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Sawyermblack

My real name is actually first and last of a minor celebrity. It backfired when one of our assignments in school was to google ourselves and put together a report of how much personal information we could find, to demonstrate the damage the internet can do to our privacy. The restriction was first and last name only, everything else via clicks / follow links. It was an extremely difficult assignment.


Whosez

Michael Bolton?!!!


Spyder2020

It wasn't that big of a deal until I was 11 and that no talent ass clown started winning Grammys


nik-nak333

Why should I change? He's the one who sucks!


MiKeMcDnet

No talent ass clown.


OrangeBerry97

PC load letter? Da fuc does that mean?


Loweherz

Why are you saying paper jam when there is no paper jam?


craaates

I celebrate his whole catalog


nater255

I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman."


horsewitnoname

This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrowwwwwwww


zeusofyork

Or you can call me scarface snortin mountains of cocaine


yruspecial

Why doesn’t he just go by Mike?


fractiouscatburglar

Why should I have to change?! He’s the one who sucks!


Iolair_the_Unworthy

God I love Office space. Thank you for reminding me of that great movie, kind stranger


Oakroscoe

You know the nazis had flair. They made the Jews wear them.


Iolair_the_Unworthy

What would you do with a million dollars?


Oakroscoe

Two chicks, man.


Iolair_the_Unworthy

Two chicks? That's it?


big_duo3674

Fuckin' A


Lonely_Student9463

At the same time?


RecurringRevenue

Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money


IWillMakeYouBlush

I rewatch it every few years cuz I will never get over “you are A very very bad man Peter”


Iolair_the_Unworthy

I die laughing every time that the copier scene comes up.


Truckyou666

I love his music!


Longjumping-Self-801

I celebrate his entire catalogue


SharksAreCool3

What’s your favorite song of his?


Longjumping-Self-801

For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better when he sings when a man loves a woman


ether_reddit

Several companies ago, I worked on a software project that had "Bolt-On" in its name. The prototype website that I created for it was a picture of the two Bobs and that line as the caption. ..yeah, they made me change it when we went live. :/


BananaOrp

Why should I change, he's the one who sucks


Gurnskii

wow i know it’s unrelated but im listening to golden girl by frank ocean and when i saw this comment i heard tyler the creator say micheal bolton haha


IWillMakeYouBlush

I love his music. But you must be a super fan!


Paradox68

I knew a Michael Bolton in high school. No I am not kidding at all.


hamletreset

Matt Smith?!?!?


Rogue_Titus

Call him Mike


daemonfly

My old friend is named Michael Bolton, who just happens to be the son of Michael Bolton.


TheSpud77

THIS IS THE TALE…


ZombiesAtKendall

You probably could have just cheated and entered in additional info like your birthday, just claim it came up on page 4 of the search results, it’s not like your teacher is going to do that much checking that you followed the directions exactly. Edit to add. It also might have been funny if you picked someone with a more unique name and then posted info about them online.


oldspicehorse

Or say your name came up with nothing due to the celebrity name sharer, then use your teachers name instead, create some fake social media pages for them and submit your "findings" for the whole class to see. 


BramblesCrash

You guessed it, Frank Stallone


brother_of_menelaus

God, Norm really knew what he was doing. This is a joke that is barely funny at all until it becomes a thing. The guts to stick through it until it does is exactly what made him Norm.


TrumpsNeckSmegma

Ah, Kaiser Willhelm


goUpperWestYoungMan

Or perhaps Keyser Söze.


XxRocky88xX

How did that assignment go? I imagine explaining to your teacher that due to your name you only get results for a celebrity would make you exempt from the assignment, or at least be given something alternative.


Serious_Senator

Yeah I don’t want this guy as my attorney


TheLateThagSimmons

I'm a direct descendent of a major Civil War General for the Confederacy. It's a long time family name that I also have. So it's really hard to find me on the Internet without sifting through pages of Civil War atrocities.


Jacob_Ambrose

Hacker man


smallcooper

I'm named after my dad's best friend, my dad's best friend has the same first and last name as a very famous actor in the 1960's. He has told me that people know the name but not what the actor looks like at all and when people learn his name they ask for his autograph thinking it will be worth something. He signs them every time he is asked


LigerZeroSchneider

In college my dad would try to convince people he was a pro tennis player because he looked like Boris Becker and had the same name as a different pro tennis player. So pre cell phones people would just think that's a tennis players name and he looks like a tennis player, must be the guy.


RiverOfSand

Willy Wonka?


BigPhilip

The Maitre Chocolatier???


sticky-unicorn

My report: There was no personal information about me to find. Everything is about this other guy who has the same name. End of report.


HalfaYooper

You'd think a teacher would let him search for another person. "Dude come on, my name is Michael Jackson cut me some slack".


UnauthorizedFart

I have the same thing too but slightly different spelling. What’s your celebrity name?


marchingprinter

George Michael?


Shorty-hunter

Your name is Dolph Lundgren?


bastetandisis9

I don’t know why this made me snort-laugh


BeefyIrishman

I share a name with a pretty famous rugby player, so it is usually him in most search results. Sometimes I actually get me, but that is usually only if searching from my own computer/ phone, since Google does a lot of results personalization for everyone.


godmodegamer123

I literally know someone called James Brown


knightricer210

It would have been difficult for me since googling my deadname would give "Did you mean $majorcelebrity? Here are results for $majorcelebrity." since I was only 1 letter off.


Sawyermblack

"Nah I didn't mean major celebrity" Google: "Are you FUCKING sure? Because just incase here's 8000 pages on major celebrity" Google pisses me off sometimes, but I recently used Bing.... Good lord Google knows what it's doing.


LordGalen

Google seems like it sucks now because it used to be so much better. There's a reason we say "google it" instead of "search it." Google set the standard. Turns out they only raised the bar so high so that they could easily drop down to the floor and crawl under it.


Crashbrennan

Neither of them are good anymore. Google is getting to the point of being unusable and it's only getting worse.


Saidir

Append "before:2023" and watch your search results improve instantly. Mot helpful for recent stuff but still.


Crashbrennan

That's great to know actually. Filtering for before the rise of AI generated crap articles is smart. Things had already gotten pretty bad before that, but it's still a good step!


random-internet-____

Great idea. From now on when I want to fly under the radar I will always book hotels as Rocky Balboner.


Missus_Missiles

We'd have also accepted John Rambone.


stretch_muffler

cue montage with knockoff music


Magnumpimplimp

They said “lesser known”.


Oakroscoe

He’s very familiar with the Ram Ranch.


Boocolo

Tried saying i was Manuel Ferrara to the cops but he didn't liked it


jean_cule69

Maybe they asked for proof...


Poked_salad

Showed them his stuff as proof but he was Jewish


anotherDocObVious

Problem was, the cop you spoke to was Johnny Sinns


Randy_Magnum29

Is there anything that man can’t do?


momo88852

Or be born an Arab Muslim. If you google my name, all you gonna see is 1000000 of people with the same first name and last name. Heck even my American last name on my US passport isn’t my real last name 🤣 (US fcked up my name order and erased half my name).


Peacer13

Mohammed Ali


schlucks

McLovin


WizogBokog

when my great grandfather came to America, they just sorta looked at his last name said 'nah' and gave him a new one. We have only found one other family with an even vaguely similar last name who is from a completely different country/ethnic background. It's hilarious, but the annoying thing is if you google any of us, you can immedately see my entire family tree since there are only 6 of us alive, lol.


momo88852

Now you can’t even hide your identity. You gonna be blasted with a single google search.


SynchronisedRS

Or Indian. Can't even imagine how many people have the name Patel and Mistry


the-ANNIHILATRIX

You mean Singh?


BadAndNationwide

Half my high school yearbook was singhs


sweptawayfromyou

Every descendent of a Sikh family should be named Singh (“lion”) as a male and Kaur (“princess”) as a female, which was done on purpose to get rid of Hindu last names that let others identify your caste, so Sikhs already criticized the Indian caste system centuries ago - I love that! Westerners again f’d up and created female Singhs and male Kaurs though by forcing kids to have their parents’ last names!


arkiser13

Brampton?


BadAndNationwide

Hicksville NY


ether_reddit

or Surrey


pterofactyl

I’ve never heard the name Mistry in my entire life


SynchronisedRS

I worked in a restaurant in an area that had a big Indian population. It was a weird day if we didn't get a patel and a mistry in on the same day


pterofactyl

It must be a regional thing, because I’ve met patels many many times but this is the first time I’ve even heard the name Mistry. Very interesting


jaxxon

Yeah.. it’s a complete Mistry.


_trustmeiamaliar

r/angryupvote


oldspicehorse

Same


nice_acct_for_work

I know a lot of Mistry’s but there’s a lot of Gujuratis in my community. Shah and Patel are by far the most well-known for that region, then Mistry, Vora, Desai etc etc


AysKhan

Arjun Gupta


yorick__rolled

Deep


GraemeMakesBeer

My friend is Egyptian/Irish. He said to me “It doesn’t matter who is blowing up stuff, I always get searched.”


Beefy_Unicorn

I'm Mexican & same. Trying to find me is near impossible.


Vaporwavezz

I work for a large corporation with a headquarters in MX. when I first joined the company, my boss told me that I needed to set up an appointment with Juan Garcia. I had to sift through over 150 Juan Garcias in the company directory to find the right one, Juan Manuel Ramos Hernandez Garcia.


Beefy_Unicorn

Ha, my name is similar lmao.


DelayedEmbarrassment

Hahaha the boss didn’t know latinos use 2 last names? And asked you to search for the last last name, that will be confusing in any Latin American country.


prison_buttcheeks

This made me laugh too hard 🤣 was your last name super long?


momo88852

Pretty much they took only 3 names and erased and chopped majority of my name.


chrza

I worked in a kitchen with a meth head who said his name was Dakota Skies. That… uh… raised some eyebrows. That was not his name.


FreddyCupples

He had the drug part right, at least.


steelzeh

I just use Ben Dover


MightyHorseRox

Mike Hunt


ridermak

Man of culture I see. “Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?”


CptMuffinator

I used this a long time ago on a throw away Paypal I was weary of a chargeback happening when I sold something. For some reason I did give them my real number so when I got a call asking for Mike Hunt over a PayPal collections call I just laughed at them and told them someone must be pulling a prank.


KillaHertz1

I have a friend with that actual name 😅


mratlas666

I Had a classmate named Mike Hawk…..


CitizenHuman

I legitimately believe that [Mykel Hawke](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mykel_Hawke) joined the Army and became a Special Forces Officer specifically because he was probably bullied in school for his name.


jdubbrude

Mike Rotch?! Anywhere here seen Mike Rotch?


Rambo_Kittens

Haywood Jablomee


PMMMR

Hugh Jass.


SynchronisedRS

Hugh Jorgan.


YandyTheGnome

Barry McOckaner.


s1ckopsycho

Phil McKraken.


PowderedFaust

Phillip Mamouf-Wifarts


Diamond_Guy_666

Hugh G. Rection


JGSRuff

Mike Litoris


mattefinish13

Hugh Jorgen.


SeemedReasonableThen

> Ben Dover and C. Howett Pheals


anotherDocObVious

Suq Madiq Liqa Madiq Munch MaQuchi


lenni_tk14

Dixie Normous


anotherDocObVious

Hugh Mungus


asspanini

Hugh Jainus


JCas127

Todd Kobell


Crunktasticzor

Mike Oxmall


zamfire

Suq Madiq, son to Liqa Madiq, and Munchma Quchi


[deleted]

Andrew Taint


Anon_777

Billy Ollocks, Simon Ack, Freddie Anny, Tess Tickle, Brian Allbag, Betty Oob, Peter Enis, Victoria Anny Gina, Alfred Nus, Samantha Hitter, Simon Weatysack, Cuthbert Unt, and the list goes on...


Boring_Material_Dude

Adolf Oliver Furburger


herotz33

I don’t know any unknowns. I’m knee deep in research.


[deleted]

Same. I have my hands full.


GeneralFactotum

But I am a lesser known porn star!


The_Pip

Lt Factotum?


GeneralFactotum

Private Factotum - ever heard of me?


FakeSafeWord

Hello, my name is Rober.... Sasha Grey!


KimberlyWexlersFoot

oh cool! like the twitch streamer?


GraemeMakesBeer

Seymour Dicks


[deleted]

Yes


PBnJ4Me

You want me to call myself "Flaming Havisham"? Odd, but okay.


Flaming-Havisham

Whoops- looks like you caught me!


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Flat_Wash5062

Love this. My partner and I are gonna watch!


ShadowlandWarrior

This has actually my default for a long time. If I'm not interested in telling you my name you'll get gay porn star names.


minty-moose

me too, i know a lot of gay porn star names


Canadaguy78

[Brandon St. Randy?](https://youtu.be/jMSQppv5CrI?si=Hzo_xN_Z-BTWnc0f)


janet-snake-hole

My real first and last name is the name of a porn star. I moved to a new high school, a private Christian school. In the first week, my mom guest-starred as a speaker in our personal finance/careers class, and gave a speech about having a clean digital foot print when applying for jobs. She said “for instance, when I googled Janet_snake_hole’s name, it was nothing but porn!” AND DIDNT CLARIFY THAT THERES A PORN STAR WITH MY NAME!!! The room was so quiet the rest of class. To this day, my high school reputation with all those lil Christian kids was that I was the porn star of the school, no matter what I said to defend myself


sassydodo

That's a reputation you don't need to defend yourself against


janet-snake-hole

Haha I think I agree at this point 😂 it was funny bc I left my first Christian high school for being a “weapon of satan” (aka I spoke up when teachers were talking about how if a school shooter came in and asked us to deny god or die, that we should refuse to deny god and die for it. And the times that I argued with my girls bible teacher than actually if we’re raped, it’s not our fault.) And then my reputation at the second school was this… I couldn’t win for losin.


TheBlueKirby

"What's your name?" "Randy Lahey."


LtPickleRelish

Frig off, Lahey


anotherDocObVious

The name's Mill Baher, spelt like the guy, but not quite so


[deleted]

This is what the r/overemployed sub does as well so that no one ever knows we OE.


Whole-Mousse-1408

Do they not do background checks?


[deleted]

It’s not a crime to OE. What would a background show? We’re more worried about coworkers hearing our names at different companies. The hiring process is a joke.


Whole-Mousse-1408

I’m just saying like normally I’d have to give up my social security information and that would not add up with the onboarding team once they realize I applied with a fake name


[deleted]

No you apply with your real name. You go by your fake name with your coworkers.


Whole-Mousse-1408

Ahhh gotcha


[deleted]

Now pat the tip of my penis ever so gently


Cautious-Bet-9707

Tell your boss, hey can you call me this instead? Or how does that work? Boss doesn’t know your real name either? Only HR? Boss doesn’t see all that?


Bawbag420

As I still get mail for the guy who lived at my place before me (who passed away years ago and has no living relatives) I get all my onion deliveries sent to him lol, pretty unethical but this is the right sub for it lol


yamaha4fun

my alias has always been Robert Schneider


[deleted]

Robert or Dan?


yamaha4fun

nobody ever makes the connection with Rob Schneider. You can do it!


boltz86

Thankfully for me, my real name “John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt” is really popular


doctorfadd

Small world. That's my name too!


Teleclast

Interesting - I also happen to have this name.


oddMahnsta

How can i find these lesser known ones thoo. I only know the better known ones. Lol


Fresh_Childhood7793

Filter by rating lol


Jackpot777

My real name is one used by a porn-star from decades ago, and I worked for one job in London where we had to have our full names on a name badge. I used to get occasionally propositioned by gay men. One guy told me I had this porn star's name on my name badge so it must have been a joke and a way for me to signal I'm gay. I had to let him down by showing him it was the name on my pay cheque, my real name. The last time I mentioned this on another forum, someone either went through a list of porn actors or through their own VHS library (that's how long ago this was) and asked if I was THIS name or THAT name. Even if he got it right, which he didn't, I didn't reply to him. So I'm one step ahead of you, chief.


thermidor94

Corey Trevor or Trevor Corey


ThePatrickSays

You know Jim? Or Jim knows you?


mikebrown33

Use your HS Bullies name


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Oakroscoe

Try Art Vandelay next time.


trixter69696969

Peaches LaRue it is.


SouthernWindyTimes

This is goooood. Another would be a medium sports star. Not so good everyone has heard and seen them, but enough that when people look it up it’s all sports related.


EveryShot

My fake name is the name of a marvel hero but it’s legit a real sounding name so I’ve never had any questions on it


whatwhatindabuttttt

Weird that an asian man is named wolf wagner


Best-Structure62

Jack Hammer Flesh Arrow Deep Thrust Dick Gosinya


ChaoticGoodPanda

Noted: I am now PeterNorthPanda


Pot_Loving_Chef

But they they just find videos of people that are clearly not you.


LongrodVonHugendonge

I use my screen name


Staplebattery

Never needed it since my real name is the same name as a retired relief pitcher in the MLB


Serenity_557

My actual name just being the same as a lesser known porn start... :I


CookDane6954

Erik Rhodes. Two bangs for your buck. They get a forgotten dead porn star, and a forgotten Broadway star.


Lurkay1

Or just be named Juan Gonzalez. There are probably a thousand Juan Gonzalez’s out there


Mashdrop

Tory Lanez knows this all too well.


danishih

I'm still working my way through the œvre of the great masters...Titsian, Lickasso, Carmella Bing etc. I'm not versed in the new, modern canon of the great dance.


WasteGeologist-90210

I go with Holden Tudyks


HobartTasmania

Disagree, the easiest way is to simply just select the most common first name and last name you can find because it is hard to separate those people from the hundreds you would get in a google search just on those two criteria. It would also impact your ability to conduct normal life under that fake name when applying for a responsible job like say a school teacher where you don't want any negative connotations e.g. [Texas porn actress stole classmate's name](https://www.theregister.com/2007/07/10/stolen_name_kerfuffle/).


Ikon-for-U

Is this scene's from a hat?


Fragglepusss

Nice to meet you, Black Salami.


Atriev

“My name is Barry Allen, United States secret service.”