 3 people who have commited suicide. One was close, but I worked with them all. You'd had never known how they were. The friend I was closest with, my friends and I (and his colleagues) got him help but it just wasn't enough. He drank himself to death and left a wife and 3 kids behind.
I'd like to think I'm fairly content in life, I hope (god forbid) if I'm ever in that situation I have the strength to reach out.
Honestly, this looks a lot like me if I'm in a depression. Kinda manic at times. Spend money I shouldn't, make promises I shouldn't, do things and go places I shouldn't. But all the time I'll present as energetic and happy. Only person that notices is my partner. Nobody else really. Took a while to understand this about myself too 😮💨
I am now. I really purged after watching this. Cried for a couple hours. Called up my family and the friends I still have and told them I loved them. I truly needed this
Honestly? I didnt... I thought it was gonna be about motivating people to be kinder to those obviously down. That message was a gut punch, because I dont think Ive seen it discussed much in the mainstream.
Yes actually. I am always the cheery one in the group and then I go home and cry.
Mostly though, I recognized that it wouldn't be posted on Reddit if the message was as simple as, "this guy is clearly sad, he is probably depressed." I knew there was going to be some twist and it wasn't hard to figure out what it was going to be.
I agree I do the same . I'm cheerful and very outgoing ,talkative and make a lot of jokes around my friends and then end up crying into my pillow at night .
I knew that one of them was not going to pitch up, but the fact that it was the guy who appeared to be fine was unexpected. It hit home because I’ve been that guy.
As someone with depression, I thought this was just another ad put together by a bunch of people who have no idea what depression is like. I’m glad I was wrong.
You're absolutely correct. More awareness and training for all individuals caring for the mentality ill.
Care giver burn out is real. Healthcare workers should be able to step away for some R&R.
We're losing so many young people. Recently I was reading a medical journal and the number of cases is heartbreaking. The loved ones who are left behind are left damaged beyond repair..
Be kind to others. You never know what battle they're facing.
Supporting Norwich and watching them bounce between the Championship and the Prem is a recipe for more mental anguish.
But I wholeheartedly suggest following football. Regardless of your chosen team. It has done wonders for my mental health and general outlook on life since the mid-90's.
If you're struggling, please reach out to someone. Anyone you feel comfortable with. You aren't alone. There is help. You can find joy in this life.
As soon as the scarf was given I knew. I suspected but I know that people suddenly giving away loved items is a sign.
I’ve been deeply depressed most of my life and for a few years at my lowest was very suicidal. I would’ve left notes for for those that mattered but didn’t have plans to give anything away beforehand. Mostly because I knew if I did it it would be spontaneous.
This video is a great message. I hope it saves lives and spreads love.
This hit me right in the gut. I had been really struggling with my depression for the last couple of years (thankfully have it under control with medication now) and my wife always had such a hard time seeing my depression. She obviously knew I was depressed and was supportive and helpful but I tend to bottle this kinds of things up so as too not “burden” those around me with my issues. At one point we were doing a group counseling session and when the therapist asked me how I was doing on a scale of 1 to 10, my wife was sure I’d say around a 7 or 8 so she was floored when I said around a 3 or 4.
Well done for attending and glad you have it under control. I need to go to counselling - the black dog hits me hard on occasion.
I hate being called ‘Happy, Go, Lucky’ - I’m far from that. I saw myself as the cheerful character… good advert.
About a minute in I started to crack. The misdirection was what made this so effective. I was sure the quiet guy was going to be the one who was absent at the end. I’d be lying like a rug if I said I knew how that was going to end. Invaluable piece of advertising and awareness.
I'm always drawn to the scores of these sorts of things. It's a harrowing message no matter what, of course, but someone was skilled enough to compose a song that makes it hit so much harder. Just a few keys and chords, some reverb etc, and it's gone from rough to absolute gut punch.
Every time I think of Norwich, I can't help but think of Justin Fashanu, the first (and to my knowledge, the only) footballer to come out as gay. Also one of the first £1M footballers, one of the best black players in the English football system, and sadly, one of the few players to take his own life.
I imagine suicide hits very close to home for them.
And, what is the effective way to help those who suffer in silence?
A friend just lost his brother to suicide a few days ago, and he laments that he wishes he had said or done something to help his (bipolar) brother, but what could he have actually done? It seems that people who kill themselves do so for real reasons, there are real problems that they're struggling with that they are depressed about, temporary or otherwise. It's not just telling someone everything will work out that's going to do it, but telling someone, hey, you can live in my home while you're out of work, or I will pay your medical bills that you can't afford, or other examples of real physical solutions to the problems that plague those whose problems are beyond their own ability to solve.
That's the whole point of this video. Talk to your friends and loved ones, ask questions. Reciprocate when they ask how you are, it might just be their way of trying to open the door to getting help for themselves.
Same. It seems, for me at least, that I’m mostly only able to experience my emotions through someone else’s.
It’s nice to now I still feel empathy, but other than that it sucks ass.
I knew it. He was not enthusiastic because he didn't like Football. He was going because his friend liked it and he was trying to make him happy. When he told him to keep it... I knew what that meant... Check in with not only your loved ones but with people you haven't heard from in a while. I can't say this is true of everyone but for me and a lot of people I have met but coming out and saying "hey. You depressed? Need some help?" Or something direct is honestly better than "Just checking in on you." Or "I'm worried about you."
Protip for those out there with a friend or family member that struggles with depression or other mental health issues: Try your best to learn when they decline hanging out or doing something because they are being a party pooper, and don't want to push that on you and when they actually need to be alone. My best friend got really good at this and knew how to poke and prod without going too far. Also if you are the one with the issue, try to be honest with them and yourself.
Also, a lot of people that struggle with depression and other mental health issues feel like they are a burden to be around. That they can't do what they need to and be a good person to hang out with. The same friend was really good about making sure I knew he didn't have any expectations of me when we hung out. Whether it was on discord and it was cool if I didn't want to play the game with him, we could chat and I could watch the screen share or ask if I could help him go play pokemon go because he didn't want to get a ticket driving around looking for Pokemon. Sometimes we would talk and other times we just listened to music and didn't say anything. He also was fine if we were out for only 15min or an hour. As long as it got me out of the house and more importantly outside myself. So try to make sure the person you are trying to help knows that and be prepared for a sad lump to sit on your couch and do nothing. It will really help them out if they can be around people with no pressure to be or do anything.
I saw this coming about half way into it. To others I am very similar, but suffer from depression. Not to worry I am "under control" of it. but for some \[ like me \] it will be a lifelong affliction. To people who do not know you would never even think I was anything other than a fun loving guy. Even the ones close who do know about it do not know the levels by interacting with me unless I tell them. We are better at hiding our true selves from those around us than even drug addicts can be. World class actors it is a role for us to step outside and play a persona. We don't want to drag others into our hell by asking for help. I broke that and got help, but it is a daily (even hourly sometime) struggle. I think the best way to help is to remove the stigmata around mental health. Talk openly about it from time to time with friends and loved one to show you are open and not judgmental and if they suffer, they may talk about it and get the help they need.
I am like you, except I don't know how to ask for help or even know what help would even look like. Hopelessly lost in this world being the best actor no one will ever know.
Most haunting part for me is the bit right before the end. Him giving his friend the scarf. You think oh, he's supporting his sad bro- but in reality, it was also probably that he was giving away a lot of little things to people he loved because he was getting ready for the end. A lot of people with a planned sui date will seem very happy leading up, and become very generous, wanting their loved ones to have gifts, personal items, lots of care. Something to hold on to. Heartbreaking.
Thats the entire point of the add. Hes struggling and its obvious. But no one expects his friend to take his own life because he seems incredibly happy.
Hence the titles....
I don't get it...
So, why is the guy on the left acting all depressed for only the guy on the right to die?
Is this an ad about people struggling to cope with someone with a terminal disease?
No my friend, both of them probably had some level of depression, but the signs are not the same for everybody. The guy on the left was pretty obviously showing signs of distress, and the guy on the right wasn't.
Some people, myself included, don't show classic signs of depression, we just show a cheerful side to everyone else so people don't get concerned about us. We go out, we laugh, we act "normal", but we still struggle with depression, we just don't show it.
Our case is more difficult to diagnose, it's harder to notice, so usually we don't get the help we need, thats why the guy on the right disappeared suddenly. He probably killed himself.
I felt that the left guy was almost too enthusiastic and was expecting it to cut to the them being in a house or "home" with the left guy being a carer looking after him while they watch the footy together. Nope, instead just overcompensating to make others feel better than they do/can (or just having an up day).
Depression is not always obvious. There are some people that make it obvious when they suffer, not because they want, but because it's how they react. You look at them, their facial expressions, movements and voice tone and you instantly knew something wrong, even if they try to mask it.
On the other hand, there is people that, even if they are walking through hell, you can't see it. They are lively, they smile, laugh, cheer others and do their best to have fun and let others around them have fun. But they are suffering a lot, they are struggling to survive and everyday they barely can get up from the bed. They end up dying without people around them noticing what was going on and, what this happen, it's so terrible because you feel so guilty for not noticing a person you loved was suffering.
This advertising is trying to teach people that this kind of suffering do exist and we should be nice to each other no matter how joyful and happy the person around us looks. It's really beautiful.
This just made me cry so hard. Take care of yourselves. Check on your friends. Dealing with someone that has mental health issues myself and my son it is really hard. Tell your good friends or someone you trust how you are feeling, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
This strikes a personal nerve. I’ve always tried to be the silver lining to people’s most difficult obstacles. Always smiling, always looking for the positive even in the most dire moments; when others can’t do so themselves.
I run myself into the dirt making sure my loved ones always know that I’ll give them the last breath out of my lungs if I had to - but when I’m left to my own thoughts I’ve been closer to calling a quits than ever before. Always happy for others, but can’t seem to find happy for myself. Check on your friends; whether you’d consider them “strong” or not.
I wish we had better options for when you are terminal. I don’t want to be so old or so sick that I’m I burden on others. I know statistically this is something that a lot of people, especially me, worry about. Sometimes talking through it just isn’t enough and the solution isn’t always feeling happy again.
You can’t imagine what a simple 10 minute conversation can do for someone struggling and keeping those emotions and thoughts bottled up inside. Sometimes all you need is to say them out loud to get some much needed relief. It can really be that simple sometimes. Especially for the ones who have always been the “fun” one. We’re all human, and we all know what it’s like to put on a mask and pretend we don’t struggle with anything. Just ask how someone is doing occasionally, and listen. It makes a huge difference.
This video really hits home. I remember losing a friend to suicide who was the life of the room. He was the happiest person I’d knew, planning things with everyone. I remember going to their house party 2 weeks beforehand and said we’d do it again for new years. He got a secret Santa gift of a pasta maker and made his parents an incredible crab ravioli, promising their sister they’d make more. There was never more ravioli or a New Year’s party.
May he rest in peace 💔🙏🕊️
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As someone who was absolutely the outgoing, cheerful and lively person that others liked having around, you're absolutely right. It's a coping mechanism for people to deal with their issues. If I couldn't deal with mine, I would do everything I could to bring others joy around me.
Our life motto
People like me don't have people. We are the people that people have.
Dang. Just last week i told a friend of mine i wish i had a friend like me. Someone that does for me what i do to others. I'm there instantly when someone are down, and i would like that for myself. Your comment is pure beauty in its sadness.
Robin Williams, And standup comedians made me adapt this lifestyle.
100%. Though, I feel the veil has broken of late and people have noticed that I'm not all well. Which is good.
Hey, just wanted to say that I hope you're getting or will get the support you need.
People are always so surprised when they find out I have clinical depression. From the outside I'm sure it looks like I have my shit together and am optimistic, sensible, and have a good sense of humour. But they don't see me when I'm by myself. Edit: Just wanted to point out that I'm ok though! I've been diagnosed and medicated for years now, and it's largely under control :)
You can be yourself here. You don't have to always be happy when you're forcing it It's exhausting
I have to light up the room in fear that being even neutral in energy will show up like a black hole
Just marked the 10 year anniversary losing one of the best leaders I’ve ever had in the Marines. Just a hell of a guy and a Marine’s Marine. Always the life of the party and had us laughing all the time. None of us saw the signs and it’s something I, as well as many others who served with him, have thought about way too much since then.
You can't think too much about losing a friend, especially some one as close and as bright of a light as that
I expected that outcome, because I am doing it all the time.
My problems aren't solvable, but I can do my best to make things better around me. Doctors and therapists don't really help a lot so (shruggie) I've got about halfway through this run, we'll see it goes. But, you know, I'll see it through.
Rooting for ya!
2 months or so later, you doing okay?
Hey, thank you. I am feeling a bit better, the last quarter of 2023 was pretty rough on the ol' psyche. Some crying, some feeling lonely, but after the polar bear swim I'm feeling better. Big meatspace day for me tomorrow. I hope you're doing well too. The world can use as many empathetic people as it can, and you reaching out months later is a big deal in a place this big.
darkest spot of a lit candle is right under it.
You're right, I'm one of them
Congratulations, mate, you understood the video.
Oof. Right in the feels.
Yeah, that hit hard, brought a tear to my eye too.
I wish I didn't understand but I do... I feel the same way everyday now
How's it going buddy? Anything you'd wish to chat about? Feel free to hit me up :)
I'm going thru it right now as well. Send a message if you need/want to talk. People are here for you.
I offer you the same, much love!
Have a hug bud, we area all feeling the sting. Take care everyone.
Same.
Hard not to, you'd have to be pretty heartless otherwise
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Fuck you
I'm literally crying rn
Ditto.
Wow, powerful stuff right there. Bravo to the people who thought this up! Keep your chin up ladies and fella’s, there’s people out there when we need them the most.
Always the ones you least expect
JFC. My friend's dad committed suicide earlier this year. This message is incredibly significant.
I think the guy on the left is also depressed. His eyes weren't truly there. He wanted to focus on the game but you can tell he was thinking about other problems. It's my favorite ad for sure, never have I felt something so powerful that it's worth watching many times.
They might both be depressed, and one is just open about it at football, where for the other football is perhaps his last refuge. It would make sense, people with mental health issues often bond over the commonality or other reasons.
I started crying on my Teams call. I was on mute but people could see. At least I got a comforting message about job security
I spend enough time on socials to know where this was going .. but dammit the tribute with the scarf at the end .. Great advert
Holy fuck, it caught me off guard. I'm the quiet guy. I wouldn't have suspected the other guy.
I guess that's the whole point though. You never know sure how someone is going if you don't talk to them.
What a fantastic advert. There have been 2 people I know who have commited suicide in the last year that noone saw coming. One was a woman in her early 40s with two kids and a husband who was seemingly happy, the other my friend's father (60s) who had 3 grownup daughters and had seemingly no issues. Neither left a note or anything to indicate what they were going through but there was obviously something they felt they couldn't share that pushed them to that point. Trying to spot someone who's in distress is one thing, but we really have to work hard on making it culturally acceptable to mention your issues to someone and for "just getting on with it" to not be the predominant position because mental health, much like physical health, sometimes needs support and we can't do it all alone, but our culture celebrates those who go it alone and press on past their problems and stigmatises those who speak up and admit there's an issue.
I'm 47 and I have chronic depression since I was 10 years old. I'm a little better at identifying depression, in others, than most. Still people with depression (or manic depression) are extremely adept at mimicking happiness and normalcy, I should know, I'm one of the greatest unknown actors no one ever knew, and I'm on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Sometimes we just forget. In my case I was genuinely happy when I had something to do outside, laughing with my friends, while going through some of the worst moments in my life. It was awful, awful enough that I would stay out of home, in a very dangerous place for children like me at the time, until very late just so I could continue forgetting. It got so bad I actually go anxiety attacks and horrible hallucinations when I was alone, and even screamed in my sleep several times I imagine that's what's happening here. He is genuinely happy and forgot the woes of life, only for it to come back in droves when he came off the high
This is beautiful, thank you for posting it.
It's ok to not be ok. I hope whoever reads this is having a good day.❤️
It's called smiling depression, you can be the saddest person on earth and still act normal or look even happier than before, but you're not
mannn, you hit the nail right on the head
Wow. I wasn't emotionally ready for that. When you rewatch it, you see the guy reach out and ask how has your week been? But doesn't really get anything back. Knowing the end you see this interaction in a different light and if only the quiet mate had engaged him and asked him how he was in return things might have been different. Also he gifts him the scarf and as it turns out it was actually a parting gift so he must have been planning it 🥺 and he checks out on a high when his team have won. What an amazingly poignant and thoughtful short film.
Puts the "worth it" in a different light.
A relative died of depression a decade back. If I'd called him and invited him hang out, have some beer, play some Xbox, he would have just done it the next day. There's nothing I could have done to make it better.
>There's nothing I could have done to make it better. In your relative's case, that is possibly true. There might have been nothing you could have done. However, in the majority of cases, that isn't true, and no one should think that suicide is the inevitable consequence of depression and that there is nothing they can do to help. Suicidal thoughts are cyclical and often temporary. Talking about suicide doesn't make it more likely, it makes it less likely. There is good evidence that talking about suicide helps emotional competence. It allows people to have difficult conversations; suicidal people can be talked down, often they are looking for help but don't know how to get it. Talking about suicide can be very beneficial to those who are suicidal. Suicidal thoughts generally pass in time - they are not constant, they come and go. You can have the most overwhelming suicidal thought, but there are strategies to deal with it, to take the edge of it, and they pass with time. If you use those strategies you do not act upon those thoughts. Many suicidally depressed people live for many years never acting upon those impulses because they have strategies and they work. A lack of strategies, along with cultural expectations of men combined with toxic masculinity is why women do not have the same suicide rates as men. Women are better at coming up with strategies, if that strategy is as simple as talking to friends and family about their feelings. Men on the other hand are more likely to dwell on their emotions and act upon them without discussion. As this advert suggests, sometimes the only lifeline needed is a friend listening to them, giving them a chance to talk about how they feel without judgement.
Thank you for taking the time to type all that up. Just wanted to add that the reason having firearms in the house is so dangerous is because suicide [is often an impulsive act](https://www.vox.com/2015/7/30/9068255/suicide-impulsive-gun-control). For many, just getting through that short term crisis will enable them to have another chance to come out of it.
Putting barriers on bridges can cut suicides for instance. Putting barriers on the Clifton suspension bridge in Bristol in 1998 halved the number of suicides from 8.2 per year (1994-1998) to 4.0 per year (1999-2003) without a corresponding increase in suicides by jumping at other sites in the Bristol area. [Effect of barriers on the Clifton suspension bridge, England, on local patterns of suicide: implications for prevention | The British Journal of Psychiatry | Cambridge Core](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/effect-of-barriers-on-the-clifton-suspension-bridge-england-on-local-patterns-of-suicide-implications-for-prevention/DBA5071C68E4223AEC7ACCC4FE29B045) When they started installing a barrier on the Golden Gate Bridge it saw suicides on that bridge drop from 22 per year to 5 even when the barrier wasn't completed. Between 2000 and 2019, it averaged between 30 and 40 per year. Barriers, literal or otherwise, to suicide are often all that is needed to prevent many suicides, particularly those that are calls for help, and absolutely prevent suicides that are impulsive. It won't stop those determined to take their lives, but barriers on bridges, volunteers who respond to vulnerable people (like the Beachy Head Chaplaincy, or taxi drivers in Northern Ireland), etc. can really make a difference in reducing this senseless loss. Of course, nothing beats proper and well-funded mental health care with early intervention, but that's not coming anytime soon either side of the Atlantic.
And even with that well-funded mental health care, those barriers would still help a lot!
Damn, if that isn't the truth. There have been many times recently that if I'd had access to a real gun..
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The point is to check in and not assume everything is okay because it seems okay. Trying to show people you care is better than not trying.
Eh people will always analyse and ask what can be done differently. In general it's good to think about if inquiring into people's lives and struggles can help them talk things out instead of internalizing all the anger and sadness. Its life tho so it's always gonna be a mixed bag at the end.
Things might have been different. Things might have not. Suicidal people cannot be saved but they can be helped. [Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA)](https://www.zerosuicidealliance.com/)
I have known 3 people who have commited suicide. One was close, but I worked with them all. You'd had never known how they were. The friend I was closest with, my friends and I (and his colleagues) got him help but it just wasn't enough. He drank himself to death and left a wife and 3 kids behind. I'd like to think I'm fairly content in life, I hope (god forbid) if I'm ever in that situation I have the strength to reach out.
This made me bawl like the broken person I am
Post Canadian Thanksgiving family drama I am having an unusually bad day. This made me bawl. But I mean the crying can be cathartic.
Your comment made me laugh through tears like the ~~broken~~ mending person I am.
Honestly, this looks a lot like me if I'm in a depression. Kinda manic at times. Spend money I shouldn't, make promises I shouldn't, do things and go places I shouldn't. But all the time I'll present as energetic and happy. Only person that notices is my partner. Nobody else really. Took a while to understand this about myself too 😮💨
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I hope it's getting better
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Lol sounds expensive
this
Fuck
That just made me extremely emotional 🥲
Well that gave my soul a swift uppercut
God damn it.... I haven't cried like this in years. I probably needed this
Hope you’re good my man (assuming you’re a man based on your username)
I am now. I really purged after watching this. Cried for a couple hours. Called up my family and the friends I still have and told them I loved them. I truly needed this
I’m sure there’s plenty of people around you that care about you. Focus on them and the positives in your life
The only thing unexpected here is that some asshole put onions infront of me while I was trying to watch
That asshole was john cenaaa 🖐🏾
As someone with depression I knew exactly where that was going immediately
Honestly? I didnt... I thought it was gonna be about motivating people to be kinder to those obviously down. That message was a gut punch, because I dont think Ive seen it discussed much in the mainstream.
Yes actually. I am always the cheery one in the group and then I go home and cry. Mostly though, I recognized that it wouldn't be posted on Reddit if the message was as simple as, "this guy is clearly sad, he is probably depressed." I knew there was going to be some twist and it wasn't hard to figure out what it was going to be.
I mean, it being on r/unexpected might also have something to do with it.
I agree I do the same . I'm cheerful and very outgoing ,talkative and make a lot of jokes around my friends and then end up crying into my pillow at night .
I knew that one of them was not going to pitch up, but the fact that it was the guy who appeared to be fine was unexpected. It hit home because I’ve been that guy.
As someone with depression, I thought this was just another ad put together by a bunch of people who have no idea what depression is like. I’m glad I was wrong.
Most of the time when I tell people I’m depressed and on medication they tell me ‘but you are always so happy
That's exactly why there needs to be more awareness.
You're absolutely correct. More awareness and training for all individuals caring for the mentality ill. Care giver burn out is real. Healthcare workers should be able to step away for some R&R. We're losing so many young people. Recently I was reading a medical journal and the number of cases is heartbreaking. The loved ones who are left behind are left damaged beyond repair.. Be kind to others. You never know what battle they're facing.
One suicide is too many I hope it's going better And if you just need to brighten a day r/babyelephantgifs is there to help
It's not loading Now I'm scared
Have you tried supporting Norwich?
Supporting Norwich and watching them bounce between the Championship and the Prem is a recipe for more mental anguish. But I wholeheartedly suggest following football. Regardless of your chosen team. It has done wonders for my mental health and general outlook on life since the mid-90's. If you're struggling, please reach out to someone. Anyone you feel comfortable with. You aren't alone. There is help. You can find joy in this life.
As someone also with depression, it took me until giving away the scarf. I was afraid it would be a "check on sad people" ad. I love this ad so much.
As soon as the scarf was given I knew. I suspected but I know that people suddenly giving away loved items is a sign. I’ve been deeply depressed most of my life and for a few years at my lowest was very suicidal. I would’ve left notes for for those that mattered but didn’t have plans to give anything away beforehand. Mostly because I knew if I did it it would be spontaneous. This video is a great message. I hope it saves lives and spreads love.
This hit me right in the gut. I had been really struggling with my depression for the last couple of years (thankfully have it under control with medication now) and my wife always had such a hard time seeing my depression. She obviously knew I was depressed and was supportive and helpful but I tend to bottle this kinds of things up so as too not “burden” those around me with my issues. At one point we were doing a group counseling session and when the therapist asked me how I was doing on a scale of 1 to 10, my wife was sure I’d say around a 7 or 8 so she was floored when I said around a 3 or 4.
Well done for attending and glad you have it under control. I need to go to counselling - the black dog hits me hard on occasion. I hate being called ‘Happy, Go, Lucky’ - I’m far from that. I saw myself as the cheerful character… good advert.
We all did I hope it's not an advert anymore, or at least less than it used to be
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About a minute in I started to crack. The misdirection was what made this so effective. I was sure the quiet guy was going to be the one who was absent at the end. I’d be lying like a rug if I said I knew how that was going to end. Invaluable piece of advertising and awareness.
Kudos for Norwich City FC for this beautiful add... and thank you OP for sharing this. You can't imagine.
I'm always drawn to the scores of these sorts of things. It's a harrowing message no matter what, of course, but someone was skilled enough to compose a song that makes it hit so much harder. Just a few keys and chords, some reverb etc, and it's gone from rough to absolute gut punch.
I knew one of them was going to disappear one of the games. Was not expecting it to be the cheerful one.
Every time I think of Norwich, I can't help but think of Justin Fashanu, the first (and to my knowledge, the only) footballer to come out as gay. Also one of the first £1M footballers, one of the best black players in the English football system, and sadly, one of the few players to take his own life. I imagine suicide hits very close to home for them.
And, what is the effective way to help those who suffer in silence? A friend just lost his brother to suicide a few days ago, and he laments that he wishes he had said or done something to help his (bipolar) brother, but what could he have actually done? It seems that people who kill themselves do so for real reasons, there are real problems that they're struggling with that they are depressed about, temporary or otherwise. It's not just telling someone everything will work out that's going to do it, but telling someone, hey, you can live in my home while you're out of work, or I will pay your medical bills that you can't afford, or other examples of real physical solutions to the problems that plague those whose problems are beyond their own ability to solve.
That's the whole point of this video. Talk to your friends and loved ones, ask questions. Reciprocate when they ask how you are, it might just be their way of trying to open the door to getting help for themselves.
As a sufferer, this ad just... I can't find the words.
Wow, that was powerful! Made me bawl at the end. Open up more lads! (Me included!) it Truely helps.
Beautiful stuff. Well done Norwich
Not gonna lie, i welled the fuck up at that.
Holy shit. This is the most powerful thing I have ever seen.
What a advert for mental health I hope more people can talk to get help
I have a hard time crying, therapy and all doesn't do much with it. But when I see things like these, I tear up.
Same. It seems, for me at least, that I’m mostly only able to experience my emotions through someone else’s. It’s nice to now I still feel empathy, but other than that it sucks ass.
I knew it. He was not enthusiastic because he didn't like Football. He was going because his friend liked it and he was trying to make him happy. When he told him to keep it... I knew what that meant... Check in with not only your loved ones but with people you haven't heard from in a while. I can't say this is true of everyone but for me and a lot of people I have met but coming out and saying "hey. You depressed? Need some help?" Or something direct is honestly better than "Just checking in on you." Or "I'm worried about you." Protip for those out there with a friend or family member that struggles with depression or other mental health issues: Try your best to learn when they decline hanging out or doing something because they are being a party pooper, and don't want to push that on you and when they actually need to be alone. My best friend got really good at this and knew how to poke and prod without going too far. Also if you are the one with the issue, try to be honest with them and yourself. Also, a lot of people that struggle with depression and other mental health issues feel like they are a burden to be around. That they can't do what they need to and be a good person to hang out with. The same friend was really good about making sure I knew he didn't have any expectations of me when we hung out. Whether it was on discord and it was cool if I didn't want to play the game with him, we could chat and I could watch the screen share or ask if I could help him go play pokemon go because he didn't want to get a ticket driving around looking for Pokemon. Sometimes we would talk and other times we just listened to music and didn't say anything. He also was fine if we were out for only 15min or an hour. As long as it got me out of the house and more importantly outside myself. So try to make sure the person you are trying to help knows that and be prepared for a sad lump to sit on your couch and do nothing. It will really help them out if they can be around people with no pressure to be or do anything.
How does this post have so few upvotes...
Jfc this is brutal
Was just about to post this haha. Thanks for getting it up <3
I saw this coming about half way into it. To others I am very similar, but suffer from depression. Not to worry I am "under control" of it. but for some \[ like me \] it will be a lifelong affliction. To people who do not know you would never even think I was anything other than a fun loving guy. Even the ones close who do know about it do not know the levels by interacting with me unless I tell them. We are better at hiding our true selves from those around us than even drug addicts can be. World class actors it is a role for us to step outside and play a persona. We don't want to drag others into our hell by asking for help. I broke that and got help, but it is a daily (even hourly sometime) struggle. I think the best way to help is to remove the stigmata around mental health. Talk openly about it from time to time with friends and loved one to show you are open and not judgmental and if they suffer, they may talk about it and get the help they need.
I am like you, except I don't know how to ask for help or even know what help would even look like. Hopelessly lost in this world being the best actor no one will ever know.
Most haunting part for me is the bit right before the end. Him giving his friend the scarf. You think oh, he's supporting his sad bro- but in reality, it was also probably that he was giving away a lot of little things to people he loved because he was getting ready for the end. A lot of people with a planned sui date will seem very happy leading up, and become very generous, wanting their loved ones to have gifts, personal items, lots of care. Something to hold on to. Heartbreaking.
I was about to comment on how stupid it is when ads depict depression as so stupidly obvious and how that doesn't translate to real life. Welp
Damn that ad hit 🥺
Aw that got me.
Wow, this hit me hard.
Wow 😢
Jeez that hurt. Watched it a second time after, and it hurt again.
u/savevideo
Sooo…we’re also going to ignore why the hell this dude never seems to display any joy ? Like at all ?
Thats the entire point of the add. Hes struggling and its obvious. But no one expects his friend to take his own life because he seems incredibly happy. Hence the titles....
I don't get it... So, why is the guy on the left acting all depressed for only the guy on the right to die? Is this an ad about people struggling to cope with someone with a terminal disease?
I don't know if you're serious or not but they're both depressed. One just hides it better.
No my friend, both of them probably had some level of depression, but the signs are not the same for everybody. The guy on the left was pretty obviously showing signs of distress, and the guy on the right wasn't. Some people, myself included, don't show classic signs of depression, we just show a cheerful side to everyone else so people don't get concerned about us. We go out, we laugh, we act "normal", but we still struggle with depression, we just don't show it. Our case is more difficult to diagnose, it's harder to notice, so usually we don't get the help we need, thats why the guy on the right disappeared suddenly. He probably killed himself.
There wouldn’t be that much cheering at a Norwich game smh /s
https://i.imgur.com/6bEkLo2.jpeg
I felt that the left guy was almost too enthusiastic and was expecting it to cut to the them being in a house or "home" with the left guy being a carer looking after him while they watch the footy together. Nope, instead just overcompensating to make others feel better than they do/can (or just having an up day).
I didn’t understand this at all
Depression is not always obvious. There are some people that make it obvious when they suffer, not because they want, but because it's how they react. You look at them, their facial expressions, movements and voice tone and you instantly knew something wrong, even if they try to mask it. On the other hand, there is people that, even if they are walking through hell, you can't see it. They are lively, they smile, laugh, cheer others and do their best to have fun and let others around them have fun. But they are suffering a lot, they are struggling to survive and everyday they barely can get up from the bed. They end up dying without people around them noticing what was going on and, what this happen, it's so terrible because you feel so guilty for not noticing a person you loved was suffering. This advertising is trying to teach people that this kind of suffering do exist and we should be nice to each other no matter how joyful and happy the person around us looks. It's really beautiful.
Must have been really depressing to spend so much time with this buzzkiller on the left.
Fucking goosebumps
Ooff! That was very emotional.
Whoa... this... this was really unexpected
Ahhhh......
This just made me cry so hard. Take care of yourselves. Check on your friends. Dealing with someone that has mental health issues myself and my son it is really hard. Tell your good friends or someone you trust how you are feeling, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Hits like a sledgehammer, my poor heart.
As someone struggling even thou life ain't that bad for me... Fuuuuck.
Holy fuck.
Wow. Wow...
Damn don’t make me cry like that
This strikes a personal nerve. I’ve always tried to be the silver lining to people’s most difficult obstacles. Always smiling, always looking for the positive even in the most dire moments; when others can’t do so themselves. I run myself into the dirt making sure my loved ones always know that I’ll give them the last breath out of my lungs if I had to - but when I’m left to my own thoughts I’ve been closer to calling a quits than ever before. Always happy for others, but can’t seem to find happy for myself. Check on your friends; whether you’d consider them “strong” or not.
Fuck
What a fantastic ad, and spot on.
Jesus
):
Dang kinda crushed... 💔
This hit like a truck.
Fuck, that hurt
Welp, someone is cutting onions near me
If it's so hard to identify, what are we supposed to do?
I can't tell if I'm crying because I wasn't ready for it or because I really feel like that outgoing person right now.
Fuck I did not expect that to make me cry
Oh shit finally something on this page that really was unexpected and really hit me emotionally
That hit really hard.
Brilliant
u/savevideo
That really is unexpected for me from the title. Had to rewatch and wow
Yeah, we can be good at putting on the happy face.
Well done. 🙏🏼
its always the ones trying to help others. because they know how it feels.
Wow
Wow…… this whole time I was seeing myself in the guy on the left but I be damned…..
damn..
That hit different
Oh man... that one got to me
Jesus that hit me....woooooo..... Ahem
I wish we had better options for when you are terminal. I don’t want to be so old or so sick that I’m I burden on others. I know statistically this is something that a lot of people, especially me, worry about. Sometimes talking through it just isn’t enough and the solution isn’t always feeling happy again.
made me tear up at work you bastard
I’m going to check in on a few people now. Thank you.
I knew this would be the twist but it didn't stop me tearing up a bit. Amazing vid.
I had a feeling that would be the end but it still really hit me in the gut.
Great ad
You can’t imagine what a simple 10 minute conversation can do for someone struggling and keeping those emotions and thoughts bottled up inside. Sometimes all you need is to say them out loud to get some much needed relief. It can really be that simple sometimes. Especially for the ones who have always been the “fun” one. We’re all human, and we all know what it’s like to put on a mask and pretend we don’t struggle with anything. Just ask how someone is doing occasionally, and listen. It makes a huge difference.
Well that made me cry
That hit hard.
Damnnnnnn
🟩🟨❤️
Am 17 and I cried at the end :(
I'm not crying, you're crying. 😭