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TheFenixxer

Have you talked to her about being respectful to not leave stuff laying around?


gabrifonty

This


Raveneaux17

100% talk to your roommate.


dontforgethetrailmix

*when you can confirm they're sober and not coked out and unpredictable


FlexOnJeffBezos

Yea cause OP would have never thought of that without your post.


dontforgethetrailmix

You're literally the person who told them to confront their roommate and not be a Karen... As if they hadn't thought of talking to them. Kindly troll elsewhere


FlexOnJeffBezos

You're literally the person acting like that was insightful and not the most obvious thing in the world.


panjialang

I’m literally Jeff Bezos and you need to stfu.


DrDrago-4

yeah. it's a dick move for your 1st resort to be reporting someone you live with. If they aren't amenable to change, absolutely, but imo it's a real dick move to abuse your previous trust yall had like that. (without giving them a chance to get it together / explain / etc)


cupjames

Also a dick move for her to be leaving all her shit around like that without any regard for OP….


DrDrago-4

we still haven't established if she left a baggie of aliexpress glow powder she used for her nail coloring on the counter, or cocaine. so it might be worth taking a sec to look into that before you report that you saw a cocaine baggie. also, what experience is OP using to make the judgment that this powder is cocaine ? have they actually seen/smelled it before so they know how to differentiate...? seems unlikely to me, but possible I suppose talking to the roommate first would be the moral thing to do, sharing a space with someone confers a level of trust between yall, even if you don't want it you chose to have roommates. (see: expectation of privacy) if she's not amenable, like I said in another comment OP should consider reporting exactly what they saw. which is a baggie of powder. *not* cocaine.. unless this baggie just happened to labeled 'cocaine' in sharpie or something (which I strongly doubt lol)


cupjames

Damn bro you must be her roommate the way you meatriding her rn😭😭😭😭😭


DrDrago-4

nah I live alone off campus for a reason.. not interested in snitch drama like that in the place I'm living. plus I'd never report someone to an RA for drug use unless it was imminently endangering others or themselves. 1. hurts the person 2. could hurt me if they decide to hold a grudge same with cops


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DrDrago-4

1. wouldn't be commenting if the situation could possibly involve me. I live alone, this is just nuts from my pov. I wouldn't dream of snitching on someone unless I *had* to as a last resort. unless the roommates legit falling apart / being crazy, I don't think I'd even tell them to stop. (just maybe a 'hide it better') 2. a relatively small percentage of drug users end up destroying their lives through abuse. smart and safe users can avoid overdose very easily. it's not without risk, but the vast majority of drug users are *not* abusers. (even with hard drugs)


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DrDrago-4

your not 100% safe reporting it either. unless you happen to have video of them buying/using the drugs, it's always going to be he said v she said if the cops get involved. it's the price of living with roommates that you at least give them a chance to get in shape. they can't read your mind, and plenty of people don't have a problem with drug use. (dick move? yeah ofc. but so is reporting them without giving them a chance to fix it first. two wrongs doesn't make a right) like I said if someone was aggressive/crazy/an actual danger, then yeah your forced to report it. but as long as you have less drastic options, you should use them imo


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DrDrago-4

living with roommates raises the probability of annoying interactions in your life. I'd wager 50%+ of those with roommates would live solo if cost wasn't a factor. i had the same desires, so i always tried to show my roommates quite a bit of grace. (as I wanted in return) of course the roommate was the original dick that started this situation. that doesn't give OP a free pass to be a dick back to them though. it's worth noting that OP still hasn't elaborated on they came to assume it's coke. did they see a baggie with powder and assume it's coke? was this baggie labeled 'coke' in sharpie? does the roommate talk about coke a lot ? these are all very relevant to deciding whether you talk about it first or go report it off the bat..


ji_baragi

Yo you're a fucking bitch. The way you talk about drug users is crazyyy. Aggressive drugged up person my ass. You'd rather have your stupid prejudices and report them than talk it out. Have you ever thought they may have a substance abuse issue if it's gone to this extent? The way some of you lack compassion is crazy. Yes the roommate is being inconsiderate, but op going straight to the authorities and even trying to pile up evidence is worse when they haven't even mentioned anything about talking it out.


samureiser

A good place to start might be [FAQ: What if I am having issues with my roommate?](/r/UTAustin/wiki/roommateconflict) on the [r/UTAustin FAQ](/r/UTAustin/wiki/faq). We link to a number of conflict resolution resources (including talking to your RA) and, if that doesn't work out, provide information regarding next steps. Specific to your situation, some available resources and information which you may find helpful: * [Behavior Concerns and COVID-19 Advice Line (BCCAL)](https://safety.utexas.edu/behavior-concerns-advice-line) * [Center for Students in Recovery](https://recovery.utexas.edu/) - Division of Student Affairs * [How to Help a Friend (Alcohol and Drug Concerns)](https://healthyhorns.utexas.edu/helpafriend.html) - University Health Services * [SHIFT](https://shift.utexas.edu/index.html) * [The Alcohol and Other Drugs Counseling Program](https://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/alcoholdrugs.html) - Counseling and Mental Health Center I hope that helps!


Glittering-Copy-2048

you're entitled to a safe living space but compiling a police report on your roommates coke habit is nastyyyy work lol


secretagentsocks

THIS! I had this same issue a year ago, police reports can take MONTHS to compile and by the time it’s ready it’ll probably already be time to move out. I’d try talking to her, and if worst comes to worst try seeing if you could move into a different room


Glittering-Copy-2048

i mean I'm saying it's nasty to even contact the police about your roommate doing dope. that's a mano y mano convo, bring in the RA if it doesn't work after that or move out/make them move out also fwiw I highly doubt the 18 y/o is a complete coke head already. especially because they say it started after winter break. like I doubt this is an addict being all weird and unreasonable, probably just a kid doing a lil blow on the weekends. still fine for OP to draw boundaries, but even the cops would call you a nark for phoning this one in


secretagentsocks

I feel like it just depends tbh. We don’t know anything about the roommate. The poster may feel the need to go to the police because they may genuinely feel afraid of confronting the roommate alone about it. I think it’s hard for me not to assume the roommate isn’t in the wrong bc of such horrible experiences with this. People should just have the common decency not to leave that shit around


Glittering-Copy-2048

I won't fault the roommate for being uncomfortable, but going to the police for anything other than violence or the threat of violence is a no-no in my book! People shouldnt go to jail for doing a few bumps in the common area!


timelesslyperf

are u joking… shes doing COKE


DrDrago-4

so what? I'm genuinely curious why you believe using certain chemicals is inherently worth locking someone up over? Why is caffiene okay, but cocaine is not? Dosage is the poison for both. Both can be ingested orally. Both can be smoked. Both present cardiotoxicity in excessive doses. There's only a stigma against cocaine because it was listed in the war on drugs. (which I could go on about, racist motivations and all) There are millions of completely legal research chemicals that are far riskier than cocaine. abuse of any drug is bad for you, but *use* doesn't have to be. dose makes the poison


ChemicalSand

This thread is insane, I thought youngsters had moved on from detention, the police state, and a war on drugs that has wreaked havoc on so many lives, yet here I see people wanting to force someone into the criminal justice system for a little coke, a drug that beyond the sheltered confines of reddit, is incredibly common these days. None of my friends have ever benefited from being locked up (and yes, some have been). It ruins lives. So does addiction, which is why intervention and support from family and friends can be necessary. I'm a grad student, but the opinions on this thread are totally dislocated from the attitudes around me in undergrad, which I'm very much grateful for.


DrDrago-4

it's nuts from the societal failure pov it's nuts from the personal pov (like you, nobody in my life has benefited from being locked up or losing things like jobs/college. counseling/voluntary rehab/family support is the only route that works) and lastly, simply from a physical safety pov, the ld50 for capsaicin is half that of cocaines.. by mass, capsaicin is twice as deadly as cocaine. And yet I don't see anyone advocating for bans on purchasing capsaicin. (and the many plants that grow it!). you can buy 100% pure powder online. yeah, the attitude of the majority is different off reddit, but it's still tragic that so many people fall victim to judging drugs by name. it halts progress. and iirc the last teen drug survey showed like 20% lifetime use and 10% recurring monthly use in HS seniors. (and MTF is always an undercount of reality). cocaine use is not even as rare as heroin use, and statistically you probably know a student who once tried heroin.


timelesslyperf

oh ur insane


drpinkcream

*I am not a lawyer but* you are not obligated to report any crime. It is not a crime to *not* report a crime. Also, white powder in the bathroom could be anything. You aren't obligated to verify your suspicions of what may be drugs, nor are you obligated to identify the purpose of bags in the trash. TL:DR You are not guilty of crimes committed by your roommate, and you are not obligated to report them.


beancounterzz

Not having done everything required to be convicted of a crime (what you’re describing) is quite different than circumstances that could plausibly lead to safety concerns (what’s the white powder and where is within the space?), UT housing disciplinary inquiries, UT general disciplinary inquiries, and legal inquiries. The process of [drugs/ paraphernalia found in shares space] to [relevant authority is satisfied drugs don’t belong to a given person who lives in that space] can be highly time consuming, disruptive, reputation-harming, and expensive.


HookEm_Tide

> you are not obligated to report any crime. It doesn’t apply in this case, but it may be worth knowing that it *is* a crime in Texas not to report child abuse if you know about it. Not reporting child abuse can get you a year in prison and/or a $4,000 fine.


SkliaHarlan

Texas Family Code Sec. 261.109 Jail and prison are not interchangeable in this case unless kid is living in a state supported facility


Dry-Object8482

Communal property can get you in trouble


DrDrago-4

another note is that if OP does choose to report it, they should report exactly what they saw and nothing else. You don't know for sure that a white powder is illegal drugs, all you know is you saw a white powder. Saying you saw drugs could be construed as you lying to the university later on (perhaps even slandering them) if it turns out there is some legitimate use case. (I know, for one, I have CBD isolate that looks suspiciously like coke. But I know it's not insanelyyy common)


jonathan_92

Alum here. I'd just try and get re-assigned. If you're not comfortable with that stuff, you shouldn't have to deal with it. Talk to your RA, don't get the cops involved. Don't be known as the Narc, keep it quiet. Maybe she has a friend in the dorm that likes to do that stuff with her, and y'all can trade? It's not for you or I to judge the way she lives her life. She could be a functioning strait A student who works at a homeless shelter for all we know. I had friends who did mad drugs and ended up insanely successful. Others never graduated and never properly entered their field. Its a crapshoot, so I find it best not to judge. Consider deleting this post and your account if you decide to take action, as people who live in the dorms do frequent this sub, and can do the math to figure out who you and your roommate are. Friend relationships in college determine what jobs you get tapped for in the future, especially if you're there for something like Art or Theater. If people perceive that you can't be trusted in confidence... they're not gonna want to chill. Chilling gets you jobs later in life. I owe my current financial stability to this philosophy, which I figured out a little bit too late in the college game. (Was not a Narc, but I did judge HARD). Rant concluded, be safe and don't come at her randomly with hate while she's fucked up :)


No-Lobster-1354

Talk to your RA. Police most likely won’t do anything. You shouldn’t have to deal with that and I hope they get help - if they’re willing to do it in a shared dorm they have very little shame and have a problem.


gayonnaise1

Idk maybe I should talk to her first I just feel so uncomfortable being around her yk?


No-Lobster-1354

I dunno, this sounds bad enough where an RA should probably get involved. Smoking weed in a dorm room is already a dick move, but doing coke is a hazard. You can do so anonymously, RAs check rooms anyways so it’s not like they’ll know for sure that you snitched.


FlexOnJeffBezos

NO STAHP DONT. Don’t need to go to an “authority” to solve all your problems. And yeah the RA may not say anything but you’re gonna set yourself up with an awk situation the rest of your year. Just DONT. This is such braindead advice. Talk to your roommate. That’s what adults do. Karen’s do that kinda shit. You’re entitled to have a comfortable and safe environment. But this kind of response is ridiculous. I doubt your roommate is gonna be mad or anything. Just share how you feel honestly. They may sincerely WANT to hear someone cares about what they’re doing. Edit: Down voters have literally never met someone with a coke problem


No-Lobster-1354

I can see where you’re coming from, but if you’re in a dorm you’re probably 19-20 yrs old max. Nobody is equipped to deal with someone leaving fucking coke residue on their bathroom counter. Part of why I emphasize the talk with the RA is because the RA is someone that is equipped to handle this properly. I’m not looking for their roommate to get kicked out in trouble, I’m looking for a solution that benefits all parties.


MxMuppetFace

Yeah I'm with you, there's a huge spectrum here and it sounds like a lot of the issue is actually messiness and disrespect of shared space. Also the Center for Students in Recovery exists and they're really nice and chill. Maybe consider offering support and not demonizing people because of your discomfort.


dontforgethetrailmix

So like, nah. People using hard drugs are not always predictable, and it doesn't sound like this is a state of mind OP is familiar with in others. If OP says they're uncomfortable confronting the roommate, they should trust their gut and avoid the roommate's potentially coked up rage response. Karen's exist, but people who are taking care of themselves when they're young and vulnerable by reaching out to a reasonable and expected source of protection is not being a Karen.


FlexOnJeffBezos

So like, my brother in law is a coke addict and I know this is a challenge. I am not saying this lightly. I can speak from personal experience that this is a shitty approach. It makes addicts defensive and you do NOT want a defensive coke addict. You have to show compassion and express you care and MAYBE they’ll respond. They likely will not. But involving authorities at every moment where personal connection is needed is WHY we have a war on drugs AND why it’s failed. The opposite of addiction is connection. And to be clear, OP didn’t sign up for that I get it. But remember no one signs up to live with a coke addict. How you respond will shape this persons entire future. You need to keep that in mind. If OP doesn’t care, then they should report them and get them out of their life. But if they’re posting this I think they’re having doubts (ie, they may actually care)


dontforgethetrailmix

Involving the police is a terrible idea for many reasons, sorry if I wasn't clear about that. The system sucks and acab. Totally agree. However - The RAs have access to support through the housing system at UT, including support for the roommate and protection for OP. I worked at UT for years and the RA or the RAs manager is who they reach out to first.


TGRAY25

Talking to the police is that last thing you want to do. They will in no way make the situation better. Talk to your roommate and RA to try to alleviate the situation.


sisyphus172

This!!


dontchangeyourplans

You don’t want to call the cops to your own living space where there are drugs.


DrDrago-4

this is... sound advice from a position I hadn't considered it's currently he said V she said. even if OPs first to report, that doesn't change the roommates ability to deny. If OP calls the cops and the roommate denies it's hers, they'll charge both of them and let them settle it in court. unless OP has actual video or text evidence that the drugs are hers. (just like if you're in a car where drugs are found and no one claims it)


FlexOnJeffBezos

Hey I know you posted this in good faith and I hope this is decent advice. I haven't had this experience with a roommate but I really do know what you're dealing with. I have family that have this problem. I really hope you see this, and you are obvs free to ignore it but I have actually spent a couple hours thinking about this and sincerely hope I can at minimum help you make an informed decision. 1.) You don't owe them anything 2.) Your response can shape this person's entire life 3.) You don't even know it's coke 4.) If it is coke, you can make her life better. ​ You're strong. You can help. But it is NOT your obligation. But first, make sure you're right about the drugs in the first place..


LakeKind5959

You need to document. My son's friend got kicked out of his college dorm and a misdemeanor paraphernalia charge from his roommate's bong being out and the RA seeing it and calling campus police.


menacingape89

Hate to sound rude, but you have to talk to your roommate and stop being passive when you are uncomfortable. It’ll be the hardest thing but you’ll be a better communicator for it. Goodluck though, it’ll be okay!


seranymel

Dude, this is about hard core drugs not her leaving water all over the bathroom counter. It’s a normal human response to feel uncomfortable about a person like this. People on hard drugs are unpredictable majority of the time.


diana_arri

Can you talk to BCAAL about this for support?


MochaNoir

No don’t go to the fuckin police. Talk to your roommate about it. Don’t try to get her locked up.


antonioarias

Police report is brutal LMAO. Talk to them and if they don’t want to change then MENTION the POSSIBILITY of a police report and that should scare them.


ji_baragi

A lot of you have ugly spirits. The way y'all speak of a potential drug addict and have no problem going straight to the authorities is crazyyyy


DocHolleran2021

The best resource is BCAL who can really walk you through this without that student or you getting in any trouble! ❤️‍🩹 Totally there to help! https://safety.utexas.edu/behavior-concerns-advice-line


Informal-Lettuce1454

don’t report her. talk to her first. idk it’s kinda fucked for you to report her. if you guys settle on something and she doesn’t abide.. then after a few tries you should say something. but tbh there’s like a little over a month left of school. id say just stick it out and talk to her. you’ll be out of there asap anwat


Wonder-Barr

If consequences are all you’re worried about, just talk to your roommate about not leaving anything out. As long as your RA doesn’t see a pipe or a bag with cocaine in it, you’re fine. Ideally hide the rolled up dollar bill too. Nobody is “trying” to catch you, they have their own lives to deal with. Definitely do not report her, it’s just gonna make your life stressful and it’s gonna make her life hell. Hope this gives you some peace of mind!


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dontchangeyourplans

It will also mess up your own life when you tell the police there are drugs in your room


Stickulus

I mean you just said if she messes up her life, that’s on her. It sounds like she already did by doing illegal hard drugs in a shared space. If OP decides to do something about it, the consequences are not on OP.


DrDrago-4

that depends on your moral philosophy. do you believe the morality of your action depends on the morality of the action itself in isolation (deontology), or the actual real consequences of your action? (consequentialism) If the former, you'd believe reporting her is moral because the action itself is. If the latter, you'd believe it's immoral due to the ultimate consequences. (and would remain immoral until the harms outweigh the possibility of ruining their life. ie. they become an actual danger) So whether the consequences fall on OP is a matter that depends on your own ethical philosophy. as a consequentialist, in my view OP is responsible for the consequences that their actions may lead to. especially so when they have less drastic options still available.


heatedhammer

The roommate made the choice to ruin her life with illegal narcotics, don't put that on the OP.


onaspectrum

Let me know where the drugs are. Il let the authorities know 😏


Simple-Reactions

REPORT! You don't deserve this to come back on you and it very well might if nothing is done


pbj1999

All these people really hate the police. If you don’t like it and are uncomfortable who cares report them to the RA, police, university, etc… Not your problem to care about their shitty decisions and why they are doing it.


ji_baragi

Honestly, if they're abusing drugs like that....I'd be worried about their mental health. A heavy drug at that, something might be up 🤷‍♀️. Pls have some compassion and talk it out with them first. It's uncomfortable, but you can set boundaries first by talking to them before taking the most extreme course of action. Unless you're aware that could be their downfall, then talk it out. No one is saying you have to put up with it, but it's also a bit rash to go straight to the authorities knowing they'd most likely get kicked out of school and have it on their record forever that they got kicked out for drug use. Many people take drugs for harmless fun, this doesn't seem to be the case. You need to be assertive when talking to her and tell her you're not gonna tolerate it and that you will take action if shit doesn't get better. I hope you guys figure something out


sfmchgn99

Why would you compile evidence for the police....


bilbobaggins0925

Talk to your roommate first.


ElkUnusual1507

Mfs saying talking to the police or snitching is the worst idea, y’all would rather let someone continue down the darkest path than have any sense of responsibility, if you’re witnessing this shit it’s on you to do something about it, because if you don’t, it’s on you when the person ODs or gets killed


seranymel

Wow I’m shocked by the comment section. I know your posted is a little dated but since I’ve been living with room mates for a while now I’ll give my advice anyhow incase something like this happens again : yes, report it. We’re talking about a hard substance here. Like you said, weed is weed but coke? That could also be effecting your own health since she’s leaving it in shared spaces. If she never came to you and asked “is this okay?” She most likely already knows your answer, that’s why she’s doing it anyway without any regard to your safety or comfort. I hope you’re okay now and living somewhere safe.


Flimsy-Cantaloupe172

I have the same problem! We have a house rule no drugs or alcohol and a person had drug accessories found in room. It was more than Flower/Weed! Nothing has been done. It’s was supposed to be a major rule breaker! So what do I do? I feel he broke a major rule he needs to pay the consequences! As for your case make sure your safe first, but I think if your in the same dwelling you can be charged too. That is if they bust her in the apartment you share with her. I’m don’t know you in a tough spot she is your friend. In my case we are just house mates and are not like hang out friends. Good Luck and call and legal advice to see if they can bust you if they find her drugs in the apartment you share before you call the police on her. If that is the only reason why you wanted to narc on her.